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Watch The Office Season 8 Episode 2 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025).
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00:05Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30C'est parti !
01:00Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
01:33C'est parti !
01:35Kevin, at most you're saving a microscopic amount of time.
01:41Many small time make big time.
01:44And what are you going to do with all this time?
01:46Sea world.
01:48Kevin, you can't possibly save enough time to see the world.
01:50Yeah, Kevin, are you saying see the world or sea world?
01:54Sea world.
01:56Oceans.
01:56Fish.
01:57Jump.
01:58China.
01:59No, see?
02:00Right there.
02:01That's the problem with your method,
02:03because I still don't know if you're saying sea world or see the world,
02:05and it's taking a lot of time to explain it.
02:07Fine.
02:09Fine.
02:10I'll talk normally.
02:12When me, president, they see.
02:17They see.
02:18They see.
02:19They see.
02:32They see.
02:47They see.
02:48They see.
02:50They see.
02:51This week, we are rolling out the brand-new Sabre tablet,
02:56The Pyramid.
02:57Ooh.
02:57Why is it shaped like that?
02:59So you can tell your clients, unleash the power of the pyramid.
03:03It's huge.
03:03How much does it weigh?
03:05Oh, no, no, no.
03:05Without the battery pack and the optional memory booster,
03:08it's barely three pounds.
03:09How much memory does it have without the booster?
03:1050 L.
03:11I'm sorry, L?
03:13Mm-hmm.
03:13How many L to a K?
03:14You're really gonna want the booster.
03:16How on earth are we supposed to sell?
03:17I'll take five.
03:18Andy, don't make us sell this stupid thing.
03:21Oh, no, no, no, no.
03:21This is Dwight's meeting.
03:22Thank you.
03:23I just wanted to pop in and get your opinions on ties and tie clips.
03:27Which combo do you think Robert's gonna like more?
03:29What do you think, C-SPAN?
03:33C-SPAN?
03:34Yeah.
03:35C-SPAN!
03:35Cocker Spaniel!
03:37Spaniel, because of your Spanish bloodline.
03:38Cocker, because...
03:41Is this really the best use of our collective time?
03:44I am still forming a first impression with Robert.
03:47Once it is formed, we can all relax, okay?
03:50I'm sorry to hijack your meeting, D-Dub Dog.
03:52Had to pull rank.
03:56Okay.
03:57Let's look at some ties.
04:00Here's how I'm gonna help out from now on.
04:02I'm going to not care,
04:03and I'm gonna sit around quietly waiting for Andy's inevitable demise.
04:09Your friend Neil Patrick Harris really made me laugh the other night.
04:12Um, D-Dog, you have a message...
04:14Aaron, you don't need to call him that.
04:16Andy wants us to, D-Dog.
04:17It's okay, E-Dog, just hook up.
04:19Justine.
04:20She said she's coming by later.
04:22Your ex-wife?
04:23Wait, I thought she was a and you hated her guts.
04:27No, no, no, no.
04:28I like her.
04:29Well, I'm just quoting you.
04:31I would never say that about her.
04:33I don't know the woman.
04:34No, man.
04:35We get along now.
04:36Real well.
04:37Wow.
04:37Alright.
04:38Can't wait to meet her.
04:39I'll introduce you.
04:41Yeah, we had a few fights, I suppose,
04:43but last night we put a lot of that to bed.
04:46I can't tell you what I did with my ex-wife last night.
04:50I have to sing it.
04:51We took a shower.
04:53We were naked.
04:57We...
04:58Scat-tap-tap.
04:59Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
05:09Hi, Dad.
05:11Uh, uh, oh boy.
05:14Hello, Andy.
05:15Excellent tie.
05:16Would you be requiring a cold beverage while you're here?
05:19I'd love some coffee.
05:21I was looking over your projections, and I think we can do better.
05:25Are you factoring in the whole national economy declining and all that?
05:31Andy, do you know why I chose you?
05:33I think I can sum it up with what I think is your favorite ice cream flavor?
05:38Vanilla?
05:39Vanilla?
05:40No, no, no.
05:41You'll never guess.
05:42In a million, billion years, you'll never guess.
05:45You were saying you chose me.
05:47There was a reason.
05:50Andy, can you inspire?
05:53Do you have that skill set?
05:56Can I inspire?
05:58I don't know.
06:00I don't know.
06:03Oh, thank you.
06:05Oh, sorry.
06:06Here, just put it down.
06:07Oh.
06:20That is very cold.
06:23Yeah, it's old.
06:26Why would I...
06:27I asked if you wanted a cold beverage and you said coffee?
06:30Why don't we get Robert a nice, hot, fresh cup and I will have this.
06:34Andy, you don't want that.
06:34I've been craving a freezing cup of old coffee.
06:38Mmm.
06:39Sorry.
06:42You like her.
06:46I do, yeah.
06:48She likes you.
06:49You know, we've both been into each other at different times and just never really synced up.
06:54Now we're in this weird dance.
06:55I'm afraid you've lost my interest.
07:00Let me call you back.
07:01I gotta go.
07:07If the office superstore was supposed to put us little suppliers out of business, why are we still here?
07:16Ah, this is where we go.
07:18You'd go someplace else.
07:19That's not it.
07:20That's not the answer.
07:21It's a answer.
07:22It's a wrong answer.
07:23There are no wrong answers.
07:24Take a look at where you are.
07:26Where you once worked in a dying industry, you now work at its birth.
07:33Those superstores are terrified of us.
07:37Anybody know why?
07:40Wait, they're terrified?
07:42Let me tell you how I buy something these days.
07:45I know what I want.
07:46I go on the internet and get the best price.
07:48Or I don't know what I want and I go to a small store that can help me.
07:54The era of personal service is back.
07:56You are back.
07:58You'll find that customers will pay our higher prices and then they will thank us.
08:04And we will say to them, you are welcome.
08:16Andrew, I chose you for a reason.
08:18Lead these people.
08:19Show me the best numbers this place has ever seen.
08:23Last quarter we saw 4% growth.
08:25Double it.
08:26You got it.
08:27Double.
08:28Done.
08:28I'm not kidding.
08:29Neither am I.
08:29It's already done.
08:31I'm just kidding.
08:32It's going to take some time.
08:33Double.
08:41Hey.
08:54What's up guys?
08:56Just thought we'd have a little rap session.
08:59Talk about business.
09:01See how things are going.
09:06Why don't you start?
09:07If no one else wants to.
09:09I was just thinking about Robert.
09:11Man, what a boss.
09:13Just throws down goals, you know.
09:16Anyway, how's the sales doubling project going?
09:19Yeah, how are we supposed to do that?
09:20We can't just press a magic button.
09:22Of course not.
09:23There's no magic button.
09:25You have to summon that.
09:28If we could just double our sales, we already would have.
09:31You're not making any sense.
09:32He brings up two good points.
09:34Do you have any new leads?
09:35Any new territories you want us to look into?
09:37Maybe have an in with a big client that we could get our foot in the door?
09:42Dwight, anything?
09:44We could talk about how fast children grow up.
09:46And before you know it, they're out of the house.
09:48You know what?
09:49We need to get our heads out of the box.
09:52If we did have something, what would it look like?
09:56What would it be?
09:57Tuna.
09:58New leads, a new territory to look into.
10:01Maybe an in with a big company that we could get our foot in the door?
10:06Fart.
10:09Good sesh.
10:12That leg's asleep.
10:17Hello.
10:19I'm looking for Daryl Philbin.
10:21Don't.
10:22Oh.
10:23You must think...
10:24No, I'm not.
10:25I'm using the facts.
10:26This isn't...
10:27No, wait.
10:27I'm not supposed to represent the company, right?
10:30There's usually an errand here.
10:32Okay.
10:33So...
10:33Daryl!
10:34A girl!
10:40What's up, darling?
10:43Everybody, this is Justine.
10:45Hello.
10:46Hi.
10:47Hi.
10:47This is Jim and Oscar.
10:50Hi.
10:51Everybody.
10:52Hello.
10:53Kevin.
10:54Hey.
10:55Hey.
10:57Hey.
10:58Hey.
11:04Hey.
11:05Good morning.
11:06I don't know what you did.
11:07I can barely walk today.
11:14D-Bone.
11:15There you are.
11:16Let me guess.
11:17Somebody needs a brownie.
11:19Lick the spoon?
11:20No.
11:20That's okay.
11:21I just...
11:22I wanted to ask you about...
11:24Is this about the profits?
11:25Because if it is, I just don't see the point.
11:27It's so Wall Street.
11:29I know, right?
11:31Yeah.
11:32Huh.
11:34Um...
11:34How is everything?
11:37Good.
11:38Really, really good.
11:39Must be a tough time to be a family farm.
11:41Oh.
11:41It is.
11:42And beets are not immune.
11:44We made some inroads in salad, but heirloom tomatoes are pushing back.
11:48Oof.
11:49What are you gonna do about that?
11:51I don't know.
11:51What do you mean?
11:52There's gotta be some way you can double your beat sales.
11:55You wanted the job?
11:55The job is yours.
11:56Just do the job.
12:00And I'll do mine.
12:04Walnuts?
12:05No!
12:12Have you seen this?
12:14Parenting?
12:14Yeah.
12:15This is CeCe's favorite magazine.
12:17She loves the pictures of babies.
12:18She looks at it when she's on the potty, and she makes the faces...
12:20Have you read it?
12:21Has an adult member of your family read this particular issue?
12:26I flipped through it.
12:28So you saw the article on the importance of taking frequent walks while you're pregnant?
12:32Of course.
12:33Yeah.
12:34I will be taking a morning walk and an afternoon walk.
12:37Would you like to join me?
12:38That sounds nice.
12:39Great.
12:42You have a walking buddy.
12:44I do.
12:46Thanks for coming in, guys.
12:47You don't have to thank us for coming in.
12:49It's our job.
12:49Well, I never got thanked for coming into a meeting, and I always wanted to be, so I'm going to
12:54thank people.
12:55What's under the blanket?
12:57This is what's under the blanket.
13:01We don't get it.
13:02These are incentives.
13:04It's how we're going to double growth.
13:05Now you're probably all asking yourselves, well, how does this work?
13:10Seems like a basic reward system where you give us points, and then we redeem those points for prizes.
13:15You're exactly right, and you get a point.
13:18Oh.
13:18Uh, is that a vibrator?
13:2020 points.
13:21How does one get a point?
13:22I've outlined the exact parameters in an email, so check your spam folders, but basically, you do your job better,
13:28you get points.
13:29So, collect 15 points and redeem them for this polar bear.
13:34Why is it all kid stuff in a vibrator?
13:36It's so gross.
13:37There's lots of stuff.
13:39John Irving, Collected Works, 22 points.
13:42Or, you can pool your points and redeem 55 for a gant.
13:46This point system is really insulting.
13:48Ooh.
13:49Well, I didn't mean to offend you, and I hope you'll forgive me, because I am very, very sorry.
13:5516 points.
13:56It's a tablecloth.
13:57What if we went all the way up to 500 points?
13:59Yeah, that's a crazy amount of points.
14:01But what if?
14:02Well, what do you want?
14:03I don't know. For such a crazy number, I'd like something.
14:07That's pretty good.
14:07What about, uh, for a thousand points?
14:10I'll run naked through the parking lot with a donut on my ding dong.
14:15Yeah, you like that?
14:16Alright, for 5,000 points, I will let you tattoo whatever you want on the stern of the old SS
14:24Bernard.
14:26Alright, alright, and you are totally serious.
14:28Swear to God, hope to die. Now let's get to work.
14:31Wait, but you did say we could pool our points, right?
14:34In that case, let's get to work, guys.
14:36Yeah!
14:38Good work, guys.
14:40Let's do it.
14:42I can have a tea by the beginning next week.
14:45Alright, thank you very much.
14:47Uh, Phyllis Bracken Otto.
14:49Asked for Donald, Karen's Bananas.
14:51Okay.
14:53Teabag bone.
14:54Andrew.
14:55Hold on one second.
14:58Have you noticed a little bit of a mood shift around here?
15:01No, I haven't noticed anything.
15:03Really? Because I sat next to Stanley for years?
15:06And this is nap time.
15:09Open eye nap time.
15:10He balances the phone on his shoulder and just powers it down.
15:12Now look at him.
15:13You've got to unleash the power of the pyramid.
15:16I don't know what to tell you, man.
15:18I can send you some email confirmation.
15:19You think it has something to do with that incentive program?
15:22Oh, 100%.
15:23We all want to see you tattoo your ass.
15:24Bleh.
15:26I think people thought I was kidding when I said that.
15:28No, you definitely weren't kidding.
15:29And that came across loud and clear.
15:31Oh, by the way, I want to hand this in.
15:33120 points.
15:34Yeah.
15:34Big sale.
15:35Don't worry about it, though.
15:36I don't really care about the points.
15:38I would like a point receipt, though.
15:39Hey!
15:40Yes, this is Jim Halper calling for Donald.
15:42Can you hold on for one second?
15:43Thank you very much.
15:45Who talked to Maggie at Kauffman's?
15:52And I'm back.
15:53How are you, sir?
15:55We can do that.
15:56I think you can squeeze a couple more golf games in, right?
16:05Hey, Kevin.
16:06What are you doing?
16:07Don't talk to me!
16:15Yeah.
16:17Hi, Professor Frank.
16:18Andy Bernard, class of 95.
16:20Hey there.
16:21I'm a huge fan of your management book.
16:24Management.
16:26Quick question.
16:27I may be missing a chapter here.
16:29De-incentivizing.
16:30What are your strategies?
16:31Looking for a real blow to morale.
16:34Why?
16:37Well, I guess you could say I'm in one of those classic ass-tattoo incentive situations.
16:55I'm ready.
16:57I'm not as big as you're drunk, I am.
17:00I like it.
17:02I like it.
17:02I like it.
17:02Do not re-susage it.
17:05Okay, keep in mind, it's not too late to choose another prize, and there are some great
17:10new additions, my car, for a thousand points.
17:15Or best offer.
17:16What else you got?
17:17Oh, and then this was Phyllis' idea.
17:19Oh!
17:22So nasty, Phyllis!
17:28We were hoping you could do something like this.
17:32So coming out of his butt is a-
17:34Baby.
17:35Baby.
17:35Yes.
17:37Yeah, no problem.
17:40We should think about this.
17:41Anyone have any better ideas?
17:43I like what we have.
17:45Yeah, nice try.
17:46Yeah, for sure what we have.
17:47It's fun.
17:47It's pretty good.
17:48Topical.
17:51We just need a second outside.
18:01Getting psyched up?
18:02Yeah.
18:03Andy, nobody really expects you to go through.
18:05Students.
18:06What am I doing here?
18:09Why did Robert pick me?
18:12Confession?
18:12I don't know what I'm doing.
18:15I mean, do you like it?
18:17You having fun?
18:20Tell you this, everybody else is having a lot of fun.
18:23And you did that.
18:25My ass is only so big, I mean, I can't do this every day.
18:28But I think it's big enough to buy you some time till your next great idea.
18:32Which, by the way, I can't wait for.
18:38No one expects me to go through with this, right?
18:40Absolutely.
18:41Well, let's ink my stink.
18:44Woo!
18:44Yeah!
18:46My heart belongs to music.
18:48But my ass belongs to these people.
18:52Whoa!
18:55Do your worst.
19:00Uh, you can keep your pants on, actually.
19:02If you just drop them down a bit, that'd be great.
19:04They're already off, my good sir.
19:06I'd really prefer they not be down.
19:08Well, I think down's better. Sweating pretty heavily down there.
19:16Do you think you could work from this?
19:18We made some small adjustments.
19:20Okay, you want me to...
19:20Just a few adjustments?
19:22Yeah.
19:23All right, let's begin.
19:24This is where I grin and be-
19:26Ow! Ow!
19:27That was just a cotton swab.
19:28Invest in softer cotton, sir.
19:35Ow!
19:36Oh!
19:37Oh!
19:42Obviously, you can go the ass-tattoo route.
19:45And obviously, I'm gonna like it.
19:48Draw some blood!
19:49Oh!
19:51Ah!
19:52Ah!
19:58Why did I choose Andy to run the office?
20:01Because he's all surface.
20:04Uncomplicated.
20:05What you see is what you get.
20:06Could be a recipe for mediocrity, yes.
20:09But then again, it might just be why people fight for him.
20:15It's a nard dog!
20:17Ah!
20:19That's my nickety name!
20:21Yeah!
20:22I love it!
20:23I love it!
20:24Pull over your pants.
20:25There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional.
20:36What should we talk about?
20:38Well, we could talk about an ethical dilemma I'm having.
20:41Oh, yeah, sure.
20:42I hope I can help.
20:43A co-worker of mine is drinking caffeine while pregnant, and I don't know if I should call
20:48social services about it.
20:49Angela, that's pretty transparently me.
20:52Maybe.
20:53You know, it's just herbal tea.
20:55And mugs with trace amounts of coffee.
20:58Yeah, I think you should call social services.
21:01I already did.
21:04You know, maybe we should just have our own pregnancies and not pretend like we're in this
21:08together.
21:09Fine.
21:10Fine.
21:12Thank you.
21:16Bye.
21:40Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
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