Goodness Gracious Me brought iconic British-Asian comedy to TV with hilarious sketches, unforgettable characters, and sharp cultural satire 😂🔥 From “Going for an English” to legendary family moments, the show became a comedy classic that still feels ahead of its time. A true gem of British television and South Asian humor 🇬🇧🇮🇳
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#goodnessgraciousme #britishcomedy #asiancomedy #southasian #classiccomedy #ukcomedy #comedysketch #cultclassic #britishtv #funnyclips #comedyshow #90scomedy #satire #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #legendarycomedy #retrohumor #tvclassics #desihumor #bbccomedy #iconicshows #comedygold #nostalgiatv #britishasian #dailymotion #comedymoments #sketchcomedy #retroshows #classicbritishtv
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FunTranscript
00:25Good and gracious me!
00:32I tell you, man, this place has changed totally!
00:37Well, man, that is what happens when you don't come to school for a year, innit?
00:40You know what?
00:41When we started coming here, I don't reckon there were as many Asian kids as there are
00:46now, you know?
00:47That, man, is because there is a general and massive fold increase in the number of brown
00:51people in the world, including our school.
00:54Why's that, man?
00:55Because everybody's been cross-breeding with each other, innit?
01:02Not with us, they ain't, man.
01:07Just shut up and listen to what I'm telling you, right?
01:09There is a global, pan-continental, interracial Russ Malai festival going on!
01:16But, right, in the year 2050, everyone on the earth will be brown because of interracial
01:20mixing.
01:21Yeah!
01:24Like crayons!
01:25What?
01:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:27No, no, no, it's true.
01:28You remember when we were kids, yeah?
01:30And you get all the different crayons and then you mash them up all together, yeah?
01:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:34You mix the crayons and they come out brown.
01:37Nah!
01:38You eat the crayons and then they come out brown.
01:43You kiss my chaddies, man.
01:45That is both wrong and disgusting.
01:47What I'm telling you is a beautiful thing.
01:49Where all the peoples of the world become a global tribe, rejoicing in the glory of their
01:54newfound brownness.
01:57So, what you're saying is, right, that everyone's going to be Asian?
02:00That is what I'm saying.
02:01Oh, that's going to be a massive problem, man!
02:03What are you talking about now?
02:04If everyone in the world is Asian, who can I smoke in front of without my mum finding
02:09out?
02:12That's a small price to pay for racial harmony.
02:15What about the cricket team?
02:17If everyone's Asian, who will we play?
02:20There will be one big team consisting of everybody and everyone in the world will take it in turns
02:26to be captain.
02:28Same as now, then?
02:30Yeah.
02:31But you've got to think about the massively positive aspects of Asia world, man.
02:34What's that, man?
02:35Well, for example, all shops will be permanently open.
02:39And you won't have to spend ages waiting for a doctor, because you'll probably be one.
02:45Yes, man!
02:46Yes!
02:47Yes!
02:48But best of all, right, in Asia world, there will be no more wars.
02:52The whole planet will be ruled over in peace and tranquility by one all-powerful leader,
02:57the Richard Branson of Asia world.
03:00Who's that, man?
03:02The Bartok Pickle family, innit?
03:11I love tandoori cooking.
03:14How do you think they get that incredible colour?
03:16Well, they use a traditional clay oven, you see.
03:30Hello, dear.
03:33Hi.
03:34All on your own, eh?
03:37Yes, I was once shy like you.
03:41You know, back home when we wanted to win a man's heart, there was only one way to do it.
03:47What was that?
03:49Dance, of course.
03:50The dance of love, the dance of seduction.
03:53Nothing inflames a man's passions more than the ancient Punjabi dance handed down from mothers
03:59to daughters across countless generations.
04:03Will you show me?
04:06Come, let us release your untapped sensuality.
04:28It's working.
04:30Dance like the wind.
04:36No, I really respect you.
04:39Yeah?
04:39But you're a young, educated, professional Asian woman who's broken away from all those
04:44old, traditional gender roles.
04:48And you've got great kicks and all.
04:53Check these.
04:56Junkie Lafunga is the heartthrob veteran of over 4,000 Bollywood films.
05:01He's now in Britain, hoping to make the same impact on Western audiences.
05:06I know you.
05:39.
05:42Yeah?
05:43I've never seen.
05:57Ah.
05:59He's behind him!
06:01Yeah!
06:01I forgot.
06:02He followed up later.
06:03I asked him before.
06:13Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom...
06:22Let's do one work.
06:24Mom, your hard work, I'll definitely change.
06:30Mom, but first,
06:45I caught up with him on the set of his latest movie adaptation
06:48of a Jane Austen classic.
06:52So, Chunky, to what do you attribute your phenomenal Bollywood success?
06:57So sorry.
06:59Your eyes, uh...
07:01They mesmerise me.
07:02Of course, my fans really, uh, love me.
07:08They are the secret of my success.
07:11Sweetie, darling, darling, mozzarella, huh?
07:15You know, the girls really go crazy when I give them the look.
07:22The look?
07:24What's the look?
07:26Well, sweetie, darling, it goes something like this.
07:35Very impressive.
07:36Good, I'm good.
07:36Getting a bit hot down the collar.
07:38Very, very hot, as you can imagine.
07:40I can feel it.
07:41I can feel it.
07:43If you think it's going to be difficult to adapt this Bollywood style of movie acting to
07:48Western period drama...
07:50No.
07:52But isn't it true to say that Bollywood films tend to be rather stylised with an emphasis
07:57on melodrama and heightened external emotion, as opposed to the sort of internal characters
08:03of the Western tradition?
08:19Mom, Mr. Darcy is here.
08:21May I present him?
08:23Oh, very well, Hopkins.
08:32The presumptuous visit
09:03So romantic holding hands under the table
09:15Please
09:18Don't worry about me, Dad
09:20The train's very safe
09:21I'll be in Paris before you know it
09:23Oh, you enjoy yourself
09:25And send us a postcard, huh?
09:28Mum, are you going to say goodbye?
09:31But Paris
09:33Why you want to go to Paris
09:35But I can make it at home for nothing
09:39Come back home, I'll be rude to you for a week
09:41And I'll spit in your food
09:43Then we can make a hole in the ground
09:45For you to do your toilet
09:47So, it's how long
09:48Oh, leave me out of this
09:49Here, take this
09:51That'll be ten pounds, please
09:53What more Paris?
09:55Mum, will you just leave it?
09:57Ah
09:57Look how French I am
10:00I'm wearing a silly berry
10:02It's an overteam
10:03Sorry, no speak English
10:05Je parle en français
10:07Ah, l'ouette, je ne dis à l'ouette
10:09Ah, l'ouette
10:16According to your card
10:17The privilege of the next dance
10:19Is mine
10:47So, do you have any trouble finding us?
10:49No, straight through on the A-10
10:50And then the B-3-1-1-8
10:54Later rivals
10:55That'll be the neighbours
10:57Oh, no blood
10:58Yes, and they're very keen to blend in
11:00Guys, this is Sergit's engine
11:03And Vanessa
11:07Hi, I love the costumes
11:09What made you choose them?
11:11Well, you did say that you were swingers
11:13Four?
11:17I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for foursomes later on
11:25Well, I'm glad to hear it
11:27Vanessa's been up all morning polishing my wood
11:33Yes, well, I wouldn't have had to
11:37If you didn't take such big divots with it
11:44Yeah, well, anyway
11:45I suppose actually you'll be wanting to mingle
11:47And let your hair down
11:48Actually, there's a couple of people here
11:49I'm sure you're going to get along with really well
11:51Oi, Sergita!
11:54Dennis, you're a party animal
11:58Ah, I see you're old friends
12:00Ha, ha, ha, yes, yes
12:02Friends could both make you
12:03Don't mention it all, Fruity
12:06I see the baby's up a bit late
12:09Not a baby, Dennis
12:12He knew that
12:14Great
12:14I expect you'll find this whole scene very tame
12:17Yes
12:18I expect you'll get up to some pretty exotic things where you come from
12:21What?
12:21You mean next door?
12:23I mean, you know
12:25You'll probably teach us a lot of thing or two
12:27We're British, we're so sexually inhibited, don't you think?
12:31Yes, we are
12:33I'm very inhibited, sexually
12:36So is Dennis, aren't you, dear?
12:39Thank you
12:39I was just saying, Dennis
12:42How sexually backward you are
12:44Oh, yes, completely useless
12:47There again, there's nothing more British than a good orgy
12:52I should co-co
12:53Yes, we're always having orgies at our place
12:56Very naughty, very British
12:58Well, our house is a cesspit of sexual degradation
13:02Well, St. John is frequently beside himself with sexual rage
13:09Don't you think you've had enough, dear?
13:10You wish
13:11Well, if it's an orgy you're after
13:15We'll jump in any time
13:17Fill the bath with baked beans, huh?
13:20Chain me to something painful
13:22Spank me hard and call me Barbara
13:25How about a bit of wife swapping?
13:28Oh, swapping, swapping
13:29A set of screwdivers for Charlotte
13:32I knew our Asian guests would spice up the party
13:35You have Asian guests?
13:38Oh, two, honey
13:39Oh, dear
13:40We really should be going
13:42Hang on, what about the orgy?
13:43What?
13:44With Asian people?
13:45You bummer
13:46You're disgusting
13:47Go on, we're leaving
13:48Let's just leave it
13:49Well, basically
13:59We've been continuously harassed ever since we got married
14:03Since we got married, that's right
14:05It's been stones through the window
14:08Excrement through the letterbox
14:11Threats
14:11We've had threats
14:14Basically, they've just made our lives a living hell
14:17What do you think is the reason for this persecution?
14:21Well, it's because I'm Muslim and he's Hindu
14:27I'm not Hindu
14:28I thought you were
14:33I wonder what it is then
14:39Namaste, namaste
14:40Welcome, one and all
14:41I am the Guru Maharishi Yogi
14:44And this is my Ashram
14:46Here you'll find peace, spiritual harmony
14:50And inner enlightenment
14:52All for a very reasonable 120 pounds per night
14:55Including breadcrumbs, minibar, and ashar cap
14:59The first thing you must do
15:00On entering the ashram
15:02Is to shed the cares of the outside world
15:05Which are symbolized by your clothes
15:08So, get them off
15:11There, you're not the men
15:14Your cares are symbolized by your watches
15:16And your credit cards
15:18And you may shed those in that little hut over there
15:20Off you go
15:21And take this blessing with you
15:29And take this blessing with you
15:32Now, as you sit before me
15:35As God intended
15:38In your frilly underwear
15:42The healing process can begin
15:44Firstly, I will cleanse your auras
15:47By waving my hands in a strange and mysterious fashion
15:50Above your heads
15:57Maratha, drisht, na asha
16:01Voulez-vous kushé avec moi?
16:03So, haaa
16:07Next, I will locate your chakra
16:10This is the center of your spiritual power
16:13Each person is in a different part of their body
16:16Yours, my dear
16:17Yours, my dear
16:17Is in the...
16:20Perhaps we can examine it more closely later
16:228.30, my heart
16:22You like new world chardonnays?
16:25Yours, what else?
16:27Yours, I think, is located with the men
16:29Jau, jau, jau, jau
16:36In a moment
16:37I will run my hands over your newly cleansed auras
16:41Now, sometimes the healing process can feel quite intense
16:46So that it may feel like I'm actually
16:49Caressing and stroking your firm young bodies
16:51But I assure you this is not the case
16:54And I want you to show your faith in me
16:56By reaching out with your hearts
17:00Your souls
17:01And your writing hands
17:02And signing this legally binding disclaimer
17:06Thank you
17:08Now, to create the correct mood for chakra location
17:11I will play a traditional tantric incantation
17:28Right, son
17:28There's nowhere to run
17:30Just turn around nice and slowly with your hands on your head
17:33Come on, pal
17:34Don't do anything silly
18:09Thank you
19:00Oh, hello. Fancy seeing you here.
19:04Hello, yes. I don't usually shop here. No, my son normally drives me to the West End.
19:11Oh, so does mine. And he pays for my shopping.
19:17Well, the only reason I'm here is, you see, I have to go to mother care.
19:21My son has provided me with another grandchild.
19:26What about your son? Still firing blanks?
19:30Actually, my son is very fertile.
19:34Oh, really?
19:34Oh, yes, really. Only last month he went to the clinic to get his sperm counted.
19:40Oh. And what did they find?
19:42They're still counting.
19:45Well, my son also went to the clinic, but they didn't bother with counting it.
19:50No?
19:51No, they just weighed it.
19:57Well, actually, my son's wife is pregnant with triplets. All boys.
20:05Well, see, my son's wife is also pregnant. Only three weeks after dropping the last one.
20:11Also triplets, also all boys and all, ooh, doctors.
20:19Well, as soon as my son's wife has had the quads, they will immediately enter the family business,
20:25leaving my son free to impregnate his wife on a full-time basis.
20:29Oh.
20:30Well, you see, my son is so fertile that he doesn't have to be at home to impregnate his wife.
20:36No. He can do it from the office by email.
20:42OK.
20:44Let me tell you how fertile my son is.
20:48Oh.
20:48The U.S. Congress has commissioned him to repopulate the whole of Alaska.
20:53Buy a satellite link-up, catch it on table, help of you.
20:59Well, you've heard of the Asian population crisis?
21:02My son.
21:04Working from home.
21:07Well...
21:07And if you wish to enquire about his dunder, it's enormous.
21:15You really are a mysterious woman.
21:18You really intrigue me.
21:20Oh.
21:20Why is that?
21:22Well, how does a dusky beauty like you grow a blonde moustache, innit?
21:32I can't take it anymore, Laleline.
21:35I know what's been going on between you and your long-lost second cousin who suddenly arrived
21:39from New Zealand.
21:40And I'm not sharing a house with that guy anymore.
21:44Now, either he racks off or I do.
21:46Oh, Twain, don't be such a jerk.
21:48He's just a friend, that's all.
21:51He's here.
21:52Oh, please, don't do anything stupid.
21:56Listen, mate, it's time we've had a talk.
22:26He's here.
22:29He's here.
22:30Well done, David.
22:32Lovely, lovely, lovely.
22:33Ah.
22:34Time for a piece.
22:35Make up.
22:36Watch you.
22:37Where are you?
22:37Lovely, lovely.
22:47Meow, pussy cat.
22:49Yeah.
22:49It's me, Smita Smitten Showbiz Kitten, crawling through the cat flap of controversy to bring
22:55you hot gossip from the grunge under the celebrity cooker.
22:59And tonight, my little feline nobodies, I have managed to penetrate the hottest party in town.
23:05Yeah.
23:06Bollywood director G.S. Chopra's birthday bash.
23:10It's showtime, pussycats.
23:14Hiya, baby!
23:17It's my favorite hero, Chunky Lafanga.
23:21Looking strangely wizened without his chest wig and platform boots.
23:25Let's go and talk to him.
23:28Mitaav!
23:29Say about the shoot, huh?
23:31Hi, Chunky.
23:32How's it hanging?
23:34Sorry, sweetie.
23:35No autographs.
23:36Come take it.
23:38So, I hear there's been a certain amount of tension between you and Simple Patel on your
23:43latest movie.
23:44Care to comment?
23:46Who the hell are you?
23:48Any minute now, viewers, he's going to burst into laughter and give me a roguish hug.
23:55It's me, Smita.
23:59Remember?
24:00Smita, me, you, December 92, the photocopier.
24:05You!
24:06You!
24:07You bitch!
24:08How did you get in here?
24:10What a joker.
24:12And here comes Chunky's wife, Rekha, to clear up the confusion.
24:16You again.
24:17I told you to keep away from my husband, you slapper.
24:23Security!
24:25Security!
24:26Security!
24:28Security!
24:28Security!
24:28Security!
24:28Security!
24:29Don't worry, viewers.
24:30The cat always lands on her feet.
24:34Ouch.
24:34Hi.
24:35I'm a pigman.
24:40I'm a pigman.
24:42I'm a pigman.
24:43I'm a pigman.
24:43Oh, look who it is.
24:45It's Ard Malek.
24:52How chivalrous.
24:53Well, you never get that arse under the table otherwise.
25:05Hi, Brindar.
25:06Hi, cool.
25:07Want to come for a spin?
25:08Okay, cool.
25:09Jump in, innit?
25:15I'm a Punjabi girl.
25:17In a Punjabi world, I'm still single and I'm bilingual.
25:22I've never had my hair or one cheap underwear.
25:26My qualifications, good and well-education.
25:30Come on, Brindar, let's go, Bhangra.
25:32Come on, Punjabi world.
25:36I share the adventures further than Hester.
25:40I can go and clean each other's dairy and cuisine.
25:43Do what I order, cause I'm a good daughter.
25:48My boyfriend's 23, drives a big foot free.
25:52He's so cute and he's also romantic.
25:56You're my babe, you're my bird.
25:58Let's go seen and not heard.
26:00Hurry up, now strip off my, my dear stick.
26:03You have to look, but keep it clean.
26:07All my brothers, but flick your sleeves.
26:11Oh, wow.
26:12I'm up and chubby girls, in up and chubby words.
26:16Heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, is all you're getting.
26:20You can beg and flee, fall down on your knees.
26:23But no hanky-fank feet, until I start to eat.
26:28Come on, Brindar, let's go, Bhangra.
26:29Oh, oh, yeah.
26:31Come on, Brindar, let's go, Bhikya.
26:34Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
26:35Come on, Brindar, let's go, Pizza.
26:37Oh, oh, okay.
26:39Come on, Brindar, take your top off.
26:41Oh, yeah.
26:44I can pout, I can flirt, like a fake bit of skirt.
26:48Let your man think that God said my mummy.
26:51I can pose, I can shout, talk my woman about.
26:56If you don't call my mates, call me Fanzine.
26:59Oh, no, we can touch, play the game.
27:02But we don't talk, ain't that a shame?
27:06Maybe we could be friends, but instead we've begun that.
27:15I'm up and chubby girls, in up and chubby words.
27:18Only these perks, can they buy you what's expected.
27:22I'm settled with a mate, I'll throw a bit and put some weight.
27:26My happy ending, no more pretending.
27:30Come on, Brindar, clean that window.
27:32Oh, oh, yeah.
27:34Come on, Brindar, cook my dinner.
27:37I don't bite.
27:38Come on, Wati, wash my dhoti.
27:40Oh, oh, oh.
27:50I'm up and chubby girl, in up and chubby words.
27:56No one told me about matrimony.
28:01You start off with a date, and end up extra late.
28:08Who anticipated love so complicated.
28:14Oh, cool, I'm not happy, you know.
28:16Oh, come on, Brindar, we only just got married.
28:18I love you, cool.
28:19Yeah, whatever.
28:20How about we just talk tonight, eh?
28:22Yeah, all right.
28:35The quintessence of faith based on a multidimensional spirituality purporting to secular instigation.
28:43Achha.
28:46So, there's two triple words scores, a double letter score, and I used up all my letters.
28:49I win.
28:50Good.
28:54Good Dutch gracious, mate.
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