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00:12Transcrição e Legendas por Quintena Coelho
00:31Hello, I'm Greg Davis. Welcome to Taskmaster. Got a job that needs doing? Worried you'll never find anyone to do
00:38it? Perhaps it feels too degrading. Maybe it's a job that doesn't really need doing at all. Well, good news.
00:43I happen to know five people who will do anything for a handful of rice and the chance to win
00:48a trophy that I can tell you from personal experience does not peak interest on eBay. Who are these super
00:54subservient savants? I'll tell you. They're Charlotte Ritchie.
01:00Jamali Maddox. Lee Mack. Mike Rosniak. Sarah Kendall. And next to me, a man who is single-handedly keeping the
01:12plastic slip-on shoe industry alive.
01:15It's Uncle Alex Horne. How are you? No shame. Absolutely weird. They're even more practical than Velcro. I don't know
01:23why you wouldn't wear them. So I'm feeling very nostalgic. Are you?
01:26I was thinking about old holidays and I brought a couple of photos. Are we at the stage where I
01:29can show you holiday photos? Yeah. Yeah? Just a few favourite from my 20s. That's me at the Champs-de
01:35-Lise.
01:36That is actually you. Is that the Champs-de-Lise? The Champs-de-Lise. I took a picture of a
01:39couple of gendarmes. Sometimes they wear roller skates in front. Yeah. That's me in Scotland on Iona, a little stony
01:47promontory. Yeah, it is. Yeah. It's nice, isn't it? And that is genuinely it for this section.
01:51LAUGHTER But it's an old photo thing to show me. Yeah. And I was tipped off just before, so I've,
01:57erm, got one of my family photos to show Alex.
02:02LAUGHTER
02:02So that's nice. LAUGHTER
02:05So now we can get on with the game. Now that we've shared family photos, we can get on with
02:09the game. LAUGHTER
02:11Let's get on with the prize task. Of course. And the category this week is the most annoying thing.
02:21BUZZER
02:21For example. We will award five points to the person who's brought in the most annoying thing, and at the
02:26end of the show, the overall winner will take home five really annoying things and probably feel quite annoyed about
02:31winning.
02:32All right, then. Sarah, annoy me. OK. So I brought in what I found out is called a stud finder.
02:40That's what it looks like, a little machine. Yeah.
02:42You drag it across a wall and it should go beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, means you've got something to
02:48drill into. A beep, beep, means electrics. So don't drill into it.
02:54Ah. Right? OK. And every time I ran it across any surface, it would give me a different result. Every
03:01single time, a different result.
03:02I am annoyed by your description of it. And I'm annoyed by the object. People do find these things annoying.
03:09Nearly all the reviews are things like absolute rubbish, may as well call it a wall detector.
03:13We'll beep for anything, even after recalibration. We'll beep for anything. Yeah. Yeah, it's a piece of shit.
03:18Lee? Can you beat old Bibby? Yes. Um...
03:22I, er, work on a television programme, BBC One, called Not Going Out.
03:28And I asked for a prop where I have to be attacked by my fictional wife by the common weapon
03:35of the yard of Twix.
03:37A yard of Twix. And we've got it here. Yard of Twix. The yard of Twix.
03:40And I got home and I said to the kids, good news, I've got a yard of Twix.
03:46The kids went crazy. Oh, my gosh, this is amazing. They opened it up, but there wasn't a yard of
03:51Twix in there.
03:52There was a piece of wood. Have you got the piece of wood? Uh-huh. That's what was inside.
03:57A solid piece of wood. So, I'm very annoyed because my kids are now crying, they're screaming, they're going crazy.
04:03That's pretty annoying, right? That is annoying. Do you know why Twix is called Twix?
04:07Er, no, I don't, but I'll guess. Two wonderful individual...
04:13You've got it so far.
04:16X-Chac-Lit. No, it's twin biscuits.
04:19Oh, X-Chac-Lit. X-Chac-Lit. X-Chac-Lit. X-Chac-Lit.
04:24Erm, Charlotte, what did you bring in?
04:26For me, the alarm clock is the most annoying item that there is that exists.
04:29So, Charlotte has brought in these alarm clocks. Yes.
04:32I hate them all. They're the most annoying thing.
04:34We can hear the noises if you want. This is what they all sound like together.
04:37And now we're talking, this might make them gen...
04:39PHONE RINGS
04:41PHONE RINGS
04:45PHONE RINGS
04:47PHONE RINGS
04:51It's just the fact that I'm being woken up.
04:53So, you're bringing in the concept of being woken up?
04:55Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, the concept of sort of time endlessly going on
04:58and having to continually wake up.
05:00LAUGHTER
05:02OK. Happy with that, Craig?
05:03Yeah, sort of.
05:05Erm, Jamali, what have you brought in?
05:06Er, kids face paint.
05:07Red, white and blue today, this is what he's brought in.
05:10I'm fully on board with you about this, but I just want to clarify what your reasons are for disliking
05:15face paint.
05:16Is it you don't like having your face painted or you don't like children drawing attention to themselves?
05:22All of it. All of it.
05:22I've got two nieces who I'm very fond of, but when they come up and go,
05:25look, I'm a tiger, I've had my face painted.
05:27Yeah, it's jarring, isn't it?
05:28Couldn't give a shit.
05:29And it's never done...
05:30They never actually look like the thing, really.
05:33Like, I've got a little cousin, and he's like, oh, look, yeah, I'm a lion, and it was blue,
05:36and it really pissed me off.
05:37It would annoy me.
05:38Yeah, it really pissed me off.
05:38A blue light.
05:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:41Michael.
05:42I've brought in a symbolic nipple.
05:45Here is your symbolic nipple.
05:47This is because I've got a oral fixation.
05:51Pop psychology-wise would suggest that this began with the nipple.
05:55Unless I'm very, very, very heavily distracted,
05:59I either have something in my mouth or I'm thinking about what I could put in my mouth.
06:04Here, food, drink, nicotine gum, pens.
06:08Are you thinking of something right now to put in your mouth?
06:10I am, yeah.
06:11What do you want to put in your mouth now?
06:12I want to put in something minty.
06:15LAUGHTER
06:16So, if I put my...
06:17If I walk past you with my thumb like this, you'd be on it.
06:19I'd be on it.
06:20I'd be on it, I guess.
06:20Yeah, OK.
06:21Like a rat up a kilt.
06:23LAUGHTER
06:25And all that quaint old Scottish saying.
06:28LAUGHTER
06:29OK.
06:30Judgment time.
06:31In terms of objects.
06:32Yes.
06:32It's party time for Charlotte because she's not in last place.
06:35Woo!
06:35Because I didn't find Lee's twixplank in the slightest bit annoying.
06:39One point to Lee.
06:40The alarm clocks.
06:41You've got to get up.
06:42You can't be suspended in time.
06:44You're a busy actress.
06:45Pull yourself together.
06:46Two points.
06:47I've all done normal tally.
06:48Come on, Charlotte.
06:50I found Mike's nipple charming.
06:53Three points.
06:54This is best you'll get from me.
06:56Here we go, then.
06:57Sarah.
06:57You double-layered it.
06:58You were annoying.
06:59It's annoying.
07:00Four points.
07:01But because of a shared dislike of children being free to express themselves,
07:09Jamali takes five sweet points.
07:11Well done, Jamali.
07:12Thank you so much.
07:15Right, on with the first task proper, please, Alex.
07:18Right, you are.
07:19And this one might just take the wind out of someone's sails.
07:23Ooh.
07:36Have a seat.
07:37Welcome on board.
07:38Thank you, Alex.
07:39Hello.
07:47Fart.
07:48Fartest winds.
07:49Your time starts now.
07:58Not a lot going on at the moment.
08:00Have you tried yet?
08:01At the moment, there's no gas in the tank, so to speak.
08:06Is there any way of putting gas in the tank?
08:08Well, I wonder.
08:09There was a guy in primary school.
08:11I think he used to have various brewing positions.
08:13He used to sway away.
08:14A lot of them involve sort of, sort of, kind of, positioning yourself like this.
08:19And so on.
08:21Because maybe there wasn't the gas in the...
08:24Let's see if we can encourage it to go the other way.
08:29Try and massage the inner...the inner mic.
08:38I didn't know you could do this.
08:39Neither did I.
08:40I'm going to leave you to it for the moment.
08:43You carry on.
08:44Yeah.
08:44We're now in a different season.
08:51Great.
08:52Well, occasionally in this show, we have set tasks just to one solitary person.
08:56And you thought you'd answer your mic fast.
08:58Do you know what bugs me about this task?
09:00I've always got one in the bank ready to go.
09:04You can't just summon that bad boy up, no?
09:06I mean, it's a frequent event, absolutely.
09:09But it's not, I mean, I don't have the Sarah Kendall,
09:12now it's, you know, tick-tock, it's fart o'clock.
09:16It's the mercy of, you know, of internal happenings.
09:19Yeah.
09:19So we will keep an eye on his fart brewing throughout the episode.
09:22Oh, good. There's more to come, yeah?
09:24Well, he hasn't farted yet.
09:25Is there a task that everybody can take part in,
09:28as well as farty-party Mike?
09:30There is.
09:30And, coincidentally, this one is a little bit arty-farty.
09:33Here we go.
09:50Hello, Jamali.
09:51Hey.
09:53How was it in there?
09:54It's nice, it's actually not a bad caravan.
09:56Good luck with this.
09:57Thank you.
09:59Should I?
09:59Yes, please.
10:01Hmm.
10:03Make the best portrait of the taskmaster on this door,
10:06only using your feet.
10:08You have ten minutes.
10:09Hang on, using only your feet,
10:11does that mean getting the lids off as well?
10:13Oh, all the information's on the task.
10:18Your time starts now.
10:20All right.
10:22Back and pick this up?
10:23With your feet?
10:24Oh, I'd have to use my feet to pick this up.
10:26It's up to you how you interpret it.
10:28Can I take my shoes off?
10:30I mean, I'm not taking my shoes off for anybody.
10:32All right.
10:42Oh, my God.
10:45My bad.
10:47All right.
10:48When you stamped on the paint with all your might,
10:51you seemed surprised that you blowed out the caravan.
10:55Yeah, I didn't figure a shoe out that much.
10:57Do you know what I wrote down?
11:01Is your bathroom covered in toothpaste?
11:04I bet your mum never says,
11:06Jamali, could you help me get the lid off this jam?
11:09There's too many walls ruined.
11:12Let's see some of the responses to this task.
11:14OK, well, it's a simple task.
11:15Paint a picture, but the twist is you have to use your feet.
11:18That's the task.
11:19Paint a picture, but with your feet.
11:21OK? Simple as that.
11:22No hidden catch.
11:23Your feet, as was clearly stated on the task.
11:26So, anyway, here is Lee Mack all by himself.
11:30What colour shoes does he usually wear, Greg?
11:32Black.
11:32There's no black?
11:33No.
11:34What's the nearest colour to black?
11:36White.
11:37No, that's the opposite of black.
11:42Why are you putting on the top of your feet?
11:44Because I'm going to slide.
11:47Ooh, hello.
11:54What colour trousers does Greg usually wear?
11:56Black.
11:57You haven't got any black, have you?
11:58No.
12:00Ah.
12:00Wait a minute.
12:01Could you squirt red from the waist down,
12:04covering the complete back?
12:05Just the trousers.
12:06Are you doing it?
12:07Yes.
12:07Is it nicely covered?
12:09Yeah.
12:12OK, here we go.
12:14Going back now.
12:15Ooh!
12:15Not as young as I was.
12:17No!
12:21What does he wear on top, is he?
12:22A black jacket.
12:23Let's go orange again, then.
12:26OK.
12:26I think he'll be pleased with me.
12:27Right.
12:28I think I've done well.
12:30Alex, would you come and pick the door up, please?
12:32OK, make sure that the level of that is level with the top of the tray.
12:35Yes.
12:36Is it?
12:37It's the level of the top of the...
12:38Yes.
12:39Yes, we'll do it, then.
12:40Quick!
12:40Oh!
12:42Oh, gosh.
12:43Lift it up!
12:44Please.
12:44Please lift it up now!
12:48Did this wash off, this paint?
12:51Did that all right?
12:52Yep.
13:00Yes.
13:01Ta-da!
13:02Finished?
13:03Yeah.
13:04WHISTLE BLOWS
13:04Thank you, Lee.
13:10Wow.
13:12Well, your view of me is that I am you with a bigger belly.
13:16If you're not counting talent, yeah, it looks, yeah.
13:20Very nice.
13:21This is his picture of you.
13:22It's a pretty good painting, I think, as a piece of art.
13:25And nature has taken care of forming my penis, I see.
13:29What a shame that you didn't adhere to any of the rules.
13:31No, I did.
13:32And it doesn't look like me in the slightest.
13:33I did adhere to the rules, cos I only used my feet.
13:35He put it onto my back, didn't he?
13:37And I used my feet to sort of rock it onto my back.
13:39About the legs.
13:40I didn't...what?
13:41The legs and the hands.
13:42Yeah, but where do the feet end?
13:45You said this is all foot.
13:46It's a grey area, isn't it?
13:47Where do the feet end and the hands start?
13:51Here's how the rest of them got on in a very moving montage.
13:56Erm, so what does Greg look like?
13:58It's the eyebrows.
14:00That's the K to it, isn't it?
14:01Do I get a picture for reference?
14:03OK.
14:04I've got a horrible feeling I might have misinterpreted the instructions already early doors,
14:07but I'm a follower of rules.
14:14Right.
14:15Thank you.
14:15That's, as a shape, very helpful reference-wise in terms of this door.
14:19Thank you, cos...
14:20Especially considering that's black and white and stuff,
14:22like, it's good cos you wouldn't want to make it too easy.
14:24Are you really cross?
14:25No.
14:26LAUGHTER
14:31I'm mixing it with the white.
14:35Oh!
14:37I've got all my glasses.
14:43So I've got the base down.
14:46That's, er...
14:47Oh, that's very Greg.
14:48O que é isso?
14:51O que é isso?
14:53O que é isso?
14:54É tudo na jawline, não é?
14:57E fazendo a quadra.
15:02Eu estou interpretando isso em termos, como...
15:05...abstruct.
15:07Olha só o cara lá.
15:09Oh, boy.
15:13Gorgeous.
15:15Ok.
15:16Can't remember what colour his eyes are.
15:18They look nice, don't they?
15:20There we go.
15:24Oh, yeah.
15:26You're drowning those eyes.
15:27What else goes on ahead?
15:29Eyes, eyebrows, ears...
15:33The hair is a mixture of...
15:35There's a bit of grey in there, isn't there?
15:37With the greatest of respect.
15:38I've given him a sort of provincial purple rinse.
15:41Some lips.
15:47Let's give him a little pirate earring.
15:52And what's the blue?
15:53It's his aura.
15:57That wasn't the plan.
16:02Hopefully, I'll give him some stripy thorax.
16:08Oh!
16:10Yeah.
16:14What is that bit?
16:15A tree.
16:16You sit under a tree.
16:17Thinking of tasks and shit.
16:19Oh, God, he has no bloody nose, either.
16:24Thank you, SK.
16:26OK.
16:27Thank you, Mike.
16:27Let's serve out the caravan.
16:29It's not just the caravan in the end, but thank you.
16:34Lovely.
16:35Well, there's two quotes from the Taskmaster quote book straight away.
16:39The idea of me sitting under a tree thinking of tasks and shit.
16:43And, of course, Sarah's classic, what else goes on ahead?
16:49Jamali, it looks like you misread the task and you thought it said,
16:53do a picture of Greg after his house has been hit by a drone strike.
16:59It's abstract, isn't it?
17:00You know that art, like, when they put, like, a blob on a wall and they go,
17:04what?
17:04That's what I was doing for you, you know?
17:06Yeah.
17:07I enjoyed Charlotte's ongoing campaign to get a job as a children's TV presenter.
17:11It's non-stop.
17:12Yeah.
17:12My career might be over from this, but not my career as a children's TV presenter.
17:16No way, not with those moves.
17:17I can't wait.
17:17Well, she said they were year six disco moves.
17:19Did I say that?
17:20I was, that was honestly my peak.
17:23Can we see them?
17:24Yeah.
17:24We should still talk about them afterwards.
17:25Sure.
17:26Well, shall we start with Charlotte's picture?
17:27Yeah.
17:27Yeah.
17:28I mean, that...
17:29OK.
17:29That is straight onto CBeebies, isn't it?
17:32That's lovely, isn't it?
17:32Yeah, you can see the animation now.
17:34That looks less like me than Lee Mack's picture of himself.
17:38I disagree.
17:39The specifics is that you're standing on a glass floor and that you can see your footprints
17:45and you're, like, leaning over and it's a rippling reflection.
17:48Oh, I see.
17:49Now you've put it in context.
17:50Yeah, now you get it.
17:51It does look like me.
17:52So, from the point of view of a fish under a glass-bottomed disco boat?
17:56Yes!
17:56Oh, yeah.
17:57Shall I show you Mike's?
17:58Yeah.
17:59So, bear in mind, he said, he's trying to represent the sternness in the eyebrows, kissable lips,
18:03not an unattractive man.
18:05LAUGHTER
18:07That's terrifying.
18:08I'm amazed, because when he was squeezing the paint out with his feet, it's like a passion,
18:13it's like he was giving birth.
18:15But I thought, this is going to be amazing, the distinctive eyebrows, here we go.
18:18I mean, what's that?
18:19Yeah, that's the bottom line, it's the arts and crafts, there's no, there's no skill there.
18:23He said, you're going to a party, that's why you're wearing your bow tie and your special red party trousers.
18:28LAUGHTER
18:30Well, Sarah said, this is a piece of piss, there's his little piggy nose, and she did this.
18:35Ooh!
18:36LAUGHTER
18:37Wow, that's not bad.
18:38A really mean baby.
18:40There's a look of me there.
18:42Why did you pop the earring in?
18:44I thought you had an earring.
18:45LAUGHTER
18:46I thought you had a large, hooked earring.
18:49LAUGHTER
18:49One more to see.
18:50Jamali said, it was so good you could take it to a gallery and sell this shit, here it is.
18:55LAUGHTER
18:57Energy.
18:57I like that.
18:58Oh, God.
18:59It's what it represents, it's not what it is, you know?
19:02And what does it represent?
19:03Below there, your blue aura, which represents your sort of, like, masculinity,
19:07and then you've got sort of, like, it melds in with the sort of reds,
19:11which represents the passion you have for this game show.
19:14And then you've got the green as well, which represents your love of nature.
19:17I mean, God, I'm so easily led, I quite like it as a picture.
19:21You've got to rate these five pictures of yourself.
19:25Oh, Lee's is a wonderful work of art.
19:27But, unfortunately, you didn't paint it with your feet.
19:30He gets a point out of it.
19:31Oh.
19:32OK.
19:32So, one point to Lee Mac.
19:33Now, let's all guess who's going to get two points.
19:36It's got to be the It Clown.
19:38Of course, it was the actual rubbish clown.
19:40Two points.
19:41Children's TV presenter.
19:42Three points.
19:43Steady three.
19:43Well done, Charlotte.
19:44The question is, is it the baby genie that takes four points,
19:47or am I going to give five points to Jamali's Madness?
19:51Genuinely, hand on heart, if I wanted people to see an artistic representation
19:55of me, I would choose Jamali's.
19:57Five points.
19:58Fair.
19:59Come on, Madness.
20:00Five points!
20:03Have you got a scoreboard, please?
20:05I do have a scoreboard.
20:07Lee is not having a lovely episode.
20:09Oh, no.
20:09He's on two points.
20:10Oh, no.
20:11I'm having a disaster.
20:12At the other end, Jamali Maddox is on ten points,
20:14and he's in second place in the series.
20:16Well done, Jamali.
20:17What?!
20:17This is like...
20:18OK.
20:19What's next, Alex?
20:21Well, it's a naughty, naughty team task.
20:42Hi, team.
20:43Hi, Al.
20:44Wow.
20:45Really cool.
20:46Yeah, my one don't fit.
20:48Oh, I can see that.
20:49Want to read it?
20:50Yeah, you can read it.
20:50Are you sure?
20:51Yeah, nice.
20:53Vandalise this wall.
20:55Most creative vandalism wins.
20:57You have 20 minutes.
20:58Your time starts now.
21:00Right, let's jack it off for this.
21:03The possibilities are endless.
21:05The canvas vast.
21:06What will they do?
21:08But is it time for a windbreak?
21:10Oh, mate.
21:25We are now one and a half hours into Mike's attempt.
21:28The crew had gone to lunch.
21:30Here's how the two teams did,
21:31trying to achieve the most creative vandalism of our wall.
21:35So, yeah.
21:35Have you got a tag?
21:36A sweet tag?
21:37What's the tag?
21:38Tag, the graffiti, this sort of signature.
21:40Oh, your signature?
21:41Yeah.
21:42Whoa!
21:43Is it cool if I just start fucking it up?
21:45What about do Alex?
21:46We'll draw Alex.
21:47We know a bank to use as a stencil.
21:49Would you be willing to put a mask on and let us spray you
21:51to get the outline of your body?
21:53I've got an idea.
21:54Oh!
21:55Oh, wow.
21:57Look at you.
21:57Sweet as a peach.
21:58Thank you.
21:59Well, we're going to use you as a stencil.
22:00Is it all right?
22:03No, that's just my own amusement.
22:10Close, eh?
22:12This one.
22:13Oh, all right.
22:15Can we set some fire?
22:17Can we get a blowtorch, please?
22:20The blowtorch is...
22:23I like that.
22:24Bad, isn't it?
22:25I think your yellow's good.
22:26If you want to fill in these gaps with yellow,
22:28I think your yellows are more...
22:30Preston.
22:38I've got a pleasure, that.
22:39Very nice.
22:40All right, his name,
22:41and then someone offensive at the bottom.
22:43All right.
22:45CHEERING
22:54I know.
22:55What about this?
22:55Alex Horne is A,
22:57and then we don't put anything,
22:59and we let the passers-by
23:02creatively add to it.
23:08Oh!
23:09Oh, my God!
23:10Epic!
23:11Yeah, it hit me in the dig.
23:12Nice, that.
23:14Thank you, team.
23:15Thank you.
23:15It's my first graffiti.
23:18Done it.
23:19OK, you can go away now.
23:21Thanks.
23:22We've got to go before the fuzz get here.
23:24Whoop, whoop!
23:25You're fine.
23:27Wow.
23:29Talk me through your two-man system.
23:32We just sort of started,
23:34the stencil idea appeared,
23:35and then we were away.
23:36We were just channelling after that.
23:38So I became Banksy's girl with balloon.
23:41Yeah.
23:42United Kingdom's number one favourite artwork voted recently.
23:45Can I just point out,
23:46it was Mike that wrote Street Tuff and not me.
23:48I want to disown myself.
23:50Street Tuff!
23:50Street Tuff!
23:51That's not me.
23:53That's my sweet tag.
23:54Yeah.
23:55What I like about it is,
23:56it's colourful and it pleases the eye,
23:58and it also tells you so much about the man that did it.
24:02Well, do you want to compare that to the team of threes?
24:04Yeah.
24:04Come on, let's see that.
24:05What they did.
24:06Oh, that's...
24:07That's good.
24:08You went properly Lord of the Flies, that team did.
24:11That's good.
24:12Cos I think vandalism is true destruction of state and property,
24:15innit?
24:16So that's what we went for.
24:17And is this your slogan?
24:19Is it OK for me to start fucking it up?
24:21Yeah, cos it's...
24:22It's...
24:22It's pure utter destruction with politeness.
24:25Yeah.
24:26And the politeness was taken care of by Charlotte.
24:30Guess who?
24:30Who, once she'd knocked a paint-covered ball into your penis,
24:34went, epic!
24:38Didn't it feel horrid when I said that?
24:40So horrible.
24:41And then he said, no, because...
24:44Yeah, yeah.
24:44And it wasn't like TV, oh, no, it hit my dick.
24:47No, it hit me straight in the dick.
24:48Yeah, actually what followed was minutes of pain.
24:50It was horrible, yeah.
24:51I don't think I can conceptualise what that feels like,
24:53but I'm sorry.
24:55It's not cool.
24:56I feel that if you're going to vandalise something,
24:58it has to be...
24:58I mean, what you guys did was vandalism to the point of
25:01they're going to repair that within 24 hours,
25:02cos that's just unsightly,
25:03whereas ours, they might go, is it art? Is it vandalism?
25:06Let's keep it up.
25:07Yeah.
25:07So our vandalism makes more of a statement for longer.
25:09A bit more Banksy.
25:09Yeah, like Banksy.
25:10You went far more Banksy.
25:12It's going to be on T-shirts, that thing.
25:13There was only one piece of creative vandalism up there,
25:15and it was these two tragic middle-aged men.
25:19And I'm going to give them five sweet points each.
25:22Whoa!
25:22He's as-bos.
25:24I'm only giving you this one point
25:26because Charlotte shouted epic during it.
25:29So one point to Sarah, one to Jamali, one to Charlotte,
25:32five to the naughty, creative middle-aged men.
25:35Yes, please.
25:37All right, one more, please, Alex.
25:39Of course, and this really is a first-class task.
25:57Hey.
25:58Oh, hi there, Sarah.
25:59Hello.
25:59Hey, how's it going?
26:02Welcome to first-class.
26:04Hello, Lee.
26:08Ooh.
26:11I'm not used to this.
26:13It's worth the money, isn't it?
26:16Identify the contents of the batter's items
26:18in this fish and chips order.
26:21You may lick and sniff all of the items.
26:25Oh, my goodness.
26:26You may bite into two.
26:27You may squeeze one between your elbows.
26:31Between your elbows.
26:32You may really stamp on one.
26:33Really stamp.
26:34Really stamp.
26:35Really stamp on one.
26:37You may stamp on one.
26:38Oh, you've got to really stamp on it.
26:40All right.
26:40You may look at one for a magnifying glass.
26:43You may put one in a glass of water.
26:46Most correctly identified items wins.
26:48You have ten minutes.
26:49Your time starts now.
26:50OK.
26:52Um...
26:53Side note, I think I can manage my previous challenge.
26:56I'm going to scare it off.
26:56On the stamping mat?
26:57On the stamping mat.
26:58Oh, no.
26:59I've scared it off.
27:00I've scared it off.
27:03I'm too big for my boots.
27:04And I announced it.
27:08I've scared it off.
27:09It's just going to wind my neck in sometimes.
27:13Might help your father in that.
27:15Yeah.
27:16Right.
27:16Pretty clear what we've got to do here.
27:18OK.
27:18Well, we're going to see Mike again and also Sarah Kendall.
27:26Smells of batter.
27:27Oh.
27:28Smells of batter.
27:30Smells of batter.
27:34Well, I can definitely smell batter.
27:37That taste of batter.
27:39A fine lick.
27:41To sense something with your tongue.
27:44I mean, it's tempting to sort of stamp on one a bit.
27:47Not really stamp on it.
27:48Just sort of, you know.
27:52Why aren't you letting us see you're licking?
27:54What?
27:55Oh, you lick that one hard.
27:57That's great.
27:58That was just one big lick, was it?
28:00Yeah.
28:01I'm going to stamp on you.
28:03Really stamp on it, please.
28:04So I'm going to stamp on...
28:05Really stamp.
28:06Really stamp.
28:07Really stamp.
28:07OK, this one.
28:12Well, I really stamped on that.
28:14Egg.
28:16Oh, you prick.
28:18I think it's a boiled egg.
28:19Oh.
28:19Yeah.
28:21Yeah, it's...
28:24Naked elbows or...
28:26I mean, bare elbows or what we're talking?
28:30Oh.
28:32Hello.
28:33Hello.
28:33Is that a kiwi fruit?
28:35It's a kiwi fruit.
28:36It's a jam donut.
28:38Can I lick that?
28:41Oh, no.
28:42Maybe it's a jam tart.
28:45Jammy donut.
28:52It's a kiwi fruit.
28:56It's a kiwi fruit.
28:58Oh, oh, oh.
29:04Oh, my God.
29:06What the hell is that?
29:08Hang on, that's a...
29:11Wallet?
29:12Oh, my God.
29:14It's a wallet.
29:15It's a wallet.
29:16It's a wallet.
29:18It's a wallet.
29:20Oh.
29:22That is the worst smell that I have ever.
29:26Is it?
29:27I don't want to see any identifying features.
29:31I think this might just be a clump of batter.
29:39It doesn't reveal much.
29:41Mmm, I see your method.
29:43Mmm, I'm just putting it in the water.
29:44Just like it says in the rules.
29:50The horrible thing, this is just batter.
29:53And this is, erm, an uninflated balloon.
30:02That smell inside the wallet, I don't know how that smell was achieved.
30:05I've never smelled anything worse.
30:07I found it fascinating that you said that, the most disgusting smell,
30:10and then went back in for a second smell.
30:11Oh, repeatedly.
30:12I was there for about 15 minutes.
30:13Quite a contrast between the two reactions.
30:17Didn't seem to bother you at all.
30:18I've eaten worse.
30:19It's worth pointing out to anyone who doesn't know that Mike
30:21used to be a doctor, and you had all of the gravitas of a doctor
30:25whilst dropping batter in and out of a pint glass.
30:27That was the old trick back in the day.
30:29Yeah.
30:30Until they flushed me out.
30:31Fair enough.
30:32I think Mike was a bit confused.
30:34When he found the wallet, he thought everything else would be inedible
30:36as well, so he found three and a half things correctly.
30:39Right.
30:40Out of the six.
30:41Sarah did better.
30:42What do you want to say about her licking technique?
30:44You were only meant to lick them, and she inserted her tongue
30:47and sort of ripped the batter off it with her tongue.
30:50I didn't rip the batter off it with my tongue.
30:51Well, you licked it aggressively.
30:52I licked it hard.
30:53You inserted your tongue.
30:55She pushed her tongue through the batter?
30:57Yes, to reveal the grape.
30:59In a licking motion?
31:00Well, she turned her back on us.
31:02Because I didn't want that on film, but I lifted a little bit
31:05of batter off whilst licking, so I did hook my tongue
31:08under a little bit of batter to...
31:10But that was still in a licking motion.
31:11Have you got quite a sort of rough sandpaper tongue?
31:13I do, like a cat.
31:14Hmm.
31:14I'm going to let her get away with her aggressive grape lick.
31:17OK.
31:18Well, in that case, she got five out of six.
31:19She didn't correctly identify the pie.
31:21OK.
31:22Who's next?
31:23Well, it's time to see Lee Mac and Cheese and Charlotte Rich Tea.
31:31Batter.
31:32Yeah.
31:32That's batter one.
31:34That, to me, looks like a lemon.
31:39OK.
31:39Didn't help me at all.
31:40That sold me nothing.
31:41So, let's try biting into two.
31:47I'd call that the non-vegan egg.
31:50I'm going to bite into this one, which feels like such a bad move,
31:53but also I sort of hope it's a brownie.
31:55If it's supposed to be like a bit of leather or something,
31:58I don't think you'd do that.
31:59It would be...
32:00OK.
32:07Right.
32:11It's a wallet.
32:15That's a wallet, you weirdo.
32:19It's a wallet.
32:20So, did you get the message that I'm a vegan?
32:21Yeah, yeah, I've got a message that you're vegan.
32:23It's just egg and a leather wallet.
32:27Oh, God.
32:29Kiwi.
32:30Delicious?
32:31No.
32:32I just got, like, scraps of hair from the outside of it.
32:38I'm going to go for jam.
32:39Scrawny, but sharp.
32:42Oh, an egg.
32:43Oh, my God.
32:47Oh, that's so unhelpful.
32:49You've got to really stamp on it.
32:51I am really doing it.
32:52It's not an illusion.
32:53Well, that's the kiwi fruit, that.
32:57I think that's just batter.
32:59Batter deep-fried in batter.
33:01What's the point of that?
33:02Why didn't you say, you can just look really closely?
33:06Oh.
33:09Shame.
33:09I said, why don't I eat that?
33:10And I'm going banana.
33:12What are you?
33:17Oh, no.
33:19Oh.
33:22You're licking it, are you? Internally?
33:24You can lick internally, as long as you don't bite it.
33:26Look, it's all solid.
33:26Mm-hm.
33:28I'm going to say that's a lemon as well.
33:30Two lemons in the end.
33:31I'm going to say an eraser.
33:32An eraser.
33:33Yeah.
33:34Eraser.
33:35Oh, eraser.
33:36Yeah.
33:37So, a razor blade.
33:38Oh, no.
33:38No.
33:39Eraser like a rubber.
33:41Eraser.
33:42Eraser?
33:43Yeah.
33:44Lychee.
33:46Thank you, Lee.
33:47You're welcome.
33:52We did know that he was a vegan, right?
33:54Yes.
33:55I should take some responsibility here.
33:57I thought wallets would be all right.
33:59Yeah, because they're famously nothing to do with animals, are they?
34:02Leather wallets.
34:03Seems unlikely that an animal could be a leather wallet.
34:09He puts up a strong argument.
34:13I do need to say it wasn't a leather wallet, it was a plastic wallet.
34:15I mean, egg's clearly not vegan.
34:17Are you responsible for this?
34:20I'm so sorry, Lee, about making you eat those foods.
34:23I was...
34:23Listen, I'm 99% that I'm not the full vegan yet, because I keep...
34:27I'll lick a wallet.
34:29Charlotte, you were totally on it.
34:31You weren't vaguely phased out by biting into a wallet?
34:34No.
34:35I did say, I think, there's no way it could be leather,
34:38and then bit immediately into leather.
34:39So I thought it was quite like a premonition.
34:41She did well, except for thinking we'd hidden two lemons in them
34:44for some reason.
34:45So she got four out of six.
34:47Lee got kiwi, egg, wallet.
34:49There was no jam, lychee or banana.
34:51So he got three out of six.
34:53Could be worse.
34:53Hey, Mike.
35:07Hello.
35:07The plane has been booked by someone else now.
35:10You have to leave the plane.
35:11Badly.
35:12I feel ashamed.
35:13Sorry.
35:14Still time.
35:15I'll keep working on it.
35:17Never has a nation been so gripped
35:19by one man's battle with his bowels.
35:21Will he succeed?
35:22Is this what will make Mike Wozniak a household name?
35:25Will his efforts bring our broken nation back together?
35:28Only time will tell.
35:29But for now, there's a task to complete.
35:31Yes, there is.
35:32We've seen everyone assault our battering, bar one.
35:35And his name is Jamali.
35:38I'm going to stamp on this one.
35:39You have to really stamp on it, Jamali.
35:49A wallet?
35:51Oh, it's got a receipt.
35:52It's a wallet with a receipt.
35:54Oh, here we go.
35:55So, in the batter, there's an apple and blackberry pie,
35:59a boiled egg, kiwi food, a great individual on the yelling.
36:04That's what's in all of these.
36:05There's one extra item, I think, there.
36:07Batter.
36:08Oh.
36:09In the batter?
36:10Yeah.
36:10It's batter in the batter.
36:11Thank you, Jamali.
36:12All right.
36:13All right, then.
36:14Oh!
36:16Oh, my!
36:18That is incredible.
36:20Absolutely knocked it out of the park.
36:22I've been pretending I've never seen this show.
36:23I'm a big fan of the show.
36:26This is where you reveal yourself.
36:27This is where I revealed I'm actually a huge fan of the show.
36:30Did you think that was the task, to just open the wallet and then crack on?
36:32I realise I found the shortcut, but it's just, like, if I see a wallet,
36:36if I see something, I just feel to open it,
36:38because I feel like there's going to be some message inside.
36:41Amazing gameplay.
36:42He just takes it.
36:42Jamali gets the full five points.
36:44Sarah came next.
36:45She gets four.
36:46Charlotte, three.
36:47Mike, two.
36:48Lee, just the one.
36:50But mainly, it's five points to Jamali Maddox.
36:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:55At this stage, we normally do the final task,
36:57but do you want to have one last mic check?
36:59Oh, a little farty-party.
37:00Yeah.
37:01Here we go.
37:03You can go and clean yourself up if you want.
37:05Thanks, Alex.
37:05Anything else you're able to do at this stage?
37:09Well, in fact, I mean, maybe if I have a moment,
37:12it could, it could, it could, it could be that something happens.
37:16I mean, it must be possible, right?
37:18It all changed. It all changed.
37:23It all changed.
37:23No exact, some real effort.
37:34It was a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny little pop.
37:37I've stopped the pop.
37:39Wow.
37:40I'm very satisfying.
37:41Yeah, quite a long wait for that.
37:42And I think I probably need to check myself.
37:44Anyway, so I'll see you later.
37:46LAUGHTER
37:49Please tell me you've got a sound effect on it.
37:51Is that the genuine noise?
37:52That's the genuine noise.
37:53That's the...
37:54It's one of the worst things I've ever heard in my life.
37:56I can talk you through what I think happened, if you want.
37:59Well, it's not pleasant.
38:00I don't need you to, cos you've clearly shat yourself.
38:03LAUGHTER
38:04That's what I thought.
38:06There was the passage of air, so I had...
38:10Like, the flatus had gone through.
38:11Task, tick.
38:12What, in fact, I had done is I'd dislodged a hemorrhoid
38:17that had been...
38:17LAUGHTER
38:18Oh, God.
38:20Oh, my God.
38:20That's what you're hearing.
38:22Oh, God.
38:22You're hearing that moving through my anal canal.
38:25LAUGHTER
38:27That's a hemorrhoid popping out?
38:29And back out into the outside in full bloom.
38:32LAUGHTER
38:32It's still flapping about to this day.
38:35It's still loose.
38:36Oh, it's an absolute casserole down there.
38:38LAUGHTER
38:39Oh, my God.
38:45Oh, my God.
38:48But you get a task, you do the task.
38:52LAUGHTER
38:53No matter the price.
38:54Oh, my God.
38:55But also, Greg, when he does it,
38:56you must have been aware something had come out,
38:57but you still were so happy that you'd achieved the task.
38:59His little face, please.
39:01Just have a look at his little face.
39:02Let's have a look.
39:04LAUGHTER
39:07It's so counterintuitive, isn't it?
39:09Because in any other situation, you'd go,
39:10I hope no-one heard that.
39:12And it's the complete opposite.
39:13Did you get it?
39:15LAUGHTER
39:15Um, Greg, do you want to give him a point at all?
39:18Gee, we've got to give him something.
39:19I mean, his family aren't staying around after that.
39:21LAUGHTER
39:21No-one's going to begrudge him a bonus point.
39:23How many were we giving him?
39:24No.
39:25Just one.
39:25One, OK.
39:26One hemorrhoid is close.
39:27OK, so one hemorrhoid and one point to Mike Wozniak.
39:30Yeah.
39:30Thank you.
39:32Right, let's have a glance at the scores.
39:34OK.
39:34As if anything matters any more.
39:36LAUGHTER
39:36In terms of the series, that point, I think he will agree,
39:39was worth it.
39:40Mike's now in second place.
39:42Wow.
39:42We've got Sarah on 103.
39:43Mike on 84.
39:44Jamali, 83.
39:45Lee slipped back into second last with 78.
39:47Charlotte on 67!
39:49Hey!
39:50APPLAUSE
39:52In this episode, we have joint second place.
39:54That's Sarah and Mike with 13, but the leader is Jamali.
39:58He's not won an episode yet, but he's on 16 points!
40:00Romp in the head.
40:01APPLAUSE
40:01All right, everyone, please make your way to the stage
40:04for the final task of the show!
40:11Hi, everyone.
40:12Who's going to read it?
40:13I'd like Jamali Maddox to read the task, please.
40:15Very good.
40:17Tie the very ends of the string to the arms of the glasses,
40:22then put the glasses on.
40:24Fastest wins.
40:25Simple task.
40:26You've got a padlock there with four numbers.
40:28You've got to crack the code.
40:29Good luck.
40:30So it's Fastest wins.
40:31Your time starts.
40:32WHISTLE BLOWS
40:40The taskmaster may give you a clue.
40:43Could you give us a clue, please, taskmaster?
40:45M-C-M-L-X-V-I-I-I.
40:51He loves his Roman numerals.
40:52Always has done.
40:54Hey, can you put that on a sum for me, Greg?
40:56Certainly.
40:58123 times 16.
41:00Oh.
41:00Is that real or were you joking?
41:03123 times 16.
41:04Just double it.
41:05Double it.
41:05Double it and double it again.
41:06Oh, shut up.
41:07What? Pardon?
41:08Double it and double it and double it again.
41:09If you want.
41:10123 times 16.
41:12Yep.
41:13What's your favourite film, Greg?
41:14Planet of the Apes.
41:16I remember the year when that was released.
41:18What year was it released?
41:20Say the 123 times...
41:23Time 16.
41:24123 times 16.
41:25123 times 16.
41:27Year I was born.
41:32The year you were born?
41:37You were born the same year as Lee, weren't you?
41:39I was.
41:39That was handy.
41:43I don't know how to do maths.
41:52I'm 52.
41:53So, let's go back.
41:5522.
41:56Only two people have opened their boxes.
41:58Well, I can't remember the end now.
42:00Is that the end?
42:02Yes, we have one completed person.
42:04APPLAUSE
42:17Oh, no.
42:19Oh, it's a violence.
42:20You broke it.
42:21It's off.
42:22It's off.
42:22Wow.
42:23Right, can you finish the task?
42:25Do you think so?
42:31The very ends of the string, please.
42:33O que é isso?
42:34O que é isso?
42:35O que é isso?
42:38É muito interessante aqui.
42:40É Charlotte versus Jamali.
42:42É quem pode encontrar o outro lado.
42:43O que é isso?
42:44Você tem um favor, gente.
42:50O que é isso?
42:53E nós temos cinco completos.
42:56Points para todos.
42:58Vamos lá.
42:59Vamos ver se que isso tem feito a final score.
43:01A CIDADE NO BRASIL
43:05A CIDADE NO BRASIL
43:07A CIDADE NO BRASIL
43:08E a CIDADE NO BRASIL
43:08E a LEMACA
43:10E a LEMACA
43:10E a LEMACA
43:10A LEMACA
43:12A LEMACA
43:12A LEMACA
43:13A LEMACA
43:23A LEMACA
43:27A LEMACA
43:28A LEMACA
43:38A LEMACA
43:41A LEMACA
43:53A LEMACA
43:58A LEMACA
44:01A LEMACA
44:01A LEMACA
44:10A LEMACA
44:16A LEMACA
44:19A LEMACA
44:19A LEMACA
44:31A LEMACA
44:32A LEMACA
44:33DIVAS
44:49A LEMACA
44:51Aplausos
45:21Aplausos
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