- 23 minutes ago
The Fake Date
Jen tries to impress Charlie Dobbs, a new employee at the Penalty Box, by making him jealous. She finds herself a "fake date" to make her plan work, and Jude is the one who must become her boyfriend for a couple of hours. Nikki and Jonesy get stuck in an elevator.
Jen tries to impress Charlie Dobbs, a new employee at the Penalty Box, by making him jealous. She finds herself a "fake date" to make her plan work, and Jude is the one who must become her boyfriend for a couple of hours. Nikki and Jonesy get stuck in an elevator.
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00:00TIMES LAST
00:35Can I please get some service here?
00:38What?
00:39I said, can I please get some service?
00:42Ew! I mean, I'm sorry, sir. Right away.
00:51Hello?
00:53Sorry, what did you want to get?
00:54Time out! I'll field this one, Masterson.
01:00And you have yourself a top-scoring day.
01:04Masterson!
01:06What? Oh, sorry, Coach.
01:08I see you noticed our new employee, Charlie Dobbs.
01:11Charlie Dobbs? Uh, no.
01:14Does he work here?
01:16Save it! I know that look on your face.
01:18Remember the penalty box employee policy.
01:20Anytime feelings of love arise on the job, 50 push-ups.
01:24Yes, sir.
01:25Now, since I've just mentioned love, I'm going to do 50 myself.
01:34I'll get to the other 46 later.
01:36But boy, that feels good.
01:38Hand me one of those sports towels, Masterson.
01:41Ew.
01:41Mark that down 20%.
01:43Good job.
01:46Yes, Coach.
01:58Sometimes the helmets can be a bit confusing.
02:01Let me do it for you.
02:02Thanks.
02:03Don't even worry about it.
02:04I've done it a million times.
02:08Dobbs!
02:09Center field!
02:10I need you to change this display!
02:12Gotta go.
02:17So, uh, I thought, since you're new, you might want to, I don't know, go for a coffee with me?
02:25Since we'll be working together and all.
02:27Oh, that's nice, but actually, I've gotta go.
02:31Gotta go?
02:31Me too.
02:32I've got so much work to do.
02:34So, see you later.
02:36Ouch.
02:37You all right there?
02:38Fine.
02:39Nice move, Jen.
02:49I know what's going on here.
02:52Uh, it's not what it looks like.
02:56It's exactly what it looks like!
02:58Jen's gotta crush you!
03:05She really needed to try that shirt on.
03:18Huh, is that actually text on his screen?
03:20Yeah!
03:21He's writing a guide on how to score chicks for guys that suck at scoring chicks.
03:25Isn't that kinda like the pot calling the kettle black?
03:28Oh, forget it.
03:29So, what inspired this bout of literary genius?
03:33My new job at Booktropolis.
03:34You should see some of the books in there.
03:36What a rip-off!
03:37The cat in the hat?
03:38Please!
03:38It only took me 20 minutes to read that one.
03:42That's because it's a children's book.
03:44Yeah.
03:45Well, if people will buy a book about a cat who's wearing a hat, and by the way, they don't,
03:50then this will be a bestseller.
03:52Oh, I'm sure.
03:54Check it out.
03:55Chapter 4, Avoiding the Parents.
03:57Check it out.
03:58Chapter 5, Avoiding the Author.
04:00Hey, penalty box girl.
04:01Who's getting a major for hooking a babe?
04:04Not me.
04:05Charlie still doesn't know I exist.
04:07Common problem.
04:08Chapter 1 of my book, Making the First Move.
04:10Don't go there.
04:11You're writing a book?
04:12She went there.
04:13Yes, as a matter of fact.
04:15And it doesn't matter whether you're a guy or a chick.
04:17You always have to make the first move.
04:20Okay.
04:21Trust me.
04:22If you wanna get this guy's attention, I can help you.
04:25Really?
04:25Sure.
04:26See, all guys want is to think they're a playa.
04:30Work the ego angle.
04:31If you can make him believe that he's all that, you've got him.
04:34Don't listen to him.
04:35Wouldn't you be more attracted to a guy who knows just what to say to the ladies?
04:39Sure.
04:40You know any?
04:41Jonesy, if you could do this for me.
04:43It's as good as done.
04:44Let's go.
04:46See you guys.
04:49This should be interesting.
04:50In a train wreck kind of way.
04:56Hound Dog to Hawk.
04:57Come in Hawk.
04:58Do you read me?
04:59Hawk here.
05:02Proceed to pray.
05:05Okay, say, hey Charlie.
05:07Hey Charlie.
05:08I'll bet you're good at scoring.
05:10I'll bet you're good at scoring.
05:12Actually, I did get 58 points in last year's season.
05:15Highest score on the team.
05:17What an idiot.
05:18What an idiot.
05:19Oh, not you!
05:21Jonesy!
05:22Jonesy?
05:22Jen, don't blow it!
05:24I'm not blowing it!
05:25Blowing what?
05:26Nothing!
05:27Um...
05:27Masterson!
05:28Excuse me a minute.
05:30Abort mission!
05:31Abort!
05:31Abort!
05:32Abort!
05:32Get out of there!
05:33Whoa!
05:35Ow!
05:36You alright there?
05:37Huh?
05:38Yeah.
05:44I'll bet you're good at scoring.
05:47Gimme 50!
05:48Gimme 50!
05:48Now!
05:48Now!
05:49Now!
05:49Now!
05:49One...
05:51Two...
05:52That was so humiliating.
05:54Whoa!
05:55Whoa!
05:57Another satisfied customer, Jonesy?
06:02I did everything except throw myself at his feet.
06:05Actually, you did that too.
06:06Ugh!
06:07You were right, Nicky.
06:08I never should have listened to him.
06:10See?
06:10If you would all just accept that Nicky's always right, your lives would be so much easier.
06:15But why isn't Charlie even the slightest bit interested?
06:18I'm cute!
06:19Aren't I?
06:20Maybe he's...
06:22You know...
06:25Oh...
06:25Is he?
06:27No!
06:28So what do I do?
06:29The staff party's tomorrow and I wanted to go with him!
06:32That's it!
06:33Make him jealous!
06:34If you want Charlie to want you, take someone else to the party!
06:38I don't get it.
06:39Guys want what they can't have.
06:41So, get a fake date to take you to the party.
06:43When he sees you're taken, he'll have to have you!
06:46Ah, jealousy.
06:48The time-honored way to a man's heart.
06:50But where can I find a fake date on such short notice?
06:53Are you kidding?
06:54Your store has the best staff party in the entire mall!
06:58I'd do it.
06:59Me too.
07:00Yeah, count me in!
07:02Hey, it's free food!
07:04See?
07:04I'll find you the perfect guy!
07:15Whoa, hey fake date dudes!
07:17Am I late?
07:18Just in time.
07:19Back of the lines that way.
07:20The legendary PB party!
07:24Last year they gave out a brand new snowboard as the door prize.
07:28You'll definitely be the one, dude!
07:31Poor sucker doesn't have a chance.
07:35Stand by, guys.
07:38Hi, Kate.
07:40Set to go?
07:40Yep.
07:41You ready?
07:41All set.
07:43Let's see him.
07:44Okay, listen up.
07:46Suitability for Jen will be judged on your interview with me and your answer to a skill testing question.
07:51Oh, and hygiene is important too.
07:53Ew.
07:55Contestant number one.
07:55How would you treat Jen if you went out with her on a date?
07:59Like a princess.
08:03Excuse me, contestant number one?
08:05A girl like that arrives alone at the penalty box party.
08:08What would you do?
08:09So there's absolutely no chance of me getting any, uh, action on this date with Jen, right?
08:16Ugh.
08:17As if.
08:18None.
08:19In that case, I'd definitely go for the fox.
08:22You don't stay on first when the coach is waving you to second.
08:25Ew.
08:26You're disqualified.
08:28For what?
08:29For cheating on your fake girlfriend, that's what.
08:31And for using a baseball analogy for scoring with a girl.
08:35Next.
08:37Looks like you got benched.
08:39Next.
08:42Next.
08:44Aw, you brought me a vanilla butterscotch latte.
08:47How sweet.
08:49That's one word for it.
08:50How can you drink flavored coffee?
08:53Contestant number four.
08:54Opening your mind to new experiences makes for a funner date.
08:57But flavored coffee is just wrong.
08:59Never correct a girl.
09:01Now go get me some cream and sugar.
09:03You're putting cream and sugar in it too?
09:05Wyatt.
09:08Let's check out what contestant number four is listening to.
09:12Good idea.
09:14Huh?
09:16No.
09:17Huh?
09:17Turn it off.
09:18It's a song I'm working on.
09:19It's not done yet.
09:20Okay, okay.
09:22But huge marks off for that performance.
09:24So not up to par.
09:25No, my song.
09:27My song.
09:28I think he just invented a new dance.
09:31Seriously, guys.
09:32Next.
09:34Next.
09:34Very funny.
09:35You're killing me, really.
09:39Next.
09:41Now, if you were Gen State.
09:43Whoa, chill.
09:45You want something to drink?
09:46You must be sick of making juice for everyone.
09:49Let me do it.
09:54Ouch.
09:55Someone must be harshing on your mellow.
09:57Your shoulders are so tight.
09:59A massage too?
10:01Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.
10:04Jude!
10:05Guess what?
10:06We've decided you're my fake date.
10:09Awesome.
10:09No way.
10:10Jude gets to go?
10:12Never underestimate a man with a six-year-old snowboard, my friend.
10:17Gonna score me some new gear.
10:19Look at it this way.
10:20It's not so much that Jude won.
10:21It's more that you two were rejected.
10:23I've been turned down for dates before, but this is the first time I've ever been turned down for a
10:27pretend date.
10:28It was just a matter of time.
10:30Hey, this is gonna make a very awkward, painful chapter in my book.
10:34Aw, there, there.
10:35I'm sure all the chapters in your book will be awkward and painful.
10:39This reminds me of that movie, Kung Fu Cop Partners.
10:42You just picked the wrong guy.
10:44No, idiot.
10:45He said you just kicked the thong guy.
10:47No, I saw the movie and he said you picked the wrong guy.
10:51I saw the movie too and he said you kicked the thong guy.
10:54I saw the movie and he said get a life.
11:07It's zero hour.
11:09You two look great.
11:11Make me proud.
11:12Oh, wait.
11:14Perfect.
11:16Walk ever so slightly behind Jen and whatever you do, do not lock her light.
11:20Right.
11:21Should I hold her hand?
11:23No.
11:24Now have fun.
11:25No way.
11:27Masterson!
11:28Oof.
11:29Hey.
11:30Uh, where's Dobbs?
11:31Dobbs?
11:32No, he's out getting ice.
11:34So it's fries and lemonade.
11:35Jude.
11:36Yes, fake date?
11:37Don't call me fake date.
11:39We need sustenance.
11:40This could be a long night.
11:42Get us some hors d'oeuvres.
11:43Wordy wadies?
11:45Food, Jude.
11:46Food.
11:46It's free.
11:47Food.
11:47I can do that.
11:49Okay.
11:50Love is just a game.
11:52Right?
11:52Right.
11:53And I'm really good at sports.
11:55Right.
11:56I can do this.
11:58Time for round one.
12:01He says, you just kicked the thong guy.
12:04That is so dumb.
12:05Why would he say that?
12:06Because he just kicked the guy who was wearing the thong.
12:08Admit it.
12:09You're wrong.
12:10Unless you're buying, it's called loitering.
12:12You want to give me a hand?
12:13Hey, you picked the wrong guy.
12:15You kicked the...
12:16You know what?
12:16I'm not even going to argue with you anymore.
12:18You're wrong.
12:18Simple as that.
12:19There's one way to find out.
12:21Kung Fu Cop Partners is playing at the Gigantoplex in 10 minutes.
12:25Go to a movie with you?
12:26In your dreams.
12:27Unless you're afraid to find out you're wrong.
12:29You know what?
12:30I'm going to go to the movie with you just to see your face when that line comes up.
12:33Fine.
12:34Fine.
12:35Uh, did I just agree to go to a movie with you?
12:38Oh, yeah.
12:39I was afraid I did that.
12:46Charlie is so not paying attention to me.
12:49He's barely even looked over here.
12:50Do I have to sit here the whole night and hold your purse?
12:55Wyatt, how'd you score this gig?
12:57The guy they had lined up got food poisoning.
12:59How'd you get in?
13:00It's called the Little Squeeze.
13:01We use it for private parties.
13:03I just told the guy at the door Coach Halder hired me.
13:06How's Jen doing?
13:07Not too good.
13:11Time for a pep talk.
13:13Okay, focus.
13:15Don't look at him.
13:16Be mysterious.
13:18He's probably just playing hard to get.
13:20And stand on your own so he can see your...
13:21He's kind...
13:26Have you got any Justin Timberlake?
13:29Sorry, dude.
13:30I'm fresh out.
13:31Justin Timberlake?
13:33I love Justin Timberlake!
13:35You do?
13:36Oh, yeah.
13:37I love that one, uh, Loving You?
13:40Lately?
13:41That is not a Justin Timberlake song.
13:46Do you wanna dance?
13:48I'm going to the girls' room.
13:51You want a lemon shooter?
13:53Nah, I think I'm gonna have one of these energy drinks.
14:07One, please.
14:08Make it two.
14:09Am I paying for you, too?
14:10Thanks for asking, yeah.
14:13Could you get me a drink and a popcorn?
14:15You may as well supersize them.
14:16Thanks, Nikki.
14:17You're a pal.
14:18Gee, going to a movie with you is like taking my six-year-old nephew.
14:21Huh.
14:22You must have one gorgeous nephew.
14:24Just make sure you go to the bathroom before the movie starts.
14:29Now stand over this way a bit.
14:31Okay, sink down so your shoulder doesn't cover me.
14:33What are you doing?
14:34It feels weird down here, man.
14:37Bye.
14:37Later, Charlie.
14:39Laugh like I said something funny.
14:41But you didn't.
14:42Jude!
14:42Just act like I'm the most wonderful thing in the world.
14:44And stand up!
14:47Haha!
14:48Haha!
14:48Good one!
14:49Dude!
14:50Ah!
14:55Listen!
14:56The line is coming up.
14:57Would you stop saying the line is coming up?
14:59And sit still.
15:00I have to go pee!
15:02Could you be quiet?
15:02Ha ha ha ha!
15:06Hi-ya!
15:07Dude!
15:08You kicked the thong guy.
15:11We'll have to do that again sometime.
15:13The whole point was to prove you were wrong.
15:15Which you are.
15:16Push the button.
15:17I did.
15:17It's not lit up.
15:18I know, but I pushed it.
15:20You don't have to push it.
15:21I pushed it.
15:21It doesn't light up.
15:22I don't think you pushed it.
15:24Oh, look!
15:25The elevator's here.
15:26Huh.
15:27Gee, how did that happen?
15:28Maybe it just...
15:29Knows.
15:30I'll push it.
15:31I've got it.
15:32You're such a...
15:33A guy.
15:34Just leave it alone.
15:35No, stop it.
15:35I told you.
15:36I...
15:36Just let me push the stupid button.
15:42Oh, now look what you've done.
15:44What?
15:44This is my fault now?
15:46We're trapped, aren't we?
15:47It's completely dead.
15:49Stop talking.
15:50You're using up all the air.
15:51I can't breathe.
15:52You're panicking.
15:53Just relax.
15:54No!
15:55I need air!
15:55We're gonna die in here.
15:57I'm too young to die.
16:00Where's Jen?
16:01In the bathroom again, regrouping.
16:03He's just one guy.
16:04Maybe he just isn't into her.
16:07Have I thanked you yet for not picking me as Jen's date?
16:09Like seven times.
16:11Hey, have you guys seen Jude?
16:13Last time I saw him, he was back at the energy drink table.
16:16What's with him and the energy drinks?
16:18Can't he just relax and have a good time?
16:24How many have you had?
16:27I don't know.
16:27Fourteen.
16:28They're free.
16:29Free is good.
16:29Love the free.
16:30Whoa!
16:35I have some Camomile tea back at Spin this I could get.
16:43Look, it's Wyatt.
16:45Wyatt!
16:49We're up here!
16:50Help!
16:51Oh, yeah.
16:52You guys are so funny.
16:54My song!
16:55My song!
16:57Laugh it up.
16:58Where's he going?
16:59What did you do?
17:00What did I do?
17:01You got us into this mess.
17:02I don't want my book to end this way.
17:04Chapter 5, you can't score if you're not alive.
17:07Here!
17:07Let me help you test that theory.
17:09Come on!
17:10Crazy as a movie!
17:11Let me kill the dog guy!
17:13Eddie!
17:15Jude, what's up?
17:17Caitlin!
17:18I can, like, see right through you.
17:21Try to relax, Jude.
17:23White is coming with some Camomile tea.
17:25This is starting to freak me out.
17:27Yellow is mellow.
17:28Gotta find something yellow.
17:29Yeah!
17:30Listen up, team!
17:31Tonight's grand prize is a soccer ball palm pilot that plays...
17:40Yellow is mellow.
17:44And the grand prize winner is...
17:50Get down!
17:53Jude, are you okay?
17:55Like, I'm so totally... not.
17:58Your boyfriend just ruined the cool soccer ball thingy.
18:03That's it!
18:04We are so over!
18:05Here's the Camomile tea.
18:11This tea tastes like a dirty gym sock.
18:15Just make sure you drink all of it.
18:17I'm sorry I ruined the party.
18:19Oh, it's not your fault, Jude.
18:21It's Caitlin's for setting the whole thing up.
18:23Wait a minute!
18:24I didn't spend the whole night being mean to Jude!
18:27Yeah, Jen.
18:28I think you owe Jude an apology.
18:31You're right.
18:32And I'm going to make it up to you.
18:33Wow.
18:34That's so not necessary.
18:36But I'll let you anyway.
18:38We have to die!
18:39I don't want to die in an elevator!
18:41Why me?
18:44Thank you, thank you!
18:45I never in a million years thought I'd be happy to see you!
18:49You are beautiful!
18:50And you're going to get a whole chapter in my book, no?
18:53Two!
18:53Now arrest her!
19:02I'm almost finished the last chapter of my book.
19:05It's where I save our lives in the elevator.
19:07Do not put me in your stupid book.
19:09In fact, why don't you try reading some books on the job
19:12instead of jumping right to writing one?
19:14Can't.
19:14Got fired.
19:15But don't worry, you come off looking like a complete babe.
19:18Oh, well in that case, carry on Shakespeare.
19:21Here, Jude, I know how much you love these.
19:23And no spit!
19:25Sweet!
19:26No problem.
19:27You did have to put up with me last night.
19:31Just look at him!
19:32Acting all cool!
19:34I'm the hottest guy in the food court with my sandwich!
19:37Hey!
19:38Second hardest guy!
19:39That's it!
19:40I can't take it anymore!
19:42I've got to find out why he isn't interested in me!
19:45Wait!
19:45You're risking rejection at point-blank range?
19:48I can take rejection, but I've got to know.
19:51Charlie!
19:52I wanted to ask you something.
19:55Oh, hey, Jen.
19:56This is my girlfriend, Jill.
19:58Jill, this is Jen.
19:59Your girlfriend?
20:00You have a girlfriend!
20:02That's great news!
20:03It's so nice to meet you.
20:05Okay, so, see you at work.
20:07Didn't you want to ask me something?
20:08Who, me?
20:09No.
20:11Wow!
20:11She really takes rejection well.
20:14He had a girlfriend all along!
20:15I'm not a total loser after all!
20:17That's still up for debate.
20:19Wait a second.
20:20What does she have that I don't?
20:21Here we go again.
20:22Oh, man!
20:23No, guys, I'm serious.
20:25I'm as cute as she is, aren't I?
20:27And I'm definitely more athletic.
20:29Just look at those chicken legs.
20:30I mean, have you seen me play soccer and snowboarding?
20:33Whoa, I'm a total shred bed!
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