- 14 hours ago
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00:08Morning, Mrs. Bucket.
00:11It's bouquet.
00:12Never knew that.
00:14Trust me.
00:15To me, people are usually just a name on a note.
00:18I will not have milkman reducing me to a piece of paper.
00:26Is there something wrong, Mrs. Bucket?
00:30It seems all right.
00:32But in future, I want you to be quite sure that I get my own bottles back.
00:36I know mine have been properly washed, you see.
00:39And I can't be quite sure about other bottles.
00:42So please inform the people at the depot that I want my own bottles back.
00:47All the bottles are sterilised, Mrs. Bucket.
00:50OK.
00:51The milk's pasteurised.
00:53It's a matter of complete indifference to me whether it's sterilised, pasteurised, immunised or privatised.
01:01Just inform your superiors that I want my own bottles back.
01:30There's a man next door in Elizabeth's house.
01:35Sorry, I don't see the significance.
01:37In Elizabeth's house, a man.
01:40Yes, I heard that.
01:42Bold as you please.
01:43If Sheridan were here, he'd be appalled.
01:46Steady on.
01:46Maybe she's got the decorator in.
01:48Draped in a towel.
01:51Well, at least he sounds clean.
01:54Hyacinth.
01:54Perhaps her husband's come back from Saudi Arabia.
01:57It is not her husband.
02:00I warned her against watching Channel 4.
02:04She'll come to no good identifying with the continental classes.
02:18I'm slow.
02:20What is it?
02:22It looks like a beautiful day.
02:26Oh, nice.
02:28Well, it is.
02:30Look at it.
02:30It's a beautiful day.
02:35Right.
02:36Got it.
02:37Beautiful day.
02:42We hardly have any conversation these days.
02:46Even when we make love, you rarely speak to me.
02:49Especially when we make love, you rarely speak to me.
02:54You think doing two things at once is a formula for success.
03:00It's just that, at times like that, a woman likes a little confirmation that there's actually somebody there.
03:08It's that memorable, is it?
03:11I'll tell you why I don't like chatting when I'm making love to you.
03:14Because the last time, right in the middle of things, you said to me,
03:17Onslow, if I'd have died in childbirth, would you have married again?
03:24Well, would you?
03:26Married again, I couldn't even finish making love.
03:29You forget, you women, it's not always easy making love to people.
03:33Especially when you're married.
03:36And then you come up with a question like that.
03:39It amounts to overloading the system.
03:43Are we going to get up?
03:45You don't have to go to pieces just because it's a beautiful day.
03:53Will you put something on now, Rose?
03:55You'll be upsetting Onslow.
03:57No, she won't.
03:57Not this time of the morning.
03:59Oh, Dad's gone again.
04:01He'll have to know this time.
04:03Condition red.
04:04Enemy aircraft approaching.
04:06Don't get up.
04:07I'll handle it.
04:08Have you seen my ration book?
04:09Dad.
04:11Now they have to get up.
04:13I'll kill your father.
04:16How could she?
04:17Next to a house of this caliber.
04:20Had I known, I'd never have gone to the expense of double glazing.
04:25There's no point in getting upset.
04:27There's probably some perfectly harmless explanation.
04:29How can there be a harmless explanation to a strange man in the house, informally dressed
04:34with a debauched expression, and obviously been there all night?
04:39You don't know that he's been there all night?
04:42If he's there, draped in a towel when the milk arrives, he's been there all night.
04:47Well, that's a reasonable conclusion.
04:49I mean, just imagine.
04:50If she keeps him, we could be sharing milk bottles.
04:57I will not share milk bottles with an illicit love nest.
05:02It's really none of our business.
05:05Of course it's my business.
05:06Elizabeth is my friend.
05:08I can't just stand idly by when she's sinking into moral turpitude.
05:13I can't see Liz sinking into moral turpitude.
05:17I won't allow it.
05:19We must save her from herself.
05:21I cannot have my next-door neighbour turning her home into a house of ill repute.
05:25I see.
05:27Just think what it could do to the property values.
05:38Ansel, aren't you up yet?
05:39I'm thinking.
05:42It's no good going off half-cocked in these little emergencies.
05:46Somebody's got to keep a cool head and do the planning.
05:50There's nobody seen him in the street.
05:51Her at the shop hasn't seen him.
05:53And she never misses a thing.
05:55If you're going to track him down, the first thing to do is find out what he's wearing.
06:00Right.
06:02Do you know what I mean about planning?
06:03A cool head.
06:07All his street clothes are there.
06:09He's not wearing any of them.
06:11So now we know what we're looking for.
06:13An old man in pyjamas.
06:15Oh, nice.
06:25We'll have to move.
06:27Move?
06:32I shall miss this house.
06:35over the years i've made it a center of culture of taste
06:40why should we have to move if this area is heading for a moral decline what choice have we
06:47i will not raise sheridan in a continental atmosphere i can't believe elizabeth's
06:53involved in anything continental i can't believe it either how fortunate you are richard to have
07:01a wife of impeccable moral rectitude
07:10we're gonna have a cup of tea have a fag and decide on a plan of operation onslaught's very good
07:17in
07:17emergencies i should think so the way he lives look at the practice he's had here it is plan a
07:31i'll stay here in case he comes home you two go and look for him
07:35oh i can't go i'm expecting a phone call from mr bickerstaff
07:40who's mr bickerstaff who's mr bickerstaff
07:43he's only the best thing that ever happened to me
07:47a chance to start again to build on the security
07:51of someone who cares for me
07:54i thought that was mr crabtree don't speak to me about that swine you said you loved him madly
08:01in fact we could hear you loving him madly
08:06that was a tragic mistake i didn't know what love was until along came mr bickerstaff
08:12i can't go anywhere till i've had his phone call he'll panic if i'm not here to tell him i
08:17love him
08:18you go with daisy if a bickerstaff rings i'll tell him you love him
08:26i know you don't believe me richard i have to go to work heistin
08:30not until you've seen it with your own eyes
08:32elizabeth has a man in the house i still feel it's none of our business
08:36the tone of this neighborhood has always been my business
08:39it is not without enormous effort on my part that this district has one of the most sought after postal
08:45codes
08:47i can't just go out there and stare at elizabeth's house
08:50no of course you mustn't stare dear we're not ones to pry
08:55now i shall pretend to see you off to work
08:58you will turn and wave as you normally do
09:01do i normally turn and wave?
09:04you will turn and wave richard
09:07this will give you an opportunity to cast your eye over elizabeth's house
09:13what if i don't see it?
09:16then you will pretend that you have forgotten something
09:19and you will return to the house
09:21and then we'll do it all over again
09:24what if i don't see it?
09:50what if i don't see it?
10:14I've forgotten something.
10:45I've forgotten something again.
10:56Liz, who's the idiot next door?
11:02Oh, that's Richard.
11:04He's rather a dear, really.
11:05Bit forgetful, isn't it?
11:07That's three times he's been back to the house.
11:10Being married to Hyacinth, it's a miracle he goes back at all.
11:19Now, did you see him that time?
11:20I couldn't see a thing.
11:21Oh, why is it men never notice things?
11:24I notice that I'm going to be late for the office.
11:26Now, don't interrupt me while I'm thinking, dear.
11:29If he won't show himself, we must flush him out.
11:34Tear gas?
11:37Richard!
11:39I will go round now to Elizabeth's house on some innocent errand.
11:44I'll invite her to another of my candlelight suppers.
11:47Oh.
11:48You will stay here and keep watch.
11:51I am.
11:52As soon as Elizabeth has let me in through the front door,
11:55ten to one, you'll see the man sneak out of the back, scurrying away.
11:59It's time that I was scurrying away.
12:04She's not listening.
12:06How does she manage never to listen?
12:07I wish I could get the hang of it.
12:10And, Richard, we must warn her against the dangers of strange men.
12:16You must warn her.
12:17Me?
12:17Yes, you, dear.
12:19Why aren't you listening?
12:21And you must do it tactfully.
12:22While I've cornered her, you must make your appearance and begin talking casually about how you've seen it in the
12:28papers.
12:29See what?
12:30What?
12:30The dangers of getting involved with strange men.
12:33She'll think I'm the strange man.
12:35Oh, now, don't be silly, dear.
12:37I am relying on you, Richard.
12:40Don't fail me.
12:43Let's restore this area to a place fit for Sheridan to live in.
12:47Come on.
12:48To your post.
12:51Come on.
12:52Come on.
13:00Good morning.
13:02Oh, good morning.
13:34Hello, can you hang on a minute, please?
13:46I'm sorry about that.
13:48Oh, it's you, Daisy.
13:49No, she's just popped next door.
13:51Which reminds me, hang on.
14:07I don't expect you to be long, is it urgent?
14:09Oh, your father, yes.
14:11No, I'll tell her, I've got a pop next door myself.
14:13Yes, bye.
14:22I...
14:25You see it in the papers.
14:26Terrible.
14:27Women living alone, getting involved with strange men.
14:30Very unwise.
14:32Oh, you can't open a conversation like that.
14:41Oh, you see it in the papers?
14:44Women living alone, getting involved with strange men.
14:47I can't say that.
14:52On the other hand, Hyacinthomy's standing there waiting for me to say that.
14:57I can say that.
15:02Hello, Richard.
15:03Elizabeth, hi.
15:04What is it?
15:06Elizabeth, hi.
15:08Yes, Richard?
15:09I have to speak to you.
15:12Oh, come in.
15:15Forces over which I have no control are insisting that I speak to you.
15:18Yes, Richard.
15:20Have you seen it in the papers?
15:22Have I seen what?
15:23About strange men.
15:25Richard!
15:25Richard!
15:27You haven't met Elizabeth's brother, have you?
15:30Brother?
15:32Elizabeth's brother!
15:33Oh, I'm sorry.
15:37I've just been telling Emmett all about you.
15:39Emmett, this is Richard.
15:40Richard, my brother Emmett.
15:41Hello, Richard.
15:42He'll be staying here for a while.
15:43I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that.
15:47That I shall be staying here for a while.
15:49No, but you're her brother.
15:51I'm sorry.
15:51Oh, well, Hyacinth was...
15:52No, no, stop babbling, Richard.
15:55He finally got back to the office.
15:57He has very large responsibilities.
15:59I don't like him being late for the office.
16:01How has since your sister's been on the phone?
16:03Oh, my sister Violet.
16:05She married a turf accountant.
16:07They have a very large house, a swimming pool and room for a pony.
16:10Oh, no, Daisy.
16:12Oh, Daisy.
16:13Oh, my dear.
16:15Pop in for a coffee, Emmett.
16:18And later on, there'll be a little candlelight supper sometime to look forward to.
16:23You'll enjoy it, Emmett.
16:26Just a small, select gathering.
16:29Living next door to us, you'll soon learn that you're at the centre of the cultural hub of things round
16:35here.
16:35I must be leaving for the office.
16:37Again.
16:40As the French say, cafe au lait for a tete-a-tete.
16:52Ye gods.
16:54Is the woman always like that?
16:58It was her brother all the time.
17:00He's lost his house in a messy divorce and he needs somewhere to live.
17:08Who knew Elizabeth was beyond model reproach?
17:11I don't know why you put that idea in my head in the first place.
17:16You don't imagine I could have been friends all these years with a person of low model fibre.
17:22It was short-sighted of you, Richard.
17:25Actually, it was you who said...
17:27Yes, I did, didn't I?
17:28And you see how right I was.
17:32You must go to the office.
17:36Come inside for a moment, Richard.
17:38There's something I have to tell you.
17:41It's quite exciting.
17:42Tell me here.
17:46I think chatting in the street is very common, don't you?
17:56I assume...
17:57No, no, no, no, no, no.
17:58We'll be in on...
17:59Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
18:04I'm telling you...
18:04No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:05No, no, no, no, no, no.
18:12Emmett is a musician.
18:16He teaches music
18:19A classically trained musician
18:23A classically trained musician?
18:25Don't you realise what that means?
18:28We're about £25 an hour, I should be
18:31Can't you see what an asset he'll be at my little musical soirees?
18:36Oh, those, yes
18:37Does he know that you give little musicals?
18:40Oh dear, not yet
18:42But I'm not one to push my talents forward
18:45I'll let that just emerge naturally
18:48But you haven't heard the best bit?
18:51Really?
18:52He produces and directs the Amateur Operatic Society
18:57It's a wonder he found time to get divorced
19:01So you must be prepared, Richard
19:04As soon as he hears me sing
19:05He'll start pestering me to play a leading role
19:08And that's what I want to ask you, dear
19:11Shall it be fair to Sheridan?
19:13A mother on the stage
19:19Where did you put my briefcase?
19:22Because I'm having them round for coffee and the question may arise
19:24Don't forget to ring your Daisy
19:26Oh yes, dear, yes, I will when I've got a moment
19:29When I've decided the details of my debut
19:39That is nowhere round the block
19:41Nobody's seen him
19:42Did our person ring?
19:43No
19:43Did Mr. Bickerstaff ring?
19:45Nobody rang
19:46I asked her to ring on, sir
19:47You have to get the car out, love
19:48We'll have to go and tell
19:49What did Mr. Bickerstaff ring?
19:51You can phone Mr. Bickerstaff
19:52On a white, slimline, push-button telephone
20:04Goodbye, dear
20:07Have a nice day
20:08What's left of it?
20:19Why are you singing?
20:21Out here in the open, like there
20:23Richard, what a question, dear
20:25You know I love to sing
20:27Oh, Elizabeth, dear
20:39Don't forget coffee at 10.45, will you?
20:42All through the night
20:54Maybe you should have put on a shirt
20:56Nobody said it was formal
20:59Why have I missed Mr. Bickerstaff?
21:03Oh, shut up, Rose
21:08Come on, Emmett
21:09She said 10.45
21:10It has to be exactly 10.45
21:13Believe me, it's easier
21:19Ah, there you are
21:25And almost on time
21:30Come in
21:31Come in
21:37And there's Sheridan
21:39Sheringham in his little sailor suit
21:41Super
21:43And there he is
21:44Dordling on a donkey
21:45At Dawlish
21:47Bless him
21:47He was fearless
21:48Then why is he crying?
21:51Well, I
21:53Because the donkey
21:54Was carrying him away
21:55From his mummy
21:57We were always very close
22:00Another cup of aromatic nut
22:02Roasted special
22:03No
22:05No, thank you
22:06I'm fine
22:07Elizabeth
22:07Oh, yours must be cold
22:09No, no, no, thank you
22:10Hyacinth
22:11No, I'm always a bit uneasy
22:12With your best china
22:14No, I'm quite happy
22:16With my biscuit
22:16Good
22:17But just watch the crumbs
22:18Won't you?
22:21My royal duton
22:23Hand-painted periwinkle
22:24Is not really my best china
22:25It's just my everyday best
22:27My really best best
22:29I shall keep
22:30For another time
22:31When you come
22:31For a more formal occasion
22:33Perhaps a little
22:35Musical soiree
22:36Followed by a little
22:37Candlelight supper
22:39Now, I've got another
22:40Album somewhere
22:52Well, thank you
22:53For the coffee
22:54And the tour
22:55Through your albums
22:55But we really have to be going
22:56No, you can't go now
22:58Not now
22:59Not right now
23:00Not until you've seen
23:01The other album
23:03Desolate as I am
23:04Not to see
23:05Another album
23:06I really do think
23:06Excuse me, don't move
23:09Can I just sit there?
23:15I'll be back
23:18Whatever you do
23:23Well, let's go
23:25I don't think I can face
23:27Yet another album
23:28No, she said
23:29Don't move
23:31We can't exactly
23:32Be under house arrest
23:38Can we?
23:40Just go and find out
23:41It immediately
23:42They've been doing that
23:43Oh, can I just make a phone call
23:44To Mr. Bickerson?
23:45No, Rose
23:47Not to one of your gentleman friends
23:49On my white slimline telephone
23:51The instrument through which
23:52I have to speak to Sheridan
23:54Supposedly they were a cross line
23:55And he picked up
23:56Some residue of your conversation
23:58You must go and find Daddy
24:01Now
24:01We thought he might be here
24:03Daddy would never come here
24:05Looking for his ratchet hip
24:07Not in his long johns
24:10Now just go and find him immediately
24:15Will you get into the car, Onslow?
24:18Now, Onslow
24:20She could do with a drop of water
24:22For the radiator
24:23The water here
24:24Wouldn't be suitable
24:25For your kind of room
24:32That's it
24:33That sounds fine
24:34Off you go, Onslow
24:35But Hyacinth
24:37Supposing Daddy
24:38Goodbye, dear
24:39Give me a ring
24:39If you find Daddy
24:47Out there somewhere
24:49Facing the might of the Luftwaffe
24:56We'll have to be going, Hyacinth
24:58Emmett has work to do
25:00Never mind, dear
25:01There'll be many other occasions
25:03Oh
25:05Splendid
25:18Did you see that?
25:19Who is he?
25:21It was Daddy
25:23My father's a leading competitor
25:24In the over-70s bicycle race
25:26I expect his number fell off
25:29In the excitement
25:32Why is he wearing long johns
25:33And a steel helmet
25:35Fancy dress
25:36For charity
25:37Brave Daddy
25:39Risking the elements
25:40At his age
25:41For charitable purposes
25:44The old school, you know
25:46Coming, Daddy
25:48I must refresh him
25:49With orange juice
25:50Before he tackles
25:51The next hundred laps
25:54Yes, the old school
25:56It's his kind of spirit
25:57That keeps one going
25:58When everything appears
25:59To be collapsing
26:00There, all
26:02And all
26:02And everything else
26:07Shall be free
26:08It's free
26:10It's free