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Black Adder is pure British comedy gold 😂 From Rowan Atkinson’s legendary sarcasm to the chaotic historical disasters, every season delivers iconic humor, savage wit, and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s medieval schemes, royal disasters, or war-time satire, Black Adder remains one of the greatest comedy series ever made. 🇬🇧🔥
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00:36Oh, la, la.
00:40Good morning, Mr. Pickens.
00:42Bonjour, monsieur.
00:43What?
00:45Bonjour, monsieur.
00:46It's French.
00:47So is eating frogs, cruelty to geese, and urinating in the street.
00:52But there's no reason to inflict it on the rest of us.
00:55But French is all the fashion.
00:57My coffee shop is full of French's,
01:00and it's all because of that wonderful Scarlet Pimpernel.
01:04The Scarlet Pimpernel is not wonderful, Mrs. Pickens.
01:07There's no reason whatsoever to admire someone
01:08for filling London with a load of garlic-chewing French tops,
01:12crying ooh-la-la and looking for sympathy all the time
01:15just because their fathers had their heads cut off.
01:18I'll have a cup of coffee and some shepherd's pie, please.
01:20Oh, we don't serve pies anymore.
01:24My French clientele consider pies uncouth.
01:28Now, how do they think that a nation that eats snails
01:30and would go to bed with the kitchen sink if it put on a tutu
01:33is in any position that freaks kithness?
01:36So what is on the menu?
01:37Well, today's hot choice is Chicken Pimpernel in a Scarlet sauce,
01:42Scarlet Chicken in a Pimpernel sauce,
01:44or huge, suspicious-looking sausages
01:47in a Scarlet Pimpernel sauce.
01:49What exactly is Scarlet Pimpernel sauce?
01:51You take a large, ripe frog, squeeze it.
01:55Yes, yes, all right.
01:58Ah, bonjour, monsieur.
02:00Sod off.
02:09Oh, sir, poor little Mildred the cat.
02:12What's he ever done to you?
02:13It is the way of the world, Baldrick.
02:15The abused always kick downwards.
02:16I'm annoyed, and so I kick the cat.
02:19The cat pounces on the mouse,
02:21and then finally the mouse bites you on the behind.
02:25And what will I do?
02:26Nothing.
02:27You are last in God's great chain.
02:29Unless, of course, there's an earwig around here
02:32that you like to victimise.
02:33Baldrick, what's happened to your nose?
02:36Nice, isn't it?
02:37No, it isn't.
02:38It's revolting.
02:39Oh, I'll take it off, then.
02:42Baldrick, why are you wearing a false boil?
02:45What are we to expect next?
02:47A beauty wart?
02:49A cosmetic verruca?
02:52It's a Scarlet pimple, sir.
02:55Really?
02:55Yeah, they're all the rage down our way.
02:57Everyone wants to express their admiration
03:00for the great pimple and his brilliant disguises.
03:03They seek him here.
03:05They seek him there.
03:06Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
03:08Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
03:10And what's that revolting garlic smell?
03:13Well, what has this fellow done,
03:15apart from pop over to France
03:17to grab a few French knobs
03:18from the ineffectual clutches
03:20of some malnourished, whinging lefties,
03:23taking the opportunity while there, no doubt,
03:25to pick up some really good cheap wine
03:27and some of their marvellous open fruit flans?
03:30Does anyone know we hate the French?
03:32We fight wars against them.
03:34Did all those men die in vain
03:35on the field of Agincourt?
03:37Was the man who burnt Joan of Arc
03:38simply wasting good matches?
03:43Ah, his royal highness,
03:44the pinhead of Wales,
03:46somehow.
03:46You know, I feel almost well disposed
03:48towards him this morning.
03:49At a chump though he may be,
03:51at least he's not French.
03:54Un toast!
03:55Encore un toast, I say.
03:57Le Pimpernel Scarlet.
03:59Le Pimpernel Scarlet.
04:03Ah, Le Adanois.
04:04Come over in.
04:09This is the fellow to ask you, chaps.
04:11My butler, terribly clever.
04:13Brighter than a brain pie.
04:15Our Black Hatter,
04:16we're trying to guess
04:17who the Scarlet Pimpernel is
04:19so we can send him
04:19an enormous post-lauder
04:21to express our admiration.
04:22Any ideas?
04:23Well, I'm sure if you address
04:24the envelope to the biggest show-off
04:26in London,
04:27it would reach him eventually.
04:28Tish and pish!
04:29Dad zooks me like it.
04:31How dare you say such a thing?
04:33Dem me, sir,
04:34if you're not the worst kind of swine.
04:36Dem that swine.
04:38I'm sorry, sir,
04:39I was merely pointing out
04:40that sneaking aristocrats out
04:41from under the noses
04:42of French revolutionaries
04:43is about as difficult
04:44as putting on a hat.
04:47Sink me, sir,
04:48this is treason.
04:49A Scarlet Pimpernel's a hero
04:50and the revolution is orchestrated
04:52by a ruthless band
04:53of highly organised killers.
04:55Dem them?
04:56Dem those organised killers.
04:59George,
04:59if I remember rightly,
05:01we were just discussing
05:02the French embassy ball
05:03in honour of the exiled aristocracy.
05:06We certainly were.
05:07Where I intend to wear
05:08the most magnificent pair of trousers
05:10ever to issue forth
05:11from the delicate hands
05:12of Messrs Snipcock and Turkey,
05:14couturier to the very wealthy
05:16and the extremely fat.
05:18If the Pimpernel does finally reveal himself,
05:20I don't want to get caught out
05:20wearing boring trousers.
05:22Save those boring trousers.
05:25Well, what say we bet your cock-shore domestic
05:29a thousand guineas
05:30he can't go to France,
05:32rescue an aristocrat
05:33and present him at the ball?
05:36Ha!
05:37That's turned you white, hasn't it?
05:39That's frightened you,
05:40you lily-livered,
05:41caramel-keedneyed,
05:43custard-coloured can.
05:44Not so buoyant now, are you?
05:46Eh?
05:47Eh?
05:47Eh?
05:48On the contrary, sir,
05:49I'll just go and pack.
05:50Oh.
05:52Perhaps Lord Smedley
05:53and Lord Toppo
05:54will accompany me.
05:55I'm sure it will be
05:56a fairly easy trip,
05:57the odd death-defying leap
05:58and a modest amount
05:59of dental torture.
06:00Do you want to come?
06:02Oh, no!
06:03Oh, no.
06:03Damn!
06:04Damn!
06:05Any day now,
06:07I've got an appointment
06:08of my doctor.
06:10I've got a bit of a sniffle
06:12coming on.
06:12I can feel it in my bones.
06:14Tim bones,
06:15dim bones, Tim.
06:17What about next week?
06:19Oh, come on, you chaps,
06:20get your diaries out.
06:21Come on.
06:21All right.
06:22Damn!
06:23Damn!
06:24I've left it behind.
06:25And besides,
06:26I've just remembered,
06:27my father's just died.
06:29I've got to beat his funeral
06:30in ten minutes.
06:31Damn, sorry.
06:32Goodbye, your highness.
06:34Er,
06:35dem.
06:36I'm the best man.
06:38Dem!
06:39Dem, father.
06:40Dem.
06:41Bye-bye.
06:42See you at the ball.
06:45Oh, what a shame
06:46they were so busy.
06:47Would have been lovely
06:48to have had them with us.
06:50Us?
06:51Yes.
06:52You're coming, sir?
06:53Oh, certainly.
06:54Ah.
06:55And nothing I can say
06:56about the mind-bending
06:58horrors of the revolution
06:59could put you off?
07:00Oh, absolutely not.
07:01Now, come on, Black Arrow,
07:02let's get packing.
07:03I want to look my best
07:04for those fabulous
07:05French birds.
07:06Sir,
07:07the type of women
07:08currently favoured
07:09in France
07:09are toothless crones
07:11who just cackle insanely.
07:13Oh, ignore that.
07:14They're just playing
07:14hard to get.
07:17By removing all
07:18their teeth,
07:19going mad
07:20and ageing 40 years.
07:21That's right,
07:22the little teasers.
07:23Now, come on.
07:24Um, I think
07:25a blend
07:26of silks and satins.
07:27I fear not, sir.
07:28If we are to stand
07:29any chance
07:30of survival in France,
07:31we shall have to dress
07:32as the smelliest
07:33lowlife imaginable.
07:34Oh, yes?
07:35What sort of thing?
07:36Well, sir,
07:36let me show you
07:37our Paris collection.
07:39Baldrick is wearing
07:41a sheep's bladder jacket
07:43with matching
07:44dungball accessories.
07:46Hair by Crazy Meg
07:48of bedlam hair.
07:49Notice how the
07:50overpowering aroma
07:52of rotting pilchards
07:53has been woven
07:54cunningly into the ensemble.
07:56Baldrick,
07:57when did you last
07:58change your trousers?
07:59I have never
08:00changed my trousers.
08:02You see,
08:03the ancient Greek, sir,
08:04wrote in legend
08:04of a terrible container
08:06in which all the evils
08:07of the world were trapped.
08:08How prophetic they were.
08:10All they got wrong
08:11was the name.
08:12They called it
08:12Pandora's Box,
08:14when, of course,
08:14they meant
08:15Baldrick's Trousel.
08:17We certainly can
08:18get a bit whiffy,
08:19there's no doubt.
08:21We are told
08:22that when the box
08:23was opened,
08:23the whole world
08:24turned to darkness
08:25because of Pandora's
08:26fatal curiosity.
08:27I charge you now,
08:29Baldrick,
08:29for the good
08:29of all mankind,
08:31never allow curiosity
08:32to lead you
08:33to open your trousers.
08:35Nothing of interest
08:36lies therein.
08:38However,
08:39your highness,
08:39it is trousers
08:40exactly like these
08:41that you will have
08:42to wear
08:43if we are to pass
08:44safely into France.
08:47Yes,
08:47well, you know,
08:48on second thoughts,
08:49I think I might
08:49give this whole thing
08:50a miss.
08:50You know,
08:50my tummy's playing up a bit.
08:52I wish,
08:53wish I could come,
08:54but just not pass
08:54with this tongue.
08:55I understand
08:56perfectly, sir.
08:57Also,
08:58the chances of me
08:58scoring if I look
08:59and smell like him
09:00are zero.
09:01Well, that's true, sir.
09:02We shall return
09:02presently to bid you
09:03farewell.
09:05Mr. B,
09:06I've been having
09:07second thoughts
09:07about this trip
09:08to France.
09:09No way.
09:10Well, as far as
09:11I can see,
09:11looking and smelling
09:12like this,
09:13there's not much
09:13chance of me
09:14scoring either.
09:18Well,
09:18Blackadder,
09:19this is it.
09:20Yes, sir.
09:21If I don't make it back,
09:22please write to my mother
09:23and tell her
09:24that I've been alive
09:25all the time.
09:25It's just that I
09:26couldn't be bothered
09:26to get in touch
09:27with the old man.
09:28Well, of course,
09:29old man,
09:29it's the very least
09:30I can do.
09:31We must leave
09:32at once.
09:32The shadow's lengthen
09:33and we have a long
09:34and arduous journey
09:35ahead of us.
09:36Farewell, dear master
09:37and, dare I say,
09:39friend.
09:41Farewell, brave liberator
09:42and, dare I say it,
09:44butler.
09:51Right,
09:51stick the kettle on,
09:52Baldr's.
09:53Well, aren't we
09:53going to France?
09:54Of course we're not
09:55going to France.
09:56It's incredibly
09:56dangerous there.
09:58Well, how are you
09:58going to win your bet?
09:59As always, Baldrick,
10:01by the use of the
10:01large thing
10:02between my ears.
10:04Oh, your nose.
10:08No, Baldrick,
10:09my brain.
10:10All we do
10:11is lie low here
10:12for a week,
10:13then go to
10:13Mrs. Miggins's,
10:14pick up any old
10:15French aristocrat,
10:16drag him through a puddle,
10:17take him to the ball
10:18and claim our
10:18thousand guineas.
10:19But what if
10:20the prince finds us here?
10:22He couldn't find
10:23his own fly buttons,
10:24let alone the kitchen door.
10:27What a pair of trousers!
10:31I shall be the
10:32belle of the
10:33embassy bull.
10:34Now, how do you
10:35put them on?
10:36Like Adam!
10:38Oh, no, damn,
10:39he's gone to France.
10:40Well, I'll do it
10:41myself.
10:41Shouldn't be too
10:42difficult.
10:44Well, Baldrick,
10:50what a very pleasant
10:50week.
10:51We must do this
10:52more often.
10:53Yes, I shall
10:54certainly choose
10:55revolutionary France
10:56for my holiday
10:57again next year.
10:59Well, time to go to
11:00work.
11:01Off to Mrs. Miggins's
11:02to pick up any old
11:03French toff.
11:08What do you think
11:09that is?
11:09Well, if I was
11:10feeling malicious,
11:11I would say it was
11:12the prince still
11:12trying to put his
11:13trousers on after a
11:14week.
11:19Ah, Mrs. Miggins, I'd like
11:21a massive plate of pig's
11:23trotters, frog's legs and
11:24snail's ears, please, all
11:26drenched in your lovely
11:28scarlet pimpernel sauce.
11:29Not so hostile to the
11:31Frenchies now, Mr. B.
11:32Certainly not, Mrs. M.
11:33I'd sooner be hostile to my
11:34own servant.
11:38In fact, I came here
11:39specifically to meet
11:40lovely Frenchies.
11:42Well, vive to that and
11:43an eclair for both of us.
11:45Vive indeed.
11:46Now, what I'm looking for,
11:47Mrs. M., is a particular
11:48kind of Frenchie, namely
11:50one who is transparently
11:51of noble blood, but also
11:52short on cash.
11:54Oh, well, I've got just
11:55the fellow for you, over
11:56there by the window, the
11:58comte de frou-frou.
12:00Ah, he's pretty down on
12:02his luck.
12:02He has made that
12:03horse's willy last all
12:05morning.
12:09We have struck garlic.
12:14Now, you can have some
12:15lunch, Horace.
12:19Le comte de frou-frou,
12:20I believe.
12:21Eh?
12:23Do you speak English?
12:25A little.
12:26Yes.
12:27When you say a little,
12:27what exactly do you mean?
12:28I mean, can we talk, or
12:29are we going to spend the
12:30rest of the afternoon
12:31asking each other the
12:31way to the beach in
12:32very loud voices?
12:34Oh, no.
12:35I can order coffee,
12:37deal with white elves,
12:38make sexy chit-chat with
12:40girls, that type of thing.
12:41Oh, well, just don't ask
12:43me to take a physiology
12:44class or direct a light
12:45opera.
12:46No, no, I won't.
12:47Now, listen, frou-frou.
12:49Would you like to earn
12:50some money?
12:52No, I wouldn't.
12:54I would like other people
12:55to earn it and then give it
12:57to me, just like in France
12:58in the good old days.
13:00Yes, but this is a chance
13:01to return to the good old days.
13:03Oh, how I would love that.
13:06I hate this life.
13:07The food is filthy.
13:09This huge sausage is very
13:11suspicious.
13:13If I didn't know better,
13:14I'd say it was a hostage.
13:15Yes, yes, yes.
13:18The plan is this.
13:19I have a bet on with someone
13:20that I can get a Frenchman
13:22out of Paris.
13:23I want you to be that Frenchman.
13:25All you have to do is come
13:26to the embassy with me,
13:28say that I rescued you,
13:29and then walk away with 50 guineas
13:31and all the volubons you can
13:33stuff in your pockets.
13:34What do you say?
13:35It will be a pleasure.
13:38If there's one thing
13:39we aristocrats enjoy,
13:41it's a fabulous party.
13:42All the music,
13:44all the laughter.
13:46If only I'd brought
13:47my mongoose costume.
13:54Yes, well, obviously
13:56it hasn't really got going yet.
13:58I think that's a bit
13:59of an understatement,
14:00Fru-Fru.
14:00I've been at autopsies
14:02with more party actors.
14:03Don't worry.
14:04In a moment,
14:05we will hear the sound
14:06of music and happy laughter.
14:14Bonsoir, monsieur.
14:16Bonsoir.
14:16Ah, good evening, my man.
14:17Do you speak English?
14:19Little.
14:20Good.
14:20Well, just take me
14:21to the ambassador,
14:22then, will you?
14:23Pardon?
14:25I have rescued
14:27an aristocrat
14:29from the clutches
14:30of the evil revolutionaries.
14:33Please take me
14:34to the ambassador.
14:36No, I won't.
14:39I am an evil revolutionary
14:42and have murdered
14:44the ambassador
14:46and have turned him
14:47into paté.
14:52Ah.
14:53And you,
14:54aristopeig,
14:55are trapped.
14:56Pig!
14:57Ha!
14:57You will regret
14:58your insolence,
14:59revolutionary dog.
15:01Dog!
15:01Ha!
15:02You will regret
15:02your arrogant royalist
15:04snake!
15:05Snake!
15:05Ha!
15:06Look, I'm sorry
15:06to interrupt this
15:07very interesting discussion,
15:08but it really is none of my business,
15:09so I think I'll be on my way.
15:11Come on, Boric.
15:11Ha!
15:12Ha!
15:12Ha!
15:12Ha!
15:13Not so fast, English.
15:15In rescuing this,
15:17uh, this, uh,
15:18a brat,
15:19the stinky weed,
15:21you are attempted
15:21to pervert
15:22revolutionary justice.
15:24Do you know
15:26what they do
15:27to people
15:27who do that?
15:29They're given
15:30a little present
15:30and allowed
15:31to go free.
15:32No.
15:33They're smacked
15:34and told not to be naughty,
15:34but basically let off.
15:36No.
15:37I think I know.
15:38What?
15:38They're put in prison
15:40for the night
15:40and brutally guillotined
15:42in the morning.
15:42I'm bored.
15:44Your little gnome
15:46is correct, monsieur.
15:48Gentlemen,
15:49welcome to the last day
15:51of your life.
15:53How dare you,
15:54you filthy weasel.
15:56Weasel, ha!
15:57You're one to talk
15:57Aristo Warthog.
15:59Warthog?
16:00Ha!
16:00Ha!
16:00Excuse me,
16:01Prou-prou.
16:02Look,
16:03a mate,
16:04the old mate,
16:04we're both working class.
16:06We both hate
16:07these rich bastards.
16:07I mean,
16:08come on.
16:08Come on,
16:09me old mucker.
16:10Just let me go.
16:11You've got nothing
16:11against me.
16:12On the contrary,
16:14I hate you English
16:15with your boring trousers
16:17and your shiny
16:18toilet paper
16:19and your ridiculous
16:21preconceptions
16:22that Frenchmen
16:23are great lovers.
16:25I'm French
16:26and I'm hung
16:26like a baby carrot
16:27to the couple
16:28of people.
16:30Farewell,
16:31old mucker.
16:33I'm deaf
16:33to the aristoes.
16:34Deaf to the aristoes.
16:35Shut up,
16:36mouse brain.
16:37Oh,
16:37come on.
16:39Monsieur,
16:40why do you
16:40waste your words
16:41on this scum?
16:42Have no fear.
16:43This scarlet pimpernel
16:44will save us.
16:46Ha!
16:46Some hope.
16:47The pimpernel
16:48is the most
16:49overrated human being
16:50since Judas Iscariot
16:52won the
16:52A.D. 31
16:53Best Disciple
16:54competition.
16:55Well,
16:56if he should
16:57fail us,
16:58here,
16:59I have
16:59these suicide pills.
17:01one for me,
17:03one for you,
17:05and one
17:06for the dwarf.
17:09Say thank you,
17:10Balric.
17:10Thank you,
17:11Mr. Frooth.
17:12Nuh-uh.
17:22I've got nothing to do.
17:26So I think
17:27I will torture
17:30you,
17:31Aristo
17:31Mongrel.
17:32Mongrel?
17:33Ha!
17:33I look forward to it,
17:34proletarian skunk.
17:36Skunk,
17:36ha!
17:37We'll see about that,
17:38aristocratic happy botanus.
17:39Happy botanus!
17:44I'm glad to say
17:45I don't think
17:46you'll be needing
17:47those pills,
17:48Mr. B.
17:49Am I jumping
17:50the gun,
17:51Balric,
17:51or are the words
17:52I have a cunning plan
17:53marching with
17:54ill-deserved confidence
17:56in the direction
17:56of this conversation?
17:58We certainly are.
17:59Forgive me
18:00if I don't jump
18:00up and down
18:01with glee.
18:02Your record
18:02in this department
18:03is not exactly
18:03100%.
18:05So what's the plan?
18:06We do
18:07nothing.
18:09Yep.
18:09It's another world
18:10beater.
18:12Oi,
18:13I haven't finished.
18:14We do nothing
18:15until our heads
18:17have actually
18:17been cut off.
18:21And then we
18:22spring into action.
18:24Exactly.
18:25You know how
18:26when you cut
18:27a chicken's head off
18:28it runs round
18:28and round
18:29the farm?
18:30Yeah.
18:32Well,
18:32we wait until
18:33our heads
18:34have been cut off,
18:35then we run
18:36round and round
18:36the farmyard,
18:37out the farm gate
18:38and escape.
18:40What do you think?
18:41My opinions
18:42are rather difficult
18:43to express in words,
18:44so I can put it
18:45this way.
18:48It doesn't really
18:49matter,
18:49because the scarlet
18:50pimpernel
18:51will save us anyway.
18:52No,
18:53he won't,
18:53Baudric.
18:54Either I think
18:54up an idea
18:55or tomorrow
18:56we die,
18:57which,
18:58Baudric,
18:58I have to tell you
18:58I have no intention
18:59of doing,
19:00because I want
19:00to be young
19:01and wild
19:02and then I want
19:03to be middle-aged
19:04and rich
19:04and then I want
19:05to be old
19:06and annoy people
19:07by pretending
19:07that I'm deaf.
19:10Just be quiet
19:11and let me think.
19:14I can't sleep,
19:15Mr Blackadder.
19:17I said,
19:17shut up.
19:20I'm so excited
19:21to think that
19:22the scarlet pimpernel
19:23will be here
19:23at any moment.
19:24I wish you'd forget
19:25this ridiculous fantasy,
19:26Baudric.
19:27Even if he did turn up,
19:28the guards would be
19:29woken by the scraping noise
19:31as he tried to squeeze
19:32his massive swollen head
19:33through the door.
19:35I couldn't sleep
19:36when I was little.
19:37You still are little,
19:38Baudric.
19:39Yeah,
19:40well,
19:40when I was even littler.
19:41See,
19:42we used to live
19:42in this haunted hovel.
19:44Every night,
19:46my family
19:46were troubled
19:47by a visitation
19:48from this
19:49disgusting ghoul.
19:51It was terrible.
19:53First,
19:53there was this
19:54unholy smell.
19:55Then this tiny,
19:57clammy,
19:58hairy creature
19:59would materialise
20:01in the bed
20:01between them.
20:02Fortunately,
20:03I could never
20:04see it myself.
20:05Yes.
20:06Tell me,
20:07Baudric,
20:07when you left home,
20:08did this repulsive
20:09entity
20:10mysteriously disappear?
20:13That very day.
20:15I think,
20:16then,
20:16that the mystery
20:17is solved.
20:17shut up.
20:19Either I think
20:20of an idea
20:20or tomorrow
20:21we meet our maker.
20:22In my case,
20:23God.
20:24In your case,
20:25God knows.
20:26But I'd be surprised
20:27if he's won
20:28any design awards.
20:32I've thought of a plan.
20:34Hooray!
20:35Also,
20:35I've thought of a way
20:36to get you to sleep.
20:37What?
20:38Oh!
20:41Morning,
20:42scum.
20:43Did we sleep well?
20:44Like a top,
20:45thank you.
20:46But by Jiminy,
20:47you must be feeling
20:48thirsty after your
20:49long night's brutality.
20:51Drink?
20:52Oh,
20:52no,
20:53merci.
20:53Not while I'm on duty.
20:54Ah.
20:55Perhaps later.
20:57For you,
20:58monsieur,
20:59there is no later.
21:00Because,
21:01gentlemen,
21:01I am proud to introduce
21:03France's most
21:04vicious woman,
21:06unexpectedly arrived
21:07from Paris this morning.
21:08Would you please welcome
21:09Madame Guillotine herself?
21:19Are these the English pigs?
21:21Yes,
21:22that's us.
21:22Leave them with me,
21:24monsieur ambassador.
21:25I intend to torture them
21:26in a manner
21:27so unbearably gruesome.
21:29Even you will not
21:30be able to stand it.
21:32I don't think
21:33I will have a problem,
21:34madame.
21:34No,
21:34you will be sick.
21:36What if I stay
21:37for the first few minutes
21:38and then I leave
21:38if I'm feeling queasy?
21:39No,
21:40you will be sick
21:40immediately.
21:41What if I'm sick
21:42quietly in a bag?
21:44I mean,
21:45what is in your mind?
21:53So,
21:55scum,
21:56prepare to be
21:57in pain.
21:59Yes,
22:00certainly.
22:00but first,
22:02perhaps a toast
22:03to your beauty.
22:06Oh,
22:06thank you.
22:07Okay.
22:09Yes.
22:11So,
22:12I expect you
22:13were expected
22:14to be rescued.
22:15Huh?
22:15Some bloody hope.
22:17On the contrary,
22:18I'm just sorry
22:19I'm so late.
22:20What?
22:22Yes,
22:23gentlemen,
22:23I have come
22:24to take you
22:24to freedom.
22:25Hooray!
22:26My God,
22:27smegly.
22:28But I thought
22:28you were an absolute
22:29fathead.
22:29No,
22:30just a damn
22:31fine actor.
22:33Thank God
22:33I got here
22:34before you took
22:34any of those
22:35awful suicide pills.
22:40Yes,
22:41I suppose
22:41if someone
22:42had taken one
22:42and wished
22:43that he'd hadn't,
22:44he'd be able
22:44to do something
22:45about it.
22:45No,
22:46no,
22:46they're very
22:47odd things,
22:48you see.
22:48The symptoms
22:49are most peculiar.
22:51First of all,
22:51the victims
22:52become very,
22:53very depressed.
22:55Oh,
22:55God!
22:57But this whole
22:58revolution
22:58is so depressing,
22:59I mean,
23:00sometimes I wonder
23:00why I bother.
23:01I mean,
23:02I'm so lonely
23:02and nobody loves me.
23:04Then after the depression
23:05comes death.
23:05No,
23:06after the depression
23:07comes the loss of temper,
23:08you stuck-up bastard.
23:10What are you staring at?
23:13And after the temper
23:15comes death.
23:16No,
23:17after the temper
23:18comes the,
23:19um,
23:20comes the,
23:21um,
23:22Forgetfulness?
23:23Yes,
23:23that's it.
23:24Comes the,
23:25uh,
23:25Forgetfulness.
23:26Yes,
23:27yes,
23:27right in the middle
23:28of a thingy,
23:29you completely forget
23:31what it was you,
23:32ooh,
23:33nice pair of shoes.
23:34And after the forgetfulness,
23:35you die.
23:36Oh,
23:36no,
23:36I forgot one.
23:37After the forgetfulness
23:38comes a moment
23:39of exquisite happiness.
23:41Jumping up and down
23:42and waving your arms
23:44in the air
23:44and knowing that
23:45in a minute
23:45we're all going to be free,
23:46free,
23:48free.
23:49And then death?
23:50No,
23:50you jump in a corner
23:51first.
23:54Hooray!
23:55It's the Scarlet Pimpernel!
23:57Yes,
23:58Maldry.
23:58And you killed him!
24:00Yes,
24:17Maldry.
24:18Pick my nose
24:18to save his life.
24:19Come on.
24:20Ah!
24:21Ah,
24:21Foo-foo,
24:22my old friend and comrade.
24:23What are you doing here?
24:25I escaped.
24:26What happened here?
24:27Oh,
24:27nothing,
24:28nothing.
24:29Ah,
24:29I thought for a moment
24:30the Scarlet Pimpernel
24:32had saved you.
24:33Ha,
24:33ha,
24:33ha,
24:33ha,
24:33ha,
24:34ha,
24:34ha,
24:34ha,
24:35ha,
24:35ha,
24:35ha,
24:36ha,
24:38ha.
24:39chaps,
24:39good to see you.
24:40Just trying on the new trousers.
24:42I return,
24:43sir,
24:43as promised,
24:44plus one top French aristocrat
24:46fresh from the Bastille.
24:48Ah,
24:48pleased to meet you,
24:49monsieur.
24:50Do sit down.
24:50Oui,
24:51je vais.
24:52Damn sorry about the revolution
24:53and all that cake.
24:54Almost awfully bad luck.
24:56So tell me,
24:56Blackadder,
24:57how the devil
24:57did you get him out?
24:58Sir,
24:58it is an extraordinary tale
25:00of courage and heroism
25:01which I blush
25:02from telling myself,
25:03but seeing as there's no one else,
25:04I could try.
25:06We left England in good weather, but that was as far as our luck held.
25:11In the middle of Dover Harbour, we were struck by a tidal wave,
25:14and I was forced to swim to Boulogne with the unconscious Baldrick tucked into my trousers.
25:19Then we were taken to Paris, where I was summerily tried and condemned to death,
25:24and then hung by the larger of my testicles from the walls of the West End.
25:28It was then that I decided I had had enough.
25:32Bravo!
25:33Oh. I rescued the Count, killed the guards, jumped the moat, ran to Versailles,
25:39where I climbed into Mr. Ropespeer's bedroom,
25:42leaving him a small tray of milk chocolates and an insulting note.
25:46The rest was easy.
25:48That is an incredible story, worthy of the scarlet Pimpernel himself.
25:52Well, I wouldn't know.
25:54Aye, on the other hand, the word.
25:57Because your sister...
26:06Aye, on the scarlet Pimpernel.
26:09Uh-oh.
26:11Good Lord!
26:13Chopper!
26:14Yes, Your Highness.
26:15But he gads on by jingo with dumplings, steak and kidneys,
26:19and a good solid helping of sprouts.
26:20I can't believe it!
26:22You're the fellow who has single-handedly saved all those damn Frenchies from the chop?
26:26Not quite single-handedly, sir.
26:29I operated with the help of my friend, Smedley.
26:31But he seems to have disappeared for the moment.
26:35Slightly mysteriously.
26:37Shut up, Baldrick.
26:39So, so, Blackadder rescued the scarlet Pimpernel?
26:44No, sir, he did not.
26:45Eh?
26:46Prepare yourself for a story of dishonour and deceit that will make your stomach turn.
26:53Oh, I say, this is interesting, isn't it, Blackadder?
26:57Not only that, but I trust it will lead to the imprisonment of a man who is a liar, a
27:02bounder, and a cad.
27:07Well, bravo!
27:09Because we hate liars, bounders, and cads, don't we, Blackadder?
27:12Generally speaking, yes, sir.
27:14But perhaps before Lord Topper starts to talk, he might like a glass of wine.
27:20He's looking a little shaken.
27:22Shaken, but not stirred.
27:26It all began last week.
27:28I was sitting in Mrs. Miggins' coffee shop when...
27:33Oh, God!
27:36All this treachery is so depressing.
27:39I mean, the whole thing makes you so incredibly angry!
27:43I mean, it just makes you wonder...
27:46Nice waistcoat, Your Majesty.
27:50I'm sorry, I've completely forgotten what I was talking about.
27:53Um, a story of disorder and deceit.
27:56Oh!
27:56That's a great story!
27:58That's great!
27:59Oh, that's a wonderful story!
28:01Let me just dump it in this corner first.
28:07Roast mine raisins!
28:08He's popped it!
28:10Let's say, Blackadder, do you think he really was the Scarlet Pimpernel?
28:13Well, judging from the ridiculous ostentatiousness of his death, I would say that he was.
28:18Well, then, that's a damn shame.
28:20Because I wanted to give him this enormous postal order.
28:23Please, sir, let me finish.
28:25I would say that he was...
28:28You see, the Scarlet Pimpernel would never, ever reveal his identity.
28:32That's his great secret.
28:34So, what you're actually looking for is someone who has, say, just been to France and rescued an aristocrat.
28:41But when asked, are you the Scarlet Pimpernel, he replies, absolutely not, sir.
28:46Wait a minute.
28:48Blackadder, you've just been to France?
28:50And he's rescued a French aristocrat?
28:53Oh, Blackadder, are you the Scarlet Pimpernel?
28:57Absolutely not, sir.
29:18Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder,
29:38Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder.
29:50Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder,
29:53Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder,
29:53Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder,
29:53Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder, Blackadder
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