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00:12Transcrição e Legendas por Quintena Coelho
00:34Hello, I'm Greg Davies. Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:37As we're near the halfway point of the series, I'd like to take a moment to reflect.
00:41There are those that say Taskmaster is a show without meaning.
00:45The five comedians step into an arena and when they leave, they've learned nothing.
00:49They've made fools of themselves on national television,
00:52brought shame to their families and in some cases, caused themselves physical harm.
00:56To those that would reduce this show to a grotesque spectacle
01:00watched over by a big fat man and a hairy sausage, I say this.
01:04Please welcome...
01:06Charlotte Ritchie!
01:08Jamali Maddox!
01:10Lee Mack!
01:12Mike Wozniak!
01:13And Sarah Kenville!
01:16Now, eagerly sizzling in the pan next to me, statistics are his foreplay
01:21and spreadsheets his post-coital cigarette.
01:23It's the Rolex horn!
01:29Didn't mind that one. Nice, eh?
01:30It implies I had a bit of fun.
01:33Yes.
01:33And also, I have finished maths.
01:36Ah.
01:37OK, we're going back to this one, are we?
01:39I think we should give it a try because I learned all of maths for this.
01:42So I presume there's a calculator in...
01:44Yes.
01:44I popped a working calculator into your drawer.
01:46Right.
01:48I can answer any sum, I'll pop that down.
01:50Do you want to pick a sum, Mike?
01:52Er, 13,243.
01:5513,000...
01:5613,243.
01:5713,243.
01:5813,243.
01:58Yep.
01:5912,243.
01:59Er, plus 8,000...
02:02You are doing plus.
02:03Plus 8,000.
02:04Divide that by 20.
02:06We're adding 8,000 divided by 20.
02:08Just before you give me the answer, take your earpiece out.
02:10Really?
02:11We'll give you the final part of the sum.
02:12Yeah, plus 1.
02:14So all of that, plus 1.
02:15Plus 1, 13,643.
02:38You'll judge whose thing is the craziest, they'll get five points and the overall winner will take home five crazy
02:45things.
02:46It's crazy.
02:47Jamali.
02:48It's pretty crazy.
02:49Because, you know what, yeah, I feel like you haven't enjoyed my other prizes.
02:52Correct.
02:53So I've got a photo of a baby smoking.
02:56Yeah.
02:56There he is.
02:57Oh, yeah.
02:57I remember this kid.
02:58Yeah, I remember that boy.
02:59Pretty mad, isn't it?
02:59He's on, like, 80 a day.
03:01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:01Was it 80 a day or something?
03:02Yeah, 80 a day, but he gave up because he's a quitter.
03:05Yeah, so I thought that was pretty mad, didn't it?
03:07That is your best prize by some distance.
03:11There you go.
03:11It's a happy ending to that story, by the way.
03:13Smoking's bad.
03:14He now thinks chocolate is better than smoking.
03:16Oh, good.
03:17Lee, what have you brought in?
03:18Well, I've brought in something that I find particularly crazy, and that is a lady's swimming costume.
03:24Not just any lady's swimming costume.
03:26I'm the kind of person that thinks, ooh, what's underneath that costume?
03:29And I know you're thinking, hello, a bit old school sexism there.
03:32Yeah.
03:33I mean, rarely underneath the costume.
03:35Here it is.
03:37Oh.
03:38It's absolutely disgusting.
03:39Well done.
03:40Thank you.
03:40I think it's educational, in a crazy sort of way.
03:44Good.
03:45Hello, Charlotte.
03:46Hello.
03:46What have you brought in?
03:47Well, the craziest thing I could think of in my life is that I've genuinely been at the inauguration
03:53of every president during my lifetime.
03:56What do you mean?
03:57There have been seven inaugurations since she's been born.
03:59Four presidents, and you've been at four inaugurations.
04:00Yes.
04:01Wow.
04:01So we've got photos of Charlotte at each of them, which are up for grabs.
04:04Is that right?
04:05Yeah, I have them.
04:06So the first one here, Clinton's one, you can see her there.
04:09Where?
04:09Where?
04:09Where?
04:10Oh, that little kid who's been superimposed.
04:13Oh, God, the disappointment's so crushing that this is fake.
04:17Hang on, I'm confused.
04:18Is the story true, but the picture's fake, or the whole thing's fake?
04:21Charlotte is really there, but all of those old bastards have been superimposed.
04:26Let's see all four pictures before we decide whether this is a fake story.
04:30OK, here's Charlotte at George W's inauguration.
04:32OK.
04:33Yes.
04:33Yes.
04:34Yes.
04:34I am beginning to think it's true.
04:36OK, we're up to Obama.
04:37There I am.
04:38There she is.
04:39Where are you?
04:40There she is.
04:40Oh, yeah.
04:40There she is.
04:41Oh, yeah.
04:42Oh, yeah.
04:42All right, up close.
04:43That's when you went through your awkward teenage phase, and your head was four times bigger than anyone
04:47else's.
04:48Most recently, and you said this was your favourite, Donald Trump's inauguration.
04:51Yeah, really enjoyed that.
04:53That one's quite convincing, apart from the fact that, again, that you're a giant.
04:56Well, that one actually is real.
04:58Is it?
04:59Yes.
05:00What a twist!
05:01It's crazy.
05:02No, it's not real.
05:03Alex, come on.
05:05So, absolutely none of this is true.
05:07But it's beautifully plausible.
05:09Like, I believed it.
05:10You believed it?
05:11Yeah.
05:11And the fact that I believed it is crazy.
05:13Well, love that.
05:14Next up, it's Mike.
05:15Oh, what have you got for us?
05:17So, I am not much of a sort of domestic god, and as a housemate, I'm not too much trouble,
05:23but there's a very specific toilet-based sort of infraction that I do not understand,
05:28for which there is an image.
05:30This is his crazy thing.
05:31Are you saying this is what makes you crazy?
05:33No, I think this choice is crazy.
05:37If you're going to put it anywhere, you could put it on the floor, you could take it with
05:40you, put it behind, whatever.
05:42You've chosen to put it on, on the bin.
05:45Yeah.
05:46For which all you need to do is boop.
05:47Good.
05:48Good?
05:48I think it's crazy.
05:50Okay.
05:50Sarah.
05:51Crazy.
05:52Crazy.
05:52So, I went to a dinner party, and my recollection of the whole evening was incredibly insane,
05:58but there was a candle that they had on the table, and the candle was hundreds of angels'
06:02faces in the wax, and then they lit the candle, and as the night steadily got drunker and drunker,
06:08and the evening felt stranger and stranger, there were melting angels' faces kind of drooping
06:14down the candle.
06:15Here are the melting angel faces.
06:17They're horrible.
06:18Brightening.
06:19It's like we'd angered the gods or something.
06:21I don't know what you're offering up as crazy here.
06:23Melty angels, or the collective experience.
06:26The collective experience.
06:27Now's the time to judge, Greg.
06:29Melted crazy faces.
06:31Toilets.
06:31I didn't find Lee's costume particularly crazy, and I'm going to give it one point.
06:35Okay, so it's one point to Lee.
06:36I'm going to give, I'm going to jump to three points, because I think there's some proper
06:40crazy goes on from that point onwards.
06:42Three points to...
06:43To the smoking baby.
06:45A joint four points to Charlotte and to Wozniak.
06:50But I think I'm being very generous here, because I think I'm giving him crazy points, because
06:55he's crazy.
06:56Yes, he did just put something on a bin.
06:58And five points.
06:59I mean, no one's going to beat that.
07:00I mean, it's absolute madness.
07:01Sarah Kendall takes the big five.
07:03Well done, Sarah Kendall.
07:04Well done.
07:06Let's move on.
07:07Touch, please.
07:08Yes, we start today's show with some banana drama.
07:26Alex.
07:27What's in the mug?
07:28It's coffee.
07:29Do you not want that?
07:30I can put it down.
07:31No, I like it.
07:32Is it all right?
07:32Yeah.
07:32Shall I just crack away?
07:35Yes, please.
07:36Please crack away.
07:37Right.
07:37I'm looking at a frozen banana.
07:40I'm allowed to touch these things, Alex.
07:42All the information's in the task, Lee.
07:44I'll take this off.
07:45I can't hear everything you're saying.
07:46Get all of this banana in the bottle.
07:49Oh, it's cold.
07:52You may not break the bottle.
07:53The bottle may not leave the lab.
07:56Fastest wins.
07:57Your time starts now.
07:58Does that mean now?
07:59Hang on.
07:59It's the old frozen banana in the bottle.
08:02Classic.
08:02Yeah, it's like a ship in a bottle, but a banana instead of a ship,
08:05and it's not often you can use a banana instead of a ship.
08:07Good.
08:08Let's play on.
08:09Oh, OK.
08:10Well, first, it's Jamali and Lee.
08:13Ah.
08:15Right, OK.
08:15It's got a number on it.
08:17So, I have to find the code, don't I?
08:20You've got to get the banana in.
08:21Oh, hello.
08:21There's a code at the bottom.
08:22It says 201.
08:24Hello.
08:25Oh, it's disgusting, this stuff.
08:28Oh, it came off.
08:29Bingo.
08:35It's like a frozen banana as well, isn't it?
08:38Oh, hang on.
08:39There's something in the bottle.
08:40Oh, no.
08:41Oh, for the love of God.
08:42I mean, I'm tempted to pour it all over the floor,
08:44but I have got some dignity of, like, the other people,
08:45the young people, who will throw it all over the floor.
08:48Can I just pour it on the floor?
08:49OK.
08:49Is that right?
08:52Oh, you're fucking surprised.
08:55I can go get stuff?
08:57Oh, all the information's in the task here, Jamali.
08:59Oh, OK.
08:59Oh, you're being sarcastic.
09:01Ah, thank you, man.
09:03Ah, there we go.
09:04It might be that my banana...
09:06Oh, it's jelly, I think.
09:09Did you microwave the banana?
09:10Yeah.
09:11How long before?
09:12Two minutes, two minutes.
09:16This is horrible.
09:17Well, I think if you heat jelly up, it liquefies, doesn't it?
09:22There's no, like, suction device here, is there?
09:24Well, we've got a hoover.
09:25Can I get a hoover?
09:25Do you want me to get you a hoover?
09:26Yeah, give me a hoover, bro.
09:27OK.
09:30All right, now watch.
09:33I think I've just demonstrated lateral thinking there.
09:41We don't have, like, an industrial hoover.
09:43An industrial hoover?
09:44Yeah.
09:44We don't have an industrial hoover, no.
09:46Get the banana defrosted.
09:48Get more of that in there.
09:54Yeah, thank you, bro.
09:55Right, that's the jelly out.
09:57Great.
09:58All of the banana.
09:59It's got to be the skin, right?
10:06Oh, no, it's full up.
10:07The bottle's full.
10:09I'm doing everything in my powers not to masticate it.
10:12But at the moment, it's looking like it might have to be...
10:17Hot or cold?
10:18It's confusing.
10:20Boiling on the outside, freezing in the middle.
10:22A very weird...
10:23Actually, quite nice.
10:24I'm sorry if I should do shit.
10:25Can you get me a cup of water, please?
10:28What's in your hand?
10:29Yeah, but I mean, like, a full-up cup.
10:31Oh, right.
10:31And a little less attitude next time, please, mate.
10:34I thought this was the smartest thing I've ever done
10:36or the dumbest thing I've ever done.
10:37And I'm basically going to squeegee that into the bowl.
10:41Do you know what I'm saying?
10:42OK.
10:44What are you doing, man?
10:45It's a clock in the end.
10:50Stop it.
10:55Nearly.
10:55Stop the clock.
10:56Ah!
11:00Stop it.
11:01Yeah.
11:01OK.
11:02There we go.
11:06I love that you correctly predicted the poor behaviour of the youth.
11:09I knew it.
11:10I knew it.
11:10Just no consideration, just all over the floor.
11:13And I was making a...
11:14I also like that you said you were going to do it with dignity
11:15and then start popping it up in your mouth.
11:17And then spat it into the...
11:18It was a lovely metaphor for the difference between two age groups as well,
11:22in that you thought, I'm going to melt this jelly
11:24and then it'll logically fall out of the bottle,
11:26whereas you asked for a hoover to suck it out.
11:31Yeah, it's only later on I realised that if you add water to it,
11:35that it obviously fills up with air and pushes it out.
11:37But I, yeah, I just thought I could hoover it out or something.
11:40It's the folly of youth.
11:41Yeah, yeah.
11:41Have you got some fascinating statistics?
11:44Lee said the futility levels on this show are beyond the realm
11:46and scored 11 minutes and 13 seconds.
11:49All right.
11:49And to put that into context,
11:50Jamali, after getting a blender, a hoover, a spoon, a funnel,
11:54towel, pumps, 23 minutes and 19 seconds.
11:57Ah.
11:57More than twice.
11:59Lovely to see the older generation winning the day.
12:02There's one thing we know about, it's mashing up our food.
12:04Having a lovely banana snack as well.
12:08Now, who is the man behind the moustache?
12:10It's Mike Wozniak.
12:12So here is Mike Wozniak's banana bash.
12:15So that's, what is that, Vaseline or something?
12:17I think Vaseline.
12:19OK.
12:22Er, OK.
12:24Um, right, so this is frozen.
12:27OK, that's unexpected.
12:29The bottle may not leave the lab, but I might leave the lab.
12:32Back in a tick.
12:43OK, right, I'm going to start.
12:45Let's see if I can sort of very slow to actually go in the actual bottle,
12:52which is full of stuff.
12:53Right, there we go.
12:54A twist.
12:55But full of what?
12:56That's the question.
12:58All right, I'm going to pig's ear of this.
12:59Right, OK, I'm going to try and empty the bottle.
13:03Back in a moment.
13:05Jelly.
13:06It's full of jelly.
13:08What dissolves jelly?
13:11Come in, you cheeky scamp.
13:17Hello, Mike.
13:18Hello.
13:19Look at that, that's going in beautifully.
13:23General pummeling action in the old banana udder is working very nicely.
13:27Skin time.
13:29Do you want me to ask you what time it is?
13:31You can ask me what time, what, what?
13:32I thought you might then say skin time.
13:34Oh, skin time.
13:36Thank you.
13:36I didn't, no, right, OK, I've never, I've not come across skin time before.
13:39You did say skin time.
13:40Did I say skin time?
13:41Yes.
13:42All right, OK.
13:42What time do you mind?
13:43It's skin time.
13:44Thank you.
13:45Skin time is the right time.
13:47Don't mind a bit of finger in there, do you?
13:53Done.
13:53I've stopped the clock.
13:54Thank you.
13:57Wow, Dr. Walker.
13:59If you had to choose one of the catchphrases that have got the nation talking, would it be bamboo time
14:03or skin time?
14:04I think skin time feels...
14:05Because skin time is the right time, am I right?
14:06Skin time is the right time, but it feels a bit blue to me.
14:09I think bamboo time has probably got a bit more universal appeal.
14:11It feels like there's an elephant in the room.
14:13Yeah, I know.
14:14Well, I know what the elephant in the room is, and it crushed my spirit, seeing that.
14:17It's like you're doing an operation and just whipping out the wrong organ.
14:21Heartbreaking.
14:21Just leaping out the window with it, yeah.
14:23Yeah.
14:24Yes, he did.
14:24It left the room, which is a shame, because he got through everything else.
14:26It was the quickest.
14:27Ten minutes, 36 seconds.
14:29Yeah.
14:29But it's a lot easier if you leave the room with a bottle.
14:31Skin time is the wrong time.
14:33But what you saw there was a man who thought it was jelly o'clock on TikTok.
14:39He should have stopped.
14:41And checked his watch.
14:42All right.
14:43And seen that, in fact, it was stay-in-the-room time.
14:46Unlucky loser.
14:47What's next?
14:48Finally, it's Charlotte and Sarah.
14:51I'm just going to try 0-0-0, because you just don't know.
14:54OK, are you going to do all the numbers?
14:55From the beginning to the end.
14:57Yeah, how long have I got?
14:59Oh, yeah.
15:00Well, it just comes off.
15:01OK.
15:03The bottle may not leave the lab, but I can leave the lab.
15:06I can leave the lab?
15:07OK, all right.
15:08OK.
15:10Oh, it's got...
15:13Oh, no.
15:15What's the problem?
15:15It's got, like, a jelly in it.
15:17Ah.
15:18Get out!
15:19Get out!
15:20I'm microwaving the banana.
15:22How long are you microwaving it for?
15:23Two minutes.
15:25It's frozen.
15:26But I've got it on high.
15:27Look at that technique.
15:30Ah!
15:31Oh.
15:34Oh.
15:36Oh, yeah.
15:37Yeah, OK.
15:38OK.
15:40Oh, God.
15:41It's so hot and yet so cold.
15:44Ow!
15:46No!
15:47Oh.
15:49Shit, that's not going to work.
15:50I now have to remove the banana that's already in there.
15:54Do you know what's happened?
15:55Is that I've actually not displaced enough jelly.
16:00Something's shifting.
16:04I'm doing something wrong.
16:06But I'm going to stick with it.
16:08OK.
16:11All right, I think we've made enough space now.
16:13OK, all right.
16:14Just look away, guys.
16:17Fucking come on.
16:19Yeah, that's it.
16:20And I seem to be masturbating a highly lubricated bottle,
16:24but kind of trying to shove banana into the eye of its penis.
16:28OK?
16:32Oh, my.
16:33Oh, this is so upsetting.
16:35Yeah.
16:36There we go.
16:36And then we use the...
16:37That's what we do.
16:39If I eat it...
16:40Then there won't be any banana left, I suppose.
16:42In it goes.
16:45Oh, my God, it's so cold.
16:49Well, that goes in the bin,
16:50so that doesn't count this banana anymore.
16:52OK, so I think I'm finished.
16:54OK, I've stopped the clock.
16:54I'm just going to have to call that one a day, I think.
16:56I've stopped the clock.
17:01Are you actually impressionant
17:02if you put something in the bin that doesn't exist anymore?
17:05Yeah.
17:05I wrote down a quote,
17:07because I don't think that you'll ever say this again in life
17:09what's happened here is
17:11I haven't displaced enough jelly.
17:12It's a one-off.
17:14Sarah, once you'd said
17:15what I'm doing here is
17:17I'm rubbing a banana into the end of a penis,
17:19I didn't hear any other words you said,
17:21because all I could see is that awful image.
17:23Oh, really?
17:24I really enjoyed something's shifting.
17:25I don't remember being...
17:26Oh, yeah.
17:27Something is shifting!
17:29Do you want me to give you some time to break?
17:31I do, yeah.
17:32OK, well, Mike is disqualified, because he...
17:35Tragic, because of the elephant in the room.
17:37He took the elephant out of the room, you know.
17:38Charlotte stopped at 23 minutes 22,
17:41three seconds after Jamali's time.
17:43So she's either second last or disqualified,
17:45because she didn't get all the banana in the bottle.
17:47Yeah, yeah, give her a point.
17:48Why not?
17:48She made it disappear with her magic bin.
17:50Charlotte, you get one point.
17:52Thank you.
17:52Jamali's definitely in third with 23 minutes 19.
17:55We know that Lee got 11 minutes 13.
17:57Sarah, 8 minutes 49.
17:59Act Minuton!
18:01So she definitely gets the five points.
18:02That's crazy.
18:05Scoreboard, please.
18:06Mike is in last place with four.
18:08Our series leader, Sarah, is leading the episode two with 10 points.
18:13APPLAUSE
18:14Mm-hmm.
18:16That is good.
18:17One more task, please.
18:19OK, matey boy, it's team time.
18:22And as a little nod to how you put me to bed each night,
18:26they've been shackled in chains with bells attached to them.
18:28Here we go.
18:31BIRDS CHIRP
18:34BIRDS CHIRP
18:35BIRDS CHIRP
18:37BIRDS CHIRP
18:38BIRDS CHIRP
18:39BIRDS CHIRP
18:39BIRDS CHIRP
18:41BIRDS CHIRP
18:41I think me and you are probably the least appropriate dressed
18:44for the hottest day of the year.
18:46Please mount your podiums.
18:48Thank you.
18:49Hello, team.
18:50Hi.
18:50Please stand on a box.
18:52And when you're on your box,
18:54please put on your little gloves and your belt.
18:57Thank you.
18:57Little gloves.
19:01Right, put this on, yeah?
19:03Please.
19:06Put the bag of salt on that table over there.
19:10Ah.
19:10Is that the bag of salt?
19:11I assume so.
19:13No-one may move while holding the bag of salt.
19:17If the bag of salt touches the ground at any point,
19:19you must return to your starting point.
19:21If any bell touches the ground at any point,
19:24you must return to your starting point.
19:26Bell.
19:27Bell.
19:28You may not touch the rope or your belts.
19:32Fastest wins.
19:33Your time starts now.
19:35OK.
19:36BIRDS CHIRP
19:37This looks like a fun game.
19:39I do it with my children.
19:39All makes sense to me.
19:41Mm-hmm.
19:41I've not got much to say,
19:42other than the sight of Lee and Mike.
19:44Just reminded me of a nurse bringing her delusional patient
19:47across the field.
19:50Shall we start with them?
19:51Yes, please.
19:52They've got an average age of 46.5,
19:55with Lee doing most of the heavy lifting there.
19:57It's...
19:58Mike and Lee.
20:00So, no-one may move while holding the bag of salt.
20:03Could we maybe use the...
20:04What about using the sheet to wrap the...
20:06because then we're not physically holding the bag of salt,
20:08we're holding the sheet bagged up.
20:10So, if I grab that...
20:11I wonder if we clear off the stuff,
20:13the idea is to wrap the thing up in...
20:15so it becomes a bag,
20:16so we're not actually holding the bag of salt.
20:17But one person would then have to carry the red bag.
20:19Yeah, but there wouldn't be...
20:19Because there's no way we can lean in without those bags.
20:21Oh, yeah, exactly.
20:21Yes, one person's doing all the work,
20:23the other guy's just stretching the bell.
20:25Thank you, hold on.
20:26Whoa, hang on.
20:28Because he might say,
20:29whilst holding the salt, is what he says.
20:32Right.
20:32If I was walking along shopping...
20:34Yeah.
20:35..and my wife said,
20:36oh, don't forget to buy salt, I bought salt,
20:37put it in the carrier bag,
20:38and she said,
20:39oh, hang on, have you got...
20:41Did you get salt?
20:41I go, yeah.
20:42And she said,
20:43are you carrying it now?
20:44And I went, no.
20:46She'd say, you are carrying the salt.
20:48I go, no, I'm not.
20:48I'm carrying the plastic bag,
20:50which is holding the salt.
20:50With you completely,
20:51but that we're not in Mac world,
20:52we're in Taskmaster world.
20:54Oh!
20:54Shall we throw it?
20:55Play safe.
20:57Now, yes, you go there.
20:58You'll be a bit closer.
21:00Here it comes.
21:03Yes.
21:10Oh!
21:11Oh!
21:12It's...
21:12It's...
21:13Well, it's...
21:13There's nothing in the thing about the bag splitter.
21:16Everything's fine.
21:17Have you re-knotted?
21:19I've sort of twizzled.
21:20Twizzled, twizzled will be fine.
21:22OK.
21:22Hang on, hang on.
21:24Yeah.
21:25Yeah.
21:29I've stopped the clock.
21:30Sweet.
21:31Do you think you've completed the task?
21:33I don't really remember what the task said.
21:35I enjoy myself.
21:36Are you a bit dirty now, Mike?
21:38I'm salty.
21:38I don't think that's the same thing.
21:40Are you now?
21:40Salt's all right, isn't it?
21:42OK, well, you can remove the belt.
21:44Yeah.
21:44Yeah.
21:47You specifically look like you're having a time of your life, though.
21:50I was having a lovely time.
21:51You look like a provincial vicar tied to Leemac, trotting across the fields without a care in
21:56the world.
21:57You brought me back to my old Morris dancing days.
22:00I've just got clean fun on a summer's day.
22:03See, I don't doubt you have Morris dancing.
22:06Breeze in my hair.
22:07A bag of salt to play with.
22:09Yeah.
22:10What Morgan and Boyd asked for?
22:11There was some real insight into the Mac family there.
22:14Does she quiz you about the contents of their shopping bags?
22:17She's obsessed with salt, and whenever we're coming away from Eddie's shop, she'll always
22:20go, did you get salt?
22:21And I always have to go, yes.
22:22Even if we've been shopping for, like, clothes and things.
22:25Well, look, they told me to stop the clock at 4 minutes 42.
22:29Yeah.
22:29I thought we were pretty slick.
22:30Lovely.
22:31OK.
22:31Ready for the next one?
22:33If you two toy it, I go long and then go under it.
22:36Yeah.
22:36Oh, OK.
22:37Yeah.
22:37We can swivel round.
22:38OK.
22:38And what?
22:41OK.
22:42OK.
22:43Yeah, amazing.
22:44And then we're going to throw it to each other?
22:46Yeah.
22:46All right.
22:47OK.
22:49OK.
22:49Who do I throw it to now, Sarah?
22:50Uh, me.
22:52And then...
22:53Don't step.
22:54We've got to start, guys.
22:56So you can't move when you're holding the back of salt.
22:58Can't move when you're holding the salt.
22:59Off you go again.
23:01OK.
23:01Ready?
23:01Yeah.
23:03All right.
23:05Oh, yeah, great.
23:06OK.
23:07And then, so...
23:08You can't step.
23:09Oh, OK.
23:10Yeah.
23:11OK.
23:12Come on, guys.
23:13Let's get a bit of hustle.
23:15OK.
23:17Oh, OK.
23:20OK.
23:21OK.
23:23All right.
23:25No stepping.
23:28Oh, we've got problems.
23:36Oh, OK.
23:39It kind of felt sweet in my mouth.
23:42Salt.
23:42Oh, guys, guys, guys.
23:43It says...
23:44This is sugar.
23:45It's not salt.
24:07So, let's...
24:09OK.
24:10Yeah, we'd better start.
24:12Yeah, OK.
24:13OK.
24:14Just boot it.
24:14Just kick it over.
24:15Go, go, go, go.
24:16OK.
24:16Just give it.
24:17Kick it.
24:17Kick it.
24:19OK.
24:20OK.
24:21Yep.
24:25Yeah, you got it, you got it.
24:26Yeah, and then just slam it down.
24:29Just...
24:31I've dropped the clock.
24:33Well, there's some salt in a bag on the table, I suppose.
24:36I mean, that is highly irritating.
24:39Watching yours, knowing that you didn't know, gave me an insight into how you feel all the time.
24:45And it felt incredible.
24:47Did it feel good?
24:47Smart.
24:48I was thinking, they've blown this.
24:49They've ruined it.
24:50We are quitting from maximum point.
24:51It was really enjoyable knowing that you messed up.
24:54And then just watching him and watching him being like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:57And I could see him being like, yo, he looked at it.
24:59And he didn't say nothing, but he gave a little eye to Mike and just went like that.
25:04And then just as I was having a little victory parade like that, a timed little voice went, this tastes
25:09sweet.
25:14I was like, what?
25:15What do you mean it tastes sweet?
25:16And then it all inside my head just went to pieces.
25:19When Sarah's dramatic revelation, which I think we should watch because I thought it was worthy of a movie role,
25:25this.
25:26Okay, this is the dramatic moment.
25:32Oh, guys, guys, guys.
25:34This is sugar, it's not salt.
25:37Yeah.
25:38Yeah, genuinely, that's a proper thriller.
25:41I did not know what I was meant to do in that task.
25:44And that was the one thing that I knew.
25:46One fact.
25:46One thing.
25:47But what they can't take away from me is that I had an absolutely lovely day.
25:52They're very exciting and catastrophic for these two clangs.
25:57Well, it's up to you how many points you want to give the team of two.
25:59Can't give them any.
26:00No, you can't.
26:00They didn't put any salt on the table.
26:01And the team of three?
26:02Well, five points each.
26:03It's a big day for them.
26:04Five points for the team of three!
26:05APPLAUSE
26:09Let's go.
26:10What's next?
26:11Loot roll!
26:12Uh-oh.
26:28Got to look for the, uh, look for the task.
26:31Yes, please.
26:31OK.
26:34Um...
26:34Oh!
26:36OK.
26:37All right?
26:37Yeah, I'm good.
26:38You?
26:38Oh, sorry.
26:40Should I do that again?
26:41You can do it again.
26:41Sorry.
26:42Get this sheet of loo roll as far from here as possible.
26:47Only this sheet of loo roll may touch the ground.
26:50The loo roll must not break at any point.
26:53And the loo roll inner tube must stay on the loo roll holder at all times.
26:59I've got banana everywhere.
27:02I'll give you a sec.
27:03Sorry.
27:06You have 20 minutes.
27:07I just need to read that again.
27:09Yeah, absolutely.
27:10All right.
27:11There's a task in there for you.
27:13Is there?
27:13Did you see it?
27:22I can't find a task.
27:23No, I can see that.
27:24We've printed it on paper.
27:27If it was on there, I've just used it.
27:29Oh, did you really?
27:29Yeah.
27:30Yeah, it was on there.
27:31Yeah.
27:33It might be in the toilet.
27:34Oh, no.
27:35Luckily, because I just didn't want to flush the chain.
27:37I just threw it on the thing.
27:38How long do you think a roll a loo roll is?
27:40Good question.
27:42Thank you.
27:44Lee, I'm just going to reattach the original sheet, then I'll start the clock.
27:48Right, OK.
27:49Please don't break it again.
27:51Yeah, I should have probably spotted that, but what I tend to do is use toilet paper rather
27:55than read it awkward, read it first.
27:57You have 20 minutes.
27:59Your time starts now.
28:01I just crack on, use the toilet paper, get on with my day.
28:05All right.
28:06Oh, hello.
28:07You could use that as a loo roll holder.
28:10Genuinely, Lee had some banana from the banana task stuck on his helmet, so he went in there,
28:16cleaned off the banana with the task.
28:18I mean, what struck me instantly is that there were four people getting stuck into Taskmaster
28:23the show, and then Lee was taking part in a documentary about a care home.
28:29That's a man, confused.
28:32I've got banana on my helmet.
28:35Oh.
28:36Thank God I'm a pig and I don't throw my dirty cheese shoes away, I just throw it on the
28:39side.
28:41You didn't even put it in the bin.
28:42No.
28:43What's that going to do to you?
28:44You think it's rising?
28:45It's rising.
28:46It's rising.
28:46First up, it's Charlotte and Michael.
28:50Right.
28:51OK.
28:52Excuse me.
28:57Maybe I'll go out the window.
29:00Ooh.
29:01You've got any sellotape?
29:09OK.
29:10Come on.
29:11I'm fortifying the loo roll.
29:14Yeah.
29:17Try and construct a little loo roll rise.
29:22Do you think everyone's going to do this method?
29:24Yeah.
29:25Great.
29:25It's fairly universal.
29:28I've got to unravel this beast, because otherwise I think I'm going to get myself in a pickle.
29:35Now the wind is going to cause real havoc with this.
29:40Gently.
29:41Gently does it.
29:45Oh, it sounds like a ripping noise.
29:50Somehow the tape's actually made it a lot heavier.
29:53Somehow.
29:56OK.
29:56Come on.
29:58OK.
29:59So you've put the ladder for me.
30:00I'm putting the ladder.
30:04So we've reached the point at which I've ceased to think things through very carefully.
30:17It's becoming a bit of a burden, actually.
30:19Is it?
30:20Yeah.
30:21Because, I mean, in a way, I do wish that I'd gaffer taped the whole thing.
30:26How are the weather conditions?
30:28They're brisk.
30:29At least you're perfect sort of, you know, after lunch walking with, I'd say.
30:34But, er, in terms of sticking toilet paper onto some PVA glue, suboptimal.
30:40Please be careful, Charlotte.
30:41Thank you.
30:42Oh.
30:44That's five minutes to go.
30:46Five minutes.
30:47Crumbs.
30:48OK.
30:48Two ticks.
30:49Oh.
30:50Maybe I should...
30:51OK.
30:52Flirting with the ground quite often.
30:54Yeah, I'm keeping it on the edge.
30:56Oh, no!
30:58Does that come loose?
31:04Oh, no!
31:06OK.
31:08Careful, Mike.
31:08Tense.
31:09Yes.
31:10Tense moment.
31:16That's actually disappointing, to, er, to say the least.
31:22OK.
31:25That's it.
31:26I've boo-booed.
31:29Thanks, Alex.
31:30Thank you, Mike.
31:32Thank you.
31:34I mean, she's fat in any way.
31:36I've known Mike for some time.
31:37I've seen him dancing in a pair of tiny little gold hot pants.
31:41Just an absolute maniac.
31:43And yet, the Mike that I'm presented with here says things like,
31:47I'm going to have to unravel this, otherwise I'm going to get myself into a pickle.
31:51Crumbs.
31:52What's the weather like?
31:53It's perfect after-lunch walking weather.
31:55That was the...
31:56You don't really...
31:57What's happened to you?
31:57I don't know.
32:00They think it was the after-lunch walking weather thing really distressed me.
32:04Charlotte, I thought coming out the window was a lovely touch.
32:07Did you regret not fortifying all of your toilet paper?
32:09I guess...
32:10I guess I got confident and I just kept...
32:12I thought, well, I've fortified the first bit.
32:14I'll just let go now and get moving.
32:16And let's see what happens.
32:17Keep it fast, keep it slick, keep it good.
32:19So many catchphrases have been invented in this series.
32:22I don't know where to stop.
32:24Keep it fast, keep it slick, keep it good.
32:25Do your summary.
32:26Unfortunately, she should have kept it like that.
32:28They could have both stopped.
32:29She'd reached 14 metres, he'd reached 8 metres.
32:31Yeah.
32:32But hers snapped with four minutes to go, his with three minutes to go.
32:35Well, I imagine Mike had to stop so he could go for his afternoon constitution.
32:39Two glorious failures.
32:40Do you want to see some more?
32:41Yeah.
32:41OK, next up are Lee and Jamali.
32:45It says, the loo roll energy must stay on the loo roll holder.
32:48So why don't we get the loo roll holder off, off there?
32:52Do you have a screwdriver?
32:54Phillips or a flathead?
32:57Let me get a flathead.
32:59I should have no problems.
33:01Hailing a cab with this.
33:10What's that?
33:10What's that?
33:11Oh, wait.
33:12A little rock?
33:13Yeah.
33:14Hello.
33:16That's a very odd request while I'm making a television programme.
33:18Can I give you that just to put on your passenger seat?
33:21And just drive away with it.
33:23You can have it.
33:24Thank you.
33:26Go as far as you can.
33:2720 minutes.
33:29Don't take it off the loo roll holder.
33:39You done?
33:40Um, how long time I've got left?
33:42You've got 11 minutes.
33:45There you go.
33:46I'll just have a cup of tea now, yeah.
33:47Right.
33:50Is that further?
33:51Nowhere near.
33:54Actually, what am I...
33:55I can just go there myself.
34:08Your time up, Jamali.
34:09Okay.
34:10Where's the loo roll?
34:11It's somewhere down there.
34:13Like, I got far and then I just kind of got bored, so I come back.
34:16Will I be able to find it?
34:17Yeah.
34:18The cube will go on the street and there's, like, a water fountain that's next to that.
34:20A water fountain?
34:21Yeah.
34:22Oh, that's pretty.
34:23Yeah, like, a little drinking fountain.
34:24Oh, so it's functional.
34:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:26Okay.
34:27Lovely.
34:29Similar technique by both men.
34:30Thanks, Q2.
34:31Good for me.
34:32Jamali, I'm going to put it to you.
34:33I think you really enjoyed that task.
34:35Yeah, yeah.
34:36Yeah, I enjoyed, honestly, like, being in that house for so long, you kind of just want to
34:40start ripping shit off the walls.
34:42Sweet technique.
34:43Yeah.
34:43Worked a treat, I imagine.
34:45Yes.
34:45How far away did he get it?
34:46Well, 60 giraffes lying end to end, 363 metres.
34:50Lee, same technique, rip it off the wall, very clever.
34:53What I enjoyed about it was, I think that that woman was genuinely frightened of you.
34:56There was, um, there was a moment when I was close to saying, can I get in?
35:01Yeah.
35:01And as I was about to say it, I looked in her eyes and I thought, she's going to say
35:05no.
35:05You didn't get the opportunity to look into her eyes, because the last three things you
35:08said to her, she was pretending you weren't there.
35:11Obviously, I don't know the result, but my concern is that she lives, like, very close
35:14to the Taskmaster house.
35:16Her name is Rebecca.
35:17She wasn't happy, but she was happy to be involved.
35:19She wasn't happy at first because she didn't recognise you, and then she did, but she was confused.
35:22Right.
35:23She drove to Kew, which is three miles away.
35:27Wow.
35:28But the loo roll had to remain on the loo roll holder at all times, or else the attempt
35:32would be null and void.
35:34I've actually put together a little video to show you the kind of thing that could cause
35:38an instant disqualification.
35:41It says, the loo roll energy must stay on the loo roll holder.
35:45So why don't we get the loo roll holder off?
35:48Because it probably unscrews and then I can go further.
35:50You've got one, two and a half minutes.
35:52Oh, my God.
35:55No.
35:56Oh, my God.
35:57You're such a bit crazy, man.
35:58I did say one thing, in the break, I looked at Lee and I went, you know, I thought I
36:01really
36:01won that one.
36:02And Lee just said, yeah, but the thing is, you don't know what they're going to spring on
36:05you for.
36:06What's that?
36:07Anyway, let me just get my five points.
36:09Yeah, that was great.
36:10Oh, that's just...
36:11That felt so good.
36:13Thank you, Alex.
36:14Honestly, that felt so good.
36:14I mean, basically, you've got yourself on a police watch list.
36:18For nothing.
36:19I thought the sugar-salt incident wasn't going to get me any more annoyed.
36:23But that, I could kill you, Alex.
36:26It's two in a row.
36:27It's two in a row for Lee, now.
36:28Let's see how sour it is.
36:29OK.
36:29Of course, toilet roll.
36:31It's famously used to wipe your down under, so does that mean our last competitor will
36:34have an advantage?
36:35It's Sarah Kendall.
36:39I'm just thinking that I should get some supports in place.
36:43Yeah.
36:49I think I'm being really ambitious.
36:51Right, OK, so, I'd love it if I got right out into traffic.
36:56Yeah.
36:56You don't think I'm going to, are you?
36:58I'm very excited to watch what happens.
37:00OK.
37:04Oh, fuck, no!
37:05No, no!
37:05Did that just touch?
37:06It didn't, but it was incredibly tough.
37:08Oh, right, I see the problem I've got here.
37:10It's going to start unfurling.
37:11Yeah.
37:13Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
37:18All right.
37:19Getting somewhere.
37:19Yeah, we're getting somewhere.
37:21Oh, no, is that wet?
37:27I've got a spares here.
37:34I'm finished.
37:36Thank you.
37:37Thanks.
37:40APPLAUSE
37:40I think what fascinates me about the whole show, really, is how quickly that becomes normalised.
37:46That I found myself thinking, ah, she's using the old boot-on-a-bucket system.
37:51Yeah, totally.
37:51Yeah, very wise stopping to dry the top of the bucket with her ass.
37:55Ela é uma olímpica player, isso que eu acho.
37:58Eu não sei o que eu tinha, eu não sei o que eu tinha.
38:01Isso é ótimo. Como far você vai?
38:02Bem, é provavelmente mais fácil, se você imaginar,
38:05em red blood cells, 2 milhões de red blood cells.
38:08Isso é um longo prazo, não é?
38:09Não é? Just give us some proper statistics.
38:1114 metros.
38:12Alright.
38:12Weirdo, isso é 2nd place.
38:14Mas Jamali é o Winner, com 363 metros!
38:17There it is!
38:19Meu primeiro 101.
38:20Meu primeiro 101.
38:22Você está jogando agora, não?
38:23Eu estou.
38:24O que é o show?
38:25Ah, come on.
38:28Tusk Game?
38:28Eu não sei.
38:29É, que vai ser.
38:30On with Tusk Game.
38:32É, eu posso dizer que Jamali could still win this one.
38:34Ele é o 16.
38:35Sarah é o 19.
38:36Oh!
38:39Ok, everyone,
38:40please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
38:46Do you like it?
38:47I think I like it.
38:49Yeah?
38:49Who is going to read it?
38:51Charlotte Ritchie is not going to read it.
38:53OK.
38:54Mike Wozniak is going to read it.
38:56Write down what five things are in the bowl under the table
39:00and how many of each thing there are.
39:03You must look at the taskmaster throughout this task.
39:06One of your hands must be in the bowl
39:09and the other must be holding your pen throughout the task.
39:13You have two minutes.
39:14Most accurate answers wins.
39:16You can look at your writing when you're writing,
39:18but please don't cheat.
39:20There are five different types of things in your bowl.
39:23You need to write down what they are and how many of them there are.
39:25Does that make sense?
39:26Yeah.
39:26Simple as that. Five different things.
39:28Are you ready?
39:28Your time starts.
39:31Look at me.
39:32That's a good old rummage.
39:35Identifying count.
39:36That's the game, Greg.
39:37Identifying count.
39:38Oh, come on.
39:40Look at me.
39:40Yeah.
39:41As long as you look at Greg.
39:44Please look at Greg, Charlotte.
39:45Sorry.
39:45I'm just watching your eyes there.
39:46They did drift.
39:47I had something in my eyes.
39:50I blinked.
39:50Look at me, Lee.
39:51As well.
39:51Look at me.
39:52I think Jomani is actually counting.
39:54He's still looking at me, though.
39:55Good boy.
39:56That was really...
39:57That was really horrifying.
39:59That was actually...
40:01Keep looking.
40:02It's true.
40:03I'm your destiny.
40:04Look at me.
40:06Something is emitting an odour.
40:10I've got a special treat in yours.
40:13How long left?
40:14Lee.
40:15Look at me.
40:16Worth writing.
40:17Yellow card.
40:18That's your catchphrase.
40:19Did he stand up, innit?
40:20Yellow card.
40:21Who got a yellow card, Greg?
40:22Lee did.
40:22I've got to look down.
40:23I'm looking at the writing.
40:24He's glancing down.
40:25He's glancing down like a fish.
40:26No, I'm looking at the paper now.
40:28I'm trying to...
40:28You're allowed to look at your writing.
40:30Let's see.
40:32Tick-tock.
40:33Five seconds.
40:38And...
40:38I'm good.
40:41That's your time up, please.
40:43Both your hands above the table now, please.
40:45Oh, what?
40:46Oh, come on.
40:49Such a muggy pup.
40:50OK.
40:51I'm going to ask Charlotte, tell me one of the things you thought you found.
40:55Well, listen.
40:56I'm going to say ice cubes.
40:58How many?
40:58Five.
40:59Five ice cubes.
41:00Five.
41:00Jamali, ice cubes.
41:01I've got six.
41:02Six.
41:02I've got four.
41:03Four.
41:04Three.
41:04Three.
41:05Six.
41:05Six.
41:06The correct answer was six.
41:08Sarah and Jamali, one correct answer.
41:10Jamali, please tell me one of the things you found in your bowl.
41:12Hard-boiled eggs.
41:14I found eggs, but they weren't hard-boiled.
41:15But how many?
41:16I had two.
41:17Two.
41:18Two.
41:18Soft, non-boiled eggs.
41:20Two eggs.
41:21I said two eggs, but I guessed that they were rubber eggs, not actual eggs.
41:26Two.
41:27Two.
41:27So, everyone gets a point for that one.
41:30Yeah.
41:30Lee, what did you find in your bowl?
41:32Well, disappointingly, I found, er...
41:36Hundreds and thousands.
41:38Does anyone else find hundreds and thousands?
41:40I do a joke about egg fried hundreds and thousands.
41:42Yeah, I found hundreds and thousands.
41:43Did you?
41:44OK, did anyone find anything with a consistency of...
41:46I said rice.
41:48Rice?
41:48Rice.
41:49Rice.
41:49Rice, and how many grains?
41:505,000.
41:515,000?
41:52I got, er...
41:546,000.
41:56120,000 grains of rice.
41:58Jamali wins out one of the 17,000 grains of rice.
42:00I win.
42:01You were the closest.
42:02OK.
42:02Mike, apart from eggs, ice, and hundreds and thousands, what did you find in your bowl?
42:06The premature conker.
42:08Anyone else?
42:09A premature conker?
42:10I used to be in a band called Brunchy.
42:12I remember seeing it.
42:13I remember.
42:14Good times.
42:14Did anyone else find anything with the consistency of a premature conker?
42:18I thought they were grapes.
42:19No grapes.
42:20Plums.
42:20No plums.
42:21Lee?
42:21Olives.
42:22No olives.
42:23I said an eraser.
42:24No one found my pickled onions.
42:26Oh.
42:27Finally, Sarah, one last item.
42:30Er, it felt like a blob of, er, gelatin.
42:33How many jelly?
42:34Er, just one.
42:35One.
42:35One jelly?
42:36One jelly.
42:37One jelly.
42:37I found two jellies.
42:39Well, there was only one.
42:39Mike?
42:40One dented jellyfish.
42:42So everyone, again, apart from Lee and Mike, got that one right.
42:46I used to be in a band called One Dead Jellyfish.
42:48I remember seeing it.
42:49Yeah.
42:50How much was it to get in?
42:51Six quid.
42:54Do you want me to add up these numbers, Greg?
42:56Anything.
42:56To take the taste away.
42:59They'd better come down here and we'll see how all that's affected
43:01the final scores.
43:05Hi, Greg.
43:06Hello.
43:07Nice to be back.
43:08Nice to have you back.
43:09Now, that must have affected things a bit.
43:11Jamali identified all of them except for the pickled onions,
43:14because no-one got the pickled onions.
43:15So he gets a full five points.
43:17Well done.
43:17Thank you.
43:19Well done.
43:20Sarah got three other things, so come second.
43:22Charlotte, two other things, so come third.
43:24The team of two, Mike and Lee, have had a complete shocker this episode.
43:27They both came last with just one.
43:29Aww.
43:30Which means, in terms of the series, Jamali is now hot on their tails.
43:3452 points, 57 points, 58 points to Lee.
43:37Obviously, Charlotte, a little way back.
43:40Sarah, 20 points ahead on 78 points.
43:43Wow.
43:44That's unfathomable.
43:45But the winner, 17 points ahead of Mike,
43:47it's the third show she's won in total.
43:50It's Sarah Kendall with 23 points.
43:52Woo!
43:53Sarah Kendall wins again.
43:55Please go crazy for your craziest thing.
43:59Off we go again.
44:02So what have we learnt today?
44:04We've had an insight into two very different career trajectories.
44:08Cut to two years from now, Sarah Kendall steps onto a moonlit city skyline
44:12as the lead in the new Hollywood superhero franchise, Salt Woman.
44:17Back in England, a police car picks up Lee Mack.
44:19He's on the M4 with a shopping trolley full of toilet rolls, shouting,
44:23I thought it was salt!
44:24It looked like salt!
44:27It's buy from us for now.
44:29But let's end with some more recognition for tonight's winner.
44:32She's done it again!
44:33It's Salt Woman!
44:35Sarah Kendall!
44:35Let's go!
45:05Let's go!
45:07Let's go!
45:08Let's go!
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