- 2 days ago
Binghamton fakes illness, appoints McHale as temporary commander to face an inspection, but McHale and the crew turn the tables on the Captain.
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00:00Captain Binghamton here, what is it?
00:05What, what, what, what?
00:08Garter belts?
00:10You are the supply officer here.
00:12If the nurses need garter belts, then you snap to it.
00:16I mean, you shake a leg.
00:18Oh, you know what I mean.
00:20Oh, what a war.
00:22Everything is on my shoulders.
00:25Captain Binghamton, sir, I just got a message from a pal of mine at Conflict.
00:28Admiral Rafferty is arriving today on a sneak inspection.
00:32Oh, no.
00:33Yes, sir.
00:33Iron Pants Rafferty's coming here.
00:35Oh, that's all I need, him nosing around.
00:38Oh, do you realize what a mess this place is in?
00:43Hello.
00:45Yes, this is Captain Binghamton.
00:47Who did you expect to find in my office?
00:49Tokyo Rose?
00:51The what?
00:53The sinks in the petty officers' club are backing up?
00:57Well, what do you expect me to do about it?
01:00I'm the commanding officer here.
01:01I'm not a plumber.
01:03Saks, I'm telling you,
01:05a couple of days like this,
01:07my stomach acid could start a car.
01:10Oh, please, sir, take it easy on those pills.
01:12You know how they always give you indigestion, sir.
01:14Please.
01:15I don't care.
01:16I don't care.
01:16I just don't care.
01:17If I had any sense, I'd really get sick,
01:19and then somebody else would have to face the Admiral.
01:21I'd...
01:22Wait a minute.
01:26If I was sick,
01:27then I could appoint an acting base commander,
01:30and he could talk to the Admiral, right, Carpenter?
01:32Oh, yes, sir.
01:33Sir, and I want you to know
01:35that I am ready to accept the supreme test.
01:37Not you, you ninny.
01:38McHale.
01:39With McHale and his cutthroats in charge of Taratupa,
01:43they will run wild
01:44and destroy themselves right in front of the Admiral.
01:47That's brilliant, sir.
01:49Absolutely brilliant.
01:50Uh-huh.
01:51I do look sort of sick to you,
01:52don't I, all right?
01:54Yes, sir.
01:55Terribly sick.
01:56Don't you think you better call the medics?
01:57Oh, the medics.
01:58Right away, sir.
02:00Carmen!
02:01Carmen!
02:01It's Captain Binghamton!
02:03Hurry!
02:03He's not well!
02:04Quick!
02:04On the double!
02:07Carpenter,
02:08sir,
02:08I think I'm going to faint.
02:09Oh, sir,
02:09you're going to faint.
02:10You ready?
02:12Oh.
02:14Sir,
02:15you didn't say to catch you.
02:17You're a stupid
02:19non-spotor.
02:20Please,
02:21Carmen!
02:21Carmen!
02:22Carmen!
02:23Carmen!
02:47Oh, good old Sam.
03:14Oh, good old boy.
03:16Look out the window now.
03:17Oh, sir.
03:18Sir, it's Commander McHale.
03:19He's coming.
03:19How do you do?
03:21This is going to be one of the happiest illnesses of my life.
03:25I don't remember, all right.
03:26It's a slipper boy.
03:27Oh, sorry.
03:28I'm a very sick man.
03:29Don't forget.
03:29Very sick man.
03:30Very sick man.
03:31Oh.
03:35Oh.
03:38Hi, Captain.
03:39What's wrong, sir?
03:40Oh, McHale.
03:42I don't know, McHale.
03:43They've taken a lot of tests.
03:44They haven't got any answers yet.
03:45All we know right now is that I'm in bad shape.
03:50Oh, hi.
03:52Oh, for goodness.
03:53I'm going to tell you to raise my head a little bit, would you please?
03:55Yes, sir.
03:56Oh, here.
03:57I'll do it for you.
03:57He asked me to do it.
03:58Oh, no, no, no.
03:59Don't push.
04:00Oh, no, no.
04:02Put it down.
04:03Push it down.
04:04Push it down.
04:05Push it down.
04:07Get out of the room.
04:08I'm in it.
04:08Oh.
04:10Oh.
04:11I got it.
04:11Trying to break my back?
04:12Parker, I'll have your head.
04:14No, no, no.
04:14Wait a minute.
04:15Wait a minute.
04:15Wait a minute.
04:15Wait a minute.
04:16He was just trying to make you comfortable, sir.
04:18After all, you know how concerned we are about you.
04:20Oh, yes, sir.
04:21Take it easy, Captain.
04:22Remember how very, very sick you are, sir.
04:24Gee, I'm sorry, sir.
04:25I thought I was in neutral.
04:26Stop it.
04:28That's all, you menace.
04:30Elroy's right, McHale.
04:31I'm a very sick man.
04:33Yes, sir, yes, sir.
04:33The medics don't know how long I'm going to be in here.
04:36So while I'm away, I'm going to have to appoint an acting base commander.
04:39Well, I understand, sir.
04:41And you can rest assured that my boys and I will give Lieutenant Carpenter all the help we can.
04:46Yes, sir.
04:47Carpenter?
04:48No, no, no.
04:49He's a boob.
04:49Huh?
04:50Yes, Carpenter is a boob.
04:51I'm appointing you the acting base commander, McHale.
04:55Me?
04:55Oh, come on, Captain.
04:57You must be kidding.
04:59McHale, take a good look at me.
05:02Do I look like a man who's kidding?
05:04No, sir.
05:05But take a good look at me, sir.
05:07Do I look like a base commander?
05:09He's got you there, Wally.
05:10No, sir.
05:11No, no, no.
05:11Now, easy does it, sir.
05:13Now, look, I'm a saltwater skipper, sir.
05:15I'd be no good behind a desk.
05:16McHale, I wouldn't think of asking you to take on a big assignment like this without some help.
05:21So I'm appointing Parker, your acting executive office.
05:25Who?
05:25Boy, did you hear that skipper?
05:26Oh, thanks, Captain.
05:27You'll never regret this.
05:28I didn't feel you.
05:29Oh, give me that.
05:33McHale.
05:34Yes, sir.
05:34You go over to my office and you take command this minute.
05:37That's an order.
05:38Oh, but, Captain.
05:39No, no, no.
05:40Oh, just a minute, Lieutenant.
05:43Just a minute.
05:44Just a minute.
05:45The acting base commander, McHale.
05:47Yeah, Chief.
05:49The what?
05:52The sinks are still plugged up and the petty officer's...
05:55Well, what do you want from me?
05:56A get-well card?
05:58Hold it.
05:58Hold it, Chief.
05:59Hold it.
06:00Can't you see I'm on the phone?
06:02Yeah, I know, Skip, but I...
06:03Well, what do you got there?
06:04Well, it looks like a bunch of slingshots.
06:06I think we'll run out of ammo faster than we thought.
06:08Those are the garter belts.
06:09Good news.
06:10We found the garter belts.
06:11Uh-huh.
06:12Oh, I'm sorry, Chief.
06:13I'm sorry.
06:14Hold on.
06:14Lieutenant, yeah, we found those items.
06:18Yes, I'll have them sent over right away.
06:20Yes, ma'am.
06:21You're welcome.
06:21You're welcome.
06:22Chuck, get those old nurses to call us right away, will you?
06:25Now, Chief, have you thought about...
06:26Get the phone, will you?
06:27Chuck, get the phone.
06:28Have you thought about maintenance, huh?
06:31Huh?
06:31Executive Officer Parker here.
06:32What is it?
06:33What, what, what?
06:35Right, that's right.
06:36I authorize building for the CBs and Area B.
06:39Right.
06:40It is?
06:42Oh, uh, Skip, did you know Area B was in the middle of the rifle range?
06:46No, no.
06:47Hello?
06:48Well, uh, tell the CBs to keep their heads down.
06:52Bunch of problems here myself.
06:54Cut off.
06:59McHale here.
07:00What?
07:01On the radar?
07:02Well, track it and give me a positive identification.
07:05Yeah, roger, roger, roger.
07:08Hanson, roger.
07:09Now, Park, what is it?
07:10What, what, what?
07:12Hi, Skip.
07:14I just want to congratulate you on your new job.
07:16And will you keep it down?
07:17Can't you see we're trying to conduct important business here?
07:19Right, Lieutenant.
07:21Affirmative.
07:22Yeah, your garter belts are on the way.
07:25Skip, the boys and I want to ask you permission to throw a little shindig.
07:28Great.
07:28That's what we need around here is a little action.
07:30I knew you'd say that, Skip.
07:31And we can rake in a pile of dough because...
07:33You, Bert, can't you see we're busy?
07:35Shove off, shove off, will you, boy?
07:36Yeah, you're in it, Skipper.
07:37Get out, out, out.
07:38And we've got your okay, Skip?
07:39Skip, as far as I'm concerned, you tell those boys full speed ahead.
07:43Uh, thanks a million, Skip.
07:45Toodaloo.
07:46You'd be posted.
07:47Oh, I sure will.
07:49Okay.
07:50Chuck, we got a scramble boy.
07:52PT-46 is hot on the tail of a nip sub.
07:54All right.
07:55Hey, uh, incidentally, what did Gruber want?
07:58Huh?
07:58Oh, I don't know.
07:59I was busy with the supply last time.
08:00Oh.
08:00Hello?
08:04Hello?
08:04Hello?
08:05Hello?
08:06Hello?
08:06Oh, it's for you, Skip.
08:07Oh.
08:09Yeah, hello?
08:10Hello?
08:10Hello?
08:11Hello?
08:13Let's go, gypsies.
08:14Press up the store window.
08:16We're in business.
08:16You mean it's Skip's on its okay groove?
08:18You bet.
08:18His exact words were it.
08:19Tell the boys my orders are all ahead full.
08:21Oh, yeah.
08:23Is that a base commander?
08:24Is that a base commander?
08:25That's us, huh?
08:26Well, let's not just stand around, men.
08:28Open up shop.
08:28You've got it.
08:29Cowboys.
08:30Woo-hoo-hoo!
08:31But careful, careful with the boozy.
08:33Good, good, good.
08:34Come, come, come, come.
08:35You're looking great.
08:36Come on, act on it.
08:37Wing.
08:38Oh, wow, wow-ee.
08:39Well, let's rotate those crumbs.
08:42Give me my lawnmower.
08:43I'll find those girls.
08:46All right, men.
08:48Get your money ready.
08:49The most fantastic wing-ding of the year is about to start.
08:52Give them a little sample, girls.
08:55Ah!
08:57That's enough.
08:58That's enough.
08:58That's too much.
09:00I'm right this way.
09:02All right.
09:05Hey, get back here.
09:07Careful.
09:08Hey.
09:09Beautiful.
09:10Beautiful.
09:12There they go.
09:13Wiggling their way right into my trap.
09:15Sure, sure.
09:16He's on his way in.
09:17Iron Pants Rafferty.
09:18His plane will touch down in a few minutes, sir.
09:20Good.
09:20Good.
09:21Good.
09:22McHale is as good as dead.
09:25The lost boys of Peter Pan Island didn't let me down, Elroy.
09:29Oh, sir?
09:30They turned Territupa into a regular Roman orgy, complete with half-dressed girls and everything.
09:36Oh, sir, may I go take a look?
09:37Oh, yourself, Lieutenant.
09:39What's the matter with you?
09:41Lieutenant Wilson should be arriving at McHale's quarters any minute now.
09:44Lieutenant?
09:45Nurse Wilson, sir?
09:47Just another nail in McHale's coffin.
09:49Here, Chuck, have this sent over to maintenance, will you?
09:53Yeah, right.
09:56Paul Saylor?
09:58I mean, nurse.
10:00How are you?
10:01Pretty nice.
10:01Tongue depressor you have there.
10:03Lieutenant Wilson, what are you doing here?
10:05Yeah, you're out of uniform.
10:06Captain Bainham thinks you've been working too hard, and he sent me over to take you for a swim.
10:10Captain Bainham?
10:11Oh, come on.
10:13Honestly, the captain's very worried about your health.
10:15Huh, that'll be the day.
10:16Well, there's something fishy going on around here.
10:20Here, I'll go.
10:22Madam McHale's beach.
10:23Oh, office.
10:25Huh?
10:26Check.
10:27Check, yeah, right, okay.
10:29Hey, Skip.
10:30No, no, no, don't tell me.
10:31The color of the gutter belts is all wrong.
10:33No, it's nothing like that.
10:34It's an Admiral Rafferty's plane just landed.
10:36He's on his way over here in a jeep.
10:37Oh, well, if that's all it isn't.
10:40Iron pants Rafferty's coming here!
10:42Oh, no!
10:44You don't suppose it's a sneak inspection, do you?
10:46No!
10:46Oh, I get it.
10:47That Binghamton is all sitting pretty in that hospital and I'm left out here in a griddle.
10:52But, Commander, I don't understand.
10:53All the captain wanted to do was...
10:55Yeah, it was to set me up to be clobbered by the toughest admiral in the fleet.
10:59Girlie, we got work to do.
11:00You better get out of here and get out of that suit.
11:02Yeah.
11:02Oh, you better put something else on.
11:04You wouldn't want to see her out of it.
11:06Yeah, yeah, no, come on.
11:07Now, we get this place a mess.
11:08We got work to do.
11:09Give me that book.
11:10Oh, God.
11:12Hey, I didn't know they like Admiral Rafferty so well.
11:14The guy's throwing a party for him.
11:15What?
11:16What the fuck?
11:17What the fuck?
11:18Learn how to call about your own haste sack.
11:20Perone of your buck.
11:22Ruber.
11:23I'll tear him limb from limb.
11:26Come on.
11:26Dance with the hula hot shots.
11:31Wiggle your blues away.
11:32Perone of your buck.
11:33Hey, buddy.
11:33You know who?
11:34Ruber.
11:35Oh, hi, Skip.
11:35For you to force dancers on the house, pick one out.
11:37Ruber, I'm going to turn you inside out for this.
11:39What do I do?
11:40Turn off that music.
11:41The party's over.
11:42But, Skip, in the office, you gave me a magic word.
11:44Oh, I did, huh?
11:45Well, let me give you another magic word.
11:47Iron pants Rafferty.
11:48And he's on his way here right now to hold a blitz and spectrum.
11:51Yeah, and the CEO of a skipper's responsible.
11:53Oh, come on.
11:53Let's move this stuff out of here.
11:55Fast, fast.
11:56Let's go.
11:56Come on, boys.
11:57Let's go.
11:58Move it, move it.
11:59Get it out of here.
12:00Hey, Cooper, boss.
12:01You take us home now?
12:02Beat it.
12:02I'm a little busy now, kid.
12:08Hey, Skip, a jeep's coming.
12:10Holy jumping torpedoes.
12:12The Admiral.
12:12Chuck, get these girls out of here.
12:14Quick, come on.
12:14But where?
12:15Anywhere.
12:16Here, put them in the air raid shelter.
12:17I'll steer the Admiral clear.
12:18Go on, go on.
12:19All right, now, girls, you are the skipper.
12:21Let's move out.
12:21Let's shake a leg.
12:22Or whatever you shake.
12:32All set, all splashed.
12:41Okay.
12:42Brace yourselves, you guys.
12:43Here he comes.
12:48Attention!
12:50Welcome to Tarotuba, sir.
12:52Acting base commander McHale at your service, sir.
12:56At ease, gentlemen.
12:57And as Parker officer and an executive at your command.
12:59What the devil is that thing around your neck, hmm?
13:01Oh, uh, it's a...
13:03Oh, it's an old native custom, sir.
13:06Welcome ashore.
13:07Piranha.
13:07Come on, where?
13:08Come on.
13:08Will you stop that gibberish, handsome?
13:11McHale, let's get down to business.
13:12Yes, sir.
13:13Whatever you say, sir.
13:14I heard when I landed that Captain Binghamton is in the hospital.
13:17Oh, that's right, sir.
13:18I'll pay my respects to him first, and then we get on with the inspection.
13:21Yes, sir.
13:21You men there will report to your stations at once.
13:24All right, this way, sir.
13:26Here comes the Admiral.
13:27He's on his way over here to see you.
13:29Yes, I know that, but this is incredible.
13:31I never saw McHale and his bandits move so fast.
13:33Oh, but, sir, those hula girls are still trapped in the bomb shelter.
13:36That's the perfect place for them, too.
13:38When I tip off the Admiral, McHale's career is going up in smoke.
13:43Oh, sir.
13:43I'll help you sit, Captain, in the bed, Elroy.
13:46Thank you, sir.
13:51Excuse me, Captain.
13:53Commander McHale couldn't go swimming because some Admiral arrived.
13:56I know he arrived.
13:57He's on his way over here, Elroy.
13:58Get her out of the room.
13:59Oh, yes, sir.
13:59Get her out of here.
14:00Yes, sir.
14:00Come here, please.
14:02Sir, it's the Admiral.
14:03He's here.
14:04Admiral, what if this is Pearl Harbor day all over again in the closet?
14:07Get her in the closet.
14:08Get the closet, all right.
14:09Hurry.
14:10In the closet.
14:13Oh, yes, sir.
14:18I hope it's here.
14:18Oh, my God.
14:21Well, Bingham, sorry to see you laid up like that.
14:33Oh, thank you very much, Admiral.
14:34But I'm all right, sir.
14:35Really, I am.
14:36Now, Admiral, please, for my sake, you've got to go right over to the air raid shelter, Admiral.
14:40You won't believe what's going on over there while I'm over here at death's door.
14:44Well, I'm sure the Admiral has seen a hundred air raid shelters like ours.
14:48They're really nothing fancy, sir.
14:50We don't even have carpets.
14:52Yeah, no, not even carpets.
14:53Tell them what you do have over there, McHale.
14:56They've got hula girls in the air raid shelter at this very minute.
14:59McHale?
15:00Who, who, hula?
15:01Girls?
15:02Well, he's delirious, sir.
15:03I'll get a doctor.
15:04Oh, don't you try to weasel out of this, McHale.
15:06We saw him with our own eyes, didn't we, Carpenter?
15:08Oh, you're right, it's rain, sir.
15:09It was absolutely disgraceful.
15:10Get back in bed before you catch pneumonia.
15:12Here, I'll get your robes.
15:13Shut up!
15:14No, I wrote it!
15:15Shut up!
15:23Captain, I'd like an explanation, and it better be good.
15:27I would shoot, and we would...
15:29Take off and get those girls out of the air raid shelter fast!
15:36Hey, lady, you forgot your ironing board!
15:38Yeah, yeah, and Mr. Parker, get that, uh, the lady's, uh, name rate and horsepower, yeah!
15:44Well, Captain, I'm waiting for the explanation.
15:46Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, sir, but you see, Admiral, I was...
15:48They were...
15:49Captain, we...
15:50He did it.
15:52Yeah, he's a terrible person, Admiral, terrible.
15:54He's always sneaking women around and shoving them in places.
15:56Me, sir?
15:57But, sir, you know I'd never...
15:58All right, stop it, both of you.
16:00Is this a naval base or a madhouse?
16:02I don't know what's going on around here, but I'll get to the bottom of it after my inspection.
16:07Commander McHale, shall we proceed?
16:09Yes, sir!
16:09Would you like to start with the base laundry, sir?
16:11No, no, not the laundry!
16:12The air raid shelter!
16:13Ladies, the air raid shelter!
16:14The air purls, I guess those little...
16:16No, no, no, no, no.
16:16Will you belay that nonsense?
16:18I'll decide where to start this inspection.
16:20Now, back to bed, sir.
16:21At once, and that is an order.
16:23Let's go, McHale.
16:24Yes, sir!
16:24Sir, how could you?
16:32Oh, shut up.
16:33That made you look like a swinger.
16:36I don't understand it.
16:38If Bingham had not a battle command, I'd swear you're suffering from combat fatigue.
16:42Oh, yes, sir.
16:42It's terrible, sir.
16:43Terrible.
16:44Because I don't want to talk, but...
16:46But what?
16:47Well, lately, sir, the captain's been having all kinds of terrible hallucinations about girls.
16:52He thinks he sees them all over the place, sir.
16:54Well, I saw the one in the closet.
16:57Oh, yes, sir.
16:58Shall we head for the base laundry, sir?
17:01No.
17:02Just out of curiosity, I'd like to start with the air raid shelter.
17:06And it better be ship shape, or heads will roll, I promise you.
17:10I shall ship shape you.
17:11Yes, sir.
17:11Right, right, right this way, sir.
17:18Admiral, you know yourself, sir, that the captain hasn't been himself lately.
17:22I'm sorry, McHale, but the least I can do is give him the benefit of the doubt.
17:25Let's go.
17:26Yes, sir.
17:27Be careful, sir.
17:33Oh, with pleasure, sir.
17:35Here, after you, sir.
17:36Right after you.
17:36Watch your head, sir.
17:37They're getting away.
17:53Stop those bushes.
17:54I'll get to the admiral about this.
18:00Well, afternoon, Captain.
18:01Going somewhere?
18:02As a matter of fact, I am.
18:04An urgent matter has just come up.
18:05Well, I'm very, very sorry, Captain.
18:07But as your physician, I'm ordering you back to bed.
18:10Now, wait a minute, Doctor.
18:10Wait a minute.
18:11I'm as healthy as you are.
18:12I made this whole thing up.
18:13Yes, on the contrary.
18:14Your tests show that you're suffering from high blood pressure, acute indigestion, hypertension.
18:19Oh, I'll hypertension you, you quack.
18:22Nurse, get me my uniform.
18:23Nurse, take his clothes and lock them up.
18:26I am sorry.
18:26Now, I'm only doing this for your own good.
18:28Now, you just wait a minute.
18:30I don't have to.
18:31Get your hands off me.
18:32You can't help.
18:35Oh, I get it.
18:36You're in on it, too.
18:38McHale's paid you off, hasn't he?
18:39I know what I'm being framed.
18:41Now, take it easy.
18:42All I want to do is to get you into bed.
18:45Or do I have to administer a sedative?
18:47Very cute, Doctor.
18:49But $100 says I can walk out of here any time I want to.
18:53Well, $100 says you can't.
19:03Well, the laundry's in pretty fair shape.
19:05But you'd better check those boilers.
19:07Yes, sir.
19:07Check the boilers.
19:08I still can't get over Binghamton and those hallucinations of his.
19:12Imagine thinking there'd be hula girls on a naval base.
19:15Oh, I know what you mean, sir.
19:17Yes, sir.
19:17War does terrible things to a man's mind, yes, sir.
19:21I'll write this way to the motor pool, sir.
19:22Well, I can crawl to the admiral with my hands and knees.
19:44Hey, pocket boy.
20:10Too cold in here.
20:11Yeah, well, here.
20:13Wrap these around you.
20:14Oh, sorry.
20:16Well, we don't wear grass, you know.
20:17Never mind.
20:19We go home now.
20:20Don't want big trouble.
20:21Tell me, my.
20:22Yeah, well, so long.
20:23Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.
20:24You can't go out there until I scout around.
20:26Now, get back over there.
20:28Oh, I'm telling you.
20:30Now, stay there.
20:30Come on out of those bushes.
20:35I know you're in there.
20:36I know you're in there, you.
20:36Hey, sailor.
20:50Hey, what are you doing?
20:50Sneaking up on an officer like that?
20:52Trying out loud.
20:53Oh, sorry, sir.
20:53Oh, sure, you're a numbskull.
20:56Hence a numbskull of you.
20:57What's your name?
20:59Binghamton.
21:00Captain Binghamton.
21:01Your Lord and Master Binghamton.
21:03Yes, sir.
21:03Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
21:05Boy, old Ironside sure was rough on you.
21:06Busted you all the way, huh?
21:07Busted.
21:08Oh, if anybody gets busted around here, it's going to be you.
21:10Right in the snoop.
21:11That's where you get busted.
21:12Where are the girls?
21:13Where are they?
21:13Where, where, where?
21:14Girls, I don't know about it.
21:15Yes, where are they?
21:16Oh.
21:16Oh, get your hands off of me, you nitwits.
21:20No, girls, sir.
21:21I see that girl.
21:22You get in there.
21:23I'll see if you're paying for this murder.
21:27I'll remember that.
21:31Admiral, over here.
21:32They're in the laundry shack.
21:33Yoo-hoo, Admiral.
21:35What in blaze is this?
21:36Bingham.
21:37Admiral.
21:37Well, he easy does it now, sir.
21:39Remember, he's been under a terrific strain.
21:41Yoo-hoo, Admiral Alfferty.
21:43It's me.
21:43I've got those hula girls in the laundry shack.
21:45I've really got you this time, okay?
21:47Oh, Binghamton, what are you doing running around screaming in that Stevens uniform?
21:50Well, I had to find those girls before you finished your inspection, Admiral.
21:53I found them.
21:54Oh, girls again.
21:56He's worse than ever, sir.
21:57I'd better get them right back to the hospital.
21:58Oh, no, no, no.
21:59Get your hands off me, you sneaky traitor.
22:01He's a sneaky traitor, Admiral.
22:02Oh, please, Admiral.
22:02You've got to take a look at these girls in the laundry shack right now, sir.
22:05Oh, calm down, Captain.
22:06Everything's going to be all right.
22:08Of course we'll look in the laundry shack.
22:10And then we'll go back to the hospital and take a nice nap.
22:13You're going to get it.
22:14Oh, me.
22:17Chiefs are coming.
22:18We're trapped.
22:19Admiral, we've already checked the laundry, sir.
22:21Remember, uh, check the boilers?
22:23Don't you try and worm out of it.
22:24This time you worm, you're finished, kaput, finito.
22:27Finito?
22:28Never mind, McHale.
22:29I think we should hear the captain out.
22:30I hear that, McHale.
22:31The Admiral's on to you.
22:33Oh, how you're going to suffer.
22:37Brace yourself for the evidence, Admiral.
22:39Stand by, sir.
22:40Here are your girls.
22:42The fire drill.
22:45The fire drill.
22:46I'll show you there, girls.
22:47I'll show you, Admiral.
22:48These are girls.
22:49All right, girly.
22:50I've got you now.
22:50You just show your face.
22:52Vincent Parker reporting.
22:53Fire drill 100% successful, sir.
23:00I'm sorry, Admiral.
23:01Sorry.
23:02It's all right, McHale.
23:03Captain Thingamon should know better
23:04than to obstruct a man pursuing his duty.
23:06Admiral, please, believe me, Admiral.
23:07All your girls are getting away.
23:08Your girls are in the suits.
23:10Sure there are, Captain.
23:11Sure there are.
23:12Back to the hospital, sir.
23:13I'll do it myself.
23:14Easy does it, Thingamon.
23:16A nice long rest,
23:17and you'll be as good as new.
23:18And if you're real good, Wally,
23:19maybe you get your stripes back.
23:22Admiral, please, you gotta believe me.
23:23It's a pop.
23:24I believe you, Wally.
23:25I believe you.
23:25Now, come along.
23:26You're going to be all right.
23:29Bye, Captain.
23:30Bye.
23:31And we'll see you on visiting day, sir.
23:40I don't care where Parker said
23:43to put those CVs.
23:44They can't bunk in a nurse's quarters.
23:47Skip mail call.
23:48Postcard from Binghamton.
23:51My dear acting base commander,
23:54having a wonderful time frisking
23:56on the sun-drenched sands of Moly Moly.
23:58Can't thank you enough
24:00for following me up like this.
24:02Ever so fondly,
24:04Wally Binghamton.
24:05P.S.
24:06Please excuse the ink blots.
24:09My martini spilled.
24:13Hello, base commander.
24:15What?
24:17All right, all right.
24:18I'll have somebody come over right away.
24:20Job for executive officer, Skip.
24:22Yes.
24:25Yeah, that's right.
24:26Yeah.
24:30Here.
24:31I want you to get right over
24:32to the petty officer's club
24:33and fix those sinks.
24:34The water's clear out
24:35to the dance floor.
24:36Oh, Skip.
24:37Attention!
24:39Right shoulder.
24:40Arms!
24:44Hard match!
24:45необход pulled.
24:48おい good.
24:50Paolo.
24:52Left.
24:58Motivation.
25:03Left.
25:04Left.
25:05Left.
25:06Left.
25:09Left.
25:10Left.
25:10Left.
25:11Left.
25:12La Monica.
25:13Left.
25:13Left.
25:13Left.
25:13Left.
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