Black Adder is pure British comedy gold 😂 From Rowan Atkinson’s legendary sarcasm to the chaotic historical disasters, every season delivers iconic humor, savage wit, and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s medieval schemes, royal disasters, or war-time satire, Black Adder remains one of the greatest comedy series ever made. 🇬🇧🔥
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00:28Satsang with Mooji
00:37Right, Mory, let's try again, shall we?
00:40This is called adding.
00:42If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans,
00:48what do I have?
00:49Some beans.
00:52Yes, and no.
00:55Let's try again, shall we?
00:56I have two beans, then I add two more beans.
00:59What does that make?
01:00A very small casserole.
01:03Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this.
01:08Now try again.
01:09One, two, three, four.
01:12So how many are there?
01:14Three.
01:15What?
01:15And that one.
01:17Three, and that one.
01:19So if I add that one to the three, what will I have?
01:22Oh, some beans.
01:25Yes.
01:26To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?
01:31Edmund, Edmund, come quickly.
01:32The Queen wants to see you.
01:33What?
01:34I said, Edmund, Edmund, come quickly.
01:36The Queen wants to see you.
01:37What are you wearing around your neck?
01:39Ah, it's my new ruff.
01:41You look like a bird who swallowed a plate.
01:44It's the latest fashion, actually, and as a matter of fact, it makes me look rather sexy.
01:48To another plate-swallowing bird, perhaps, if it was blind and hadn't had it in months.
01:55I think you may be wrong.
01:56You're a sad, laughable figure, aren't you, Percy?
01:59What do you think of Percy's rough, Baldrick?
02:01Four.
02:02What?
02:03Some beans and some beans is four beans.
02:06No, we've moved on from advanced mathematics.
02:08We're on to elementary dressmaking.
02:09What do you think of Percy's rough?
02:12I think he looks like a bird who swallowed a plate, my lord.
02:14No, that's what I think.
02:16That's what I think.
02:17What do you think?
02:17Try to have a thought of your own, Baldrick.
02:19Thinking is so important.
02:20What do you think?
02:22I think thinking is so important, my lord.
02:24Thank you, my lord.
02:26I'm off to see the Queen.
02:27Oh, shall I come too, my lord?
02:28No, best not.
02:29People might think we're friends.
02:31Stay here with Baldrick.
02:33Bird neck and bird brain should get on like a house on fire.
02:38Grey, I suspect, Majesty.
02:40I think you'll find it was orange, Lord Melchard.
02:43Grey is more usual, ma'am.
02:47Who's Queen?
02:48Yes, Mr. Majesty.
02:50There were these magnificent orange elephants.
02:55Milady, do you wish to see me?
02:57Yes, Edmund.
02:58Lord Melchard has bad news.
03:00Lord Melchard is bad news, my lord.
03:04No, are you serious?
03:07Melchard.
03:08Unhappily, Blackadder,
03:10the Lord High Executioner is dead.
03:14Oh, whoa.
03:15Murdered, of course.
03:16Oddly enough, no, they usually are,
03:18but this one just got careless one night
03:20and signed his name on the wrong dotted line.
03:23They came for him while he slept.
03:24He should have told them they had the wrong man.
03:26No, he did, but you see, they didn't.
03:27They had the right man and they had the form to prove it.
03:30Bloody red tape, eh?
03:32And the bad news?
03:34The bad news is that actually there are simply hundreds of Catholics
03:38who desperately want their heads sneaked off
03:40and there's no one to organise it.
03:42Well, I pity the poor sod who gets the job.
03:44No one ever survives in more than a week.
03:45I have taken the liberty, ma'am,
03:48of drawing up a list of suitable candidates.
03:50I don't know if you...
03:51Oh, what?
03:51Oh, nice limit!
03:54List for the post of Lord High Executioner.
03:59Lord Blackadder.
04:08Right, then, let's take a look, shall we?
04:10Who's first into the headbasket, then?
04:12Admiral Lord Effingham and Sir Francis Drake on Monday.
04:18That should draw a crowd, hmm?
04:20No, sailing enthusiasts.
04:22Oh, yes.
04:23Better make sure there's a few anchors and things on the souvenir store.
04:27Aye, aye, sir.
04:29Never, ever try to be funny in my presence again, Percy.
04:33Right.
04:35Buckingham and Ponsonby on Friday.
04:38Wait a minute.
04:39Farrow on Wednesday.
04:40Who's Farrow when he's not having his head cut off?
04:43Uh, James Farrow.
04:44Pleasant bloke from Dorchester.
04:45Don't know him?
04:47Never will either.
04:50Yes, and he goes on Wednesday.
04:52Hmm.
04:53It's not right, though, is it?
04:54Well, no.
04:55I mean, now you come to mention it, my lord,
04:56there was absolutely no evidence against young Farrow at all.
04:59It was an outrageous travesty of justice.
05:01Now, it's not right he should be on Wednesday
05:03when we could stick him in on Monday and have half the week off.
05:07Er, see.
05:07Yes, that's right.
05:09Pop him in on Monday.
05:11Right, good.
05:12Five dead in two days.
05:13Not a bad start.
05:14Oh, yes, Percy, and the new rough.
05:16Better.
05:17Worse.
05:17Well, the passion today is towards the tiny.
05:20Well, in that case, Percy,
05:22you have the most fashionable brain in London.
05:26Right.
05:26Good morning, team.
05:28My name is Edmund Blackadder,
05:29and I'm the new minister in charge of religious genocide.
05:33Now, if you play straight with me,
05:35you'll find me a considerate employer.
05:37But cross me,
05:38and you'll soon discover
05:39that under this playful, boyish exterior
05:42beats the heart of a ruthless, sadistic maniac.
05:47Now, my man, you are?
05:48A jailer, sir.
05:49My lord.
05:50Good.
05:50Well done.
05:51And your name is?
05:51Ploppy, sir.
05:53Ploppy.
05:54Yes, sir.
05:55Ploppy the jailer.
05:56That's right, sir.
05:58Ploppy, son of Ploppy.
06:01Ploppy, son of Ploppy the jailer.
06:03Oh, no, sir.
06:05I am the first Ploppy to rise to be jailer.
06:08My father, Daddy Ploppy,
06:10was known as Ploppy the slopper.
06:13It was from him that I inherited
06:15my fascinating skin diseases.
06:17Yes, you are to be congratulated, my friend.
06:21We live in an age where illness and deformity
06:23are commonplace,
06:24and yet, Ploppy, you are without a doubt
06:26the most repulsive individual.
06:29I would shake your hand,
06:30but I fear it would come off.
06:33There's no many bosses
06:35would be that considerate, sir.
06:37Thank you, Ploppy.
06:38I do my best.
06:39Now then, woman,
06:41if indeed you are a woman,
06:43what is your function on death row?
06:45I'm the last meal cook, sir.
06:48The prisoners may ask me
06:49for what they fancy for their last meal.
06:52And you cook for them what they desire?
06:53Oh, yes, sir.
06:55Provided they ask for sausages.
06:58Otherwise, they tend to get
06:59a tiny bit disappointed.
07:01Sausage is all I got.
07:03You are clearly a woman
07:04of principle and compassion, mistress.
07:06Ploppy, sir.
07:07Oh, so you are married to...
07:09No, many people think that,
07:12but it's pure coincidence.
07:14We did laugh when first we found out.
07:18Good morning, mistress Ploppy,
07:20he'd say,
07:20and I'd say,
07:22good morning,
07:22Mr. Ploppy!
07:24Oh!
07:26Oh!
07:26Oh!
07:26The long winter evenings
07:28must just fly.
07:31Ah!
07:32And you must be the boy
07:33who makes the tea.
07:34No, no, no, no!
07:35No, sir!
07:36No, he's the executioner,
07:38but he does sometimes
07:39make the tea.
07:40Yes.
07:41And your name is?
07:42Aldrich, my lord.
07:44But I'll change it to Ploppy
07:45if it'll make things easier.
07:47No, thank you.
07:47I can cope with more than one name.
07:49What are you doing here?
07:50Well, it's a hobby.
07:52It would be more fun, sir,
07:55if he were to change his name
07:56and give the place
07:57a more family atmosphere.
07:59A family atmosphere?
08:00This is meant to be a place
08:01of pain and misery and sorrow.
08:03That's what I mean, sir.
08:04And mistress Ploppy's
08:06a bit of a social realist, sir.
08:09Now then,
08:10we're going to run
08:11a fast, efficient operation
08:12and I intend to do
08:13as little work as possible.
08:14My deputy, Percy Peer,
08:16will explain.
08:21Good afternoon, staff.
08:23My name is Lord Percy
08:26and if you play there by me,
08:28you will find me
08:29a considerate employer,
08:30but if you cross me,
08:32by Joke!
08:33Just tell him the plan, duck face.
08:35I'm not in front of the staff.
08:37Get on with it.
08:39Right, staff.
08:41As you know,
08:42we are scheduled to execute
08:43Drake and Effingham on Monday,
08:45Lord Farrow on Wednesday
08:47and Buckingham and Ponce
08:48a bit on Friday.
08:50But in order to give us
08:51the middle of the week off,
08:53Lord Blackadder has decided
08:54to move Farrow to Monday.
08:56Let's just say he's got time off
08:58for good behaviour.
09:04Your Majesty.
09:05Yes, Lady Farrow?
09:07My husband dies tomorrow.
09:09I beseech you,
09:10even if you cannot save his life.
09:12Which I don't think
09:13either of us would want,
09:14seeing as how he's a horrible traitor.
09:17Of course not, Your Majesty.
09:18But if he must die,
09:21may I see him?
09:22But of course.
09:25What's she asking me for?
09:26Why doesn't she just go along
09:28to the execution
09:29with everyone else?
09:30No, Majesty.
09:32I don't believe
09:32she wants to see him die.
09:34I believe she wants
09:35to see him before he died.
09:38God.
09:39Majesty.
09:40She's not seen him.
09:41I wouldn't marry someone
09:42I had never seen.
09:44She'll treat marriage
09:45a bit more seriously
09:46next time.
09:49Oh, come now, Lady Farrow.
09:52Crying isn't going
09:53to help your husband now.
09:54No.
09:56Ointment.
09:56That's what you need
09:57when your head's been cut off.
09:59That's what I gave your sister Mary
10:01when they done her.
10:02There, there, Ossie.
10:04You'll soon grow a new one.
10:06Shut up, Nazi.
10:07Of course you may see
10:09your husband, my dear.
10:10And if our holiday
10:11old Edmund tries
10:12to stop you,
10:13get him this.
10:15It's a warrant.
10:16Why is there an execution?
10:18Oh, thank you, Mum.
10:19May flights of angels
10:21sing you to your rest.
10:23Yes, I'm sure they will.
10:30Hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap, hap.
10:35So, they're all dead, are they?
10:37Yep, all three.
10:38Drake, Effingham.
10:40Farrow?
10:41Splendid.
10:41Any interesting last words?
10:43Well, Farrow was rather moving, my lord.
10:45A great strong man,
10:47he stood there gaunt and noble
10:49in the early morning mist
10:50and in a loud, clear voice
10:52he cried out,
10:53My wife might have bloody well turned up.
10:56She's probably shacked up
10:57with some new pair of tights already.
10:59Right.
11:00Well, unless Lord Percy has anything to add,
11:02you lot can amuse yourselves
11:03in whatever foul, depraved way
11:05you feel fit till Friday.
11:09Well, Staff, I've got a few notes on today's show.
11:12On the whole, I was impressed.
11:14They've gone, Percy.
11:18Team?
11:19Team?
11:21My lord, there is a lady outside to see you.
11:23Oh, is she pretty?
11:24I don't know.
11:25What do you think?
11:25I don't know, do I?
11:26I haven't seen her yet.
11:31Make yourself scarce, will it?
11:32Oh, well...
11:34Good evening, Lord Blackadder.
11:36Well, it certainly is now.
11:39Perhaps you'd like to
11:40slip into something more comfortable.
11:42No, my lord,
11:43for there is a great pain in my heart.
11:46It's probably indigestion.
11:47I'll soon take your mind off.
11:49It is my husband.
11:50Your husband's got indigestion.
11:52Well, he won't be bothering us, then.
11:54No.
11:55He dies tomorrow.
11:57Oh, come, you can't die of indigestion.
11:58You're over-dramatized.
12:00He is to be executed at your order.
12:03I am Lady Farrow.
12:05Ah.
12:06And what exactly did you want of me?
12:08I wish to see my husband tonight.
12:11Not really possible, actually.
12:15Excuse me, just say it.
12:17Greg!
12:18Lord!
12:18That farrow bloke you executed today,
12:20are you sure he's dead?
12:21Well, I chopped his head off.
12:22That usually does the trick.
12:23Yes, don't get clever with me, bald.
12:25I thought he might have
12:26locked up a leg or something by mistake.
12:28No, the thing I chopped off had a nose.
12:30Right.
12:31Yes, I'm so sorry.
12:32I've just been consulting my legal people
12:34and I'm afraid
12:35there really is no chance of a meeting.
12:37But the Queen told me it would be allowed.
12:39Really?
12:40Yes.
12:41And that if you said no,
12:42I should give you this.
12:49Fine, fine.
12:50Absolutely.
12:51Why not?
12:53Right, Aldrich,
12:54is that all clear?
12:56Yes.
12:57Um, I've killed someone
12:58I shouldn't have killed
12:59and now you want me to put a lady on my head
13:01and talk to his old bag?
13:02No, I want you to put a bag on your head
13:04and talk to his old lady.
13:06Why do I want a bag on my head?
13:08In order,
13:10nincompoop,
13:10that she should believe
13:11that you're her husband.
13:13Why, did he used to wear a bag on his head?
13:16Young, young Ploppy here
13:17has a point, my lord.
13:19Lord Farrell never wore a bag.
13:21He was an old-fashioned
13:23sort of a gentleman.
13:25Well, yes, my lord.
13:26I mean,
13:26I hadn't meant to mention it,
13:28but I have been wondering
13:29all along
13:30why you should think
13:31that Baldrick
13:31with a bag on his head
13:32is going to be a dead ringer
13:33for Lord Farrow
13:34because he's not.
13:36Look,
13:37quittins,
13:37the bag is there
13:39in order to obscure
13:40Baldrick's own features
13:41and many might think,
13:42incidentally,
13:42that that would be reason enough
13:43for him to wear it.
13:45Before I bring in Lady Farrow,
13:47I shall explain to her,
13:48inventing some cunningly plausible excuse
13:50that her husband
13:52has taken
13:52to wearing
13:53a bag.
13:55She can then chat to Baldrick,
13:57imagining him to be the man
13:57she married
13:58and the Queen
13:58need never know
13:59of my little miscalculation.
14:01Why, my lord,
14:01that is a brilliant plan.
14:03Foolproof.
14:03You're very kind.
14:04Although there is something
14:06lurking at the back of my head
14:08that bothers me.
14:09Probably a flea.
14:10Your lord,
14:11Lady Farrow,
14:12it's your pleasure.
14:13All right, okay.
14:14Go on.
14:16Ah, Lady Farrow.
14:19What a real pleasure
14:20it is to see you again.
14:21It is my beloved
14:22that I shall be pleased to see.
14:24Well, quite, quite.
14:25Though I should warn you
14:26that he, uh,
14:27he will not be quite
14:29as you knew him.
14:30You fiend!
14:31What have you done to him?
14:33We have put
14:33a bag over his head.
14:36Why?
14:37Well, the thing is,
14:38you see,
14:39none of the other prisoners
14:40have such shapely widows.
14:42Eh, wives,
14:43I do not know.
14:43And therefore,
14:44in the interests
14:45of the morale
14:45of the condemned community,
14:46your husband has nobly agreed
14:48to wear a bag.
14:49It was either that
14:50or have all the other prisoners
14:51in there with you.
14:53How like him
14:54to make such a gesture.
14:55Yes.
14:56Yes.
14:57Well, I'll just go check
14:59he's bagged up.
15:01Right, Baldus,
15:03this is it.
15:04My lord!
15:04What is it now,
15:06Ploppy?
15:06I have located
15:07my nagging doubt.
15:10It's a small point,
15:11but I do now recall
15:13that Lord Farrow
15:14was considerably taller,
15:16more than a yard taller
15:18than young Ploppy.
15:21If you want something
15:23that properly,
15:24you've got to do it yourself,
15:26haven't you?
15:26Anything else I should know?
15:27Oh, yes.
15:28He had a very deep voice.
15:30Big, deep, booming voice.
15:33So quite like mine, then?
15:34No, my lord.
15:34A big, deep, booming voice.
15:35Oh, mine's quite deep.
15:36Ah, not like his...
15:38And, in fact,
15:40Lord Farrow
15:41was taller
15:41even than you,
15:43my lord.
15:43Oh, a giant of a man.
15:44Yes, all right, all right.
15:45Don't rub it in.
15:46Percy, you'd better go
15:46and have another word with her.
15:50Go on, go on.
15:55Um, sorry about the delay, madam.
15:58As you know,
16:00you are about to meet
16:01your husband,
16:02whom you will recognise
16:03on account of the fact
16:04that he has got
16:05a bag over his head.
16:07Oh, I would know
16:08my darling anywhere.
16:09Well, yes,
16:10there are a couple
16:10of other things.
16:11I am prepared for the fact
16:13that he may have lost
16:14some weight.
16:15Yes.
16:16And some height.
16:19That's the interest
16:20interesting thing.
16:21You'll probably hardly
16:22recognise him at all, actually.
16:24You'll be telling me
16:25his arm's grown back next.
16:31Excuse, just for a sec.
16:35You've only got one arm!
16:39Oh, well, I'll just have
16:40to stick it inside the shirt.
16:41Which one?
16:43Which one?
16:44Which one?
16:48Um, um,
16:50how do we know
16:51you're his wife?
16:52What?
16:53Well, you know,
16:54you could be a gloater.
16:56I beg your pardon?
16:57You know, a gloater.
16:59Come to gloat
17:00over the condemned man.
17:02I mean,
17:02we're up to our ears
17:03in gloaters here.
17:04Can I come home
17:05for a gloat,
17:06they shout?
17:07Oh, you heartless gloaters!
17:11All right, all right, all right!
17:14Tell you what,
17:15I'll believe you're not a gloater
17:16if you tell me
17:18which arm he hasn't got.
17:21His left, of course!
17:22Now let me see my husband!
17:25Right!
17:26It's the left!
17:28Good luck!
17:29Gloaters,
17:29you really are a prat,
17:30aren't you, person?
17:32Right, now don't forget,
17:33in two minutes,
17:34you interrupt me, all right?
17:35And no more than two minutes,
17:36otherwise I'm in real trouble.
17:37And don't forget,
17:38because...
17:39Because we're not at home
17:41to Mr Cockup.
17:42Correct.
17:47Remember the voicemail.
17:49Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
17:52Enter.
17:55James?
17:55My darling.
17:57How are you?
17:58Oh, fine, fine.
18:00Food's not bad.
18:01Apart from the sausages.
18:03Your voice is somehow different.
18:06Oh, how?
18:07Somehow lighter.
18:09Not as deep nor booming
18:10as once it was.
18:12Is that better?
18:14Oh, my darling!
18:16Oh!
18:17Call me by that name
18:19you always called me
18:20to show your love is still strong.
18:23Ah, yes.
18:24Look, do you think
18:25that this is quite the time
18:26and the place
18:26for that sort of thing?
18:28Please.
18:30Um, this is the specific
18:32secret little name
18:33that I always used to call you.
18:34You want to be called it again,
18:36is that right?
18:36Yes.
18:37The one...
18:39The one like
18:40your little pumpkin.
18:41The one like
18:43your little pumpkin.
18:44Well, not actually
18:45your little pumpkin.
18:46No.
18:47Ah, no.
18:48Right then,
18:48my little...
18:49pumpkin-y-wump-kney.
18:51Oh, my darling!
18:53Ah!
18:53You're home!
18:55What's wrong with this?
18:55What happened to it?
18:57Well, I'm rather hurt.
18:58You don't remember yourself,
18:59in fact.
18:59But it was only
19:00cut off at the elbow.
19:01Ah!
19:02What happened to the rest?
19:04Ah, yes.
19:05Well, I got into a scrap here
19:06with a fellow
19:07who called you
19:07a nosy little strumpet
19:08who was always going
19:09blubbing to the Queen.
19:10Ah!
19:10And we got into a fight
19:12and he cut off the top half.
19:14Oh, alas!
19:15Ah, ah, yes, of course.
19:16Well, I think
19:17you'd better be going.
19:18Lord Blackadder said
19:19he was going to be
19:20sending in his servant
19:20Baldrick
19:21to collect me.
19:22Perhaps, my lord,
19:24he is leaving us
19:25for a little longer.
19:26Oh, no, no, I shouldn't think so.
19:28Baldrick is usually
19:29very much.
19:30Perhaps this
19:32Baldrick is doing it
19:33out of kindness.
19:34Oh, no, I shouldn't think
19:34it's a baldrick.
19:36It's a very unkind person.
19:38Well, then,
19:38let us leap on the moment
19:39that we have been given
19:40and use it to its full.
19:41What?
19:41Let me do this last thing
19:43for you.
19:43What wife could do more?
19:45What?
19:46Oh, I see.
19:47He!
19:48Right, that's it.
19:50Time's up.
19:50No, it isn't.
19:51Yes, it is.
19:51Come on.
19:52Hang down.
19:53Come on.
19:53Oh, we've had so little time.
19:55May we finish
19:56and we'll be down in paradise.
19:58Farewell.
19:59Farewell.
20:01Boy, you bust.
20:05That's a bust.
20:07That was the first time
20:08ever in my whole life
20:09I've been on this
20:11paltry, boring planet
20:13for 30 years
20:14and that's the first time
20:15anyone has ever...
20:16But do not despair, my lord.
20:18Your brother petitions
20:20the Queen tomorrow morning.
20:21There may still be hope.
20:23What?
20:28Shall I prepare the guest room
20:30for Mr Cockup, my lord?
20:34Oh, yes.
20:35All right.
20:35Then let him off.
20:36He probably is innocent anyway.
20:38My lady,
20:39may the heavens rain down
20:41radiant jewels
20:42and sweet meats upon you.
20:43Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
20:45And may cherubim
20:46and seraphim...
20:47Oh!
20:51My lady,
20:51about Lord Farrow.
20:52I wrote him off.
20:53No, no, no, no, you can't.
20:55He's a complete
20:56cat of the first water.
20:58Can't is not a word
20:59for princes,
21:00Lord Blackadder.
21:01How very true,
21:02Majesty.
21:02Anyway,
21:04I won't be argued with,
21:05will I, Nursey?
21:05Well, sometimes,
21:06my darling,
21:07when you want something
21:07very naughty,
21:08now you won't be arguing
21:09with absolutely not.
21:10Precisely.
21:11So, Lord Blackadder,
21:13I want to see Lord Farrow
21:15here in one hour.
21:17Meanwhile,
21:19I shall spend the time
21:19visiting my old friend,
21:21Lord Ponsonby,
21:22who I believe
21:22I'm having killed
21:23on Friday.
21:25Oh, Percy.
21:26Let's see if there are
21:27any good heads
21:28in Traitor's Cloister.
21:30On the way.
21:36Percy,
21:37this is a very
21:38difficult situation.
21:39Yes, my lord.
21:41Someone's for the chop.
21:42You or me, in fact?
21:44Yes.
21:46Let's face facts,
21:47Percy.
21:48It's you.
21:50Except,
21:52except,
21:53I may have a plan.
21:54Oh, yes.
21:55Yes.
21:56How about
21:57if we get
21:57Lord Farrow's head
21:59and body
21:59and we take it
22:00to the Queen,
22:01except,
22:01except,
22:02just before we get in,
22:04we start shouting
22:05and screaming
22:06and then we come in
22:07saying we were
22:07just on our way
22:08when he said
22:09something traitorous
22:10and so we cut his head
22:11off in the corridor
22:12to teach him a lesson.
22:13Pathetic.
22:15Absolutely pathetic.
22:17Contemptable.
22:18Worth a try.
22:19Where do we put the head?
22:20It's on a spike
22:21in Traitor's Cloister.
22:22Oh, God,
22:22well, that's where
22:23the Queen's gone.
22:24Did she know, Farrow?
22:25Oh, yes.
22:26They were childhood friends.
22:27Well, if she sees
22:28his head
22:28on a spike,
22:29she'll realise
22:31he's dead.
22:33You fix the body.
22:34I'll cover the head.
22:39Hello, Edmund.
22:41Look,
22:42I'm sorry
22:43I snatched at you just now.
22:44Oh.
22:45You know,
22:45I'm really very keen on you
22:47indeed, don't you?
22:48Oh, yes, ma'am,
22:49as you were keen on Essex.
22:50Exactly.
22:51Right up to the point
22:52at which you had his head cut off.
22:54He didn't mind that.
22:56He knew it was only little me.
22:58And I think his head
22:59did look jolly super
23:00on its spike.
23:04Have you no heads
23:04on spikes today?
23:06Um, no.
23:08No.
23:09We're training up
23:10our new executioner
23:11and he's a little immature.
23:12Takes him forever.
23:13Slash, slash, slash.
23:14By the time he's finished,
23:15you don't so much need
23:16a spike as a toast rack.
23:19Well, love, toast.
23:21Still,
23:22must be off to say bye-bye
23:23to Ponsonby.
23:25Would you care to stroll
23:26with me a while?
23:27Just if you've got time,
23:28if you're not too busy.
23:29No, sorry, ma'am.
23:30Affairs of office...
23:31I said, would you care
23:31to stroll with me a while?
23:33Just if you've got time,
23:34if you're not too busy.
23:35Yes.
23:35It would make the decade
23:37worthwhile.
23:40And in Genoa,
23:42it is now the fashion
23:43to pin a live frog
23:44to the shoulder braid,
23:46stand on a bucket
23:46and go bibble
23:48at passing.
23:49Oh, our Italian cousins.
23:52Well, if you'll excuse me, ma'am,
23:53I've got some business
23:54to attend to.
23:55Certainly.
23:56But first, Edmund,
23:58take my hand.
24:00Tell me you'll forgive
24:01my former sharpness.
24:05Um...
24:07Milady.
24:09Sweet Lord Blackadder.
24:11Oh!
24:28Percy.
24:29Well, I've got the body, my lord,
24:30and I see you've got the head.
24:31Yes, but look,
24:31it's no good, Percy.
24:32No-one's ever going to believe
24:33we've just cut it off.
24:34It's gone green.
24:37We're doomed.
24:38Doomed.
24:39Oh, wait a moment.
24:41That's not Pharaoh,
24:42isn't it?
24:43No, that's Ponsonby.
24:44My God.
24:45Ponsonby.
24:46That genius ball-rigger's
24:48killed the wrong bloke.
24:49We're saved.
24:50Saved!
24:51The Pharaoh is alive
24:52and we're saved.
24:53Hooray!
24:54And when the Queen
24:55gets back from seeing
24:56Ponsonby, we'll...
24:57Oh, God!
24:59Oh, we do!
25:00We do!
25:06It's not very nice here,
25:07is it?
25:07Oh, it's not meant to be,
25:09my pikelet.
25:10This is where all the
25:11horrid people who don't like you live.
25:12I suppose so.
25:14It's a bit smelly, too,
25:16isn't it?
25:17Oh, well,
25:18of course I'm used to that.
25:20In the mornings
25:21when you were a little baby.
25:22Shut up, darling.
25:23You!
25:24No, not you.
25:25You're too repulsive.
25:25You!
25:26Yes, your royal majestic highness.
25:28Bring in
25:28Lord Ponsonby.
25:29Yes, your royal majestic thing.
25:33So strange Ponsonby turned out
25:35to be a traitor.
25:36You would have thought
25:37that he'd have had problems enough.
25:39What, with that hunch?
25:40And only having one leg?
25:42Yes, and that terrible speech problem.
25:47Your Majesty,
25:49Lord Ponsonby.
25:58His great grandfather was a king
26:03Although for only 30 seconds
26:07Went caught in charge
26:09Beheading
26:10He felt that fame and glory beckoned
26:14Blackadder, Blackadder
26:17No such blooming luck
26:21Blackadder, Blackadder
26:24He was a bee and schmuck
26:28Blackadder, Blackadder
26:31Nothing goes as bland
26:35Blackadder, Blackadder
26:39Life deals him a bomb hand
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