- 23 minutes ago
McHale and the guys find a secret hideaway with the nurses after fraternization is forbidden. The Captain finds out, and they must quickly whip up a plan.
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00:00You
00:06Gee, I've been feeling low lately. Me too. Think it's a lack of vitamins. Yeah, vitamin M for men
00:15Medicine
00:18Just what the doctor ordered I'll say
00:21But what about Captain Binghamton's orders? No fraternizing girls. We are nurses and our job is health in this case ours
00:30Suffering
00:33I've seen you dolls. Yeah, Binghamton sure is making life miserable. Yeah, if you ask us that Binghamton's a jerk
00:39Binghamton's a jerk. Binghamton's a jerk. Binghamton's a jerk. What was that? Oh, he's a new member of the crew
00:45Meet Sam
00:47Binghamton's a jerk. Binghamton's a jerk
00:49He's darling. Where'd you get him? We won him in a crap game from the Marines
00:54Without you gals around there's nothing else to do
00:56Girl
00:58What's going on stop talking to these enlisted men, but we haven't seen him in weeks commander have a heart
01:03We're only human. I have a heart and I'm human, too
01:06But Binghamton strikes out on both counts
01:08And he's heading this way
01:10All right, you dime store Romeos you stop in your tracks and you freeze
01:18I saw you with those nurses and you know my rules against fraternization. Now, what do you got to say for yourselves?
01:23Wow, wow, wow, wow
01:24Well, I didn't know enough, sir. I'm sure they were just seeing them on hospital business captain Binghamton
01:29Binghamton's a jerk
01:30Binghamton's a jerk
01:31Who said that?
01:33Ho, ho, ho
01:34Who said what, sir? I didn't hear a thing
01:37But didn't you hear him, Skip? Somebody said Binghamton's a jerk. I heard him loud
01:40What?
01:41All right, you loud mouth malingerers you. This is war
01:45If I catch one of you men within 10 feet of the nurses, you're gonna get an immediate court-martial now move out of here
01:51We're going we're going captain. Bye-bye, sir. Bye
01:54Bye
01:59All right, which one of you boneheads insulted Binghamton? Binghamton's a jerk
02:04Knock it off sailor
02:05Sailor
02:06Stump and G Hossifer
02:08I don't know his name's Sam
02:10Well, whatever it is, our name will be mud if he keeps on opening his beak. Come on, let's get out of here
02:15Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here
02:19All right, look one executive officer around here is enough
02:21You're the parent. I'll skip move on
02:35You
02:51The End
03:21The End
03:51Oh, knock it out!
03:54Will you get over here and play cards?
03:56You can't quit with us!
03:57Come on!
03:57I can quit if I want to!
03:59All this, all this, all this!
04:02Now, what's all this squabble about?
04:05Well, stay in trouble!
04:06I don't want to hear it!
04:09Master, I love you, darling.
04:12Okay, okay. I love you, too.
04:14Boy, morale around here is worse than I thought.
04:16Goober, you better cut it out before it's too late.
04:18Huh?
04:19Well, I think it's about time you and I had to talk about the birds and the bees.
04:22Don't you know that birds go with birds and people go with people?
04:25And when you start going with a bird, that's messing with fire?
04:27And that's for the birds.
04:29Skip, we can't go on like this.
04:30We haven't had a date in weeks.
04:32We're going island happy.
04:33We've got to do something.
04:34I think you're right.
04:35Oh, Skip, you've got to listen to us.
04:36We're cracking up.
04:37You're our CEO and it's your duty to...
04:39What did you say?
04:41I said I think you're right.
04:42Hey, how about that?
04:43You got an idea to outfox Binghamton?
04:46Well, as a matter of fact, I do.
04:49Now, gentlemen, this is a rough map of Taratupa.
04:52Now, this is the officer's club.
04:55This is Binghamton's office.
04:57And this is Supply Depot.
04:58So, can any one of you tell me what this is?
05:03That's an X, Skip, and a darn good one.
05:06Thanks, Chuck.
05:07But this also happens to be an old abandoned air raid shelter on the south side of the island.
05:12Well, what are you getting at, Skip?
05:13Yeah, what gives?
05:14Well, how does that get us closer to the nurses?
05:16Well, gentlemen, I don't like the way Binghamton has been cutting into our social life any more than you fellows.
05:22So, since we can't meet out in the open, we...
05:25Go underground.
05:27Right.
05:27We are going to turn this old abandoned air raid shelter into P.T. 73's new underground social club.
05:39Lester, darling, you're wonderful.
05:42I love you, darling.
05:43Sorry, Sam.
05:44I'm going back to girls.
05:45It's all clear, sir.
05:56There's nobody here.
05:57What do you think of my timing for a sneak inspection, Elroy?
06:01Oh, I've always known it, sir.
06:02You're a great sneak.
06:03Oh, thank you, Elroy.
06:05Nobody likes a smart lieutenant.
06:06Sorry, sir.
06:07No, no, I'm stupid, sir.
06:09Absolutely stupid.
06:09All right.
06:25Now, I know this place is just crawling with infractions.
06:28I want you to look for letters, diaries, pawn tickets.
06:30Yes, Captain Binghamton.
06:32Binghamton's a jerk.
06:33Binghamton's a jerk.
06:35Arrest that man.
06:36Yes, sir.
06:36I want your name right at first.
06:38Sir, it's a parrot.
06:39I don't care what it is.
06:40I've taken about all I'm going to...
06:42Yes, sir.
06:44Binghamton's a jerk.
06:45Binghamton's a jerk.
06:45How dare you talk to me that way.
06:49I ought to give you a good...
06:49Oh, sir, please don't.
06:50Please.
06:51Don't blame him.
06:52Parrots only repeat what they hear.
06:54Don't you defend him to me, Carpenter.
06:56No parrot's going to call me a...
06:59They only repeat what they hear?
07:01Yes, sir.
07:03Oh, of course.
07:04Of course.
07:05This little fella's been listening to McHale and his thugs.
07:08Maybe he can tell us more.
07:10Oh, sir, I'd hate to hear some of the other names they call you jerk is bad enough,
07:13but if they...
07:13Will you shut up?
07:15Hello there, Bertie.
07:16I'm Captain Binghamton.
07:17No doubt you've heard of me.
07:19Huh?
07:20Come on.
07:21Oh, yes, he's heard of me.
07:22What's McHale been up to lately, hmm?
07:26Hark.
07:27What does that mean?
07:28Is he running a still?
07:31Hark, hark.
07:32Is he thinking of deserting or maybe swiping things?
07:35Swiping?
07:36Swiping?
07:37Swipe champagne.
07:38Swipe champagne.
07:39Sir, did you hear that?
07:40They must be stealing your champagne from the officer's club.
07:42If we get there right away, we can catch them red-handed, sir.
07:45Uh-uh.
07:46But, sir, if we nab them, we can throw them right in the brig.
07:48Yes, for only 30 days, though.
07:50If we bide our time listening to this bird, we may get something big on them, put them
07:53away for life.
07:54But how can you be so sure?
07:55For the first time, we've got an informer in their midst.
07:59Oh, love that bird.
08:01I love you.
08:02I love you.
08:04Isn't that cute?
08:06Oh, Polly, if it wasn't against regulations, I'd get rid of Carpenter and make you my aide.
08:11I love you.
08:12I love you.
08:14Sir, I've always been very fond of you, but I'm just not a loudmouth.
08:17It's perfect.
08:21Old eagle-eyed Binghamton will never find us here.
08:23Yeah, come on, let's take a look.
08:29Oh, excuse me.
08:32Ladies first.
08:34Why, thanks, Quinn.
08:35I never thought you'd notice.
08:38Hint in a second.
08:39Well, I've got to admit, it's sure run down, but...
08:50Oh, Quinn, use your imagination.
08:52The girls and I will have this place fixed up just fine for the night.
08:55Ah, tonight?
08:57Boy, you girls sure are fast.
08:58Not fast.
09:00Just anxious.
09:01Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:03Well, you better get your girls to work, and don't worry about the refreshments.
09:07We'll take care of all that.
09:08So, come on, let's get moving.
09:10We've got a big night ahead of us.
09:12Skip, do you suppose we could play spin the bottle?
09:17Well, of course.
09:19Once they're empty.
09:21But that takes so long.
09:26In speaking to a parrot, it is sometimes advisable to imitate the parrot's tone.
09:34Hello, Polly, this is Wally.
09:36Hello, Polly.
09:38This is Wally.
09:39Huh?
09:40Captain.
09:41Huh?
09:42What is it?
09:43What is it?
09:43Huh?
09:44What are you staring at?
09:45We...
09:46Oh, nothing, sir.
09:47But, sir, that parrot was right, sir.
09:50McHale's men did steal your champagne.
09:51They did?
09:52Oh, good, good.
09:54You're happy about it, sir?
09:55Well, of course, you ninny.
09:56It shows that our parrot is giving us reliable information.
10:00All we've got to do is send McHale and his men out on a mission to get them out of the way,
10:04and we've got to work on our little informer.
10:07Oh, sir, what's this?
10:08These are sunflower seeds.
10:10Any parrot would sell out his own mother for a gizzy full of these.
10:13Oh, sir.
10:14Try some, bird break.
10:16Oh, yes, Captain.
10:21What was that again?
10:22You heard me, McHale.
10:23I want you and your bunch of wayfaring gypsies to make a patrol run out to Malanga Island right away.
10:29Malanga Island?
10:30But, sir, that'll take hours.
10:32McHale.
10:32Now, you get on that patrol, and that's an order.
10:35Oh, brother.
10:36Leave us a light bottle.
10:37We'll lock this up.
10:38No, we'll never make it to the party.
10:40He does it every time.
10:41Why don't you go?
10:42Wait a minute.
10:43Wait a minute.
10:44Dry your tears, boys.
10:46Now, don't you think that the trip back from Malanga will be a whole lot shorter if we tie up at the south side of the island?
10:54Yeah, but, Skip, there's nothing over there but jungle and that old air raid shelter.
10:58Hey, my gosh.
10:59Bingo.
10:59Well, we can go on the mission in our whites.
11:01And when we get back, it's party time.
11:09Tonight's the night.
11:10Tonight's the night.
11:11Ah!
11:12Ah!
11:16Ah, so.
11:29Sleeping down.
11:30Now, make bed.
11:32And almost Fuji finished.
11:34Hello, Fuji.
11:35Hello, Fuji.
11:36Ah, so.
11:36Ah!
11:36What's your language?
11:46Might be ladies around someplace.
11:54Oi, rei!
11:56Sing of this!
11:58It's a jerk.
11:59Bird brain.
12:00Ah!
12:00You be quiet.
12:01I go.
12:02Ah!
12:09Oh, there he is.
12:10Our feathered Mata Hari.
12:12Binghamton's a jerk.
12:13Binghamton's a jerk.
12:15If he doesn't cut that out, I'm going to get some tar to go with his feathers.
12:19Oh, Polly.
12:20It's Uncle Wally.
12:21Tell Uncle Wally what McHale and his brigands have been up to.
12:24Come on.
12:25Something big so I can hit them with the book.
12:27Come on.
12:28Talk to Uncle Wally.
12:30He doesn't seem in a very talkative mood, sir.
12:32Talk.
12:32All right.
12:33Come on now, Polly.
12:34Ha ha.
12:35Talk.
12:36Pretty please.
12:37Pretty please with a weak germ on it.
12:40Talk, you pea brain.
12:41Talk.
12:41Uh-uh.
12:42Now, listen to me, Parrot.
12:44This is your captain speaking.
12:46You talk, and that's an order.
12:47Oh, McHale.
12:48What in Japanese, you dodo.
12:51I don't understand any...
12:53Carpenter, did you hear that?
12:55Oh, yes, sir.
12:56He said,
12:56Conch-Cishaw, Bacayero.
12:58Speaking Japanese, that means he's heard some nips talking.
13:01Some nips have been here, and they've been here recently.
13:03Nips here?
13:04Oh, sir, that's impossible.
13:09Look at that, Carpenter.
13:11Any questions?
13:12Oh, no, sir.
13:13That's a map of Tarotuba.
13:14And look, sir, there's nip writing on it.
13:16We did it this time, Elroy.
13:19The map, the stolen champagne, the bird speaking Japanese.
13:22Now, he hit the jackpot.
13:24Sir, you mean...
13:25I mean that McHale and his men are dealing with the nips.
13:28They're traitors.
13:29Oh, good.
13:30Congratulations, sir.
13:31I'm trying to meet the nips here at Point X.
13:33Now, if I only knew when.
13:35Come on, Polly.
13:37Come on, Polly.
13:37Tell Uncle Wally, when is McHale going to meet the nips?
13:41When?
13:41Tomorrow?
13:42Tonight?
13:43Tonight's the night.
13:44Tonight's the night.
13:44Tonight's the night.
13:47I saw...
13:48Hello, Pooji.
13:49Hello, Pooji.
13:50Pooji.
13:51He said Pooji.
13:52That's obviously the ringleader's name.
13:54That's the head nip.
13:56Pooji.
13:57Oh, I got him, Elroy.
13:59I got him.
14:00I got him, Elroy.
14:01I got him.
14:03You did not.
14:04I got him, you pushy bird.
14:06You're trying to grab all the credit.
14:07Nobody likes a pushy bird.
14:08You just keep on.
14:09All right, Elroy, let's radio the admiral so he can be in on the kill.
14:11If you weren't on our side, I'd wring your stupid neck.
14:17All right, we got the information.
14:18Grab the seed.
14:19Oh, Skip, you really outdid yourself this time.
14:42Eh, not bad if I say so myself.
14:43Well, can you imagine if Binghamton knew about this, he'd turn over in his nightshirt.
14:49Never happen, Skip.
14:51This little piece of heaven is the best-kept secret of the war.
14:54Yoo-hoo!
14:55Anybody home?
14:56I'll get it.
14:59Who is it?
15:01Joe sent me.
15:02Uh, Joe.
15:03Joe who?
15:04Hey, how'd this guy Joe find out about this?
15:06I thought it was supposed to be a secret.
15:07Girls, let the beauties in.
15:09How do I do?
15:10Yeah, oh, brace yourself.
15:11It's blast-off time.
15:12Hiya, boys.
15:13Ready to swing?
15:17Do you want to swing in those outfits?
15:19I thought it was going to be a party.
15:20Looks more like a bivouac.
15:22We talked about maneuvers.
15:23We had something else in mind.
15:25Okay, girls.
15:26Drop the camouflage.
15:29Oh, no.
15:30Sorry to shock you, boys, but we wanted to be prepared in case Binghamton spotted us.
15:49As far as anybody's concerned, we're out on a field maneuver.
15:52Oh, you're coming over loud and clear, Molly.
15:55Oh, here, let me help you with that, sir.
15:57I mean, ma'am.
15:59Uh, anybody can see you're not a sir.
16:01You, uh, just go ahead.
16:03Then, battle stations.
16:05Come on, Christy boy.
16:07Pour the champagne.
16:08Dish out the food.
16:09Start the phonograph, boy.
16:11Come on, let's go.
16:14Come on, quit.
16:14Let's dance.
16:15Oh, now, Molly, you know I don't dance.
16:17That's okay.
16:18I'll leave.
16:23Well there, Ensign.
16:24Care to cut a rug?
16:25Uh, no, thanks.
16:26Uh, maybe we could slice a pineapple or two.
16:29Come on, don't be so shy.
16:31You can dance, can't you?
16:32Uh, well, I, uh, took a few lessons, but, uh, I don't know how good I'd be without the footprints
16:36pasted down the floor.
16:38I'm willing to gamble.
16:39Uh, you are?
16:40Well, maybe we could pitch pennies, uh, then.
16:42Oh.
16:45Oh.
16:56Sir.
16:56Uh, well, well, well, well.
16:57The Admiral's here, sir.
16:58Well, it's about time.
16:59Hold on.
17:00What is the meaning of this message?
17:02Oh, the meaning?
17:03Are you seriously trying to tell me McHale and his men are traitors?
17:07Oh, yes, sir.
17:08They're meeting tonight with some nips in an abandoned air raid shelter to celebrate their
17:12latest deal.
17:13That's right, Admiral.
17:13Well, the captain snooping around really paid off this time.
17:16Why are you always trying to pin something on McHale and his men?
17:20Why can't you accept the fact that it's a courageous unit making a large contribution to the war
17:24effort?
17:25Oh, yes, sir, Admiral.
17:26Well, a contribution to the Japanese war effort.
17:29Now, Admiral, I've waited for you, so we better hurry over there.
17:31Well, all right.
17:32Let's get over to that shoulder.
17:33But if you're wrong about McHale and his men...
17:35Oh, I can't be wrong this time, Admiral.
17:37This time I've got an operator on the inside.
17:42Tonight's the night.
17:43Tonight's the night.
17:44Uh-huh.
17:46Asho.
17:46Hello, Fuji.
17:47Uh-huh.
17:48Shh, quiet.
17:50Asho.
17:51Your big mouth already got us in enough trouble.
17:54I just hope I got here in time.
17:56Asho.
17:57Here we go.
18:00Boy, oh, boy.
18:01One more glass of champagne, I'll never get back to the war on time.
18:03One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine, seven, eight.
18:10One, two.
18:11Your counting is fine.
18:13Now, why don't you concentrate on your dancing?
18:21Oh, Molly.
18:23Molly, believe me.
18:24I'm just too pooped to take another step on us.
18:28Oh, that's okay, Quint.
18:29There's something to be said for sitting a mat, too.
18:31Oh?
18:32Now, we'll just go over there and snuggle up.
18:36Oh, but what's that?
18:38Would you believe it, Molly?
18:39I just got my second breath.
18:45Hey, Pastor.
18:45Condition rate.
18:46Condition rate.
18:47Oh, gee.
18:48What are you doing here?
18:49All the crazy stuff.
18:50You know you're not supposed to be on the main island.
18:52I here to warn you.
18:53Binghamton coming with the admiral.
18:55Binghamton.
18:56Hold it.
18:56Hold it.
18:57Hold it.
18:57Hold it.
18:57Wait a minute.
18:58How do you know Binghamton's on his way here?
19:00Some here spill beans.
19:02You've got to be kidding.
19:04No kidding.
19:05Binghamton come to the island, find the mat, then parrot tell him about Big Shindig tonight.
19:10Tonight's the night.
19:11Tonight's the night.
19:12I got him, Elroy.
19:14Elroy.
19:14Oh, no.
19:16Well, come on.
19:17Let's get out of here.
19:18Run the double.
19:20Didn't your mother ever tell you it wasn't nice to tattle?
19:23How do you like that?
19:23A stool parrot.
19:24I love you, Grover.
19:27I love you.
19:30Quiet down.
19:31Quiet down.
19:32The shoulder's just ahead, Admiral.
19:33Can you be quiet?
19:34I can hear you all the way in Tokyo.
19:36Oh, no.
19:37They got us cut off.
19:39Come on, everybody back in the shower.
19:40Hurry up.
19:41Oh, yeah.
19:42Well, you wouldn't believe this man.
19:47Hey, Skip.
19:47We've got to do something.
19:48We're as good as dead.
19:49Well, what do you want me to do?
19:50Well, how about Fuji?
19:51He's really gone.
19:52Wait a minute.
19:52Wait a minute.
19:53I've got an idea.
19:54Well, well, spill it, Molly.
19:54Spill it.
19:55We'll listen to anything.
19:56Okay, girls, gather around.
19:57I'm a double fast.
20:05All righty there.
20:06You're under arrest.
20:07This is a raid.
20:08You come out with your hands up.
20:11All right, you traitors.
20:13We're coming in and get you.
20:16I'm sorry, sir, but I can't let you in until you say the secret password.
20:20Get out of my way, you man.
20:22Just get out of my way.
20:23I'll give you a hint.
20:24It's Joe sent me.
20:25Stand aside, Mr. Parker.
20:27That's an order.
20:27Hi, Admiral.
20:30Hello, Captain.
20:31See there, Admiral.
20:32They're all in there just like my secret operator said.
20:34All right, you, Benedict Arnold, we're going in.
20:36Secret operators?
20:37Benedict Arnold?
20:39We don't know what you're talking about, sir.
20:41Oh, you don't, huh?
20:42McHale, you stand aside.
20:44I'm going to raid your Tojo fan club.
20:47I'm sorry, I'm under arrest.
20:49What the devil is going on in there?
20:56Well, sir, I don't...
20:59Well, there's no sense in trying to cover up, Admiral.
21:01Captain Binghamton has caught us red-handed.
21:05Getting first aid lessons from the nurses.
21:08First aid lessons?
21:10Yes, sir.
21:11You see, ever since Captain Binghamton's no fraternization order,
21:13this is the only way we nurses have been able to teach the men first aid.
21:19Binghamton!
21:20Admiral, this is all a cover-up, Admiral.
21:22They were having a celebration in here with the Nips.
21:24You search this place, you'll find the Nips.
21:26The leader's name is Fucci.
21:28Fucci.
21:28Belay that Binghamton is perfectly obvious.
21:31McHale is telling the truth.
21:33Admiral, how could he be telling the truth when I'm telling the truth?
21:37Huh?
21:37What's this?
21:38Well, that proves you're having a celebration, Admiral.
21:40That's a phonograph.
21:41Now, calm down, sir.
21:43Easy does it.
21:45There's a very simple explanation for that phonograph.
21:49You see, but...
21:50But you see, sir, we do all our lessons in first aid to music.
21:57Yes, sir.
21:58The most important thing is the rhythm.
22:00That's it.
22:01The rhythm.
22:01The rhythm, sir.
22:02Yes, sir.
22:03Here, I'll show you.
22:04Let's show them, gang.
22:05Are you ready?
22:07And...
22:08And a one, and a two, and...
22:11Wrap your gauze, cha-cha-cha.
22:16Take the tie, cha-cha-cha.
22:19And now the sling, cha-cha-cha.
22:22Stop the music.
22:26I tell you, Admiral, this whole thing is a plot.
22:29You stop that, Binghamton.
22:31That's an order.
22:32Binghamton's a jerk.
22:34Binghamton's a jerk.
22:35Ah, ah-ha, Admiral.
22:38Here it is, Admiral.
22:39Here is my secret operator.
22:41Here is my man on the inside.
22:45Oh, Polly.
22:46Hello.
22:47Remember me?
22:48It's your old pal.
22:49Do you remember me?
22:50The man with the seeds.
22:52Binghamton, is this a spy who told you that McHale was dealing with the nips?
22:57Oh, come on, Captain.
22:59That's Sam, our pet parrot.
23:01Yeah, we bring him to all the first aid classes.
23:02We want him to know what to do in case he breaks a wing.
23:04Oh, shut up.
23:05Just keep out of this.
23:06Admiral, this is a very reliable bird.
23:08Well, he always was reliable.
23:10Tell the Admiral the truth, for heaven's sakes.
23:12Binghamton's a jerk.
23:13Binghamton's a jerk.
23:14See?
23:16And who am I to argue with the birds?
23:18No, no, no, no, Admiral.
23:20We heard this bird speaking Japanese.
23:22Oh, well, no wonder.
23:24The Marines we got him from liberated Sam from the nips.
23:28Oh, Binghamton, let's get out of here.
23:30Before I have you court-martial for bringing me down here on a wild goose chase.
23:34Oh, no, Admiral.
23:35Please, say something.
23:36Say something.
23:37Arrest him, Admiral, for an illegal party or stealing bandages or paying off limits or say something.
23:41Hey, Binghamton out.
23:43Out, out, out.
23:45You haven't heard the end of this.
23:47Come on, get out of here.
23:52McGill, Commander, you carry on with your first aid.
23:57Lesson.
23:59Yes, sir, Admiral.
24:01Bye-bye, sir, bye.
24:04Boy, was that a squeaker.
24:06Good old Admiral.
24:07And good old Sam.
24:08He made up for everything.
24:09And besides, how could a nip sneak into a secret shindig like this?
24:15Joe sent me.
24:21Hold it, hold it, hold it.
24:23You heard what the Admiral said.
24:25Everybody back to work.
24:26All right, ready, and...
24:31Wrap your gauze, cha-cha-cha.
24:37Tape and tie, cha-cha-cha.
24:39Tape and tie, cha-cha-cha.
24:41That's much better.
24:41Irrer!
24:42No!
24:43Ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:44Ha, ha, ha.
24:45Ha, ha, ha.
24:46Ha, ha, ha.
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