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00:06what's amusing you nothing you got rid of that young missionary very quickly no problem I sent
00:13him next door if anyone needs a little Christian missioning it's hyacinth I know but think of the
00:25poor missionary the native drums are beating I think your father's thumping on the ceiling
00:48I should get a move on before he drops
00:55in on us it's your turn next time I'm expecting a phone call I'm dying for a cigarette on slow
01:14this new boyfriend a smoker no he's a fitness fanatic he's very muscular then smoke some
01:21muesli I'm not feeding you any more cigarettes if you get a boyfriend who smokes the only way
01:28I ever get him back he wants me to stop smoking I know the feeling what did he want he
01:40just started
01:41telling me and he fell asleep again well I think it's about time I was on my way you mustn't
01:52feel
01:52you've failed because I've refused to purchase your pamphlets this is of course already a Christian
01:58household I have no quarrel with anything you say it's more your tendency to brush against my walls
02:08I wasn't aware that I did brush against your walls now you're still very young and I quite understand
02:14that you lack the experience to realize that when the Lord wants you to visit houses of this caliber
02:18he'll expect you to wear something more Christian in the way of socks
02:25my hearty heathen well if you'll excuse me
02:30if as you insist only a few of us are going to be saved then socks like that may count
02:37against you
02:40one more word of advice I'm sure the Lord would have no objection to your remarking on the quality
02:46of the furnishings you're sometimes privileged to enjoy my Queen Anne corner cabinet for instance
02:52is an exact replica of the one in Sandringham house oh really well I would advise you to try and
02:57take notice of those things thank you I've only ever had to remove my shoes once before oh and that
03:03was in a mosque and then the sermon was shorter what does this remind you of Winslow hard labour
03:17doesn't it remind you of those days when we used to walk out together pushing a fan you shouldn't talk
03:23like that in front of your father I don't want to be reminded of why we had to bring the
03:27wedding
03:28forward he's asleep he's crafty he's not always asleep you used to look lovely with the pram the
03:38baby's little feet resting on your beer bottles you're soft and dreaming always going all soft and
03:46dreaming that was the main reason we ended up at the pram in the first place I can't really stop
03:54piocin oh you've time for a coffee dear it'll settle your nerves they're never bad until I get
04:00around here do sit down Elizabeth no not there dear I like to face the window
04:11how's Emmett oh he's fine still keeping busy with his amateur operatic society oh yes very busy do
04:20remind him that if ever he needs a voice in an emergency I shall be very happy to oblige that's
04:26very kind of you hyacinth I'll tell him I was always the musical one in the family if I hadn't
04:32married
04:33Richard I think I might have made it my career Sheridan used to love to hear his mummy sing even
04:41as a tiny
04:42child when I sang it could reduce him to tears know what you mean it would unnerve some mothers how
04:51exceptional that boy is obviously destined for high places I just thank my lucky stars that he's blessed
04:59with a mother who will be well able to cope with the demands of his future position you know me
05:05Elizabeth I
05:06could handle all his entertaining yes I'm sure you could I said it must be a great comfort to him
05:14to
05:14know that however high he rises I shall be there beside him ready to take the social strain I'm prepared
05:22for it you see it's as if I've been in training all my life when the call comes I shall
05:29be there
05:31I know you prefer a beaker Elizabeth
05:38you do get so nervous with my collectible child
05:41yes I do I really do I don't know why it never happens anywhere else oh no I'm much happier
05:51with a beaker
05:59I'm not willing to make a fuss however badly it marks anything
06:06we were thinking of changing the rug anyway
06:14the McKay residence the lady of the house speaking oh it's you Violet it's the sister Violet you
06:23remember the one with the large house the sauna and room for a pony I remember I'm just talking to
06:29Elizabeth you remember the one who spills the coffee you sound excitable Violet don't tell me
06:36you've scratched the Mercedes again oh it's not the Mercedes it's Bruce well how long has he been up a
06:43tree
06:45oh boys are always climbing trees yes I know he's 53 but they never I once caught Richard playing with
06:55a
06:55frisbee he says it was one he found but I've never been sure sometimes on sleepless nights when my head
07:04swimming with the responsibilities of organizing another candlelight supper
07:09sometimes I wonder did he buy the frisbee
07:16now calm down Violet have you asked him why he's sulking up a tree
07:23he wants to wear your evening dress
07:29up a tree
07:32oh he doesn't want to wear it up a tree he wants to go to a dance in it
07:39I'll be with you in a minute Elizabeth if you take my advice you'll keep him up a tree
07:53how much longer are you going to be father wants to go into town don't hassle me when I'm working
08:01how much have you lost I hate the way you say that I'm struggling here trying to earn a decent
08:07living for you and your father
08:09and keep your rose in cigarettes well will you get a move on it's cold out there and father's getting
08:15restless
08:18you know what you've done now don't you you've ruined the essential concentration
08:24you've upset that delicate balance between the study of form and instinct
08:28he wants to go into town he's in a hurry for something
08:48oh nice
08:49I told you he was in a hurry
08:53Richard don't tell me you're busy this is an emergency help yourself to a biscuit Elizabeth
09:00I want you to come home and take me to violets
09:03well can't you make some excuse to them
09:06it isn't as if I demand much from you Richard
09:10no I can't speak any louder
09:12it's very embarrassing
09:14it's Bruce on the loose again
09:17what's the problem with Bruce now
09:21no I'm sorry I've seen for a moment
09:23I thought you said that Bruce was up a tree
09:25oh he is up a tree
09:28what's he doing up a tree is he stuck
09:30if he's stuck you really want the fire service
09:33all right all right
09:35only couldn't you ask Onslow to go and get him down
09:38Onslow won't be in a meeting
09:40oh well it's no good saying that it's impossible to mix Bruce and Onslow socially
09:44they can manage for the time it takes to get down from a tree
09:49all right all right
09:52I'll get away as quickly as I can
09:54well I thought I was speaking in a cooperative tone
09:58well I'll show you how Syntho was meant to be a cooperative tone
10:01yes I'll get away as quickly as I can
10:03in a cooperative tone
10:06all right
10:09uh sorry sort of family trouble
10:14try the passion
10:16see what I go through
10:19oh
10:23is anything wrong
10:25Elizabeth
10:28no no everything's fine
10:31finished already dear
10:35apparently
10:37oh I'll make you another one dear
10:38this afternoon when I've got a little more time
10:41I've got you in
10:42oh well
10:42yes
10:43well I must be going
10:46oh no
10:47surely not
10:48no
10:49no
10:49not through the back door dear
10:51no
10:52good gracious me
10:54whatever kind of a friend would I be
10:56to send you creeping out through the back door
10:58no
11:00I don't mind the back door
11:02house in
11:03but I do dear for my friends
11:08thank you for my coffee
11:09oh not at all dear
11:11it's just a pity you're in a rush
11:14do look at the tulips on your way out dear
11:23come to think you make the tulips in the back garden a far superior
11:29they're Darwin you know
11:30Sheridan's favourites
11:31oh really
11:36now take your time
11:38Sheridan talks to them for hours
11:43go on ring the bell
11:45she's your sister you tell her
11:47it's your fault we lost him
11:49you tell her
11:50how come it was my fault
11:51you're the one that left him in the street
11:53because I had to go into the bookies looking for you
11:58I don't know what you're panicking for anyway
12:00because I've lost my father that's why
12:03when you turn up
12:05somebody will find him
12:06I mean who the hell's gonna keep your father
12:11Daisy Onslow how nice to see you
12:13what a lovely surprise
12:15Onslow you must be freezing in just that test
12:17go up this way
12:18we can't have your tattoos exposed
12:23to the elements
12:25I'm boiling
12:26no no look at you
12:29you're a mass of goose pimples
12:31now what's the burning of the empty wheelchair
12:34funny you should say that
12:37so it's clear that the weight of opinion here
12:39is in favour of scheme B
12:41I'll go along with that
12:42well obviously what we have to do
12:44is start gathering as much support as possible
12:46it's not going to be that easy
12:48would you take that
12:49yeah
12:50the other scheme has it support us
12:52we've got a fight on our hands
12:54well one thing
12:55ah
12:55it's for Richard
12:56well
12:56oh
12:57excuse me
13:02your wife again
13:07ah what is it Hyacinth
13:08I said that I'd get away as quickly as I can
13:11oh it's not Bruce this time
13:12then what is it
13:14why would they arrive with an empty wheelchair
13:18oh I see
13:20does this cancel previous instructions
13:23right I'll see you at home
13:24well
13:25well I'm sorry if I didn't say goodbye properly last time
13:28I didn't intend
13:29not to say goodbye properly
13:32goodbye
13:36ah sorry
13:37another spot of family trouble
13:44well
13:45where my daddy have gone
13:46don't ask me
13:47I can't possibly think in this jacket
13:52you can see your face in this sink
13:56unfortunately
13:57I think it's terribly careless of you Daisy
13:59to lose daddy
14:00nobody's perfect
14:02you can't keep them in if they want to roam
14:04we had a bull terrier who was just the same
14:07I don't think I care for that comparison honestly
14:10it could and when we had him doctored
14:12or that one
14:15well we have to stop him biting the post woman
14:17now what condition was daddy in when you lost him
14:20asleep
14:21I gave him one of his pills
14:23you did
14:24so did I
14:25you didn't
14:26oh no wonder he was asleep
14:28or a daddy lost in his sleep
14:32in between going to sleep
14:33he's been a bit excitable all morning
14:35I think he had too much excitement last night
14:38at the senior citizens club
14:40what kind of excitement
14:45is it proper at daddy's age to be having excitement
14:48all I can say is he came home with a smile on his face
14:51a lot like we used to see on our bull terrier
14:56well I think we ought to find out
14:58if the senior citizens club have any idea where he is
15:03and leave those biscuits alone
15:07registry office
15:08well what makes you think that he's heading for the registry office
15:14well should he be proposing at the senior citizens club
15:18I thought all they did was to play bingo
15:21yes yes no as soon as I can
15:27I think I'd better
15:28yes I think you're better
15:32another spot of
15:41are you going into town
15:43could you give me a lift it's rather urgent
15:45yes on both counts
15:47oh good thank you
15:50you said yes
15:51I don't believe it
15:54you said yes
15:55why didn't you say no
15:56you can't say no
15:57Dan really
15:59I've done it
16:00look where you finished up
16:01divorced
16:03I just park around the front
16:07if you give her a lift
16:08she'll sing at me
16:09she won't sing at you
16:11she's in some kind of panic
16:16I'll get to the registry office
16:18you follow with the wheelchair
16:19have her take the jacket off now
16:21no
16:26she gets out if she sings at me
16:28where to Hyacinth?
16:30oh just to town dear
16:32a little personal business
16:34I won't bother you with
16:43oh isn't that Richard
16:44outside the registry office?
16:46oh I shouldn't think so
16:47what on earth would Richard
16:49be doing outside the registry office?
16:51yes it is
16:52it's Richard
16:53hmm?
16:54oh so it is
16:56oh I expect he's here
16:58on council business
17:00organizing something
17:02you might as well
17:02put me down here
17:03Elizabeth
17:14thank you Liz
17:20hey why you see
17:20if she didn't sing at you
17:21I could feel her wanting to
17:24all the while she was in the car
17:25I could feel her
17:26suppressing it
17:29we ought to plan this a little
17:30let's not go in bald headed
17:32I don't think I care for your attitude Richard
17:35you've no business to be so calm
17:37when some unscrupulous female
17:39is maneuvering daddy
17:40to the steps of the altar
17:43ow
17:44can you give me a hand with him?
17:46madam
17:46I will not lift a finger
17:48to assist you towards matrimony
17:49with this man
17:50he's in no fit condition
17:51to be
17:52now let's not get excited
17:53I think he's just asleep
17:54you ought to be ashamed of yourself
17:57forcing daddy into marriage
17:59when you can see
18:00how uninterested he is
18:01in the demands of the flesh
18:03what is she talking about?
18:04listen if it's all the same to you
18:06I ought to be getting back
18:06I had to leave a meeting
18:07but you can't go now Richard
18:09I want you to prefer
18:11charges against this woman
18:12on what grounds?
18:14kidnapping
18:16if I hadn't arrived in the nick of time
18:18you'd have whipped him away into wedlock
18:20oh what's the woman talking about?
18:22madam
18:22I am the registrar
18:30I like you in the jacket Onslow
18:32what this jacket
18:33any jacket
18:35you look
18:37smart
18:37you'll go in for India again
18:41he used to wear a jacket
18:42when we were courting
18:44everyone wore a jacket
18:45in those days
18:46even the scruffs wore jackets
18:48that's how you could tell
18:50they were scruffs
18:50they had holes in their jackets
18:53these days
18:55well
18:55you can't tell
18:56who's a scruff
18:58our hyacinth can tell
19:02if you were married to our hyacinth
19:05you'd always wear a jacket
19:06if I was married to your hyacinth
19:09I'd be wearing earplugs
19:10he'd be wearing Murphy's bike
19:12oh thank goodness
19:14just in time
19:15is he married?
19:16of course he's not married
19:18he was asleep
19:19probably saving himself for the honeymoon
19:23you can do without remarks like that
19:25thank you Onslow
19:27what was she like?
19:29what was who like?
19:30the bride-to-be
19:32she never turned up
19:33that's a bit casual
19:35missing your wedding day
19:37wheel the chair
19:38will you Onslow?
19:48don't give you Onslow a hand
19:50and take a turn with the wheelchair
19:51Richard don't get too close
19:53I know they're my family
19:54and you know I love them dearly
19:56just in case any friends are passing
19:58I'd like just to keep
20:01it's nice to know
20:02that you love them anyway
20:03keep your voice down Richard
20:15oh no
20:16can we give you a lift again?
20:19oh great
20:19just get your father out
20:33I will not have Onslow draping daddy over walls like this
20:38don't make a scene
20:40it should fit in there
20:42it should fit in there
20:42yeah it's alright
20:43it's very nice of you Liz
20:44I don't believe you met Onslow and Daisy
20:46yeah I do
20:49just let's get into the car
20:51it's very nicer than to give us a lift
20:53but where to?
20:54we can't let them take daddy to Onslow's
20:56we can't let Liz and Emma see how Daisy and Onslow live
20:59there isn't room enough for all of us
21:01me and Daisy will walk
21:04that's the nicest thing Onslow's ever said
21:06you can have your jacket back now Dickie
21:08no
21:09Richard wants you to keep it
21:12I do
21:14I'd like you to keep it
21:16doesn't fit
21:17he looks smart
21:19don't lie
21:20he's going broody again
21:31just get your father in the car and let me go back to work
21:40what do you think of going back to work when Onslow's thrown daddy over a wall
21:43he's going broody again
21:53dumb
21:54dumb
21:55dumb
21:58dumb
22:00dumb
22:01dumb
22:13I've never realised your father had rubber soles.
22:18Not rubber soles.
22:19No wonder he keeps catching Mrs. Ferguson when she's hanging the washing out.
22:27He's a sound sleeper.
22:30It's simply wear and tear.
22:32Poor Daddy had a great mind in his day.
22:35He was much respected in musical circles.
22:41I expect that's where my gift comes from.
22:47Where to, Hyacinth?
22:49Where to, indeed?
22:51I often ask the same thing of Richard.
22:54Where are we going, Richard, I ask?
22:57Where are we bound?
22:58And what does Richard say?
23:01Not a lot.
23:04I meant way too with your father, Hyacinth.
23:09Where do you want him dropping off?
23:11Oh, Daddy!
23:14Take the first right here.
23:16First right?
23:17Where are we going?
23:19We'll take him to Violet's.
23:22It's a more appropriate house.
23:25Daisy and Onslow can pick him up later.
23:36Thank you, Liz.
23:38That was very kind of you.
23:39Oh, look.
23:42There's Bruce's huge Mercedes.
23:47I'll get the wheelchair out.
23:59Richard, would you...
24:01I've just thought of something.
24:03Supposing Bruce has skid up a tree.
24:06I've forgotten that.
24:08Please don't let Bruce be up a tree.
24:11Richard!
24:12Would you get Daddy into the wheelchair
24:14and I'll just let Violet know that we're here.
24:17Don't rush.
24:32I've forgotten that you'll lend me your evening dress.
24:35This is my best evening dress.
24:37That's why I want it.
24:39Oh, why, come to me.
24:41Oh, why, come to me.
24:43There's nothing the matter with me.
24:59Oh, why, come to me.
25:01There.
25:02That's done it.
25:03Oh, well done.
25:06It's humiliating, Bruce.
25:09I only wear nice clothes.
25:11But they're women's clothes.
25:14That's a sexist remark.
25:17He's falling out.
25:19They're not really.
25:19It's just an impression he gives.
25:27I thought I heard a willow warbler.
25:32Did you hear a willow warbler?
25:34It's one of my absolutely all-time favourite songsters.
25:39It's a great favourite of Daddy's, too, when he's awake.
25:42The sister's clearly busy, and there's no one at home.
25:45So there's not much point in hanging around.
25:48Come on, let's get Daddy into the car.
25:51And sit.
25:52There we go.
25:53Safely into the...
25:56What was that?
25:57I told you.
25:59It's a willow warbler.
26:02It's the mating season.
26:05Now, we must get Daddy into the car.
26:09I'd forgotten it was Tuesday.
26:12Violet's always busy on a Tuesday.
26:14She finds it so time-consuming being wealthy,
26:18especially on a Tuesday.
26:20Don't hold Daddy in that position, Richard.
26:24I think what we'll do is to take Daddy in this direction.
26:27He's always like this direction.