Goodness Gracious Me brought iconic British-Asian comedy to TV with hilarious sketches, unforgettable characters, and sharp cultural satire 😂🔥 From “Going for an English” to legendary family moments, the show became a comedy classic that still feels ahead of its time. A true gem of British television and South Asian humor 🇬🇧🇮🇳
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#goodnessgraciousme #britishcomedy #asiancomedy #southasian #classiccomedy #ukcomedy #comedysketch #cultclassic #britishtv #funnyclips #comedyshow #90scomedy #satire #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #legendarycomedy #retrohumor #tvclassics #desihumor #bbccomedy #iconicshows #comedygold #nostalgiatv #britishasian #dailymotion #comedymoments #sketchcomedy #retroshows #classicbritishtv
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FunTranscript
00:30There are some people in the Asian community who think that all white women are really promiscuous and just sleep
00:34with anyone.
00:35God, that's just so ridiculous.
00:37I know. But you do, don't you?
00:43Check, please.
00:45You're watching Asian Children's BBC TV.
00:48Now let's kick off the weekend with Live and Cooking!
01:00Jump!
01:03Hi, Asian kids. My name's Chippy Sundar Lingam.
01:05And I'm Sani Kumar.
01:08You kids want to have fun?
01:09Yay!
01:11I bet you do.
01:12There's plenty of time for fun.
01:13After you've done your studies, done your exams, got a degree, got a good job, got married, had children, and
01:17the children have left home, then you can have fun.
01:20Oh, Chippy, you're so sensible.
01:22Cover yourself up.
01:25Okay, let's get on with the show.
01:27Yay!
01:28Jump!
01:29First up, we're over to Computer Corner, where we're going to check out the latest software releases with our resident
01:34cyberpunk, Dumpy.
01:37Wow, mega graphics, Dumpy.
01:41And what piece of virtual hilarity are you playing?
01:43Well, I'm checking out the hottest new software on the market.
01:47It's an updated version of an old classic, and it's mega fast with state-of-the-art bitmap imaging.
01:53Wow, Dumpy.
01:54You're fat.
01:56What's it called?
01:58Excel spreadsheet.
01:59Radical.
02:00And have you been reviewing any games for us, Dumpy?
02:03No!
02:05Good girl.
02:06Over to you, Chippy.
02:08Okay, kids, don't forget, later on in the program, we've got Pop Sensation 5 coming up,
02:13and we'll be asking them what respectable jobs they're going to do when they grow up.
02:16You can phone in on 5, 6...
02:18Watch out, Chippy, look who's coming.
02:20Who?
02:21Uncle Blobindo.
02:29Oh, no!
02:30No, don't do this.
02:31No, it's not a respectable thing to do.
02:34No, no, no, get off, get off.
02:36No, jump!
02:41Take that thing off!
02:43This is not you!
02:44You, take that head off!
02:46Ah, let your mother see you!
02:50Is this any kind of job for a respectable Indian boy?
02:53You see, kids, this is what happens when you watch television all day and you don't do your homework.
02:57Oh, come on, man, give us a break.
02:59I'm just trying to earn a living.
03:00Will you knock off that stupid voice?
03:03What stupid voice?
03:05Nobody thinks that you're funny.
03:07Anyone think he's funny?
03:10I'm just trying to shut up.
03:12Shut up!
03:13Shut up!
03:13Shut up!
03:13Shut up!
03:13Shut up!
03:14Don't do your homework!
03:22I'm standing in the midst of what is fast becoming Europe's worst humanitarian disaster.
03:30Behind me are scenes of devastation and tragedy as more and more refugees like this little mite here pour into
03:39the area searching for food.
03:42They come in their hundreds, spilling from dilapidated vehicles to begin the frantic struggle for the meagre food parcels that
03:53can be found lying around.
03:56Now, it would seem we're being joined by one of the refugees.
04:00Can you tell me, are you experiencing difficulties in finding food for your family?
04:06No.
04:10Right, um, well, how would you describe the conditions within the refugee camp?
04:18What refugee camp?
04:20Well, this one here.
04:23This is my family picnic.
04:27One second.
04:28Last, we're together.
04:30And we'll never be parted again.
04:31Oh, come here, darling.
04:33I've waited so long for this.
04:37Oh, yes.
04:38Oh, there it is.
04:41Oh, yes.
04:44This doll is fantastic.
04:46Yes, very good.
04:46Oh, you can remember.
04:48Oh, it's very tasty.
04:49That doll I've ever had.
04:51That doll.
04:51Very good.
04:52That's fantastic.
04:56The entertainment world was rocked today with the shock revelation that Bollywood superhunk and darling of Indian cinema for the
05:03past 25 years, Chunky LaFunga, participated in a pornographic film as a young actor.
05:08Look, I'm here at a hastily convened world press conference to hear Mr. LaFunga's response.
05:14Oh, and I think they're about to speak.
05:16Ladies and gentlemen, for legal reasons, my client will not be speaking today.
05:21I'll be reading a parody statement written by my client himself.
05:28Sweetie pumpkin darlings.
05:30Okay, it's true.
05:32I did a hardcore porn film.
05:34But can you blame me?
05:36I was young, handsome, needed the money.
06:03You as well, madame.
06:05Yes.
06:05One great big churn of milk.
06:11My husband's away.
06:13Maybe you could fill my jugs.
06:18From here?
06:21Better come in then.
07:00Oh, no.
07:02Better get out of these wet things.
07:04Better get out of these wet things.
07:06Oh, no, no, no, no.
07:10Yeah.
07:11Better get out of these wet things.
08:34Don't you think that by participating in hardcore pornography, you are reinforcing the idea of women as sexual objects for
08:42men to abuse and degrade?
08:49I'm not sexist of any kind. I love women. I don't care if they're short, tall, black, white. For example,
09:01I'm quite into fat birds at the moment.
09:03Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. You, you, my mini-vego. Thank you. Love you. My
09:09mini-vego, you, not you.
09:11Tyrannosaurus rex. The most feared dinosaur of its time. Fast, strong, and deadly. A predator without peer.
09:22Wow. Thank you.
09:23And as you can see, it also had a 15-foot penis.
09:29This doll is fantastic. It's really, really doll.
09:32Hello, pussycats. Yeah, it's me, Smita Smitten, showbiz kitten. Three out of ten cat owners can't believe I'm not butter.
09:41And welcome to my brand new pilot show, Smita's Street Date, where I'm going to find a boyfriend for Sunita
09:48here, who's very obviously gagging for it.
09:52Oh, see anybody who fancies, sweetie? Oh, he's a bit of four, right? Leave it your kittenish, Cupid here. Excuse
09:59me, sir. One minute, please. Hang on. Oh, hello. Well, hello.
10:05Yes, are you, um, rich, witty, single, straight? Yes, to all of those things, of course. Oh, wow, great. Great.
10:14Fancy a date, then?
10:15Oi. Oh, come on, Sonny. I can put my leg behind my ear, you know.
10:18Oh, look. Come on, and I can throw three fur balls to fun. Just give me a chance. Please, give
10:24me a chance.
10:27Shh.
10:31Wait up.
10:37Wow. This is amazing, Dad. The most famous painting in the world. It's inspiring, isn't it?
10:44Inspiring? Of course it's inspiring. Because it's Indian.
10:48No, Dad, not the Mona Lisa. She was an Italian noblewoman from the 16th century.
10:54Son, this is Mina Lossa.
10:59Aguicharati, watch your woman from Bhavnagar.
11:01No!
11:02Yes. Look at the expression on her face. What is she thinking?
11:06She is contemplating the irony of her situation, asking us whether we are observers of all years.
11:13Rubbish! She's asking, how much is this painter charged? Because my brother can get cheap paint.
11:18Why would Leonardo da Vinci go all the way to Bhavnagar to paint someone?
11:22Because it's quite near where he lived.
11:24Florence!
11:25Free the bath!
11:28Leonardo's not Indian, Dad.
11:29Of course he is, son. Now, look at this one.
11:31What? The Last Supper?
11:33Ah. Twelve men sitting around the table for dinner.
11:36Sir, where are the women?
11:40They're in the kitchen!
11:43He's a Renaissance artist!
11:46Renaissance artists are famous for being Italian.
11:49Donatello, Raphael, Titian.
11:52Kashmiri, Punjabi, Gujarati.
11:54These are all great artists. Indian.
11:57Rubbish!
11:57Not rubbish. What about Picasso?
12:00Spanish!
12:00Indian. You've seen his portraits.
12:02A nose here, an ear there.
12:05Go to Delhi and look at the beggars. They look exactly the same.
12:09Look, and here's another one.
12:11That's Lowry. He's British.
12:13Come on, y'all. Think about it.
12:15Matchstick men.
12:16With matchstick arms and legs. How much more Indian can you get?
12:21What about Ruben?
12:23Fat women. Indian.
12:24Botticelli?
12:25Fat kids. Indian.
12:27Michelangelo?
12:28Ah. The painter of the Sistine Tandoori.
12:32You mean the Sistine Chapel?
12:35Tandoori!
12:36Only an Indian restaurant would have a ceiling painted like that.
12:39No, no, no, no, no. Look, Dad. Look.
12:41The Statue of David.
12:43Are you telling me that this, the representation of the physical male perfection, is Indian?
12:50No. Not Indian.
12:57Glenn v. Tracy. Tracy, meet Glenn. Let's play family favourites.
13:01We asked 100 people, what's your favourite sexual position?
13:05This doll is fantastic.
13:10Okay, listen up, men.
13:13This woman had 15 sons.
13:1714 of them have been killed in action.
13:21The army's decided to bring her last one home, and it's up to us to find him.
13:25What's his name, Sarge?
13:29Private Narayan.
13:34Nah, nah, forget it.
13:37Okay.
13:38Easy on it.
13:52Happy anniversary to you.
13:53Oh, congratulations.
13:55How long is it now?
13:56Long enough to keep her happy.
13:59It's what, seven years now?
14:01Yeah, we've been together, what, eight years next month?
14:04Oh, really? Are you having a party?
14:06Yeah, it's going to be totally wild.
14:07Line dancing and Tupperware BBQ again?
14:09Yep.
14:09Don't forget your Stitsons.
14:11Oh, I won't.
14:12Oh, um, sorry, do you know where I could put my coat?
14:16Oh, welcome, uh, new blood.
14:18Oh, have you got a drink?
14:19Yeah, sorry, whose wife are you?
14:21Oh, um, I'm not married.
14:28The minute I walk in the room, I can see the aunties all run for cover.
14:36They say to each other, they say to each other, that jungly in the trampy clothes.
14:42She smokes and drinks and seems to sense from what they are not.
14:46They think, cause I'm smart.
14:48She's a dad.
14:49And when that husband's chat me up, that's I don't mind.
14:55Hey, me, sister.
14:59Just cause I am single, I ain't blind.
15:11She must be stupid or gay.
15:14But wouldn't you be if you'd only had offers from complete not-a-tossers?
15:21Fat lawyers, shady boys, pharmacists and men in wigs who just call me.
15:28Oi!
15:29I don't want to spend one more night with men who've popped their cork before.
15:35I've shut the door.
15:38Hey, me, sister.
15:42That has never happened to me before.
15:47Yeah, right.
15:49I may be married to a jut, jut, jut.
15:54But at least I'm not a slut, slut, slut.
15:58Keep away because it might be catching.
16:03Chipping with four, a bag of pork scratching.
16:07So let me get right to my point.
16:10I ain't looking for convenient shoddy to no suitable Punjabi.
16:17Smug married, give me the blues.
16:20All those hinky-doos with tougher wearing, tougher big shoes.
16:25I know that I'd much rather try to be on my own than with the wrong guy.
16:32Hey, Vick Spencer.
16:36Hey, Vick Spencer.
16:38Hey, Vick Spencer.
16:40Hey, Vick Spencer.
16:42Let me, Vick Spencer.
16:45Only real men need apply.
16:56You know, I really hate the way the British are so inhibited.
16:59I mean, I'm a really tactile sort of person.
17:03Great.
17:09Check, please.
17:11How do I look, Dad?
17:13Oh, beautiful, beautiful, huh?
17:16Now, your future mother-in-law is very, very traditional.
17:20So you have to behave yourself while we discuss your wedding plans, huh?
17:24Don't worry.
17:26Only the best for my betty, huh?
17:28Now, where are those earrings she bought you?
17:30Oh, Dad, I don't like them.
17:32She'll ask about them.
17:34Here they are.
17:35Put them on, put them on, huh?
17:47No problem finding the place, huh?
17:49No, no, no.
17:50Parking, everything, okay?
17:52Very good, very good, very good.
17:57This is my son.
17:59Very handsome.
18:02And this is my daughter.
18:05Nice earrings.
18:07Better, better, better, better, better, better, better.
18:15Dimphu, get some tea.
18:17Oh, no, no, no, no need.
18:19I made this at home for nothing.
18:23Now, about the wedding.
18:25Yes.
18:26Do you have any thoughts on the venue?
18:28Yes.
18:28I thought, we'll make it at home for nothing.
18:32Mom.
18:34What do you know about it, huh?
18:36You sit there with your Calvin Decline chuddies.
18:39And your hair gel.
18:41You think weddings are all free booze and fancy gifts and come on, Eileen.
18:46And there's no need to hire a horse for the bridegroom to arrive on while our dog is still alive.
18:52Are you sure that this is going to be all right?
18:54Yes, of course.
18:56Why waste money, hmm?
18:58When you can make it at home for nothing.
19:00Now, I thought as a bridal outfit, I would give your daughter this sari, which my mother gave to me
19:08on her deathbed.
19:11Nani Ma's not dead yet.
19:13We're planning for August.
19:15A lot can happen.
19:18We'll need outside caterers, obviously.
19:21No.
19:21I will be making the traditional wedding aubergine.
19:26What about a pundit?
19:27Oh, well, of course we will need a pundit.
19:30Ah, that's a relief.
19:31I'm glad we agreed on some things, you know.
19:33It is something sometimes it's good to keep traditional.
19:36Please, allow me to introduce you to Swami Sokhaji.
19:42Namaskar.
19:43Dad, I'm scared.
19:45These arrangements are completely absurd.
19:47I am not going to let you destroy my daughter's special day.
19:51But we haven't even discussed the dowry yet.
19:53Dowry?
19:54Dowry is for low-class villagers who are too ignorant to know any better.
19:58That's why we chose you.
20:00What?
20:01Look, my son is my pride and joy.
20:04And he is the most eligible bachelor in the whole of Hound's Law.
20:08While your daughter is a bit of an old boot.
20:12So, in exchange, we expect some goods of extreme value.
20:18I'm not listening.
20:19No, please.
20:20The dowry we expect from you.
20:23One small aubergine.
20:37You don't believe this.
20:39You can't walk down the street in your traditional clothes without being stared at.
20:43Hi.
20:44And they call this a tolerant society.
20:48You got a problem then?
21:01I'm Dave Gobby.
21:03Welcome to the Asian Shopping Channel.
21:06Your TikTok choice for all your Asian shopping needs.
21:09Well, let's go straight over to our makeup expert, Jazz, from the Khushboo Salon.
21:14Hello there and welcome, Jazz.
21:16Hi, Dave.
21:18Well, today I'm going to talk to you about Khushboo skincare products.
21:23Khushboo skincare products.
21:25That's right.
21:26Khushboo skincare products.
21:28We put the Asian back into sensational.
21:32That is a treat to give our ladies the wheatish complexion every low-caste woman wants.
21:39And everyone expects if he's thinking of marrying you.
21:43Excellent.
21:43And which one is it that you're wearing?
21:49What's that?
21:49No, no, no, I'm not wearing anything.
21:51I'm a natural redhead.
21:53The brown bits are just freckles.
21:56Okay.
21:57What have you got for us today?
21:59Right.
21:59Well, we have fair and fancy face cream.
22:03For those of you who are a bit Cadbury's cocoa.
22:06For those who shade is more too dark to get a dance, we have Kohlslag cover-up.
22:14We also have Tan Begone, Brown B...
22:17Hooray!
22:18Yes, yes, that's excellent.
22:19Why don't we just see some of this in action?
22:22We have our resident model here, Madhu.
22:25Hi, Madhu.
22:26Hi.
22:26Hi.
22:27I need a makeover because I'm getting married next week.
22:31Oh, there's hope for us all, then.
22:35Yes, I guess I am quite dark, but I'll just have what you're wearing.
22:42But what's that, then?
22:44Yes, well, Jazz, let's see what you can do with the shadow here.
22:49Jazz, welcome.
22:51Okay.
22:54Now, remember that the entire Khushbu skincare range is available at competitive prices.
23:00The Khushbu starter kit comes complete with bleach, wire brush, and sterile dressing.
23:06Let's see how they're getting off.
23:12Sterile!
23:15Well, Madhu, what do you think?
23:19Wow!
23:20Wow!
23:22Kidney kubsoorat!
23:24That's amazing!
23:28Well done, Jazz.
23:29Fantastic job.
23:31Thanks for coming in.
23:33I'm a natural reshead, you know.
23:40Now, this is much better.
23:41Better than all the filth that's on the television.
23:44Good family game, and also educational.
23:47Ha!
23:48It's yoga!
23:52This doll is fantastic!
23:54It's really wonderful!
23:55Where did you get it from?
23:56I'd always aim for the roof of the mouth.
24:00Oh, your tie's crooked.
24:02Well, you've got a big nose and a fat arse, haven't you?
24:12Come in, come in!
24:14Dennis, look who it is!
24:16Ah!
24:17Sarita!
24:19It's Sinjin, actually, Dennis.
24:25let me take your brook Dennis where are your manners grab Vanessa's muff
24:35that's not a muff you silly sword yes Charlotte it's not a muff you stupid dart it's a dog
24:57yes well we British love our animals yes we do yes we do this is lady Penelope underskirt gobbler
25:08the third I say Vanessa that's a bit of a mouthful isn't it that's why I call her pinky
25:17shall we sit down oh downing downing sitting sitting sitting down no English household is
25:25complete without a pet they say yes and um you don't have any do you Charlotte we're British
25:33of course we do we have um gerbils yes they're very sweet and we love them like our own children
25:44like your own children more than our own children no water gerbils you know Dennis our furry little
25:52friends oh yes we have hundreds of them hundreds yes they live under the floorboards and they eat all
26:07the rubbish I give them a bit of cheese in a trap what we British won't do for our pets
26:14eh yes quite
26:15right so must be quite a handful looking after that little chap it's a bitch but surely you'll get
26:22used to it after a while eh no no no it's a little girl doggy oh are you planning on
26:30breeding her oh no
26:31no no no um we've had her fixed so she can't have any babies how spade yeah that will do
26:40it yes I I use a shovel on the bloody
26:44yeah yeah they're a very small target you know yeah yeah Dennis you wag he loves animals really oh really
26:54yes well perhaps he'd like to hold her then ah I don't think that's a good idea all through day
27:03oh come on Dennis don't you want to hold my little pinky I really don't think I really do think
27:12you
27:12should hold her darling if you ever want to hold anything again oh sorry okay now don't be frightened she
27:21won't buy a horse and she does all her business in the garden now and what about the dog oh
27:27oh right well um don't make any sudden movements if she gets nervous she tends to have little
27:38accidents she's not the only one excuse me Dennis well perhaps you better rub his nose in it
27:47or maybe put down a litter tray in the kitchen oh change your mind old chappy may I oh of
27:56course one
27:57hand on the body that's it I need to make friends after all then no I run out of toilet
28:03paper actually
28:05you
28:05you
28:05you
28:51Darling?
28:56This doll is fantastic!
29:02Good Dutch gracious me!
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