- 2 days ago
While searching McHale's island for a stolen case of rare champagne, Binghamton captures Fuji, and places him under arrest, as a spy.
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00:00Detail!
00:13Keep me covered, Carpenter.
00:17Aye, sir.
00:26Be careful with that cashew pool.
00:28That's more important than the Norton bomb site.
00:30All right, put it down, put it down.
00:31Now, now, now, now.
00:32Come on, come on.
00:37All clear, sir.
00:39May I take a look at it now, sir?
00:40Be my guess.
00:45Is that beautiful?
00:47Look at that.
00:47That is probably the only case of vintage 34 Sauvignon champagne in the entire Pacific.
00:56Oh, sir.
00:57When I think of the party we can have with this when I'm promoted, I quiver.
01:02I positively quiver.
01:04Well, I hate to interrupt your quivering, sir, but how are you going to keep this a secret
01:07from McHale and his men until then?
01:08Oh, you can't keep it a secret from McHale.
01:11They probably knew about this.
01:12The men who was loaded on the freighter in San Diego.
01:14But I was too fast for them this time.
01:17The boat has sailed, Carpenter.
01:18Believe me, because when I turn these keys, this place is going to be locked up tighter
01:24than a mummy's tomb.
01:36Here, you proud hogs.
01:38Grab the bubble water and let's blow.
01:39Oh, you proud hogs.
02:09Here you are, Skipper.
02:33Savigny, 34.
02:35Pure liquid gold.
02:36Why, if I was the mercenary type, I could get 50 bucks a bottle for this giggle juice.
02:40Yeah, and I'd get 50 bucks more to see the expression on old Ledbottom's face when he finds out it's been heisted.
02:46You mean you guys swiped this from Captain Binghamton?
02:48Yeah, well, I got news for you, meatheads. This stuff is going right back where it came from.
02:52We're not sticking our necks out for a few crummy bottles of champagne.
02:55I got it when we got it.
02:57There's some things worth taking a chance for.
03:00Yeah, like what?
03:01This very important occasion, Skipper-san. It's my first anniversary.
03:04Hey, gee, congratulations, Fuji. I didn't even know you were married.
03:09Wait a minute, hold it, Chuck.
03:10That's right. Today is the 17th.
03:13Well, congratulations, Fuji. It's been a whole year since Fuji won his letters.
03:18That's the reason we swiped the giggle water, so we can celebrate in style.
03:21I'm even cooking big lobster dinner for tonight.
03:24Only, what good big lobster dinner without champagne?
03:27Yeah, how about it, Skipper? It's for the best doggone PW and outfit ever.
03:30Yeah, come on.
03:31All right, all right, hold it.
03:33Well, I guess I'm just not cut out to be a potty pooper.
03:37Okay.
03:38Well, I'll put it on iron.
03:41Post the guard at the gate.
03:44But, sir, I don't understand.
03:46Just this morning, you said you were saving the champagne for your promotion.
03:49Uh-huh.
03:50Well, actually, Carpenter, I do have a little promotion in mine.
03:54Sir?
03:54That new nurse on Ward 3.
03:58However, I'm only going to take one bottle.
04:04The rest of it, I'm going to leave right where it is.
04:07Untouched by you with hands.
04:09Unspoiled by Scott.
04:10Done?
04:11Did you see it?
04:12Oh, no, no, no.
04:12Well, then it's gone.
04:13Yes, it's gone.
04:14My beautiful sparkling champagne is gone, gone, gone.
04:17But, sir, the bar's on the windows.
04:18The guards, the padlocks.
04:20How is it possible, sir?
04:21I'll tell you how it's possible.
04:22I'll tell you in one sickening, horrible word.
04:25McHale.
04:25That's how it's possible.
04:26McHale's cold by champagne.
04:28McHale and that bunch of bubble grabbers.
04:30Captain, how can you be so certain it was Commander McHale
04:32when you don't even know how he got in here in the first place?
04:34Oh, I'll find out how he did it, Carpenter.
04:37I promise you, I'll get to the...
04:39I'll find out the answers in this thing if it...
04:42I'll get to the bottom of this...
04:44Sir?
04:45Sir?
04:47Are you all right?
04:50Wow, is tonight gonna be a wing day?
04:53Hey, that reminds me, time to check love's up out.
04:55You go ahead and do that, Foge.
04:57In the meantime, let me have your attention over here, men.
04:59We just received a little billet due.
05:01Our fearless leader wants us to do a recon check on Borelora Island.
05:05He says that there's been rumors of stepped-up activity.
05:08Activity?
05:08By who?
05:09The Goonie birds?
05:10All right, all right, hold it, you bunch of champagne guzzlers.
05:15You're still in the Navy, remember?
05:17Now, if you guys want to get back here in time for the festivities, you better get yourself
05:21a move on.
05:21And I mean, I'm the double.
05:23Yeah, come on, you guys, you heard the skip.
05:24Let's move on, let's move on, let's hit the deck.
05:26Come on, man, let's move, let's move, let's nip those nips.
05:29Oh, sorry, Foge.
05:30No offense, just a bigger speech.
05:32That's okay, Parker-san.
05:33I know you are the best friend Imperial Navy ever have.
05:37Hey, thanks, Foge.
05:39Boy, the best friend.
05:40I bet it's solid.
05:50Sir, there's not a sign of McHale and this man.
05:53Ordering them on that phony mission was brilliant strategy.
05:55Oh, sir, you've completely fooled them.
05:56Oh, stop buttering me up and find my champagne.
05:59Let's go, move on.
06:00Now, if this isn't the Saturday end, not only does McHale hijack my champagne, but he
06:13turns his place into a nightclub so he can guzzle it in style.
06:17Tear the place apart.
06:18Dr. Williamson, sir, quick, come over here.
06:29Look out here, sir.
06:29Quick.
06:31Sir, look, look right there.
06:35That frog man, what's the matter?
06:40It's a Japanese frog man.
06:41Yes, sir, it's an invasion.
06:43Sound the alarm, man.
06:44Nick, wait, you'll see us, you man.
06:46Stand by over there.
06:47Stand by.
06:47And then, whose side are you on?
06:50What's the matter?
06:51The Marines guard the door.
06:53They'll take them alive.
06:54I'll watch our flank.
06:55Aye, sir.
06:56Go.
06:57Here.
07:02I got him, sir.
07:05I got him.
07:06All right, you got him.
07:07Make sure you got him now.
07:08You got him.
07:08All right, you.
07:09All right.
07:10Who are you?
07:11What do you got to say for yourself?
07:12Speak up, speak up, speak up.
07:14Oy vey.
07:17Oy vey.
07:17What does that mean?
07:18I don't know, sir.
07:19I don't speak Japanese.
07:21I told you.
07:21Don't you speak any English?
07:24Stop that dirty talk.
07:27There must be somebody around here who understands this gibberish.
07:30I believe Commander McHale speaks Japanese, sir.
07:32But I hardly think that you'd want to ask, can you?
07:34Oh, of course you hardly think, you nitwit.
07:36That's why you're still a lieutenant.
07:38You hardly think.
07:39Get in touch with McHale.
07:40Have him come back here on the double.
07:41We're going to take this miserable wretch over to the base for interrogation.
07:44Aye, aye, sir.
07:45But what about your champagne, sir?
07:47Who can worry about petty larceny at a time like this?
07:50Go.
07:50Yes, sir.
07:51I just may have captured the Nathan Hale of World War II.
07:56None of that judo stuff.
08:03Signal from the base, Kip.
08:04It's urgent.
08:06Now, how do you like that?
08:08Old Ledbottom wants me back to help him interrogate a spy he caught on our island.
08:13On our island?
08:15Well, there must be some mistake, Skip.
08:16Gee, if there were any Japanese on our island, we'd know about it.
08:20Oh, boy.
08:21Here goes Spice, Christy.
08:22Let's go home.
08:23It's Fulcher.
08:23He's been called.
08:24They must think he's the spy.
08:25All right, all right, all right, boys.
08:30Sir, you don't believe I captured a Japanese spy.
08:33I don't know what you call him, huh?
08:36Why, that sort-off little runt.
08:38Why, Captain, you must be kidding.
08:41Look at him.
08:42Come on, look at him.
08:44He's just a teenager.
08:46Well, yeah, he looks like a kid you're liable to meet in any malt shop.
08:50A kid you're liable to meet in any malt shop in Yokohama?
08:54Look at those beady eyes.
08:55Look at that sneaky look on his face.
08:57I know a spy when I see one.
08:58You're a spy, spy, spy.
09:00Oh, but, Captain, he's just a harmless kid.
09:02I'll bet he doesn't even shave.
09:04Doesn't shave?
09:05Doesn't shave?
09:06Maybe they did Mata Hari.
09:08Mata Hari?
09:09That's very funny, sir.
09:09Mata Hari didn't know.
09:11Very good, sir.
09:12You heard me.
09:13Shut up.
09:14I ain't coming to entertain the spy ring.
09:17Okay, I'll make him confess.
09:18Find out where he hit his camera.
09:19Come on.
09:20Well, I'll do my best, sir.
09:21But I still think you're barking up the wrong tree.
09:24What did you do, Fuji?
09:26You're going to be a spy.
09:28Ah, so.
09:29I went to the beach and went to the sea.
09:31I went to the sea and went to the sea.
09:33I'm tired of it.
09:34It's just like I told you, sir.
09:36He's just a humble fisherman.
09:37He's no spy.
09:38He comes from the Bunga Islands, about 200 miles north of here.
09:42He was caught in a typhoon.
09:46And the boat tossed and turned and up and down and back and forth and side to side.
10:00And the boat tossed and turned and up and down and back and forth and side to side.
10:03And the first thing you know, the boat sank and he had to swim for it.
10:07There he was on our island.
10:08That's it.
10:09Boy, just in the nick of time, too.
10:10I was getting seasick just listening to him.
10:11Will you get out of here?
10:13I'm a little scared.
10:14No, I'm afraid.
10:15McHale, you're not going to believe this trial-sized Mikado, are you?
10:18Well, he's telling the truth, sir.
10:19He's no spy.
10:22Look, if you were to press charges against him, you'd be the laughingstock of Comfleet.
10:27If I were you, I'd put him in a canoe and send him back to his village.
10:32If I were you.
10:33McHale, if you were me, I'd cut my throat.
10:37Savage.
10:38Sir.
10:38How soon can we get a plane to send this so-called humble fisherman up to Comfleet for professional interrogation?
10:45There's a transport being overhauled right now, sir, and it should be ready to take off in about three hours.
10:49Good.
10:49Now, send an urgent dispatch to the Admiral.
10:51Tell him that I have captured a Japanese spy, maybe their key operator in the South Pacific.
10:55I see.
10:56We'll see who's the laughingstock of the fleet when I get the, uh, Navy Cross.
11:02Man, we've really got problems.
11:12They doubled the guard.
11:13We gotta do something.
11:14We just can't let Fuji rotten some prison compound for the duration.
11:17Well, you don't have to worry about that, Virge.
11:19Well, when it comes to spies, they just...
11:23Boy, he's in trouble.
11:25Hey, look.
11:26Why don't we tunnel in and heist him, just like we did the champagne?
11:30Nah, no dice.
11:31It took us three days to dig that last tunnel.
11:33We got less than three hours till sayonara time.
11:36Yeah, what we've got to figure out is how to keep that plane from taking off.
11:40That's right.
11:41But Binghamton's convinced that by turning in Fuji, he's gonna end the war.
11:44The only way to keep him from making that flight would be if...
11:47Would be if...
11:50Would be if what?
11:53Nah, nah, it never worked.
11:54What?
11:55Shh!
11:58Now, what I was thinking of was...
12:01Well, suppose if all of a sudden there was no more war going on,
12:05would you guys question a spy if the fighting was over?
12:08Of course not.
12:08What's the sense of dream?
12:09We're 2,000 miles from Tokyo.
12:11The war ain't nearly over.
12:12All right, I know that, but we need breathing room.
12:15Now, just suppose we could convince a few of these guys around here that the war was over.
12:19I'm willing to bet that old Leadbottom would get so excited,
12:23he'd even forget about the flight.
12:25He'd be excited.
12:26What about the rest of the base?
12:27They'd be dancing in the boondocks.
12:30Yeah, and who's to say them guards down at the brig won't want to be in on the celebrating too?
12:34Right.
12:35And that's when we spring Fuji.
12:36Skip, this idea is so brilliant, it's even worthy of me.
12:40Oh, boy.
12:42Gentlemen, it is exactly 2 hours and 37 minutes to VJ Day.
12:47Let's get out of here, people.
12:49Hey, well, I don't understand, Skip.
12:51I think...
12:51Hey, you don't, guys.
13:01These ought to be enough to start VJ Day with a bang.
13:03All right, you bunch of peacemakers, you all set?
13:06Yes, let's go!
13:07How about you, Willie?
13:08You all zeroed in on the right frequency?
13:09Got it, Skip.
13:10Atta boy.
13:11All right, Chuck.
13:12You're on the air in exactly seven minutes.
13:14Now, please, will you come in on cue?
13:16And the rest of you guys, the minute you get my signal, start blasting and keep blasting
13:22until I give you the word to stop.
13:24Gentlemen, it was quite a wall while it lasted.
13:27Testing, testing, testing.
13:49There's a skipper's signal, guys.
13:50We're in business!
13:56Hey, hey, hey!
13:57What's with you guys?
13:58Hey, where you been hiding, mate?
13:59It just come over the radio.
14:01The war is over!
14:02Woo!
14:04What is all that racket out there?
14:06Why, why, why?
14:07What is that?
14:08I don't know, sir.
14:09It almost sounds like New Year's Eve.
14:10Oh, New Year's Eve in the middle of July.
14:11Mr. Binghamton, have you heard?
14:13The war is over!
14:15Oh, McHale, knock that off!
14:17Save that for April Fool's Day.
14:18No, no, no!
14:19The Japanese have surrendered.
14:20They've thrown in the towel.
14:21So, come on, it's coming in on the radio now!
14:23They can hear it!
14:23Stay with me!
14:24Come on!
14:25Hey, Sonny, turn on the emergency frequency over here.
14:27Come on, boy, make a step in.
14:30Stand by all commands!
14:32The next voice you hear will be that of our Commander-in-Chief,
14:35the President of the United States!
14:41My friend,
14:42and you men in the service are my friend.
14:47It is my pleasure to inform you all,
14:51or all you,
14:53that the Japanese Empire has fallen.
14:58Victory is ours.
15:02Small dog, small dog.
15:05Down, fella.
15:07He is so excited.
15:08The fighting is over.
15:12And the war has been won.
15:18Did you hear that, Captain?
15:20Now what do you think?
15:21I don't know what to think.
15:23I never heard fella before.
15:24I can't believe it.
15:26Stand by all commands.
15:27Armed Forces Radio now takes you to London, England.
15:31Come in, BBC.
15:32Yes, quite so.
15:34You get all that sort of stuff.
15:36Well, this is Cecil B. Cecil,
15:38speaking to you from the shadow of Big Ben.
15:44Yes, hear it in the background.
15:46The war is over.
15:49I think that bell has flipped its bloody bowler.
15:53Yes.
15:53I'll repeat.
15:54The war is over.
15:56Peace.
16:03Oh, boy, baby.
16:04Slipped me by.
16:06It was a great war one and lasted.
16:07Skip.
16:08Forward my mail to Ebbets Field.
16:10Brooklyn.
16:10Here I come.
16:11I see.
16:14You'll come back here.
16:16He was out of uniform.
16:17Yes, sir.
16:18Yes, sir.
16:19Hello, free French headquarters.
16:21Voulez-vous, if you please.
16:22This is Armed Forces Radio.
16:24Do you read me French headquarters?
16:26Come in, French headquarters.
16:26This calls for champagne.
16:29Gentlemen, here we are.
16:31The best champagne in the South Pacific.
16:34Savigny 34.
16:36Savigny 34.
16:37You stole that for my supply hat.
16:40Well, why not let bygores be bygores, Captain?
16:44We were saving it for you, sir, till the end of the war.
16:48You stole my champagne.
16:49You admit it.
16:50And you're giving it back.
16:52You're right.
16:53The war is over.
16:54Cheers, Captain.
16:56The people over here are going out of their, um, how you say, uh, cotton-picking mines.
17:02Oh, Captain.
17:03Uh, don't you think you'd better tell the rest of the base the good news?
17:06After all, they should hear it first from their fearless leader.
17:09Yes, sir.
17:09And now I hear this.
17:14This is your fearless leader.
17:17This is the captain speaking.
17:20The war in the Pacific is over.
17:22You heard the man?
17:36The war is over.
17:37Come on, let's get out of here and really tie one on, huh?
17:40Wait a minute.
17:40What about the prisoner?
17:41We can't leave him.
17:42Who cares about spies and peacetime?
17:44It's BJ Day, swabbies.
17:45Come on, there's more of that tank box.
17:47Where are the keys, Fuji?
17:55Over there.
17:56Hey, Fuji, we've got a great place to stash it till the boat picks you up.
17:59Come on, now.
18:00Our chief of staff thanks you.
18:15Well, that was a great speech, Captain.
18:17Yes, sir.
18:17I'm not through.
18:18Oh, come on out and join the celebration.
18:20Oh, good idea.
18:21Yeah, let's go.
18:22Wait a minute.
18:23You want to snort, you're going to pop your own cork.
18:25Well, Admiral Fujiyama Sakamoto has just signed the peace treaty and is about to say a few
18:33words to the American people.
18:35Admiral Fujiyama Sakamoto.
18:41Oh, so, this Admiral Sakamoto, hi, everybody.
18:46Well, war is over.
18:49We give old cowards try, but we ruse anyway.
18:52Well, tough teriyaki for our side.
19:05Fuji's all sprung and accounted for, Skip.
19:07Came off smoother than the great train robbery.
19:09Nice going, Groob.
19:10Now, listen.
19:11Start tapering off on that celebration.
19:12I don't want this to get too far out of hand.
19:13You understand?
19:16Come on, where are you going, bird brain?
19:20Just a minute, please.
19:21Whom are you calling bird brain?
19:25Pidgin head.
19:26Pidgin head.
19:27Pidgin head.
19:29Listen, you've had the course, Lebbottom.
19:31I have spent two years listening to your what, what, what, and your who, who, who.
19:36You know something, friend?
19:38I am sick, sick, sick.
19:41Oh, my, my, my, my.
19:49You shouldn't have done that, Carpy.
19:50I thought so, too.
19:51He can send you up for 20.
19:54Yai, yai, yai, yai, yai.
19:56Whoa, boy.
19:58It's Admiral Rogers.
19:59Let's go.
19:59We'll all get 20 years.
20:00I know, but we can't leave Binghamton in a drink.
20:02Come on, give me a hand here.
20:03Come on up, Captain.
20:07Come on up, boy.
20:08A little bit more now.
20:09Atta boy.
20:10Back up, Lee.
20:13Balls away.
20:14Balls away.
20:17Hey, it's hot.
20:19Uh, afternoon, eh, huh?
20:20May I belay the small talk, McHale?
20:22What in blazes is going on here?
20:24What kind of a madhouse are you running, Binghamton?
20:27Lower your voice when you talk to me, you loudmouth.
20:30I'm not one of your lackeys anymore.
20:32You're drunk, Binghamton.
20:33I'll have your stripes for this.
20:35You will.
20:36I'll save you the trouble.
20:37There's a stripe.
20:38I don't need them after the war's over anyway, huh?
20:40What are you talking about?
20:42McHale, what is this nonsense about the war being over?
20:44I'm telling myself what I mean.
20:47You know, blowhard, gold-branded, blowhard, you.
20:50I got a better idea.
20:51There's a radio on the 73.
20:53You can listen to the news for yourself.
20:54Well, I have an idea.
20:56We'll both listen.
20:59Skip, Mr. Parker's still down there.
21:01Who?
21:02How about Admiral?
21:04Admiral, our radio's out, sir.
21:05If it had better at headquarters, sir.
21:07Where is he?
21:08Oh, stay out of there.
21:11I tis nay every day you can win a grand war like this.
21:15And so we say to the bonnie lads and lassies who helped defeat the Japanese.
21:19The people of Scotland say,
21:21Hoopman.
21:22They say that a lot, Miss Kev.
21:23The war is over, huh, Binghamton?
21:30Well, I have news for you.
21:31I have just begun to fight.
21:33What is the meaning of this hoax, mister?
21:34Speak up!
21:35Well...
21:35Speak up!
21:36Well, maybe I can explain, sir.
21:38You do that, McHale, and for your sake, it better be good.
21:41It better be good for everybody's sake.
21:43Topside!
21:43All of you!
21:44Up!
21:44Up!
21:44Up!
21:44Up!
21:44Up!
21:45Up!
21:45Up!
21:45Up!
21:46Up!
21:46Up!
21:47Up!
21:48Up!
21:49Up!
21:50Up!
21:51Up!
21:52Up!
21:53Up!
21:55Up!
21:56Up!
21:57Up!
21:58Up!
21:59Up!
22:00Up!
22:01That you can be sure of.
22:03Sir, with your permission, I'll draw up the court-martial papers personally.
22:06That will be my pleasure.
22:08This time, McHale, you've gone too far.
22:11Endangering the entire base is an excuse for another one of your wild parties.
22:15This is absolutely the...
22:16Wait, Scott, what is that?
22:22Hey, Joe, we surrender.
22:25We quit, we quit.
22:27That's one of them you nip super PTs.
22:29We've been trying to capture one of those for months.
22:33We're over, Joe. We're over.
22:35You win. You win.
22:37Hey, Skipper, they must have picked up our broadcast.
22:39Yeah, they fell for my Admiral Sakimoto.
22:41Gee, I thought my accent was terrible.
22:43You didn't check? Well, you were great.
22:45Why do you think I asked you to do all those invitations?
22:48Wait a minute, McHale.
22:50Are you going to tell me you planned all this?
22:53Well, yes, of course, sir. Yes, sir.
22:56Well, we knew that there was a PT boat out there, sir.
22:59And we knew that she was much too fast for us, so...
23:02You took a long shot chance.
23:03Faked the end of the war, hoping that they would turn into the nearest port.
23:08Why, yes, yes.
23:10That's sort of the idea. Yes, sir.
23:16Come on, go get them, you guys.
23:19Well, it's a bit unorthodox, as usual, McHale.
23:21But great thinking.
23:23Thank you, sir.
23:24Great thinking. What about my spy, my prisoner?
23:27Oh, belay that chatter. I'll attend to you later.
23:30Seaman Binghamton.
23:31Come on, McHale.
23:32Seaman Binghamton.
23:35Well, now, don't you worry about a thing, Wally.
23:37I'm going to put in a good word to Commander McHale.
23:38And if you're really willing to work, well,
23:40we can always use another enlisted man on the crew.
23:42Hold it, hold it, hold it.
23:55I've got to make a speech.
23:57Well, congratulations, Fudge.
24:00We're sorry we have to toast you with plain old coconut juice,
24:03but we all know that the champagne went in a good cause.
24:06Hey, hey, jackpot, guys.
24:10Look what honest old Lester just found.
24:12Genuine Scotch Hooch.
24:14Ten years old.
24:15Oh, and just where did honest Lester find this genuine Scotch Hooch?
24:19Well, you see, there was a supply boat tied up at the main side, Skip.
24:22And when the crew hit the chow line, I tippy-toed up on the deck.
24:24Oh, no, no, I've seen it all.
24:27After what we just went through with that giggle water,
24:29you'd give Binghamton a second chance to put a noose around our neck?
24:33Gee, Skip, if you feel that way, I'll just take the stuff right back.
24:35You do, and I'll break every bone in the thick head of yours.
24:39This is a happy occasion.
24:41Come on, boys.
24:42Hey!
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