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Watch The Office Season 8 Episode 20 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025).

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Animals
Transcript
00:01Hey Jim
00:02Stanley's back from the hospital today
00:04Can you sign his card? Oh great
00:07Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy
00:09with a mustacheectomy
00:12Oh that's not good
00:13Oh because your jokes are all hilarious
00:16It's nice, it's funny
00:17It mentions his tonsillectomy
00:18and makes a funny little joke about his mustache
00:20Stanley doesn't have a mustache
00:24Yeah he does
00:25Pam, hit the brakes
00:26Stanley does not have a mustache
00:30I misspoke
00:31I'm not sure
00:32I think he has one
00:33Now that, I think he has a mustache
00:35Okay, Phyllis sits across from him everyday
00:37Phyllis, does he have a mustache or not?
00:39Oh I don't know, now I think he doesn't
00:42Phyllis, what are you talking, the whole card depends on this
00:45Okay, the man has worked here for 25 years
00:47How can none of us picture his face?
00:49Cause we come here to do our jobs
00:50We don't stick our noses in other people's business
00:54Okay, which one of these looks more right?
00:56Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed
00:58Or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity
01:00That said, the one on the left
01:03Guys, that's the elevator
01:05What if it's him?
01:06Okay, quick
01:07Who says mustache?
01:10Yep
01:11Who says no mustache?
01:20Ah!
01:21Yay!
01:23He does have one
01:24Yes!
01:24Boop, boop, beep, pop
01:25Welcome back, Stanley
01:38Good morning Robert, says no one, because our receptionist is in Florida
01:50Pam!
01:50Oh!
01:52Is this a video conference you're having with Drake featuring Swizz Beats?
01:57Um, no, I was just having a cup of coffee, kind of warming up for the day
02:01People, you should come to work already warm
02:04Nine to ten a.m. is the most productive potential that a human being
02:09Sorry, sorry everyone, I'm late
02:10But you are all here, so no harm done at all by my lateness
02:14Now he really, 9.50
02:17Oh, here's what happened
02:197.46, my alarm clock goes off, I hear it
02:22Whack the snooze
02:23Nine minutes
02:24Bzzz
02:25Off it goes again
02:26Whack
02:28Seven more times I did that
02:30Bzzz
02:31Whack
02:31Bzzz
02:32Whack
02:32By the time I got up it was ten minutes ago
02:35No willpower, that is my curse
02:38I've never believed willpower was very important in a woman
02:43I don't think you would have shown up to work nearly an hour late for no reason
02:48Oh, I assure you I would have done
02:50I did
02:51And I will keep doing it
02:53No, no, no, no, no, there's something going on, some stress in your life
02:56Well, yes, there is the whole moving to Scranton nonsense
03:02Thirty boxes arrived yesterday from England and two trunks from Florida
03:07Then I have to move into my apartment in this dreadful, God knows where it is, backwater suburb of a
03:14suburb
03:14I mean, no offence, but are there a lot of Irish people living around here?
03:19Yes
03:20Ugh, I hate that
03:22No offence
03:23None taken
03:24Actually, Nellie, this monologue you're delivering is very offensive
03:27Oh, ay caramba, the natives are getting restless
03:30Who's a native?
03:32Excuse me, the tone here is getting quite hostile
03:35I would appreciate it if you would keep that stuff on the basketball court
03:39What does that mean?
03:40Okay, okay
03:41You'd let me finish, or the squash court, or the supreme court
03:48Hmm?
03:49Nellie
03:50Yes, Robert
03:51You're clearly under a lot of stress with the moving and the work situation you've found yourself in
04:00Yeah
04:00Let's help her out, shall we?
04:03Go above and beyond today to show her some of that warm Scranton hospitality
04:10Jim, Dwight, take the day, help Nellie move those boxes into her new place
04:17Why Jim?
04:18The rest of you, let's throw a party at the end of the day to welcome the newest member of
04:24our little community
04:26I'm sorry, we're throwing a party for someone because they're being horrible?
04:30I'm sorry, we're taking work time to move someone's personal belongings into their new apartment
04:34I'm still not sure why this woman is even here
04:36Why is she here?
04:38Two crazy kids on the road with my new girlfriend
04:43But, first, a small pit stop to break up with my current girlfriend
04:47Who is at her parents' cabin in southern Pennsylvania
04:50To let her down easy
04:51Oh, no, no, I meant that must be nice to have parents
04:54Oh, hmm
04:56Time to have a little kiss
04:59No
05:00Hmm, sorry, right
05:01No kisses till the breakup is official
05:03Yes
05:04I believe in that
05:05Yes, so do I
05:05That's important
05:06That is important
05:07Bummer
05:07But important
05:08Important
05:10I can't believe he's making us throw a party for her
05:13I know, right?
05:14She's always late, she's always rude
05:15Kinda makes me want to throw a really bad party
05:17Yeah
05:18On purpose
05:21Phyllis
05:21Oh
05:23We should do it right here in the break room
05:27Art or carrot cake
05:32And Jessica, just so you know, this is way more about my love for Aaron than anything wrong with you
05:37Well, Andy, I'm upset, but you did this in the best way possible, and I knew you as a lover
05:44And I'll remember you as a gentleman
05:46Okay, that was one minute and ten seconds
05:49Consider it nailed
05:50Bam
05:51Hmm
05:51I think we should try it again, this time, worst case scenario
05:55Okay, here we go
05:56Jessica, I'm really sorry, I just need you to know something
05:59What?
06:01I just need you to know that
06:02I didn't sleep well last night
06:09Oh
06:11Ow
06:12Nellie, that reminds me, do you want this chair in the bedroom?
06:14Because to be honest, I don't think it's going to fit through the door
06:16Don't listen to Jim, have you ever seen him play Tetris?
06:19Oh, I think I'll just use this line horizontally
06:22Oh, I have no idea what a gift this line is
06:24That was one time
06:25I will get the chair in
06:26Watch the great Troutini work his magic
06:29Oh, no, really? Magic? No, no, no, let's not go there
06:32No, nothing is more repellent than magicians
06:37Bunch of grown men waving wands, pulling bunnies out of body crevices
06:41Magicians are repulsive next topic
06:44Excuse me, one second one
06:47Hi
06:48Hey, what's up?
06:49Oh, nothing, just hauling some cube with Dwight
06:51Hauling cubes!
06:53That's moving boxes, we just came up with the term to make it sound cooler
06:56So we're planning this party for Nellie, and we're going to make it really bad
07:01Sounds like every other party
07:02No, we're going to make it like a prank
07:04Like order bad food, give her this passive-aggressive card
07:07Oh! Hire a magician
07:09What?
07:11Trust me
07:11Okay
07:19Wow, there's a lot of cars here
07:22This is just weird
07:26Andy
07:28Hey, what are you doing here?
07:30Hey Lauren, look at you
07:31Hey Lauren, look at me
07:33I was just on my way back from this business trip, thought I'd stop and say hi to Jessica
07:37Aww
07:38Why is Erin with me? That's a great question
07:41She is my co-worker, and she needed a ride because she totaled her car
07:45Oh God
07:47So, I'm Erin
07:48Yeah, this is Erin
07:49Nice to meet you
07:53Well, Jess went out for a run, but she'll be back soon
07:56Mm-hmm
07:57Hey ladies, Andy's here
08:01Okay, Andy, that is a bachelorette party, this is Jessica
08:05You know, we had such a quick window to make this work, I think we should probably just
08:09Oh Jess
08:10Look who stopped by after her business trip, Andy, hey
08:16I wonder if king-sized sheets are called presidential-sized in England
08:21I really should have a tweeter account
08:22Yes, you should
08:26Ooh
08:28Nelly, don't open stupid, love Nelly
08:31I have to see these shoes
08:32I doubt that they're sho-
08:35Whoa
08:38Who is this guy?
08:40Here's the two of them taking a hike
08:42I'm guessing he's some kind of friend
08:45Boyfriend
08:46Here's the two of them kissing at a beach and kissing at the Eiffel Tower
08:50I'm guessing he's some kind of close romantic friend
08:53Like a boyfriend?
08:55You read my mind
08:56Yeah
08:58Whoa, here's the one with his face wiped it out
09:00Hmm, maybe someone threw a pie in his face
09:03New theory, he's a hated Italian politician
09:05Better theory, this is her ex-boyfriend and they went through some kind of painful break-up
09:10Oh
09:10Oh
09:11I'm so sorry, we were just
09:14I see you've discovered Benjamin
09:16That's why I call my box full of photos of Henry
09:19Why not call?
09:22Shhh
09:23God
09:24We owned this flat together
09:27Then one morning, just like that, he was gone
09:30He ran off with the waitress at our favorite restaurant
09:32That's awful
09:35What kind of restaurant, Dwight?
09:38I couldn't afford the flat myself
09:39So I sold it at a loss
09:41Ah, but what's ten years of bliss down the drain compared with the thrill of starting over with nothing and
09:47no one?
09:48I'm so sorry, these must be very painful memories
09:51If it would help you to forget
09:53I could hit you in the brain stem with this candlestick
09:57Thank you
09:58No
10:01Look, Jim, Dwight, please
10:05Don't tell anyone about this
10:06No, no, of course
10:08Just one quick question
10:11Was this, um, Halloween, or?
10:13God, no
10:15That's the most embarrassing thing of all of this
10:17What kind of fool gets her heart broken by a bloody stage magician?
10:24You know what, Pam?
10:24I was thinking maybe we should, uh, change course here
10:27Let's give up on all this mean stuff
10:28What? No!
10:29No, I just had this brilliant idea, everyone loved it
10:32You don't have a copyright on pranks
10:35I might be better at this than you
10:37No, that's not what I
10:38Jim, could you give us a hand?
10:39Absolutely
10:39Yeah
10:40Call it off, Pam
10:41Call it off, okay?
10:43It's way more complicated than you think
10:44Cancel the magician
10:45Trust me
10:45Oh, okay
10:47Okay, I will
10:51Anyway, that's a great idea
10:53Pam, we had a great idea
10:55Listen to this
10:55We're gonna have the fluorescent lights flickering
10:57It's gonna make everyone sick
10:59Or what if
11:00Okay
11:01We discuss
11:03The idea of doing the party
11:06Totally normal
11:08Like, not mean
11:10Just a regular party
11:12Not mean
11:14I knew she'd crack
11:15I wanted to leave you out, you know
11:16We're in far too deep
11:18We can't change course at this point
11:19What are you talking about?
11:20Of course we can
11:21What I mean to say is we don't want to
11:23Toots, we're not stopping this train, so get off the tracks
11:27Suck it
11:30Andy
11:31It'll be fine, just act natural
11:33Do you want a gummy penis?
11:35No, I'll just have some gummy bears
11:37These are delicious
11:38But they're penises
11:41And we come to Matthew
11:42The guy who was with his old girlfriend
11:44Basically the whole time we were together
11:46Oh no
11:47Ew
11:48Oh, that seems gross
11:50At first blush, right?
11:52But relationships are always more complicated than you think
11:56I mean, we don't know Matthew's history with this other woman
11:59Maybe she saved his life
12:01I don't know
12:03I just, I don't think we should rush to judgment about Matthew
12:06Maybe we don't pop that one
12:07No, pop it
12:08Pop it
12:09Pop it
12:09Pop it
12:12Hey
12:13Hey
12:14Sorry, it's kind of a madhouse
12:18Megan
12:19You are one of the good ones, Nard Dog
12:21Aw
12:22No, really? I mean, where's my Andy?
12:24Aw, he's out there
12:25Aw
12:27Are you gonna sing for us?
12:28Well, you guys are doing a pretty good job with the scary yelling, so
12:32It's not like you, that's not like you, come on, sing, sing!
12:37Bayon Pawnee Banks and Bayon
12:40Come on, if you guys are gonna be mean, can you at least be subtle?
12:45Oh, in the warehouse, we'd use code names for people we wanted to talk about
12:49Andy was Jelly Roll, Mike was Dennis the Menace, Ryan was Douchebag
12:55Hey, that's not a code name, that's just an insult
12:57Plus everyone would know who you meant
12:59Yeah
12:59No, that's a great idea
13:00Yes, let's have a code name, how about Mondays?
13:03I hate Mondays, Mondays are the worst
13:05Nobody's named Monday
13:07Hey, how about we go with Pam?
13:09Simple, easy to remember
13:10Cause there's someone already here named Pam
13:12Shh, here she comes
13:14Hey!
13:15Welcome to your party
13:17Everybody get comfy now, this first song's over a half hour long
13:27Best gig ever, they asked me to play only originals
13:30I said, have you heard my originals, they're terrible
13:33They said, even better, I said, I get it
13:36It's an ironic party for Nilly
13:39Maybe we should just go
13:40No, I gotta do this
13:44Hey, Jessica, can I talk to you?
13:46Uh, yeah, sure, good job
13:47Maybe we can talk in private
13:49Uh, yeah, what is it?
13:52Um, well, first let me just say that I hope when I'm done with the sort of ugly bits that
13:58we can stay friends
13:59You're breaking up with me?
14:01Uh, no, no
14:04You always do this, you twist my words around
14:07Part of me thinks we should just end this right now
14:09Oh my god
14:12Are you leaving me for Erin?
14:14You said she wasn't relationship material and she wasn't as good as me, but it's her, isn't it?
14:18Whoa
14:20That, no
14:22Okay
14:23You want honesty? Super honesty time
14:26I'm gay
14:28What?
14:30I am gay and I prefer men
14:33I knew it
14:34You did not, Kenny
14:35You invited me to go shopping with you
14:37I like hanging out with you, you're a cool guy
14:41Which proves my point, that I'm gay
14:43Andy, you're not gay
14:45I mean, we were together and you seemed pretty excitable
14:51Well, I was faking it
14:52I had to fake it every time
14:55I had to imagine that I was in a steam room with John Stamos
14:58I can't say it doesn't make sense
15:03Well
15:04Look
15:05I mean, I was good at hiding it
15:06It's fine, Andy
15:08I didn't think we were going to get married or anything
15:11I just
15:13I'm just upset for now
15:14Understandable
15:16And I'm really sorry
15:17I really am
15:24So...
15:25We should probably go...
15:35This humble but sincere effort is all for our valued new colleague, excellent
15:42Tonelli Bertram
15:43Tonelli Bertram, you are a most welcome and friendly presence at our company
15:47Cheers
15:48Thank you
15:50Pam, on the other hand, is a most unwelcome, entitled and unfriendly presence
15:56That is terrific
15:56But, to be honest, every day I imagine how happy I'd be if Pam died
16:03Oh
16:05Well, I feel that as someone who knows Pam, only a little bit, enough, a good amount, not the most
16:14though
16:14I would say that she is misunderstood
16:17And then maybe there's some stuff in her past that you guys don't know about
16:21That's a little messed up and probably makes her such a torture to work with
16:25We hate Pam!
16:27We hate Pam!
16:28We hate Pam!
16:30We hate Pam!
16:31We hate Pam!
16:32We hate Pam!
16:32We've established that you guys hate Pam
16:35Do you ever wish she would just... disappear?
16:40Oh!
16:41Whoa!
16:42Whoa!
16:44Whoa!
16:44Huh?
16:45That was a really rough scene
16:46Right?
16:47Rough scene?
16:47Yeah
16:51At least we can kiss now
16:53Oh, yeah
16:59You know, that stuff that I said about you to her, I didn't... that's just... I had to see it
17:04You know, I was dating her at the time
17:06Yeah
17:08Yes, of course
17:11Oh, I feel really tired
17:13Yeah
17:14Probably from seeing that turkey
17:15Oh, yeah
17:16When we drove by the farm
17:17Yeah
17:18Ugh
17:19Always does it
17:27Are you Nellie?
17:28Oh, I think you're my volunteer
17:29Come on over here, huh?
17:33I'll do it
17:33I will volunteer
17:35No, Nellie...
17:36I'll do it
17:36Oh!
17:37Big guy, huh?
17:38How's the air up there?
17:39Watch out for... birds
17:44Alright, let's do some card magic
17:48Now, what I want you to do is
17:50I want you to pick a card
17:51Just by looking at it
17:53Do not say what it is
17:58Four of hearts
17:59Four of hearts
18:00Oh, no
18:00It's...
18:01Looks like we got a guy from another country here, huh?
18:05No hablo el cardo, senor?
18:08Hmm?
18:09Alright, the card is picked
18:10Now, sir, will you please shuffle the deck?
18:20You didn't just do that on a purpose, did you?
18:23Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?
18:26Little known fact about me
18:27Before I was a magician
18:28I used to work at a rope factory
18:32Not true
18:32Cause that's not a real place
18:34But I never could seem to figure out those knots
18:37That's not a real knot
18:39When you pull on it, it disappears
18:40What the hell?
18:41Alright, where's Phyllis? Who's Phyllis?
18:45Look, this is really uncool, okay?
18:49I put on a clean show here
18:51Okay, scram wizard
18:52What?
18:53You heard me
18:53Well, Nellie, I'm sorry if I'd known Jim and Pam
18:58Would use this party as an excuse to abuse a magician
19:01Well, I thought it was quite fun
19:04In fact, I think they're...
19:06Yes
19:06No, yes, I see that
19:09Great work, team
19:11Great party
19:12You think this is a great party?
19:15This cake has vegetables in it
19:18Like a salad bar, Robert
19:20How do I get this taste out of my mouth?
19:26What?
19:27Why are we...
19:28I just gotta do one thing
19:36Oh, hello
19:38Hey everybody, look who's here
19:39What are you doing here?
19:41Hi, super duper honesty time
19:44I'm not gay
19:46In fact, I'm so not gay that I'm in love with a girl
19:48Her name is Erin Hannon and she's right there
19:51She's sweet, funny and beautiful and total relationship material
19:57Oh my god
19:58Why the hell did you come back here?
19:59Go away
20:01Get lost
20:02Get out
20:02Okay, you're done
20:03Alright guys
20:04Go, go, go
20:05You ruined my party
20:06Go, go, go
20:07Who does that?
20:08Are you kidding me?
20:09What are you doing?
20:09Yeah, run away
20:10Run away
20:10You better run away
20:11You're disgusting
20:12I can't believe you're not gay
20:15Yeah, get out of here
20:16Don't come back
20:20Uh oh
20:22You don't even know how to drive
20:23Hi Andy
20:24Loser
20:24Nice car
20:32Hey Hank
20:33Yes ma'am
20:34I thought I was very specific about you not letting up a magician
20:38Yes ma'am, I got my eyes open
20:40Well, turns out he actually made it up there
20:43What?
20:44That ain't right
20:45Yeah, he came and went
20:48Wait a minute
20:49Wait a minute
20:50You said it was a magician, right?
20:52You don't think he could have used
20:54It couldn't have been ma'am
20:57It's just, it's just a cow
20:59Night night
21:21You're a king'd
21:22been a sick man Hey
21:22you're a king Hey
21:29you're a king Not
21:30a king A king
21:30targeting
21:30a king Superhuman
21:30Oh man
21:31Yes ma
21:34'am I feel
21:36like he could have been a chick I don't
21:36think that a man There's a
21:37crow
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