- 12 hours ago
The Lords of Malltown
Jude teaches Wyatt to loosen up by coaching him to skateboard like a pro, while Caitlin makes Jen go out with her on an unwanted double-date. Jonesy also works as a janitor in disguise only to be fired for hiding trash throughout the mall and not properly cleaning up the place (the episode title is a reference to the 2005 skateboarding film Lords of Dogtown).
Jude teaches Wyatt to loosen up by coaching him to skateboard like a pro, while Caitlin makes Jen go out with her on an unwanted double-date. Jonesy also works as a janitor in disguise only to be fired for hiding trash throughout the mall and not properly cleaning up the place (the episode title is a reference to the 2005 skateboarding film Lords of Dogtown).
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TVTranscript
00:00Time's less!
00:07Hey Wyatt, fashion tip.
00:09You don't need to wear the hat until you're actually at work.
00:12Huh?
00:13Oh, why didn't you tell me I was still wearing this?
00:16I might as well wear a sign that says I earned minimum wage.
00:19I was waiting to see how long it would take you to notice.
00:21Pre-caffeine, no fair.
00:23Notch.
00:25Ah, what's chafing his butt?
00:28Hey, one no-foam soy chai latte?
00:31One jet fuel mocha stimu latte.
00:33Man, do I need this coffee.
00:34I was up till 3 a.m. writing new songs for the Burger Bible.
00:38The what?
00:38Burger McFlipsters has a song Bible and Tim ordered me to rewrite them all.
00:42Ah, I have the worst writer's block.
00:44Wyatt, Bono would have trouble writing an ode to a slab of meat.
00:47Don't beat yourself up.
00:50Excuse me, we're on break and newsflash, you're not.
00:53So hurry up with those caps.
00:57Next!
00:59What are these?
01:00You've got three choices today.
01:02Small, medium, and large.
01:03Go crazy.
01:05Ah!
01:07Good one.
01:08We ordered no-foam soy chai.
01:10Yeah, yeah, I know.
01:11What a pretentious waste of five bucks.
01:13$4.50 of it's just gonna go back into the grind me marketing machine.
01:16What's your problem?
01:17They all taste the same.
01:18Stop kidding yourself.
01:19Okay, let me guess.
01:20You don't know how to make them, do you?
01:22Busted.
01:22I don't suppose that book on your lap is a training manual.
01:25Okay, wait.
01:27Nikki is reminding someone to read their training manual?
01:29This is too funny.
01:31A trained monkey could make lattes.
01:33It's not that hard.
01:34Do you even know what a real coffee tastes like?
01:36You're a coffee sheep.
01:37Tell me what overpriced sludge to drink.
01:40This guy sounds like you.
01:42I dare you to drink a plain, medium, regular coffee and see if your world comes tumbling down.
01:47You are gonna make me that latte blender boy.
01:49Or else?
01:49Or else I'll get your sorry butt fired.
01:52Ooh, now I'm scared.
01:54Come on, Nikki.
01:54We're late.
01:55Fine.
01:56Ugh!
01:58Ugh!
01:59Can you believe that minimum wage, know-it-all, wisecracking...
02:03Nikki?
02:04Well, he thinks it's just him against the man.
02:06So much smarter than the rest of us.
02:08Nikki?
02:09Nikki?
02:10Can't even make a soy nofo-
02:11Nikki!
02:12What?
02:12You may want to go easy on the sugars.
02:15You like him, don't you?
02:17I do not like him!
02:20Well, I don't.
02:27I'm like the only dude at work now.
02:29Wyatt got fired and Wayne's on vacation.
02:33Are you kidding me?
02:34You're laughing, man!
02:35Underground video is your territory now.
02:39Here at the arcade, I'm the business.
02:43Yeah, it's Jonesy.
02:45Look at that.
02:45Look at him.
02:45Wow, he's cool, man.
02:47When I come in, these punks douse their drawers.
02:50Watch.
02:55Sweet!
02:56Ugh!
02:56And now for the game that made the Jonesmeister a legend.
03:00Space Annihilator.
03:04Scram!
03:12Oh, yeah!
03:13Bring it home to Jonesy!
03:14Oh!
03:15Did you see that?
03:15You're a genius!
03:19Jonesy's lying.
03:20He can't talk right now.
03:21What's your name again?
03:23Uh, Jen?
03:24Masterson?
03:25Tell him that if he doesn't start picking up his underwear around the house,
03:28I'm gonna hang it off the lemon!
03:30Sorry, Nikki.
03:31Where were we?
03:32Well, that little slime ball tells me to order a regular coffee from...
03:35Wait.
03:35Are you guys talking about Grumpy Hawkeye had to grind me on level three?
03:39You have a name for him?
03:41We have names for all the hot guys in the mall.
03:45I love the way Grumpy Hawkeye never shaves.
03:49Or smiles.
03:50Look, we are not getting all boy crazy over this guy.
03:54But it's so fun!
03:56We don't have any boys to go crazy over ourselves.
03:58Can't we at least go crazy over your boy?
04:01We can go proxy boy crazy.
04:03Woo!
04:04Okay, that's really weird.
04:06And he's not my boy.
04:07Not interested.
04:08Grumpy Hawkeye's hot for Nikki!
04:10Uh, no.
04:11Grumpy Nikki's grumpy for Grumpy Hawkeye.
04:13What am I saying?
04:15Okay, at least tell us what sign he is.
04:17Ugh!
04:19Probably a Virgo.
04:20You have anything caffeinated back there?
04:22I'll get you coffee.
04:24Uh, it's my turn.
04:26She is so hooked.
04:28I heard that.
04:31Hey.
04:32What?
04:34Cool.
04:35Jonesy's about to beat the all-time world record on Space Annihilator.
04:38Do you think he'll win a shopping spree?
04:40Or a free spa weekend?
04:41Oh, that'd be good.
04:42No.
04:43He'll have the highest score on the planet.
04:45He'll be totally famous.
04:46That's it?
04:47No spa weekend?
04:48Uh, come on with me.
04:50We'll just go check it out.
04:52Yeah!
04:54All right!
04:55All right, dude!
04:57Almost there!
04:58This is so exciting.
04:59What does Jonesy see in this place?
05:02I can't stand it!
05:03The noise, the mindless games.
05:05Dude is 150 points away from the world record.
05:12If he wins this round, he'll be immortal.
05:15Right.
05:16How long has he been here anyway?
05:18About four hours.
05:19I better win soon.
05:20I ate a burrito for breakfast that's just dying to get out.
05:24Whoa!
05:25Close one!
05:26Come on!
05:27Yes, he's in my sights!
05:30This is it!
05:34Yeah!
05:35You did it!
05:36You did it, bro!
05:37All right, Jonesy!
05:39I'm impressed.
05:40Wow.
05:41Hey, congratulations, man.
05:42You did it.
05:43You're looking at the Space Annihilator World Champion here.
05:46Yeah!
05:47Yeah!
05:48Yeah, Jonesy!
05:49These hands are a gift, and I take this gift seriously.
05:53And I plan to make the most of this title to inspire young people everywhere to spend as much time
05:58in the arcade as is humanly possible.
06:01That way, Jonesy!
06:02Yeah, Jonesy!
06:03Good man, baby!
06:04And as world champion, Jonesy, you get this one-month free pass to every game in Game World, plus staff
06:10washroom privileges.
06:11All right!
06:14I gotta go.
06:16Aw.
06:18Gangway!
06:18Too bad Nikki wasn't here to see Jonesy win.
06:21I bet she and Hot Grumpy Guy are hitting it off right now.
06:24Are you talking about that guy at Grind Me?
06:25Because I asked Nikki if she liked him this morning, and she said no.
06:28You have so much to learn about Love, Wyatt.
06:31They're all sisters.
06:34You're late again.
06:36Sorry, I went to the wrong Grind Me.
06:38All 40 locations look exactly the same.
06:41People only spend five bucks a pop on this black guck because caffeine is a stimulant.
06:45You know what you are?
06:46You're a glorified caffeine pusher.
06:48You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
06:50Don't!
06:50You've got a customer!
06:53Oh, it's Princess Latte.
06:55One extra hot, skinny, silky, double-whiped caramel chai frappe latte with cinnamon sprinkles.
07:00You do realize that no combination of anything in this store can go into the blender and come out edible.
07:05Don't!
07:06Get grinding, blender boy.
07:08Okay.
07:09Do your intestines.
07:19Hmm.
07:20What?
07:21Yeah, I asked for cinnamon sprinkles.
07:24These sprinkles are chocolate.
07:26Guess little barista boy's gonna have to start all over again.
07:29You have got to be kidding.
07:31Everything okay here?
07:32Is it?
07:33Fine.
07:38Here it is.
07:40Man, I take a good picture.
07:42Does it bother you that you're about five years older than everybody else in here?
07:47Heck no!
07:47It's a testament to my staying power.
07:50You're gonna play a few free rounds on your champion game, bro?
07:54Oh, yeah!
07:54Gentlemen, watch and learn.
07:58What happened to the score?
08:03Norm!
08:04What are you doing, man?
08:05After you left yesterday, Nelson beat your highest score on Space Annihilator.
08:09Huh.
08:10That kid is good.
08:19So you lucked out yesterday, huh?
08:21Nothing to do with luck, my friend.
08:23He's a legend.
08:24Shut up, punk.
08:25Let's settle this right now.
08:27Two-player annihilator, winner takes all.
08:29You're on.
08:30I can't watch.
08:32Me neither, dude.
08:39No!
08:40No!
08:41Don't come on!
08:42Shh!
08:43Ugh!
08:44Ugh!
08:46Girls, girls, girls.
08:48There's tons more silk scarf belts in the back.
08:50Not in pink.
08:52Ugh!
08:52So, who wants a coffee?
08:55You want to buy us coffees?
08:58Uh-huh.
08:59What's the catch?
09:00No catch.
09:01It's my turn.
09:01But it's been your turn for, like, eight months.
09:04Remember the time you went for coffees and took the rest of the day off?
09:08Or the time you got as decaps instead of regular coffees and our sales numbers sucked?
09:12Yep.
09:13Good times.
09:14Hey, is it so hard to believe that I just want to be nice?
09:17Yes.
09:19Go, go, go, go!
09:21Yes!
09:21Yes!
09:23Oh, come on!
09:29You're gonna get it.
09:31Shut up, punk.
09:36A police?
09:37Joseph.
09:38Norm?
09:40When can you have this baby fixed?
09:42I've got a title to defend here.
09:44It'll be ready when it's ready.
09:47Hey, InShot.
09:48Yeah!
09:49Show us what you're made of.
09:50One-on-one asteroid hunter.
09:53Oh, you're on?
09:53Like DEF CON.
09:56Come on, come on!
09:58Huh?
10:01What a piece of crap game!
10:04Get me a pop!
10:05Get your own.
10:06What?
10:07What?
10:12Hey!
10:13The Illustrated Hitchhiker's Guide?
10:15What, you need pictures to get through it?
10:17You like me, don't you?
10:19Excuse me?
10:19I don't know anybody who drinks this much coffee in one day.
10:22Especially this sludge.
10:24Okay, you are completely self-delusional.
10:26I do not like...
10:26Because I like you.
10:28A lot.
10:30Uh...
10:31What?
10:31Don't tell me the sharpest tongue in the mall has nothing to say.
10:35Um...
10:36I'm Stone.
10:37Nikki.
10:39Nice to meet you.
10:40Want to catch a movie with me tonight?
10:41That indie film, One Night in Red Deer, is at the Gigantoplex.
10:45Sure.
10:45Red Deer.
10:47Sounds...
10:47Uh...
10:48Yeah.
10:55Hi, you are.
10:56Have a khaki day.
10:59Nikki's been back to grind me.
11:01Things are definitely heating up.
11:08Is that one mine?
11:10Yep.
11:10Here you go.
11:11Hi, Nikki.
11:14You weren't just hanging out with Grumpy Hawkeye, were you?
11:18Of course not.
11:20Anyway, we're going to the movies tonight.
11:22Yep.
11:22Chick flick night.
11:25We were thinking of going to see a girl in her hair.
11:27Oh.
11:28Uh...
11:28I can't.
11:29I'm working late.
11:31We can wait until the late show.
11:33Right, Jen?
11:34Yeah, I don't mind.
11:35Uh...
11:35Actually...
11:36I'm kind of tired.
11:38I think I'll just head home early.
11:39Oh.
11:40Okay.
11:41Was it me, or was Nikki lying?
11:44Through her teeth.
11:45You know what this means.
11:47She's so hooked.
11:48Eee!
11:49Eee!
11:50Ah!
11:58Okay, we need to stay nearby in case Grumpy Hawkeye shows up.
12:01I don't want to miss a minute of this.
12:03I'll get some snacks.
12:04No stakeout is complete without mini brownie puffs.
12:07Or Miss Piggy's chips.
12:09Right.
12:12He's a speed demon.
12:14It could take weeks of full-time practice to beat him.
12:16That little dude whip your butt?
12:18No.
12:19He just won a few rounds.
12:20I'll nail him tomorrow, though.
12:22Maybe it's time you're retired.
12:23You've already got the best space annihilator score in the world.
12:26Yeah, for 20 minutes.
12:27It's not helping, dude.
12:29Now you can pass on the torch.
12:31To that little twerp?
12:32Are you kidding me?
12:33You guys don't know what that arcade meant to me.
12:35No matter what went wrong in my life, if I lost a hockey game or got rejected by some chick,
12:41I could walk into that arcade and know I was money.
12:44Well, if it's that important to you, you need to get back on your horse and win that title back.
12:49Yeah, make the mini dude bow down to the mighty Jonesy.
12:53You're right.
12:54I'll take that title back from that little fart no matter what it takes.
12:57Stealing, lying, cheating, sky's the limit.
13:00Thanks, dudes.
13:03Not really where I was heading with that.
13:07Guess who?
13:08Well, based on the smell of fresh ground coffee, I'd have to say...
13:12Blender Boy?
13:12Blender Boy, the one and only. Ready for the movie?
13:15Sure. Let's go.
13:18Oh, Nikki.
13:20Where are you going?
13:21Uh, oh.
13:22But your shift doesn't end for another hour.
13:25I'm afraid I'm going to have to take this young lady to emergency.
13:28What? Why?
13:29She has a severe case of corporate oppression.
13:32Well, better hurry, Doc. My soul is almost crushed.
13:37She has soul?
13:41I didn't just get you fired, did I?
13:43Ugh.
13:44In my dreams.
13:45Oh.
13:45I don't know about that guy. He's like a male version of Nikki.
13:49Yeah. It's like she's dating her doppelganger.
13:52You know her double?
13:55Her evil twin?
13:57Oh, yeah. I've read all about this.
14:00Dating someone exactly like you can be brutal.
14:03Especially if you're Nikki.
14:04Yeah, she'd get on her own nerves pretty fast.
14:07This could be a disaster.
14:08We've got to stop them from getting too serious.
14:11Let's follow them.
14:12Oh, I guess this means we're going to miss a girl and her hair.
14:15We are such good friends.
14:17Don't forget the chips.
14:33Oh, sorry, man.
14:37Oh!
14:39Jonesy!
14:40What? It was an accident.
14:44Jonesy!
14:45What?
14:51Jonesy!
14:54Oh, my!
14:55I've dropped my change!
14:58Oops!
15:07Smarten up, Jonesy,
15:08or I'll take your gold pass back.
15:10Just wait until tonight's big match.
15:13You'll see who's money!
15:20Are your co-workers like triplets or something?
15:23Yeah, they're clones.
15:25Manufactured at head office and pre-programmed to get on my nerves.
15:28What about you?
15:29What's with the Java Joe job?
15:31Ugh.
15:31Just biding my time until I graduate and then hitchhike around Nepal.
15:35Good plan.
15:36Now stop hogging the popcorn.
15:37I don't remember offering you any.
15:39Come on.
15:40Hand it over.
15:40Nuh-uh.
15:41Come on.
15:42Nuh-uh.
15:42Give it to me!
15:43Come on.
15:44Are you kidding?
15:45Can you see them?
15:46What's going on?
15:47Oh, no.
15:48They're fighting already.
15:49I knew it.
15:50Oh, this could get ugly.
15:52Poor Nikki.
15:53Let's get down there.
15:54Wait.
15:55We don't want to embarrass her unless it's absolutely necessary.
15:58We'll move in close, but stay undercover.
16:01Right.
16:02Can I just...
16:02Sorry.
16:03Excuse me.
16:03Coming through.
16:04Excuse me.
16:05Scared yet?
16:06I don't generally get scared at comedies.
16:09Too bad.
16:09I'm a good cuddler.
16:10Easy, Tiger.
16:15I know, but I do.
16:17Hey, play along with me.
16:19Don't turn around.
16:20I need to teach somebody a lesson.
16:22What do you need me to do?
16:23I don't mind.
16:25Nikki, thanks for offering to pay for the whole evening.
16:28That's okay.
16:29I stole all the money from the khaki bar in cash.
16:32Good thinking.
16:34Have any more?
16:35Uh, no, but we can lift someone's wallet on the way out.
16:39Nikki, have you lost your mind?
16:42This guy is a criminal.
16:44I'll hire him to shut you up.
16:46Get your fat head out of the way.
16:47These are my friends who won't mind their own business.
16:50Caitlyn and Jen.
16:51Hey.
16:52Hi.
16:52So you knew we were here the whole time?
16:55Yep.
16:55So you're not a thief?
16:57Uh-uh.
16:59Following you is Caitlyn's idea.
17:01Yeah.
17:01It so wasn't.
17:03What are you two doing in here?
17:04We were worried about you, Nikki.
17:06Shut up.
17:07You skipped our chick flick date and lied to us.
17:09Then went off on a date with Grumpy Hot Guy.
17:11The name is Stone.
17:13Hi.
17:13Nice to meet you.
17:15I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
17:25Tonight is the night when you stop being a pain in my butt, little one.
17:29Just hit start so we can get this over with.
17:42Come on.
17:45Come on.
18:10Look, Jonesy.
18:11The way you've been acting, I'm gonna have to take your gold pass away.
18:14What?
18:15My pass?
18:21Come on, man.
18:23Let's get out of here.
18:25Maybe you were right, Wyatt.
18:27Maybe I am past my peak.
18:29You should just take me out to pasture and shoot me.
18:32Whoa.
18:33Dude is messed up.
18:35Hey, Jonesy.
18:38Hey there, beautiful.
18:39Or not so messed up.
18:42You know, maybe it is time to hang up the old arcade trophies and focus on more mature pursuits.
18:48Like chicks.
18:49Later.
18:49Hey, baby.
18:50Have you ever played doubles on Space Annihilator?
18:54Dude's still messed up.
19:01Look, I'm sorry about my friends.
19:03They're a bit protective.
19:05No worries.
19:06But now we have to come back and see the movie again.
19:07Your treat.
19:08Yeah, well, I think I'll be choosing a good movie next time.
19:15Okay, then.
19:17So, I had a rotten time tonight.
19:19Yeah, me too.
19:21Me too.
19:21The worst.
19:22Can I get your number so I can never call you?
19:24Not a chance.
19:27See ya.
19:28See ya.
19:30Okay, we are so sorry, Nikki.
19:33We were just trying to help.
19:35Oh, come on.
19:36You two were acting like crazy people.
19:38Stone is kind of important to me.
19:41I don't want to blow it.
19:42Promise me you won't tell the guys yet.
19:43I don't want Jonesy to hear about this the wrong way.
19:46Yeah, he's so sensitive.
19:48Promise?
19:49I promise.
19:57I give 50-50 odds that Stone calls you today, Nikki.
20:00Oh, it's way more like 80-20.
20:02Hey, remember, you promised not to talk about it.
20:05Here come the guys.
20:06Yo.
20:08Hey.
20:08Hi.
20:09Hey, I heard you were a class act yesterday at the arcade.
20:13There's nothing cooler than knowing when to pass on the glory.
20:16Yep.
20:17He made us proud.
20:18Thanks for not hoisting my dirty underwear onto the lemon, Jen.
20:21Yeah, well, uh...
20:22Who wants tacos?
20:24I'm in.
20:25Got any money?
20:27Dude!
20:29Is that your underwear?
20:31Dude!
20:31You look pretty crusty.
20:33Thanks, Jen.
20:33Oh my god.
20:34Dude!
20:35Dude!
20:36Dude!
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