- 2 months ago
During McHale's absence, Binghamton borrows McHale's PT-boat and crew to sail in search of the enemy.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh, hiya, Captain. Reporting back from...
00:12Nice shooting there, sir.
00:18You're back just 30 seconds, and you're starting already, huh, McHale?
00:21Huh? Well, sir, did I...
00:23Oh, well, sir. Well, sir.
00:25Let me tell you something, Mr. Well, sir.
00:28Since you've been away, things have been happening around here.
00:32Oh? Oh?
00:34I took the 73 boat out on a little mission.
00:36Oh, good. You what?
00:38We, uh, tangled with the nips off of Kimo Island.
00:41It was rough, I want to tell you, rough, but we clobbered them.
00:43It'll be some time before they forget Binghamton in the 73.
00:46Well, well, well, I...
00:47Kind of shakes you up, doesn't it?
00:49Well, sir, then.
00:50Uh-huh.
00:51That was one of those desk sailors, didn't you?
00:53Well, let me tell you.
00:58What you were saying, sir?
01:01Get out of here.
01:03Yes, sir.
01:04Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
02:10According to him, he sunk the entire Imperial fleet.
02:15Listen, believe me, even I got a few gray hairs from that one.
02:18Yeah, they're in there somewhere.
02:20Come on, Chuck, what happened?
02:22Well, it all started over at the Officers Club.
02:24I was O.D.
02:25I went in there.
02:26Sorry, gentlemen.
02:29Hate to drink and run, but somebody needs a flattop in a hurry.
02:32Let's go, Thompson.
02:32This could be trouble.
02:35Oh, boy.
02:36Poor guy.
02:36He just got off a pretty rough one, too.
02:38They're all rough.
02:40Coral Sea, Midway, Solomons.
02:43I don't know what an easy action is like, do you?
02:46That is, those of us who have seen action feel they're all rough.
02:51For me, the real rough one was Guadalcanal.
02:54Wally, you were hurt at Pearl Harbor, weren't you?
02:57Well, yes.
02:59Yes, that's true.
03:00I was.
03:00It was before the war.
03:02Huh?
03:02Yeah, they were moving his desk, and it fell on his foot.
03:05Cut his shoe and everything.
03:10It didn't cut everything.
03:12It's my fault I'm chained to a desk while you fellows are assigned to active duty.
03:16I tell you, if I had the opportunity, I could be just as much of a hero as you, bathtub admirals.
03:20Oh, come on, Wally.
03:21Don't be so sensitive.
03:22I'll try and make up.
03:23You're all so smug about your combat experiences.
03:26I'll have you know that I contribute just as much to winning this war at my desk job
03:30as you fellows do out your ships, and don't you forget it.
03:32What, what, what?
03:32Pardon me, sir.
03:33The fleet commander requests your contacting him at once, sir.
03:35It's urgent.
03:36Oh.
03:37Well, I hate to drink and run, gentlemen, but the fleet commander wants to see me.
03:41Parker, this could be trouble.
03:43Oh, it is, sir.
03:44He says he hasn't had any ice cream in two days, and if you don't fill out that...
03:46Oh, yes, sir.
03:54You're absolutely right, sir.
03:56It's just a shame that my boat is still being repaired, or you could really show them, sir.
03:59Get out of my way.
04:01I'll show them, all right.
04:02Oh, I'll show them.
04:03Must be something that I could...
04:06That's it.
04:07I'll take out McHale's boat.
04:09But, sir, Commander McHale is still away in New Caledonia.
04:11I know where McHale is.
04:13That's why this is perfect.
04:15Oh, this will give me a chance to show that smug crowd at the officer's club that old 40-knot
04:20Binghamton isn't adverse to a little tangle with the enemy.
04:23Captain, I still don't like the idea of your assigning yourself to active duty with that...
04:27That's 73 boat.
04:28Nonsense.
04:29This is my opportunity to bring that gang of cutthroats back into the Navy.
04:32But, sir, that crew is without a doubt one of the worst...
04:35Are you raising your voice to me?
04:37Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
04:38Never, sir.
04:39No.
04:39But, sir, that crew is really...
04:41I know all about that crew, Carpenter.
04:42And no matter what I think of that crew personally, wherever you find McHale's men, you'll find action.
04:47And that's what I want, Carpenter.
04:48Action!
04:49Conditioned right! Conditioned right!
04:56Big up and set it as well.
04:57Oh, come on.
04:57I wonder what all right bottom wants.
04:58Let's assemble at the boat.
04:59Get the money.
05:00Get the money.
05:00Get the money.
05:00Get the money.
05:01Go for it.
05:01Go for it.
05:01Get out of here.
05:06Mr. Parker, we can't keep this grueling pace up forever.
05:10We've been working since daybreak.
05:11Okay.
05:12Right.
05:13Why, Captain Minggan, I didn't realize you were here.
05:16You didn't, huh?
05:17What would you have done if you'd known I was here?
05:19Arrange an enemy attack to impress me?
05:21Well, I hadn't thought of that, sir.
05:23Why didn't you think of that?
05:24Yeah, I didn't see, Mr.
05:26Now you can tell your men that their little charade is over.
05:29I want them to assemble on the dock at once.
05:32Yes, sir.
05:33Men, your little charade is over.
05:36Come on, now.
05:36Let's sit on the dock now, man.
05:37Come on, now.
05:38The captain wants us down here to lie.
05:39Let's go.
05:40Five, two, three, four.
05:41Come on, men.
05:42Let's fall in here now after all the captain's a busy man.
05:44And he hasn't got a lot of time to wait around for people who are to come.
05:54Men of Boat 73, I have some exciting news for you.
05:59Are you ready?
06:01I have decided to assign myself to active duty on this boat.
06:07Huh?
06:07Hey, pardon, sir.
06:09Does that mean the war is over?
06:13Well, babe.
06:13Ordinarily, I would slap you in the brig for a crack like that.
06:18But I want you to stick around and see how things can be accomplished when they're done
06:22the right way, the Navy way.
06:25Well, pardon me, sir, but Commander McHale has always taught us to do things the Navy way.
06:29Oh, I know that.
06:30But I'm talking about our Navy, not the Japanese.
06:34Now, when I'm through with you, you're going to be a fighting unit, not a motley bunch of legalized pirates.
06:41Mr. Parker, take her out.
06:44Yes, sir.
06:45All right, you pirates.
06:46All right, we're going to take her out.
06:49Eve, too.
07:02All right, start engines, Mr. Parker.
07:04Start engines, Mr. Parker!
07:05Uh, uh, uh, Mr. Tinker!
07:09Uh, Bell!
07:10Start your head.
07:16What kind of a way is that to store a depth charge?
07:19Sir, that's Commander McHale's own special system for rigging a charge.
07:22Nonsense, nonsense.
07:23With that board sticking out like that, that's a safety hazard.
07:26Why, I pressure you to come along here and kick...
07:27Well, uh, I thought it had fine trajectories, sir.
07:44Uh, really took off.
07:45Of course, your windage on a day like this, you'd have to...
07:48Take her out, Christy.
07:50All right, sir.
07:51Uh, get ready to cast off, Willie.
07:52Right.
07:53I can't just scream.
08:05He could scream.
08:14Pow!
08:16Ha, ha, ha, ha!
08:17Torpedo, too, was right on target there.
08:19Right on target.
08:20That was excellent.
08:21Excellent!
08:21But, uh, that would have been a direct hit, you know.
08:26Oh, this was a fine torpedo drill, fine.
08:29Secure the crew from battle stations.
08:31Oh, and, uh, give the men a well done.
08:33Yes, sir.
08:34Secure from battle stations and well done.
08:37Now you men see how things are done the real Navy way, huh?
08:41Yes, sir.
08:43Hey, there's a little sweetheart I used to train with at boot.
08:47Now, sir, I suppose this gun has kept it ready.
08:59Yes, sir.
09:00I clean and maintain it myself and everything.
09:01No one touches this little chatterbox with me, sir.
09:03No, sir.
09:04That's against the regulations.
09:05Every man on board should know how to operate every weapon on board.
09:08Well, they do, sir.
09:09It's just that Virgil here is loosing the swivel to his own touch.
09:12You've been in the Navy fire a gun like Virgil, sir.
09:14That's a lot of nonsense.
09:16There isn't a gun in the Navy that I haven't kept up on.
09:18Yes, sir, but this particular gun is...
09:20Watch that quick!
09:24Hey, what the devil is...
09:30Sailor, you get your swivel tightened.
09:44Sir, Commander McHale always like...
09:46Forget Commander McHale.
09:47I'm in charge here.
09:48Let's take over.
09:50I'm going below.
09:52See if I can stir up a little action.
09:56Action?
09:57What does he call what we've been through?
09:58Captain, what did you hear?
10:01Any luck?
10:02Ah, there wasn't anything stirring down there.
10:04The nips must have taken a day off.
10:07Oh, gee, that's too bad, sir.
10:09I have a feeling that I have better luck tomorrow.
10:12Tomorrow?
10:14I thought we were pretty lucky today.
10:17I mean, to have you aboard, sir.
10:21Keep your eyes in a moment.
10:28You know, I've been in the Navy since the war began, and it's the first time I feel like taking out insurance.
10:33He's trying to get us all wiped out.
10:35Well, you say that again.
10:36I'm going to file a complaint under Geneva Convention.
10:39I got a race.
10:40Mr. Parker, isn't there any other way we can get them off our necks?
10:44Well, I don't know.
10:46But when I promised Commander McHale I'd take care of you guys, too.
10:49I thought it was the other way around.
10:50Hey, I have an idea.
10:53It's not easy, but it just might work.
10:55Anyway, it's our only chance.
10:56Well, what is it?
10:57We sell Binghamton to the Japanese.
10:59Oh, come on.
10:59You know, there is one thing we can do.
11:01What are you throwing out my idea for without giving it a chance?
11:03Let's see what kind of a price we get for it.
11:05Mr. Parker, my idea is that since the captain wants to go on a mission, let's take him on one.
11:09Are you crazy?
11:10Take the captain on a mission?
11:11Hey, if Gruber can get two bowls of rice for the captain, I say we take it.
11:16Yeah!
11:18Knock it off, you chowder-heads!
11:19Hey.
11:20Oh, of course I didn't mean you, sir.
11:22Now, look.
11:23I found out what started this whole mess.
11:25Captain Binghamton was being razged in the officer's club yesterday about his desk job.
11:29All he wants is a war story you can tell.
11:32So I say let's give him one.
11:33Going on a mission with Binghamton, it'd be suicide.
11:36That's right.
11:37And I promised my mother I'd be home right after the war.
11:39Well, I don't mean take him on a real mission.
11:41My idea is to set up a fake.
11:43A fake?
11:44I don't get it.
11:44Well, what's the quietest island in the area?
11:48I'd say chemo.
11:48Yeah, chemo.
11:50Quiet like a library.
11:51Well, when we land on that quiet little island, what do you think happens?
11:56I don't know.
11:56Binghamton runs smack dab into a Japanese scout.
11:59He engages him in combat.
12:01He saves our whole crew.
12:02And we send him back to the officer's club a hero.
12:05That's brilliant, Christy.
12:06Brilliant.
12:07Yeah, that's great.
12:08That's just great.
12:09Yeah, great.
12:10Now, where are we going to find a nice friendly Japanese scout to cooperate?
12:13Oh, no.
12:22I got to go now.
12:23Have cake in the oven.
12:25Oh, come on.
12:25Gucci old buddy.
12:27All you have to do is put on your old uniform and let Binghamton take a couple of shots at you.
12:30That's all.
12:31Let captain take shots at me.
12:33You flip your head.
12:33You almost murdered me today and not even aim at me.
12:37Nothing can happen to you.
12:38We'll be sure and put blanks in the captain's gun.
12:40We're going to save our lives.
12:42Rouge.
12:42How about it, samurai?
12:46Okay.
12:47I'll do it.
12:52All for us to count for, sir.
12:54Very good, Mr. Parker.
12:56Now, let's shove off.
12:58We're going to see action today.
13:00I can feel it in my bones.
13:01Oh, well, good for your bones, sir.
13:03All right, man.
13:05Let's get aboard.
13:06Come on.
13:06We're taking it around, man.
13:07Let's go.
13:07Let's head over to the tube station.
13:13You can't leave here.
13:14Fuji's not on board.
13:16What are you talking about?
13:17I thought he was below.
13:19He went back to get his good luck charm.
13:23Mr. Parker.
13:25Yes, sir.
13:25Yes, sir.
13:30All right, Parker.
13:31Let's move.
13:32Let's move.
13:32Let's move.
13:33Those Japanese aren't going to wait all day.
13:35Yes, sir.
13:36We can't keep those Japanese waiting.
13:38You feel all right?
13:39Oh, yes, sir.
13:40Yes, sir.
13:41Start your engines all ahead of quarter.
13:43Start your engines all ahead of quarter.
13:45Where are those Japanese, don't they know there's a war on?
13:57Where are those Japanese, don't they know there's a war on?
14:09Well, maybe they heard you're on the prowl, sir.
14:11I'm going to have to check our torpedoes.
14:16Call me if you sight anything.
14:18All right, sir.
14:19Boy, now what are we going to do?
14:22Without Fuji, our plant is dead.
14:24Yeah, and so are we, unless we come up and see.
14:28Hey, listen.
14:29We've got Fuji's uniform aboard, and Tinker's the same size.
14:33So, uh, we could get Tinker to dress up in the uniform and make believe that he's a Japanese scout.
14:41No, he'd never do it.
14:44Mr. Parker, do you know what you are?
14:45You're an officer.
14:48You can order him to do it.
14:52Yeah, I can handle this, just like Commander McHale.
14:59Seaman Bell, report to the bridge at once.
15:02Get up here, you swab, and move it!
15:09I was just going to talk to one of the members of the crew, sir.
15:12Keep going.
15:15Signal for you, Captain Binghamton.
15:23Well, let me have it.
15:27Parker.
15:28Parker, that's his orders from Comfleet.
15:31Oh, wonderful, sir.
15:31What does it say?
15:32Hey, he finally got you.
15:32Oh, yeah, stop blabbing.
15:34I'll tell you what it says.
15:35It says that we're to proceed to an island where the enemy may be starting a build-up.
15:39They want us to move in quietly and see how big a concentration it is.
15:42Oh, Parker, this is what I've been waiting for.
15:44You're no more anxious than we are, sir.
15:45Oh, I'll show you the blowhards at the club.
15:48Let's go.
15:48Crew, the tour stations, the men all weapons, postal lookouts, all ahead, full.
15:55Gee, I love that kind of talk to him.
15:56Yeah, that's going to get you, doesn't it?
15:59Well, now, you heard him.
16:00Tour stations, men, all full ahead.
16:02Set course for chemo island.
16:04Oh, Parker, I tell you, I waited for this for so long.
16:07How did you know the enemy was on chemo?
16:12Well, how did I?
16:15What?
16:16Well, you told me, sir.
16:17Well, I don't remember saying anything.
16:19Oh, yes, sir.
16:20You said chemo.
16:21Yes, sir.
16:21I heard you.
16:22I wouldn't say anything.
16:23I had loose lips sink ships, you know.
16:25How else would I know?
16:26I mean, I'm not a mind reader, sir.
16:29I'm beginning to think you're not even an ensign.
16:31Well, that's chemo, huh?
16:47It's so quiet to me.
16:48Oh, well, sir, that's because we've come in on the far side of the island from where the build-up was reported.
16:53You know, we would want to be observed coming in, sir.
16:55Well, it's true, Christopher, true.
16:57That shows you've picked up quite a bit from me during this shakedown cruise.
17:02You know, what are we waiting for?
17:03Let's go in.
17:05Go in?
17:07Well, sir, before we go in, I think you ought to scan the sea in all directions.
17:10Kind of a precaution, sir.
17:12Mm-hmm.
17:12You know, Parker, you're beginning to shape up, too.
17:15We can't be too careful.
17:16You'll be a trap.
17:20Come on, come on, Tinker.
17:22Come on.
17:27Parker, what is the matter with you?
17:40Stop waving at me.
17:41Now it's no shore.
17:42Yes, sir.
17:43Well, look, sir.
17:44Isn't that a periscope?
17:45Periscope?
17:46Where?
17:46Where?
17:46Yes, sir.
17:46Off our cybersides.
17:47I don't see any periscope.
17:48Where is it?
17:48Where is it?
17:49Where?
17:49Where?
17:49Well, coming right at it, sir.
17:50At about 10 o'clock.
17:52No, it'll be about 10.30.
17:53Well, it's between 10.30 and quarter to 11, sir.
18:03I don't see anything out there at all.
18:05There's a seagull out there.
18:07Oh, well, I thought I had kind of a long beak for a periscope, sir.
18:13Parker, if I'm a goof like that, I'm going to have you turn in your gun belt.
18:17Come on, we're hitting the beach.
18:20We're hitting the beach.
18:23All right, sir, man.
18:43I want you to spread out.
18:45Keep low.
18:46Good idea, sir.
18:46I have an idea.
18:47This place may be swarming with Japanese.
18:53I'll be right back.
19:23Oh, my God.
19:53Well, I'm going to go.
19:56Hi.
20:09Yeah, I've been to the city now, isn't it?
20:23what happened to that eight ball pinker probably sacked out somewhere they just have to stole
20:47pingampton commander mikhail doing a spotlight hey fellas look out look out there's nymphs in there
20:53the japanese are coming japanese real japanese
20:58hundreds of them all over the place they're not supposed to be here all right oh jolly you're my
21:08friends good just get me to jail now
21:12we gotta get out of here the island's crawling with them what them places are you doing here
21:19well sir look it's a long story i'll explain later come on man let's walk
21:42you'll all hang from the iron arm for this just as soon as i can break radio silence i'm going
21:49to signal for a court-martial board to meet us at the dock this is the most insolent the most
21:55outrageous the most insubordinate insubordinate get that out
22:02well actually sir uh i feel this whole incident was kind of my fault uh i thought you're just
22:07looking for a story to tell the officers at the club and while we all got together
22:10left mister and you keep it buttoned enemy ship off the starboard just coming to view around the
22:16point battle stations that must be the ship that brought the enemy ashore well put our order sir
22:23we attack make all tubes ready all torpedo tubes ready sir range range 1200 yards course uh course
22:36zero four five degrees sir fire one but sir we have to come around at least 10 more degrees
22:41i'm afraid he's right sir are you telling me how to fire a torpedo tube you're telling me what to do
22:45i said fire one are you fire one fire
22:47it's gonna miss by a hundred yards
22:56it's heading for the beach
23:02the whole island's going up
23:10men you've just witnessed the first time in naval history that a torpedo sunk a truck
23:15well i tell you gentlemen it was rough i realized that the only way that i could knock out the enemy
23:27installation with the meager weapons that i had at my command you realize was i had to ignore the
23:33intense barrage that the enemy was hurling at me i was hurling this barrage at me from a dozen
23:37destroyers they had to cruisers and aircraft carriers and ignore all that i had to just give
23:42the order i said men we uh what is it mr did you want to see me what is it pot pot well uh yes sir
23:48uh my men were wondering if we could have a weekend pass sir it seems that we can pass that's
23:53absolutely out of the question parker what's the matter with you don't you know there's a war on
23:56well yes sir uh sir i couldn't help overhearing uh are there any details that i could help you fill
24:03in i mean while you're telling the men about your mission i uh oh no parker no i remember everything
24:10just exactly as it happened uh why uh why don't you stop by my office and have a talk with me parker
24:17when your crew gets back monday yes sir somehow we knew we could depend on you you're gonna tell
24:24about the truck sir oh i tell you it was rough gentlemen rough i don't care what actions you've
24:38seen unless you were at chemo
24:40so
24:51so
24:53so
24:55so
24:59so
25:01so
25:05so
25:07so
25:11so
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