- 12 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Freddy, levantate!
00:04The f*** is a lizard-headed monster!
00:08Voy a dejarlo pasar porque todavía dormí.
00:12¿Qué botara Denise?
00:14¿Eh?
00:14Tú me dijiste que duerma, que lo piense, lo hice.
00:17Todavía no me gusta.
00:19No.
00:21What the fuck?
00:23Look, it's a cock in the morning.
00:24If I'm breaking up with anybody, it's gonna be you.
00:27You're not my grandma anymore.
00:30I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
00:35¿Qué está sonando?
00:37Grandma, I can't...
00:38Hello?
00:39¿Se empieza a llorar?
00:40¿Tú en el altavoz?
00:43Hey, it's Freddy.
00:47I know he had some fun, but it's over.
00:51I don't ever see you...
00:55Yo sé que fue difícil para...
00:58Pero a veces en la vida hay que hacer dolor a la gente.
01:06¿Qué the f***?
01:07¿Por qué te just break up with me?
01:14Grandma hit the wrong speed dial.
01:17¿No hay el número correcto?
01:18Yeah, don't bother, okay?
01:21She's gonna be gone for a week.
01:25Seriously.
01:26Whatever I did wrong, I can change.
01:28When I was a little boy
01:33About to hate you five
01:36My mother said I'd be
01:39I'm greater than male life
01:42Now I'm a man
01:45Now I'm a man
01:48Are we at the pool table?
01:59Uh, no.
02:01These are the salt and pepper sh-
02:03Chris picked out for his new restaurant.
02:06Those are cool.
02:07Yeah
02:08And most of his ideas
02:10Not practical
02:12I know he's excited about opening his own restaurant
02:26But he's all over the place.
02:29He's like a baby with a machine gun.
02:32Hey, aren't you kind of busy with your own place?
02:34Yeah, yeah.
02:35I know, but I'm just
02:36I'm just helping him out.
02:38It won't take too long.
02:39We're hiring a chef this afternoon
02:40And then it's to deal with your headness.
02:43Hey, does anyone want this?
02:44What is it?
02:46Well, you know how I decided to stop taking sleeping pills?
02:49I thought your doctor cut you off.
02:52You know how when we talk like big girls
02:54It stays between us?
02:55Yeah.
02:57Anyway, I bought one of these sound cubes to help you sleep
02:59But it's not soothing.
03:01It's scary.
03:02Allison, this is Halloween sound effects.
03:07I gotta get a new doctor.
03:10Hey, guys.
03:12Hey.
03:12Freddy, did you tell Sophia about the head-ticks I got from my new restaurant?
03:17Oh, no.
03:18I totally forgot.
03:19I'm sorry.
03:20Run.
03:20I'll explain.
03:22I'm sorry for being excited, alright?
03:24This restaurant's a big thing for me.
03:26It's the first thing I've ever done on my own.
03:27Oh, that's not true.
03:28You tied your shoes this morning.
03:31Actually, no.
03:32They're slip-on.
03:32Paces are decorative.
03:34So check it out.
03:35At my new place,
03:36Every customer will get one of these ear pieces
03:38So they can talk to their waiter.
03:40Here.
03:40Here.
03:40You be the waiter.
03:42I'll be the customer.
03:42This will be great.
03:43Please?
03:44Please?
03:45Okay.
03:46Alright.
03:51Ready?
03:51Oh, yeah.
03:52Yeah, okay.
03:54I'd like more bread, please.
03:58That's fantastic.
04:00Will these work if I go to my bedroom and lock my door?
04:03Yeah.
04:03I don't see why not.
04:05We should...
04:05Let's try it.
04:05Alright.
04:06Hey, uh...
04:10Can you handle some constructive criticism?
04:12Yeah, sure.
04:14That idea...
04:16Sucks.
04:20Let's...
04:20Each waiter has five tables.
04:23And each table has four people.
04:26That's up to 20 voices at one time.
04:30Now, here's what that's going to sound like.
04:32Ha!
04:40Okay.
04:44Let's do that one a maybe, okay?
04:46But how about this?
04:47How about this?
04:48Every table has a video camera pointed at it
04:51so the customers can watch each other eating.
04:55Alright.
04:56Now, there's a lot of good stuff in there.
04:58Yeah.
04:58I like that you had people sitting at tables.
05:03And...
05:04And...
05:05I like that shirt.
05:07Huh?
05:08Now, let's go hire you a chef.
05:12Uh, uh...
05:13Hey.
05:14Psst.
05:15Are you naked in your bedroom?
05:18Uh...
05:18Wow.
05:38You've worked at a lot of good restaurants.
05:40If by good you mean crap.
05:44All of them were beneath me.
05:46But I have eaten here.
05:47The food is...
05:48Fine.
05:52Okay.
05:52So...
05:53This place is going to be cutting edge.
05:55Here's one of the things I was thinking of for the menu.
05:57Uh...
05:57We put food in tubes
05:59the way astronauts eat.
06:00Who is this idiot?
06:07The idiot...
06:08Is Chris.
06:09And he's going to be the owner...
06:11Of the new...
06:12So I'm guessing this interview is over.
06:16Pretty much.
06:18Would it help if I told you I'm from Cleveland?
06:20Uh...
06:21Judging by this, you...
06:26You've been out of work for a while.
06:28I consider it more a sabbatical.
06:32I spent some time backpacking around Europe
06:35trying to find myself.
06:37Actually, I spent most of my time
06:38trying to find my backpack.
06:41I misplaced it on the third day of my journey.
06:45Well, did you study the cuisines of Europe
06:48while you were there?
06:48No, I couldn't afford to dine out.
06:51My traveler's checks were in my backpack.
06:56I think we're good here.
06:57We'll give you a call.
06:58Well, unfortunately, my cellular telephone...
07:02Backpack, got it.
07:06Okay.
07:07Now, the ten guys we've seen,
07:09three of them have the maturity
07:11and experience to handle the day-to-day details.
07:14Now, if it was me...
07:16I'd hire this guy.
07:19Hands down.
07:22His resume's good,
07:23but the guy was wearing mom jeans.
07:26No, I just...
07:27I want somebody cool.
07:29Hey, what's up, guys?
07:31I'm Spider.
07:32You're late.
07:33Oh, sorry about that.
07:35I woke up this morning handcuffed to this chick's nightstand.
07:41She was gone, so I had to pick the lock.
07:45Yeah, that's why you need one of these.
07:47It's a master key.
07:49It's...
07:50I had one of these in my pocket,
07:52but I left my pants in a taxi.
07:55Ha, ha, it's...
07:55I like this guy.
08:01Anyway, to make up for it,
08:03I come bearing gifts.
08:04This little market down the street
08:06has Malaysian figs.
08:08You can find these anywhere.
08:11All right?
08:12Huh?
08:12It's not very newtony.
08:13It's his restaurant,
08:17so get ready for a lot of that.
08:19I just had an idea.
08:24Check that out.
08:25You just created the fig-tini.
08:31Dude, I like that name.
08:33I was just gonna call it
08:33Martini with a fig.
08:35Nothing.
08:36I gotta write that down
08:37before I forget.
08:39Don't you love how you can play games on it?
08:41Yeah.
08:41I just got
08:42bass fishing.
08:44What?
08:45Dude, I've wanted that game.
08:47Dude!
08:48I'll beam it to you.
08:49Ha, ha, yes!
08:51Woo-hoo!
08:53Uh...
08:53Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:54Hey, uh...
08:55I never got your resume.
08:56Oh.
08:57Resumes are for bankers.
08:58I got stories.
09:00Are those stories, uh,
09:01about where you worked
09:03and for how long
09:04and who I can call to verify it?
09:07None of that matters.
09:08I'm getting a good vibe.
09:11I was Biggie Smalls here for a while.
09:13Before we started eating my food,
09:15he was just Smalls.
09:19Smalls!
09:21Chris?
09:22Yeah?
09:23Can I talk to you for a second?
09:24Sure.
09:24Hey, hey, hey.
09:25Smalls.
09:31Oh!
09:32Oh.
09:33Hey, uh, look,
09:34I-I don't think
09:35this guy is right, okay?
09:36He doesn't seem very responsible.
09:38Who cares?
09:39He's fun, man.
09:40We're going to have a blast hanging out with him.
09:43Okay, you're not hiring him to hang out.
09:46You're hiring him to run your kitchen and over to your staff.
09:49Yeah, but I need some who gets me.
09:51Chris, I'm trying to...
09:52I want a chef named Spider, and that's it.
09:55Hey, Spider.
09:57It's you and me, pal.
09:59Awesome.
09:59Awesome.
10:00Oh, hey, did you get that?
10:02Yeah!
10:10Hey.
10:14Hey.
10:16Oh, Freddy, hey.
10:18Are you going to play with us?
10:19Because I'm almost done beating down Chris.
10:21I could put the hurt on you, too.
10:24Please.
10:24I'll put it on you.
10:26Did you see my high score, Chris?
10:28Show him.
10:29Oh, he's seen it.
10:31Actually, he bent it over the TV and spanked it.
10:36But don't worry, you still have to...
10:37Hey, Chris, scroll down.
10:40Oh, it's going down.
10:41I am down.
10:43Oh, oh, oh, look at that.
10:46You're not up there.
10:51My bad.
10:53Oh, man, I got a...
10:55I got a congratulations.
10:58Oh, oh!
11:00Oh, I hope you saved that.
11:03Otherwise, it's like you never beat me.
11:08Hey, man, look.
11:09I know you never opened a new restaurant before, so I brought over some brochures and priceless
11:15I had on new kitchen appliances.
11:17Oh, no, no, no.
11:18We don't need that anymore.
11:19Spider's got a guy.
11:21Okay, well, we got the guy that did our restaurant.
11:24Why get a new guy?
11:26Because Spider's guy sells to all the other guys.
11:28There can be no higher guy.
11:32All right.
11:32Who is this guy?
11:34He doesn't really have a name, but he's got a pager.
11:40So, does this pager give you a written warranty and a number to call for repairs?
11:46Freddy, it's a pager.
11:48Of course it doesn't do that.
11:50That'd be cool, though.
11:51Yeah, it would.
11:51Hey, uh, you know, if I was going to be opening a restaurant in two months, I would be working on things.
12:04Freddy, we are working.
12:06Stop.
12:09Really?
12:09Because your work looks different than my work.
12:14We're doing research, dude.
12:16I had this idea where all the tables in the restaurants would be high-def plasma screens,
12:23and then people could play video games while they eat.
12:31While they eat.
12:33Okay, well, here's what I see.
12:36A restaurant full of 13-year-old boys spilling soda on your $10,000 plasma tables.
12:46Oh, oh, oh.
12:47Why don't you just call your place going out of business?
12:50That way, you don't have to buy a new son.
12:57Hey, what's all that stuff?
12:59It's, uh, samples for Chris's restaurant.
13:02How come the new chef's not helping him figure all that stuff out?
13:04Because he's an idiot.
13:06Look, it's like the blind leading the stupid over there.
13:12Well, Chris picked him.
13:14At least if it goes bad, he'll still have a lot of money.
13:16This isn't about money.
13:18Okay, this is the first time Chris has actually been passionate about doing something with his life.
13:23If he fails, it's going to crush his self-esteem.
13:27I can't let that happen.
13:28Well, just be careful.
13:31Remember when Zoe was three and she always called you Frebby?
13:35Yeah, she was stupid.
13:39Well, I could have said that to her, or I could have done what I did.
13:43Gently tell her it was Freddy until she finally got it.
13:45You have more story with no points than...
13:48Hey.
13:53Oh, Dan, Dan.
13:54Who are you?
13:56I'm sorry.
13:57I already have an uncomfortable relationship with him.
13:59So, uh, I hope this is important.
14:07We were just chasing my dog around the apartment.
14:10Well, I just have a few ideas here for the restaurant, and then you can go back to chasing your dog.
14:16Cool.
14:16All right.
14:17All right.
14:17Let's see what you got.
14:18Well, what I've learned is that there's three key things to making a restaurant great.
14:25food, service, and ambiance.
14:29Yeah, we're going to have all three.
14:30Mm-hmm.
14:33Okay, well, that's excellent.
14:35All right.
14:35Now, I know you guys are really into the look, so let's start there.
14:39Okay?
14:40Now, these are some colors that make customers feel relaxed and ready to eat.
14:45Now, there's taupe, moss, burnt sienna, bone, and taupe.
14:55What if the walls were all fish tanks?
15:00Okay, that'd be about a billion dollars.
15:03Yeah!
15:05Hey, hey, hey, are these the plans of Flipmaster, Trevor?
15:08Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's them.
15:10Now, it's just, uh, it's a rough sketch, but here's the basic layout.
15:15All right, now, you got the hookups here, okay, and the front doors right here.
15:20So, this is the area you have to work with.
15:25Okay, this is what I'm thinking.
15:27Okay, you move this here, then that here, and then these, and here, and here, and then this, this, and then this.
15:34Oh, there.
15:37Nice.
15:37Okay, uh, let's see what you got here.
15:44So, the customers will be entering through the oven.
15:48But, that, that could work, because they're gonna go through the walk-in freezer next.
15:59Then, you, you, you climb over the bar to get into the main dining area, and then it's, you know, of, of course, it's urinal table, urinal table.
16:07Okay, okay, okay, okay, look, look, just, just take it easy, man, all right, look.
16:12I'm a chef.
16:13All right, I, I didn't know what all the symbols meant to you.
16:15Are you a chef?
16:17I mean, do you even know how to cook, or are you just gonna tell the customers stories about food?
16:23You wouldn't understand.
16:25Okay, because, because my food is, is so innovative.
16:28And different.
16:30I mean, you, you, you, you can't put it into words.
16:33No.
16:33Okay, well, you're gonna have to put it into words someday, because, you're gonna have to put it on a menu.
16:45Gee, I don't, I don't need this.
16:48How much is this guy gonna be involved anyway?
16:50Well, he's, he's gonna be around, I mean, you know, he's my best friend.
16:55Well, your friend is a buster.
16:57I'm out.
16:57All right, wait.
16:58I'm out, I'm out.
16:58Spider, spider, spider, wait.
17:00Come on, man, please.
17:03Dude, Freddy, what are you doing, man?
17:06You just made him quit.
17:07I asked your chef what his menu was.
17:10I didn't think that was out of line.
17:12He gets my vision, all right?
17:14And, and, and how is this helping me?
17:16I open in two months, and now I don't have a chef.
17:19Dude, will you relax?
17:20You got me.
17:21Okay, now I'm gonna help you figure all this stuff out.
17:24You are gonna love your restaurant, okay?
17:27Now, come on, let's sketch this thing out.
17:29Show me, can we start from scratch?
17:33Nope, everything's where it should be.
17:35But there, there is room for your innovation, okay?
17:38Now, where do you want the host to stand?
17:45How about right there?
17:47And where else do you want it?
17:49Why are you even asking?
17:54Dude, you, you obviously don't care what I think at all.
17:58You've sh**ed on every idea that I've had.
18:00Dude, I'm covering your ass.
18:02You're not, you're trying to trade my ass for another one that you like.
18:06And it has to be Tope.
18:10Dude, this was supposed to be my restaurant, all right?
18:13Now you're messing it all up.
18:14I don't even want to do this anymore.
18:16Chris, this is still your restaurant, okay?
18:19Look at you, sitting right here at the bar,
18:24drinking a figtini.
18:36Wow, did you work on that thing all night?
18:48Yeah.
18:50Chris's restaurant turned out okay, don't you think?
18:53She looks amazing.
18:56Are those the walls from my old dollhouse?
19:03What happened?
19:06Look, they got evicted, okay?
19:11Then I don't want to hear another word about it.
19:17Is that my baby blankets?
19:20Zoe, I swear to God, I swear to God.
19:33Hey, what's going on?
19:34Uh, I made you something.
19:38Is it a bun cake?
19:41No, no, it's not a bun cake.
19:44You want to sit down?
19:45Oh, wow.
20:01Look at that.
20:02You got all my ideas in there.
20:03I did.
20:05You got the video game tables and the hot pink booths.
20:09The aquarium walls.
20:10Yeah, yeah, and look, the waitress, she has her headset on and the customers are sucking food out the little teeny tiny astronaut tubes.
20:20Why'd you do this?
20:25You were right.
20:27I mean, this is your restaurant.
20:28You should have what you want.
20:30I thought you said my ideas were stupid.
20:33Look, what do I know?
20:35Okay, all this high-tech crap is probably going to be the next big thing.
20:39Oh, thank you.
20:47Is that a little sewing machine?
20:49Uh, yeah, that's not supposed to be there.
20:53Looking good!
20:55Bye-bye.
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