- 20 hours ago
Silent Butt Deadly
Nikki and Jonesy spend some quality time at Jonesy's house, until Nikki needs to use the bathroom next door to Jonesy's bedroom, and a faulty flusher causes a flood. Meanwhile, Jude starts secretly dating a senior named Melinda Wilson.
Nikki and Jonesy spend some quality time at Jonesy's house, until Nikki needs to use the bathroom next door to Jonesy's bedroom, and a faulty flusher causes a flood. Meanwhile, Jude starts secretly dating a senior named Melinda Wilson.
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TVTranscript
00:11So you got a job as a bathroom attendant at the Soft Rock Cafe?
00:14Yep, wages plus tips for handing out paper towels.
00:20Aren't you gonna wash your hands?
00:22No, because I didn't pee on my hands, Wyatt.
00:24So the real question is, why are you washing your hands?
00:33Gross, dude.
00:36Wyatt peed on his hands.
00:38Aw, man.
00:41The review says it's the perfect date movie, filled with car chases, hunks, hotties, and an ending that will make
00:47everyone cry.
00:48Is it playing at the Gigantoplex?
00:50Yep, it's called True Love and Fist Fights.
00:53Sounds great.
00:54Finally, a film that Jonesy and I will both enjoy. We're going tonight.
01:01Ew, that is so gross.
01:04Being gross is what guys do.
01:08Okay, seriously, not in front of me, okay?
01:10Okay, I promise. Not in front of you.
01:17Jonesy.
01:18What? I was behind you.
01:20Don't listen to them. I didn't pee on my hands.
01:22Ew.
01:23What?
01:25Oh, man.
01:33Love, I cannot live without you.
01:35And I not without you.
01:37There they are.
01:38Okay, what'd we miss?
01:40Have they fallen in love yet?
01:42Who's the dude in the hat?
01:44Do they weld these things shut?
01:46Come on.
01:48Open.
01:50Ow!
01:51Hey!
01:52Food!
01:53Give it back!
01:55Uh-oh.
01:57That's it. All of you, out.
02:00What?
02:00But we weren't doing anything.
02:01It was all them.
02:04Ugh!
02:08That was awesome, dudes.
02:12What do we do now?
02:13First, I'm going to the washroom to clean up.
02:15Me too.
02:16Wait for us. We'll be right back.
02:19Congrats, Casanova.
02:20This was supposed to be a date.
02:22You know, just you and me.
02:23Don't look at me. I didn't invite them.
02:25Oh, you didn't?
02:26No, I figured you did.
02:28What? Okay, we're out of here.
02:30We're not waiting?
02:31Nuh-uh.
02:32Cool.
02:34Oh, you've got to be kidding.
02:36Okay, just admit it.
02:37It was you that always wanted me.
02:39Oh, sure.
02:40That's why I dated all those other chicks.
02:43Yeah, I met them.
02:44And if anything, they were a cry for help.
02:46Well, either way, I'm really glad we're...
02:48Found them!
02:49Hey, thanks for waiting.
02:51Yeah, we could have lost you.
02:52Free nachos.
02:53No, Jude. Not free. Not.
02:56Date K. Free.
02:58Hey, tomorrow night, why don't we all...
02:59Enough with the we all.
03:03What?
03:04What?
03:04This was supposed to be a date night for us.
03:07Date. Night.
03:08Why didn't you just say so?
03:09I did.
03:10When I read you the review.
03:11Oh, did the review say how it ends?
03:14Because we all missed that part.
03:17Yes, we did.
03:18Thanks to you, jokers.
03:19My candy wouldn't open.
03:20Guys, you know we love you,
03:22but we need some space.
03:24You stay, we go.
03:27They left their nachos.
03:30Sweet.
03:34I really like you, Melinda.
03:38What's this for?
03:39We've kind of been dating for two weeks.
03:41It's our anniversary.
03:43But I didn't get...
03:45Oh, here.
03:49Just one piece, okay?
03:50Aw, thanks.
03:55I should get going.
03:56Hey, Melinda, wait.
03:57Why do we always meet in these weird places?
04:01Jude, my friends can't know we're dating.
04:03No one can.
04:04I like you, but I'm a senior.
04:06Uh-huh.
04:07And you aren't.
04:08Look, if you were older, taller, smarter, and cooler,
04:11this wouldn't be an issue.
04:13But I do really like you, okay?
04:15This just has to be our secret.
04:17Sure, I guess.
04:19Maybe tonight I can come over to your house.
04:21I'll let you know.
04:23Hey, your present.
04:25Uh, yeah.
04:26My friends might see me, so...
04:28Oh.
04:36Well, if they wanted to be alone,
04:38they could have just told us.
04:40I think she did, and we missed it.
04:41I feel kind of bad, actually.
04:43Yeah.
04:44They really don't get a lot of time alone.
04:46Well, then we should make it up to them.
04:48Give them some space.
04:50People want to be alone,
04:51then they should meet in a back-service hallway.
04:54That way, no one will ever even find out about them.
04:57And just because it's a secret
05:00doesn't make their love for each other any less real.
05:04What are you talking about?
05:06Nothing.
05:07Uh, that was a pretty specific nothing.
05:10How about tonight the four of us do something
05:12and let Jonesy and Nikki have some time alone?
05:14We could go to the amusement park.
05:16Okay.
05:18I don't know if I can make it.
05:20Why not?
05:21Well, you see, I got...
05:22I got, um...
05:23Other plans?
05:24I just can't.
05:26Uh, I'm...
05:29Well, uh...
05:30Oh, Jude has a secret!
05:32Tell me!
05:33You know I'm not really good with secrets,
05:35so please don't ask me.
05:38What are you doing tonight?
05:39What are you doing tonight?
05:40What are you doing tonight?
05:41What are you doing tonight?
05:42What are you doing tonight?
05:43What are you doing tonight?
05:43What are you doing tonight?
05:44What are you doing tonight?
05:44What are you doing tonight?
05:44What are you doing tonight?
05:45What are you doing tonight?
05:45What are you doing tonight?
05:46I feel kind of guilty about last night.
05:48Was I too hard on them?
05:49I talked to Jen this morning and everything's fine tonight. We watch movies at my place alone
05:56Okay, so pick something half decent
06:00Catch you later. All right
06:03So my good man, what do you recommend rabid albino vampires? What's it about rabid albino?
06:11Vampires I want to rent something for the woman. You know something she'd like well
06:15Then how about tears on my untamed heart at sunrise. Is it any good?
06:19I haven't seen it. It's for chicks
06:21Okay, what's it about a guy meets this girl on a train and he falls in love with her or
06:26something?
06:26Yeah, but he's too shy and she gets off the train before he can confess his feelings
06:31But he finds her diary on the floor and reads all about her life and how lonely she is
06:35Just like him and then the last page of the diary is all about how she wishes
06:41She had the courage to talk to this dude across from her on the train him
06:45Him she loves him back
06:47He knows he has to find her now because the time is running out. See are you sure you haven't
06:53seen this movie?
06:54Um
06:56No charge and that's why you can't tell anyone
07:04Boyfriend
07:05Stealing covert kisses planning secret rendezvous. Oh, this is so romantic
07:10Where are you meteor next behind a dumpster? Oh?
07:14Oh
07:21You two out we're watching a movie forget it moogu kung fu is on at eight. I don't care scoot.
07:29We were here first
07:31Oh
07:33Hey, I'm not even touching you. Oh forget it. Let's just watch the movie in your room
07:39Awesome
07:45Jude I thought you were meeting with
07:49Not us, uh, you know my
07:53Dentist yes your dentist your dentist works at night. Yeah
07:59He said that's when most cavities happen
08:02Okay, so let's start with the vomit comet. Yeah
08:05No every time we come here we start with the roller coaster and then everything after that feels like a
08:11letdown
08:11Well, then what's your suggestion? Well, I've made an itinerary. Oh, no
08:16It goes from the least to the most exciting activity with a change of location every 20 minutes fine. This
08:22is going to be fun
08:24It was too late
08:26Her stuff had come and gone
08:33Yeah, you okay? Yep sure fine
08:45Do you need more popcorn no no no I uh, I just
08:49Bathroom i'll pause it. No, don't I uh, I want you to keep watching. I think I can wait. Okay,
08:55be back
09:06Oh, is someone in the bathroom? Yeah, jen's mom is taking a bath. There's one upstairs right next to jonesy's
09:11room
09:11Yeah, I know. I know that's why I'm here got any other bathrooms nope
09:16Hope it's not number two. You know what Diego. You're a little
09:20I'll tell you later
09:31Oh, please come on what come on a little tricky sometimes
09:39Oh
09:42Slamming it won't help you got it. Oh, there you go. Thanks
10:13Oh
10:13La la la la la yeah, yeah, yeah la la la make a noise make a noise la la la
10:18la la
10:31Why why why why
10:39Oh no, oh no
10:46Okay, I admit the carousel ride was disappointing can we hit the vomit comet now not before the space annihilator
10:56tournament in the bouncy room
11:00Hello
11:03Who what you'll have to speak up you've got to help me is this nikki jen you're up nikki i'm
11:11passing into caitlin
11:13How goes the romance i'm in the bathroom the toilet is clogged
11:18I don't know what to do what's going on. No, no, please don't tell
11:23nikki clogged the toilet
11:26Whoa
11:28Sorry nikki, it's okay. We're all friends here. Oh, by the way congrats on melinda wilson nice catch
11:35Caitlin that was supposed no time dude nikki's in trouble
11:40Don't worry nikki. I know what to do. You'll need eyeliner
11:43an eyelash curler a hairbrush
11:45Curling iron set on medium to hot one cotton ball soaked in toner and a can of aerosol hairspray
11:51Uh, everything okay in there
11:54Just freshening up
11:59Okay
12:00While you're waiting for the curling iron to heat up take the eyeliner and put it in your mouth for
12:0415 seconds
12:05It softens it for smudging using the soaked cotton ball remove any dirt and grime from your face
12:12Wait, how is any of this stuff gonna unclog the toilet it won't but when you do come out you're
12:18gonna look great
12:19Caitlin do you have any ideas how freakishly mad I am right now when I get my
12:24Wow, she's really upset about something nikki nikki wait jude is dating melinda wilson
12:35Yes, high score nikki is trapped in your upstairs bathroom with a clogged toilet nikki leave it jonesy's dad will
12:41fix it
12:42It's too late for that. What do you mean? Well, let me put it to you this way
12:48Elvis has not left the building
12:51There's a plunger behind the toilet
12:57Why is she taking a shower
13:04Okay, i'm gonna try flushing again
13:10Uh, it's working. It's working. It's working. Uh, oh wait. Oh, no. Oh, no
13:15It's gonna overflow. Whatever you do don't jiggle the handle
13:18What?
13:19Ah, she jiggled the handle nikki lift the lid to the back of the toilet. You can stop the water
13:26What stop it?
13:28What the hell?
13:32Oh
13:38Nikki, Nikki, oh, no
13:41Hello?
13:42Jonesy, what happened to nikki?
13:44I don't know she ran right past me out of the house the bathroom's a disaster and there's something on
13:49the
13:50Jonesy jonesy listen to me jude is dating melinda wilson
13:54Oh, come on sweet whoa
14:02Oh gross
14:06It's gonna be fine
14:07Nikki one time I went through an entire date not knowing I had a booger hanging out of my nose
14:13And he still wanted to see you no actually I never heard from him again nikki
14:18It's different for you and jonesy. You've known each other forever. My bad is he's already forgotten about it
14:29Where are you going?
14:31Why do you want to go in there? What are you gonna do?
14:33Well, that's a little personal
14:35You sure you need to go?
14:37Oh darn we're closed for cleaning
14:40Yeah, no one can use this bathroom go away
14:44Jonesy yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm fired
14:50Did you and the little lady enjoy tears on my untamed heart at sunrise?
14:55Huh? Oh, yeah, we didn't finish it. What?
14:59How could you shut it off? Have you no love no soul something happened?
15:04Was it the apocalypse because there would be no other acceptable reason to press stop on this?
15:10Jonesy fell down into nikki's used toilet water
15:14Harsh it's no big deal. Are you kidding me? You've seen the horrible truth
15:19Women are just as gross as men women will never be as sexy to you as they once were gosh
15:26Sorry about you and nikki. You were a good couple. Oh, we'll work it out
15:32There's no going back jonesy the lights are on
15:35Welcome to my side of the planet the lonely side
15:41What if wayne's right? What if nikki and I can't get over this?
15:44I think the sooner you two talk the better it will be good call catch you two later
15:52Melinda
15:53Um, isn't your relationship supposed to be a secret?
15:57Yeah, but now that all you guys know it doesn't matter
16:00Melinda
16:02Maybe you shouldn't melinda
16:06Guess she couldn't hear me
16:11Uh, why was I the last to hear about this?
16:14I didn't tell anyone you told me my extra large mistake
16:19Jude being a secret boyfriend is never a good thing
16:22But if she isn't proud to be with you, then why are you hanging out with her because she's crazy
16:27hot?
16:27Don't you want to be able to hold her hand at school meet her friends invite her to parties?
16:32Yeah, then tell her she either accepts you as you are or it's over
16:36Okay
16:40Melinda I need to meet you right now
16:44Where?
16:45Okay, way to show some self-respect. I'm really proud of you. Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me
16:52I need to go wait in a garbage can
17:03Oh
17:04Hey!
17:05Oh, hi!
17:08So, how are you?
17:10Fine, mm-hmm. You?
17:12Should we talk about this or?
17:14Jiltie, I have to go. Uh, not go. Go. Uh, you know what? I have too many customers now, okay?
17:21Oh, okay. I guess we'll...
17:24Talk later.
17:25Okay.
17:25Bye.
17:27Bye.
17:33I need to know the truth. Are you embarrassed of me?
17:37Jude, of course not. Uh-oh.
17:39Ouch!
17:43Are you sure?
17:45Yes, but I can't believe that you told all of your friends about us.
17:48I didn't. I told one of my friends, and now they all know.
17:52That's the same thing.
17:53Not exactly.
17:55See?
17:55Ow!
17:59What were you saying?
18:00Was I saying... what?
18:03Never mind.
18:04Look, Jude, tell your friends to keep their mouths shut. If my friends hear about us, it's over.
18:20I'm late for work. Later.
18:39I'm late for work. Later.
18:39I can't go back.
18:40Since when do you take advice from, I've never been on a date with a woman, Wayne?
18:45Just remember how much of a low-down loser you were after you lost Nikki the last time.
18:50And how hard it was to get her back.
18:51And that you're a better person when you're with her.
18:55And that she clogged your toilet.
18:57Jude!
18:58True story.
19:00Oh, man.
19:01Fine, Jonesy. Take Wayne's advice. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll end up just like him.
19:06Bitter, greasy, and alone for the rest of your life.
19:10I can fix this!
19:14Now, what about you and Melinda?
19:16I think I just came up with a plan. I'll let you know how it goes.
19:21Fine, then.
19:21Meeting adjourned.
19:33I'm gross all the time. All the time!
19:36And you accept that. So I can totally accept that you were gross once.
19:41Hey, thanks.
19:54All right. I got your message. Why am I here?
19:57I figured out how you can prove I'm an important dude to you.
20:02Fine. How?
20:03How?
20:04What is that smell?
20:06I farted.
20:07Ew!
20:09If you can't stay with me now, this is never gonna last.
20:14That one slipped out.
20:23Goodbye, Melinda. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
20:29That's the smell of a love that was never meant to be.
20:34That's the smell of a love that was never meant to be.
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