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00:13Transcrição e Legendas Pedro Negri
00:33Hello, everyone. Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:37I'm Greg Davies, who, as I'm known in Spain,
00:39the snake-hipped matador of authority,
00:41El Maestro de Taras.
00:43When I asked our new contestants
00:45why they would want to put themselves
00:47through the grueling challenges of this show,
00:49the consensus was they wanted to show
00:51a different side of their personalities.
00:53Now, just two episodes in,
00:55they're all screaming,
00:56NOT THAT SIDE!
00:58I've kept that side hidden!
01:01Why do you want to show that side?
01:04Let's see if we can calm them down.
01:07They are...
01:09Alan Davis!
01:10Desiree Burch!
01:13Jens Kahn!
01:14Morgana Robinson!
01:16And Victoria Curran-Mitchell!
01:19And next to me,
01:21a man who walks like a weird
01:23Victorian clockwork toy soldier.
01:27It's...
01:29Little Alex Hall!
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:34I've got my latest invention with me.
01:37OK.
01:38It's a prototype.
01:39It's called an Alex.
01:41And you can ask it anything,
01:43anything at all,
01:44and it will answer it.
01:44You can just say,
01:45Alex,
01:46what's the weather going to be like tomorrow?
01:49BELL RINGS
01:49Tomorrow,
01:50the weather in UK
01:51will be fresh.
01:52Fresh.
01:53There we go.
01:53So, any question,
01:54it will answer it.
01:56Can I ask you who Greg Davis is?
01:58By all means.
01:59Alex,
01:59who is Greg Davis?
02:09BELL RINGS
02:10That's the end of it, is it?
02:11That's all it could find out.
02:15Right.
02:16On we go.
02:17What's the prize task category, Alex?
02:19Today, you asked them to bring in
02:20the most old-fashioned thing
02:22that you still use.
02:24I'd bring in my stirrups
02:25or my petticoat.
02:26As always,
02:27there are five points available
02:28for the best item brought in,
02:29and the winner of the episode
02:30will take home
02:31all five old-fashioned things
02:32and have the makings
02:33of their very own museum.
02:36Stirrups or petticoat, is it?
02:38Well, yeah.
02:38It's something I would still use.
02:39It's just amazing
02:40that stuff's pre-written.
02:45Morgana?
02:45I've brought in my Nana's Whizzer.
02:47OK.
02:48Yes, it's not a euphemism.
02:49Here it is.
02:49They don't make them
02:50like they used to.
02:51It's built like a brick shit house.
02:54Is it?
02:54I use it at least once a week,
02:57and I think of my Nana
02:58every time I whiz up
03:00a bit of aquafaba.
03:03In order for this not to come last...
03:05LAUGHTER
03:07You're going to need to turn up
03:08the emotional knob
03:09quite a lot.
03:10So, are you very close to her?
03:11She's in Australia.
03:13No, then.
03:14Oh, well, emotionally, yes,
03:16but geographically, no, so...
03:18OK.
03:18Last place.
03:20LAUGHTER
03:21Who's next?
03:22Alan?
03:23I've brought in a VCR
03:26and a VHS cassette.
03:28Yes.
03:29LAUGHTER
03:31Yes!
03:32The player and the cassette.
03:33And Jonathan Creek?
03:34Happy time?
03:35Yeah, happy time,
03:36happy memories.
03:37That's how I once looked.
03:38I always had that expression
03:39on my face
03:40throughout the 90s.
03:41You are largely
03:42going with that face now.
03:44LAUGHTER
03:44I like that, Alan,
03:46and it speaks to me
03:47as a man of a certain vintage.
03:50LAUGHTER
03:50That's all right.
03:51What have you brought in?
03:52Well, I have brought in
03:54my chaise longue,
03:56but now that I've moved to the UK,
03:57I've come to understand
03:58that there are various names,
03:59so I think this might actually
04:01be a fainting couch.
04:02Oh!
04:03That is nice.
04:04That is nice.
04:05Yeah, I want to say
04:06it's from the 1920s-ish,
04:08at least that's what they told me
04:10when they charged me
04:11several hundred pounds for it.
04:12and, you know,
04:13it's the kind of thing
04:13I can come home, unwind,
04:15just relax and think about
04:16how fabulous my life was that day
04:18and how even more fabulous
04:19it will be the next day.
04:21Yeah, it's lovely.
04:21It's a lovely item
04:22and before it goes to its owner,
04:23but all back to you,
04:24I hope I get to have
04:25a little drape on it.
04:26I hope so too.
04:27I would like to personally see that
04:28and keep that in the old memory file.
04:30OK.
04:32Whenever you want.
04:35Right, I've been a bit thrown
04:37by a good prize, Guz,
04:38so, uh, help us out.
04:39I believe the key issue
04:41that we all face
04:42in 2021
04:43is the social media.
04:45All the time
04:46we're being bombarded
04:47with shit and opinions
04:49that be messing up your psyche
04:50and your emotional state,
04:51so I like to detox
04:53from what they call
04:53the smartphone,
04:54which I think is ruining
04:55the world,
04:55by using
04:56an old-school phone.
04:58Yes!
04:59That is a lovely,
05:01lovely bit of kit.
05:02Thank you, bro,
05:03and I've had that since the day
05:04it came out the box new,
05:05so there's an emotional
05:06attachment to it.
05:07Has it got a snake on it?
05:08It's got a snake two on it, bro,
05:09which is even better than this.
05:11Snake two, this time it's personal.
05:13LAUGHTER
05:15It's a genuinely good prize.
05:18Victoria, what have you brought in?
05:21Tippex.
05:21Yes.
05:22Vintage.
05:23Because I'm absolutely with Guz
05:25about the internet.
05:25One of the other things
05:26that's wrong with it
05:27is some kind of mistake
05:28stays there forever.
05:29You do something stupid
05:30as a teenager,
05:31it's there forever.
05:31Yeah.
05:32In my world,
05:33you type things on paper,
05:35don't like it,
05:36but a bit of Tippex
05:36over the top is gone.
05:39Well, look,
05:40I'll pass some judgement.
05:41Before I do, Victoria,
05:42are there any prizes here
05:44that you think are
05:44worse than Tippex?
05:46LAUGHTER
05:48Well...
05:48I mean,
05:49the thing is,
05:50I...
05:51I have all the other things
05:53apart from the chaise longue,
05:54which I covet.
05:55So I've already decided
05:57that Tippex is better
05:58than three of the things.
05:59So you think
06:00I should put you
06:01at the number two slot?
06:03Yeah.
06:04OK.
06:05Well, should I put
06:05four points to Victoria?
06:07No, let me have a little thing.
06:09No, I'll tell you what,
06:10let's give Victoria one point.
06:11One point.
06:13For bringing some Tippex in.
06:17Oh, God, Morgana.
06:19Don't, look, don't!
06:21OK.
06:22So is that two points to Morgana?
06:23Yeah, I'm sorry.
06:25Three points to Alan.
06:27Oh, three points to the VCR.
06:28Now, here's the controversy.
06:30Guz versus Desiree.
06:31A lovely chaise longue
06:32versus some rubbish old phone.
06:34But let me explain my thinking.
06:36I just...
06:37I despise social media
06:38and I love that Guz
06:39is just taking time out
06:40and I think it's a really
06:41positive message for the kids.
06:43I really do.
06:44But I am going to put you second.
06:47OK, so five points to Desiree Birch.
06:48All right.
06:54Let's see a task proper.
06:57Copy that
06:57and copy me.
07:12and copy me.
07:14Hi.
07:15Hi, Desiree.
07:17Hello.
07:18Hello, Victoria.
07:20Hello.
07:21It's really tight in this church.
07:22You look a bit wedged.
07:25It's a very good word.
07:29Copy Alex.
07:31Alex will demonstrate his actions twice.
07:34Then you will have
07:35one attempt to copy Alex.
07:37Closest copy wins.
07:40I like this one.
07:41Are you wearing your earpiece, Morgana?
07:44Are you wearing your earpiece, Morgana?
07:46I haven't started the actions yet.
07:47Oh, I say so.
07:48You can watch me.
07:49You can make notes.
07:51Oh, OK.
07:52Let's go.
07:54One, two, three, four, two, two, three, four, start.
08:21One, two, three, four, three, four, start.
08:337
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16:1211
16:12.
16:22Olá, baby!
16:24Yeah!
16:25Oh, got a close look.
16:26This is rather splendid.
16:28Thank you.
16:29That's a big egg.
16:31No, no, everything else is small.
16:33Is it?
16:35I'm expecting a fire because there's sand and water.
16:39You can really play God on this, can't you?
16:43Oh.
16:50I think that's actual dirt. What is that?
16:53Thought it might be sugar. I can't tell.
16:55That's probably water.
16:58It's never going away.
17:01Make the highest sand bridge across the river.
17:05You may not leave the lab.
17:07Your sand bridge must support the egg.
17:09And the egg must be able to pass under the sand bridge.
17:15There are two bonus points for the most extravagant sand bridge.
17:20You have 15 minutes.
17:22This is the sand, isn't it?
17:24Yes.
17:24And it's just one egg?
17:25Yes.
17:26Your time starts now.
17:28OK, cool.
17:31Just checking it's real.
17:34Egg bridge.
17:35Lovely.
17:36Well, I really enjoyed Morgana thinking she could play God,
17:39walking in and trying to blow her tree over and bail it.
17:43Why would a grown woman enter a room and immediately eat some sand?
17:54I can think of no good reason.
17:58She did say she thought it might be sugar but even then you don't.
18:03I mean, this show just puts you in such a state where you feel like
18:06you don't know what you know and I don't know if I thought I was like
18:09in Beverly Hills Cop or something.
18:11And I was like, oh, what's in there?
18:14It's like, oh, sand.
18:16Incredible.
18:16Incredible scenes before the task's even begun.
18:19Mm-hm.
18:19Right.
18:20Who are we going to see?
18:21Well, it's an incredible coincidence but we're going to start with Desiree
18:24and Victoria again.
18:26Here they are.
18:27Does the bridge have to be made exclusively from sand?
18:30I think you'd want the locals to refer to it as the sand bridge.
18:33My husband used to go to Swansea to see his grandparents.
18:35He would say the chip bridge.
18:37It wasn't made out of chips.
18:39OK.
18:40Isn't this how the kids do it?
18:43OK, interesting.
18:45Now I just need another ten of those.
18:48I don't feel like this is how Brunel would have done it.
18:58How the fuck do I move that?
19:01Does it support the egg?
19:04Yes.
19:04Can the egg go under it?
19:05Yes, it can.
19:06Now we just need the locals to call it the sand bridge,
19:08which they will do.
19:10Yes.
19:11No!
19:12All right.
19:12The underlying principles are there.
19:15Just pull that on there.
19:17OK, wait.
19:18OK, no, that's no.
19:19No, no, no.
19:20OK.
19:21Right.
19:26Just for washing my hands in.
19:28Oh, that's nice.
19:30Very nice.
19:31Is this just a random crow?
19:32I think it's the raven.
19:34The egg goes under.
19:37Can it support the weight of the egg?
19:41Can I blast into the mountain?
19:44There are two bonus points for the most extravagant sand bridge.
19:53That's right, this is nothing.
19:56Finished?
19:57Done.
20:01I mean, that's a great bridge, right?
20:04It's fine, is it?
20:05It's fine.
20:06The camel is the problem.
20:08Isn't it?
20:10I'm done.
20:11I'll go quickly.
20:12Yeah.
20:13Thank you, Victoria.
20:14Thank you.
20:15Can I see it go all the way through?
20:17Oh, yeah.
20:20Thank you, guys.
20:21Thank you.
20:27Wow.
20:29Oh, I didn't just see that.
20:30Yeah.
20:31They were very similar bridges.
20:33How am I?
20:33Extravagance to both contestants is to put a cow on top of a bridge.
20:39And Victoria's got quite a knack of making it seem like it's her task.
20:44And you're the one doing it.
20:48It's sort of right.
20:49OK, you're setting me a task, but I'll tell you right now, this isn't right.
20:53And I can imagine Alex going, yes, yes, I'll do whatever you want.
20:57It's a delight to behold.
20:59You have this sort of, like, unflabbable authority that you carry yourself with.
21:03That's it.
21:04Isn't that genuinely how it looks to you?
21:05Because to me, it looks like an absolute disintegration.
21:09Now, I feel that you could walk into any situation and say,
21:12right, this is what we're going to do.
21:14And anyone in the room would do it.
21:16Yeah.
21:17When all's said and done, your authority's impressive.
21:19But it was a terrible bridge.
21:23Desiree, I think you misread the task.
21:26And you thought the task was,
21:28eat some sand and then make some sandcastles.
21:32She makes some lovely sandcastles.
21:34She did.
21:35Look, you've got this whole thing of sand.
21:37The only way I know how to get it to do anything solid is to add water to it.
21:40And then that didn't work.
21:42And then I was like, maybe if I get it compact enough, I can drill through.
21:45That didn't work.
21:46And then I came to the same conclusion that the house was the only thing that would ever make a
21:50bridge.
21:50Yeah, I love the way that you list the logical things you can do with sand.
21:54Yeah.
21:55Post-eating it.
21:57OK.
21:59So, it's two potential sandbridge-making goliaths now.
22:03Alan and Guz.
22:07Yes.
22:08You'll know that helped me.
22:12Sandbridge here.
22:14Sandbridge there.
22:15Water.
22:16Because water's very fundamental to building sandbridges, isn't it?
22:18OK.
22:19I'm sure that was on country file or some shit.
22:20Here we go.
22:21So...
22:21I don't really...
22:23I was thinking about making a bridge out of that and covering that in sand.
22:26OK.
22:27But that doesn't really look like a sandbridge.
22:29It feels like I might be straying towards disqualification.
22:32Look what I've done.
22:33I've utilised a cow to build a sandbridge.
22:40It starts to soak up the water.
22:42You can wet it, but it'll stay on.
22:47It's a bridge, ain't it?
22:48Yeah.
22:53That's not sand though, is it?
22:54Even if I put sand upon it...
22:57I don't think it's in the spirit of the task.
23:00I've got underneath too.
23:02Yeah, that's my concern.
23:04I'm going to do something drastic.
23:07Look, I know...
23:09I know it's falling apart right now, but look what I'm going to do.
23:12You didn't have this in me, did you?
23:14It might work.
23:15I want to let rest on top of it.
23:19I was going to say I found a crow, but obviously I didn't find a crow.
23:22I just scooped it into the foundation.
23:25OK.
23:25Now watch this.
23:31Welcome to the world.
23:33I believe that's passed through.
23:38So is that a sandbridge or a cowbridge?
23:41Well...
23:42Look.
23:44How's that for extravagant?
23:46Four minutes there coming.
23:47The sandbridge is collapsing.
23:48It's looking good for a bit.
23:50I don't know what to do now. How long have I got?
23:52Not long.
23:52You know, I've had this idea for 15 minutes now
23:55and I've lost all confidence with it in the last two minutes.
23:58Oh!
24:01It's in the first place.
24:03Look, there's a...
24:04What's that? A crow?
24:05It's a raven.
24:06It's a raven for your blood clot egg.
24:07Look at that.
24:09I'm done, baby.
24:10Thanks, guys.
24:18Hurrah!
24:19Sandbridge.
24:19Egg passing through.
24:24WHISTLE BLOWS
24:26Yeah.
24:27That was super.
24:29Interesting.
24:30Alan did make a sandbridge.
24:32He did make a sandbridge.
24:33His bridge was all sand.
24:35And there was high emotion on the way to the sandbridge being created as well,
24:39because when Alan had formed his two foundations
24:42and he got a bit exasperated and smashed them together,
24:45in studio, Morgana went,
24:47NO, ALAN!
24:49I was true. I was on the edge of my seat.
24:52Yeah.
24:52It's incredible.
24:53Cuz, I feel like we're getting to know each other now,
24:55and I think you've got a technique, and it's this.
24:58Huge initial confidence.
25:01Low score.
25:03LAUGHTER
25:05OK, but listen, all we had to use is the tools that we had at hand in here.
25:08Quite.
25:08Is a big...
25:09Was it wood or plastic, the house?
25:11The house was made of a variety of materials.
25:13I'll tell you what, the house isn't made at all.
25:17LAUGHTER
25:17But it was still a sandbridge on top of the house.
25:19So, if I go to the fourth bridge now...
25:22..and I spread jam across it...
25:28Last up, it's Morgana.
25:43Oh, there's nothing to use.
25:47What happens now?
25:50I mean, I've got a sculpture degree, this is embarrassing.
25:53I'm going to do a couple of boulders.
25:57Oh, that's cracking already.
26:02This is a disaster.
26:05Crow.
26:07Troy.
26:08Do you know anything about Troy?
26:10Helen?
26:11What happened to Helen?
26:12I don't fucking know.
26:14Do you know how they rescued her?
26:15No.
26:16How did they rescue her?
26:17Well, they didn't have a Trojan crow.
26:21A horse?
26:23Ah!
26:29How long have I got?
26:31Five minutes!
26:34It's a slight disaster.
26:41Move on which is sort of just...
26:44That's very sandy.
26:45Strengthen the foundations with some rainbows.
26:49And I think he's going to be quite welcoming.
26:52You've got 40 seconds.
26:54Yeah.
26:55Yeah, I'd live here.
26:56Yeah.
26:56Right?
26:59Oh, the highest!
27:00No, no, no, no!
27:01You've got two seconds.
27:02You have to let go of your bridge.
27:03I don't.
27:04Well, you do.
27:09I'm going to propose this to the council and see if I can get some funding.
27:14LAUGHTER
27:19They've gone ahead a bit, so that's enough.
27:22Do you think you would have got the whole Helen of Troy thing without Alex's help?
27:26Yeah, yeah, 100%.
27:27Do you?
27:27Yeah, I've looked it up since and, yes, and there is someone got in a tummy and then they got
27:31through.
27:32Yeah, they got in their tummy.
27:35LAUGHTER
27:37Interesting.
27:37Is it a sand bridge, though, with all of those things to help?
27:41Should we have a look at all five of the bridges?
27:42Let's have a look at them.
27:43Well, I can tell you that Victoria's is actually the shortest at nine, then Guz's nine and a half inches,
27:47Desiree ten inches, Alan's is a magnificent 11 inches, Morgana's 21 inches.
27:53Oh, wow.
27:54Well, let's start with the obvious, OK? Alan Davies is taking five sweet points away.
27:59Yes. OK?
28:00Well done, Alan. Thank you.
28:02Well done, Alan.
28:02Full agreement.
28:05You're putting Morgana in second place.
28:07Yeah.
28:07In second from the top of four.
28:09Yes.
28:09Because it's the tallest one, but you're saying it's not as sandy as Alan's.
28:11Now, one of those isn't a bridge.
28:14Right.
28:15And that's Guz, right?
28:17You pushed an egg through that mess.
28:19Yeah, I did.
28:22I'm going to put Guz at the bottom, I'm afraid, with one point.
28:25OK.
28:26Right, so all I've got to decide is between Victoria and Desiree, correct?
28:30Yes, Desiree's is one inch higher.
28:31They are actually incredibly similar, aren't they?
28:34Yeah.
28:34And it would be difficult to separate them if Desiree hadn't put that sweet, sweet extra inch on it.
28:40So she has to take an extra point, I'm afraid.
28:42OK.
28:42Who gets the two bonus points for extravagance?
28:45Yeah, I'll give Alan one and Morgana one.
28:47I've split the extravagance points.
28:48There we go.
28:49Well, Alan gets six points.
28:51APPLAUSE
28:53One more, please.
28:55Yes, indeed.
28:56And it's time to boot up, kick back and watch the action unfold.
29:12Hi, buddy.
29:14That was really cool.
29:15Did you like that?
29:17I...
29:18Oh.
29:19That's a fine pair of wellies.
29:25What?
29:27Film the most thrilling 30-second sequence, wearing the welly cam.
29:33Oh, is that a camera?
29:39You have 30 minutes.
29:41Your time starts now.
29:44You know me.
29:45I like to get things part of being.
29:48Inside, outside, finished.
29:49Cut them.
29:50That's how I like to do my tasks, yeah?
29:52Mm-hm.
29:54I should just get the boots on straight away, just in case anything thrilling happens while
30:00I'm looking for props.
30:03I mean, if I go out the front door and fall over, that might be the best 30 seconds.
30:10Lovely.
30:11It's an age thing that I can very much relate to, that Alan thinks that the most exciting
30:15part of his film is possibly him falling over.
30:20I can't wait to see them.
30:22Can we just get stuck in?
30:23We can crack on.
30:23Yep.
30:24It's the most thrilling 30-second action sequence.
30:26And up first, here she is again.
30:28It's Morgana Wellington.
30:33What was that noise?
30:37THEY WHISPER
30:51THEYrica
31:18Oh, my God.
31:20Oh, é isso.
31:34É isso, é isso, é isso.
31:38Seen a pretty nice start.
31:41I mean, when the third ghost came along, I thought, you know,
31:45I think I'm starting to see a pattern here.
31:47Around every corner, there'll be a ghost and Morgana will scream.
31:52Then you pulled it out of the bag with the Headless Alex.
31:55Twist.
31:56Lovely twist.
31:57Thank you.
31:58Do you want to know a trade secret?
32:00Go on.
32:00I played all the ghosts.
32:02Yeah, I knew that.
32:02Like Eddie Murphy and Norbit.
32:04And do you know how I knew that?
32:07Because on nearly every occasion, I saw your horrible plastic slip-ons.
32:12LAUGHTER
32:16Next.
32:17Welly-welly-welly, who do we have next?
32:19Victoria.
32:21I'm assuming you're going to put some dramatic music on this.
32:24So, this is the title sequence.
32:31A crocodile swimming through a lake.
32:33James Bond is disguised in it.
32:35He leaps out.
32:36He scales a building.
32:37A beautiful woman is lying on a bed.
32:39We know what ensues.
32:40But soon after, she's dead.
32:42James Bond isn't responsible.
32:44Yeah, he doesn't really seem to care.
32:46He's so icy.
32:46His personality, there he is, he's drinking a martini.
32:48And across the room, the villain of the piece, with a cat.
32:52There's the villain.
32:53James Bond shouts, stop.
32:54The guy runs away, taking the cat.
32:57But Bond shoots him dead, pulls off the cat's head,
33:01and inside, nuclear weapons and diamonds.
33:04He's for the plan.
33:05There's Em, applauding.
33:06Bond is finished with this work, and he's with a redhead on a yacht.
33:10He's smoking.
33:11We know what's occurred.
33:12But Bond says...
33:14I always said the pushy was dangerous.
33:17LAUGHTER
33:19APPLAUSE
33:19Right.
33:21APPLAUSE
33:22Great.
33:23Anyway, it throws up that age-old quandary.
33:25Was it creative, or was it lazy?
33:29LAUGHTER
33:32So lazy?
33:34I...
33:35The creative process is in here.
33:38Yeah.
33:39Not stomp, stomp, stomp through the garden.
33:41Hmm.
33:42It's the first time your authority's not worked on me.
33:45LAUGHTER
33:48I enjoy the idea, in a Bond film,
33:51that the villain might store nuclear weapons inside a cat.
33:53What's the sort of thing they do?
33:55I've...
33:56LAUGHTER
33:56It's not the sort of thing they do.
33:59And I think if they did do that, honestly, I think it would be the end of the franchise.
34:04LAUGHTER
34:06Who's next?
34:07Next, it's the acclaimed actor and filmmaker Guz Khan.
34:11Lovely.
34:13Who are...?
34:16Who are...?
34:18Who are...?
34:20Who are...?
34:22Who are...?
34:23Who are...?
34:23Now, who are you, blood?
34:25LAUGHTER
34:25Who are you, blood?
34:29Who are...?
34:30Who are...?
34:34Who are...?
34:37Whoa!
34:43LAUGHTER
34:45.
34:45.
34:46.
34:46.
34:46.
34:47.
34:52.
34:56.
34:57.
34:57.
34:58.
35:04Right.
35:07OK, now I'm going to say something positive,
35:09which is I thought your vengeful and dramatic drinking of a glass of milk at the end
35:13Yeah.
35:13Really, really elevated the whole piece.
35:16Yeah.
35:16But the substance of the film is two farmers saying,
35:19oh, our blood to each other, and then one of them throws a welly into the other one's boss.
35:25I think he started a new genre.
35:27It's like a Yeovil Western or something.
35:29Oh, listen, the...
35:30Yeovil Western, that's exactly what he was going for.
35:32That's what you're aiming for, you know?
35:35You've been...
35:35We wanted, as a filmic piece, to throw you into the midst of this beef
35:39that we very rarely see farmers have.
35:42Yeah.
35:42Do you understand what I'm saying?
35:43His farmer ended up with the cow.
35:44He stole my cow, and so beef is actually double meaning.
35:48Yeah.
35:48I saw him in...
35:49Oh.
35:50Was beef a deliberate double meaning?
35:52Yes, it absolutely was.
35:57There were only two films left to see, and one of them belongs to Alan Davies.
36:01And this one belongs to Alan Davies.
36:07So nice of Alex to let us have a little boat trip, Victoria.
36:12Well, down there I can see...
36:13Oh, giant lizards.
36:15Oh, that's amazing.
36:17Hang on a sec.
36:17What?
36:18How terrifying.
36:19Enormous ducks.
36:21Cheep!
36:22Cheep!
36:23Cheep!
36:23Cheep!
36:25Cheep!
36:25Oh!
36:25Oh, my goodness!
36:27That's the biggest...
36:28Oh!
36:29No!
36:29Oh, no!
36:30Oh, Victoria!
36:31Can you speak?
36:33No, I'm underwater.
36:35Oh!
36:37Oh, what a terrifying creature.
36:39Oh, my goodness.
36:40What are you doing in my bath?
36:41Oh, you seem quite friendly.
36:43I am, actually.
36:45I'll help you.
36:46I'll get your boat, and I'll get rid of the horrible man-eating duck.
36:49Go away!
36:51Victoria!
36:52You've come adrift.
36:53You're face down.
36:55You're...
36:55Oh, yeah, you look really dead.
36:58I guess this is...
36:59This is goodbye.
37:01We couldn't be rescued.
37:13Great film-making.
37:14It is great film-making.
37:16You know, you could argue that film's quite profound in many ways, and there was certainly
37:21a very involved narrative in which I think Victoria perished.
37:27It was Victoria.
37:28Was that meant to be me?
37:29No.
37:30Yeah, that's you, yeah.
37:32This is a film about me drowning.
37:34Yeah.
37:34It was meant to drown, but you came off the stick.
37:38I was totally involved until we saw that wide shot of a man standing in a bun.
37:46And for me, the magic was gone.
37:48That made it for me, because, like, I just saw a fully clothed man in a tub, and I was
37:53like, this person's a great dad.
37:54Yeah.
37:55Yeah.
37:55But he's not doing it for kids.
37:57He's doing it for his own self-aggrandizing.
38:02Who's next?
38:03There's only one more to see, and that one is Desiree Birch's attempt.
38:07Okay.
38:07Cheeky little coffee.
38:09I wonder where they keep the good stuff.
38:13Let's see.
38:15Whoa.
38:16Okay.
38:17Probably not there.
38:19Seems weird.
38:20And...
38:21Ah!
38:21Oh, my God.
38:22Okay.
38:22That's actually...
38:24Maybe it's a...
38:25Whoa.
38:26What?
38:27Okay.
38:28That's somewhat reassuring, actually, but...
38:31Ah!
38:32Okay.
38:33Alex!
38:34I think the house has turned on us.
38:37Alex!
38:40Whoa.
38:41Alex, are you all right?
38:43Uh, get out!
38:44What?
38:44This isn't a task.
38:45The house is trying to kill us.
38:50Ah!
38:50Ah!
38:51Ah!
38:51Ah!
38:51This is a health and safety nightmare!
38:53Ah!
38:54Ah!
38:55Ah!
38:56Ah!
38:57Linda!
38:59Linda!
38:59Oh, my God!
39:00How could they?
39:02Huh!
39:02Maybe I...
39:04It's a dark army!
39:06Ah!
39:07Ah!
39:10Ah!
39:11Ah!
39:13Ah!
39:14Ah!
39:14Ah!
39:14Ah!
39:15I'll give you all the bread in my cupboard!
39:22Yeah!
39:23Yeah!
39:23That was sick.
39:24That was sick.
39:28That was sick.
39:29I really enjoyed your film.
39:31And...
39:31And...
39:32Amazingly, the final duck attack was fairly chilling.
39:37So...
39:38I mean, that house is so full of, like, years and history and all these little knick-knacks,
39:43and I thought, you know, some of these have a history, they have a life of their own.
39:47And in this one, the house really decided, like, we want this bitch out.
39:51So, it turned on me.
39:53Wow.
39:54Watching you seriously describe the narrative of that film really does show you what a load of old nonsense art
39:59is.
40:00LAUGHTER
40:03I enjoyed every single one of your films, and it's a tough one to score,
40:07because I don't think any of those films only deserve one point.
40:10OK.
40:11I think he's been unfairly treated in many ways, because I think that wide shot ruined it for him.
40:16I'm going to give Alan Davis two points.
40:19I'm going to give Guz and Victoria three points each.
40:23Who are...?
40:23I don't know why, but that duck attack really creeped me out.
40:27So, I'm going to give Desiree five points and Morgana four points, and that's an end to it.
40:31There we go. Go for it, Guz. Five points!
40:35Let's have a look at the scores.
40:37OK, well, Guz is in last place with ten.
40:39At the other end of the leaderboard, Desiree has 17 points.
40:41Ah, there it is.
40:44Right, for a change, please, can just Alan and Guz head up to the stage for the final task of
40:50the show?
40:54Good.
40:54Who can read the task out?
40:56I think Alan Davies should read the task out.
40:59Sorry.
40:59Which one's Alan?
41:05OK.
41:06Correctly guess your teammate's object.
41:10Your teammate will represent their object through the medium of shadows on the screen.
41:16Fastest correct guess wins two actual points per round.
41:22Yes, so this is a team task.
41:24Uh-huh.
41:24It is Alan and Victoria versus Guz, Morgana and Desiree.
41:28They're both doing different things, should make that clear.
41:31There will be three goes.
41:32OK, when I blow the whistle, you may read your card and start silhouetting.
41:38The interesting fact, they're actually facing us, but it looks like they're facing the other one.
41:42Oh, they?
41:43Yeah.
41:45The dove of peace vomits forth a message.
41:52On this occasion, it's one word on each card.
41:55It's just one word.
41:56Guz, what are you actually doing?
41:58Morgana, any guesses?
42:02Something, it's teeth.
42:03It's something with teeth.
42:05Yes.
42:07I think Guz has cut out a silhouette of himself and left the building.
42:16Well...
42:16Get away.
42:17Get away.
42:19It is a tank.
42:19First guess gets it correct.
42:21Oh, my God.
42:22So Guz has nailed it.
42:23Oh, Alan.
42:24I'm so sorry.
42:25We're going to wait to see if Victoria can guess, Alan.
42:27Something with a lot of sharp teeth.
42:29Correct.
42:30And fork is emerging from it.
42:31Not a fork.
42:32A tonsillectomy.
42:34No.
42:34Dragon.
42:35It is a dragon.
42:37It is a dragon.
42:38It is a dragon.
42:38So Guz has won his team two points.
42:40But next, it's Morgana and Victoria to go behind the screen.
42:43One more.
42:46When I play the whistle, you can read your card and start silhouetting.
42:53We're at the card reading stage.
42:54Ah, snake.
42:55Walk like an Egyptian.
42:57There's a snake down in hell.
42:58So it's...
42:59Stephen, serpent.
43:00Oh, this is like a fatal...
43:01Limbo dancer.
43:02A bird is eating a snake.
43:03Uh, no.
43:04A river.
43:05A tiny...
43:06A worm.
43:07Bird eats a worm.
43:08The early bird gets the worm.
43:09It is a worm.
43:11OK.
43:11Giles didn't say a word, but Desiree is one of them two points.
43:15In bed.
43:16You're in bed.
43:17We're now just waiting to see if Alan...
43:18A blanket.
43:18Yes.
43:19It was a blanket.
43:20There.
43:21Only just behind.
43:22Nice.
43:26So there's one more round to go, Greg.
43:29Yes.
43:29Alan's back and this time he's up against Desiree Birch.
43:31Off you go.
43:34Alan and Victoria are yet to get a point here, so good luck.
43:36Let's shadow.
43:40Oh, wow.
43:44A jeweller.
43:46A detective.
43:48Eye glass.
43:49Magnifying glass.
43:50Sherlock Holmes.
43:52Clues.
43:53Clues.
43:53I've got a waiting aid, isn't it?
43:54The sun.
43:55A ball.
43:56Microscope.
43:56It's a circle.
43:58It is a microscope.
44:01Wow.
44:02Yay!
44:03Let's see what Desiree comes up with.
44:04I was going to suggest dragon again.
44:06Wrecking ball.
44:07Wrecking ball!
44:08Wrecking ball!
44:08Wrecking ball!
44:10Please come down and we'll see you at the final score.
44:15Wrecking ball!
44:17Lovely shadow work.
44:18A team of two gained two points.
44:20A team of three gained four points each.
44:23Lovely.
44:24Mm.
44:24So I've got some final scores.
44:26Please.
44:27Mm.
44:27Well, I can first of all tell you that Victoria has come last
44:30for the third show in a row.
44:32Wow.
44:33And this episode's winner is now the series leader.
44:36Wow.
44:36And that, with 21 points, is Desiree Birch.
44:39Desiree Birch.
44:39Yes!
44:41Desiree Birch won.
44:42Please go and attend to your old-fashioned parade.
44:48So what have we learned today?
44:49We've learned that life is unfair, human beings are fallible,
44:53and art can be cruelly subjective.
44:56We've also learned...
44:58Desiree Birch eats sand!
45:00LAUGHTER
45:01Thank you for watching.
45:03Take good care of each other.
45:04But first, let's applaud the glory of tonight's winner once more,
45:08Desiree Birch!
45:09APPLAUSE
45:10APPLAUSE
45:14APPLAUSE
45:25MUSIC
45:26MUSIC
45:33Aplausos.
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