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00:12Transcrição e Legendas por Quintena Coelho
00:31Hello, I'm Greg Davies. Welcome to the penultimate episode of the series.
00:35As we enter the crucial final stage of the competition, it's still all to play for.
00:40And when I say it, I mean a papier-mâché head that doesn't look like anyone,
00:44painted gold by an exhausted member of the art department.
00:46But, as my grandfather always said, it's not about the prize, it's about the competition.
00:52He was, of course, a compulsive gambler who lost everything,
00:56including my grandmother and access to his own children.
01:00So, who were the five comedians willing to risk all for glory tonight?
01:04They are Charlotte Ritchie,
01:07Jamani Maddox,
01:09Lily Mack,
01:11Mike Wozniak,
01:12and Sarah Kendall.
01:15And now, sitting next to me, a man who I've got a secret respect for.
01:20He's super talented, and he's a devoted family man to boot.
01:24To my left over there, it's Gary, the cameraman.
01:27Oh dear, Gary.
01:29And also, to my left, this idiot, this hairy dude.
01:32He's a plum, he's a goofball, he's a lemon, he's a colossal loser.
01:36It's little Alex Horne!
01:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:40It's quiz time.
01:43All the questions are about Greg Davis.
01:44Yes or no answers, please.
01:45Are you ready?
01:46OK. Yep.
01:46Yeah? Excited?
01:47Sure.
01:48Has Greg Davis ever been on Have I Got News For You?
01:51Yes.
01:51Yes.
01:52What was that like?
01:53It was all right.
01:54Was it?
01:56Has Greg Davis ever been on Saturday Kitchen?
01:59Yes.
01:59Oh, what was that like?
02:00I didn't mind it, I got free food.
02:02Better.
02:02Well, that's relevant for the final question.
02:04Does Greg Davis applaud when the waiter gives him his food?
02:08No.
02:09No, you don't?
02:10Yep.
02:10You've got all three, right?
02:11And you've won $25.
02:14On a massive cheque.
02:17You like it?
02:18It's like you sit at home and go,
02:19what's going to wind him up before the show's even begun?
02:22I generally thought you'd like that one.
02:23No!
02:23No, the quiz?
02:24You like the quiz element?
02:25It's weird, Alex.
02:27It's weird.
02:29What's the prize task category?
02:31Well, we've asked them to bring in the nattiest knitwear.
02:34It's a term I'm sure we're all familiar with.
02:36You'll judge whose knitwear is the nattiest,
02:38give its owner your maximum of five points,
02:41and then at the end of the show,
02:42one lucky winner will take home the nattiest knitwear.
02:45All right.
02:46Lee Mack.
02:47I've brought it.
02:48It's a nattiest knitwear for children.
02:51It's cool.
02:52I was inspired by this.
02:53I found it online.
02:54I was looking for a knitting pattern for kids' clothes,
02:57and I saw this, and I thought,
02:59yes, that's lovely, because the faces are kept warm,
03:02the bodies are kept warm.
03:03Sewn into the skin?
03:05No, it's not sewn into the skin.
03:06No, it's glued on with super glue.
03:08All right.
03:08Is it a real thing?
03:09This is what Lee's had commissioned based on that.
03:12So...
03:13Oh.
03:15That's a little bit more friendly.
03:17I think they look quite comfy.
03:19Comfy, Greg, but natty?
03:21Natty?
03:21God, that's very natty.
03:22Oh, is it?
03:23Sorry, yes.
03:23That's all.
03:24Good.
03:24Well done, natty.
03:25Thank you, Greg.
03:26I'm glad you appreciate it.
03:27Yo!
03:28Yo!
03:29Mikey W, what have you brought in?
03:31I've done some hand crafting again,
03:33so I've made a handmade bespoke piece of Taskmaster merch.
03:38Wow.
03:39Well, whose head is this, Greg?
03:41Oh!
03:41Oh.
03:42Is it supposed to be me?
03:43Well, it's for anyone.
03:44I mean, I'm thinking, you know,
03:46if they make it into merch,
03:47then people can go and, you know,
03:48parade around as the Taskmaster.
03:50If you were to wear it, then, yes, you...
03:52I mean, you could use it as a disguise.
03:53Or you can just warm your head up.
03:55It's artisan.
03:56It's nice.
03:57Jamali?
03:58Um, honestly, I didn't know what natty meant.
04:01Yep.
04:02So...
04:02You could have asked someone.
04:03Yeah, I could have, but, you know,
04:05it was...
04:05I was at home.
04:06Have you got internet?
04:08No.
04:08OK.
04:09No, no internet in my house.
04:10No internet, no phone.
04:12No, sorry, Greg, we don't all live like you.
04:14So, basically what I did, I got a jumper,
04:17and just to be sure, I...
04:20Whatever that is, natty into it.
04:23He embroidered the word natty into it,
04:24so it looks like this, it's natty knitwear.
04:26So that is the natty-est, because it says natty.
04:29It's a literal interpretation, I like it.
04:31That's actually one of my favourite jumpers
04:32that I've ruined for this show.
04:33You do not own that jumper.
04:35Yes, I do.
04:35Come on, that!
04:36My dressing is very diverse.
04:38I'm a very layered person.
04:40Every weekend, he's down Cornwall hauling in his fishing nets,
04:43you might have been well known for it.
04:45Yeah.
04:45Well, it's really nice.
04:46Thank you.
04:47Is it worth maybe three points?
04:48I think it might do better at this stage in the game.
04:51Really? I'll take that.
04:51Sarah.
04:52Yes.
04:52So, about 15 years ago, at my birthday party,
04:57a very close friend of mine said,
04:59I know you love frogs.
05:01And then she gave me this jumper.
05:02Here it is.
05:03I don't like frogs.
05:05I don't talk about frogs.
05:07I don't even have, like, a frog anecdote.
05:09That's gross.
05:10Yeah, it's feral.
05:11She forgot your birthday present.
05:13She went into her own cupboard
05:15and she found the frog jumper at the bottom
05:16and she thought,
05:17I'll have to try and, like, psych her out
05:19and make her think she's into frogs.
05:21Do people do that?
05:22Yeah.
05:2455 frogs on a shrug.
05:26Charlotte.
05:27OK, sometimes your extremities get cold.
05:30Yep.
05:30You've got to sort that out.
05:31So, it's a nose warmer.
05:33LAUGHTER
05:35A company based in Sheffield makes these.
05:37Wow.
05:38They've been demonstrated by Dr Hilary Jones.
05:40He loves them and Christine Bleakley
05:41had a good giggle when she wore one.
05:43If you squint, it looks like a boil.
05:46But I don't enjoy getting a cold nose.
05:49No, who does?
05:50This one is wool.
05:50They also come in faux fur or fleece.
05:52OK, here's the good news.
05:53I'm not giving anyone one point.
05:55It's good news.
05:56Oh, that is good news.
05:57Here's the slightly bad news.
05:58You're all getting nothing.
06:01I'm doing this to teach Sarah's friend a lesson.
06:03You can't just get some old frog jumper
06:05out the bottom of the cupboard
06:06and give it as a birthday present.
06:07You're out of order.
06:08She doesn't like frogs.
06:09And now she's only got two points.
06:11Think.
06:13Jamali correctly predicted
06:14he's getting three points.
06:15Oh, well done, Jamali.
06:16That's what I asked for, thank you.
06:17Yeah, yeah.
06:17Lovely.
06:18Appreciate it.
06:18I'm very suggestible when it comes to you, young man.
06:20I know.
06:21Well done.
06:21Joint four points to these two clans.
06:23Um, I don't like having a cold nose.
06:25and I think if I saw Charlotte out wearing that nose warmer,
06:29I'd go, whew, nutty.
06:31Five points.
06:32Five points.
06:32You're kidding.
06:33All right, on we go.
06:38What have we got first, young man?
06:40Ah, well, at last, it's the contestant's turn to play God.
06:58How you doing?
06:59I'm good.
07:00This is cool.
07:00Oh.
07:03That's not at all terrifying.
07:05A little message in a bottle, is that only a task?
07:08Maybe.
07:09Shall I?
07:10I love this.
07:12Bunk.
07:13Have you got your glasses?
07:15Please, can you not talk to me like I'm 96, Alex?
07:19I haven't got my glasses, actually.
07:20It's all right, I'll be able to read it.
07:22Oh, my God.
07:23Look how small that is.
07:25Um, would you like me to read it to you?
07:27Can anyone read that?
07:29Make the most impressive and realistic weather.
07:32Oh, wow.
07:34Make the most impressive and realistic weather for Taskmaster Island.
07:38You have 30 minutes,
07:39and your weather must last for no more than a minute.
07:43Your time starts now.
07:45Oh, what have we got?
07:46We've got rain.
07:46Sun.
07:47Snow.
07:48We've got snow.
07:49Say snow.
07:50I was going to maybe make it rain and wind.
07:53Maybe snow.
07:54Snow might look better.
07:56Rainbows.
07:57It's not weather.
07:58Do you have a fan?
08:01Tornadoes.
08:02Hurricane.
08:02Twisters.
08:04Whirlwind.
08:05Tidal waves.
08:06That's not weather either.
08:07And I might even set up a hairdryer as well,
08:10because then it can be like a blizzard.
08:12Yeah, a blizzard.
08:13Thank you.
08:13Do you mind if I tiddle off and look for some kit?
08:17Right, lovely.
08:18Mmm, weather.
08:19Sarah, do you do a lot of positive affirmation
08:21when you're building up to making a decision?
08:23Do I do that?
08:24Alex, can you show Sarah's positive affirmation system
08:27for what she's made a decision?
08:29Yeah, I did isolate something.
08:30Do you want to see it?
08:31Yes, please.
08:31And I might even set up a hairdryer as well,
08:34because then it can be like a blizzard.
08:36Yeah, a blizzard!
08:39So, Annie, who are you angry with?
08:41It's like someone inside's gone,
08:42not a blizzard,
08:43and you've gone,
08:43yeah, blizzard!
08:44I do undermine myself constantly
08:46and have to...
08:47There is that sort of...
08:48Yeah.
08:49That's actually a really chilling insight
08:51into every day of my life.
08:54Sorry to put it on national television.
08:55Oh, no, it's fine.
08:56Although we're going to start
08:57with the two that look the most like weather presenters,
08:59and that's Charlotte Ritchie
09:00and, of course, Lee Mack.
09:01Here we go.
09:03What I might need you to do, Alex,
09:05if you don't mind,
09:05is hold this colander there.
09:08I don't mind.
09:09So, sunny day.
09:12Breeze in the air.
09:13This doesn't look like a place
09:14that's going to get fog.
09:16Well, you're wrong, Alex,
09:17for even thinking it.
09:19Wait.
09:20What is this I see?
09:22Is the fog descending?
09:23I think it is, Alex,
09:25the mysterious fog on Taskmaster Island.
09:28It's something in the distance.
09:31Crackling away.
09:34A little bit of...
09:35And then the rain starts to pour.
09:38Oh, no.
09:40It's particularly heavy
09:41on that side of the island.
09:43This is Greta Thunberg's nightmare.
09:46It is.
09:47This is the smoke
09:48from all the chimneys
09:48that are destroying this planet.
09:50But it's weather for the competition,
09:51so I'm not losing points for that.
09:53It's fog.
09:53I've changed my mind.
09:55Oh, wow.
09:56It's coming in now.
09:58And then the lightning starts to happen.
10:01and it's black...
10:02Oh, no!
10:03Oh, no!
10:04That umbrella's never going to save me!
10:06And then it's...
10:07Hail!
10:09Hail!
10:10Hail and burst!
10:14Really rolling in.
10:16Is this...
10:17I mean, I don't know how good this looks on TV.
10:19It's very hard to tell how this looks,
10:21because I can't see anything.
10:23Brilliant.
10:24Come closer.
10:32Lightning!
10:38Oh, no!
10:40You've been blown over, Alex!
10:42And then the lightning stops.
10:44And the rain's stopping.
10:47Phew!
10:49That was quite a storm.
10:50Yeah.
10:51I call it the Lemac Hurricane P-P-Super.
10:55Thank you, Lee.
10:56HE SIGHS
10:57HE SIGHS
10:58HE SIGHS
10:58HE SIGHS
10:59HE SIGHS
10:59HE SIGHS
11:02HE SIGHS
11:02HE SIGHS
11:02HE SIGHS
11:02In a very child-friendly way,
11:05Charlotte created
11:06an entire weather system.
11:10There was thunder.
11:11There was rain.
11:13Yeah.
11:14There was lightning.
11:15There was wind.
11:17There was an awful accident
11:18that occurred as a result.
11:19A man clearly perished on the island.
11:21Yeah.
11:22The lighting conditions changed.
11:24And Lee filled the room with smoke.
11:27He even started talking himself
11:29at one point halfway through
11:31by saying that this was pollution.
11:33He went,
11:34Oh, no, hang on.
11:34That's not weather.
11:36No, there was a bit of...
11:38There was a bit of smoke.
11:39I mean, you know,
11:40fog and smog can combine.
11:43Smog isn't weather.
11:44It's pollution.
11:45Mm.
11:46Who's next?
11:47Next, it's our breezy Jamali Maddox.
11:51It's a tropical island.
11:53Yes.
11:54And weather changes quickly.
11:56So it's like I'm thinking it's thunder.
12:00HE SIGHS
12:01HE SIGHS
12:01HE SIGHS
12:03That was like the lightning hit.
12:06Lighting it on fire and that.
12:07Yeah, the sea's on fire over there.
12:09Yeah.
12:12Do watch out for that flame.
12:13Yep.
12:14All right, Dad.
12:18So we've had the thunder and lightning.
12:20It's not working.
12:22Oh, sorry.
12:23I'm so sorry.
12:28It's quite a strong smell, this storm.
12:31It's like the house storm on top of it.
12:43That's big hail.
12:46Yeah, he's got pretty badly burnt.
12:49And the umbrella's intact, though.
12:50I mean, I gave it a go.
12:52Yeah.
12:52That was really...
12:53It was definitely impressive.
12:54Thank you, Jamali.
12:55All right.
12:55Thank you, mate.
12:57APPLAUSE
13:00The task, I think, was we wanted you to create a weather system
13:02on the island, but I think you misheard.
13:04You heard that we want you to fuck an island up and kill everyone.
13:08Is that not the task?
13:10Oh, because it can happen?
13:11Weather.
13:12And there was lightning, that was weather.
13:14And then there was howl stones, which is weather,
13:16and there was rain, which is weather.
13:17Yeah, they're big old hailstones, weren't they?
13:19Yeah.
13:20Some howl stones can be the size of this, mate.
13:21You never seen the news?
13:23They were trying to create the most impressive and realistic weather.
13:27OK.
13:27It was impressive.
13:28It may have been lacking a little bit of realism.
13:31You know, the sea being on fire and all.
13:33That might be the weather of the future.
13:35Maybe that's just a bit.
13:36See, that's what I was going for.
13:37It's an apocalyptic vision of the future.
13:39I'll take that.
13:40Thank you.
13:41Finally, we're going to see the attempt of Sarah Kendall
13:43and Mike Wozniak, who is, of course, already famous
13:45for his wind production.
13:50Oh, what's that?
13:52Flash of lightning.
13:53Man doesn't know what's going on.
13:55This guy's going to lie down, though,
13:56which cows do when a storm's coming,
13:57or they stand up.
13:59It's one of the other...
13:59Yeah, either way.
14:01Ooh, distant rumble of thunder.
14:04Oh, that's really fast.
14:07If I do that...
14:08Oh, it really goes out fast.
14:10All right, hang on.
14:11Oh, no!
14:13Oh, shit, guys!
14:16Oh!
14:18It's getting closer.
14:19And here it comes, the wind.
14:23Smattering of rain.
14:25Smattering of rain.
14:27Moving more into a downpour now.
14:32And very unusually, for a Caribbean island,
14:36hail!
14:38It's done to the man in a big way.
14:41There we go.
14:48It was a heavy snowstorm, then.
14:51It was, wasn't it?
14:52It was quite localised, wasn't it, over the house.
14:54It was.
14:55It was like they'd done something wrong, yeah.
14:57But it's dying down now.
14:59It's the smattering of rain.
15:01It's a little shower.
15:04See if this works.
15:08It's a little rainbow.
15:10It doesn't work, does it, at all?
15:11Back up, rainbow!
15:12Back up, rainbow!
15:23And the most localised weather we've seen so far,
15:26that your island was centrally affected by all weather.
15:30Yeah, I said it's almost like they've done something wrong.
15:33I missed the narrative.
15:35What did happen?
15:36There was an incident inside the house.
15:40It's sort of become folklore.
15:41So it's affected the weather?
15:42Yeah, yeah, because it angered the Lord.
15:45And that was really...
15:47The Lord was smoting the house.
15:49With his salt, sugar and ice cubes.
15:51Yes.
15:53The snowfall was impressive.
15:55Yeah.
15:56But now that I know God's involved,
15:58I also think it's realistic, so it's really high-scoring.
16:01OK.
16:01Mike, pleased for that?
16:03I spent most of my 20 minutes trying to construct a rainbow.
16:07Couldn't really remember how to do that.
16:09Yeah, you had light, you had water, you were trying to refract it.
16:11You looked it up on the internet,
16:12but in the end you used three strips of gaffer tape.
16:15When I saw you hold up your rainbow,
16:18I thought, that's the most tragic tableau I've ever seen in my life.
16:22This is the tragic tableau of Mike Wozniak and his rainbow.
16:26That.
16:29I mean, look at the rainbow next to it as well.
16:32It's not my proudest moment,
16:33but I think you can see that I know that at the time.
16:36Here are my points.
16:38Fogboy, one point.
16:40Oh!
16:41Fogboy!
16:42Wow!
16:43Jamali was incredibly dramatic,
16:45but, you know, until we reached the apocalypse,
16:48it wasn't very realistic.
16:49Two points.
16:50Then Sarah, three.
16:51Mike, four.
16:52Charlotte, five.
16:53Charlotte, five.
16:54Another five points for Charlotte Richard.
16:56Yeah, Alex.
16:56It looked really realistic.
16:58It did look realistic.
17:00Thank you.
17:00Scores, please.
17:01We've got three people in last place.
17:03Jamali, Lee and Sarah have all got five.
17:04Charlotte's got double their score with ten.
17:06Ooh.
17:09Right, what are we going to see next, Alex?
17:11We're going to see our five contestants reach their tipping points.
17:29Oh, hi, Lee.
17:31Hi, Alex.
17:31I got your name wrong a bit when I said it.
17:33Well, there's so many syllables.
17:35Sarah.
17:36Alex.
17:38OK, build a tower,
17:40then topple your tower
17:41so that the yoghurt lands in a numbered square.
17:44Build a tower and topple your tower
17:45so that the yoghurt lands in a numbered square,
17:47which is over there.
17:49You have one yoghurt
17:50and one toppling attempt.
17:52Highest score wins.
17:53You have 20 minutes.
17:54Time starts now.
17:56And you've got to stay in the circle?
17:57You've got to build it on the circle, please.
17:59Yep.
17:59And the height of the tower isn't mentioned in this.
18:02It's not saying build the highest tower.
18:04It's just any...
18:04But you'll see the further you go,
18:06the higher the number.
18:08OK.
18:08Do you have a number in mind at this stage?
18:10Well, you know,
18:11shoot for the moon, right?
18:13Go for number 10.
18:15Toppling.
18:16Just clarify the point system for me, please.
18:18Well, the highest number that the yoghurt went into
18:21would get the highest points in the game.
18:23So, splash counts.
18:24Splash counts.
18:25If they splash into a square, it counts.
18:26Just get some yoghurt in the highest number.
18:28If you want to get in the number 10,
18:29that's nine metres away from the circle.
18:32So, you want to go nine metres up, down.
18:33That's high.
18:34That's high.
18:35Oh, that's like, if you take one metre, nine of them.
18:37Yeah.
18:38Let's see some towers toppling.
18:40First, we're going to see Mad, Rich, Ken have a go.
18:42That's Maddox, Richie and Kendall.
18:46Build a topple, pop the yoghurt on top.
18:48Build a tower.
18:50Build a topple.
18:5410's that way.
18:55You're aiming for the 10?
18:56Yeah.
18:56Yeah.
18:56It's the highest number, isn't it?
18:58On that board, yeah.
18:59Yeah.
18:59Oh, yeah, there's other ones out there, aren't there?
19:02Yeah.
19:03I think we'll try for six.
19:05How high would that be?
19:06Really high.
19:09Right.
19:10It's quite a long distance, actually.
19:12What number are you aiming for?
19:1310.
19:19What's this?
19:21What do you think it is?
19:30Ronnie, you look like you've got a plan.
19:32Yep.
19:32Have you got a plan?
19:33Nope.
19:35Woo!
19:36When do you think you might start building?
19:38Look, mate, give me four hours to chop down a tree.
19:41I'm going to spend three hours sharpening the blade.
19:46That was cool.
19:47That was pretty cool, isn't it?
19:49How am I going for time?
19:52Time's going down.
19:55No!
19:58Is this part of the task?
20:04How long have I got left?
20:05You've now got nine minutes.
20:10Oh, it's nowhere near close enough.
20:12Not as tall as you.
20:12No.
20:20The carpet always got a bit wet because of the air.
20:22Yeah.
20:29It's hadn't done anything.
20:30What's the point of that?
20:32How long have I got?
20:33Five minutes.
20:33You're joking.
20:35It's not good when you break down your life into sort of quantities and realise whether you achieve something during
20:40that time or not.
20:41You got that?
20:41Oh, yeah.
20:42Now lean it towards me.
20:44Please.
20:45Please.
20:48Make sure you don't...
20:49Oh, you...
20:51Why did it fall down?
20:53I don't think it was built very well.
20:54Oops.
21:24So the idea is three of them with that on top.
21:24There we go. Wow. Yes.
21:27A lot of building.
21:30You got very philosophical, Sarah, with this
21:33I'll spend three hours sharpening my blade business.
21:35Who said that? Abraham Lincoln, was it? I think so.
21:37But interesting to have it contrasted with the fact that
21:40you've never seen a drill before. Yes, I know.
21:44After you made your philosophical point about the importance of preparation,
21:48I'm not sure what you did. My anger started to get directed towards Alex during this time.
21:52Rightly, you've said, why has this happened?
21:54And he said, I think it's because it wasn't built very well.
21:57No, she didn't build it very well. Yeah.
21:58I mean, I'm amazed you didn't attack him.
22:00You know, you sit around at lunchtime and you have a nice little chat with Alex at lunch
22:03and it's all friendly. Yeah, and then you go in and film
22:06and you just get this little bitch.
22:07Yeah. And it's just stunning.
22:09A little hairy little bitch. You must have found it, Jamali.
22:12He corrected your manners. Did you notice?
22:14He's a punk. I generally don't like him. He's a punk-ass bitch.
22:17He's a punk-ass bitch.
22:19He's a bit...
22:20I said it was cool when the plastic bits spun round and round.
22:23Did you? We agreed on that, didn't we? Yeah.
22:24It's pissing it down with rain and we've got you muttering please under your breath.
22:29It's nice to say please, isn't it?
22:30Charlotte! She tried to build a topple.
22:32She did. Because there's going to be topples on her programme.
22:35I can't stop it. You give me reason.
22:39I've honestly got nothing to say.
22:40When you were envisaging your tower falling down, you said,
22:43Phew, Splat.
22:45I'm trying to take her seriously as a grown woman.
22:47Are you?
22:49My feeling is that Jamali's is going to be the most effective.
22:52Yes, we're looking for effective. We're looking for numbers.
22:54Shall I show you Jamali's inaction?
22:57Hit me up.
22:58OK, with one topple, here is Jamali's tower.
23:01Do you want me to let go?
23:02Yeah, three, two, one.
23:16Oh, shit.
23:18I've got some on one.
23:19Yeah, most of it's in one.
23:21It's quite wet now.
23:22Yeah. Can I go in now?
23:24Yeah, you can go away now.
23:26I thought I was very supportive there.
23:27What happened was, it was raining and it actually bent up all the carbons
23:31when it fell, it all toppled in.
23:32Plus, I wasted everyone's time.
23:34I appreciate it.
23:36It looked like a good system to me.
23:37It was. It was just the rain.
23:39It was supporting rods.
23:39It was chucking it down with rain.
23:41Yeah, it's just, you know, someone should have checked the weather
23:42and then maybe moved the event inside.
23:44Yeah.
23:45That would be.
23:46Just use their brains.
23:47Yeah, I think it would have made it a much more enjoyable and fair task,
23:50but, you know, it's your show, mate.
23:52You want to see Charlotte's tower?
23:54I do, yeah.
23:54Can she beat Jamali's one? Let's see.
23:56Ooh, I hope so. Whee!
23:58LAUGHTER
24:00Are you ready?
24:00I'm going to push it.
24:04In three...
24:05..two...
24:07..one...
24:09Oh!
24:23That's disappointing.
24:24Your tube went all the way over there.
24:25Yeah.
24:26Well, there's some in three, there's some in four.
24:29There is yoghurt in a lot of them.
24:31Yeah.
24:32Well, there we are.
24:33There we are. Thank you, Charlotte.
24:34Thank you.
24:36I mean, it's basically the equivalent of the, um, tablecloth trick,
24:40really, is what you did.
24:41LAUGHTER
24:42You whipped your own device out from underneath the yoghurt,
24:45causing it to fall directly down.
24:46Yeah, it's just a shame it didn't fall straight on Alex's head,
24:49which was the trajectory it was going on.
24:50LAUGHTER
24:51Yeah, maybe it's a physics thing that didn't work out.
24:53Next up, Greg, uh, Sarah, do you want to see Sarah's tower tumble?
24:57Thank you.
24:57Here we go.
24:59You ready?
25:00Yes.
25:01Good luck.
25:02Good luck.
25:06Good luck.
25:09LAUGHTER
25:17Oh, it's so close.
25:18Oh!
25:19There's a bit of yoghurt in the number two.
25:21Is there?
25:22LAUGHTER
25:23Hang on.
25:24Wait, wait, wait.
25:25Is it yoghurt or is it poo?
25:27LAUGHTER
25:27It's yoghurt.
25:29LAUGHTER
25:29Congratulations.
25:30I probably should have used the, you know...
25:33You did what you did.
25:34Thank you, Sarah.
25:36OK, thank you.
25:37All right, I don't know what a drill is!
25:39Don't know what a drill is.
25:41Let's get that clear.
25:42You definitely don't know what one is.
25:44Oh, well...
25:45Done.
25:46Maybe some of us didn't grow up around drills.
25:50In fact, I think that, um, Sarah's tower blocked the yoghurt.
25:54It was a bit of tower blocking.
25:55It was the next level.
25:56It was a bit.
25:56Thank you.
25:57It was almost too well-built.
25:58Yeah.
25:59It's almost like the woodcutter spent too long sharpening his axe.
26:02LAUGHTER
26:03That is the bit that they didn't write down.
26:05After, after Abe Lincoln said,
26:07I will spend three hours sharpening it,
26:09but what you don't want to do is spend five hours sharpening the blade
26:12for a three-hour chopping task.
26:13Because then you'll get no yoghurt on your square.
26:15And you don't get yoghurt in your square.
26:17LAUGHTER
26:17Good.
26:17Nice to see you, um, taking a risk on blinding yourself by eating bird poo.
26:23Last couple we're going to see are two pillars of the community, probably.
26:26It's Mike and Lee.
26:29One, two, three, four, five.
26:34Yeah, so about four of these will do it.
26:36The problem is, how does it stay up?
26:38Oh, this old chestnut.
26:39Here we go.
26:40Oh, no.
26:43Sorry, I've never been very good at this.
26:45I mean, that's ridiculous. What's that for?
26:48If anybody uses any of them, they're an idiot.
26:51How far am I in so far?
26:53You've spent three minutes making three boxes.
26:55Have I? OK.
26:57Get the drill.
26:59All right, I changed my mind.
27:01I think a very sensible person would use these.
27:07for the love of God.
27:12Oh, for God's sake.
27:14I hate this.
27:17Oh.
27:22This looks...
27:24extremely useful.
27:26LAUGHTER
27:27Oh, my gosh.
27:28Abraham Lincoln said,
27:30if I had four hours to chop down a tree,
27:33I'd spend the first three hours sharpening me axe.
27:35But the reality is,
27:36if someone came to your house
27:39to chop a tree down,
27:40and then you said afterwards,
27:42sorry, mate, you only cut it down.
27:44It took an hour.
27:46Yeah, but I spent the first three hours polishing me axe.
27:48You're not mental, aren't you?
27:49I'm not paying you for that.
27:56Sort of pop that up.
27:58It's such a way that I can hopefully reach it a bit.
28:01Don't worry about me.
28:02Just worry about me structure.
28:04Now, how do I get that more rigid?
28:06You're wobbling a bit, Alex.
28:07I think it might hit me on the head in a minute.
28:09It's cardboard, mate.
28:10It's not, you know...
28:16I mean, one job!
28:22Actually, I need to make this lower, don't I?
28:24One more.
28:25One more.
28:25Oh!
28:29Oh!
28:29Oh!
28:30Oh!
28:32Oh!
28:33Now for the raising of the ladder.
28:36Up it goes.
28:37Up it goes.
28:37Right, this is the hard bit,
28:39cos I'm now balancing the yoghurt
28:40on something that could topple at any second on its own.
28:43How many yoghurts have you got?
28:44Just the one.
28:45That's relaxing.
28:46I'm in.
28:51Oh!
28:52Hopla!
28:54Still got 45 seconds left.
28:56Oh, really?
28:57OK.
28:58Got to be worth a drive.
29:02OK.
29:05So discovering the hidden ladder was perhaps not as useful as you thought it was.
29:09It may be arrogant and complacent.
29:11I thought I had the keys to the kingdom.
29:14All you had to do was turn the ladder upside down and the yoghurt would have nestled into the foot
29:18of the ladder.
29:19And the ladder would have been high enough.
29:21But you created all this cardboard chaos at the top of the ladder.
29:25If someone had gone through all of that trouble and then got Alex embroiled in it,
29:31and then the yoghurt had fallen down my back, I wouldn't have said, and I quote,
29:36Opla!
29:40I mean, it's just what came out at the time, you know.
29:43And it's a very polite, stark contrast to Lee Mack, who increasingly, I think,
29:48is starting to look like an angry northern farmer during that time.
29:51The relationship between you and Alex is like,
29:54What are you doing there, lad?
29:56I wouldn't pay you with watches, lad!
29:58Often followed with, No, I bloody water, say it, please!
30:03I enjoyed your slightly northern interpretation of the Lincoln Act story as well.
30:08Yeah, I think we've been eating the same fortune cookies.
30:12Can we see the eccentric English robot and the angry northern farmer?
30:17Yes.
30:18Well, Mike and Lee both built massive towers.
30:21The biggest towers.
30:22But did the yoghurt go the furthest?
30:24Let's see. Mike, first of all.
30:27Are we still going?
30:28If we can.
30:31OK.
30:32You good?
30:33Get yourself to a safe place.
30:35Oh, no!
30:39Oh, no!
30:44Where's the yoghurt?
30:46It went backwards.
30:47It did.
30:48That was unexpected.
30:49Have you time off?
30:51Thanks, Alex.
30:53I appreciate it.
30:54I mean, talk about defeat from the jaws of victory.
30:57And I don't know anyone else in that situation who wouldn't say,
31:01Oh, shit!
31:02But Mike, in the same space, said,
31:05Get yourself to a safe space!
31:08I didn't want...
31:09I didn't want to be the contestant who had killed little Alex Horn.
31:13Good legacy.
31:15Get yourself to a safe space!
31:17Get yourself to a safe space!
31:18I just had to think of him being completely skewered by
31:21little bits of tent pole and cardboard tubes and yoghurt.
31:25Fascinating.
31:25Let's see how far my lady did.
31:27Are you ready?
31:29Yeah.
31:29OK, let go, Alex. Let go.
31:31I'm toppling in three, two, one!
31:43BULLSHIT!
31:45BULLSHIT!
31:47BULLSHIT!
31:48BULLSHIT!
31:48BULLSHIT!
31:49That was so close to the six if it had been to the right.
31:52That is soul-destroying.
31:54I put so much effort into that.
31:56Were you holding that when I let it go?
31:58I was holding it until you told me to stop holding it.
32:00And then did you in any way grab it?
32:01I didn't grab it.
32:02That was going like that and something took it to me.
32:04I was holding it to the left.
32:06I'm just going to check the numbers.
32:08You don't have to check.
32:09You can see it's not gone anywhere near.
32:12Don't do that.
32:13That's very irritating.
32:16It's really disappointing.
32:18Yeah.
32:23Well, a complete disaster,
32:24but at least a human response from you when it fell down.
32:28You shouted bullshit.
32:29Mike would have shouted,
32:30everybody clear the area, there might be some village.
32:33Although, when Alex did do that,
32:34I was tempted to tell him to get to a safe space.
32:37It really was.
32:38I'm not surprised.
32:39Because that was irritating.
32:40I like that you blamed him, though,
32:42as any good farmer would.
32:43Yeah.
32:44I really enjoyed it.
32:45It's one of my favourite tasks.
32:46Well done, everyone.
32:47Well done.
32:47Well done for being so rubbish.
32:49Lee and Mike were the only ones
32:50who didn't get any yoghurt in any of the squares.
32:54Jamali then comes third to get three points.
32:57Sarah next gets four points.
32:59Charlotte, because a tiny bit of yoghurt,
33:00landed at number four.
33:01Incredibly, he gets five points!
33:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:04I can't read it!
33:05Right.
33:07I would love a task featuring a spinning camera, please.
33:10Oh, thank God.
33:28Hello.
33:29Hi, Mike.
33:30How are you?
33:32You all right?
33:35Right.
33:36Do you like what I bought?
33:37I love it.
33:38It's very nice.
33:39It's very hipster, very retro.
33:44Look the most different in four photos taken by the camera.
33:48The camera will spin around three times and take a picture every time it faces the frame.
33:53You must not hinder the camera or the spinning mechanism in any way.
33:56You must be in all four photos.
33:59Most various sets of photo wins.
34:01Can I just read it one more time?
34:02Uh-huh.
34:03Thanks.
34:03The camera will start spinning in 20 minutes from now.
34:08Do you mind if I pop off for a tick?
34:11Do you have a beard tremor?
34:13That will go off.
34:16This feels like it might be useful, but...
34:19I don't know why I'm getting these.
34:25Do you mind if I chop a thing up?
34:31Oh, yeah.
34:32That's gonna work.
34:42How long have I got left?
34:44Right, you ready?
34:45This won't stay on long.
34:46It's not very sticky.
34:49Meow!
34:51Right, is that it's spinning now?
34:55Meow!
34:58Yeah.
35:03Oh, that's actually very tight.
35:29Oh, my gosh, it's coming!
35:33Puss!
35:38Into the future.
35:41Space man.
35:43The journey is the unknown.
35:47It's me without grasses.
35:50Is that in the centre?
35:54Meow!
35:57Ooh!
36:05Cool.
36:06Thank you, Jamali.
36:07Thank you, Lee.
36:12Would you like to see Lee's set of photos?
36:16Yes.
36:16Let's see how varied they are.
36:18Yeah.
36:18So, look at the contrast here.
36:20A lot of different characters.
36:21This is various phases I've gone through over the years.
36:24Do you want to talk us through who character two is,
36:26with the melon breasts and lobster penis?
36:29Yes, that is what a character I call melon breast lobster penis.
36:33Ah!
36:34He likes to go on a bike ride, always delivering a romantic flower
36:37to his girlfriend.
36:38And the girlfriend is the...
36:40The girl underneath.
36:41The sexy girl beneath.
36:42The girl underneath, yeah.
36:43She doesn't go anywhere without her cow.
36:45She rides round town on her cow.
36:46She's like a sort of West Country Lady Godiva.
36:50So, it's a builder, a superhero and a beautiful lady on a cow.
36:55It's not about to start.
36:56Quite contrasting.
36:57Quite varied.
36:57Quite varied.
36:58Do you want to see Jamali's?
36:59Yes, please. If we're talking about variety,
37:00have a look at this.
37:05What I see is a builder, yeah,
37:08and then I see three pictures of Jamali from a catalogue.
37:10No, no, I'm wrong.
37:12Completely wrong.
37:13You've got a builder, then you've got a banker.
37:15It's the guy with the stick and the top hat.
37:17Yeah.
37:18Then you've got the banker off work playing golf.
37:20With the same stick?
37:21And then you've got a guy who I don't even know who that next...
37:23that last one is.
37:24At the time, you said number two is a rich dude
37:26and number three is a white dude.
37:27Because he's playing golf?
37:28Yeah.
37:29I have a very narrow view about what you people do.
37:32LAUGHTER
37:35Now, we're going to have a look at Mikey Boy Waz's pictures.
37:40LAUGHTER
37:42There was a lot of meowing during your preparation time.
37:45Yeah.
37:46We want to get into character.
37:47They wanted to sort of exude Pussycat.
37:49Pussycat on a brick wall.
37:50Yeah, sure.
37:50To his right, we have Noble Caesar.
37:51What's the pink thing?
37:53The Roman sceptre.
37:56And then there is a spaceman from the future.
37:58Correct.
37:58There's a man who's a skull from the neck up
38:01and a body from the neck down,
38:03giving a thumbs up with his remaining flesh.
38:04Yeah.
38:05He's happy with his flayed head.
38:07He's not happy about it, but he's sanguine, I think.
38:10He realises that other people are worse off.
38:12LAUGHTER
38:13They're pretty contrasting images.
38:16Shall I show you four versions of Charlotte?
38:18Yeah.
38:18OK, well, here is Charlotte, Lottie, Charlie and Chaz.
38:22LAUGHTER
38:25Only two out of four go straight onto the children's show.
38:29LAUGHTER
38:29Mr Octopus and Pottyhuns.
38:32Pottyhuns.
38:33Are you pleased?
38:33Yeah, I'm actually...
38:34There's a bloody octopus there, for God's sake.
38:36How much of a contrast do I want?
38:37That's my whole entire body's transformed.
38:40Finally, it's the four faces of Sarah Kendall.
38:44Mmm.
38:44Yeah.
38:45It's a real story, real story.
38:46I had no idea there was a narrative.
38:48Talk her through it.
38:49Oh, well, the classic writer staring out a window...
38:52Yep.
38:53..dreaming, what am I going to write my story about?
38:55Sitting there for so long that, like, a century worth of hair growth
38:58just sitting there.
39:00After that, deciding on a career as a professional tennis player.
39:04My God.
39:05And then, of course, all stories end in death, as we know.
39:08OK, this should help you make your mind up.
39:10So where do you want to start?
39:10I'm loathe to do it, but Jamali put one costume on
39:14and then had three pictures of himself taken.
39:17LAUGHTER
39:17So I'm giving him a very generous two points.
39:20Sorry, two points?
39:21Yes, unbelievably, I am.
39:22OK.
39:23Because I'm putting these two, Sarah and Lee,
39:26I'm giving three points each.
39:28What a generous man.
39:29Aren't I?
39:30Boring T-shirt head girl, I'm giving her four points.
39:34That's what I look like in real life.
39:36The boring T-shirt head girl.
39:38It's just me.
39:39Huge apologies.
39:41LAUGHTER
39:41And, erm, yeah, this weirdo.
39:43Michael takes five.
39:45Well done, Mike.
39:45Well done.
39:48Quick look at the scores.
39:49She's almost on for maximum, but she is the leader at this stage.
39:52Charlotte Ritchie has 19 points.
39:53Wow.
39:54That's good.
39:55Wow.
39:56All right, everyone.
39:58Please make your way to the stage.
39:59Why?
40:00Because it's the final task of the show!
40:06Hello.
40:07I've got my bucket.
40:09Good boy.
40:10Who's going to read the task out?
40:11Mike.
40:12Michael.
40:15I like this already.
40:17Yeah.
40:18Shove your fish onto the target using your mop.
40:21You must shove your fish within ten seconds of Alex laying down your fish.
40:26Furthest from the target ten seconds after each round is eliminated.
40:30Last shover shoving wins.
40:33If your fish falls off the nappet at any point, you're out.
40:37Charlotte, you're up first.
40:38Within ten seconds of me laying it down, you may shove.
40:42Off you go.
40:47She's got a mouth.
40:49She's got a mouth.
41:09She's got a mouth.
41:10It's a good shove.
41:12All right.
41:12You next, Sarah.
41:13Oh, I'm next.
41:14Sarah, please shove.
41:19Ooh.
41:19Excellent.
41:20Jamali is next.
41:21Yeah.
41:22Can you, like, put it down and leave quick?
41:24Ha!
41:24I like Jamali.
41:25Quickly.
41:25Quickly get away.
41:26Quickly.
41:27Sorry.
41:28All right.
41:30Lovely.
41:30It's past Sarah's, but will it stay past Sarah's?
41:32Let's see.
41:33Good luck, Lee.
41:36Oh, mine's actually trying to get free.
41:39Oh!
41:40HE LAUGHS
41:41That was a nightmare!
41:44He scoots.
41:45I've had an absolute...
41:46He scoots.
41:47Are you ready for round two, Greg?
41:49I very much am.
41:50Yes, we've lost Charlotte Ritchie and Lee Mackerel, so it's time.
41:53Nice.
41:54Oh, wow!
41:55First in round two is Mike Wozniak.
41:57Pike Wozniak, surely.
41:59Off he goes.
42:00Pike Wozniak.
42:00Pike Wozniak.
42:02Ooh!
42:03Confident.
42:04Very similar.
42:06Sarah, you're on blue.
42:07You're next.
42:08It's down.
42:14Ooh!
42:16Jamali could absolutely take everybody out here.
42:19Jamali, um, it wouldn't be the first time he's done the unexpected.
42:22Let's see what he's got.
42:24Oh!
42:26Oh!
42:26Bold move!
42:28We've lost Jamali Maddox.
42:29It was a tasty move.
42:30It was a bold move.
42:31It's the final, Greg.
42:33I'm trying to think of a fish pun around Sarah's name, but I can't do it.
42:36No, I don't think there are any.
42:36So, it's Mike first.
42:40Off you go.
42:45Ooh, lovely.
42:46Nearly a hot lot.
42:47The final shove.
42:48This is it, Sarah.
42:49This is for glory.
42:50All right.
42:53Oh!
42:58Oh!
42:59Oh!
42:59Oh!
42:59Oh!
43:00Oh!
43:00Oh!
43:01Oh!
43:01Oh!
43:01Oh!
43:02Oh!
43:04Oh!
43:09Oh, no!
43:11That's just...
43:13That is cool.
43:14Right.
43:15Let's add that to the final scores and see how it's affected things.
43:17Come on down.
43:19APPLAUSE
43:21Hello.
43:22Hi, Greg.
43:23So, that was an exciting game.
43:26Well, it started with tragedy and it ended with tragedy, like a good film.
43:29It was very exciting.
43:30Yeah, I agree.
43:31It was really exciting.
43:32Especially that final bit.
43:34Oh!
43:34Remember when the fish fell off the...
43:35Oh, well, it fell off.
43:37So, Sarah does get four points despite the flapping thing.
43:40Jamali, three.
43:41Charlotte and Lee both only get one point because they were eliminated immediately.
43:44But the winner of that task was Mike Wozniak.
43:46Oh!
43:48With apologies.
43:49That's fine, Mike.
43:50I like your luck.
43:51Thank you.
43:51Don't resent it at all.
43:52Oh, that's cute.
43:53And that means he shot up to second place in both the episode and the series, but the
43:57winner of this episode with 20 points is Charlotte Ritchie!
44:00Hey!
44:01I can't believe it!
44:02Charlotte Ritchie wins!
44:04Please go and nut all your nutty knitwear!
44:06Woo!
44:08So, what have we learned today?
44:10If you find yourself swimming in the ocean, I have two pieces of advice for you.
44:14One, there's absolutely no fish that rhyme with Sarah Kendall.
44:18And two, in the event of a shark attack, just before you swim away, make sure you shout,
44:23get yourself to a safe space on the top of your lungs.
44:26See you next time for the final, but for now, it's tonight's winner, once more,
44:31Charlotte Ritchie!
44:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:48MUSIC
44:49MUSIC
44:49MUSIC
45:03Legenda Adriana Zanotto
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