- 1 day ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00hey it's official i just signed the paperwork to buy out the other partners and i'm ready to
00:08improve our restaurant got my big book of ideas what a coincidence i have my big book of who
00:14cares all right what do you got just one sec buy controlling interest in restaurant check
00:24make big book of ideas check check off ideas when they're done check you have get beaten with big
00:34book of ideas in there okay skipping down dining in complete darkness your food becomes a total
00:44sensory experience and you're gonna love this we hire blind waiters
00:47okay well we already have waiters so are you suggesting i fire them or blind them
00:58see that that's what i needed fresh eyes fresh eyes okay um monkey in a cage
01:08why what do you mean why we can't just let him run free
01:16no no why monkey at all because no other fine food restaurants have monkeys dude it'll get people
01:27talking oh yeah yeah they'll be saying hey did you hear about that restaurant where the monkey bit the
01:34lips off the customer hey grandma
01:39bueno me voy a la iglesia
01:42bueno pienso de que debo ponerme mi abrigo de invierno y salir al frÃo afuera el arma esperando el autobús
01:51gracias si logro llegar le voy a decir a denise que le mandas tus saludos
02:06what denise is gonna be there grandma don't fight me on this it's cold outside i'm driving you to church
02:15who's the virgin you are now get back in your damn room
02:27i love you sweetie
02:30okay you were right right i shouldn't have freaked out about the whole virgin thing
02:37yeah no one i've met lately has been as genuine and warm as denise was
02:42i should have tried harder to make it work out
02:45yeah you should have then i wouldn't have had to listen to you whine like a teenage girl
02:50oh i miss denise so much i'm afraid to call her because she might hang up on me
02:57i should have let chris put a monkey in the restaurant
03:02when i was a little boy
03:07about to hate you by
03:09my mother felt me
03:13greater than man like
03:15now i'm a man
03:18now i'm a man
03:21hey thanks for letting me come man this place is really
03:32this is really cool
03:35you know i've never uh done the confession thing before i think i'm gonna give it a shot
03:40no no no
03:41oh come on let me talk to the priest first i'll make you look way better i promise
03:47i i want to see if he uh if he really won't turn me in for murder
03:53ow ow ow ow ow
03:56por favor llévatelo este y deja de que alguien bueno viva
04:00oh wow
04:14denise looks amazing
04:16i think i think i just saw that statue of saint francis turn around to check her out
04:19boy would i love to have been a priest on the wall in that confession
04:24first it's a fly
04:28second her confession wouldn't interest you she's a virgin
04:34huh just like mary
04:36dude i wonder if anybody ever saw denise's face in a pancake in new jersey
04:40go get it stop it
04:45how's that pen that's going
04:54and deliver me from evil amen
05:00hello freddie
05:03hi
05:04how are you
05:06good
05:07a little surprised to see you at church
05:09yeah well
05:11just wanted to show father sorenson my maserati
05:14he always said i was going to hell and i just want to show him how i'm getting there
05:19yeah he really doesn't like you sometimes he uses you in sermons as a bad example
05:27i i get it like like he says there's this guy i know
05:32no no he says freddie moreno
05:34so what's going on with you
05:41uh not too much
05:43look i hope you're not upset with me i know the way things ended wasn't great
05:50freddie i'm fine actually i'm seeing someone
05:54really good for you
05:58yeah he's nice
06:00hey you can't go wrong with nice huh
06:02you can never return nice
06:04you never exchange nice
06:07you just keep it and it's nice
06:11oh i gotta go
06:17it was good seeing you
06:22yeah
06:22it was nice
06:24so what happened you asked her out right
06:35nah she's seeing someone
06:38like be messed up to go after
06:40should have never let her go
06:42dude hold on
06:43all right maybe she's not serious about this guy you know maybe he's not really boyfriend material
06:48there are some guys who are honorable and all you know committed like you
06:53and then there are there are the guys that jump from bed to bed because they're so hot that they can't
06:58i appreciate you trying to help okay but there's someone here who's a little more qualified to give advice on moral decisions than you
07:11hey father it's me freddie moreno is that how i taught you to begin confession
07:16bless me father for i am freddie moreno
07:24hey father it's me freddie moreno
07:30i'm freddie moreno is that how i taught you to begin confession
07:34bless me father for i am freddie moreno
07:38go on my son
07:40i just got a quick question it's kind of a moral issue
07:44you still shoplifting from manny's grocery
07:46i was eight and i gave the candy bar away didn't jesus say to rob from the rich and give it to the poor
07:56that was robin hood you idiot
08:00call me an idiot in confession
08:02call me an idiot in confession
08:05who's gonna live
08:06who are you gonna tell
08:08what's your problem
08:11well
08:12i was just wondering
08:14how wrong would it be in god's eyes
08:18if a man declared his feelings for a woman
08:21knowing that if he told her how he felt
08:24it could break up a serious relationship
08:27you tell me your sins
08:30i forgive you
08:31you know how this works at all
08:34i want to tell denise montoya i want her back
08:39but i don't know if she's serious about this guy she's dating
08:41has she told you anything
08:45oh hey
08:46this looks just like one of those photo booths
08:49get out of here
08:51denise is a parishioner i'm not talking about her
08:57what else you got
08:58how about this
09:00i'm gonna donate a thousand dollars to the church
09:04now if she's serious about this guy
09:06you ask for cash
09:08if she's not
09:11ask for a check
09:13freddie god loves you
09:17so i don't have to
09:19stay away from denise she's a good person
09:23eventually she's gonna find the right guy
09:24and it's not gonna be you
09:26so she hasn't found the right guy and you hate me
09:30thanks padre
09:32hey boss
09:37okay so let's say that i killed a guy
09:42hey do you know why there's a woman rubbing everyone at the bar
09:50yeah i hired a massage therapist
09:52i figured if people are relaxed
09:54they'll stay and drink longer
09:55freddie's gonna love this idea
09:56she's a hooker isn't she
09:59no she's a massage therapist she's fully trained and licensed in thailand
10:04oh so she's a fully trained and licensed hooker
10:13oh my god rose hey what are you doing back in town
10:16oh well the bakery in new york is doing fine so i thought i'd check on my shop here
10:23it is it's really great to see you
10:26and i mean that in a totally platonic i know we're just friends now and not trying to get in your pants
10:32kind of way
10:33so uh where's freddie
10:36he's uh he's not in yet
10:39he's gonna freak out when he sees you though
10:41yeah well i want to surprise him so don't tell him i'm in town okay
10:44sure
10:44okay here i gotta get back to the bakery hey chris
10:47yeah
10:47don't throw out the biscotti again they're not stale
10:50okay so i made those calls there are only two monkeys in chicago who play the trumpet
10:56but only one of them keeps his pants on
10:59all right i did it i got denise coming down to the restaurant now i'm gonna surprise her with a romantic dinner
11:08i'm gonna tell her how i feel and if she feels the same way
11:11we'll take a carriage ride around the gold coast and then she'll go home and dump her boyfriend
11:16god it's like a fairy tale
11:19except in the end snow white puts a bullet in sleepy's head
11:23freddie
11:25grandma what are you doing here
11:28la abuelita de denise me dijo de que venia esta noche
11:31quiero asegurarme que no lo valores
11:32i won't
11:34but you might want to tell denise's boyfriend
11:38dude why did she bring him
11:42didn't she know it was a date
11:44i didn't say it was a date
11:48i was trying to be subtle
11:49bien hecho
11:52hey denise
12:02hey freddie
12:04this is the guy i was telling you about
12:06james this is freddie
12:07hey you know your timing was perfect i was looking for a special place to take denise tonight
12:13i'm looking forward to having a great meal
12:15thank you
12:17yeah you know denise told me that that you're nice
12:20so i'm looking forward to
12:22wow this is gorgeous
12:34yeah we're testing out new more romantic tables
12:38so if you're more in love at the end of the night please
12:43tell your waiter
12:46can you believe this
12:51dude
12:52i can get the boyfriend out of the way
12:54alright
12:54i'll just arrange a little accident with one of my segwaiters carrying a tray of flaming cherries jubilee
13:01whoops
13:03segwaiters
13:06segwaiters
13:08get off the segways now
13:18okay
13:20segwaiters
13:22just smoke
13:22oh come on what is it you don't like about this one
13:28oh what's not to like
13:29it's an idea that just screams and there were no survivors
13:33okay
13:45so you're not gonna do anything
13:47no
13:48dude she brought her boyfriend
13:50she's obviously
13:51sending me a message
13:53right come on
13:54she still wants you
13:55she brought the guy to make you jealous
13:57it's a classic chick move
13:59look even if she did
14:01and she didn't
14:02couldn't say anything in front of him
14:04how would you like it
14:06if you were out on a date
14:08and i walked up and told your girlfriend i wanted her back
14:10i didn't like it at all
14:12either time
14:15dude come on
14:19you gotta tell her how you feel
14:20you think i don't want to
14:22i learned my lesson with rose
14:24okay i was crazy about her
14:26and because i didn't say anything
14:27i lost her
14:28denise is clearly into this guy
14:31so
14:32i'm out
14:34hey mrs moreno
14:38james this is freddy's grandmother
14:43how do you speak spanish
14:44i'm sorry i don't speak spanish
14:48oh y
14:49thank you
14:50mary
14:52mary
14:52mary
14:52mary
14:52mary
14:53mary
14:54mary
14:55mary
14:55mary
14:56What?
15:21You did what?
15:22You told her that in front of her boyfriend?
15:25She did.
15:27Okay, I didn't tell her because I didn't want to say anything that might screw up her relationship.
15:32But since you did, what did she say? How does she say it?
15:35Does she giggle and flip her hair back?
15:39Dude, check it out.
15:43He's crying. Denise did it. Dude, she's breaking up with him.
15:46Are you kidding me?
15:48I'm sorry, I'm getting so emotional.
15:52Denise.
15:55Will you marry me?
15:59I can't believe she's doing this.
16:01You think she told him about me?
16:03No, that's very cruel.
16:05She wouldn't do it.
16:06I would do it.
16:07I would do it.
16:08But men have made me suffer.
16:10James, I don't know what to say.
16:14You're a sweet man, but you're proposing, and we've only dated a month.
16:21I mean, I'm sure there's a woman out there somewhere who wouldn't think that's insane.
16:26Are you that woman?
16:27No.
16:28I'm not.
16:29Damn.
16:30It's the third no this year.
16:32Hey.
16:33I'm, uh...
16:34I'm sorry you had to do that.
16:38It must have been incredibly difficult.
16:39You heard that?
16:40Yeah, I did.
16:41And I feel bad for the guy, but I have to say, I am very flattered.
16:44Why are you flattered?
16:45How could I not be flattered?
16:46I mean, you dumped that guy.
16:47As soon as you found out, I still have flattered.
16:48You dumped that guy, as soon as you found out, I still have flattered.
16:49Uh...
16:50I'm, uh...
16:51I'm sorry you had to do that.
16:54It must have been incredibly difficult.
16:58You heard that?
16:59Yeah, I did.
17:00And I feel bad for the guy, but I have to say, I am very flattered.
17:07Why are you flattered?
17:09How could I not be flattered?
17:11I mean, you dumped that guy.
17:12As soon as you found out, I still have feelings for you.
17:16So, you're saying that the second I found out you wanted me back,
17:23I immediately broke up with my boyfriend?
17:28Is it too late to say no?
17:33I broke up with James because he proposed to me after a month.
17:38It had nothing to do with you, you conceited jerk.
17:42Now, wait. Wait a second. You're broken up anyway.
17:46Why don't we just start fresh and have a nice date?
17:49You want to split a season? No? Okay.
17:51Don't talk to me.
18:04Don't talk to me.
18:10No me eches la culpa a mÃ.
18:12Yo te la puse en medio de la base.
18:14Tú eres el que le dio como señorita.
18:22I'll come, I'll come.
18:27Denise.
18:28You know what really pisses me off?
18:31You just want what you can't have.
18:33I think the only reason you wanted me back was because you knew I had a boyfriend.
18:39That is not true.
18:40You don't have a boyfriend now and I still really want you.
18:45I've been on other dates since we broke up,
18:47but none of those girls were half as sweet or caring
18:52and not nearly as beautiful as you.
18:54And, uh, I'm sorry for being arrogant tonight.
18:59It's just, you know, I just...
19:04I assumed, because I was still interested,
19:09you might be too.
19:14I might be.
19:15I knew it!
19:16Boom!
19:22Again.
19:23Arrogant.
19:24Sorry.
19:28What do you say?
19:29You give it another shot?
19:33Only if you promise that this time,
19:36if we run into a problem, you don't bail.
19:38We work it out.
19:39Done.
19:41And I don't want my virginity to be an issue.
19:44So we're taking sex off the table.
19:47We're not even going to discuss it.
19:50Okay.
19:51I could...
20:02I think your grandma's gonna be happy about this.
20:05I know she is.
20:06She's been looking at us through that window
20:08as if I can't see her this whole time.
20:10I...
20:13I'm gonna go say hi.
20:23Hey.
20:24Chris!
20:25My best friend.
20:27You know, I'm feeling so good.
20:29I'll tell you what.
20:30If you wanna grab a whole bunch of monkeys,
20:34bring them in the restaurant,
20:36give them segways...
20:41You got it.
20:45That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
20:48Now, I...
20:49I know...
20:50I know I've got a lot of really good ideas.
20:55But...
20:57I don't think they fit with the restaurant.
21:00So I've decided to open my own place.
21:03Chris!
21:04That...
21:05That is great!
21:06Hey, hey, hey.
21:07That's a lot of responsibility.
21:08You sure you're ready for that?
21:09Actually, I...
21:10I started, uh, making plans.
21:11Already.
21:12I called Rose to see if she could supply my desserts.
21:15Heh.
21:16And, uh...
21:17Oh, and I hope you don't mind.
21:18But, um...
21:19I also told Rose...
21:21Heh.
21:22That, uh...
21:23You thought she was your soulmate.
21:24So...
21:28What did she say?
21:30I said, how could I be so stupid not to see it?
21:32Hm?
21:33No.
21:41Looking good!
Recommended
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