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00:12Transcrição e Legendas Pedro Negri
00:32Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster. I'm Greg Davies and I'm the wizard of Task Towers. With a wave of my wand,
00:39five intelligent, successful people have parked their dignity and bravely exposed themselves to judgment. One of them even trumped a
00:47bit of his bottom out trying to please me, for goodness sake. How far will our magical five be prepared
00:53to go today? Let's meet them and find out. They are Charlotte Ritchie, Jamali Maddox.
01:00Lee Mack, Mike Wozniak and Sarah Pendle. And next to me, a man who once drunkenly confessed that he hasn't
01:09bought car tax or insurance since the 90s because he thinks it's an example of big government.
01:15It's little Alex Horne!
01:18APPLAUSE
01:21Hi, Greg. Hello. I've had a birthday. Oh, God.
01:25My mother and father gave me £10 each. All right, stop.
01:31I've budgeted on this occasion for Alex wittering away to total silence and I've decided that we're going to start
01:37the show slightly differently. Alex is going to do some extreme improvisation for you.
01:42Is he? Yeah. So, Mike, if you'd like to give me a song style. Funk.
01:47Charlotte, perhaps she'd like to give me a dance style. Disco. Disco and funk. It's a bit kind on him.
01:54Oh, sorry. I meant disco break. Disco break.
01:57What is disco break? You know. You know. You know. It's in your bones.
02:01And finally, Sarah, I need an event from history. The Division of North and South Korea.
02:09Sorry, ladies and gentlemen. For your entertainment, Alex will represent the Division of North and South Korea in, um...
02:18..in a disco break dance style, singing a funk song.
02:22In 1953, there was a terrible situation.
02:26Ow! Er...
02:28..and everyone got very sad because they divided the nation.
02:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:39That was rubbish and it was much better than what you had to say.
02:44On with the prize task.
02:46Yes, on we pop.
02:47And this week, the category is the most satisfying wobbly thing.
02:52Greg will judge whose thing is the most satisfyingly wobbly one.
02:55..and give that person five points.
02:57At the end of the episode, one lucky person will take home all five wobbly things
03:00and be totally satisfied.
03:02I'll tell you now, anyone who's brought a jelly, no points.
03:05OK, Jamali, what's your satisfying wobbly thing?
03:09Do you know what? This is... I had a whole speech lined up
03:12cos I feel like whenever I put in minimal effort, you go,
03:15You know what, Jamali, you actually tried, here's four points.
03:18Right?
03:19So when you just said that, I was like,
03:21Oh, right, so it's gone then.
03:23I genuinely didn't know you'd brought a jelly.
03:25No, but it's not just jelly, innit?
03:26Cos I knew you would just go...
03:28Yeah.
03:29So what I did is, I still brought in jelly,
03:31but inside the jelly is a complete Rubik's Cube.
03:34Here we go.
03:35There you go.
03:36It's pretty satisfying.
03:37How is it satisfying?
03:38Because Rubik's Cubes are hard
03:40and to see a complete Rubik's Cube kind of gives me a bit of joy.
03:44It's aesthetically pleasing.
03:46I'll take three points.
03:47Yeah? Feels like a three, doesn't it?
03:48But there might be people who've done worse.
03:51If anyone's just brought jelly in, I'm going to attack them.
03:55Who's next?
03:56Lee, you like a wobble.
03:57What have you brought in?
03:58My daughter, she's eight and she loves you guys, you know that.
04:02And every night she puts her head on my belly.
04:04She nuzzles up and she says,
04:06Can I just say, Daddy, your belly's so wobbly and lovely.
04:09And I said, funny enough, I have to take a wobbly thing in to Taskmaster.
04:14And she said, Take your belly in.
04:16I said, I can't take my belly into Taskmaster.
04:20She said, Why don't you make it out of jelly?
04:23And...
04:25And so I can't have, and there it is.
04:27It's a jelly belly.
04:29Why does your jelly of your belly have abs?
04:32Yeah, it is a fair point that...
04:34There's absolutely no way that that's your belly.
04:35I'm not going to lie.
04:36I didn't make a cast because I didn't have time.
04:38I shaped it with my hands.
04:40And in a way, I do see myself not too dissimilar to that.
04:43So, so far, after me slacking anyone who brought in jelly,
04:46we've had two jellies.
04:47Next.
04:48Charlotte.
04:49Hmm.
04:52So, it's a bit personal this,
04:55but obviously this show has taken its toll on my ego,
04:59my self-esteem.
05:00Yeah, I can imagine.
05:01Yeah, and...
05:02Sorry, Charlotte, you've brought a jelly in, haven't you?
05:04Yeah, inside is a letter from my therapist
05:06commenting on my wobbly sense of self-esteem.
05:08Right.
05:09Oh!
05:09It's a letter from a therapist in a jelly.
05:11Yeah.
05:12I have to say, that is more like my belly than my belly.
05:16It is, isn't it?
05:17Oh, God.
05:18It's so heartbreaking.
05:20100% jelly so far, Greg?
05:22100% jelly across the board.
05:24Did you know they found jelly on the moon?
05:26Moon jelly.
05:27They didn't find moon jelly, Alex.
05:29They did.
05:30It's exactly the same as earth jelly, but it's on the moon.
05:31Probably the astronauts left it up there.
05:34So they didn't find jelly on the moon?
05:36Later astronauts did.
05:37Sorry, are you saying that someone found Neil Armstrong's jelly on the moon?
05:40That's what's written here.
05:41It's written there on a document that you typed?
05:44Very much so.
05:45Very much so.
05:47Who's, er...
05:48Who's brought the next jelly in?
05:49Mike?
05:49I've not gone for jelly.
05:51Oh!
05:51Oh!
05:52Congratulations.
05:53Five points.
05:53I've gone for an old school classic.
05:55I've gone for a milk tuff.
05:57Tuff?
05:57A milk tuff.
05:58Here is the milk tuff.
05:59Which is surely the most satisfying wobbly thing of all.
06:02You get a wobble.
06:03It's satisfying already.
06:04If you're six years old, it's the best chat fuel in the business.
06:07It's chat fuel.
06:08Yeah, big time chat fuel time.
06:10It's...
06:11Chat fuel.
06:11Chat.
06:12Chat.
06:13What are you talking about in the playground?
06:15Chat.
06:15Good old Martha's got a wobbly tuff.
06:17Let's go.
06:17Let's talk about it.
06:18Let's have a wobble.
06:18Let's talk about how we're going to get it out.
06:19I hate that the truff.
06:21LAUGHTER
06:22I hated having loose teeth as a child.
06:25I found it a disturbing sensation.
06:27But was it satisfying when they came out?
06:29I don't know.
06:30You don't know?
06:30I don't know if I find it satisfying.
06:31Oh.
06:32Right.
06:33Sarah, what wobbly object have you brought?
06:35Er, I brought in a sausage of chicken meat.
06:39A what?
06:41A sausage of chicken meat.
06:42A sausage of chicken meat.
06:43A sausage of chicken meat.
06:44It really is a sausage of chicken meat.
06:46Do you want to see it?
06:47Yeah.
06:47Here is a sausage of chicken meat.
06:49Did you buy it with a view to eat having a sausage of chicken meat in your home?
06:53I bought it to wobble it.
06:54And I was sitting in my lounge room and I thought, is it satisfyingly wobbly?
06:57And then I started really wanging it in the lounge room.
07:00I'm like, this is really...
07:01Like, to the point where I was surprised by how wobbly it was.
07:04And I wanged it so hard the end came off, I had to gaffer it back on.
07:08LAUGHTER
07:09What's your technique to get the wobble?
07:10Er, it's a lot of elbow work.
07:12OK.
07:13I mean, I don't want to boast, but I've got pretty good upper body strength at the moment.
07:16Cool.
07:18Are you going to mark the wobblers?
07:19Here's your decision.
07:20It's the first time I've ever done it.
07:21I'm giving everybody here three points.
07:24Well, everyone.
07:25Yeah.
07:25That's how I feel.
07:26They're all as wobbly and satisfying.
07:28So they're either all good or they're all shit.
07:30It doesn't matter.
07:31That was a waste of everyone's time.
07:34OK, so everyone gets three points.
07:35Well done, everyone.
07:37APPLAUSE
07:38OK, on with the show.
07:40What's the first task proper?
07:43Inflation, some wrapping, a little bit of munch-munch,
07:45and quite a lot of TikTok.
08:00Come in.
08:01Hello, Alex.
08:02Oh, hello, Mike.
08:03Feeling all right?
08:04Yeah.
08:04How are you?
08:06Excited.
08:06You're excited?
08:07Yeah.
08:09Here we go.
08:13Say the word metronome between every tick of this metronome.
08:17You may not touch or stop the metronome.
08:19Also, you must blow off a time balloon so it's bigger than your head.
08:23Nearly gift-wrap the balloon.
08:25And eat three whole poppadoms.
08:27You have five minutes.
08:31The person who accomplishes the most things within the fewest missed metronomes wins.
08:37Your time starts when the metronome starts.
08:39OK.
08:40Also, you must blow up an entire balloon so it's bigger than your head.
08:44Neatly gift-wrap.
08:45That's a bit unfair, actually, cos I have got a massive head.
08:47It is big.
08:48So, you know, I bet someone like Sarah Kendall,
08:50who's known in the industry as Pinhead,
08:53you know, she'll just do that.
08:56Blow up the balloon, bigger than the head, wrap it, three poppadoms.
09:02I'm in.
09:04Metronome.
09:06Metronome.
09:07Metronome.
09:08Metronome.
09:10Metronome.
09:10Metronome.
09:12Metronome.
09:12Metronome.
09:15Metronome.
09:16Metronome.
09:18Metronome.
09:19Metronome.
09:20Metronome.
09:22It instantly sounds like a weird cult.
09:25Have you got a Pinhead?
09:25Sim.
09:26Once you take the make-up and the hair off, it's about the size of your pencil.
09:30Is it?
09:32She does have quite a lot of hair, though.
09:34Are we including hair in heads?
09:35Oh, no, you can't include hair.
09:36That's the rapid paper.
09:37Hair is different to head.
09:38It grows on the head.
09:39That's why there's two different words.
09:42No, I thought so.
09:43Yeah, me too.
09:44Let's crack on.
09:45So, as normal rules, accomplish the most tasks with the fewest missed metronomes.
09:50We're going to start with a guy who used to go by the name of Niak,
09:53now we call him Mike.
09:54Yes, Mike was Niak.
09:56Here is his attempt.
09:58Here is his attempt.
10:00Wow.
10:04Metronome.
10:06Metronome.
10:07Metronome.
10:08Metronome.
10:10Metronome.
10:11Metronome.
10:13Metronome.
10:14Metronome.
10:15Metronome.
10:16Metronome.
10:17Metronome.
10:18Metronome.
10:19Metronome.
10:20Metronome.
10:20Metronome.
10:20How are you rapping?
10:21Metronome.
10:22Metronome.
10:22Entrimento so-so, metrimento, metrimento
10:27metrimento, metrimento
10:28metrimento, metrimento
10:32metrimento, metrimento
10:34metrimento
10:34metritàoa
10:35still một m pray ở left
10:35metrimento
10:38metrilled
10:40metrenario
10:40metrLo
10:41metr substitute
10:43metr跟
10:47metrсл秋
10:48metrFil Nav
10:48mít vacilo
10:49sít nonetheless
10:50Oh, bom!
11:04Obrigado, irmão.
11:09Obrigado.
11:13Bem, eu não acho que há algo que fazes você.
11:18Não acho que eles são fazes por papadoms, são eles, normalmente?
11:21Mas pessoas, em sua resposta, em sua resposta,
11:25você vê alguma coisa que fazes você achar que você acha que isso é uma coisa que fazes você fazer?
11:31Eu só gosto de ser contado o que fazer.
11:34É isso que é?
11:35É mesmo se é um rap-a-ballo e-missar de papadoms.
11:38Eu só sei que, para o próximo cinco minutos,
11:41é isso aí, Streets.
11:44Você é muito estranho, Matt.
11:46Eu sou um pedido.
11:48Ele foi muito bem eficiente, ele só me missed um metronome.
11:51Wow.
11:52Wow.
11:53Ok, agora é hora de ouvir Sarah e Leigh say metronome a lot.
11:58But first, I'd like to say thanks to the person subtitling this programme.
12:01Thank you, subtitle person.
12:02Here we go.
12:04Five minutes.
12:06Metronome.
12:07Metronome.
12:08Metronome.
12:09Metronome.
12:09Metronome.
12:11Metronome.
12:13Metronome.
12:14Metronome.
12:15Metronome.
12:17Metronome.
12:18Metronome.
12:19Metronome.
12:20Metronome.
12:21Metronome.
12:21Metronome.
12:22Metronome.
12:23Metronome?
12:24OUH!
12:25Metronome.
12:26Metronome. Can I just say it in my head?
12:27Not really.
12:28Metronome.
12:29Metronome?
12:30URGH!
12:31Metronome...
12:32Metronome...
12:33Metronome...
12:35Metronome...
12:35Metronome...
12:36Oh, hello!
12:37Metronome!
12:38Desi notíste time, metronome!
12:392p15 left!
12:40Metronome, metronome, metronome!
12:44Metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome...
12:47I knew I shouldn't cut my fingernails this morning.
12:49Metronome, metronome...
12:51Metronome.
12:52Eu não tenho metronome. Metronome.
12:55Eu não tenho a metronome.
12:56A metronome.
13:00Metronome.
13:01Metronome.
13:02Metronome.
13:03Metronome.
13:06Fácil da água.
13:07Metronome.
13:08Would you like some water?
13:09Metronome.
13:09Of course I'd like some water.
13:10What do you think, metronome?
13:12Metronome.
13:13Metronome.
13:14Metronome.
13:16Oh!
13:17F***!
13:20Do I get points if I just metronome?
13:22Metronome.
13:23Metronome.
13:24Do I get another balloon?
13:24Metronome.
13:25Do you want me to get you another balloon?
13:26Metronome.
13:27It's very hot.
13:28Metronome.
13:29Metronome.
13:33Metronome.
13:34Metronome.
13:35Metronome.
13:35OK?
13:35You got one minute left.
13:36OK?
13:39OK?
13:39Metronome.
13:41Metronome.
13:43Wait a minute, I just went through my nose.
13:45Metronome.
13:46Let me know. Let me know. Let me know. Let me know.
13:51That was not the best of me.
13:53Let me know. Let me know.
14:00Metronome. Metronome.
14:02Metronome.
14:03Metronome.
14:05Metronome.
14:06Metronome.
14:08That was really disappointing.
14:15I had really high hopes initially.
14:17You had a real multitask metronome going on.
14:20Yeah. Can I say that nothing...
14:22Like, if you were going to sort of give someone a visual representation
14:25of what I feel like parenting feels like,
14:28that's what parenting feels like.
14:30Right. You're doing a better job at home.
14:32No, not at all. Not at all.
14:35Even worse was Lee, who started strong
14:39and then fully malfunctioned halfway through.
14:42Into pieces.
14:43Just literally like watching a robot short circuit.
14:45And once the food and fluids were spilling out of your mouth...
14:48Yeah.
14:48..did I hear you shout, I've got a BAFTA?
14:51LAUGHTER
14:52Next up are Jamali and Charlotte.
14:57Metronome.
14:59Metronome.
15:00Mm-hmm.
15:01Metronome.
15:03Metronome.
15:04Metronome.
15:05Metronome.
15:07Metronome.
15:08Metronome.
15:09Metronome.
15:10Metronome.
15:11Metronome.
15:12Metronome.
15:12I'm about to say metronome.
15:13Metronome.
15:16Metronome.
15:17Metronome.
15:19Metronome.
15:21Metronome.
15:22Metronome.
15:23Metronome.
15:24Metronome.
15:25Metronome.
15:25Metronome.
15:25Is it bigger than my hair?
15:26Metronome.
15:26What do you think?
15:27Metronome.
15:28Metronome.
15:29Metronome.
15:32Metronome.
15:34Metronome.
15:35Metronome.
15:35Metronome.
15:39Metronome.
15:42Metronome.
15:43Metronome.
15:44Metronome. Not quite yet.
15:45Metronome.
15:46Metronome.
15:49Metronome.
15:52Metronome.
15:53Metronome.
15:54Metronome.
15:55Metronome.
15:56Metronome.
15:58Metronome.
15:58Metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome.
16:07Metronome, metronome, metronome.
16:11Metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome.
16:12Metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome, metronome.
16:26Oh, meu Deus, eu estou comendo.
16:28Não chupando nada, eu vou falar.
16:30Done.
16:31Eu estou comendo, mano.
16:32Você acompá-lo?
16:34All of them.
16:35E eu fiz mecanome...
16:37...enough.
16:38Enough.
16:39Ten segundos.
16:39Ten segundos.
16:40Tch.
16:41Tch.
16:45Tch.
16:46Tch.
16:48Tch.
16:49Tch.
16:51Tch.
16:52Tch.
16:53Tch.
16:56What have you done?
16:58I've done a bit of a lapso, don't you?
17:00LAUGHTER
17:04First things first, I'm not going to penalise either of them
17:07para dizer a palavra metromôme.
17:10Yeah.
17:10Both of them, weirdly.
17:11Nice to know I wasn't the only one.
17:13Metromôme?
17:14It was met your mum by the end.
17:15I've met your mum.
17:17Met your mum.
17:18I mean, that was absolute genius by Jamali,
17:21the recording the metromôme.
17:23Oh, thank you.
17:24Doesn't matter that Jamali popped his balloon.
17:26He said you had to inflate it bigger than your head.
17:27He did that.
17:28He did that?
17:28He didn't stay bigger than his head,
17:30but he did then wrap it up neatly,
17:31as did Lee, to be fair.
17:32Yeah, they were both fairly impressive.
17:34I suspect that Charlotte stopped saying metronôme
17:37half an hour before the end,
17:38when she decided to focus all of her energies
17:40into neatly feeding papadoms into her mouth,
17:43as if she were a papadom crunching machine.
17:45He missed quite a few at the end.
17:46Spinning them.
17:47Yeah.
17:48Can you tell me some statistics?
17:49Yeah, I think we have to, really.
17:50I mean, Sarah didn't complete any of the tasks in the end.
17:55But that's a good thing, right?
17:56It's not a great thing.
17:57Oh.
17:58It's nice to know that's how you run your home.
18:01That's every morning.
18:04Charlotte didn't eat all the papadoms
18:05and missed seven or eight metronomes at the end.
18:08No way.
18:11I felt like half an hour you were doing that.
18:14That's uncanny, that.
18:15These two, I don't know what you want to do points-wise.
18:17I'm going to give them one point each.
18:18And these two, Lee and Jamali,
18:20both missed three metronomes,
18:22twice because he was drinking and once,
18:23obviously, because he was doing a pun,
18:25so he missed one of that points.
18:26I'll take it.
18:27What about the time when he was reduced
18:29to salivating out of his mouth
18:30and shouting about his awards?
18:33He stuck to metronome still came out
18:35following the BAFTA claim.
18:36I can see you in a curry house
18:37shouting about your BAFTA.
18:40Oh, BAFTA!
18:43Oh, BAFTA!
18:44So I'd say it's joint second
18:45and four points each
18:46to Lee and Jamali,
18:47but the papadom balloon king
18:49was Mike Wozniak.
18:51Five points, one miss!
18:53Of course!
18:53Of course it was.
18:55Scoreboard, please.
18:56Well, there's two people on four,
18:57two people on seven,
18:58but the outright leader
18:58with eight points
18:59is Mike Wozniak.
19:00Oh!
19:03Task number two, please.
19:05Yes!
19:05Team time again
19:06and this one
19:07has some pretty dire consequences
19:09for British wildlife.
19:22Hello, Jamali.
19:24Hey, what's up?
19:25Hello, Alex.
19:26Hello, Mike.
19:29How are you?
19:30Terrific.
19:31Good night.
19:36Draw the best picture
19:37of a British animal.
19:38Each person must fill
19:39in one section at a time
19:41and may not look
19:43at any other section
19:44during that time.
19:45Every section must be used
19:47and you may not communicate
19:49with each other
19:50in any way during a task.
19:52Best picture of a British animal wins.
19:54You have three minutes per section.
19:57Your time starts now.
19:59How are you with British animals?
20:01Not great.
20:02I mean, first instinct is hedgehog,
20:04obviously.
20:06The great British hedgehog.
20:07but maybe he'll go lion.
20:09I mean, they're not common.
20:12But they're sort of emblematic, aren't they?
20:15Let's talk about what constitutes a British animal.
20:18It's nice that Mike evokes the days of the Raj
20:22by mentioning lions,
20:23but I suspect it meant more domestic creatures.
20:26Well, yeah, you had to second-guess
20:27the rest of your teammates.
20:28They couldn't speak to each other
20:29in the gap,
20:29so I thought people would go for
20:30a mountain hare
20:32like you get in Scotland
20:33or a classic,
20:34classic British
20:36badger creature.
20:37A mountain hare.
20:38Let's have a look.
20:39Here we go.
20:40It's a montage.
20:43Some hedgehog legs.
20:46It's quite beautiful, isn't it?
20:47Yeah.
20:48What is it?
20:49Pigeon.
20:50Actually, can you have a nice walk
20:52on a mossy surface?
20:55Yeah, I've totally messed up.
20:57Please go away
20:58and you can come back
20:59in three minutes.
21:00OK.
21:01Thank you.
21:07Hi, Alex.
21:08Hi, Charlotte.
21:09Hi.
21:10Draw the best picture.
21:11I'm a British animal.
21:13Your time starts now.
21:14It's going to have to be...
21:15That's going to be its feet.
21:16Oh, what could it be?
21:18It'd be a bird of sort.
21:18It'd be a bird.
21:19A Burford brown hen.
21:23What's your relationship
21:24with these hens?
21:25Hosh eggs.
21:26For they are the feathers
21:27of a grouse.
21:30Thank you.
21:31We'll see you in six minutes' time.
21:34Stay tuned.
21:35Yes, the time has started.
21:37Do you think he's carried on
21:38with hedgehog?
21:38I mean, there's a chance,
21:39isn't there?
21:40It's a gamble.
21:41What's a British animal?
21:42A fox.
21:47A rabbit is what I meant
21:48by that.
21:50Is that a kangaroo?
21:54See you in three minutes, Mike.
21:55Thank you.
21:55I've had a little time
21:56to think about this,
21:57about how ridiculous it is.
21:58I mean, how can we possibly know?
22:00Because we're still
22:01pissing in the dark,
22:02aren't we, here?
22:03Yeah, but even if you're
22:04pissing in the dark,
22:04you know roughly where to aim.
22:06You're two minutes left
22:07from this section.
22:07Oh, have you started?
22:08You didn't?
22:08That's not fair.
22:10I'm just going to carry
22:10and join what I was doing.
22:12Wings!
22:13Yeah, I fucked that up.
22:19This seems like a good eye level,
22:21so I'm hoping Lee
22:22hasn't eyeballed.
22:23Lovely green eyes.
22:26Oh, that's a bit worrying
22:27because I've got a little bit
22:28of something there.
22:29There's a hint of rabbit
22:30right there.
22:31Right, now,
22:32I'm going to have to assume
22:33that this would be the head.
22:35This is entirely ear.
22:37There you go.
22:39All right.
22:40All right.
22:41Okay.
22:41Goodbye.
22:42It's not good, is it?
22:43It might be.
22:48Well, it looks like
22:48it's going to fit together
22:49a treat.
22:51We're actually going to
22:52look at the team of three,
22:53first of all,
22:53what they did,
22:54and it combined
22:55to look like
22:55this classic
22:58robotish wildlife.
22:59It's quite noble.
23:00It's malting
23:01a couple of wings
23:01and its legs.
23:03I should say,
23:04Jamali did the fourth
23:05and fifth section.
23:07They're actually
23:08quite beautiful.
23:09They are, yeah.
23:09Jamali can actually
23:10draw.
23:11But unfortunately,
23:11they don't join up.
23:12He didn't give himself
23:12enough of a hint.
23:13That's because you
23:14covered it.
23:14I couldn't remember
23:15where I put it
23:15first time.
23:16That was partly
23:17my fault.
23:18I wouldn't worry
23:18about that, mate.
23:19Someone's put
23:19some kangaroo legs
23:20on it.
23:21It's been
23:21absolutely ruined.
23:23And actually,
23:23I've done a physical
23:24representation of it,
23:25Greg, in 3D form.
23:26If you have a look
23:26in your little drawer...
23:30Yeah.
23:30It's horrible.
23:31Can you see it?
23:33Beautiful.
23:33Beautiful, it's all right.
23:34Oh, I've never seen
23:35that in the wild.
23:36Do you want it as a pet?
23:36If you saw it in the wild,
23:38if you were just walking
23:38along and it stepped out...
23:40Oh, I'd kill it, yeah.
23:42Oh, yeah, yeah,
23:42but then I'd take it over
23:43and show my children afterwards.
23:44I would assume
23:45it's giving me quests.
23:47I'd ring it as soon as
23:48looking.
23:50They're already endangered.
23:52I think it does look
23:54quite British.
23:55It's sort of...
23:55Bottom half is like
23:56an upturned acorn,
23:57so that is quite British.
23:59I can't believe you made it.
24:00There it is.
24:01Are you talking to it, Greg?
24:02I am growing affectionate
24:04towards it.
24:05That's it.
24:06Come on.
24:07Oh, dear.
24:07Oh, wow.
24:09Oh, wow.
24:10That's it.
24:10That does it for you, do you?
24:11Now it's time to have a look
24:13at what Mike and Lee
24:14came up with together.
24:15It looks like this, Greg.
24:18Ooh.
24:20Depends where you're taking
24:21the eyes,
24:21because it's a bit lion-y.
24:22It's a four-eyed beast.
24:24Oh, no, no, no, no.
24:25That's a four-eyed beast.
24:26No, no, that's a hat.
24:29It's a novelty hat
24:30that it's wearing of a bird.
24:31It's a British animal
24:31that can go out
24:32and purchase a hat.
24:33Yeah, we did two heads.
24:35Can I just ask a question?
24:37Yes.
24:37Does it feed through its beak
24:38or through its stomach mouth?
24:41It feeds through its beak,
24:43but it feeds its young
24:44through its stomach mouth.
24:45The young will assemble
24:46in an orderly queue,
24:47and then what is emitted
24:48from that...
24:51They lap that up.
24:53So, just to be clear,
24:54it eats through its beak.
24:55Yeah.
24:55It semi-processes the food.
24:57Yeah.
24:57It's young gather round.
24:59Yeah, queue up.
24:59No, sorry, they're queue up.
25:01It's an orderly species.
25:02They feed.
25:03And they feed through their beak?
25:05Through their beak.
25:07They just have to open their beak
25:08and then the stomach
25:10squeeze it out
25:10and just sort of paste.
25:11And is that...
25:12It's a bit like a sausage
25:13of chicken meat.
25:14Some sort of consistency.
25:15Everyone knows this
25:16about the hedgehog-legged owl.
25:19Yeah.
25:20There is a 3D version
25:21in your drawer again.
25:22How exciting.
25:22I think you'll enjoy this one.
25:25Oh, God.
25:27So...
25:30Wow.
25:31The top head is quite serene
25:32as you can see.
25:34Yeah.
25:34Yeah.
25:35Well, Greg, you've got to judge
25:36these two great British creatures.
25:38I suppose I've got to think about
25:39which would benefit
25:40the British Isles the most.
25:42Yes, you do.
25:42Always.
25:43Yeah.
25:44Do you know what I'm going to do?
25:46Yeah.
25:47I'm going to give
25:48three points to one creature
25:50and two points to the other
25:51because I think they're both
25:52wondrous creatures
25:53and I'd be happy
25:54to be wandering across a moor
25:55and to bump into either.
25:57For me,
25:58the hedgehog-legged owl
25:59takes it.
26:00Ooh!
26:00And I'll tell you why.
26:01Yes, please.
26:02It's just a small fact
26:02that Mike threw in.
26:03In Britain, we queue.
26:05Wow.
26:06So, the fact that this creature
26:07has had the sense
26:08to teach basic manners
26:10to its young
26:12means it takes
26:13an extra point.
26:14So, it's two points.
26:15Three points for this creature,
26:16two points for that.
26:17I have made my judgement.
26:18Well, that's three points
26:20to Mike and Lee.
26:21Yes.
26:22Happy with that.
26:24Can we have a new repute?
26:26Always.
26:27Especially when you fly
26:28Taskmaster Airways.
26:30Oh.
26:43Hello, Mike.
26:45Charlotte.
26:47Hiya.
26:48You look very happy.
26:49Yeah, I'm in a plane.
26:53Hello, Sarah.
26:55Alex.
26:56Welcome on board.
26:58Thank you.
27:04Hello.
27:11That's it.
27:11I'm in a plane.
27:29I'm in a plane.
27:45I'm in a plane.
27:50I'm in a plane.
27:51Lorraine Kelly.
27:52This is the greatest
27:53safety announcement
27:55you'll ever hear.
27:56So, I've got to do it
27:57like an accent.
27:58or a different language.
28:00Do you speak any other languages?
28:02Petite parlez-vous en francais.
28:03Oh.
28:04Yeah.
28:05Stay in your seats
28:06and stay facing forward.
28:07Forward.
28:08Cheryl Cole.
28:10South Shields.
28:11Forward.
28:13Forward.
28:13I'm so sorry.
28:15I'm so sorry.
28:17Wonderful.
28:19Wonderful.
28:19Wonderful.
28:20Charlotte's children's TV show
28:22really, really taken form.
28:23We're in a plane, boys and girls.
28:25Oh, are we in a sweatshirt?
28:27I'm in a plane.
28:28Eek.
28:29Oh, God.
28:30The end.
28:32Jamali, that is one sweet French accent.
28:34Yeah.
28:35Yeah, and I can't say a lot.
28:37Où est le cheval?
28:38Merci.
28:40Merci beaucoup.
28:42Il est dans le jardin.
28:45Shall we?
28:45OK, so we're going to see five
28:47hopefully unforgettable
28:49aircraft safety announcements
28:50and first of all,
28:51we're going to see a hint of Jamali
28:52and a snifter of Lee.
28:54Good luck.
28:58Bonjour.
29:00Any aircrafty?
29:02Well, good afternoon,
29:03ladies and gentlemen.
29:04This is Captain Peregrine Twat Custard
29:06up aboard the flight.
29:07And if you look at your window
29:09to the right,
29:09you'll just see
29:11in the distance there,
29:12Mount Everest,
29:13which a little bit of a concern
29:15given that we're going
29:16from Heathrow to New York.
29:20Vente.
29:21It's a bomb crash.
29:24Life jacket.
29:26Bonito.
29:28Ça va.
29:29In the unlikely event
29:30of the plane landing on water,
29:32and I, of course,
29:33when I say landing,
29:34I do, of course, mean crashing,
29:36the underneath your seat,
29:38you'll find
29:38a really, really long snorkel,
29:41and you're going to need that.
29:54In the unlikely event
29:56of a sudden evacuation,
29:57please make sure
29:58you do use the toilets.
30:00Obviously, just a little bit
30:02of a light-hearted joke
30:03out there
30:03to make you feel calm,
30:05but seriously,
30:06if you do need a shit,
30:07please use the toilets.
30:09The fire exits
30:10are situated
30:10above your heads
30:12and will drop down
30:13from the ceiling.
30:14Or is that
30:14the oxygen masks?
30:15I can't remember,
30:16but please...
30:17please remember
30:17the chances
30:18of survival
30:19are slim.
30:20Don't forget,
30:21peanuts are available.
30:23Have a nice flight.
30:26Bonjour.
30:28Au revoir.
30:30Comment tu te pènes?
30:32Merci.
30:35That's pretty...
30:37pretty good.
30:39Yeah, I think
30:40I would be very happy
30:41to take off now.
30:43Thank you, Jamali.
30:44All right, man.
30:51When you said
30:52before we saw the film
30:53that you didn't speak
30:54that much French,
30:55because I'd seen
30:56your first pronunciation
30:58and was impressed by it,
30:59I thought,
31:00Jamal is just being modest.
31:03You weren't being modest.
31:04No, but I was surprised
31:04that actually you got some words.
31:06I don't think
31:06we can count aircrafty.
31:08Aircrafties?
31:09That's pretty French, hombre.
31:10You said,
31:10welcome aboard
31:14the aircrafty.
31:15Yeah.
31:16And then we said,
31:18what's your name?
31:19How old are you?
31:20Clear and concise.
31:21I'm just trying to
31:21spread your audience
31:22more to France
31:23and get a European audience.
31:25Thank you.
31:26Who's this guy?
31:27Who's this character?
31:28I hated him, by the way.
31:29Thank you.
31:30I counted four times
31:31that you predicted
31:32the demise of all the passengers.
31:33Well, isn't that
31:34what all safety announcements are?
31:35They only talk you
31:36through the worst-case scenarios,
31:37always,
31:38and that's what I was doing.
31:39I was just pushing it
31:40a little bit further.
31:40You pushed it a bit further
31:42in that you said
31:42that everyone was going to die
31:44and that the chances
31:45of making it to the other side
31:46were virtually zero.
31:47In a crash,
31:48that is probably true.
31:49Then they can relax
31:50because actually,
31:51if you start thinking,
31:51what do I need to do
31:52if it crashes,
31:52if you go,
31:53oh, actually, nothing,
31:54I'll probably die,
31:55you'll actually enjoy the flight.
31:56OK.
31:57Who's next?
31:58It's time now to look at
31:59and listen to
32:00Charlotte and Sarah.
32:09This is the greatest
32:10safety announcement
32:11you'll ever hear,
32:12accompanied by
32:12the greatest aircraft
32:13safety demonstration.
32:15Stay in your seats
32:16and stay facing forward
32:17if you think
32:18this is the greatest
32:19safety announcement
32:20you've ever heard.
32:21Thank you,
32:22of the airlines.
32:33Keep your luggage
32:34in the overhead lockers
32:35if you agree.
32:36If you don't agree,
32:37get up and jump out
32:38of your nearest window.
32:40Your choice,
32:41free world.
32:48This fucking thing work!
32:57Good to see you're all
32:58still here.
32:59Clap with me.
33:01Click with me.
33:03Off we go.
33:04Applause.
33:07Ah!
33:14You're flying.
33:16APPLAUSE
33:19So, the challenge
33:20was the greatest?
33:22Yes.
33:22Greatest stewards announcement.
33:24Had to be unforgettable
33:25as well.
33:26So, what part of greatest
33:27were you attempting?
33:28Unforgettable.
33:29Ah, you put more
33:30emphasis on unforgettable.
33:31I mean,
33:31I can't do accents
33:33or speak another language.
33:34Ah, so,
33:36that's what it ended up as.
33:38Yeah.
33:38Yeah, you're right.
33:39It is difficult
33:40to justify.
33:41But,
33:42it's an unforgettable
33:43safety announcement
33:44and if I saw that
33:45announcement,
33:46I'd never forget that.
33:47Yeah.
33:48Charlotte is hiding
33:49from you.
33:50I'm not.
33:51Why?
33:51It's not like she's done
33:52yet another performance
33:53on a children's TV show.
33:55Clap with me,
33:56click with me.
33:59That could be
33:59Oosh's catchphrase,
34:01maybe.
34:01Bice it up.
34:03This was the task
34:04she apologised about most.
34:05She apologised
34:06to everyone in the end.
34:07Have you apologised
34:08personally to Lorraine Kelly
34:09yet?
34:11Yes.
34:11Yes,
34:12I've written her an email.
34:13I haven't heard back.
34:15The last person
34:16we're going to see
34:17is the person
34:17who looks more like
34:18a pilot
34:19than any actual pilot.
34:20It's Mike Wozniak.
34:23Guten Tag.
34:24Willkommen in unser Flugzeug
34:26mit Mr. Aeroplane Airways.
34:29Bitte hören diese Ding.
34:31falls ein Überraschen werden.
34:33Schau mal.
34:35Ein Plastikding
34:36unter deinem Boot ist.
34:38Es ist nicht.
34:40Es ist kein Pferd.
34:42Schau mal.
34:43Ein Mann mit Anzug
34:44und Schnurrbart.
34:46Wenn etwas schlecht werden,
34:48wird es tanzen
34:49und schrien so.
34:50Hilfe.
34:51Ich will nicht tot sein.
34:53Also,
34:54janken Sie die Geschichtstasse
34:56und atmen Sie
34:57ganz normalerweise.
34:59Wenn Sie Kinder haben,
35:01kein Glück.
35:02Dieser Ding steht
35:04über die Hose
35:04oder über die Rock
35:06oder die Aungel,
35:08wenn Sie dein Tuch
35:08nicht sehen wollen.
35:10Und hier
35:11einen gelben Luftlebenjagre.
35:14Es ist nicht
35:15ein Paraschuten.
35:17Danke.
35:18Ich möchte Fleisch mit Käse
35:19und weiß nicht
35:20über den Bahnhof liegt.
35:23O que é isso?
35:51Did they ever fit in the same day?
35:53It was about an hour before it happened.
35:55That's the sort of last recorded footage of...
35:58..of my Tushy in its sweetest era.
36:03Before it would be true, it was a very different part of life.
36:07Even though he was predicting death, he was such a jaunty character.
36:12I guess I'm going to judge these on who I'd be most comforted
36:15getting in a plane with, and for some reason,
36:18I would be lesser-nerved by Mike's character.
36:20Então, cinco pontos.
36:21Bom, então, Mike.
36:22Eu gostaria de estar em companhia de Charlotte's children's TV presenter
36:26e Jamali's smooth-voiced Frenchman
36:29que eu gostaria de estar com esses dois absoluto nuttos.
36:32Então, quatro pontos...
36:33Four points para Charlotte Jamali.
36:34...am para o Lunatic's three.
36:35Three points to Lee and Sarah,
36:36mas cinco points para o Tushy in its sweetest era!
36:39Tushy action.
36:41A quick look at the scores, Alex.
36:43Bom, series-wise, Charlotte is now in the lead.
36:46No, é o opposite.
36:48Sorry, she's on 88.
36:50Jamali's on 109.
36:52Lee and Mike both battling out for second.
36:54118.
36:55Nine points ahead at the moment, Sarah Kendall.
36:59And in terms of the episode, exciting.
37:02Jamali and Lee joint second on 13,
37:04but the leader with 16 points is Mike Wozniak.
37:09All right, everybody,
37:10make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
37:15Ooh!
37:16What a contraption.
37:18Who's going to read it?
37:19Charlotte Ritchie.
37:20Mm.
37:21Pop!
37:22Pop!
37:23Well, it's sticky now, isn't it?
37:24So I might as well embrace it.
37:25OK.
37:27Stand on either one leg or both legs.
37:32You must do so one at a time behind this curtain with your hands on your head.
37:39The taskmaster will then guess if you're standing on either one leg or both legs.
37:44If he guesses correctly, you are eliminated.
37:47The last person standing on either one leg or both legs wins.
37:51So, one at a time, you're going to hide behind the curtains.
37:54Then you're either going to be like this or like this.
37:57Once your hands on your head, you cannot change the number of feet that are on the floor.
38:01So, it's Charlotte to play first.
38:04Please enter the standing booth.
38:05OK.
38:06Take as long as you want to get in position.
38:08But once your hands are on your head, Charlotte, that's it.
38:10Ooh!
38:11OK.
38:13You can't see my legs, can you?
38:15There's a curtain there.
38:16OK.
38:18OK.
38:22They're on, Greg, she's all yours.
38:23Well, she's a trained actress, so that wobbles very natural.
38:28One leg or two?
38:29Are you on one leg or two?
38:32I'm asking you.
38:33I'm not telling you.
38:34OK.
38:36Well, I hope I'm wrong in many ways, but I'm saying, with some confidence,
38:42she's on both legs.
38:43She's standing on two legs?
38:44Yeah.
38:47My career is actually over, isn't it?
38:51Thank you.
38:52You are out of the game.
38:53I can't believe that.
38:55I was so convinced.
38:56Next up to the standing booth, it's Jamali Maddox.
38:58Come on, Jamali.
39:02He's in, Greg.
39:03Yeah, he is.
39:04Don't forget, Greg, just keep an eye on me and I'll tell you what he's doing.
39:06I'm already...
39:09I'm already less confident than I was.
39:18OK, hands on ahead.
39:23I think he's on one.
39:27Oh!
39:28Oh!
39:30Sweet wobbling.
39:31Method, method acting.
39:33Sweet, sweet wobbling.
39:34I was practising over there method acting, mate.
39:36I got into the role.
39:37Jamali, can you tell me how you do that?
39:39I thought he was double-bluffing me.
39:41Good start.
39:42Thank you.
39:42Jamali is through to round two.
39:44Lee, would you mind entering the standing booth?
39:49OK, let's dance.
39:55I haven't started yet.
39:57Here we go.
39:58Come on now.
39:58Here we go.
40:00Oh, that's nice.
40:03They're in.
40:03That's nice, cos he's leading me to believe that he's on...
40:09No, I know.
40:11He's out.
40:12He's on one leg.
40:16Yeah!
40:19Lee, you're in round two with Jamali Mabbix.
40:22Ah!
40:23Mike Wozniak.
40:24You're into the machine.
40:26I'm not playing mind games with you, but I know you're out straight.
40:29Yeah?
40:30I know your face.
40:32Hang on.
40:34Look at me.
40:42They're on.
40:45He's a gentle sway there, isn't he?
40:47You're trying to sell two, but you're stunting on one.
40:50Is he?
40:53Alex!
40:54OK, so at the moment it's just Lee and Jamali in round two.
40:59I've got my groove now.
41:00Bring Kendall into the lion's den, please.
41:03With all that hair, I wouldn't risk one leg, you're top-heavy.
41:07She's in.
41:12This is all fine.
41:13She's allowed to do this.
41:14Yeah?
41:17She needs to get her hands on her head.
41:21She's yours, Greg.
41:22It was creative, but you're on two legs.
41:27Fuck!
41:29We have three people in round two.
41:31Oh, man.
41:32Jamali Mabbix, please re-enter the standing booth.
41:37Oh, clever.
41:38Yeah.
41:39The hands are on the head.
41:40That's a sweet technique.
41:43It is, isn't it?
41:44It is.
41:45Yeah.
41:46One leg or two?
41:47Oh, I don't know.
41:48Is that a lot?
41:49Yeah.
41:51I don't want to be arrogant, but the man's on one leg.
41:56Yes!
41:57You're quite right, Greg.
41:57Worth a try.
41:58You know what that was a classic case of?
42:00Hubris.
42:01Hubris to the sun.
42:02Hubris to the sun, yeah.
42:03Yeah.
42:04But it was exciting.
42:06Only Lee and Sarah surviving.
42:13Oh!
42:15Schoolboy error, that wasn't it?
42:16Gag before...
42:19There we go.
42:22I'm going for the Jamali technique of concentration.
42:26The hands are on the head, Greg.
42:29Just looking for the...
42:30A slight tremor.
42:35Is that a heartbeat?
42:40The man's on one leg.
42:46Lee Mack survives.
42:48We have a finalist or a winner.
42:54This is it.
42:55Kendall's been such a big player in this competition, so...
42:58Come on, Sarah.
43:01We've seen this before.
43:11It's tried and tested.
43:22She's playing for the taking.
43:24She's on one leg.
43:26Yeah!
43:27There she is!
43:28Which means we have a winner.
43:29She's the lead winner!
43:30He takes it.
43:31What a game.
43:33What a climax.
43:35Come down, let's see how that's affected the final scores.
43:40That must have affected things.
43:42Young fellow, my lad?
43:43It really has.
43:44What a game of bluff, double bluff, triple bluff and more bluff.
43:47Yeah.
43:48Only one point each to Charlotte and Mike.
43:50They were an out in the first round.
43:51Then we lost Jamali and Sarah.
43:53Three points each, but the winner of one leg or two was, of course,
43:55Mr Lee Mack.
43:56OK.
43:58The old bastard legs.
44:00And quite an episode, this.
44:02Up and down, people were.
44:03In and out.
44:05Under and below.
44:06Up we go!
44:07And the winner...
44:11And the winner with a total of 18 points.
44:13He wasn't in the lead, but he is now.
44:15It's Lee Mack!
44:15Hey!
44:18Lee Wings, please throw wobbly for your wobbly things!
44:27What have we learnt today?
44:28We've learnt that if you find yourself out,
44:31wandering on the moors and you hear a strange noise
44:34that draws you in and you want to discover what it's all says...
44:39Try not to worry.
44:40It's just Charlotte Ritchie powering through some poppadoms.
44:45Bye for now, see you next time, but not until we've applauded tonight's winner once more, Mr Lee Mack!
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