- 14 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:27Listen to that!
00:41Do you think it's wise to appear outside scantily dressed, Elizabeth?
00:53Scantily dressed?
00:55This robe's like an army overcoat.
00:57It's just that with so many degenerates about...
01:00I thought I might just risk not finding one on my own doorstep.
01:03Oh, yes, I suppose you'd be all right.
01:07Elizabeth plays beautifully.
01:10Yes, he does, doesn't he?
01:13I do love Mendelssohn.
01:16It's Chopin, I think.
01:19Oh, yes, of course, Chopin.
01:24Some fool walking past said it was Mendelssohn.
01:28You see, not only degenerates, but musical ignoramuses as well.
01:33Ignorating me eye, I mean.
01:39Onslow.
01:41Oh.
01:43Why don't you grow a moustache?
01:53Do you want a moustache?
01:55Why don't you grow a moustache?
02:00I'd just like some little sign you were trying to exert some attraction over me, Onslow.
02:06A woman likes to be wooed.
02:09She should live in an atmosphere that crackles with sexual tension.
02:22Oh!
02:24The bouquet residence.
02:27The lady of the house speaking.
02:30Oh, Mrs Fortescue.
02:33It's Mrs Fortescue.
02:35Who?
02:37The old lady whose sister married a baronet.
02:39She's virtually aristocracy.
02:41She once injured you with her walking stick in church.
02:44Oh, that Mrs Fortescue.
02:46Yes, of course, Mrs Fortescue.
02:49As it happens, we are going into town.
02:51We are?
02:52We'd be delighted to give you a lift.
02:54Hyacinth.
02:55I expect her chauffeur's indisposed.
02:58Now, wear your better suit, Richard.
03:00No, there won't be any problem, I do assure you.
03:03I'm not so certain if she's going to be waving that walking stick around.
03:06Yes, you have met my husband.
03:08I believe you caught him once in church.
03:15Oh, Rick.
03:16I think our Rose is home.
03:20It must be time to get up.
03:31How can you lie there when I've been betrayed and abandoned?
03:36Have you no sympathy for a person's needs at a time of acute personal trauma?
03:42Oh, I must have a fag.
03:45Oh, give me some bag on clothes!
03:48I've been betrayed on the bandles!
03:52Oh!
03:54Oh!
03:55Give her a cigarette!
04:05Now, show me how you intend to greet Mrs Fortescue, who has chosen us to remember above all her acquaintances,
04:11blessed with their own transport.
04:13Now, show me.
04:17Ah, good morning, Mrs Fortescue.
04:19No, no, Richard.
04:22It's too tentative, dear.
04:24You must make her realise at once that you're a power in local authority circles.
04:30Now, try it again, dear.
04:33Well, couldn't I just say good morning, Mrs Fortescue, and wear a large label saying powerful in local authority circles.
04:40I don't think that's very amusing, dear.
04:42I hope you're not going to spoil things with lower middle-class humour.
04:47Now, conversation.
04:49What do you usually talk about in the car?
04:51Well, I think you'll find that usually you talk and I listen.
04:58Then let's not tamper with a winning system.
05:03What on earth is Hyacinth doing?
05:06You could pop outside and find out.
05:08I don't go out there.
05:09The minute she sets eyes on me, she begins to sing.
05:12I think she's after a part in your amateur operatic group.
05:16Knowing Hyacinth, it wouldn't be a part.
05:18It would be the part.
05:20That's true.
05:23What the devil is she doing?
05:28Close the door.
05:33Come on to the front door.
05:36No, no, no, dear.
05:38Shoulders back.
05:40Head high.
05:42No, don't be silly, dear.
05:44That's a bit better, yes.
05:46In case anybody's watching.
05:48That's what worries me.
05:50I don't mean here.
05:52I mean it Mrs Fortescue's.
05:55She might be peering through her window waiting for us to arrive.
05:59So I'm at the door. Now what?
06:01Ring the bell.
06:04Oh, go on, ring the bell.
06:09Oh, no, not like that, Richard.
06:11That was almost a tradesman's ring.
06:13Keep the index finger straight.
06:19For my sake, Richard, please practice your ring.
06:22It should be firm but friendly.
06:25Now let's move along.
06:28You will take Mrs Fortescue gently by the elbow.
06:34And escort her to the car.
06:37Taking care to avoid her walking stick.
06:39I'm sure it was just an accident with the walking stick.
06:42She's lethal with that.
07:14I told you. I told you.
07:17I told you.
07:25The bouquet residence, the lady of the house speaking.
07:29Oh, it's you, Violet.
07:32It's Violet.
07:33Make my excuses to Elizabeth and Emmett.
07:35Tell them it's my wealthiest sister, you know, the one who married the turf accountant.
07:39Large house, swimming pool, room for a pony.
07:43Now, Violet, I haven't got long to chat, dear.
07:46I'm going into town with the relative of a baronet.
07:49She does rather rely on me, yes.
07:53What's wrong with your husband, dear?
07:55Whims and fancies.
07:57They all have their whims and fancies.
08:01In what way is Bruce going strange?
08:08Well, I'm sorry, Violet, but I thought for a moment there that you said he wanted you both to dress
08:12up as Robin Hood and Maid Marian.
08:14Yes.
08:16Oh, he does want you both to dress up as Robin Hood and Maid Marian.
08:21What do you mean I haven't heard the worst part?
08:26He wants to be Maid Marian.
08:31We turn left here.
08:32We turn left here.
08:32I know we turn left here.
08:34Well, I own the right gear, dear.
08:36Which would you prefer?
08:38Hmm?
08:40And watch the cyclist.
08:42I'm watching the cyclist.
08:45She should be riding a bicycle wearing skirts short as that.
08:50Keep your eyes on the road, dear.
08:53But you just told me to watch the cyclist.
08:58Just watch the road, dear.
09:01What did Violet have to say this puts you in such a mood?
09:03What?
09:05The assist on the phone.
09:07What's the problem?
09:09Ah, it's Bruce.
09:11He's going off again.
09:13Where did he start?
09:14Tenerife.
09:16Sherwood Forest by the south.
09:19Watch the road, dear.
09:21What Sherwood Forest?
09:24He wants her to play Robin Hood.
09:29He's still taking the tablets, is he?
09:31Yes.
09:36It's a beautiful property.
09:40Her late husband was extremely fortunate in business.
09:45Don't forget to compliment her on her shrubbery.
09:48I'll be as nice as you like, as long as she doesn't attack me with that stick.
09:52It's up to you to keep an eye on the walking stick.
09:55She is an old lady.
09:56She's a damned agile old lady.
10:05Perhaps I should stay in the car.
10:08No, no.
10:10Perhaps I should meet her at the door.
10:15Then again, I don't want to look too eager.
10:18Perhaps I should stay in the car.
10:20No, no, no.
10:23I think the best thing is for you to ring the bell.
10:26And when she answers the door, she'll find me admiring her garden.
10:32A subtle compliment without going too far.
10:37As you tie, all right?
10:41Now, show me your smile.
10:43What?
10:44Your smile.
10:46Show me the smile with which you will greet her at the door.
10:50Oh, good grief, I see.
10:52Now, don't be obstructionist.
10:53Show me your smile.
10:58I don't have to do better than that.
11:02Sometimes I can understand the desire to get away from it all and play Robin Hood.
11:06Would I really?
11:11Well, go on.
11:12Go and ring the bell.
11:18I've got to find some way of finding out if he loves me.
11:23He says he does, but you know what liars men are.
11:27Do you think I should wear me hair in a bun?
11:30If he idolizes me like he says, how come I caught him wrapped snugly round Mrs. Bailey?
11:38Also, do you think I should put my hair up in a bun?
11:41Yeah, great.
11:42You don't even know what I said.
11:45Yeah, great.
11:46See?
11:47How can you tell if somebody really loves you?
11:50I mean, really loves you.
11:52I mean, wakes up in the middle of the night in a panic because she might be dead.
11:57As visions of you lying in your coffin.
12:01In something black and attractive.
12:06They don't even notice if you put your hair up in a bun.
12:09Oh, I've got to know if he loves me.
12:13Does he love you smoking other people's cigarettes?
12:16Bob, I'm slow.
12:19Nice.
12:25Smile, Richard.
12:28Good morning, Mrs. Fortescue.
12:31What?
12:32Did you miss the bell?
12:34Good morning, Mrs. Fortescue.
12:37Your garden's looking lovely.
12:40It was.
12:41It was him ringing the bell.
12:44Help Mrs. Fortescue to the car, Richard.
12:49What are you doing?
12:51Come on.
12:52You wanted a lift into town, Mrs. Fortescue.
12:55A lift?
12:56In the car?
13:02I don't need you to carry me.
13:04No worries.
13:14Would you help me with Mrs. Fortescue?
13:16I said, I'm coming.
13:18I'm coming.
13:19I'm coming.
13:20What's she doing in the bushes?
13:25No, Richard.
13:27Mrs. Fortescue must take my seat in the front.
13:33But I always prefer to be in the back with drivers I haven't travelled with before.
13:39I'll get away.
13:46Mind what you're doing, Richard?
13:51You're lethal with that stuff.
13:53You try to be socially, dear.
14:01How are you keeping, Mrs. Fortescue?
14:04Bored.
14:05I'm saying to go away my licence.
14:07Interfearing damn fools.
14:08I know what you're thinking.
14:11It wasn't drink and driving.
14:13Oh, I'm sure we wouldn't be thinking that, Mrs. Fortescue.
14:18What was it, Mrs. Fortescue?
14:20Speeding.
14:22I'm surprised it wasn't grievous bodily harm.
14:31Watch the car at the curb, dear.
14:33I'm watching the car at the curb.
14:35And take the next left.
14:36Take the next left.
14:37No!
14:37Not left.
14:40Go straight on.
14:42Go straight on.
14:43I thought left might be a more attractive route, Mrs. Fortescue.
14:47Go straight on.
14:50Go straight on.
14:55How fast is he going?
14:58Only 28 miles an hour, Mrs. Fortescue.
15:01Good grief.
15:02Can't he put his clog down?
15:07I'd love you to attend one of my candlelight suppers, Mrs. Fortescue.
15:12Candlelight what?
15:14Suppers!
15:16Have they cut off your electricity?
15:17No?
15:19I think subdued lighting makes a statement, don't you?
15:23I'd like to see what I'm eating.
15:25I'd be damned if I want to go blind.
15:32Watch where you're driving, dear.
15:35Slow down.
15:37Slow down.
15:38Are we stopping?
15:41Don't slow down, Richard.
15:43Doctor, there's a learner driver trying to turn right.
15:56How's it going?
16:00Who was that?
16:01Who was what?
16:03That man your husband was waving at me.
16:05Oh, he wasn't waving, Mrs. Fortescue.
16:07He was just signalling a turn.
16:10Much more of this than I think I'll have a turn.
16:13Harry, dear.
16:14Didn't look like anyone I'd expect you to know.
16:18I'm very perceptive of you to recognise that, Mrs. Fortescue.
16:28I'm going to tackle him face to face.
16:30I don't know why you need me with you.
16:32I need a witness.
16:33You could have given me time to do something with my hair.
16:36Nobody's got that much time.
16:41I'm going to have it out with him once and for all.
16:43I'm going to find out how much he really cares.
16:46You can't embarrass him while he's at work asking him if he loves you.
16:49Well, it'd embarrass him even more if I asked him at home.
16:52His wife would be listening.
16:55Is that Richard's car?
16:57Oh, good.
16:58Oh, he can give us a lift.
17:00Isn't that Daisy and Rose?
17:03Huh?
17:03It is.
17:04It's Daisy and Rose.
17:06Well, don't stop.
17:07Looks as though they want a lift.
17:08Don't stop.
17:11We'll have to stop.
17:12They've seen us.
17:13We can't cram them in the back with Mrs. Fortescue.
17:16Oh, we'll manage.
17:19Oh, we'll manage.
17:23Are they people you know?
17:26Well, you wouldn't find them at my candlelight suppers.
17:37She dragged me out.
17:38She wants a witness.
17:39I didn't have time to do my hair.
17:42Shove up, Rose.
17:44Would you shove up, please?
17:47How far are you going?
17:49That's what I intend to ask, Mr. Hallowatt.
17:54Don't you find love a torment?
17:58Well, I...
17:59I can't say I have for the past few years.
18:03Maybe I should have worn my hair in a bun.
18:11I love that man totally.
18:14Every Wednesday.
18:16Yes.
18:17She isn't interested in your romantic affairs, Rose.
18:20On the contrary, it's fascinating.
18:25You've a right to know where you stand.
18:27You've a right to know if he loves you.
18:31Suck!
18:33You know what?
18:35Look, there's a pub up ahead.
18:37If I'm going to be a witness to one of our Rose's big scenes,
18:41then I want a stiffener.
18:42We can't possibly find time to...
18:44Of course we can.
18:45The girls need a stiffener.
18:47And after hearing that slice of poor Rose's life,
18:50so do I.
18:52You've heard Mrs. Fortescue, Richard.
18:55She needs a stiffener.
19:12Oh!
19:14Are you all right, Mrs. Saskia?
19:15I'm all right.
19:18Who's all right?
19:28Isn't this Onslow's Bicycle?
19:30Huh?
19:33Oh, goody, oh, yes, why not?
19:36Let it be Onslow's Bicycle.
19:39Richard.
19:41I'm going to rescue Mrs. Fortescue.
19:44Me?
19:45You know I never go into public houses.
19:47Yes.
19:48Just go in there and help the woman out, she's practically been kidnapped.
19:53I'll wait in the car.
19:55I'd like her to see that there is at least one member of this family who's above frequenting
19:59public houses.
20:03Now go on, go on.
20:11Ah, just a lamp, I'll see you again.
20:13I'm not stopping Onslow.
20:15I'm supposed to rescue Mrs. Fortescue.
20:18You're back with a stick.
20:19He's fine.
20:21He always wears beautiful trousers.
20:24The first thing I noticed about him was his trousers.
20:27To anyone who knows our rose, this will come as no surprise.
20:31Shut your face, Onslow.
20:33This is Onslow, me husband Onslow.
20:35This is your husband and big, isn't he?
20:39And awkward.
20:41Onslow, Mrs. Fortescue thinks I should wear me hair in a bun.
20:46Gratant.
20:47Gratant.
21:05Gratant.
21:10Gratant.
21:12Gratant.
21:14Gratant.
21:15Gratant.
21:15Gratant.
21:16Gratant.
21:18Gratant.
21:19Gratant.
21:23Gratant.
21:28Onslow's a bit slipshod passion-wise.
21:31I thought it was the real thing this time.
21:34Understandably.
21:35As a token of his genuine affection, he bought me a set of naughty underwear.
21:42Really?
21:44I can't think of the last time Onslow bought me any underwear.
21:49Listen, I really must be getting back to the higher side.
21:51She's fine.
21:52I've just seen her chatting to some bloke with an empty tray.
21:58Whooo.
22:04To you.
22:24Thanks.
22:25Please, see.
22:45Oh, no.
22:46Not Mrs Barker Finch.
22:51Go on.
22:52Get off.
22:53Get off it.
23:12At last.
23:21Clear off.
23:24Clear off.
23:33Clear off.
23:36Clear off.
23:42Clear off.
23:43Clear off.
23:44Clear off.
23:46Clear off.
23:47Clear off.
23:48Clear off.
23:49Clear off.
23:50Clear off.
23:50Clear off.
23:50Clear off.
23:50Clear off.
23:51Clear off.
23:52Clear off.
23:52Clear off.
23:52Oh, my God.
24:22Oh, my God.
24:58Oh, my God.
25:15Oh, my God.
25:19Oh, my God.
25:49I'll straighten your tie.
25:50And what about poor Mrs Fortescue?
25:53Why haven't you rescued her?
25:55Come and see for yourself.
26:05What are you drinking, Iacinth?
26:07A very large whisky.
26:10Oh, nice.
26:17You have very interesting relatives, Mrs Buckets.
26:21Yes, they are.
26:27Very interesting.
26:37You see our fruits?
26:39Keep your eyes on the road there.