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00:16I don't look upon this like it's the end. I look upon it like it's moving on. It's
00:23almost like my work here is done. I can't imagine Jesus going, oh, I've told a few people
00:32here in Bethlehem, I'm the son of God. Can I just stay with mum and dad now? No, you've
00:36got to move on. You've got to spread the word. You've got to go to Nazareth, please. And that's
00:43very much like me. My world does not end with these four walls. Slough's a big place. And
00:51when I finish with Slough, there's Redding, Aldershot, Bracknell. You know, I've got
00:55a Didcut, Yately. You know, Wynersh, Taplow. You know, because I am my own boss, I can
01:04Burfield. I can wake up one morning and go, oh, I don't feel like working today. Can I
01:10just stay in bed? Oh, I don't know. You better ask the boss. David, can I stay in bed all
01:14day? Yes, you can, David. Both me. I'm not, that's not me in bed with another bloke called
01:22David.
01:23Oh. Be a bit weird for you, will it, when I'm off? Wow. Different. Sadder. Sadder. But
01:32I'm telling this to everyone. I do not want you going, oh, that's it, we're out of here,
01:37there's no point. Or walking around with your shoulders hunched. Sorry, can I just get my...
01:44Hello? Oh, that's great. No, that's a load off my mind. Oh, no, thanks for calling. Cheers.
01:49Bye. Sorry, what were you saying? I just, just, I want to, you know, erm...
01:54Oliver! In life. Hello. They took the lot, mate.
01:56Oliver? You lucky... You were brickly, you know, weren't you?
01:59I was, yes. All I'm saying is, erm, I don't want you, I'm going to leave you with...
02:11Steve. It's Jamie. They took the lot, mate. Yeah. No, it's a team effort. Yeah. Oh, well,
02:20that's one, I thought. Don't we fine? We're absolutely fine.
02:23Oh, here he is. The big man.
02:31Ow. Clumsy.
02:51Hello. Hiya. Hiya. How are you? I'm alright. How are you?
02:57My mum and dad phoned me last night. Mm-hm. Erm...
03:00Basically, we have this beautiful little cottage in the New Forest. Mm-hm.
03:04Once a year, we kind of organise this, erm, family do,
03:08and, erm, my mum and dad wanted to know whether we'd like to come.
03:11Oh, well, shit, I can't. When is it?
03:13Well, we'll have about, like, a week, two weeks notice or... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:18It'll be on the weekend, fella. That's what, yeah, that's tricky. That's a problem.
03:23Well, I... Potentially. I kind of told them that we'd, that we'd go.
03:26You told them? Well, I've... I wish you'd asked me.
03:43Hello.
03:45Oggie, Oggie, Oggie! Oi, oi, oi!
03:47Alright, Oggie? Pino here, on speakerphone.
03:50You on speakerphone? Yep.
03:54Tits? Who were at that?
03:55Everyone, you mentalist. Shut up. What do you want?
03:57You coming down, er, Texas tonight for Gobliners Birthday?
04:00Yeah, definitely. Do you mean the perv coming?
04:02Yeah, yeah. What about fish fingers?
04:04Oh, fish fingers can't come cos, er, Susan caught him,
04:06getting off with her face. With the norks.
04:08Oh, that is mental.
04:10Yeah.
04:12Er... I'll see you later, then.
04:14Go nuts!
04:16You mentalist.
04:19You hear that? Mm-hmm.
04:21Oh, monster.
04:26Here we are. The madhouse.
04:29Hiya.
04:30Hi.
04:31Hi.
04:36Hiya.
04:37Hiya.
04:38Hiya.
04:40Hiya.
04:41Hiya.
04:42Hiya.
04:42Hiya.
04:42Hiya.
04:42Hiya.
04:43Hiya.
04:43Hiya.
04:43Hiya.
04:44Hiya.
04:44Hiya.
04:45Hiya.
04:45Hiya.
04:46Hiya.
04:47Hiya.
04:47Hiya.
05:00Hiya.
05:00She's writing an article on me for subject matter.
05:09Right.
05:10What do you want to know?
05:12Do you mind if I talk to some of your staff later?
05:15Why?
05:16Well, my train doesn't leave till 1.30, so I'll hang about if that's OK and have a chat with
05:19someone.
05:19Well, I want to see what they say before...
05:22I'm not going to put the thing nasty in.
05:23Well, they won't say anything nasty, though.
05:27OK.
05:29Right, so would you like to tell me about your individual outlook on management?
05:33Sure.
05:34Put, David Brent is refreshingly laid back for a man with such responsibility.
05:40Yeah, can you just answer in your own words and I'll work it up better.
05:46Brent mused and then replied...
05:47Sorry, Ned, do you just say what's on your mind and I'm getting it down?
05:51Well, are you getting it down?
05:52Because you're not doing shorthand and I'm going to be pretty...
05:56Just...
05:57Well, OK, your question, I suppose, was...
06:00Is it difficult to remain authoritative and yet so popular?
06:04Well, no, that wasn't my question.
06:05Well, shall I answer that one first?
06:07Sorry, no, can we just stick to my questions?
06:08Well, maybe you should be clear what the question is, because I'm getting a little bit.
06:12And that's, you know...
06:14OK.
06:19But that's what...
06:20He's on the knock.
06:21That's just offensive.
06:22What's so funny?
06:23Nothing.
06:24Nothing.
06:26I was just, um...
06:28I was talking to, um, Emma about...
06:30What is that, um, pub we went to?
06:33Oh, good jolly.
06:35There's Keenan, hello.
06:36Hi, baby, it's Anne.
06:37All right?
06:38Are you coming around tonight?
06:39Uh, can't.
06:40Going up chases with the lads.
06:42Oh, come around first.
06:43We'll have a bit of time together.
06:45All right.
06:46Have some fun?
06:47Yeah.
06:48Are you, um, going to bring the toys again?
06:51Um, yeah.
06:54Kate.
06:56Yeah, look forward to doing it to you two.
07:00All right.
07:01Bye.
07:04The toys?
07:05Shut up.
07:07What are the toys?
07:08Is it Buckaroo?
07:10It's not Boggle, is it?
07:11Shut up.
07:13If it's Kaplum, I'm coming around.
07:15It was actually a private phone call, so...
07:17Well, don't put it on speakerphone, then, Gareth.
07:20Yeah, the jolly farmer is off the...
07:21Is it Hungry Hippo?
07:26Private life, then, just to flesh out David Brent, the man.
07:28Is there a better hell?
07:32David quipped,
07:32why buy a book when you can join the library?
07:37So you play the field?
07:38Well, I'm not going around, like, using chicks and shit,
07:40but I'm just, you know, chilling out while I'm young, I suppose.
07:43So...
07:43And is there a chick in town at the moment?
07:45Ooh.
07:45I don't kiss and tell.
07:48I'm just trying to find out if you're in a relationship at the moment.
07:50Well, Brent says no comment.
07:53Right, so you don't have a girlfriend?
07:55Well, you know, what is a girlfriend?
07:58And there's someone you'd have sex with?
07:59Oh, I don't get coarse in a magazine for the public.
08:02I don't think you'd win a Pulitzer for filth.
08:13I've got this from my mate Gobbler.
08:16It's his birthday.
08:17We're all going up Chasers tonight.
08:18What's this?
08:19Oh, yeah.
08:21Oh, yeah.
08:21Come on, come on, baby.
08:24Come on, come on, baby.
08:26Watch.
08:26Watch.
08:32Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no.
08:38You know Gobbler, don't you?
08:39Oh, yeah.
08:40You've seen this?
08:40Oh, yeah.
08:41Come on, come on, baby.
08:44Come on, come on, baby.
08:45Watch, watch, watch, watch.
08:52You'll love that.
08:53Oh, oh, oh.
08:59You know, I don't give myself a hard time about things, particularly.
09:0230 is young now, anyway.
09:04I'm not someone who has specific goals about, you know, having done this or that by my age.
09:10I should have done this.
09:10Why haven't I taken that chance?
09:12I just think, well, I don't know.
09:13If you look at life like rolling a dice, then my situation now, as it stands, yeah, it may only
09:19be a three.
09:20If I jack that in now, go for something bigger and better, yeah, I could easily roll a six.
09:25No problem.
09:25I could roll a six.
09:26I could also roll a one.
09:28Okay, so I think sometimes just leave the dice alone.
09:50That's why my professionalism is probably only as important as, I mean, my, um, humanism.
09:59Hi, um, I just wondered if you've got any time for a little chat.
10:02I've always got time for my staff, Dawn.
10:04You know that.
10:05He's always got time for staff.
10:07Um, before you go...
10:09Even though a lot happening and his mind should be on other stuff, you still shoot.
10:14Okay, um, before you leave, I wanted to hand in my notice.
10:18Oh, no.
10:20Thought this would happen.
10:21Who else is thinking of doing this, Dawn?
10:23Um, don't think anyone is.
10:25Don't throw your career away just because I'm leaving, yeah?
10:27I know it won't be the same, and you'll, you know, but you'll probably get to know someone else and,
10:31you know...
10:31That's not why I'm actually going.
10:33I've read between the lines.
10:34Well, you haven't read it.
10:35Very flattering, but is it just a coincidence that you're handing in your notice when I'm leaving?
10:40Yes, it is.
10:42Is it?
10:42Is it?
10:43Um, my house.
10:44Why are you leaving, if you don't mind my house?
10:46Hey, no, um, do you want to go away with my fiancée?
10:48Oh, where are you going?
10:49States.
10:50Well, all right, okay, we're just...
10:51Yeah, thanks.
10:51What are you going to write about this?
10:52Because I thought we...
10:53Okay, cheers.
10:54I thought we were...
10:56Getting back to...
10:58Strings to Brent's Bow.
11:01A philanthropist.
11:09Hiya.
11:09Um, have you got a minute?
11:10Yeah, sure.
11:11Um, I don't know if you know, but, um, when David goes, we're probably going to do an external
11:15appointment.
11:16But, uh, we wondered if you'd do us a favour in the meantime and, uh, be a caretaking manager
11:21for a while.
11:22Oh, blimey.
11:23Just, um...
11:24God.
11:25Doing David's job, you know, for a bit overseeing.
11:28And, obviously, they'd be acting up pay.
11:30Right.
11:30Well, that's really flattering, thank you.
11:32Of course.
11:33Listen, I'm going to say no, and...
11:35I mean, it's just, it's a bit more work for a lot more money.
11:37Yep, I understand.
11:38I've got nothing to spend it on.
11:40So...
11:41It's only, only temporary.
11:42I thought that about this job, and I've been here for you, you know.
11:45Um...
11:46Okay.
11:46Sometimes, you know, um...
11:48Listen, I think you should give it to Gareth.
11:51Seriously.
11:52I do think you should.
11:53He's, uh, you know, he's...
11:54Takes things seriously.
11:56He's conscientious.
11:57He works hard.
11:59Um, he's responsible.
12:01He knows this place inside.
12:02I don't know, you know, I think, you know, genuinely, I think he might be the man for it, you
12:06know.
12:06Great.
12:07Thanks, Tim.
12:08Listen, I just wanted to ask, yeah.
12:10Much appreciated.
12:11Oh, no!
12:18It says here that for women, the most important qualities in a man are...
12:22Eyes, smile, flat stomach, buttocks.
12:29Yep.
12:31You got good buttocks, Gareth?
12:32Yes.
12:33Can we see them?
12:35No.
12:35Gay.
12:38Okay, well, let's put it out.
12:40Sheila, what do you look for in a bloke?
12:48I like blacks.
12:49I like blacks.
12:59Cool.
13:01Trudy, what about you?
13:04Mmm.
13:04I quite like sight men, actually.
13:06Yeah, I understand that.
13:08Would that be yours as well?
13:10No.
13:11What do you look for in a man?
13:13Rugged, good looks.
13:15You always told me it was a good sense of humour.
13:18Yeah, you've got that.
13:20You've got a good sense of humour.
13:21Yeah, I know.
13:22I know.
13:27Okay.
14:00All right, Rach, can you go for a sec?
14:02Oh, I'll work.
14:08I just wanted to say, um, no, I don't know how to say it.
14:16Um, oh, this is so cool.
14:27Well done.
14:28She's crying.
14:30Oh, no, just leave it.
14:32Sorry, it's up to me to clear up your mess.
14:33Yeah, okay, I'm begging you, just stay out of it, mate, okay?
14:36Uh, no, you dumped her, so nothing to do with you anymore.
14:40She obviously needs someone to cheer her up.
14:41Okay, don't take Bertie Bertie, all right?
14:43Don't go at all.
14:44I beg you, don't take Bertie.
14:46Overruled.
14:46Okay, I think you have to go, okay?
14:47Don't take Bertie, please.
14:54Hi, I, um...
14:56Fuck off.
14:59Potty mouth.
15:08Oh.
15:13There you go.
15:15So, stay in touch.
15:16Yeah, cheers.
15:22People can't believe I'm this happy to be leaving, and it's, you know, it's not because there's anything wrong with
15:27it.
15:27It's because, you know, I did that thing at the community centre.
15:30Yeah, well, as I was giving that motivational speech, I could literally see them all getting all motivated from it,
15:40and that's, you know, it's like being born again, and it showed me how much I had to offer other
15:47people.
15:48And these are the guys from Cooper and Webb, the management training consultants I'm dealing with at the moment.
15:54This is Ray.
15:55This is Jude.
15:55Hi.
15:56Um, this is Helena.
15:58Uh, she's writing a, quite a big article on me for Inside Paper, a trade magazine, so, you know, I've
16:03mentioned our thing, so, Mike, you don't mind if she sits in on this gig, do you?
16:07Uh, no, not if you don't.
16:08Uh, I'm cool here.
16:10Okay.
16:14Hello, and I'm Hulk.
16:19Yep.
16:21Yeah, all right?
16:22Um, I'm going to be in, in a few days, um...
16:24Okay.
16:25Obviously, if you've got any problem, just give me a call, uh, at, uh...
16:33Okay.
16:33See you later.
16:36Bye, then.
16:39All right, mate.
16:40All right.
16:41Probably wondering who they're going to offer David's job to.
16:44Me.
16:44Has he got it?
16:45Yes.
16:46Oh, brilliant.
16:47Congratulations, mate.
16:48Things are going to start changing around here, so you can start bucking your ideas up.
16:51Uh, something with your appearance.
16:55It's going to be a well-oiled, tight ship around these here parts.
17:03So what sort of management training is it?
17:05Uh, we, we...
17:06Well, I'll say it's, um, they use celebrity speakers.
17:10Expert speakers.
17:12And my personal tip is my rise to the top, which gives it a whole new edge.
17:17So, okay.
17:19So, where are we?
17:21Shoot.
17:23Um, we'd like to thank you very much for the time you've given us.
17:26No sweat.
17:26It's what I do.
17:27But we won't be using you again, I'm afraid.
17:28You won't be?
17:31Why not?
17:32It's just not exactly what we were looking for.
17:34No, I know, but I'll do it how you...
17:36I did it like that, because that was the vibe of the day, wasn't it?
17:39And I just, you know, but I'll do it differently.
17:41How do you...
17:41How do you want me to do it?
17:42We have a very specific idea of what it is that we're looking for, and we know...
17:46Oh, fucking hell!
17:53And we would like to...
17:55Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yada, yada, yada.
17:58Go on and get a time wasters.
18:00But we're really sorry about...
18:01I'll get out.
18:02Go on.
18:06Wasting a time.
18:23Would you mind if I just took a quick photo?
18:26Yeah.
18:34I'm just waiting for the flesh to...
18:38Green light.
18:45Okay.
18:50Right.
18:50Can I just take one more sip for safety?
18:59I'm waiting for the green light.
19:09Right.
19:09Right.
19:10Okay.
19:13Okay.
19:41I've just heard you were leaving.
19:44Oh, mate.
19:45Say it isn't sorry.
19:47Because it ran fast.
19:48It's true?
19:51Were you going to tell me?
19:53God, yeah.
19:54Right, you were? Yes.
19:56OK, OK.
19:58You going to another job?
20:00No. Lee and I are going to go away.
20:04On holiday?
20:05No, no, we're going to Florida.
20:08For about six months.
20:10Something like that.
20:11Six months?
20:13Well, Lee's sister, she lives out there.
20:16So we could live with her.
20:19And he's not happy in his job.
20:20I'm not happy in mine.
20:21Is there a name for this?
20:23I don't know.
20:25Starting again.
20:29We're just going to get our heads together, I think.
20:35Cool.
20:38Oh, God, hello.
20:40Hi.
20:40You're an adventurer.
20:41She's telling me about the American family.
20:43Yeah, yeah, my sister's over there, yeah.
20:45Brilliant.
20:45Got a big house, haven't they?
20:47Haven't seen it yet?
20:47Yeah, I've seen pictures of it.
20:49It's a big place.
20:50Her husband's raking it as well, so...
20:52Yeah, I've seen, yeah.
20:52Yeah.
20:53We thought we'd get on those mobile homes, you know,
20:55drive up the coast, do the beaches,
20:57until the cash runs out.
20:59I suppose come home, or better still,
21:00get a place out there, if we like it.
21:02Accommodation is well cheap.
21:03Is it?
21:03Yeah.
21:04I mean, if Dawn gets a job on reception now,
21:05she'll be twice as well off, so...
21:07Oh.
21:07Makes sense.
21:08Fancy that.
21:09Nice, wouldn't it?
21:10Brilliant.
21:11Well, good luck.
21:11I'd better get back to it.
21:12Cheers, yeah.
21:13Have a great time.
21:13Cheers, mate.
21:15Hello.
21:15Hello.
21:16How are you there?
21:17Good.
21:17So, give the swimming costumes as I own.
21:19Peenies.
21:21A real relationship isn't like a fairy tale.
21:24If you think that, for the next 40 years,
21:26every time you see each other, you're gonna go,
21:28or, you know, every time you hold hands,
21:30there's gonna be electricity,
21:30and you're kidding yourself, really.
21:32You know, what about reliability,
21:35or, um, someone paying a mortgage,
21:37or someone who's never been out of work?
21:40Those are the more important, practical things,
21:42you know, in reality.
21:46Hi, can I speak to Gavin?
21:51Hi, Gavin.
21:52Yeah.
22:26You know, as I said at the time, when I asked Dawn out,
22:28I didn't ask her out.
22:29I asked her out as a friend.
22:31You know, I felt sorry for her,
22:32because she was having trouble with Lee at the time.
22:34It was no, it wasn't like a, you know,
22:37under different circumstances.
22:38And sure, something may have happened,
22:39but, you know, she's going away now,
22:42and you can't, you know, you act, you can't act,
22:45you can't change circumstances.
22:48You know.
22:53Sorry. Excuse me.
23:04Reunion.
23:07Don't look.
23:08Thank you very much.
23:58She said no, by the way.
24:06You all right, do you?
24:07Yep, fine.
24:07You?
24:08Yeah.
24:09Good.
24:09Small talk done.
24:11Go on.
24:11Thanks very much.
24:13Everyone really appreciates what you've done.
24:17Yeah.
24:20Okay, down to business.
24:23That's what we've come up with as a redundancy offer.
24:29Yeah, more than I expected.
24:31We've been quite generous.
24:33That have been.
24:35Um...
24:35Now, um, you can leave on the 3rd with your holiday, I understand, which is Tuesday.
24:41Now, we wondered if you wanted to come back for a party on the Friday or leave on the Friday
24:45before.
24:47Whatever.
24:48Okay, well, again, thanks very much, David.
24:52Don't make me redundant.
24:57Please.
25:00Look, David.
25:01I don't...
25:01I've changed my mind.
25:02I don't want redundancy.
25:03I don't want that.
25:04I haven't signed anything.
25:06So...
25:07Well...
25:08David, unfortunately, it's not really up to you.
25:09Okay, then.
25:10Sorry.
25:10All right, then.
25:11Well, I'm asking.
25:12Okay?
25:13Please don't make you redundant.
25:19You can...
25:20You can talk to someone, Jenny.
25:22The wheel's already in motion.
25:24No, we'll stop them, because...
25:25David, we're not going to discuss this now.
25:28No, but just say that it's not definite now, before you go.
25:32And we can...
25:35I will try twice as hard.
25:37I really will.
25:38I know I've been complacent, and I'll...
25:39I'll turn this place around, if we just say that it's not definite now.
25:43And then we can...
25:44And you're not going until...
25:46If you're starting from now.
25:48Starting from now.
26:05Life is just a series of peaks and troughs.
26:08Yeah?
26:09And...
26:10You don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out.
26:13Or on a peak until you're coming down.
26:16And...
26:17That's it.
26:17You know, you never know what's around the corner.
26:19Uh, but it's all good.
26:21You know?
26:21Um...
26:22You know?
26:23If you want the rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain.
26:27Do you know which philosopher said that?
26:29Dolly Parton.
26:31Yeah.
26:31Possibly slip in some head that!"
26:32And people say she's just a big pair of tits.
26:35She's just a big pair of tits.