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00:12Transcrição e Legendas Pedro Negri
00:34Hello! I'm Greg Davies. Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:38This is my kingdom, and on the days when I'm not thrashing my surf,
00:42I seek out other entertainment.
00:43From the many corners of the land, I have gathered five jesters,
00:48and they have danced for me over a period of weeks.
00:51Soon it will be time to select the finest of them all.
00:54He or she will be rewarded with gold,
00:56while the others are fired against the castle walls
00:59from a giant medieval trebuchet.
01:01I will then eat a load of pork and look great on a big horse.
01:05That's what's at stake.
01:06Let's meet those that would jest.
01:09Welcome, Charlotte Ritchie!
01:19And next to me is a man who makes me put the mean into demean.
01:24He's a hairy cylinder of subservience
01:26who once wet himself on a train when he was 30.
01:29It's little Alex Horne!
01:33Hi.
01:34Hi. I am an emotional wreck, Greg.
01:37Agreed.
01:38Shall we crack on?
01:39LAUGHTER
01:40OK.
01:41Prize task, then.
01:42Yes, please, Gigi.
01:43And this week's category is
01:45the best thing to hang on a wall
01:47that you wouldn't normally hang on a wall.
01:49Oh.
01:49OK, so if someone suggested mirror,
01:51I'd say, come off it, push off, mate.
01:53You haven't been listening properly,
01:54and I've had it up to here with your nonsense.
01:56OK, so at the end of the episode,
01:57the person with the most points
01:59will take home all five things
02:00and gain a very unusual feature,
02:02wall at home.
02:05Hello, Sarah.
02:06Hi, Greg.
02:07What thing have you brought in
02:08that you wouldn't normally hang on a wall
02:09that I'd be excited to see hung on a wall?
02:11OK, well, I would not normally
02:13hang a picture of myself on a wall.
02:15I think it's weird for anyone
02:17to have, like, a portrait of themself
02:20in their own home.
02:21You have seen that, right?
02:22Yeah, this is not his house.
02:24If I did have pictures of me in my house,
02:26I should take them down?
02:27Portraits. Big portraits of yourself.
02:28I should take them down.
02:29I'd take it down.
02:30Do you make a note of that?
02:30Remember all of them?
02:31Yeah, remember them all.
02:32There's a lot of them.
02:33So, I have a friend
02:34who started drawing pictures of me
02:36and I wouldn't normally
02:37hang a picture of myself on a wall,
02:38but I would hang those on a wall.
02:40Here we go.
02:41You can hang those on the wall
02:42under your own system
02:44because they don't look like you.
02:47And she's actually written
02:48All right, Cobber.
02:49All right, Cobber.
02:50On the left.
02:50Yeah, yeah.
02:51Just in case you weren't sure who...
02:52Oh, who's that?
02:54Oh, it's Sarah.
02:55If I'm describing who's
02:56on this series of Taskmaster to anyone,
02:57I always say,
02:59Sarah Kendall, you know,
03:00All right, Cobber?
03:01And they go,
03:02Oh!
03:02Oh!
03:05Charlotte.
03:06OK.
03:07Picture this.
03:08You're on the loo, Greg,
03:10and you're thinking,
03:11I want to read a book.
03:12I'm thinking,
03:13put the book on the wall
03:14opposite your toilet.
03:15Hang it and read it.
03:17OK.
03:18And be free.
03:20There you go.
03:22OK, so it hangs at the back
03:23where you can see the little ropes.
03:24Yeah.
03:25You've got some sellotape there
03:26where to keep the book open,
03:28clear.
03:28What if I want to read outside
03:29of those two pages?
03:30Then what it comes with
03:31is a length of bamboo,
03:33a small piece of blue tack,
03:36Right.
03:37Stick,
03:38thwack,
03:39slot.
03:40And it's in.
03:41So I can tap and thwack?
03:42You can tap and thwack and slot.
03:43OK.
03:44I toilet,
03:44I read,
03:45I tap and thwack.
03:47And then you're free.
03:48And then I'm free.
03:49And then you're free.
03:50Lee,
03:51can you beat tap and thwack
03:52while I'm pooing?
03:54One of the problems we're getting old
03:55is how you feel in the morning
03:57when you wake up.
03:58Yes.
03:58And I've invented something
03:59that's going to solve all this.
04:01Really?
04:01And it's called
04:02the wall bed.
04:05So I've invented the wall bed,
04:06which looks like a normal bed,
04:08but if you stand it upright
04:09and then you strap yourself in.
04:11Lee,
04:11I don't want to be critical,
04:12but it's not a chance
04:13that once I'm in my
04:15middle-aged wall bed,
04:17that when I fall asleep,
04:18my body will slump
04:20over those waistbands
04:23and the blood will be cut off
04:24from my waist
04:25and I won't be able
04:26to breathe properly.
04:27What isn't showing in the picture
04:28is the optional handcuffs.
04:30But they're going to be rubberised
04:32so they're not too uncomfortable.
04:33So you're in,
04:34you're up,
04:34your waist is going,
04:35you're like that.
04:36The most that will go forward
04:37is your head.
04:38There is an outside risk
04:39of crucifixion.
04:40Crucifixion?
04:40Crucifixion?
04:41Crucifixion?
04:42Crucifixion.
04:43There's an outside risk of crucifixion.
04:45That's in the small print.
04:46And I can enjoy
04:46a sort of hostage fantasy
04:48if I fancy one.
04:49Absolutely.
04:49And if you have a one-night stand,
04:51it will literally be that.
04:52I think this is a contender.
04:54Congratulations.
04:55Good.
04:55It's a good invention,
04:56isn't it?
04:57Mike.
04:57Hello.
04:57What are you going to hang on your wall then?
04:59I've brought a welcome mat.
05:01Oh, OK.
05:02Which I think is sort of fundamentally flawed.
05:04Very much so.
05:05If your guests,
05:06they come in
05:07and they say,
05:08thank you very much
05:09for your nice message of welcome,
05:10please excuse me
05:11while I grind
05:13fox faeces
05:14into this salutation.
05:17And for the host,
05:18you're very much saying,
05:19you know,
05:20welcome,
05:20but also,
05:22please don't ruin my carpets,
05:23you filthy turd trudger.
05:25Right.
05:26But what if they have got
05:27fox faeces all over their feet?
05:28Then send them away.
05:30It just feels rubbish to me.
05:32Does it?
05:33You've got that sense.
05:35Jamali,
05:36can you beat that?
05:37Yes is the answer.
05:38Yeah, yeah,
05:38best to last.
05:39All right,
05:40do you like sitting?
05:41I mean,
05:42do I?
05:43Do you like snacks?
05:45He knows how to play the game.
05:46You've got eyes, Jamali.
05:47So, and it's not waste time,
05:48mini-fridge.
05:50Oh, it's a mini-fridge.
05:51Mini-fridge,
05:51next to your sofa,
05:52you don't have to walk.
05:53Mini-fridge.
05:54You just admitted you like sitting
05:56and you like snacks.
05:57Five points, please.
05:58I admitted this, yeah.
05:58My body betrays me.
06:01I love a snack.
06:03But I don't think
06:04even I need
06:05this ability.
06:07I mean,
06:08wall-mounted fridges
06:09are quite common
06:09because they really
06:10open up the living space
06:10in the kitchen.
06:11So, it's not something
06:12that's never hung,
06:13but it isn't usually hung.
06:14Yeah.
06:15Yeah.
06:18Right.
06:19Who's got one point?
06:20Wasniak.
06:22Not Wasniak,
06:23one point.
06:23What is slightly better
06:25than the welcome mat?
06:25Jamali.
06:26Okay.
06:27Hello, Jamali.
06:27Two points to you.
06:29I'll take that.
06:29I'm not going to have
06:30a third place.
06:31The other's made an effort.
06:32I'm going to give
06:33four points
06:35to Sarah's Bizarre Pictures
06:38and to Charlotte's
06:40tap-and-sweep
06:41automatic reader.
06:42I'm going to give
06:43the five points
06:43because I like the idea
06:45of not feeling in pain
06:46in the morning
06:46to Lee Mack.
06:47Well done, Lee Mack.
06:48Get the four points.
06:48There it is.
06:51Okay.
06:52Let's get going
06:53with a proper task.
06:55Absolutely.
06:55And it's time
06:55for a spot
06:56of speed reading.
06:58MUSIC PLAYS
07:18Hiya.
07:19Would you mind standing
07:19on the other side
07:20of that rope, please?
07:21Okay.
07:21Hello, Alex.
07:22Oh, hello, Lee.
07:24Hello, Jamali.
07:25How are you doing?
07:26Pretty good.
07:27Hi.
07:28How are you?
07:29Okay.
07:29Please read the task out loud.
07:31Okay.
07:32Complete these tasks.
07:34Complete these tasks.
07:37Oh.
07:39Complete these tasks.
07:40Oh, shit.
07:41What?
07:42No, no.
07:43All right, okay.
07:43Complete these tasks.
07:44The most tasks wins.
07:45Don't like that.
07:46I haven't read it.
07:47Complete these tasks.
07:47You may not step
07:49beyond this line.
07:50Which line?
07:50You had ten minutes
07:51from when the fuse was lit.
07:53Attack the biscuit.
07:55Chuck the dog.
07:57Attack the biscuit.
07:58Chuck the dog.
07:59Embrace the fish.
08:00Chuck the dog.
08:01Chuck.
08:02Attack the biscuit.
08:03Chuck the dog.
08:04Embrace the fish.
08:05Grab the hat.
08:06Inspect the jacket.
08:07Kick the lemon.
08:08Oh, stop it.
08:09Oh.
08:10Right, okay.
08:12Oh, the...
08:13Oh, okay.
08:14Well, I did both.
08:14Two things.
08:15Oh, no.
08:16Chuck the dog.
08:18Uh, mash the...
08:19Oh, for fuck's sake.
08:22You're supposed to remember it.
08:24Mash the nectarine,
08:24open the plum,
08:25quaff the ribina,
08:26sniff the turnip,
08:27undermine the vole,
08:28whack the xylophone,
08:28yank the something or other.
08:30Okay, fine.
08:32Do you remember how long you've got?
08:34I don't remember what dialogue I've got, no.
08:36So, all the information's on the task.
08:38Right.
08:40There was quite a contrast
08:42between Lee's reaction and Sarah's.
08:44They both became very different characters.
08:46Lee became a member of the cast
08:49of Last of the Summer Wine,
08:50where he went,
08:51Oh, stop it.
08:54And Sarah became the most Australian person
08:57on Earth.
08:58Oh, for fuck's sake.
09:01But we're going to begin
09:02by seeing how Sarah got on
09:04all by herself.
09:05Here she is.
09:05I hate this.
09:16Oh.
09:18Mash the biscuit.
09:21I think I had to attack a dog
09:22or lick a dog.
09:25Or bath the dog.
09:27What are you going to do
09:28for that dog?
09:29I suppose I'll lick it
09:30and bath it.
09:31I'm going to lick everything
09:32because I know
09:33I had to lick something.
09:37I'm going to bath the dog.
09:43Maybe we can figure out
09:44some sort of system
09:45like a verb
09:47and a noun.
09:48Like,
09:49eat the lemon,
09:50lick the badger,
09:51play the xylophone.
09:52Well, my main question is,
09:53are you sure that's the badger?
09:54Oh, it's...
09:56I don't know what that is.
09:58Z, it's alphabetical.
10:01Bath the dog,
10:02fish,
10:02E, F, G, H.
10:04OK, so it's the alphabet.
10:06Is it...
10:06Oh, it's the verb
10:07and then the noun
10:09is the next letter.
10:10OK.
10:11Eat the fish.
10:13No.
10:14It's plastic.
10:15J, K,
10:16kick the lemon.
10:20O, P.
10:22Plum.
10:22O, Nectrin.
10:25Bath dog,
10:26B, D.
10:27Q, R, S, T, U,
10:29V, W,
10:30W.
10:31Wash the...
10:33Xylophone.
10:33W?
10:35Oh, but I bathed the dog!
10:36Wash the...
10:37I don't know.
10:39X, Y, Z.
10:41What's a verb
10:42that starts with Y?
10:43Yell at a zebra.
10:45Oh, you...
10:46fucking zebra!
10:50Thank you, Sarah.
10:51Oh, thanks, Alex.
10:52Bye-bye.
10:53Bye.
10:54Oh.
10:56Thank you.
10:58So you worked out
10:59there was a system there.
11:00Yeah, it took a while.
11:02Yeah.
11:02But do you see how I...
11:03It's like I was like
11:04an Enigma codebreaker.
11:06I think Alan Turen,
11:07when he was first
11:08experimenting with Enigma,
11:10did a lot of licking things, right?
11:12What was that?
11:13You also made it
11:14into the Taskmaster
11:15book of quotes with...
11:16Ah, you fucking zebra.
11:21It was yanked the zebra in the end,
11:23so you cracked the system.
11:24What is the system?
11:25The actual instructions,
11:26just to remind everyone,
11:27was attack the biscuit,
11:28A, B,
11:28then chuck the dog,
11:29embrace the fish,
11:30grab the hat,
11:31inspect the jacket,
11:32kick the lemon,
11:33you got that one,
11:33mash the nectarine,
11:34open the plum,
11:35quaff the ribena,
11:36sniff the turnip,
11:37undermine the vole,
11:38whack,
11:38not wash,
11:39brush the xylophone
11:40and yank the zebra.
11:41Next, we're going to see
11:43young Charlotte Ritchie
11:44and even younger
11:45Jamali Maddox.
11:51Attack the biscuit,
11:53chuck the dog.
11:58Right, OK.
12:04Oh, no!
12:05Chuck the dog,
12:06embrace the fish!
12:19That's just you and me now.
12:23Why's the lemon in the ribena?
12:24Yeah, it just was,
12:26I think it said it on there.
12:28It's a pluck the lemon in the ribena.
12:32Younger town, guess in.
12:36Weirdly,
12:36the biscuit has survived
12:37your attack.
12:38Yeah, in fact,
12:38it felt a bit like
12:39the other way around,
12:41Yeah, that's a,
12:42that's a whole biscuit still.
12:43It's pretty much
12:44all still there.
12:46Did you tap water?
12:48Yeah.
12:49OK.
12:54What's up to you?
12:55Double XL.
12:59Do you think
12:59you've done them all?
13:00I think I've done
13:00a lot of them.
13:01Do you remember
13:02what you did to the
13:03vole?
13:04I yanked it.
13:05What did you do
13:05to the dog?
13:06Chucked it.
13:07What did you do
13:07for the biscuit?
13:08Oh.
13:10You've got to
13:10attack it.
13:13And the ribena?
13:14Yeah.
13:14I left it.
13:15Because it had tap water in?
13:16Because it had tap water.
13:17What would you have done
13:18if it was filtered water?
13:19I would have drank it.
13:20OK.
13:20I'll factor that in.
13:21if they put like chemicals
13:22in the tap water.
13:24Who does?
13:25Government.
13:26Tony Blair?
13:27You've got it.
13:29Thank you, Charlotte.
13:30What a humiliation.
13:33It's so cool, Charlotte.
13:34You accidentally
13:35plopped a lemon
13:36into some ribena.
13:37Yeah.
13:38And then you
13:38didn't do anything else.
13:39Yeah.
13:40That's what I feel
13:41like I witnessed there.
13:42I don't know what happened.
13:43You should have
13:43a youthful memory
13:44though at your age.
13:45Yeah, but I get this thing
13:46where under pressure
13:47I go blank.
13:48Really do.
13:49Brain just goes,
13:50bye.
13:51Bye.
13:51Bye-bye.
13:52But what's bizarre
13:52is that I obviously
13:53knew to attack the biscuit
13:54and I just had a long
13:55conversation with you
13:56about the biscuit
13:56and didn't just do it.
13:57You did eventually
13:58attack the biscuit
13:58after being attacked
13:59by it.
14:00And she did embrace
14:00the fish for quite some time.
14:02So she did three things
14:03in the end.
14:03Oh, all right.
14:04Come on, that's all right.
14:05Much better than I thought.
14:06Thank you.
14:06It seems to me
14:07that Jamali did a lot better.
14:09Yes.
14:09But I want to drill down
14:11into your dislike of tap water
14:12first of all.
14:13Obviously.
14:14Don't drink it, man.
14:14But you don't really think
14:15that the government
14:16are putting chemicals in it.
14:17They do put chemicals in it.
14:18It's not like a...
14:18It's not like a...
14:19I'm not saying
14:20it's the Illuminati,
14:21but it's...
14:23But I don't,
14:24yeah, I don't drink it.
14:25Are you going to give him
14:26quaff the ribina
14:27he would have
14:27if it hadn't been
14:28tap water?
14:29Well, now that he's
14:30explained to me
14:31how dangerous
14:31tap water is,
14:33yes, I am going to
14:34give him the point.
14:34OK.
14:35So how many points
14:35has he got?
14:36He got six
14:38of the 13.
14:39Very good.
14:40Did the last two
14:41work out the code?
14:42Here's Lee and Mike
14:43to answer that question.
14:52I'm going to have to
14:52try and improvise now.
14:54I remember there's a biscuit.
14:56Well, we can see the biscuit.
14:57Right.
14:59OK.
14:59Fine.
15:00Attack the biscuit.
15:01Attack the biscuit.
15:03Attack the biscuit.
15:05I can definitely
15:05attack the biscuit.
15:07Ha!
15:09Well, that's easy
15:10because I imagine
15:11it was you
15:11lighting a piece of paper.
15:13Coffee and I've been here.
15:16Open the plum.
15:17Hat.
15:18Could have been
15:19attack the hat, actually.
15:21I've attacked the hat.
15:23Um, lemon.
15:25Kick?
15:25Not sure.
15:27All I can remember
15:28is attack,
15:28so my theory is
15:30if I attack everything,
15:31one of them is right.
15:38and I've attacked the apple.
15:38Undermine the vole.
15:40Um,
15:41you've got no chutzpah.
15:42Your organisational skills
15:44are lacklustre.
15:45Your timekeeping
15:45is abysmal.
15:52I've attacked that,
15:53I've attacked that,
15:54and I've attacked that.
15:55Bite the apple.
15:58No,
15:58it's a nectarine.
16:00And it wasn't bite it.
16:01This has got to be drink,
16:02hasn't it?
16:05Um,
16:07bowl of hat.
16:08Wear it.
16:09Kick it.
16:10Stand by it.
16:12Put it on a zebra.
16:14Attack,
16:16hide.
16:16Are you trying to think
16:17of another verb?
16:19I'm thinking of verbs.
16:21I'm thinking of the logical verbs.
16:22OK.
16:23I'm out of thoughts.
16:25Ride it.
16:27See you freezing more?
16:28It wasn't getting the bath,
16:29was it?
16:31Have you ever washed a dog before?
16:32I've never.
16:33No,
16:33I've never washed a dog.
16:34I think it's how you do it,
16:35isn't it?
16:35The jacket.
16:37Dead zebra.
16:42I did terribly,
16:43didn't I?
16:44Thanks, Lee.
16:46Who tells you to attack
16:47a fucking lemon?
16:49LAUGHTER
16:50Turns out nobody.
16:52Basically, Lee,
16:53what your memory can now hold
16:55is the first thing that you see
16:57and the first words you hear.
16:59So attack and biscuit,
17:01and the biscuit's in front of you,
17:02that's all that went in.
17:04Yeah.
17:04The rest of that was just madness.
17:06I'm getting to the age now
17:07where when I saw the bath,
17:08I thought,
17:09perhaps I should go down
17:10a hill in that,
17:10like, last of the summer.
17:12LAUGHTER
17:13But he did attack the biscuit,
17:15successfully.
17:15He quaffed the ribena.
17:16He did?
17:17I mean, that was lucky,
17:17to be honest.
17:18Accidentally whacked the xylophone
17:19and yanked the zebra
17:20because he attacked them both.
17:22Did I?
17:22If you want to give him
17:23whack and yank.
17:24Yeah, I didn't realise.
17:25Yeah, I'll give him
17:26whack and yank,
17:26for God's sake.
17:27Oh, that was quite...
17:28Give the guy a break.
17:30Thank you.
17:30So we've got a total of four, then.
17:31I mean, it's amazing,
17:32he remembers to dress himself.
17:35Mike, you undermined the vole
17:37and I actually, out loud,
17:39whispered to myself
17:40his poor children.
17:42LAUGHTER
17:43You've got no chutzpah.
17:45That's your go-to
17:46for undermining something.
17:48You've got no chutzpah.
17:49But, I mean, I was excited.
17:51There was fire.
17:51I'd been told to undermine the vole
17:53and I'd let him have it.
17:55You know.
17:56How many did he get?
17:57I would say seven.
17:59He attacked the biscuit,
18:00he kicked the lemon,
18:00he opened the plum,
18:01he quaffed the ribena,
18:02of course he undermined the vole.
18:03He also whacked the xylophone
18:04and he yanked the zebra off the wall.
18:06So, we'll give him seven out of 13.
18:08It was a valiant attempt.
18:09Do you want me to give you the points?
18:10I do, let's go.
18:11Sarah came last,
18:12so she gets one point.
18:13Next up is Charlotte,
18:14she gets two.
18:15Lee gets three points,
18:16Jamali four,
18:16but the winner of that task,
18:17he got seven things right,
18:18so Mike Wozniak gets five points.
18:19Yay!
18:22So, let's have a scoreboard, shall we?
18:24Yes.
18:25We've got three people in joint second
18:26on six points.
18:27That's Charlotte, Jamali and Mike.
18:28He's not won an episode yet,
18:29but Lee Mack is in the lead
18:30with eight points.
18:31Yay!
18:32Thank you.
18:34What's next?
18:35It's dinner time.
18:51Hello, Jamali.
18:52How you doing?
18:54Is the task in the babushka?
18:56Should I?
18:57May I?
18:59Boing.
19:01Hang on.
19:02Is there an envelope
19:03that I should be looking at first?
19:06Oh, that's a little.
19:08What's that?
19:08I mean, there wouldn't be any more,
19:09would there?
19:10It's got...
19:10Hang on.
19:11Oh.
19:14Please look under the table.
19:16Oh, nice.
19:19That was fun, wasn't it?
19:20Yeah, no, it was fun.
19:22Was it the task in the...
19:24I haven't got a clue.
19:26OK.
19:27Oh.
19:28Make the best babushka meal.
19:31Each course must be presented
19:33inside the previous course.
19:35Best babushka meal wins.
19:37You have five minutes
19:38to order your ingredients
19:39and 20 minutes
19:40to prepare your babushka meal.
19:42It's not much time,
19:4320 minutes.
19:44Take longer than that
19:44to do Angel Delight.
19:46Your time starts now.
19:48Golly.
19:49OK.
19:50Each course must be presented
19:52inside the previous course.
19:55All right.
19:56We're not baking, are we?
19:58I mean, we can't do, like,
19:59a protein animal stuffed inside
20:01an animal stuffed inside
20:02an animal,
20:03otherwise you're going to have
20:03to eat raw, layered animal.
20:08The first item has to be
20:10the biggest item I can think of
20:11that is edible but also hollow.
20:15Greg available?
20:17LAUGHTER
20:20I've got nothing going on in there.
20:22Nothing at all?
20:22Nothing except for the fact
20:24that I'm thinking
20:25that I'm thinking.
20:26Er, an avocado.
20:27A lime.
20:29No.
20:29You're going to have to eat it.
20:30Yes.
20:31A lime.
20:32You've got to eat it, right?
20:33OK, have a tin soup, please.
20:35That's the cheapest
20:36non-brand soup you can get.
20:38Ask them what you have
20:39in the back.
20:41I've got the word eggs.
20:42It's coming to my head.
20:43I think I'm going to need eggs.
20:44Hundreds of thousands.
20:46I don't need that many,
20:47just one.
20:48I'll be honest with you,
20:49I think you might have to buy them
20:50in the hundreds of thousands.
20:51WHISTLE BLOWS
20:53Thank you, Mike.
20:53I'm going to go to
20:54the hypermarket today.
20:56On the ferry?
20:57Yes.
20:57And I'll just sit tight.
21:01Right.
21:02So it's a sort of
21:03twisted version
21:03of a three-bird roast
21:05we're talking about.
21:05The turducken.
21:07I want to keep track
21:08of Charlotte's
21:09ongoing audition
21:10to be a children's TV presenter.
21:12Yes.
21:12Very well, isn't it?
21:13Do you remember
21:13what you said
21:14when you took
21:14the vabushka's head off?
21:16Um...
21:16I'll tell you if you like,
21:17I've written it down.
21:17OK, what was it?
21:18Boing.
21:20OK.
21:21It's a lovely boing.
21:22Yeah.
21:23Well, that I went.
21:25Boing.
21:25Boing.
21:26You learn a lot about yourself.
21:27Shall we, uh,
21:27shall we see some stuff?
21:28OK, we're going to start
21:29with two chefs
21:31and a nice slice
21:32of Kendall Mike cake.
21:33It's Mike and Sarah.
21:39What?
21:44OK.
21:49Course, course.
21:55Dinner is served.
21:57That took you four minutes.
22:00It's a simple dish.
22:02OK.
22:04Oh, it looks quite nice.
22:08So you undo the bow
22:08to reveal a simple
22:10but sophisticated starter
22:12of our bread and olives.
22:19So it's your bed of lettuce.
22:21Inside the lettuce
22:22is your apple.
22:23Inside that is your avocado.
22:26Oh, what's that?
22:27And that's your salmon
22:27and your couscous.
22:28Oh, that looks horrible.
22:30So you've got your
22:31bread and your olives there.
22:32Not a big fan of olives.
22:34Not a big fan of olives.
22:35No?
22:36Even now.
22:36Oh, absolutely.
22:37OK.
22:38They're quite, uh,
22:39you know what I mean?
22:40Inside is your orange.
22:42Your orange peel.
22:43Your orange peel.
22:44Not to be confused
22:46with the good bit.
22:47And now we move on
22:48to the main course.
22:50Scotch.
22:51Just scotch?
22:51Yeah.
22:53Yeah.
22:54That's the egg.
22:54That's been removed.
22:55It's just scotch.
22:57That's your banana.
22:58I recognise that.
22:59Yeah, that's your banana
23:00inside your orange.
23:02And there's for silly
23:02and chilli
23:04and, uh,
23:06Fanta is...
23:07Where's the Fanta?
23:07Oh, that's the wet, is it?
23:08OK, well, let's see
23:09if we can get a bit of everything.
23:12You really see it there,
23:13don't you?
23:14Look at that.
23:15And now,
23:16for the final,
23:17the baby babushka
23:17is your pudding.
23:19A little chocolate egg.
23:20A little chocolate egg?
23:21You could sell them.
23:22Uh, well, yeah.
23:23I've got other interests.
23:25Bon appétit.
23:34It's not that bad.
23:36I'll just package up
23:37the remaining halves.
23:39You read babushkas,
23:40as you can see,
23:40if you haven't finished,
23:41you just read babushka-dip.
23:43I read babushka-dip.
23:43Yeah.
23:45Excellent.
23:48Sarah taking on board
23:49high-end, uh,
23:50maitre d' techniques there,
23:52which is,
23:53as you're offering up the meal,
23:54to touch every element of it
23:56with your finger.
23:57Really kind of
23:58started working it a little bit.
24:00I'll have to take
24:00a response from you, really,
24:02cos you had to eat it.
24:03Yes.
24:04It was drenched in Fanta.
24:05That's worth noting.
24:06So it was a Fanta jus.
24:09Mine was more fully enclosed,
24:11but also very basic.
24:13And I boo-booed with the olives.
24:14I'll admit that.
24:15I like the fact that you thought
24:16he might enjoy olives
24:18for the first time in his life
24:19in context of your creation.
24:21That was a nice touch.
24:22I thought it was worth a pop.
24:23I also think
24:24some credit should be given
24:25to making a meal that's
24:27a re-babushka-ball.
24:29Exactly.
24:29for Cornish miners.
24:31Oh, exactly.
24:31If they don't want to take
24:32the usual pasty,
24:33they can just wrap up a re-babushka
24:34or load of shit.
24:36The next chefs up
24:38are Lee and Jamali.
24:41What flavour soup do you like?
24:43We've got, um,
24:44nondescript or nondescript?
24:46Oh, I love a bit of nondescript soup.
24:47Nondescript.
24:50Carefully slice, carefully slice.
24:51Oh, look at that.
25:01Put that round there.
25:02Keep it all knotted together.
25:03Oh, you...
25:05How long's left, Alex?
25:06Five minutes.
25:07I've got to remember the order now.
25:09There you go.
25:10I call it a full day set-up.
25:13Hello, sir.
25:15Wow.
25:16Your dish.
25:17Et voilà.
25:19And breakfast first, is it?
25:20Yep, breakfast first.
25:21So salmon and eggs.
25:23Yep, they're nice.
25:24Yep.
25:24How many eggs?
25:25You've got about six eggs in there.
25:27Lovely stuff.
25:30Oh, yes.
25:31How firmly is that held together?
25:33Can I let go?
25:34You can.
25:34It won't move anywhere.
25:35Well, it'll move a bit.
25:37And then inside,
25:38you'll see the many layers.
25:39It looks fabulous.
25:40Thank you.
25:41And what do we have below?
25:42Well, you've got soup.
25:44Oh, yeah.
25:45And it's cold soup, too.
25:46Oh, thank you.
25:47So it's, what's it called?
25:48With, what do you call cold soup?
25:49Gazpacho.
25:53Oh, it is cold.
25:55Yeah, yeah.
25:55On the outside layer,
25:57would you like to start with the watermelon?
25:58Yes, please.
26:00That's delicious.
26:00It tastes so watermelony.
26:02That is the main cause.
26:03That was breakfast.
26:04That was lunch.
26:05It's chicken now.
26:07Right.
26:07Full roast chicken.
26:08It's a straightforward chicken?
26:08Full roast chicken.
26:09You're now ready for cantaloupe.
26:10In the mouth.
26:11Get the jelly in you,
26:12because that's the next layer after the cantaloupe.
26:13Everything's alternated with a bit of jelly.
26:14That's the palate, isn't it?
26:15That's the palate.
26:16What's after the cantaloupe?
26:16I think it might be the...
26:18It looks like there's a bit of chocolate.
26:19Kinder egg.
26:20No surprise?
26:21Well, the surprise is there's jelly in a pea.
26:23Get the jelly.
26:24Cleanse the palate.
26:25So the chicken top comes off.
26:26It should come off.
26:28Yeah, there you go.
26:29And then you've got a yucca pudding.
26:31There you go.
26:33Oh.
26:35Disappointing, that bit.
26:36Yeah, but that's the jus, isn't it?
26:37Mm.
26:38Oh, no.
26:39Is that a tic-tac?
26:40Mm-hmm.
26:40Go, Smarty.
26:41Go, Jelly.
26:42Because each layer is...
26:43Have I mentioned each layer being...
26:44Nice.
26:45Cleanse the palate.
26:46Get in there with the pea.
26:48Oh, that's actually nicer than a normal pea.
26:51Inside the cappuccino...
26:52Oh, yeah.
26:52...is trifle.
26:54Oh, and that's lovely.
26:54Rats up in a plastic bag.
26:56Very nicely.
26:56You've only got one thing left.
26:57You have a hundreds and thousand.
26:59A hundreds and thousand.
27:00How do you say this word?
27:01There is one hundreds and thousand in there.
27:04Yes.
27:04Eat that.
27:06That's disappointing.
27:07And to be fair, a hundred thousand aren't known for their taste.
27:09It's more of a texture.
27:11Thank you, Lee.
27:12All right.
27:13Thank you.
27:13I'm going to go back to breakfast.
27:15Okay, man.
27:15You enjoy it.
27:16Will do.
27:18Wow.
27:19Wow.
27:21I mean, you upped the ambition, both of you.
27:23Do you know, I trained to be a chef.
27:25Did you?
27:26You can't see that there.
27:26Yeah, I can see why you're a comedian.
27:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:30Jumaane did the proper cooking amongst the five of them.
27:33I really like the logic of a whole day of eating as well.
27:36Yeah.
27:37I just don't know where the concept of smothering everything in soup comes from.
27:41That was one of the layers, isn't it?
27:43It says the bread and soup.
27:45One of the most appetising moments for me is when the chicken was lifted
27:49and the cold soup came in like a river of...
27:51That's the point.
27:52It was like a river of misery.
27:54His meal did feed the crew for the whole day.
27:57We had all...
27:57Because the salmon and the eggs were delicious.
27:59The chicken, once you'd rinsed off the soup, was fine.
28:01We didn't waste any of that.
28:03It was a lovely mint.
28:04It really genuinely all got eaten.
28:05It was a tiger loaf.
28:06It was a lovely dish, so thank you.
28:07It was impressive.
28:08What about Lees?
28:09Now, I think what you did was intersperse every course with jelly
28:13to cleanse the palate.
28:14Admittedly, I probably should have gone with a mint or a lemon flavour.
28:16Not strawberries, not known for cleansing the palate.
28:19You came good with the mint in the end.
28:21And, of course, that classic pea into mint.
28:23Pea, mint, hundreds of thousands.
28:25The pea was the most spectacular solitary pea I've ever eaten.
28:29They were both very impressive, very ambitious meals.
28:32Mm-hmm.
28:33I don't know whether Charlotte can beat this.
28:35Do you want to see?
28:36Yes.
28:36OK, it's The Last Supper Now, made by Charlotte Ritchie.
28:42Right.
28:50I mean, there's nothing going on there.
28:53I did forget to put the heat on.
28:57On that goes.
29:02Thank you.
29:04Hello.
29:05Hello.
29:07That's for you to wash it down with.
29:08Right.
29:12Is it on a plate?
29:13No.
29:13Don't need it.
29:14No.
29:15I've got a knife and fork.
29:16Do you want to need these?
29:17Um, I don't think so.
29:18No.
29:20Right, then.
29:22Oh.
29:24That's it, straight in.
29:26I can't take credit for that.
29:28So it's bread and just seasoned with...
29:30Doesn't need it.
29:30No.
29:31OK, well, that was nice.
29:32Yeah.
29:33On to the second course.
29:35What's the back bit?
29:36That's, um, crisping.
29:39And this is egg with, um...
29:41Egg.
29:45Yeah.
29:46Well, I think you've done...
29:47Yeah.
29:48So you ordered some ingredients.
29:49Yeah.
29:49And now I'm eating the ingredients.
29:50Yeah, I can see why that might feel a basic approach.
29:56What's nice, as well, is that that egg's left a lovely sort of sheen of moisture over the, um, raw
30:02pepper.
30:04And how have you done the pepper?
30:06Just done it.
30:07Cut it in half.
30:08Course number four.
30:09Yeah.
30:09Onion.
30:10Oh, boy.
30:12It's not cooked.
30:13Hmm.
30:14Sorry.
30:15Oh, dear.
30:16And the lemonade's not going to...
30:23It's hard work.
30:24OK, so I can see what's happening now.
30:26Yep.
30:26You've got pudding.
30:27Get the mushroom off the pudding.
30:30It's like the inside of an animal.
30:32What does it...
30:32That's the anus, and that's the...
30:34Oh!
30:34That's the bit.
30:35OK.
30:36That is disgusting.
30:39And are you going to eat that, yeah?
30:40I'm going to suck it out, I think.
30:41Oh, no!
30:47Oh, did you get that?
30:48You sucked the innards out of the chocolate.
30:50Does it pop your finger in and...
30:52Well, it looks like it.
30:56Have you done it yet?
30:58Yep.
30:58I heard it.
31:01You can keep it as a sort of snack box.
31:04Yeah, that's going to last me a week or two, I think.
31:06Yeah.
31:06Thank you.
31:08Thank you.
31:09Enjoy.
31:12The old onion-anus chocolate block, wasn't it?
31:15As a general rule, I don't know whether the chef should be...
31:19..quite so visibly disgusted by their own dish.
31:21Their own dish, yeah.
31:22Yeah.
31:23Yeah.
31:23And what cooking actually went on?
31:25You cooked the eggs.
31:26So, the cooking process...
31:27OK.
31:28..takes the minerals out of the...
31:29You made an omelette.
31:30That was the cooking process.
31:31Yeah, but you got to with an egg.
31:32Which put a slimy sheen over a pepper.
31:34Stunning.
31:35Right.
31:35Stunning.
31:35Stunning.
31:36Yeah.
31:36Also, I want to say, I did use the bread after...
31:40..ashamed something delicious with it when I took it home.
31:41Oh, it's worth the saying that none of the food during this task
31:44got wasted.
31:45No, it was all reused.
31:47It was reused.
31:48You ready?
31:48I'm ready.
31:50Two points each...
31:51Ooh!
31:52..for Mike and Charlotte.
31:53The basic boys.
31:54Two points is more than generous.
31:56Oh, should I give it one?
31:57If I look at them now, I feel like taking a point off them.
32:00Because I've seen their faces.
32:02But don't.
32:02But don't.
32:02I think I've got to teach Mike a lesson here for his smug face.
32:06Ah.
32:06I'm going to give him one point and I'm going to give Charlotte two.
32:08I think he's got to learn something from it.
32:10OK, so smug face Mike...
32:11So I haven't got away with it, is what you're saying?
32:13No, you haven't.
32:14One point to Mike.
32:15Two points to Charlotte.
32:17Good.
32:17And by far the best was Jamali.
32:20So I'm going to jump to the top now.
32:21Five points.
32:22Then it's the incredible flavours of Lee's super pee.
32:27Oh, the pee.
32:29Because the view affected me emotionally so much,
32:32it would be wrong to mark Sarah down.
32:34I'm going to give her four points too.
32:36So it goes one to Mike, two to Charlotte,
32:39four to Lee, four to Sarah, five points to Jamali Maddox.
32:42There it is.
32:43I didn't hear that.
32:45Woo!
32:46OK, what have we got now?
32:48We've got a team task and one I think they'll all agree
32:51they've found intensely infuriating.
32:53Oh, my God.
33:06This looks interesting.
33:08Whoa.
33:09Oh, it's drizzle.
33:11Please be careful.
33:14Lovely.
33:15On your marks, get set, go.
33:17Go.
33:20Get out of the front gate,
33:22setting off the alarm the fewest times.
33:25Every time the alarm goes off, you must start again.
33:28You must only step on your stepping stones.
33:31OK.
33:32All right, your time starts now.
33:37I bet the red one goes...
33:43Oh, no.
33:45Fluffling.
33:47I have to say, of all the things we did on those things,
33:51this is the one that's been playing on my mind.
33:53I am dying to know.
33:55what the hell was going on here.
33:57Well, die no longer.
33:59Let's find out.
34:00We are.
34:00We're going to see you and Mike attempt it.
34:03First of all, can they crack the code?
34:11Oh, no.
34:16It's not the red that's starting it off.
34:23Maybe we're supposed to be sitting at the same time.
34:25Let's try that.
34:28Doing it together doesn't seem...
34:29Ah, is that because I got two on one?
34:37What if you can't talk, but when you get to the green,
34:40you've got to start talking?
34:41OK.
34:43Did you have a nice breakfast?
34:44Are you talking, are you talking?
34:45Oh, every bit...
34:46Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
34:47But every time you pass green, you've got to start talking.
34:49Yeah.
34:50Well, I must say, it's a bit of a swel...
34:52Try the opposite way.
34:53Hello, I'm now talking and you're not...
34:55Every time you're on the green thing, you've got to make a noise.
34:58Yeah.
34:58Noise time.
35:00That's not it.
35:01Are you guys enjoying the task?
35:03Really not enjoying it, genuinely.
35:05Because I don't like trying to solve something
35:07when I don't know what it is I'm supposed to be solving.
35:09Can I suggest something?
35:10Lighten up.
35:12Have we tried it where when I'm on the green,
35:14you talk and I don't talk?
35:16Yeah, we did that.
35:17That's a blur.
35:17No.
35:25What was that about?
35:26Because that was the white.
35:27It is consistent.
35:29Consistently annoying.
35:31Right, look, I'm going to try something.
35:32Just, we're here now, we've got nothing to lose.
35:34Yeah.
35:34I'm talking now, I'm talking...
35:36Right, so that sets it off.
35:37Yeah, and I'm talking now.
35:39So we can't talk.
35:41Animal noises?
35:43Seems like a stretch.
35:45Why don't we make the noise of the alarm?
35:49Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
36:02I've never solved a puzzle before and still not know how I've solved it.
36:07Very good.
36:08I just like it noted,
36:09that I think that Mike runs like a lion-stalked gazelle.
36:14And I'd like to point out yet again
36:16that he has, instinctively,
36:18a Victorian dialect he employs.
36:20When he was asked for just him to talk,
36:23he said, well, I must say...
36:26Just entirely bizarre.
36:27Tell me what the system is.
36:29The alarm goes off after seven seconds of silence
36:32or when someone says a word containing the letter T.
36:36Tank top or rabbit.
36:37How would we ever get that?
36:38So they stumbled across their victory.
36:40This one was very much which team stumbled across the code first.
36:43Well, I must say...
36:46Here's how the team of three got on.
36:48Play on.
36:50I bet the red one goes off.
36:53Wait, is that...?
36:54I think the red one sets it off.
36:55OK.
36:55We can move the stepping stone,
36:57so if you step like this and when it comes to...
36:59Oh, it's not just the red one.
37:01Oh, maybe we've got a stepping stone at the same time?
37:03Yeah, maybe.
37:12I think I went too fast.
37:14Yeah, we're too distant.
37:15OK, sorry.
37:16OK.
37:17One, two, three.
37:19Maybe only one of us go.
37:22Oh, maybe we have to remember the ones that set off the alarm.
37:24So, mine's after the green.
37:29Last time it was after the green.
37:32Hang on, I didn't even step on it then.
37:34OK, so what's the situation?
37:37Because there must be someone watching us and then doing the buzzer when we do the thing.
37:41Did you sabotage the person behind in the caravan with the buzz?
37:44What, we let go and attack them?
37:46Is there something we say beforehand?
37:48Turn the alarm off.
37:53Oh, I was so sure.
37:56That should be the solution to it.
37:58The colour?
37:58Maybe we say the colour as we walk on them?
38:02OK.
38:02Yeah, sure.
38:02OK.
38:04White.
38:05You say the colour it's not?
38:07Red.
38:08Red.
38:09Red.
38:10White.
38:10White.
38:11White.
38:12Do you want to just try and sprint?
38:25Backwards.
38:26Every time the alarm goes off you must start again.
38:32Red.
38:32Red.
38:33Red.
38:33White.
38:34Red.
38:35Red.
38:35Red.
38:36Red.
38:38Red.
38:38Red Red.
38:39Red.
38:40Red.
38:40Red.
38:40Red.
38:41Red.
38:43Red.
38:43Red.
38:44Red.
38:58Red
38:59We did it.
39:00Thank you team.
39:02Well done.
39:03Oh wow.
39:04Cora.
39:05Não, não está.
39:07O que é triste que você achou eu, eu acho, foi,
39:10suando-se, de no meio a lei de um.
39:12O clássico...
39:12O que é a situação?
39:15Oh, meu Deus!
39:17É uma badia, não é?
39:19É uma frase que se escreveu em um script,
39:21ele diz assim, você não tem que falar que não seja realmente.
39:24Eu falo de uma tenta honra sobre a situação.
39:27Porque eu não sei quem foi que foi que foi que foi a causa.
39:29Eu sei o que é o que é.
39:30Eu acho que o situação é o que é ruim.
39:31A team of two took 12 minutos 24 minutos, a team of three, 15 minutos 50 minutos.
39:37However, it's not about that.
39:39Who set off the alarm the fewest times?
39:41Oh, yes!
39:43Well, I must say...
39:45I'll tell you what, because that is not the situation I was expecting.
39:49Jamali, Shahla and Sarah only set off the alarm 34 times.
39:53OK, that's quite a lot, isn't it?
39:55Yes, Mike and Lee 21 times, so they win the five points!
39:57They take the five points!
39:59APPLAUSE
40:00Let's have a quick look at the scores.
40:02I'm going to give you a series score update if you want, Greg.
40:04Yes, I do want.
40:05Charlotte, you've got 77 points.
40:07Well done.
40:08Thank you.
40:08But everyone else has got a lot more than you.
40:10I expect that.
40:13Jamali has 95.
40:14Lee and Mike are joint second with 100.
40:17Sarah, 15 points ahead on 115.
40:19Oh, it's narrowing. It's narrowing.
40:21It's narrowing.
40:22Now we've got a game on.
40:24We do, and in this episode, Lee is on 17 points in the lead.
40:27Ooh!
40:30Rumping ahead.
40:32OK, everybody, make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
40:35APPLAUSE
40:40Lovely big-gloved contestants.
40:42And the wellies.
40:43And the wellies.
40:45Look at Uncle Mike.
40:46Lovely.
40:46Yeah.
40:46That's how I imagine he dresses most days.
40:49Who's going to read the task?
40:50I have it, Captain.
40:51Please.
40:55Make your rubber gloves and wellies as heavy as possible
40:58whilst wearing your rubber gloves and wellies.
41:01You have 90 seconds.
41:03You must only put things in your rubber gloves for the first minute.
41:07You can put stuff in your wellies after the second whistle.
41:10Your 90 seconds start...
41:13WHISTLE BLOWS
41:15SPOONS
41:16SPOONS
41:16SPOONS
41:16MARBLES
41:17GAFFER
41:19You must stay on your spots, as always.
41:24WHISTLE BLOWS
41:25And off they go.
41:32MARBLES
41:33MARBLES
41:33Marbles are out.
41:34MARBLES are really out, yeah.
41:39WHISTLE BLOWS
41:40I can't hear anything anymore.
41:43Pardon?
41:43I can't hear anything anymore.
41:45I did a little joke about hearing.
41:47Really good.
41:48Pardon?
41:49Really good.
41:51THEY WANT
41:52THEY WANT
41:52WHISTLE BLOWS
41:54It's wellies' time.
41:57Vamos lá para wellies.
42:11Em 10 segundos, você deve estar still. 10 segundos.
42:14E aí
42:22PLEASE STAND UP, RELEASE YOUR FINGERS, RELEASE, MICHAEL.
42:26OH!
42:33I think Wozniak has snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.
42:38Right, stay where you are.
42:39We'll weigh all those and we'll see how it's affected the final scores.
42:44Welcome back.
42:46Thanks, mate.
42:47No.
42:48Cobber.
42:48Thanks, Cobber.
42:49OK.
42:51Oh, well, they had different methods and very different results as well.
42:53Some seemed very impressive, but did they stick by the rules?
42:57Well, there was a bucket system engineered up there.
43:01All the men, in fact, gaffed the buckets to their wellies.
43:03Charlotte's wellies and rubber gloves were the lightest, 0.95 kilograms.
43:06And then we have Mike, who had a very heavy one,
43:09but they all fell out at the last second, so he came second last.
43:11Which was delicious.
43:14LAUGHTER
43:141.09 kg, Sarah, 1.12 kg.
43:18Then it's between Jamali and Lee.
43:20Uh-oh.
43:21Jamali, 5.36, Lee, 6.42 in total.
43:25So Charlotte was in last with one,
43:27two to Mike, three to Sarah, four to Jamali, five to Lee.
43:30However, there was one other rule, which was whilst wearing your rubber gloves and wellies.
43:37Right.
43:38Jamali took off his rubber gloves after 18 seconds.
43:42He devised a bucket system, but he then couldn't get into the gaffer tape wearing the rubber gloves.
43:49It was fiddly.
43:50Oh, man.
43:51It feels so cruel.
43:53It's obviously no points, but he invented the bucket system.
43:57I very rarely give out a bonus point, but because you invented the bucket system,
44:00I'm going to give him a bonus point.
44:01Thank you.
44:01Lucky Jamali.
44:03All right.
44:03But Lee Mack wins the task.
44:05There it is.
44:05Thank you.
44:08And so, and so this quartering, it's a familiar face in last place.
44:12Hello, Charlotte.
44:12Hiya.
44:13You've got nine points, but the winner with 22 points is Lee Mack.
44:16Hey!
44:17It happens.
44:18It has to happen eventually.
44:19Lee Mack wins.
44:20Please go and hoard your hangable heirlooms.
44:23Woo!
44:27So what have we learned today?
44:28We've learned, it's been confirmed, that Charlotte Ritchie has a future as a children's
44:32television presenter.
44:33Her first show is called What's the Situation?
44:36And on it, she'll be joined by her two puppet sidekicks, Boing Ganoush.
44:40Only three to go.
44:42For now, let's see tonight's winner, revel in his glory.
44:46It's Lee Mack!
44:48APPLAUSE
45:03And, I hope you won.ửtee
45:07Ander I
45:08enjoyed that film. Bye. Bye.
45:15Bye.
45:17Bye.
45:18Bye.
45:18Bye.
45:21Bye.
45:21Legenda Adriana Zanotto
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