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مسلسل Parenthood مترجم - Episode 6
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00:02I have a kid.
00:03His name is Jabbar.
00:04Hey, did you take the test?
00:06The test?
00:06The paternity test?
00:07I want to get a paternity test.
00:09Um, Mark Sear, 11th grade English.
00:11My daughter's teacher.
00:12You know what?
00:13I'm trying to impress you.
00:14I, it worked.
00:15You must be Julia.
00:16This is Raquel.
00:17Hi.
00:18You are so amazing.
00:19Oh.
00:20All right.
00:31Oh, honey.
00:37Honey, I have to wash Max's bandana.
00:43Huh?
00:43Oh, it's filthy.
00:44He's going to be a pirate.
00:45At least he's going to be a clean pirate.
00:47He's like, ring around the neck.
00:48Oh, my God.
00:49And his behavioral aid is going to be here at 10 o'clock.
00:51And we both need to be on the same page with all this stuff.
00:53I have a thousand questions that I want to ask her.
00:55And you know what else?
00:56I forgot to tell you that Hattie has a biology test, you know?
00:59And she has not even studied for it.
01:00Not once.
01:01She doesn't really care about it.
01:03Hey, hey.
01:04We just had morning sex.
01:05Like, free, bonus, unadulterated, like, pre-kid morning sex.
01:09Uh-huh.
01:09That's nice.
01:10It was, uh...
01:11Nice?
01:12It was amazingly nice.
01:13Amazingly nice.
01:14Yeah.
01:15Chop, chop.
01:16Let's go.
01:17Just meet me downstairs.
01:25Why does school start so early?
01:298.30.
01:30So dumb.
01:31And Monday.
01:32Why not start Tuesday?
01:33Shouldn't we be the ones complaining?
01:35No?
01:35Well, I'm just saying.
01:36Why start on Monday?
01:37Why not start Tuesday?
01:38Why?
01:38What do you mean?
01:39School's up here.
01:39Just stop right here, please.
01:40School's over there.
01:42Are you kidding me?
01:43I'm so embarrassing that I can't drop you off in front of school.
01:46Okay.
01:48Morning.
01:49Hey.
01:50Hi.
01:50Don't Monday suck?
01:52I was just saying that.
01:53I literally just said that.
01:54That's so weird.
01:56I'll see you in the best.
01:57Bye.
01:58Bye, Mr. Sear.
02:00Bye.
02:13We just lost our key witness in our Downey Smith trial.
02:16What are you doing here?
02:17I don't know.
02:18I got the results of the paternity test.
02:20I didn't really want to open it by myself.
02:23So maybe you could help out.
02:26That's really sweet.
02:27It's also kind of pathetic.
02:29Here.
02:30There's no pictures of me at all in this whole office.
02:32You're embarrassed to have me in the family?
02:34Oh, by the way, I got you and Jabbar into Joel's Wednesday playgroup.
02:38Oh, you got us in.
02:39There's a three-month wait list.
02:41For a playgroup.
02:41How long is this going to take?
02:42Come on, open it.
02:43Well, I mean, can't we work up to it?
02:46Open it.
02:47What are you in such a hurry for?
02:49Are you afraid of being a father or not being a father?
02:51Yes, both.
02:52You're a wimp.
02:53You're a tyrant.
02:54You're welcome.
02:55Open it.
03:15He's mine.
03:18I'm a father.
03:24So, uh, what do I do now?
03:28I mean, what's supposed to, I gotta buy a microwave and move to the suburbs.
03:37Oh, my God.
03:38We gotta tell Mom and Dad.
03:39Yes, you do.
03:40No, we'll go together, you and I.
03:42Grow up.
03:43Growing up means asking for help, which I'm doing.
03:45Oh, that's very mature of you.
03:47But also grow up and do it yourself.
03:49I don't think you've read one of those books.
03:51I think that's all for show.
03:54Do you want to frame this for your office?
03:55Because this might be the document that made me grow up.
03:58It would look right here.
03:59I mean, I know you don't want any pictures of me, so maybe just this.
04:01You'll be fine.
04:05Hi, I'm Gabby.
04:07Hi.
04:08I'm Max's behavioral aide.
04:11Oh.
04:11Oh.
04:12Oh.
04:13Come on in.
04:14Thanks.
04:21Uh, so how do you usually start with a kid like Max?
04:25Well, you guys tell me.
04:27What would be most helpful to get started with?
04:29Three coats of eyes.
04:31Uh, honey?
04:31Have a seat.
04:32What, uh, what do you think?
04:33Oh, God.
04:34Um, I don't even know where to begin.
04:37There's so many things.
04:38Well, if there were a behavior of Max's, you could wave a wand and change.
04:42What would it be?
04:43Yeah.
04:44How much would a wand like that cost?
04:46Um, gosh.
04:47In the mornings, it takes him a really long time to get ready.
04:50Like, a really long time.
04:52His diet.
04:53He's got a very limited diet.
04:54He'll only eat certain things cooked in certain ways.
04:57Right.
04:57Like, he'll only eat eggs if they're cooked in the orange frying pan.
05:01Is that sort of behavioral normal for a kid with Asperger's?
05:03Uh, the orange frying pan is new.
05:05Oh.
05:06It's weird even for a kid with Asperger's.
05:08Right.
05:09And he has tantrums.
05:11Temper tantrums.
05:12Sometimes severe.
05:15Well, if I call him severe.
05:16Biting.
05:16The fish tank.
05:17All right.
05:18There was an incident.
05:19Okay.
05:20Okay, tell me, how's he doing socially?
05:22Does he have a lot of friends?
05:23Does he have playdates?
05:27No.
05:28No.
05:30Max doesn't really have any friends.
05:36Okay.
05:37Why don't we start there?
05:40That's good.
05:51When we were young, we were small, but we didn't know it.
06:00When you were hurt, you would smile, so you didn't show it.
06:08I, I, I, I can't believe you're mine.
06:17I, I can't believe you're mine.
06:27I, I, I, I, can't believe you're mine.
06:33The horned lizard can squirt blood from its eyes.
06:36The armadillo lizard can curl itself up into a tight ball to protect itself from attack.
06:40The sungazer lizard has spikes that cover its whole body.
06:43And lots of lizards can change colors.
06:45That's very cool, Max.
06:47So, we've been doing what you want for 20 minutes.
06:50It's time to try one of my games.
06:52In a way.
06:53Hey, Max, be polite.
06:54Max, you get to choose whichever one you want.
06:57You know what? He doesn't like board games at all.
07:00We've tried.
07:01When you make a deal, he has to hold up his end of the bargain.
07:04Okay.
07:06All right, Max. Check this out.
07:10Cool.
07:11This is the deal, okay?
07:12Every minute you play one of these games, you get a sticker.
07:16I have a whole bunch of them in my bag here, all right?
07:18So, you get up to 20 stickers, cash them in, you get the book.
07:23What do you say?
07:24How about I get the book first, then we play the game?
07:29I know how you feel, because you know what?
07:31I used to always want my dessert before my dinner, and it always turned out I had to
07:36have my veggies first, so.
07:39Yep.
07:40Forget it, then.
07:41Max, honey, you know what?
07:43Max.
07:43Why don't we go get a cookie?
07:44I'm going to get a cookie.
07:44No, no, no, no, no cookies.
07:46You're going to stick with the plan.
07:47You're going to be.
07:48Okay.
07:48Okay?
07:49Sorry.
07:50Okay.
07:50Max, no cookie today.
07:51The reward is the book.
07:52I want the book.
07:53So, we're going to have to play a game.
07:54No.
07:55I want the book.
07:56You know, when he has that tone, when he has that tone, all bets are off.
07:59He's going to lose it.
08:00He's going to lose it.
08:02Listen, Max, nothing here is going to change unless you put guacamole back in the cage.
08:09You make the choice.
08:14Sorry, guacamole.
08:22Okay, let's pick a game.
08:31Hey.
08:32Hey, Emma, what's up?
08:34Um, I was just wondering, um, I know I didn't seem very excited about it in class, but I was
08:40just wondering if, if you were still trying to get people to join that weird literary
08:46magazine thingy, the Spectrum.
08:48Yeah.
08:49Yeah.
08:49Are you, you interested?
08:50I mean, sure, I guess.
08:52Because I have to have, like, extracurricular activities anyway, so I might as well, right?
08:56Well, with a passionate plea like that, how can I say no?
08:59Uh, yeah, that's, that's great.
09:01That's fantastic.
09:02So, I guess the next step is we are formatting tomorrow after school in the computer lab.
09:07So, just go there.
09:10Formatting and computer labs in here.
09:13I thought it would be nerdy and lame.
09:15I'm not at all.
09:16And then we're going to be footnoting and endnoting, and it's going to be so cool.
09:20Great.
09:21Bunch of cool people.
09:23You have chalk on your...
09:25Oh.
09:25Yeah.
09:26It's a little occupational hazard.
09:28I put it there on purpose.
09:30Okay.
09:31Bye.
09:32All right.
09:32See you later.
09:33Bye-bye.
09:33Thanks, Amber.
09:34Okay.
09:38This is new.
09:41Has it been washed before?
09:43Um, I don't think so.
09:45Well, I should wash it separately.
09:46No, you can wash it with all the other teas.
09:48Oh, it's red.
09:48You know, it'll bleed if it hasn't been washed before.
09:51All right.
09:51Well, if you don't mind, then I guess that's...
09:53I don't mind.
09:53All right.
09:54Okay.
09:54Gee, didn't you do like eight loads here last week?
09:57Is he going to fight with a leaf blower?
09:58He just wants to visit us, and this is a good excuse.
10:03Hey, I'm glad you're both here.
10:05There's, um...
10:06There's something I've been meaning to tell you.
10:08Somebody's come into my life recently.
10:11Oh, boy.
10:11Here we go again.
10:12What happened to Katie?
10:13She was a nice girl, Katie.
10:15Yeah, nothing happened to Katie.
10:17Uh, you know, this is kind of serious.
10:19Well, isn't it always serious?
10:21For the first week and a half.
10:25I'm so glad I can entertain you.
10:27Oh, come on.
10:27We're only joking.
10:29Uh, tell us all about her.
10:36You know what?
10:37I gotta run to the studio.
10:40I'll tell you when I'm through with that.
10:59Oh, nice.
11:00Hi.
11:00Hi.
11:02Oh, sorry.
11:03Sorry.
11:04Can you grab the...
11:06Hi.
11:06What do you have?
11:07Um, I'm okay.
11:11Um...
11:11Can we talk for just one second?
11:13Maybe over here?
11:14Yeah.
11:15Sorry.
11:15No, no.
11:16One second.
11:16Is that...
11:18Is everything okay with Amber?
11:20Uh, no, yeah.
11:21She's fine.
11:22No, I'm actually...
11:22I'm here on my own behalf.
11:24I just, uh, wanted to say, and, uh, this is really lame and probably embarrassing for me,
11:32but, um, I'm gonna say it.
11:35I, um...
11:36Just take it out.
11:38I really like you, and...
11:39Sarah, can I get another great dinner, please?
11:42Just one second.
11:43I'm sorry.
11:43Go on.
11:44That's fine.
11:44You know, I've been thinking about you, um, since we met, and you just, you make me laugh,
11:48and you make me feel good, and...
11:51And I just feel like there's something...
11:53I'm so sorry.
11:53Don't, please, don't...
11:54Don't talk to you in a second.
11:54Okay, okay.
11:55Take care of your next kid.
11:57Yes, yes.
11:58Another one?
11:58Okay.
12:00That's on the house.
12:00Okay.
12:01Oh, sweet.
12:01Yeah.
12:02Oh.
12:05So, hi.
12:07Okay, so, I, um, I just sense that there's this connection.
12:11Even though, you know, I...
12:14Whatever.
12:15I...
12:15Fall asleep when you try to count to my age.
12:17Uh...
12:18No.
12:19No, despite that, I, uh, I teach your daughter, or...
12:25I have a daughter.
12:27Um, so, I, I wanted to give you this, um, and I know that texting is the thing that most
12:36of the kids are doing nowadays, but I think there's something more romantic about, um, pen
12:42and paper, uh, but don't open it right now.
12:45Well, uh, I'm gonna go.
12:47Okay.
12:47And, uh, yeah.
12:50It was nice to see you.
12:51And just follow the directions.
12:54Full right, teach.
12:55Oh.
12:55All right.
12:56I am gonna go.
12:58I like your seahorse.
12:59Thanks.
12:59Nice to see horse you.
13:02Hey, Sarah.
13:05Okay.
13:06You forgot the ice.
13:07Oh, yeah?
13:17Ice.
13:18Ice.
13:24You're asking for my advice.
13:27It's true.
13:28Oh, this is so great.
13:29I don't know.
13:30You never come to me.
13:31Well, you know.
13:33Oh.
13:34It's first for everything.
13:35What's next?
13:36You asking me for advice?
13:37Yeah, maybe.
13:38Oh, sorry.
13:39Go.
13:40What is it?
13:40I met someone.
13:42Uh-huh.
13:43And, um, he's, uh, he's great.
13:47He's Amber's teacher, and, um, he's kind of young.
13:52Is he legal?
13:53Age?
13:54Yeah.
13:54Yeah.
13:55He's 26.
13:57Gross.
13:57Oh, okay.
13:59Oh, he's married.
14:00What?
14:01No.
14:01Then what are you asking me about?
14:03You're all systems go.
14:04Is that it?
14:05Do you not understand the subtlety of the situation?
14:06What about Amber?
14:07The guy's younger than Julia.
14:09He's younger than me.
14:10By lot.
14:11Look.
14:13You want to say yes.
14:15I do.
14:15That's why you're asking me.
14:17If you wanted to say no, you'd ask Dudley Do-Right or Judge Julia.
14:21You don't think it's weird?
14:22No way.
14:23No rules.
14:24No.
14:25I didn't read a rule book.
14:26Thank you so much.
14:27Yeah.
14:28I feel much better.
14:29Hey, this went pretty good, huh?
14:30I know.
14:31Right?
14:31Yeah, pretty good.
14:33Maybe I'll start asking you for all kinds of advice.
14:35So, you know, anytime you want advice.
14:37Oh, really?
14:38All right.
14:38Okay.
14:39Yeah.
14:40And just, you know, maybe to make it even, I'm just throwing this out there, but what if
14:44you came with me to tell Mom and Dad about Jabbar?
14:48What?
14:49No.
14:50Well, then you owe me one.
14:51Something else.
14:51Think about it.
14:52Okay.
14:53Okay.
14:53Thanks for your advice.
14:55Tell them yourself, you freak.
14:56The standard issue gun in the military is the M4A1.
15:00Now, that's one of the most famous assault rifles there is.
15:03This is great.
15:04I canceled the meeting to find out that we're paying $30 an hour for a babysitter.
15:09This is costing us a lot of money.
15:10I know.
15:10Just, you know, that's all.
15:11I just want to see some results.
15:12That's all.
15:13I know.
15:13Well, do you have a gun?
15:14I do not have a gun, Max.
15:15Well, if you're going to get a gun, the AK-47 is the best.
15:19This is great.
15:20Just playing ball with him and looking up the hill.
15:22Hey, Max.
15:24Looks like that girl over there wants to play some forest player.
15:26Over there by the tree?
15:27Why?
15:28Why don't you go ask her if she wants to play?
15:30I'll just play with you.
15:31Actually, I'll just play with you.
15:33I'll just play with you.
15:34I'll just play with you.
15:34I'll just try to get her to play with that kid, that girl by the tree.
15:37Good luck.
15:38Yeah.
15:38Yeah, the blizzard's coming in later today, too.
15:40And you get a lizard on the way home.
15:43What kind of lizard?
15:43Any lizard you want.
15:46Hey.
15:48You know how many times I've tried this?
15:50Well, now remember, look more in the eye, okay?
15:53And don't forget to give it a smile.
15:55Hi, I'm Max.
15:57I'm Jessica.
16:00What?
16:03Oh, uh, do you want to play four square?
16:05Sure.
16:08Get it.
16:09Get it.
16:10You get your lizard.
16:17How about that?
16:26Hey.
16:27You know, she just got lucky.
16:30No, she didn't.
16:33Sweet.
16:41The dragon is hungry.
16:46Isn't he amazing?
16:48All kids should have a male role model like Joel.
16:50Yeah, he's really great with them, huh?
16:53It's a gift.
16:54He's like a rock star.
16:56Big time.
17:00Oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.
17:02It looks like the princess has some ants on a lot for all of you.
17:05Okay, look what Joel made, everybody.
17:06Who wants some of those?
17:08Yeah!
17:10Okay, okay.
17:11You want to do that?
17:12Oh, absolutely.
17:14Do you need anything?
17:14I'm good.
17:15I'm good.
17:16Oh, look at this.
17:18She's the president of his fan club here.
17:20Okay.
17:21Are you good?
17:28She's having a ball.
17:30Mm-hmm.
17:30I just, I don't know how you did it.
17:33I mean, I've been trying to do this for so long, and I'm just amazed.
17:39Do you want a snack?
17:41An apple or something?
17:42I have tons.
17:43How are you?
17:45How am I?
17:46Yeah, how are you doing?
17:47I'm good.
17:49But I mean, like...
17:50I'm good, I promise.
17:53It's just so nice to see Max play with other kids, you know.
17:56Mm-hmm.
17:58And you helped him do it.
17:59Mm-hmm.
18:00You did.
18:03None of this is easy, you know.
18:05I'm sorry, I just feel like a loser.
18:06I feel like a total loser.
18:09I've been trying to do this for so long, and I've...
18:11You make it seem so easy.
18:13Mm-hmm.
18:14I mean, just watching.
18:16It's not.
18:17It's hard, and I only work her home a few hours a day.
18:21This is your life, you know?
18:23Oh.
18:24I don't know how you do it.
18:26I know.
18:27I'm...
18:27Well, that's what nobody gets.
18:30I try to explain just the worry.
18:33The worry never goes away.
18:35Like, I find myself up late at night just worrying about Max.
18:39I said, is there something we should have tried?
18:42There's something we should try when I'm not worried about him.
18:45I'm worried about the fact that I'm not worried about Hattie.
18:48When I'm not worried about Hattie, it's just like it never stops, you know.
18:52Adam and I, maybe we get a chance to spend some time alone, just together.
18:56Yeah.
18:57It's a miracle chance.
18:58It's like I cannot stop worrying long enough to enjoy anything.
19:02Anything, like a movie or a nice dinner or sex.
19:07Oh, my God.
19:08I'm sorry.
19:09I shouldn't...
19:09No, no, no, no.
19:10I'm so sorry.
19:11It's okay.
19:12Don't tell him I said that.
19:13I won't.
19:14Because he does satisfy me.
19:16I'm sure he does.
19:17A lot.
19:17He's got a good one.
19:21Okay.
19:23Never mind.
19:25Listen, you need to relax.
19:27Oh, my God.
19:28Honestly, you're too hard on yourself.
19:30You need to just cut yourself some slack and relax.
19:35Okay.
19:36Okay.
19:37Then I'm going to go to Hawaii, and you can raise my son.
19:40I'll babysit.
19:41How about that?
19:42Okay.
19:42Okay.
19:43Thanks.
19:48Yeah, I don't think that they're going to spring anything on you.
19:50The deposition is now set for Thursday morning, and we're going to go over all of it at the
19:57briefing beforehand.
19:58You know what?
19:58Can I call you back about this?
20:00Just give me a couple minutes.
20:01Something has come up in the family.
20:02I will call you right back.
20:07For what?
20:08The playgroup was inspirational.
20:11I mean, wow.
20:13Your husband is a rock star.
20:15He is, isn't he?
20:17Oh, I mean, no disrespect to dad, but it's like I finally have a role model now.
20:23You know, someone I want to be like as a dad.
20:25Oh, my God.
20:26Adam's a good dad.
20:28Well, yeah, he's a great dad, but he's not a rock star.
20:31Joel, on the other hand.
20:33Wait.
20:33Wow.
20:34Okay, what do you mean by rock star?
20:35Well, he's worshipped.
20:37Oh, yeah.
20:38Like a deity.
20:39Yeah, the kids love him.
20:40Well, not just the kids.
20:42What do you mean?
20:42What do you mean?
20:46Nothing.
20:46No, no, you said worshipped.
20:48Who worships him?
20:49You know, the kids and the two gay dads, Timmy and Tony or whatever, and me.
20:56Yeah.
20:57And the other moms.
20:58Which other moms?
20:58All the other moms.
20:59All the other moms.
21:00Well, no, not all of them.
21:02Raquel?
21:03Is it Raquel?
21:04I really couldn't say that.
21:05Oh, you're such a bad liar.
21:07I know.
21:08Uh, so, so, come on.
21:11So, so what is she like when I'm not around?
21:13I, look, I don't know.
21:17Does she flirt?
21:18Well, you know, how does one define flirting these days?
21:22Gazing, smiling, touching, smiling again, providing multiple beverages.
21:25Check.
21:26Yeah.
21:27Yeah.
21:28And Anton a lot.
21:29But it's totally harmless.
21:31I mean, Joel would never...
21:32Oh, I know.
21:32It's fine.
21:33It's, it's completely fine.
21:34Okay, good.
21:35So, give me details.
21:38Look, I, I don't really want to go down this road with you.
21:41I'm new to the play group, and it's just like, the first rule of play group is there
21:46is no play group.
21:48You're going to have to find another source.
21:52That's cool.
21:53I got what I need, Crosby.
21:54Good luck.
21:54I've never played that.
21:55Yeah, it's not that hard to play, though.
21:56It's not?
21:57Yeah, and he's actually pretty good at it.
21:59Will you teach me?
22:00Hey, sorry I'm late.
22:00You don't really care.
22:01Come on.
22:02There's no way.
22:03He did.
22:03I swear to God.
22:06Hi, honey.
22:07Hi.
22:08Hi.
22:08Hi.
22:09Hey, Dad?
22:12Yeah?
22:13Um, is it okay if I go over to Janice?
22:15Yeah, sure.
22:15I told her she could.
22:17Hey, buddy.
22:17I played with a girl at the park today, and so I got a lizard, and tomorrow I'm going
22:21to get bumped.
22:22That's great.
22:23Wow.
22:25Hi.
22:25Hi.
22:26Good day?
22:27Very good day.
22:28Thank you so much.
22:30Thank you so much.
22:30And everything's working out?
22:31Yeah, everything's good.
22:33Got a plan for tomorrow?
22:34Should I get some more of those index cards?
22:36Sure.
22:36Okay, perfect.
22:37Everything is progressing all right?
22:38That's fantastic.
22:38Yes, everything's going great.
22:39You guys just need to relax.
22:41Thank you so much.
22:42You're welcome.
22:43You're a jet.
22:44You relax, huh?
22:44You've got to relax.
22:45It's a little relax.
22:46All right.
22:47Okay.
22:49That's the word.
22:50Bye.
22:51She's working out great.
22:53It looks like everything's getting a lot better.
22:55Yes.
22:56That's great.
22:56They went so much better, you don't even understand.
22:59Oh, my gosh.
23:01Oh.
23:01Mmm.
23:02Mmm.
23:04Oh, wow.
23:05That early morning shoulder massage is paying off.
23:08Honey, Max played with this little girl for hours.
23:10Yeah?
23:10An hour.
23:12Uh-huh.
23:13Is that what's making you all frisky?
23:15Max's play date?
23:16Not that there's anything wrong with that?
23:16No, no.
23:17I was so wrong about her.
23:20I mean, she is like the best thing ever.
23:22I can't even.
23:23Oh.
23:24She's great.
23:25Yeah?
23:25She's great.
23:26Mm-hmm.
23:27What was that little wink, wink, nudge, nudge all about?
23:30Where?
23:30You know, the little, just relax tonight.
23:33The little wink she gave you there.
23:35I just had a little, had a little meltdown earlier.
23:38Nothing big.
23:39Honey, are you doing okay?
23:40I just, you know, sort of ended up unloading on Gabby about how stressed I am we are and
23:46how worried I am all the time and how sometimes, you know, it's hard for us to connect certain
23:52ways and she was really helpful.
23:54What do you mean?
23:55How when we have certain times together and I can't relax.
24:00We're keeping our private life private, right?
24:02And you're not talking about sex.
24:04Honey, of course.
24:05Christina, are you talking about her sex life?
24:07It's a natural thing.
24:09It was, it came up once and it was just it.
24:12She brought it up.
24:13Well, what, what exactly are you telling her?
24:15I mean, you're not saying that you're not enjoying it.
24:17No, no.
24:18Why would I tell her that?
24:20That's so dumb.
24:20But I mean, you, you are, aren't you?
24:22I'm tiny.
24:23You've been enjoying it?
24:24I mean, you're, you've been satisfied?
24:25I'm relaxed.
24:26Yeah, I'm enjoying it.
24:27Uh-huh.
24:27You're satisfied?
24:29Yes.
24:31You sure?
24:31Yes.
24:31Wait a minute.
24:32I'm feeling sexy.
24:33What did you tell her?
24:34What did I tell her when?
24:37What?
24:38Why are you looking at me like that?
24:40I'm starting to get sweaty.
24:41What?
24:41Have you, have you been faking it?
24:48Well, that doesn't look good.
24:50I did not say that.
24:51Oh, clearly.
24:51I did not say that.
24:52Clearly you have been.
24:53Why would you do that?
24:54Honey, once in a while I do.
24:56You know, I don't, I don't want you to think that I.
24:58I don't want you to fake it.
24:58I want you to have, you know, a healthy.
25:00I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate the effort.
25:03The effort?
25:03What?
25:03Like it's a science project?
25:05Because you do a good job.
25:05I don't need you to comfort me by faking it.
25:07Honey, I feel good.
25:08Why don't you sit down and eat?
25:10Or drink.
25:10Drink.
25:11Why don't you drink something?
25:11Why would you tell her about that?
25:13I, she listened to me and she opened up.
25:16So just now, I mean, just, you were faking it just before.
25:20Honey, understand something.
25:21I feel better today than I felt in so long.
25:24About that time after the Jon Stewart daily show.
25:26That was pretty intense.
25:27That was the real deal, right?
25:29Yeah.
25:30I mean, you weren't faking it then, were you?
25:31No.
25:32I swear.
25:32You sure?
25:33Yeah.
25:34Yeah.
25:37I just, you know, I want to be able to know that you're really satisfied.
25:47Whoa.
25:48You're home early.
25:49I am.
25:56Crosby said he had a good time at the play date.
25:58Oh, yeah.
25:59Yeah, it was fun.
26:01I found you a rock star.
26:03Really?
26:04Crosby said something nice about me, huh?
26:07That's a first.
26:09In fact, he used the word worshipped.
26:15Why does that not sound like a good thing?
26:26Did Raquel hit on you?
26:29Is that what Crosby said?
26:30You didn't have to.
26:31I inferred.
26:32No, she did not hit on me.
26:36She didn't.
26:37I swear, Julia.
26:38So you're saying I have nothing to worry about.
26:40There's nothing to worry about.
26:41Yeah.
26:41She didn't hit on you.
26:42No.
26:43She's never hit on you.
26:46Joel.
26:49Okay.
26:50All right.
26:55Nothing happened?
26:56A couple months ago, she got a little, um...
27:00And I shut it down.
27:03Totally.
27:04And that was it.
27:07How could she...
27:08How could...
27:09You're a father.
27:11Our daughters are best friends.
27:12How could she...
27:13What did you do?
27:14Her husband was out of town on work.
27:17You were working late.
27:18The girls fell asleep.
27:19And, uh, I guess she started talking to me about...
27:23Troubles in her marriage.
27:24And I listened and she...
27:28She misinterpreted.
27:31And...
27:31And what?
27:38She kissed you.
27:42Joel, did she kiss you?
27:43She tried.
27:45I stopped it.
27:47End of story.
27:52Wow.
27:54No.
27:57How come you didn't tell me?
28:00I didn't want things to get weird.
28:01I thought I was insane for being jealous of her.
28:04You let me think that I was insane.
28:07Harmony is Sydney's best friend, Julia.
28:10And you're using our daughter as your excuse for not telling me?
28:12Yeah, yeah, because it's the truth.
28:22Okay.
28:25Okay.
28:26Okay.
28:28I don't want that woman in our lives.
28:31Oh, Julia.
28:32Is that too much to ask?
28:37You take away Raquel, you take away Harmony.
28:39And our daughter is left without her best friends.
28:41Our daughter is five years old and she will make new friends, right?
28:44Come on.
28:44What if I was at work every day with a guy who hit on me?
28:55Okay.
28:57Okay.
28:58Okay.
29:00Okay.
29:03So, um, do you want to tell Sidney or should I?
29:09I'll tell her.
29:16Tell her tomorrow.
29:33Okay.
29:36Okay.
29:41Hey.
29:41Hey.
29:42What are you doing?
29:43Nothing.
29:43What are you doing?
29:44I'm just dropping this stuff off for Dad.
29:46Oh, yeah?
29:46Where is everybody?
29:47Oh, God.
29:48I don't know.
29:49Crosby went somewhere with Mom and Dad and Drew's avoiding me like always and Amber's really,
29:52really late coming home from school and she's probably smoking or drinking or stealing something.
29:58I don't know.
29:59So.
30:00Have you ever faked an orgasm?
30:02What?
30:02Just address the question, please.
30:04I don't know that it's a question I want to answer.
30:05You're my sister.
30:06Just answer the question, would you?
30:07No.
30:08I haven't had to.
30:12Cool.
30:15Wait.
30:16Wait.
30:16Why are you asking?
30:17No reason.
30:18Oh, no, no.
30:19All right.
30:20Unless.
30:20I'm out of here.
30:21No, no.
30:22Wait.
30:22I'm just kidding.
30:23Of course I have.
30:24And if someone in your life has, that's okay, too.
30:27But you have.
30:27Yes, of course.
30:28Everybody has.
30:29I don't know.
30:30Why?
30:30A couple different times.
30:31A couple different reasons.
30:32Well, can you name them?
30:33I mean, I don't, I just don't get it.
30:36It's like we don't want you to feel bad.
30:40God, this is just horrible.
30:41What are you all in on this?
30:42It's not horrible.
30:44We're not all in on it.
30:45She shouldn't have told you, first of all.
30:46That breaks the code right there.
30:47Well, how am I supposed to tell?
30:48You can't tell, honey.
30:50It's fake.
30:52Sorry.
30:53Well, I don't get it.
30:54I really don't get it.
30:54I mean, why fake it at all?
30:55Because it's too long to explain in the moment.
30:57It's like you just kind of, you know, put on a happy face and just, you know, better
31:02luck next time.
31:03But it's a lie.
31:04Yeah.
31:05It's an act.
31:05It's not a lie.
31:07It is an act.
31:07But it's an act of something positive.
31:10It's an act of generosity.
31:11It's a gift.
31:13A gift?
31:13Yes.
31:14I was faking it a gift.
31:15Because it says to you, thank you so much for trying.
31:19Please come again soon.
31:21Come again as soon as you possibly.
31:22Hi.
31:24Hey.
31:25Uh, okay.
31:25Thanks.
31:26So just tell Dad, shoes, light bulbs.
31:27So come back again next time and I'll give him those.
31:29Okay.
31:31Where have you been?
31:32School.
31:34Where were you?
31:35Just tell me.
31:35I was seriously at school this time.
31:37Doing what?
31:38Extra credit stuff.
31:39I was, uh, formatting in the computer lab, if you want to know.
31:42I don't even understand that.
31:43What does that mean?
31:44It's extra credit for school, okay?
31:46Mr. Sear, my English teacher.
31:47Oh.
31:48Okay.
31:48For Mr. Sear?
31:49Yeah.
31:49Oh, that's great.
31:50Yeah.
31:51Extra credit.
31:51Yeah.
31:52That's good.
31:53Oh, I know.
31:54I'm just...
31:56I'm proud of you.
31:58You know, extra credit.
31:58That's extra.
32:00Okay.
32:00You don't have to do that.
32:01Don't be weird.
32:02I'm not weird.
32:24You don't have to do that.
32:30That's great.
32:31Very good.
32:32Hey, this is on me.
32:33Huh?
32:33I got this.
32:34I got this one.
32:36That's unprecedented.
32:37That's my way of saying thank you for all the nice things you guys do for me.
32:41That's very sweet of you.
32:43Oh, man.
32:44This is embarrassing.
32:45Can you float me for you?
32:47Dad, I'm kidding.
32:49I'm kidding.
32:49I'm kidding.
32:50Yeah, I have it.
32:52Listen, you know, the care packages and the laundry and the boat repairs, I know you think
32:57I take it for granted, but I don't.
32:59I appreciate it.
33:00I really do.
33:05You feeling okay?
33:07Yeah.
33:07I feel great.
33:09I also want to say that I'm not going to be such a burden anymore to you guys.
33:14Well, I wouldn't say you've been a burden.
33:17Define burden.
33:19I've been working more hours, and I've been putting away some cash.
33:23I'm preparing for the next stage in my life.
33:27Crosby, you're starting to scare the hell out of me.
33:30Us, actually.
33:31It's not bad.
33:32It's a good thing.
33:34It's a really good thing.
33:36You know, people would say it's a great thing.
33:41Uh, I have a son.
33:44You what?
33:45I'm a father.
33:48So, you and Crazy Katie hit the jackpot then, right?
33:52No, no.
33:53It's not.
33:53It's not Crazy Katie and I.
33:55You shouldn't call her that.
33:56That's a little rough.
33:57Oh, you call her that.
33:58It's another woman from a few years ago who's a dancer.
34:02And she was touring the Bay Area, and we had some fun.
34:08And you know how I feel about dancers.
34:10She doesn't dance with a pole.
34:12She's like a, you know, ballet.
34:14Anyways, look, I didn't know she got pregnant,
34:17and then she showed up a few months ago with a boy.
34:21He's five years old.
34:29And you, you're serious.
34:31Yeah, yes.
34:33You're sure he's yours?
34:34I mean, you've had the test.
34:36Yeah, I'm sure he's mine.
34:38He's, um, he's amazing.
34:40I mean, you're going to love him.
34:42He's really great.
34:45Wow.
34:46Crosby.
34:49You're a dad.
34:50Yeah.
34:51I know it's crazy, but I'm really taking this thing seriously.
34:56That's what I meant about a new stage in my life.
34:58Like, this is me now, Crosby the dad.
35:01And I'm going to be more responsible and independent.
35:05Mom, please say something.
35:07You look like you're going to...
35:09Does he look like you?
35:10Because you were just the cutest kid ever.
35:13He looks, yeah.
35:15He looks like me.
35:17I'm just so happy for you.
35:19For all of us.
35:21When do we get to meet him?
35:23I'll ask his mom when he has some free time.
35:25What's his name?
35:25Jabbar.
35:28Jabbar?
35:28Yeah, Jabbar.
35:30Jabbar.
35:31Jabbar.
35:31What kind of name is Jabbar?
35:32What the hell kind of name is he?
35:34It doesn't matter.
35:34The name doesn't matter.
35:35What's his last name?
35:36Is it Braverman?
35:37It better be Braverman.
35:39Jabbar Braverman?
35:40I'm working on that.
35:43Where are you going?
35:44You're a daddy.
35:46I can't believe it.
35:48I know.
35:49Me neither.
35:59Hey.
36:01Hi.
36:05Hey.
36:06Hi.
36:06I was just...
36:08I've been thinking about the note.
36:10I know.
36:10I'm sorry.
36:11No need to apologize.
36:12I think you're right.
36:14Maybe it was a little too complicated.
36:18I mean, three options is a lot of options.
36:21It's overwhelming.
36:25I understand.
36:25Yeah.
36:28It's not good with multiple choice.
36:30No, no, no.
36:31This is my fault.
36:33I mean, these choices are ridiculous.
36:35Maybe?
36:36What the hell is that?
36:36That's not a real choice.
36:38Confusing.
36:39I don't know what I was thinking.
36:40I was just trying to write something.
36:41So I was thinking that I should just be more direct.
36:45Um, next time.
36:47Hmm.
37:02Will you go out with me?
37:22That is the correct answer.
37:29I won't interrupt.
37:49You ready, buddy?
37:50Let's go.
37:51Let's go.
37:55Hey, guys.
37:56Oh, they're here.
37:56Hey, we're here.
38:00Hi.
38:04Oh, wow.
38:09This is Jabbar.
38:11Jabbar.
38:12Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Baberman.
38:14Oh.
38:16He has your smile.
38:19This is Grandma Camille.
38:21Hi.
38:22Hello, Jabbar.
38:23And that tall sucker is Grandpa Zeke.
38:25Jabbar, how are you?
38:26Hey, you've got a good handshake.
38:28Hi.
38:29You can call me Grandma.
38:30Okay.
38:32Come here.
38:32You're hungry?
38:34Go barbecue.
38:37Grills.
38:37Chicken.
38:42What do you think?
38:43Whoa.
38:43Boy, it's really hard to put into words.
38:47What do you mind if I borrowed your toothbrush?
38:50Jabbar, why do you need my toothbrush?
38:51Oh, I ran out of eggs this morning, so I ate my gym socks.
38:55You ate gym socks?
38:58This is amazing.
38:59You look so grown up.
39:03Well, that's a great thing.
39:03Yeah.
39:04What is that?
39:04Where did you get that?
39:05I got it from my grandpa.
39:07Who's that?
39:08Orville Reddensockers.
39:10Who's this?
39:11Now, if you don't eat popcorn, what do you eat?
39:13I like the softer foods.
39:15Pears, plums, toothpaste.
39:17Toothpaste?
39:17Who eats toothpaste?
39:18All the people with great brother eating toothpaste.
39:20This is amazing.
39:21What's your favorite brand of toothpaste?
39:23Oh, if you look at that, does that just melt your heart of wood?
39:26You know, I was thinking of signing Harmony up for a pottery class.
39:29You know, working with the clay, it just grounds you to the earth.
39:32Oh, I don't have one of those customer cards that gives you discounts.
39:35They're not hard to get.
39:36There's no credit check?
39:40Well, at least they didn't run me through one.
39:43Maybe the girls can do it together.
39:44Oh, Harmony would love that.
39:45Yeah, I'm sure sitting there, too.
39:49Yeah, we didn't like your look.
39:52I guess I should have used this.
39:54Incredible red mouse with a gigantic eyebrow.
40:00Okay, close your eyes.
40:02Oh, okay.
40:03Oh, that was my mouth.
40:04All right.
40:05Open them now.
40:07Ta-da!
40:08Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
40:09Huh?
40:10Oh, you still have that?
40:11Whoa!
40:12Oh, man.
40:13That was your dad's when he was your age.
40:15What's that, man?
40:17You betcha, Hopper.
40:18Maybe your dad will teach you some tricks on it.
40:20Yeah, but I don't want you doing any wheelies because your dad broke three teeth and a lot of brain
40:24cells, you know.
40:25Don't remind me.
40:26I gained glory, though.
40:28Can you do this?
40:29Yeah.
40:30You already know how.
40:31Okay.
40:32I'm going to help you out to the street, all right?
40:33Easy does it.
40:36Hey, you look good on that.
40:38Grandpa, Grandma, you watching?
40:40We're watching.
40:41Okay.
40:42All right, you ready?
40:43Yeah.
40:43All right, let's do it.
40:44Woo-hoo!
40:45Adelaide, come on, Jabbar.
40:47Woo-hoo!
40:48Woo-hoo!
40:49Woo-hoo!
40:49Woo-hoo!
40:49Woo-hoo!
40:50Woo-hoo!
40:51Woo-hoo!
40:52Woo-hoo!
40:56Woo-hoo!
41:05Woo-hoo!
41:07Woo-hoo!
41:08Holy crap.
41:16Oh, my God.
41:17Oh.
41:19That definitely beat the time after The Daily Show.
41:22Oh, yeah.
41:24And the time after Lena.
41:27Oh, my God.
41:31Oh, my God.
41:51so I'm just gonna say that felt like the real deal am I right yeah you're right yep
42:03but even if it wasn't you would probably say that it was but it was the real deal honey
42:09it was definitely yes uh-huh definitely definitely uh-huh Adam I haven't felt this relaxed in two
42:17months please don't ruin it
42:32you
42:35you
42:36you
42:36you
42:36you
42:41you
42:42you
43:11We'll see you next time.
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