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Chappelle's Show changed comedy forever πŸ˜‚πŸ”₯ Created by and starring Dave Chappelle, this groundbreaking sketch comedy series delivered unforgettable characters, sharp social satire, and some of the most quoted comedy moments in television history. A true comedy classic that remains influential years later.

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Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:03Why can he never stay faithful to one girl?
00:06Well that's the giveaway right there, girl.
00:09A black man wants a woman, he doesn't want a girl.
00:11Maybe that's why her man's not faithful to her.
00:13If she'd grow up and become a woman he could be faithful to her.
00:16But that's back from back in the day in Africa in the beginning
00:19when the white man went over there and saw the black man naked with his 12 wives.
00:24Because black men are used to having a lot of women.
00:25He saw us with, you know, 12 wives and so he ran back to America and made a law.
00:32If you marry more than one person I think they call it bigamy.
00:35And you have to break it down. Bigger than me.
00:48Can I ask you to move your chair for me a little bit?
00:51Back a little bit?
00:52Okay.
00:52And square it off at the desk if you don't mind.
00:55No, the other way, so the arm is up against the desk.
00:57Yeah, I do.
00:58And back a little bit.
00:59Cool, thank you.
01:02Still speeding.
01:03Okay, set?
01:04Yep.
01:04Here we go Paul.
01:06I just wanted to know why do black men only make the right pimps?
01:08Why are black men only suitable to be pimps?
01:13That's already very funny.
01:17Black men are suitable to be pimps?
01:19Well, you should have asked the white woman.
01:21I mean, that's the question to ask the white woman.
01:22Because he seems to be doing a lot of pimping with the white lady.
01:25So the question's kind of reversed.
01:27But the biggest pimp I've ever known was a white pimp.
01:29And he drove a Volkswagen.
01:32And he was pimping everybody.
01:35I think you guys called it the President.
01:51Happy thoughts.
01:54Daddy.
01:55Here we go.
01:56Okay.
01:59Why we black people like to smoke so much weed?
02:01Can you tell me why?
02:05Well, I have a question for that nigga.
02:06Well, where are your teeth, nigga?
02:09Because it's funny.
02:10When I see black people with no teeth, it cracks me up.
02:12But I think black people like to smoke weed because they're so depressed about not working.
02:17So they just get a blunt and try to get high and forget.
02:21But it's very sad because most people that I know that smoke weed, I don't do drugs.
02:24Most people that I know, they forget a lot.
02:27And I love that commercial on marijuana that used to be on.
02:30When they came out and said about your memory.
02:33They said, I smoke it and I don't forget.
02:36What was I talking about?
02:37That's some funny stuff.
02:39I guess it all depends on what kind of herb you speak.
02:42I mean, I'm not into any kind of drugs.
02:44So I don't have an answer for that.
02:46I think black people just like to party.
02:48They have that in their blood.
02:51And sometimes they can go overboard and it's real sad.
02:53And don't ask me about drugs.
02:55Ask Whitney and Bobby.
02:56Don't ask me.
03:20That's kind of a trick question.
03:21I thought it was, what's the movie?
03:24White men jump?
03:26White men can't.
03:27What was it?
03:28White men can't jump or was it?
03:29Yeah, something like that.
03:30But I always said that I thought they don't have to because they own the teams.
03:36They let the black people jump.
03:37Yeah, black people can jump high.
03:38You've got to jump.
03:39You've got to do something when you're running from the police.
03:57This is a walk while you walk like this.
03:59There we go.
04:01I ask you why you work like this, huh?
04:04Only, almost, only black guy, why?
04:07Why do you?
04:08I'm sorry, hold on.
04:09I'm sorry.
04:12I'm sorry.
04:13Well, you know, this is for me, don't do anything.
04:16Work like this, huh?
04:18Only, almost, only black guy.
04:20Why?
04:27Okay, here we go.
04:31I ask you why you work like this, huh?
04:33Only, almost, only black guy, why?
04:37I want to ask the question, why do you have all these people with these deep accents?
04:41Why you like, like, you learn anything from 9-11?
04:45I want to see his passport.
04:48Damn, the question, I mean, let's, where is he from?
04:51Why do you work like, why do you like?
04:53No, that's too much for me.
04:55Black people walk like that because we have style, we got flavor, we got rhythm.
04:59I mean, the black man in America is the most copied man on this planet, bar none.
05:05Everybody want to be a nigga, but nobody want to be a nigga.
05:07How about that question?
05:13The colonel's a nigga now.
05:14The colonel's a nigga now.
05:15He didn't know it's so much chicken.
05:16He's a nigga now.
05:18Cal Challen just admitted she was a nigga.
05:20The rest of them need to break down and admit it too.
05:34Be careful.
05:35Good to talk to you for more.
05:36I will.
05:53black people want to go to black dentists and to black people want to get buried by black
06:02undertakers that's funny stephen king he almost said nigga i read between him
06:08do black people want to go to black dentists well maybe so i don't know maybe they do want to
06:12go to
06:12black undertaker but i mean what's the difference when you're dead they don't care who buries you i
06:16mean what difference does it make once you're dead you're dead you're out of here whether it's black
06:20undertakers or black dentists i always thought dentists were dentists i wasn't into black and
06:25white dentists please they can fix the teeth cool they can't that's cool too that's kind of a weird
06:31question and coming from stephen king that was very strange it must be david it must be your choice
06:37it was weird he must be a friend of yours i have the horror man come on and ask the
06:41question about
06:42a nigga that was already scary i've wrote a script for stephen king i have a stephen king horror movie
06:48nigga with a brain we'll see how that scared people or niggas in school how about that stephen
07:10all right this is uh this is d snyder with the dicks yeah
07:23are older dicks really big or are some small some big is it a mixed bag or we just assume
07:30they're all hung like horses that's funny too the biggest white boy was the biggest dick is dead
07:37that's john holmes you get out of here quick that's a whole nother story but i guess brothers
07:44do i mean brothers are packing they seem to be packing i guess that's the way of the world
07:52that's why you have so many mixed couples white girl ain't that crazy how does the old saying go
07:58once you go black you don't come back if you go white you go running back to black ain't that
08:03the way it
08:03goes
08:09it happens that way wasn't mariah carey married to a white man and then they divorce
08:15she was hopping on black chairs she went crazy when she got away from him
08:28one more yeah i've always wondered why black guys shave their heads i mean it just seems that
08:40they have great hair and i could never figure out why so many of them shave their heads
08:49i think bald heads are like a backlash of white people with hair in their face
08:54we just got sick of white people throwing their hair back
08:57so the first bald-headed man i seen was a white man that was yura brenner
09:00and then uh kojak was bald-headed i mean so the white people kind of made bald heads famous first
09:06and then the brothers just took it over and went crazy with it but it's good
09:10because it saves the haircuts because the haircuts were getting too much see the niggas ain't that
09:14dumb haircuts was costing too much so they said no we're just gonna go bald and break up all this
09:19bull so now they got spray for the shine they try to double back and make some money
09:25but bald heads it's it's a it's a fad that's all it's just a fad but everybody shouldn't wear a
09:29bald head because some niggas got some ears that it's too scary
09:34and they don't even see it they just think it's a style everybody cannot wear a bald head
09:37let's be realistic not everybody if a few of us can but not everybody can wear a bald head it
09:43can
09:44be very very scary nigga grow your hair today cover up them ears but then there are those who've had
09:51ear jobs you guys don't even get into that i can name them but i won't do that they'll get
09:54mad at me
09:54they've had those ears clipped
09:58so you know it's just a fair now white folks wear bald heads too you know they're not gonna let
10:02a
10:03nigger have nothing we wore naturals they took that they take everything they took tina turner
10:08they took michael jackson they took james brown they gave him back who else they take
10:16liney ritchie oh they'll take stuff from you
10:21can we think anybody else they took
10:22because they will take they will they won't let us have too much fun
10:26that's what i told some black people the other night at my show i said don't get
10:29i said don't get too fond of me because white folks come in and take me
10:34they only want niggas to have a little bit of fun
10:37i get to talking some mess on your show
10:38they'll take your show they'll fix you too
10:42if you have too much fun so if you're black and you're around white folks don't have too much fun
10:45just grin a little bit don't grin all the time nigga
10:49so just keep your head shaved keep bald heads
10:52and hey i think bald heads are cool
10:55ll got a bald head who else got a bald head help me out
10:58yeah they all got bald yeah they all have bald heads
11:02i was surprised clinton didn't get a bald head
11:14okay all right good any other words of wisdom you want to give us
11:17well there's no more questions no no is there any more questions
11:22yeah we'll get you some more
11:24who made up the questions
11:25huh i can hear you who made up the questions
11:29who yeah i remember you were talking about that who made up the questions
11:32these questions no i said it's probably a combination of david and the white writer i'm sure
11:37no no it's these people
11:40those people didn't make up this for you
11:43every single one
11:44those people made up every one of those well you should have had them all arrested
11:48yeah that's exactly what i told you
11:51you didn't tell them to say this not a single word
11:54i just said we have a team of black and they start asking
11:59that's then it's funny as hell then it's even funnier
12:02but i'm afraid to get beat up and it is
12:04that is very funny including stephen king
12:06including stephen he was coming out of a restaurant
12:08bobcat directed this so bobcat was with us we know stephen
12:12and so he asked the uh
12:14that's a damn
12:15but the name was true okay that's then it's even funnier
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