- 6 minutes ago
Charlie Lets Kate Take Charge
Charlie is asked to fill in as coach of a high school baseball team, and Martin convinces him to take him along as his assistant coach. It becomes clear that little has changed since Martin used to be Charlie's manager. In Charlie's absence, Kate fills in as his anger group's therapist, but her methods sharply contrast with Charlie's.
Charlie is asked to fill in as coach of a high school baseball team, and Martin convinces him to take him along as his assistant coach. It becomes clear that little has changed since Martin used to be Charlie's manager. In Charlie's absence, Kate fills in as his anger group's therapist, but her methods sharply contrast with Charlie's.
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00:00Why don't you come in and sit down?
00:02The principal will be right with you.
00:06Boy, being called into the principal's office really takes me back.
00:10Just remember, it's not yours. You were just holding it for a friend.
00:15So why do you think the principal called you in here? What do you think Sam did?
00:19Uh, probably nothing.
00:21She's such an innocent kid, sometimes I wonder if she's even ours.
00:24She came out of me, Charlie.
00:26Maybe you were just holding her for a friend.
00:29What if she's just super sneaky, has everybody fooled?
00:32What if she's in a gang and she's like the biggest drug dealer in the school?
00:36You look kind of proud when you said that.
00:39Well, I just worry about her. She's so normal.
00:42She has OCD.
00:43You're right. If she were selling drugs, she'd be super organized.
00:47I mean, there'd be no season that week.
00:50Uh, Mr. Goodson, Ms. Goodson. No, please.
00:54All right. Tell us straight. What did Sam do?
00:58And don't leave anything out. This is our first time.
01:02No, that kids with OCD don't cause a lot of our traditional problems.
01:07By the way, did you know that she has her own meat thermometer?
01:12Cafeteria staff would really appreciate it if you took it away.
01:14It's slowing down the lunches.
01:17Well, it was all she wanted for Christmas, but sure.
01:21Oh, I'm sorry, Ms. Goodson, but I really only needed to talk to Charlie.
01:25We need your help.
01:26Our baseball coach, Mr. Henderson, he just left us to be on a reality show.
01:31Ooh, which one?
01:33I believe it's called Hookup Island.
01:36Oh, I love that show. How do you get on that?
01:40I don't know. I'm sure there's a website.
01:45Look, Charlie, with your background as a pro ball player,
01:48I know the kids would absolutely love it if you would manage their last three games.
01:53Are you interested?
01:54Wow. I gotta be honest.
01:56First time I've ever been called to the principal's office and gotten good news.
02:00Well, it was at one time.
02:01You know, you're not the father.
02:04But, but, yeah. Yeah, I, I, I'd love to coach the team.
02:08Uh, excuse me, can I have a word with Charlie?
02:10We're divorced and there's some scheduling stuff we should work out first.
02:14We'll be right out.
02:15Sure, I'll, uh, I'll be right down the hall.
02:23Okay, Charlie, I'm not sure this is the best idea.
02:26In case you forgot, you're too competitive, losing makes you angry.
02:30Part of the reason I used to be so angry is because my first coach was the meanest,
02:33most competitive son of a bitch to ever walk the face of the planet.
02:37Wait, who was your first coach?
02:38Nah, you wouldn't know him.
02:39Oh, wait, you did meet him. My dad.
02:42All right, Charlie.
02:43But watch yourself.
02:46Look, before we go, there's something I've always wanted to do.
02:52Bueller. Bueller. Bueller.
02:55Quick, let's go.
03:01Listen, Jen, I'm going to be pretty busy with this stuff for the next couple of weeks,
03:04so you need to take Sam for me.
03:07Hey, I'm 15. I don't need anybody watching me.
03:10That's true.
03:11She was so well behaved, we could have left her alone when she was five.
03:14In fact, a couple of times we did.
03:17All you did was organize your toys and try to make our beds.
03:20The house was actually cleaning when we got back.
03:23Hey, hey, hey, Charlie, congratulations.
03:25I just heard about the coaching job.
03:27This is the most exciting thing to happen to the Goodson family
03:30since Jennifer gave birth and little Sammy slid into home.
03:34Ew.
03:35I just opened a strawberry yogurt.
03:38Here, son.
03:39I want you to have my old coaching whistle for good luck.
03:42Thanks.
03:43But I'm actually going to use the players' names
03:45instead of sneaking up behind them, blowing this thing, and screaming,
03:47Hey, dumbass!
03:49Here you go.
03:50Well, uh, say, you know, I was thinking, uh, every coach needs a little help.
03:55No.
03:56No, wait a minute. Now, listen.
03:57I could be your assistant.
03:59No.
03:59Run the drills and practice.
04:01No.
04:01Pack up the equipment.
04:03No.
04:03Mix the Gatorade.
04:04Well, maybe.
04:05No.
04:06Charlie!
04:07No.
04:07Oh, come on, Charlie.
04:09I really want to do this with you.
04:10I miss the game.
04:11And who knows how many more chances we'll have to be together
04:13doing the thing we love most.
04:15Remember all the good times we had when you were a kid?
04:18No.
04:19Not with you as the coach.
04:21Pushing me.
04:22Making me feel worthless if I didn't do well.
04:24What kind of father gives a son a birthday cake that says nice catch on it?
04:28Oh, that's not sweet.
04:29It was written in quotes.
04:30He was being sarcastic.
04:32Come on, Charlie.
04:33You could use a hand.
04:35Don't you think this could be good for you guys?
04:37I mean, maybe you can learn something from each other.
04:39Yeah, Charlie.
04:40Maybe you can teach me something.
04:42Maybe you're right.
04:43I can teach you something.
04:44I can teach you how to coach a kid without screwing him up.
04:47Hey, I'm not too old to learn there might be a better way.
04:49You'll be the coach.
04:50I'll be the assistant.
04:51I'll even throw away the whistle.
04:53I'll take the whistle.
04:54My women's defense class is in a pretty sketchy neighborhood.
04:57Come on, Charlie.
04:58I'll do whatever you want.
05:00You can't ask for more than that.
05:02Oh, yeah?
05:03Watch this.
05:05No matter how you feel, you will support everything I say enthusiastically.
05:09If I like something, you like it more.
05:10That is the best idea I have ever heard.
05:13Not good enough.
05:14You know, the invention of the wheel was a stupid idea compared to what you just said, sir.
05:21Okay.
05:21You got the job.
05:23Yes.
05:24From now on, I get the last one on everything.
05:26Whatever you say.
05:28Great.
05:28You can stop talking.
05:29Will do.
05:30I mean now.
05:31You got it.
05:33Do you even know what I get the last word means?
05:36Am I allowed to answer that?
05:39No.
05:40Okay.
05:45So, for the next couple of weeks, due to some personal commitments with my daughter's school,
05:49I have asked Dr. Kate Wales to step in as your therapist.
05:52You are in great hands.
05:53You probably won't even want me back.
05:55I could have told you that before she even sat down.
05:59Okay.
06:00On that note, I will leave you to get to know each other.
06:03But I just, I just got to say that I am so proud of all of you for handling this
06:07transition so well because...
06:09Are you going to leave or not?
06:11I don't examine the group's denial about me leaving.
06:14There's a lot of anxiety here.
06:19Okay.
06:19First, let me say that my style is a little different than Charlie's.
06:23He tells you a lot about himself and I don't.
06:27Patrick, why don't you start us off?
06:30Sure.
06:31So, I'm waiting for the UPS truck to arrive, which, by the way, your corporate color is brown.
06:36You know what brown can do for me?
06:38Change to any other color.
06:39I'm going to stop you right there.
06:41You're rambling and that's your passive-aggressive way of punishing us.
06:48Just jump ahead to the part where you actually got angry.
06:52Okay.
06:56Well, three days later, I'm in line at the bookstore.
06:59And, well, those are all gone.
07:01There used to be seven in my neighborhood.
07:02The bookstores are gone and so is my patients.
07:05Moving on, Nolan.
07:08Nothing.
07:09Lacey?
07:10Uh.
07:10Nothing.
07:11Ed?
07:12You are the finest patients.
07:14Nothing.
07:14Okay, people, if this were an emergency room, you'd be begging for help.
07:18But instead, you're just sitting here in front of me, bleeding to death, telling me stories about the UPS truck.
07:26Nolan.
07:26Yeah.
07:27Who are you calling?
07:29It wasn't Charlie.
07:33Come on, Todd.
07:34Right now, you got this guy.
07:36Piece of cake.
07:37Spike.
07:40That's the second time he's struck out chasing an outside pitch.
07:43You've got to rip him a new one.
07:44Ed?
07:45You know, in a supportive way, so that he grows up to be a nice, solid citizen.
07:50Hey, Todd.
07:52Don't get dying yourself.
07:53Next at bat's gonna be a whole new experience.
07:56By the way, the cute girl in the second row, totally digging your swing.
08:01That's my sister.
08:03You're a good-looking family.
08:06See, I never would have thought of it.
08:08I'd have told him to get his head out of his ass.
08:10Instead, you gave it a big, fat kiss.
08:14Is this you supporting me enthusiastically and not questioning my decisions?
08:18Yeah, I'm just saying.
08:18I think it's very sweet.
08:20You got the first base with that kid.
08:21It's a lot further than he got.
08:24Step three!
08:25Hey, ah!
08:26That was a ball!
08:28You should know what they look like.
08:29Your mom's got them.
08:30This is a freaking gag!
08:32I like this kid.
08:34He wants to win.
08:36Oh, win!
08:37Is this one of those leagues where they keep score?
08:41That's what those giant numbers are in the outfield.
08:44Of course he wants to win.
08:45We all want to win.
08:46Just not like that.
08:47Logan, talk to me.
08:49Look, I know you're worked up because we're down by two and we should be beating these guys
08:52like a rented donkey.
08:53What do I do?
08:54Calling me up as mom a guy, at best a she-male, is crossing the line.
08:59I just want to win!
09:00That's a bunch of crap!
09:01All right, that's it.
09:02Grab some pine.
09:03You're benched.
09:04Halford, you're in.
09:08You sure you want to bench our best player?
09:10Hell yeah.
09:11If somebody had benched me instead of encouraging my anger as a motivator, it might have changed
09:14my life.
09:15Why don't you just talk to him after the game so he can help us win this thing?
09:19Don't you want to win?
09:20You used to.
09:21I remember a 12-year-old boy standing out in the front yard crying because he lost a game.
09:26You locked me out of the house.
09:27Because you lost a game!
09:29Which I now realize what's the very wrong thing to do.
09:33Do you?
09:35Did I just see the old coach come out?
09:36What's next?
09:37The emotional blackmail or the temper tantrum?
09:39Oh, Charlie, I would never do that to you and it makes me sad to think you might think
09:42I would do something like that.
09:45There's the emotional blackmail.
09:46All right, fine.
09:47Have it your way.
09:48Maybe you're right.
09:49Maybe I was a bad coach because my kid ended up a loser.
09:53And there's the temper tantrum.
09:59I'm really dreading another session with Kate.
10:02Listen, guys, I don't think we should be afraid of this witch.
10:05She's got to have a weakness.
10:06Sunlight, pig's blood, something.
10:09We're smarter than that.
10:10This time, we get under her skin.
10:12Follow my lead.
10:13Oh, my lord.
10:14The second time in my life, I'm about to take the advice of a gay fella.
10:18When was the first?
10:19I'd rather not discuss it.
10:21There was a time during the 70s, I had a perm.
10:28All right.
10:29Day two.
10:30I hope everyone has decided to participate today.
10:35Lacey, you're up.
10:38Uh, nothing, Nolan?
10:41I'm scared.
10:42Nothing, Patrick?
10:42I have something.
10:44I think I speak for everyone when I say that we find it hard to trust you and open up
10:50when
10:50you've only been our therapist for a day.
10:52I mean, all we know about you is that you're from a wealthy family, you're afraid of intimacy,
10:57and you're into bondage.
11:00Why would you think that?
11:02Wealthy comes from the double-stitched hem and the ease with which you wear a $1,000 blazer,
11:07and the fear of intimacy comes from the tightness of the blouse and the extraordinary amount
11:11of buttons.
11:14And the bondage.
11:16I thought it was just a shot in the dark.
11:17I was going to say rubber fetish.
11:21I believe Sherlock Homo hit the nail on the head.
11:26This is all very silly.
11:29Let's get back to you.
11:31No, this is interesting.
11:32I feel much more comfortable talking to you now that I know you're a spoiled rich girl
11:37who likes to get spanked.
11:39I can relate.
11:42This is fine.
11:43You're testing me, and I assure you, I can take it.
11:46I've been teased my whole life, and I learned to deal with it.
11:49Wow, your whole life?
11:51That is so sad.
11:55It's not sad, really.
11:58It makes you stronger.
11:59At least that's what my dad said.
12:01Your daddy?
12:02Hey, I bet he's a good man.
12:04He was the best.
12:06Was?
12:07Did he die?
12:09Yes, three years ago.
12:10Oh, I bet you miss him.
12:13No, I'm fine.
12:17I just wish I could talk to him again.
12:20Could somebody hand me that box of cleaners?
12:27Please don't cry.
12:29I know exactly how you feel.
12:31I mean, I've never mentioned this in session, but sometimes I pick up the phone and I try
12:37to call my mother in heaven.
12:40This is why kids should die before their parents.
12:48Hey, guys.
12:49Wayne, why are you wearing a spit guard?
12:52Because I spit on a guard?
12:56Well, the good news is a lot of guys couldn't pull off that look, but I knew it works.
13:02You know, Charlie, it would be a lot easier to hear you if you could pull off the hood.
13:06Don't do it.
13:09Well, Wayne, sometimes when we're in the middle of an anger episode, we need to have a de-escalation
13:14intervention.
13:14Ooh, that's a time-out.
13:17I just dealt with this yesterday.
13:19I'm coaching high school baseball, and I had to bench my star player for acting out.
13:23It cost us the game.
13:25And his father didn't stab him?
13:27Man, parents just don't get involved anymore.
13:31Well, trust me.
13:32Parents got angry, but I didn't care.
13:33I was trying to teach these kids how to control their anger.
13:36But sometimes there are consequences, like losing a game.
13:39Or being strapped to a chair.
13:40See, you get it.
13:42Can't my father be as well-adjusted as you?
13:45You won't give me any credit for trying to coach these kids without bullying them.
13:48So you didn't care about what the parents thought, and you didn't care about losing the game.
13:54But you did care about your father.
13:57Well, yeah.
13:57I thought maybe if I showed him a different way of coaching, then he'd change.
14:01Charlie, people don't change.
14:04Do not tell the parole board I said that.
14:10Charlie, you didn't want to show him a better way.
14:12You wanted his approval.
14:14Why would I want that?
14:15I don't know.
14:16I just say things I don't really think about him.
14:20Why would I want my father's approval?
14:22I'm a grown man.
14:23I've been through years of therapy, and now, damn it, I want his approval.
14:28Everybody hit the floor.
14:31We're on lockdown.
14:34I guess I can leave now.
14:35Nobody's going anywhere.
14:36Oh, you don't understand.
14:37I have to leave.
14:38I'm game to coach.
14:39You walk out that door.
14:40You either get tased or shot by the guards, or shanked and raped by the prisoners.
14:46So the floor, you say?
14:52Damn it, boys, wake up.
14:53We should be winning this thing.
14:55You were down by six runs.
14:56Rodriguez, what the hell's the matter with you?
14:58Cake pasta, son.
15:00Look at me, boy.
15:01I'm talking to you.
15:02You've got to make those plays at third base.
15:04You know, your dad went out for a beer run, I think.
15:07Now I'm starting to think he went off to buy you a dress.
15:09Get out of my face.
15:10Logan, you're the lead-off batter.
15:12Come here.
15:12I want to talk to you.
15:13What?
15:15If baseball doesn't work out for you, son, are you planning on being a comedian?
15:20Why?
15:21Well, because they're all laughing at you.
15:23Shut up, boy.
15:24You want to hit me?
15:25Go ahead.
15:25It'll be the only thing you've hit all day.
15:27Now grab a bat.
15:28Get your ass out there.
15:29Do some damage.
15:30Now, move!
15:31What the hell are you doing?
15:33I'm coaching a baseball team.
15:35Somebody had to do it while you were in prison.
15:37I was trying to rehabilitate murderers, but now I'm starting to identify with them.
15:41You see all those parents in the bleachers?
15:43They're all counting on me to lift this team to the playoffs.
15:47Logan!
15:48Laughing at you.
15:49All of them.
15:50Listen to them.
15:51Ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:54Nobody's laughing at you, Logan.
15:55My dad forgot to take his meds.
15:58Use the tools I showed you.
16:00Anger clouds your judgment.
16:02Anger is the hammer of judgment.
16:04Bring that hammer down, son.
16:06My dad's insane.
16:07That's why his second wife left him.
16:09Keep your cool.
16:10She left me because I didn't make enough money.
16:13You can help with that call for both of us, kid.
16:15She left him for a variety of reasons.
16:17You're doing great.
16:19But mostly the money.
16:20And ignore him.
16:21He doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.
16:23I don't care what you think.
16:25That's it.
16:26You're fired.
16:27What?
16:30Think about what you're doing, son.
16:32Oh, I have thought about it.
16:33I thought about it all afternoon lying face down on a sticky prison floor
16:36worrying about my virginity.
16:37That's it.
16:38You're out of here.
16:39Yeah, you're making a big mistake.
16:42Ah, shut up.
16:46What, you think I'm the first guy to fire?
16:47I'm the first guy to fire his dad in front of a crowd at a baseball game?
16:51Lou Gehrig did it in 1938.
16:53And his dad had Lou Gehrig's dad's disease.
16:57Look it up, people.
17:00All right, before we start, last session was an anomaly.
17:06I became uncharacteristically vulnerable, and I want to thank you all for sharing your personal
17:12stories that made me feel not so alone.
17:16I still can't believe you had a stutter until you were 10.
17:19Yeah, that makes my unibrow years seem so trivial.
17:23But when it happens to you, it's not trivial.
17:27And for a 13-year-old girl with a giant eyebrow, it becomes the most important thing in the
17:33world.
17:33It was the thin, hairy line that separated me from the cool kids.
17:40I was just glad to find out I wasn't the only one who had his head shaved for ringworm.
17:45I never should have headbutted my ferret.
17:48It's not an approved training technique anyway.
17:51I was really just using my ringworm and stutter as examples of how people can develop anger
17:58through being stigmatized.
18:00Oh, please.
18:01We're supposed to open up because you were an ugly, bald-headed little girl who took an
18:05hour to finish a sentence?
18:08Ed, why would you do that?
18:10I was being nothing but honest and...
18:15Tissues, please.
18:16Oh, jeez.
18:18Please, no.
18:20I should be easier on you.
18:23After all, I had problems when I was a kid, too.
18:28Go on.
18:29I would wet the bed.
18:32My mama would hang the sheets out the window for everybody to see.
18:37And then I got on the internet and did a search and found out that your daddy is alive and
18:44well and living in Northbrook, Illinois.
18:48You are a liar, Dr. Ringworm.
18:56Okay.
18:58Busted.
19:00I realized I can come off as a bit aloof, so I thought by exaggerating my personal narrative,
19:06I could get you to open up and we could make some significant progress.
19:10And we did.
19:11You are one twisted individual.
19:15You have no idea.
19:19Hey, Charlie.
19:22I forgot my jacket.
19:26You want a hand?
19:28I thought I fired you.
19:31I may not be your assistant anymore, but I'm still your dad.
19:38What happened?
19:39Did the car win start?
19:40Nope.
19:42The battery was dead.
19:44Try yelling at it?
19:45Get it all fired up?
19:48No, but I did hug it.
19:50That didn't work either.
19:58Tough loss, huh?
20:01Yep.
20:02I'm proud of those kids.
20:05Nobody lost a temper.
20:06Nobody went crazy.
20:08Just a game.
20:10I'm not just talking about the game.
20:12I'm talking about your life.
20:15You could have stayed in baseball.
20:17Oh, sure.
20:17There's tons of teams looking for an old ball player with a bad knee.
20:21The L.A. Conjures.
20:25The Oakland Pathetics.
20:27I mean as a coach.
20:29And you still can.
20:31Hell, pick up the phone and call one of your old buddies.
20:34Those kids really wanted to play for you.
20:37That's a sign of a real coach.
20:39This may come as a shock to you, but I don't want to go back to baseball.
20:45I like what I do.
20:46I help people.
20:47Helping people makes you happy?
20:50Yeah.
20:50Yeah, it does.
20:53Wow.
20:56By the way, do you have auto club?
20:59I do.
20:59What?
21:01Your tires got slashed.
21:03I think it was that Logan kid.
21:05Could have been the parents?
21:07Nah, it was Logan.
21:09I stood with the parents and watched him do it.
21:13And now I play for you.
21:15I have no decision.
21:16No.
21:16No.
21:17Ha, ha, ha!
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