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00:26Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30No, no, no. You're way off on that one.
00:32Are you really comfortable standing there?
00:34I tried one of those, and I just couldn't find the sweet spot.
00:41Hey, guys, let's just all admit it, okay?
00:43Dwight's better than us.
00:44He had the guts to stop sitting,
00:47and he's never, ever going to go back on it, right?
00:50That's right, Jim.
01:01Hey, man.
01:02Hey.
01:03Taking the load off, huh?
01:04No, putting the load on, more like.
01:06Good luck with that.
01:08Last thing I need is luck.
01:15Thank you so much.
01:33What are you up to?
01:35Oh, look out.
01:35What are you doing?
01:38Give that back. Come on.
01:39Prank.
01:41Oh, that's real creative.
01:42You know what? You're right.
01:43It's not my best,
01:44because you could easily just bend over and pick that up, right?
01:46I could. I just don't feel like a loser.
01:48Because you're sitting?
01:49Standing.
01:49Okay.
01:50Don't.
01:51Because you're sitting?
01:52Standing.
01:53You know I have to do this.
01:55I know.
02:19Andrew Baines Bernard.
02:23I think you could just do Andy Bernard.
02:26Andrew Baines Bernard.
02:28I love filling these out,
02:29because it's like,
02:30oh, I'm taking a test,
02:31but I know the answers.
02:33In four seconds,
02:34my wife is going to be coming through that door.
02:37I told her she can work here under no circumstances.
02:40She cannot be allowed to happen.
02:43There you are, honey.
02:44How on earth did you miss the elevator?
02:47What was that?
02:48I don't know.
02:48He wasn't talking to me,
02:49but if I were you,
02:51I wouldn't hire his wife.
02:53That's why my foundation,
02:55the Dream for a Wish Foundation,
02:56is going to put them out of business.
02:58They're not going to know what hit them.
03:00Everyone,
03:01I'd like to introduce my wife,
03:03Mrs. Robert California.
03:05Mrs. California,
03:05this is everyone.
03:07Hello.
03:08Welcome.
03:08Come to Susan, please.
03:10Last night at dinner,
03:12Susan and I were talking about her returning to work.
03:15So she's here today
03:17to see if there's a good fit.
03:19Something tells me it just might work out.
03:22This is Andy Bernard,
03:24the regional manager.
03:25Hello, nice to meet you.
03:26Hey there, it's a pleasure.
03:28Welcome.
03:28Thank you.
03:29Andy, would you be so kind
03:30as to show Susan around the office,
03:33introduce her to various departments,
03:35find a place where she'll shine?
03:37I would love to,
03:38but I have to be completely honest with you guys.
03:42We're 100% staffed up.
03:46Andy, let's see if there's a good fit first.
03:48Then we'll talk.
03:53All right.
03:55Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.
03:57You don't have to say it if you're doing it.
04:00Remember how you said
04:01that you were looking for a place
04:02in the office
04:03to do calisthenics and aerobics?
04:07Uh, weightlifting, yeah.
04:09Well, today's your lucky day.
04:10I have opened,
04:11in this very office building,
04:12Dwight Schrute's gym for muscles.
04:15Want to take a look?
04:16I'll take a look.
04:17Your path from obesity
04:19begins right here.
04:22I've been meaning to join a gym
04:25for my health.
04:26I used to say I wanted to live long enough
04:28to see a black president.
04:29I didn't realize how easy that would be.
04:31So now I want to live long enough
04:32to see a really, really gay president
04:35or a supermodel president.
04:37I want to see all the different kinds of presidents.
04:40Obese people in my office building
04:41are a drain on resources.
04:43Chairs wear out faster.
04:44Takes more Freon to keep them cool.
04:46They flush the toilets more often.
04:48Plus, their massive BMs bust the rivets on my pipes.
04:51But a gym turns fat into cash.
04:56All right, the DM Express is pulling out.
05:00Bitch.
05:01We will start here at Aaronville.
05:05Hi.
05:06Reception, your classic one-man operation.
05:09Although, I was watching a movie
05:10and Meryl Streep had two secretaries.
05:12I was watching a movie
05:13and a bunch of apes took over San Francisco.
05:15Just saying.
05:16Two secretaries could convey a sense of importance
05:20and success to our clients.
05:22Certainly worth exploring, wouldn't you agree, Andy?
05:26I'll explore exploring it.
05:28Good.
05:28Seems like you have this under control,
05:30so I'll just duck out and run the company for a while.
05:38Okay, next stop on the tour, sales.
05:41Here we go.
05:42Station stop, Jim Halpert.
05:44Oh, boy, a resident truth-teller.
05:46All right, have at it.
05:48Let it rip.
05:48What do you hate about this place?
05:51Well, it's sales,
05:53so you have to be able to live in the world of rejection.
05:55Maybe you do.
05:57Hi, I'm Dwight.
05:59Sales is really not so hard, okay?
06:01It's paper.
06:02We have it, and they want it so bad
06:04they are willing to pay for it.
06:06Jim?
06:07Well, it's not that easy.
06:09It's kind of sometimes difficult.
06:11It's the second easiest job in the world, being a mom.
06:14I love shopping,
06:16and sales is just the other side of that.
06:18That's true.
06:20You know, if you joined our sales department,
06:24you would be working very closely
06:25with our department head, Mr. Dwight Schrute.
06:28That's me.
06:29Dwight, why don't you tell Susan
06:31about some of your hobbies?
06:32Oh, survival skills?
06:34Mm-hmm.
06:34Ranking of animals?
06:36Maybe over a beer
06:37after she's closed her first sale.
06:40Mm-hmm.
06:42Well, make that a red wine,
06:43and I'll tell you my animal rankings.
06:48Oh, how am I supposed to pull this off?
06:51The entire office is being nicer to her
06:53than they've ever been to me.
06:54What I wouldn't give
06:55for one of Phyllis's classic
06:56room-clearing farts right now.
06:59Ready?
07:04What do you think?
07:05Huh?
07:06Um, no.
07:07No, this is not a gym.
07:09This is like a scene out of Saw 5.
07:10You haven't even looked around yet.
07:12Look.
07:13Gravel bucket squat yoke.
07:19Right?
07:23Dedicated phone book ripping station.
07:27You ever cut tin before?
07:28No.
07:29Five yards in,
07:30and your forearms will be on fire.
07:32Plus, I will buy the tin back from you
07:34that you cut for two cents a yard.
07:37Now, let's go over membership.
07:39I'm gonna need the first months
07:40and the last months up front
07:42for $49 a month,
07:43but every third month
07:44is $59 a month.
07:46But the fourth month
07:47is a discount month
07:48at $19 per month.
07:50Obviously,
07:51you know how a gym works.
07:52So you know
07:53I'm not gonna pay money for this.
07:55You want people to come to your gym?
07:57Make a real gym.
07:59Daryl.
08:03Make a real gym.
08:04I was thinking
08:06accounting might be a good fit
08:07because I really clicked with Oscar
08:09and I do have some experience
08:10with bookkeeping.
08:11But we already have
08:13a surplus of accountants as it is.
08:15I would work in customer service,
08:17HR even.
08:19Those are fully staffed as well.
08:21Are you telling me
08:21that there is no one
08:23in this entire office
08:24that could use
08:25an extra pair of hands?
08:28Yes!
08:29I am the CEO
08:30and I am telling
08:31an employee of mine
08:33what to do.
08:35Let me beat around the bush
08:37for a second.
08:38Our chairman of the board
08:39has some very strong feelings
08:41about me.
08:42Robert, it's all right.
08:42This is very uncomfortable.
08:45Obviously, there's no
08:46place for me here.
08:47So, thank you for trying.
08:49Why don't we just let it go?
08:49No, absolutely not.
08:51Andrew, there must be
08:52something you can do.
08:53There must be.
08:54Think.
08:57Well, there are a lot
08:57of considerations.
08:59I would be
09:01eternally grateful.
09:04It's not a bad thing
09:05to have the CEO
09:06owe you one.
09:11All right.
09:12Well, then welcome aboard.
09:15All right.
09:22So, what happens next?
09:23We get you over to HR
09:25and then get you set up
09:27with accounting.
09:29Hang on.
09:30Hello?
09:31Say hello, Grandma.
09:34Hi, Gam Gam.
09:36Hold one finger up to Susan.
09:38You'll just be a second.
09:41You numbskull.
09:42You were given
09:42a very simple task.
09:43I could not have been
09:44more clear with you.
09:45Why can you not say
09:46exactly what I tell you?
09:48Undo this.
09:50Undo it.
09:55You didn't say goodbye
09:56to your grandmother.
09:57We promised
09:58we'd never say goodbye.
10:04Attention!
10:05I am now accepting
10:06memberships for the
10:07Dwight Schrute
10:08Gym for Muscles.
10:09First 20 members
10:10can take advantage
10:11of our
10:11pay-what-you-weigh
10:13promotion.
10:13All I need
10:14is another gym.
10:15As if I don't
10:16have enough drama.
10:16We have a gym at home.
10:18It's called
10:18the bedroom.
10:19Who's spotting who?
10:20Don't use the bike
10:21in the corner.
10:22That's Bruce's.
10:23Enough, Oscar.
10:24Enough.
10:25Kelly?
10:26I have these sneakers,
10:26which are basically
10:27just like a gym
10:28for your feet, so.
10:32That's okay.
10:33I know how
10:33to build a business.
10:34You gotta get
10:35the black people
10:36to do it
10:36to get the white
10:37people to do it.
10:38Then you gotta
10:39get the black people
10:39to stop doing it.
10:41One step at a time.
10:43Did you bring
10:43your passport with you?
10:45Who walks around
10:46with their passport?
10:46Well, I do.
10:47Always ready
10:48for adventure.
10:49Have you had any?
10:50No.
10:56Hey, uh, guys.
10:58So, Robert doesn't
11:00want his wife
11:00working here,
11:01so now that she is,
11:02we have to
11:02drive her away.
11:04Andy, if you didn't
11:05want her working here,
11:06then why did you
11:07hire her?
11:08Oscar, it was a mistake.
11:11But one that can be
11:13fixed by all of us
11:14being mean to her.
11:15How can we do that?
11:17She's simply wonderful.
11:19This is all pathetic.
11:20I am not asking.
11:21I am ordering.
11:23How mean are we
11:24talking about?
11:25It would be great
11:25if she were gone by lunch.
11:27Erin, you're up.
11:28Find her a place to work,
11:29but not too comfortable.
11:30Got it.
11:30I know exactly
11:31which stapler to give her.
11:36Here you go.
11:41Um, do you think
11:42it would be possible
11:43to move to that desk
11:44over there
11:45because this seems
11:45a bit cramped
11:46and I don't have
11:47a computer?
11:48Oh, well,
11:48that's a sales desk.
11:49Yeah, you need to be
11:50over here with us
11:51accountants.
11:52Just sit here
11:53and be quiet.
11:55And if you have
11:56a question,
11:56just raise your hand.
11:58But I'm going to
11:59save you some time,
12:00sweetie,
12:01and give you
12:01the answer now.
12:04I don't know.
12:08No, I don't think
12:09we should be trying
12:10to make this place
12:10seem unpleasant.
12:11I think we should
12:12let this place
12:13just crush your spirit
12:14by itself.
12:14I mean,
12:15it knows what it's doing.
12:17Fitzgerald?
12:18Oh, wow.
12:20So cute.
12:21Oh, that is so cute.
12:22What?
12:24Oh, he's so tiny.
12:25Is he in a ladle?
12:26Yeah, he's in a ladle.
12:27It's adorable.
12:28How on earth
12:29did you get him in a ladle?
12:30He did it himself.
12:31Is that ladle stainless?
12:33Oh, stainless.
12:34Williamson, I don't know.
12:34Excuse me, waiter.
12:35there's a dog
12:36in my soup.
12:37It's not that kind
12:38of ladle.
12:39Thank you.
12:40Oh, let me see.
12:41Just the battery
12:42on these things.
12:43I'm sorry.
12:44I've got to recharge this.
12:46I get it.
12:48Last time I had a job,
12:49I remember I hated
12:50the boss's wife.
12:52Of course,
12:52she was married
12:53to Robert.
12:56Your employees
12:58don't seem
12:59to be taking
12:59to me.
13:01Andy!
13:05Andy,
13:06could you step
13:06in here, please?
13:08We'll fix this.
13:10What is going on?
13:12Please.
13:15Andrew,
13:15my wife
13:17has brought up
13:18an issue
13:19that requires
13:20your attention.
13:22so,
13:24if you'll
13:25excuse me,
13:25I should
13:26step out
13:26and get
13:27to the ATM
13:28before that
13:29homeless man
13:30sets up
13:30camp for the night.
13:37Okey-dokey,
13:39artichokey.
13:41You hate it,
13:42don't you?
13:43You do not want me here.
13:44Why would you say that?
13:45That's okay.
13:46I understand.
13:47I'm not sure
13:47how I would feel
13:48about having
13:48the boss's wife
13:49work for me,
13:50either.
13:50It's not that.
13:51Exactly.
13:52But it is something.
13:53Let's just say that
13:55if you don't want
13:56to work here,
13:57I am totally
13:57prepared to respect that.
13:58Why would you
13:59not want me
14:00working here?
14:00I don't know.
14:02I think I understand
14:05what you're
14:06going through.
14:07My husband
14:08can be a very
14:09difficult man
14:10to read,
14:11can't he?
14:11Yes.
14:14The dude
14:14is an enigma.
14:16Mm-hmm.
14:16So he is mixed
14:17up in this,
14:18isn't he?
14:18Uh,
14:19bleh,
14:20bleh,
14:20bleh.
14:21Got it.
14:25What do you
14:25think you're
14:26doing?
14:27Getting my
14:27sweat on.
14:28I build you
14:29this temple
14:29to the human
14:30body,
14:30and you're
14:31lifting what,
14:31five pounds?
14:32I just did
14:33like 35 minutes
14:34on a treadmill.
14:35I was watching
14:35you.
14:35You want to
14:36know how long
14:36it really was?
14:37No.
14:37Eight minutes!
14:38Dude,
14:39I'm going to
14:39be here all
14:40week, right?
14:41Five days a week,
14:42I figure I'll
14:42start slow.
14:43Is that the
14:44same philosophy
14:44you apply
14:45to buffalo
14:45wings?
14:48I want you
14:49to bring
14:49that same
14:50buffalo-wing
14:51passion to
14:51this gym.
14:52I'm going to
14:53make you look
14:54like LeBron James.
14:55It's LeJean
14:56Brains.
14:57That's what I
14:58said.
14:58Yeah.
15:00Get it right.
15:00I know.
15:01Cameras?
15:02Oh, still here.
15:04Terrific.
15:06Andy and I
15:06had a great
15:07conversation.
15:09and I just
15:10want to let
15:10you know that
15:11I am not
15:12going to be
15:13working here.
15:16Well, that's
15:17a shame.
15:17It just was
15:18one of those
15:18things...
15:19Is it?
15:20Because we
15:21talked about it
15:22and it seems
15:22like that might
15:23be what you
15:23want, which
15:24is fine.
15:24Wow, where
15:25did this come
15:25from?
15:26Did Andy
15:26say that?
15:27No, he did
15:28not, but I
15:28could tell he
15:29was struggling
15:29to understand
15:30what was
15:30expected.
15:31What's the
15:31struggle?
15:32He made a
15:32great call,
15:33hired a great
15:34person.
15:34You sure
15:34about that?
15:36Absolutely.
15:37No games?
15:38No games.
15:39Because Andy
15:40seemed to
15:40think there
15:41was some
15:41information he
15:42was not
15:42able to
15:42share with
15:43me.
15:43Enough of
15:44this.
15:44Enough.
15:45It's gotten
15:45way out of
15:46hand.
15:46Andrew, this
15:47is my
15:48wife.
15:48Whatever
15:49privacy you
15:50were trying
15:50to protect
15:51between us,
15:52I thank
15:52you for.
15:53But it
15:54is not
15:54welcome right
15:55now.
15:55Just be
15:56honest.
16:00Andy.
16:01Yes?
16:02Why do you
16:02keep looking
16:02at my
16:03husband?
16:03Andy, just
16:04answer the
16:04question.
16:05No games.
16:06No games.
16:09Okay.
16:10I mean, it
16:11was kind of
16:12funny, actually.
16:13Robert storms
16:13in, and he
16:14says, in four
16:15seconds, my
16:15wife's going
16:15to be in
16:16here.
16:16I told her
16:16she could
16:16work here.
16:17Under no
16:17circumstances
16:18can that
16:18be allowed
16:19to happen.
16:20Lying
16:20son of
16:20a bitch.
16:25Tell my
16:26wife you're
16:26lying.
16:28I am
16:29lying.
16:29I am a
16:30compulsive
16:30liar.
16:31That's not
16:31true, is
16:32it?
16:32No, it's
16:33not.
16:34I
16:35tell
16:35the
16:35truth
16:35most
16:36of the
16:36time, and
16:37I was
16:37just telling
16:37the truth
16:38about your
16:38husband.
16:39Jim
16:39knows, he
16:40was there.
16:40This is
16:41preposterous.
16:42Robert.
16:42Let's get
16:43Jim in
16:43here.
16:46Where's
16:47Jim?
16:47He's just
16:48rolled out
16:49and crawled
16:49out.
16:50Can you
16:50call security
16:51and tell
16:51him to keep
16:52an eye out
16:52for him?
16:53Time to
16:54settle this.
16:56Oh, wait,
16:57wait, wait,
16:57hold on,
16:57hold on.
16:58I just need
16:58to get
16:58through.
16:59Just real
16:59quick.
17:00Real
17:00quick.
17:01Okay.
17:08That's
17:08weird.
17:10Well, he's
17:11got to be
17:11around here
17:11somewhere.
17:21Ow.
17:23Ow.
17:24Ow.
17:31Creed, I was
17:32never here,
17:33all right?
17:33Okay.
17:34What about
17:35your friend?
17:37Oh, boy.
17:43This is
17:43my gym,
17:44my rules.
17:44You do
17:45exactly as I
17:45say, no
17:46questions asked.
17:47Yeah, I'm
17:48going to ask
17:48questions and
17:49I might not
17:49do what you
17:50say.
17:50First thing,
17:51we're going
17:51to stretch
17:52the pelvic
17:52bowl.
17:53Ready?
17:55Get down
17:55on the
17:55floor.
17:56Okay, I'm
17:56not doing
17:57that.
17:59Really?
18:00Too
18:00embarrassing
18:01for you,
18:01huh?
18:02You wish
18:02that every
18:02exercise was
18:03stretching
18:03around the
18:04gym like
18:04the Fonz?
18:05Well, how
18:05do you think
18:05the Fonz
18:06got so cool?
18:07He stretched
18:08his pelvic
18:08bowl.
18:12I didn't
18:12know Daryl
18:13joined.
18:13Looks that
18:14way.
18:15Nice pelvic
18:15bowl.
18:16Deep.
18:20Hello,
18:20Jim.
18:21No, no,
18:22no, no,
18:22no, no.
18:23No, no,
18:23damn it.
18:24Tuna!
18:24So, I
18:25think you
18:26know what
18:26we want
18:27to know.
18:28Do I?
18:29Yes.
18:30I know.
18:30I do.
18:31Jim, I've
18:33had a
18:33duff of
18:34your
18:34unhelpfulness.
18:35I really
18:35wish I
18:36could help.
18:36I'm not
18:37really sure
18:37how I
18:37can.
18:38For God's
18:38sake, did
18:39Robert tell
18:39you that he
18:40didn't want
18:41me working
18:42here?
18:42That's the
18:43thing.
18:44See, I
18:44didn't want
18:45to get in
18:45the middle
18:45of this.
18:46Still don't.
18:46But here's
18:48something.
18:48I feel that
18:50maybe if we
18:51take a step
18:51back, this
18:53is a simple
18:53case of
18:54anxiety to
18:56work with
18:56a spouse.
18:57I think we
18:58got ourselves
18:59an answer.
19:00I mean, that
19:00makes complete
19:01sense, right?
19:01Thank you all
19:02for a wonderful
19:02day.
19:03Perfect.
19:04Jim.
19:04Yes.
19:05Answer the
19:05question,
19:05please.
19:09I don't
19:09know what
19:10you want
19:10me to tell
19:10you.
19:11To be really
19:11honest, my
19:12wife works
19:13here, and I
19:14love it.
19:15She literally
19:16makes me work
19:16harder, she
19:17makes me smarter,
19:18she makes me
19:18remember why
19:19I'm here.
19:21In between
19:22us, she's on
19:23maternity leave
19:23right now, and I
19:24would love to leave
19:25this room and see
19:26her face.
19:26I would love
19:27it.
19:27I don't know
19:28how this helps,
19:29but it's just
19:30what I'm thinking.
19:30All right.
19:31Yes.
19:32All right.
19:33Great.
19:39Uh, yeah.
19:42Yeah.
19:48Thank you.
20:00Andy.
20:02Hey, this is
20:03California.
20:04Hey.
20:05Uh, I'm sorry
20:06about the position
20:07you were put in
20:08today.
20:09You know,
20:09honestly, we all
20:10wanted you to work
20:11there, except for
20:12him, especially
20:13me.
20:14Yes, I thought
20:15we really hit it
20:16off.
20:17Yeah.
20:18Well, different
20:19circumstances.
20:20Yeah.
20:21Who knows?
20:22Who knows?
20:23Maybe after all
20:24this settles down.
20:25Totally.
20:27It's a date.
20:29Hmm?
20:32You're nothing!
20:33You are so weak
20:34you call yourself
20:34a man!
20:35Huh?
20:36This doesn't help
20:36me.
20:37I don't respond
20:37to that kind
20:38of strategy.
20:38Okay, fine.
20:39Finish your set
20:40on your own and
20:41never come back
20:41to my gym again.
20:43Dwight, come back
20:44and spot me.
20:46All right.
20:47I'll help you.
20:49But first, you
20:50got to tell me
20:51what your goal
20:51is.
20:51What do you want?
20:52To push this
20:53bar up.
20:54No, because if
20:55that was the case,
20:55the bar would be
20:56up by now.
20:57What is your
20:58goal?
20:58Help me!
20:59What do you
21:00want?
21:01To look good
21:02for Val!
21:03Val Kilmer?
21:05I don't buy it!
21:06That doesn't make
21:06any sense!
21:09Wow.
21:10We figured out
21:11your goal.
21:13I am going to
21:14make you the
21:15buffest dude Val
21:16Kilmer has ever
21:16seen.
21:45Sous-titrage MFP.
21:55Sous-titrage MFP.
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