Goodness Gracious Me brought iconic British-Asian comedy to TV with hilarious sketches, unforgettable characters, and sharp cultural satire 😂🔥 From “Going for an English” to legendary family moments, the show became a comedy classic that still feels ahead of its time. A true gem of British television and South Asian humor 🇬🇧🇮🇳
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00:25Good
00:36There you go Mama, candles on your cake, do you want to blow them out now?
00:44Blow out the candles, yes of course I would.
00:52Well then Mama, whenever you're ready.
00:57Oh sorry, you really want me to do it.
01:01Oh silly me.
01:02Sorry Mama.
01:03No, no please.
01:05I have chronic asthma, there are 73 candles to extinguish.
01:09So blowing out candles is what I obviously do best.
01:13Yes.
01:14Okay Mama, you don't want to blow the candles out.
01:16No, no, I want to, I'm dying to.
01:20Shall I actually blow or will the phlegm from my bronchitis be sufficient?
01:26Okay Mama, forget the candles, why don't we open some of the presents?
01:30Oh yes let's shall, we can't wait.
01:33Oh look Mama, an electric blanket.
01:37It was all Ravi's idea.
01:39Yes Ravi, you really shouldn't have bothered.
01:43Oh it was nothing Mama.
01:44And I believe you Ravi.
01:48I'm glad you like it Mama.
01:51You do like it don't you?
01:54Can't you see me jumping for joy?
01:57Okay, more presents.
01:59Oh look, a lovely show on Mama.
02:02Oh, how incredibly marvellous.
02:04Oh wow, a video camera.
02:08Wow, lucky me.
02:11Look Mama, Nicky has drawn you a lovely picture.
02:15Well, that'll be useful won't it?
02:18Mama will you please stop this?
02:20Stop what?
02:21Making fun of, you know.
02:25I'm sorry.
02:27I've ruined it for you and the children haven't I?
02:30I tell you what, I'll go out right now
02:33and get some extra special presents for everybody just to make it up.
02:38Oh Mama, will you really?
02:42Well I bollocks.
02:55How many times do I have to tell you lot?
02:58Go and play in the bloody park!
03:09Okay, I call this meeting of the Indian Broadcasting Corporation to order.
03:13I've invited you all down here today to introduce you to our new head of ethnic minority programming,
03:17Mr. John Britt.
03:19Hi.
03:20Hello.
03:21John will be making sure that our representation of English people will be tickety-boo.
03:29Tickety-boo.
03:30Yeah, yeah, that's right.
03:31And I've got a few suggestions.
03:33Well, glad to hear that you've settled in alright.
03:35I call this meeting...
03:36Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
03:38I'm actually finished.
03:40Oh God, here we go.
03:42Now, I really do feel that the British community in India is totally underrepresented in the media here.
03:49Now, hang on a minute.
03:50I have to disagree right.
03:51You've got that weekly magazine programme.
03:54What's it called?
03:55Network West.
03:56Yeah, Network West.
03:58I mean, I saw a brilliant item on last week's show.
04:01The Morris Dancers of Ambala.
04:02I think it's bankra with traditional British brass band music.
04:09Yeah, but it was on at 6 o'clock on a Sunday morning.
04:12Why do they get up so early?
04:14Huh?
04:15Walk the dog, I think.
04:17Look, look, look.
04:18In any case, we're not all Morris Dancers, you know.
04:21That's just a stereotype.
04:22And why is it whenever we see a Brit on TV, he's either a tourist or a diplomat?
04:28And why can't we play doctors?
04:30Or, I don't know, shopkeepers?
04:32Oh, come on.
04:34I mean, when was the last time you saw a white doctor?
04:37Anyway, what about those two characters in the long-running soap opera West Enders?
04:41Oh, yeah!
04:43Rita!
04:43The baby crying!
04:46Singjen, stop sleeping with my sister!
04:48Do, do, do, do, do, do, do!
04:54What about giving us a season of English film?
04:57Oh my God.
04:58Man, I got to ask you, has anybody actually seen an English film?
05:02No.
05:02I mean, what are they all about, eh?
05:04Uh, I saw one once.
05:06Remains of the Day.
05:08Couldn't believe it.
05:09Right?
05:09Only two hours long.
05:11Right?
05:11No dancing.
05:17Well, they can't, can they?
05:20Alright, alright, alright.
05:22What about an all-British comedy show?
05:29British comedy?
05:31Are they funny?
05:33Oh, the accent's quite funny, no?
05:35No, no, no, that's right, that's right.
05:36You say anything in an English accent, it's bound to get a laugh.
05:39Jolly quite right.
05:45We're tired of being marginalised and exploited and reduced to farcical stereotypes, okay?
05:52Now, we want change, and we want it now.
05:57Okay, John, I think I have a proposal that will satisfy us all.
06:05Well, that's, that's great.
06:08I propose we cut your budget by 50%, lay off three quarters of your staff, and relocate the ethnic minority
06:14unit to just outside Jalandhar.
06:17Hang on a second!
06:18And we will also be extending your contract for life.
06:23That sounds perfect.
06:24Welcome to India.
06:25Thank you very much.
06:25Have a pardon.
06:38Ah, tripping of the colour.
06:41Great.
06:42Huh.
06:42The Queen looks nice, doesn't she?
06:44Nice?
06:45Of course nice.
06:46Because she's Indian!
06:48Not the Queen!
06:50Not the Queen!
06:50All of them!
06:50The whole royal family, Indian!
06:51What are you talking about?
06:53Oh, think about it, yaar!
06:54Huh?
06:54Descended from Queen Victoria.
06:56Empress of India, so Indian!
06:58Rubbish!
06:58Not rubbish!
07:00Look at them!
07:00Huh?
07:01They all live in the same family house together, Indian!
07:04All work in the family business, Indian!
07:07All have arranged marriages, Indian!
07:10They all have sons!
07:12Daughters no good, Indian!
07:13But Dad!
07:14Children live with their parents until they are married, Indian!
07:17Dad!
07:17Dad!
07:18What more do you want?
07:18You want them to put on turbans and jump snakes out of baskets?
07:21But Dad!
07:22Harry!
07:23Wills!
07:24Fergie!
07:24They're all Indian!
07:25All except Prince Charles!
07:28He's African!
07:32What?
07:34If he was Indian, he'd have smaller years!
07:42And now that Mike and Karen are finally man and wife, two loving souls joined together
07:48by God, will you join with me in giving them a big good luck cheer?
07:54Well, I bollocks!
08:00Are you funny?
08:01You know, you've got a terrific sense of humour!
08:03Oh, thank you!
08:04Well, I suppose it's just as well with you being so ugly and all!
08:13Check, please!
08:16On me head, on me head, son!
08:19I messed up my headgear!
08:21Sorry, man!
08:22All right, half time, man!
08:23I've got to redefine my headgear!
08:25Oh!
08:26Hey!
08:27Are you going to the Old Trafford on Saturday?
08:30Of course I'm going, man!
08:31I thought it was sold out!
08:33I thought it was sold out!
08:34It's all right, man!
08:35My Uncle Devinder's a travel agent!
08:38He got me one of them sports packages!
08:41Includes coach from Southall to Manchester!
08:45With a five-day stopover in Wolverhampton!
08:49Does that include match tickets?
08:52Bloody Uncle Bastard!
08:53Unlucky, geezer!
08:55Unlucky!
08:56Now, kiss my chatties, man!
08:58I'll get a ticket at the away supporters' end!
09:00The allocation is sold out!
09:03Man, you're talking about the white man's ticket allocation!
09:06There's still the Asian ticket allocation!
09:08What's that, then?
09:09Five per game!
09:12Cool!
09:13How come there's no more than five Asians at a football match, man?
09:16Ah!
09:17The age-old question!
09:19The answer is simple!
09:20There are two reasons!
09:22First of all,
09:22Ain't no way the Asians are going to eat the crap they serve at football grounds!
09:25I mean, I can't see my dad eating no meat pie!
09:29Not until they start to define it more clearly!
09:32And maybe throwing some coriander in it!
09:35Good point, man!
09:35I mean, I can't see my Auntie Bimbala getting a gob round of cold jumbo sausage!
09:49What, what, what, what, what, what, what?
09:51What's the second reason, man?
09:54The second reason is this, right?
09:56If you go football every Saturday,
09:58who's going to look after the shop?
10:00Yeah!
10:02I never thought that!
10:05So, who did you support in the World Cup?
10:08What are you all about now?
10:10I mean, did you support England or did you support France because they won?
10:16Man, that is a stupid question.
10:18There was only one team to support.
10:20The team that represents the motherland of our culture, our language, our way of life.
10:25India won't be, man.
10:26Why India? I'm talking about Jamaica.
10:29Ciao!
10:31Ciao, man.
10:33Here's the reggae boy.
10:37Exactly my point, man.
10:38Plus their kit is sponsored by his royal bagginess, the one and only Joseph Bloggs Esquire.
10:44The master.
10:48Hey, why hasn't India got a team?
10:52Because Indians don't play football, man.
10:54What's that?
10:55Because of the ball, innit?
10:56What about it?
10:58Man, it's made of leather, right?
11:01So your Hindu football team consists of 11 blokes trying not to touch the ball.
11:07That is not a good tactic.
11:10What they should have is a pork ball for the Hindu team and give the beef ball to the Muslim
11:16team.
11:17Slalom, I can't both, man.
11:20And for internationals, they could use a veggie ball.
11:22Not like a pumpkin or a big swede.
11:25Or a coconut.
11:27Yeah, on me head.
11:33Danny!
11:34Danny!
11:46Morning, love.
11:46Three singles into town, is it?
11:48No! I thought I'd buy tickets for everybody on the bus and walk the five miles to town on my
11:53own!
11:55Right you are then.
12:06Will you please be quiet in future?
12:10Will I bollock?
12:14Most men don't see things from a woman's point of view.
12:17You are so right.
12:19That's why I try to think about what it's like to be a woman.
12:23That's very refreshing.
12:25That's why I'll wear my mother's underwear, innit?
12:33Checkies!
12:39Basically, our marriage has been under a strain for a while now.
12:42Strain, that's right.
12:44We've been arguing, bickering...
12:47Squabbles. We've had squabbles.
12:49And what do you think is the reason for this discord?
12:53Well, see we come from a traditional background, so for the last twelve years we've had his mother living here
13:01with us.
13:03She's not my mother.
13:05I thought she was yours.
13:08No.
13:11Wonder who she is then.
13:22Oh, you're here.
13:25Didn't know you were invited.
13:27Of course.
13:31Nice party, wonderful food.
13:34So-so.
13:35Very poor.
13:35Disgusting.
13:36I've already been sick.
13:39So, um, where is your son tonight?
13:43Doing his own thing, is he?
13:46Yes, I've heard he's very, uh, independent.
13:50What do you mean?
13:51Oh, nothing. I've just heard he's thinking of buying his own place and moving away from his parents even though
13:57he's not married.
13:59Very, uh, modern.
14:02You're wrong.
14:03You really shouldn't listen to all the gossip you hear.
14:07Down the betting shop.
14:09My son is not independent or modern.
14:12No, no, no, no. In fact, he's very old-fashioned and very dependent.
14:17Oh, really?
14:18Well, my son is married with children and he's still happy to live at home with me and rely on
14:23me for everything.
14:25Such a good boy.
14:26Well, Mike's son can't even boil an egg or tie his own shoelaces without my help.
14:31That's how dependent my son is.
14:32Oh, shoelaces?
14:34My son still wears those shoes with the Velcro straps.
14:39And if I'm not there to help him, he puts them on the wrong feet.
14:43Big deal.
14:45My son is so dependent that he cries every time he's hungry.
14:48And he eats his own snot.
14:52I'm still breastfeeding.
14:53Me too.
14:56And I have to go to his office at least three times a day to change his sticky little nappy.
15:00Aha! He goes to work.
15:04My son is a complete idiot.
15:07Totally useless and unemployable.
15:10His individuality utterly stifled by a suffocating blanket of maternal protectiveness
15:14that has rendered him unable to do anything except sit in a puddle of his own waste products while I
15:19mop up around him.
15:22Well, how big is his dunder?
15:23Yuck.
15:31G gamma!
15:35She came to camp, her name was Lucy Parker
15:38Her skin was white but she put Bertie Tarko
15:42That's why I
15:45Caught her eye
15:50We met in York, she was a first year student
15:53She wore a sari cause she brought it a frozen underline
15:59And then in 30 seconds time
16:02She said, I want to live like indie people
16:07I want to do whatever indie people do
16:11I want to sleep with indie people
16:14I want to sleep with indie people like you
16:19Well what else could I do?
16:22I smiled and said, do you want to fit the lid?
16:28I said I'd find a groovy gig and take her
16:32I love her but she said, do the shake and the music stops
16:37Just like go to shops
16:41She said, I want to live like indie people
16:46I want to eat whatever indie people eat
16:49I want to dress like indie people
16:52I want to wear many on my feet
16:57But she didn't understand
17:00You just paint it on your hands
17:05Hold your hair and be polite
17:09Do your homework every night
17:12Does my face have got my ball
17:15Do extremely well at school
17:19Take a medical degree
17:22Graduate at 73
17:25Put back in with my man's head
17:29Even though they try to
17:32Rave me back, you sure?
17:34You want to live like indie people
17:37You want to see whatever indie people see
17:41You want to live with indie people
17:44You want to watch your films built on CTV
17:48But you'll never comprehend
17:51Because for you it's just a trend
17:55Dressing up like indie people
17:58In your favourite Georgie
18:00Oh, so what?
18:02Dancing around with the Hindi people
18:04Telling me that you want a lancy dog
18:08But you'll never score with me
18:12Because I was born and come on a tree
18:17Come on a tree
18:21Oh, yeah
18:29Georgie?
18:32Pretty
18:32You're so right, Mama
18:35No, I'm not all right, actually
18:38I have a pain in my chest and I can't breathe
18:41Oh, there she goes again
18:43Oh, very funny, Mama
18:45You're dying and we're sitting here watching the news
18:48Yes, you are
18:49I need help
18:51Yeah, we've known that for ages, Mama
18:53Psychasm is the lowest form of wit, Mama
18:56Call me an ambulance
18:59Okay
19:01You're an ambulance
19:06Oh, my God
19:07She wasn't joking
19:08This time she's really collapsed
19:09Do something, Raveed
19:10Okay, okay
19:10You phone for an ambulance
19:12And I'll give a mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
19:14Oh, will you, Raveed?
19:16Well, I bollocks
19:24You know, with you, I can be myself
19:26Be natural
19:28I don't feel inhibited in any way
19:30How about you?
19:31Do you feel the same?
19:33Absolutely
19:33Brilliant
19:43Please
20:00hello boys and girls hello boys and girls let's say hello to the toys shall we yes let's there's
20:11humble big ted little ted and jemima jemima looks happy today yes she does that's because jemima
20:25got married today jemima got married why is she wearing a funny dress silly this is the height
20:35of fashion now and jemima wears it because she's converted to islam to marry a muslim we don't know
20:42any muslims do we yes we do brian can you guess who it is which of our little friends have
20:49we not
20:50met today yes humpty say hello humpty i didn't know you were a muslim you used to be such a
21:02naughty boy
21:02yes he did but he's given up the alcohol in the nightclubs now because humpty doesn't hump
21:09around anymore he used to hump around didn't he didn't he hump humble that's right so why isn't
21:18he marrying humble because brian humble's daddy wasn't rich enough i see humble must be very upset
21:28she is brian in fact humble says that humpty is the father of her seven-year-old child
21:36i didn't know that humble had a seven-year-old child who did you think little ted was
21:52hi remember us the delhi students last year we presented rough guide to england
21:58this year we present great train journeys of the world
22:14you know a lot of people talk about the beauty of the katmandu northern express the journey across
22:21the roof of the world others speak in awe of the assam flyer weaving through the magical mist of the
22:27tarjeeling tea terraces but for me the most romantic train journey is the one i've traveled halfway across
22:34the world to experience the lts commuter line from fenchurch street to south end
22:43this train in fact is the 1630 from fenchurch street and it is now 1745 and we're just about to
22:50pull
22:51away from the station because time follows different rules in the developing world there's a phrase that's
22:57popular amongst local railway workers how's it going oh yeah oh it's not my fault mate i don't run the
23:03bloody place it sums up perfectly the more relaxed attitude in this part of the world
23:18although there was a primitive railway system in britain before the arrival of the asians
23:23it was under the indians and the pakistanis in the 1960s that the british railway system really
23:30flourished conditions were harsh in those days but fond memories remain here's a man who looks like he
23:38may have a few memories to share excuse me sir um do you have any memories of the arrival of
23:46the
23:46asians on the railway well i remember thinking they should all go home and now now i think they should
23:57go go home yes fond memories there
24:06we're now reaching the highest point of our journey i'll just read to you from the guidebook
24:13becton station a dizzying 12 feet above sea level dominating the skyline is the fabric capped peak
24:22of the becton artificial ski slope the landscape sweeps down to the fertile plains of the sainsbury saver
24:31center cooper incorporating mcdonald's room base and of course kentucky fried chicken
24:41as we pull into the station we're greeted by local colorful i think it's time for me to go native
24:50and
24:51attempt a little bartering i say what you're selling might crack you have some tea
25:07he's selling crack for many people along this route particularly on this unforgiving plane of
25:15beckon tree heat the railway is a lifeline the only contact with the outside world groups of cheering
25:22locals gather at the station eager to extend the customary greeting they give to all foreign visitors
25:29look packies get them
25:34crime is a real problem on these trains it's important to keep your money in a money belt at
25:41all times that's right there are thieves who prowl the corridors playing on unsuspecting travelers
25:49here comes one now
25:56the train appears to have broken down again this happens quite often for a variety of bizarre reasons
26:02mainly religious yes the people here believe the tree to be sacred so that even if one leaf falls onto
26:11the track the whole line is immediately shut down anyway this break gives us the chance to talk to some
26:18of
26:18the passengers here some of whom are obviously carrying goods to market oh excuse me are you on your way
26:26to
26:26market the language barrier is slowly breaking down
26:43and as we pass the majestic mud flats of the thames estuary
26:49we reach our journey's end appropriately enough in south end which of course ends in
27:00it's been a fascinating journey wonderful you know if you think about it it's been a journey through
27:08time as well as space yes it has and we've all learned something through our observations of the simple
27:19beauty of these people's lives and the encounters with the vast array of cultures so different from
27:25our own we are made acutely aware of how small and insignificant they all are
27:32action
27:33and the answers
27:35bye
28:18India.
28:24Good Dutch gracious me.
28:39You
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