- 19 hours ago
Charlie Gets Lindsay Lohan in Trouble
To help keep her anger under control on the set of a commercial, Lindsay Lohan (playing herself) hires Charlie to be her anger management consultant. The two get romantic, leading to a series of mishaps that damage Lindsay's already tarnished reputation. Meanwhile, Lacey models a dress for Patrick.
To help keep her anger under control on the set of a commercial, Lindsay Lohan (playing herself) hires Charlie to be her anger management consultant. The two get romantic, leading to a series of mishaps that damage Lindsay's already tarnished reputation. Meanwhile, Lacey models a dress for Patrick.
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00:09it's all your fault charlie i wish i never met you i'm sorry lindsay
00:14i guess i'm just worried the robots will take over because they think humans are a bunch of
00:28easily distracted idiots but why don't you ever have donuts yeah let's get some donuts in here
00:35you're not here for donuts you're here to get help with your anger seriously charlie get some of those
00:40little powdered ones i love to lick the powder off and then give the rest to the homeless well
00:45remember you're modeling my dress at design school next week and right now you fit into it perfectly
00:50so you can't gain an ounce the only thing you're allowed to do is lick some homeless guy's donut
00:59okay if we love a guy would somebody please say something that'll take our minds off what we're
01:03all thinking i will according to tmz lindsay lohan's gonna have an anger management therapist on the
01:11set of her new commercial apparently they're afraid she's going to lose it what in the hell
01:15is the matter with all these stupid celebrities who can't control themselves why are you yelling at me
01:21how the hell would i know
01:25yeah charlie only deals with regular people for movie stars they bring in super qualified guys who
01:30really know what they're doing hey hey hey i am qualified to treat anybody i just can't always tell
01:37you guys who all my patients are and for the record i think it'd be healthy for lindsay to have
01:40me
01:40i mean somebody like me eh who am i kidding it's me oh my god you're gonna be lindsay lohan's
01:47therapist
01:48oh my god oh my god oh my god you're a disgrace okay look lindsay's doing this big japanese commercial
01:55and her people contacted me about being there for her in case she needs my help now i'm asking that
02:00you
02:00all be very discreet about this and send i'm sorry what were you saying
02:12hi i'm lindsay lohan and i love the taste of alcohol but sometimes bars close
02:22so how am i gonna get that taste until they're open again
02:28thank you booze bear number one happy whiskey chew there's no alcohol in it so i won't get drunk
02:36but i still might wake up with a stranger
02:41what the now i'm having sex with a bear are you kidding me really cut
02:51what's wrong here we're gonna fall behind schedule would you give us a second please fine but if she's
02:55not back on set in five minutes doing exactly what's on these pages she's in breach of contract
03:00sure we wouldn't want to jeopardize the good name and artistic vision of number one happy whiskey chew
03:10look i know you're probably gonna think i'm some whiny spoiled actress but they changed the script
03:14on me so they added that super creepy bear with the antlers that's pure nightmare stuff right there
03:20all i agreed to do was dress up like a japanese school girl and now i'm some drunk who has
03:24sex with
03:25bears for gum are you ready no this is humiliating and insulting and i don't want to do it hey
03:33goodson
03:33i thought it's supposed to be your job to make her happy okay then this should make her happy
03:39i agree with her she's right you lied to her her anger is totally justified you lied to her
03:44and you're exploiting her to sell gum which by the way i tasted and think is about the greatest thing
03:50ever
03:51that being said still if i were her i'd sorry i'd tell you to go to hell i like you
03:57go to hell
04:01no no no no no no no i said if i were you you you are you i think we
04:06should take a minute and think
04:07this through no no no this feels right you know when they hired you i was kind of upset but
04:12i think
04:13you're exactly what i need an enabler no you seem like a good normal guy not one of those hollywood
04:19party boys douchebags i hate those guys yeah you know what charlie i'm trying to break my old
04:27destructive habits and i think you're just the guy to help me that must have been pretty exciting
04:35for you considering who i am and all no seriously i never never thought i'd sleep with a movie star
04:45yeah and i never thought i'd be sleeping with a therapist from the valley
04:50i think we're saying two different things yeah i think we are
04:57hey charlie i brought over some more empty bottles for sam's recycling project
05:03these are from last night wow somebody's gotten really serious about his alcoholism
05:08oh no those are from my book club for single moms that thing's finally paying off you remember that
05:14woman i told you about two kids sells power tools at sears one with the big feet yep well those
05:21giant
05:21flippers were up in the air last night waving like palm trees in the wind hi charlie hi sweetie
05:31there you go thank you hi hello
05:41tell me more about sears girl
05:42whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa that was lindsey lohan did you know she was here don't be jealous
05:52this doesn't take anything away from your sasquatch girl from book club
05:56are these lindsey lohan sunglasses can i have them no no she needs these to hide in public why because
06:04she's dating you we're not dating i mean i i like her but who knows it'll never work out
06:12celebrities and regular people don't mix you don't know that let me tell you something i learned about
06:17celebrities last night they're just like regular people they take my pants off one leg at a time
06:27god it's so peaceful here how about we just stay in bed all day i would but i have to
06:33go to prison
06:34for how long about an hour wow you have a great lawyer
06:43no no i'm an anger therapy group there we meet once a week could i could i maybe come with
06:47you because
06:48you know i still have community service left to do and speaking out of prison would definitely knock
06:53off an hour or two well i could i could call them and see if it's all right if i
06:56bring you sure i
06:57don't think it should be a problem they know me at all the prisons and jails
07:02you don't know how long i've waited for a girl to say that
07:08so what i've learned is if you just take the time to think before you speak it can really improve
07:13your life
07:19i'm not a cannibal that's not why i'm in here but i bet you'd taste like raspberries
07:28um thank you
07:33you see when that's exactly the opposite of what she was saying about thinking before you speak
07:37well i thought about it i've been thinking about it ever since she sat her sweet little raspberry body
07:42in that chair sorry that one i did not think about anybody have any appropriate questions about
07:50what they've heard oh yes uh first of all uh miss lohan i've seen freaky friday like 400 000 times
07:56let's just get that off the table thank you and second of all how do you get your eyes like
08:03that
08:03they always look so twinkly and cute even with you dragging ass
08:08oh i use this eyeliner pen oh i can't get eyeliner in here you got any tips on using cockroach
08:13dust
08:13and toilet water okay i think lindsey has to go now guys all right um thank you guys
08:22oh and by the way if anybody asks i was here for the full hour
08:29charlie charlie i think i speak for the entire group when i say that we would all like to say
08:33some very dirty things about miss lohan but we will refrain from that if you are currently how
08:41can i put this delicately jamming her thank you for the courtesy donovan and and yes there's
08:50definitely an attraction i just don't know if i'm ready to pursue it i i barely know her and i'm
08:55i'm just not that sure if celebrities and regular people mix all that well is it because of all the
09:00things the press says about lindsey you can't believe everything you read they said i stabbed
09:05a guy like a hundred times i stabbed him maybe 50 at the most liars the newspapers accused me of
09:13a
09:13soul with a deadly weapon it wasn't deadly i missed charlie sorry to interrupt everyone someone from the
09:23press found out about what happened on the commercial yesterday
09:28spangali shrink out to destroy lilo's career but it was that panda told you it was a nightmare
09:40is your family here yet they're on their way great see this is exactly what i need
09:45sitting around with normal people having a normal dinner living a normal life
09:51oh my god rogera's letting me borrow their twenty thousand dollar dress tomorrow
09:56oh my god big lots is letting me wear the four dollar socks i bought there
10:03seriously it's a big charity event tomorrow night do you want to come
10:07maybe at the end of the night i'll let you take off my dress and then maybe i'll let you
10:11lindsey
10:12lohan take off my socks okay they're here just give me a minute to freshen up you got it
10:24hey hey dad is she here yet should be down in a minute hello charlie
10:35i know that tone that's the i don't approve of charlie's hot new movie star girlfriend tone
10:41it's not that i know things about her i read charlie us weekly star the inquirer people
10:49every once in a while you might want to mix in a book hey a hundred sexiest people issues like
10:54this
10:54thick it's almost like a book just give her a chance the girl is trouble it's gonna embarrass sam
11:02and i don't want our daughter to suffer the negative consequences of your actions negative consequences
11:08yesterday nobody knew my name now i'm that weird short girl whose dad is dating lindsey lohan thanks dad
11:15you hear that and just remember jan when you and i first started dating you had a reputation too
11:19because i was sleeping with you well i didn't judge you
11:29do you know her history she parties too much she gets into fights the woman has stolen things we don't
11:35know what's true and what isn't i heard a story about a guy who stabbed somebody a hundred times
11:39turns out i was only 50 nobody's afraid of that guy you're just being seduced by the fact that she's
11:45a
11:45celebrity and that's sad and shallow hey everybody oh my god you're even prettier in person
11:52i'm so sad and shallow lindsey is my daughter sam and her mother jennifer hi nice to meet you
11:59will you take a picture with me i need to prove you were here so everyone at school will keep
12:02talking
12:03to me oh sure would you mind signing an autograph and a napkin or something for me sure yeah there's
12:09a
12:09pen in my purse okay oh my god i'm putting my hand in the lindsey lohan's purse and now i'm
12:15pulling
12:16out my daughter's sunglasses how did those get in there that was me jen i saw them on the counter
12:22i thought they were lindsey so i put them in her purse mm-hmm that must be it yeah mm
12:26-hmm it is it mm-hmm
12:27mm-hmm uh just so you both know i speak mm-hmm too and i didn't steal anybody's sunglasses
12:33come on sam you should leave you gotta be kidding me thank you so much for stealing
12:39my sunglasses best date ever before you say anything you should know that my ex-wife thinks
12:47that all my girlfriends are thieves so it's cool no it's not i really wanted your family to like me
12:52oh that's so sweet you know what i think someone just stole my heart too soon
13:02coming
13:07he broke up with me who ryan he was supposed to break up with his wife
13:14okay i know you're going through a lot right now and i'm really glad you came but we need to
13:19get
13:19the stress on you sweetheart okay take off your clothes that's the second to the last thing he ever
13:25said to me i understand come on i don't help
13:32what are you doing i'm calling ryan
13:38hello who is this oh hi tyler can i talk to your daddy
13:46you don't want to do that oh okay well when he gets back will you tell him that he's a
13:54piece of
13:54garbage and he deserves your mommy
13:59thank you honey
14:04you're okay you're gonna be okay but we don't have a lot of time so just
14:29i don't know how many pieces are in a pie
14:37all right i can fix this i'm gonna have to
14:39touch your butt now that's how ryan and i met
14:44okay all right all right just arch it back
14:49okay and now i'm just gonna get the zipper
14:53it's never gonna zip you know what it doesn't matter what happened to you is what matters you are
15:00special and beautiful we have to get you to stop crying all right now just take a deep breath
15:12thank you betcha see you're feeling better already now just take another breath even deeper
15:24it's crushing my ribs do you like it i feel so pretty
15:34charlie thank you so much for making me go to the grocery store i'd love to go but i'm just
15:39always
15:39worried that paparazzi are gonna mob me we're not here in my world now nothing bad's gonna happen
15:44as long as you're with me what lilo steals sunglasses from mentally disturbed high school
15:52student i can't believe they just lie like that she's not mentally disturbed she says ocd oh really
15:59and i didn't steal anything oh yeah that too
16:04charlie do you really think it's a good idea that we're dating are you kidding me we're having
16:08a fantastic time look we just went grocery shopping yeah i mean i guess it is
16:14one of the most normal things i've done since i was in the parent trap hey you want normal i
16:18can line
16:18it up there's a post office dry cleaner jiffy lube buckle in babe you're about to go on the most
16:24ordinary ride of your life it does sound pretty good good it's great i mean look at these powdered donuts
16:34oh they do look really good close your eyes charlie close them
16:46oh good thank you thank you
16:49really brings out my eyes doesn't it yeah it brings out your nose actually thank you
16:55what do you say let me take this box of donuts upstairs and see what happens
17:06coming up next lindsey lohan caught in coke fueled sex rock
17:15next time i'll buy chocolate
17:21i got bad news don't tell me the police is surrounded by paparazzi i think i should go
17:25out there and talk to them no no no you have to have a pure person write a statement that
17:29way if
17:29something goes bad you have someone to fire it was me i would just give people uncensored honesty
17:35i think you gotta just lose the filter and say whatever pops in your head what's the worst that
17:38can happen i have to find a way to get out of here and get to the charity event because
17:43they're
17:43counting on me i promise i will figure out a way to get you there i'm so sorry about all
17:46this
17:47charlie if there's one thing you should know is when a guy apologizes to me it's a real turn off
17:52oh you mean like when i just said i was sorry that was not an apology that was me saying
17:55i'm sorry
17:56but you ain't getting no apology
18:00my god there's a ton of people with cameras out there it's like a japanese best buy
18:07that's right i called lacy i need her help i didn't know you're all going to patrick's fashion
18:11show but good job for supporting him like that charlie you have to hear this story so we finally
18:15get to my show at the design school can you make a long story short i lost to a jumpsuit
18:22hey lindsey uh lacy patrick ed nolan guys this is lindsey lindsey lohan right yes i am sir nice
18:30to meet you you're the problem with america thank you i get that a lot
18:39don't listen to him he tells me the same thing every day which means you and i are like soul
18:44mates can we be besties probably not yeah i thought so too we're so much alike
18:52i hope so because i'm gonna need you to go out there and pretend it's gonna be lindsey here put
18:56this on charlie trust me it's gonna work all she has to do is drive away the paparazzi will follow
19:00her then you and i can leave here without being seen wait so seriously this is your plan this is
19:03what you're doing it's gonna be fine lacy can you handle this hell yeah as soon as you pull away
19:11we go
19:12i got this wow look at him pushing and shoving this is going to test all her anger management skills
19:28wait she's in your crew yeah we all are so you're saying that you sent someone with anger issues into
19:35a crowd of paparazzi as me kind of she's been in therapy for a long time she's doing great oh
19:43god
19:43hurry she's coming back screw you i don't take crap from no one i'm lindsey freaking lohan
19:51don't worry i'm protecting your rep take a picture of this you filthy animals
19:57oh we did it yeah everyone thinks i'm lindsey lohan but i couldn't get to the car so now what
20:08do we do
20:10oh my god oh my god i am so sorry i mean no i'm not sorry you just have to
20:16go out there and face
20:17them you don't have to face them alone i'm here for you yeah hold on hold on get a little
20:23one
20:24little thread right here let me just get that for you
20:34so is it supposed to do that i'm sorry i'm no don't move don't talk and don't touch
20:52you're a nice guy but you're destroying my life so am i going to the event with you or not
20:59because i rented this tox amount like 80 bucks
21:08right let's get you out of here you can take my car ed call the cops and the paparazzi
21:12and patrick can uh lindsey borrow your dress lindsey lohan wearing my dress you heard him tubby take
21:18it off
21:22i really wish things had worked out differently we tried if you ever need anything call me
21:28yeah i already deleted you from my phone smart sorry about the mess in the back seat it's my
21:35kids recycling project all right you better get going you're gonna be late it's all clear
21:48oh look the cops are here
21:58i can't believe lindsey lohan got arrested wearing my dress best day ever thank you so much charlie
22:08well i like to help people that's what i do
22:21that's what i do
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