- 19 hours ago
The African adventure continues as the trio’s battered estate cars struggle across rivers, swamps, and mountains to complete their journey to the Nile’s true source. One of Top Gear’s greatest adventures concludes with chaos and triumph
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Top Gear Season 19, Top Gear S19E07, Top Gear Africa Special Part 2, Top Gear Nile journey, Top Gear Uganda, Top Gear BBC 2013, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, Top Gear adventure, Top Gear finale
Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
Thank you for supporting our channel
Top Gear Season 19, Top Gear S19E07, Top Gear Africa Special Part 2, Top Gear Nile journey, Top Gear Uganda, Top Gear BBC 2013, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, Top Gear adventure, Top Gear finale
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MotorTranscript
00:00my goat bone and it's got a cockerel on it yeah i have one of them and the kettle oh god what
00:13my bed's gone out of alignment our adventure began in uganda where armed with three 1500
00:22quid estate cars we were given a spectacular challenge you will find the source of the
00:29river nile to make life easier we converted our cars into mobile homes living quarters combined with a
00:41workshop nobody in the history of africa has ever been more comfortable than this having failed to
00:53find the source of the nile in western uganda southeast yeah it's no good we decided the actual
01:02source was in northern tanzania that is going through rwanda tanzania to there it is a long way
01:10right and so a 600 mile journey began a journey that has already taken us through the toughest
01:19terrain imaginable whoa come on come on and on top of all this it turned out i was traveling with a
01:34thief how long's that been there grief is that my door well you're not using that there you didn't
01:44even notice that's it that's it
01:46so
01:55As dawn broke, the peace and serenity of this beautiful Ugandan morning
02:24was shattered by the bellow of a wild animal.
02:29Clarkson!
02:37Last night, while Hammond and May were around the campfire discussing Uganda,
02:42I made an interesting modification to my car.
02:45Yesterday I discovered hill starts were very difficult.
02:48I can't ride the clutch because of the throttle problem
02:51and I can't use the handbrake because it's broken.
02:53So what I've done is fitted this log at the back.
02:57You tow it along normally, but then when you want to start on a hill,
03:00you let the car roll back onto it, use it as a wedge and set off easily.
03:05It's simple, it's elegant, it's brilliant.
03:10As we set off on our long drive, the mood was a little fractious.
03:19If I know James May at all, well, I'm sorry to have to say, I do.
03:25He won't be so cross about the theft of half of his bonnet
03:29as he will be about the shoddiness of the execution of the theft.
03:33It's not a neat job.
03:35That will rankle.
03:37Look at it!
03:38I mean, that looks like it was done with a knife and fork by the council.
03:42It's not square, it's not neat, he's wasted material,
03:46he's left sharp edges, it's all bent.
03:49I cannot conceive of the mind of a man who would look at that
03:52and think that was the right way to do it.
03:55I don't mind you taking a bit of my bonnet.
03:58That's fair.
03:58I do mind you doing such an appalling bloody job of that,
04:02you ham-fisted old.
04:03Honestly, I could do a better job than that with the end of a bulldozer.
04:06Well, I couldn't find any tools.
04:09The back of the car is full of bloody tools.
04:12The biggest tool in this operation was you.
04:15A pair of tinsets looks like a pair of robust scissors
04:18and their function is obvious.
04:20They are obviously not a hammer.
04:23This could go off.
04:24Obviously not a screwdriver.
04:26They are obviously not a spanner.
04:29They are obviously designed.
04:31There we go, let's got rid of him.
04:32Soon, we came to an uphill stretch,
04:38so I decided to test my new handbrake.
04:42Simply pop it off the back.
04:45Roll it out.
04:49Watch this.
04:52Roll back.
04:59The wooden handbrake is holding me.
05:01They're simply set off.
05:05Here we go.
05:09Oh, yes.
05:12So there we are.
05:14Hill starting solved.
05:17Sometimes my genius is...
05:19It's almost frightening.
05:23Well, fair dues.
05:24That works.
05:25You do have to tow a log about,
05:27but it works.
05:28I am a happy man today.
05:34Chaps?
05:34Yes?
05:35Are we likely to see a gorilla?
05:38I hope we do see a gorilla, actually.
05:39I'll stay with my body and say,
05:41could you do a better job than that?
05:42But look on the bright side, James.
05:44It's going to be a scorcher today.
05:50Oh, my God!
05:51My handbrake bounced up,
05:56and has broken my hotel...
06:00Oh, you've got a glass in your duvet!
06:02Stupidest idea in history!
06:05Jeremy!
06:06What?
06:07People walk around here barefoot.
06:08You've got to sweep all this stuff.
06:09We have.
06:10But look, God gave us a tool for just such a moment as this.
06:15Would you not agree this is the ideal tool, James, for this one?
06:19Yes.
06:20Hammers do have their uses.
06:21I can think of one right now.
06:22After cleaning up my mess,
06:24we carried on through yet more breathtaking countryside.
06:29Look at this.
06:30Look at this.
06:31Look at this.
06:32I've got to sweep all this stuff.
06:33We have.
06:34But look, God gave us a tool for just such a moment as this.
06:37Would you not agree this is the ideal tool, James, for this one?
06:39Yes.
06:40Hammers do have their uses.
06:41I can think of one right now.
06:43After cleaning up my mess,
06:45we carried on through yet more breathtaking countryside.
06:49Look at this.
06:51Look at the state of that view.
06:53Wait a minute.
07:00Does the world get any prettier than this?
07:13In fact, the only blot on the landscape was our hideous Ford Scorpio backup car.
07:21I've just realised I forgot to eat anything this morning.
07:24I'm starving.
07:25Well, Hammond made me a lovely plate of beans.
07:28Beans?
07:29What sort of beans?
07:30Do you know they were baked?
07:32Soon, the dirt track gave way to some perfect Chinese-built roads.
07:40That includes a blessed relief for our battered cars.
07:52And after a simple 50-mile cruise, we reached the border.
08:00Goodbye, Uganda, and thank you.
08:02That was an education.
08:05And now, Rwanda.
08:07I've got to know anything better, Rwanda.
08:09As it turned out, James knew even less.
08:15James.
08:16What?
08:17Apparently they drive on the other side of the road here, Rwanda.
08:20Do they really?
08:22James, really?
08:23We're not fooling you.
08:25Yeah, yeah.
08:26Mercifully, there was more Chinese tarmac, so we were able to surge through a country
08:44where actually none of us had really known what to expect.
08:49In 1994, this country witnessed the worst genocide in the history of humankind.
08:59A million people died in around about three months.
09:03A million people in three months with machetes and garden tools.
09:09And that was only 18 years ago, and now, look, it's incredible how quickly things, on
09:15the surface, at least, mend themselves.
09:24Hello.
09:25Hello.
09:26Hello.
09:27Hello.
09:28It's constant.
09:29All the roads, even out here in the sticks, are just absolutely three deep in people.
09:35And they all wave when you go by, and you have to wave back.
09:38Hello.
09:39Hello.
09:40Hello.
09:41Hello.
09:42Hello.
09:43Hello.
09:44Hello.
09:51After many more miles of waving, smooth tarmac and stunning scenery, we arrived on the other
10:00side of Rwanda, at its border with Tanzania.
10:03That was a long drive, but we've done it all of Rwanda.
10:10Now for an interminably long wait.
10:15The paperwork did indeed take an age, but, happily, Jeremy and I found a way to pass the
10:21time.
10:24Funny.
10:25Ha ha ha.
10:26And then, finally, we crossed over into Tanzania.
10:33Shall we make camp here, gentlemen?
10:34It's been a long drive, with a long border crossing of 900 hours.
10:38Despite the calm stillness of the evening, James plainly still had a bee in his bonnet.
10:55About his bonnet.
10:57This evening, I am going to need these, and I'm going to need these, and this.
11:07And I'm going to need these tin snips, which are like scissors, but much stronger.
11:13I'm going to need those.
11:15I'm going to need all these things for this evening.
11:19Right.
11:20I'm up to 18 million pieces of glass.
11:23Look in another fold.
11:24There you go.
11:2518 million and two.
11:26Three.
11:27Why do they call this stuff safety glass?
11:30I mean, it isn't.
11:31Why can't it just break into four pieces?
11:34Why does it have to break into 19 million pieces?
11:37And it goes everywhere.
11:39You know, breaking can be in bed and it's outside your house and it goes in your pyjamas.
11:4318 million and ten.
11:50No.
11:54No.
12:00No.
12:05Yes.
12:09No.
12:13No.
12:14No.
12:15No.
12:16No.
12:17No.
12:18No.
12:19No.
12:20No.
12:21No.
12:22No.
12:23No.
12:24No.
12:25No.
12:26No.
12:27No.
12:28No.
12:29No.
12:30No.
12:31No.
12:32No.
12:33No.
12:34No.
12:35No.
12:36No.
12:37No.
12:38No.
12:39No.
12:40No.
12:41No.
12:42Good morning, viewers.
12:47I'm afraid things may have got a little out of hand in camp last night,
12:50but it's good news.
12:52I found another piece of scrap metal, and I managed to mend my bonnet.
13:00I'll admit, I was furious when James stole my bonnet scoop.
13:06But then, on Jeremy's car, I found something that does the job just as well.
13:09I'm calling it the poop scoop.
13:14I was a bit cross about losing my lavatory, but then, staggeringly,
13:20in the middle of a remote field in Tanzania,
13:23I found a rear window that fitted into the back of my car.
13:28I mean, it looks like it's meant to be here.
13:32It's uncanny.
13:33Unfortunately, the modifications to Hammond's now half-timbered Tudoroo
13:40seem to have impaired his visibility.
13:44Oh!
13:46Oh, no!
13:50Bad!
13:51Anyway, we've woken up, slightly thick heads.
13:54We're all mates again, which is just as well,
13:56because we've got an extremely long day.
13:58Oh.
14:08That is...
14:10Ann River.
14:11Yes. Yes, it is.
14:13Well, there must be a bridge somewhere.
14:15Why must there be a bridge?
14:16Well, there must be.
14:16Well, there isn't. Look!
14:18Well, there isn't one there, but there'll be a bridge.
14:20I know what.
14:22It's time to deploy the ARU.
14:25What?
14:26The ARU!
14:27Aerial Reconnaissance Unit.
14:29I knew this sort of thing would happen.
14:32Where did that come from?
14:33I've been working on it for the last couple of weeks at home,
14:36but just such an eventuality...
14:38Have you?
14:38Have you really?
14:39Did you build it?
14:40Yeah.
14:41Really?
14:42Yeah, well, you've got a helicopter licence.
14:43Yes.
14:43You fly it.
14:44Right.
14:45I operate the camera underneath.
14:47Yes.
14:47That swivels about.
14:48Yes.
14:49And you tell us what it's seeing, James.
14:54Right, are we ready?
14:55Yes.
14:56I've got a picture.
14:57Hammond?
14:58Yes.
14:58Begin!
15:04Yes!
15:05There she goes!
15:06There you go.
15:07That's good.
15:09Right, that height is good.
15:10Right, now head that way, down the river.
15:13Point it down.
15:14You're not pointing at the river.
15:15Point it down.
15:15Well, you want me to point it down?
15:16No, you.
15:17You fly level.
15:18You point the camera down.
15:19Yeah.
15:20Right.
15:20Yeah.
15:22Got it.
15:23River turns left.
15:24That's good.
15:25There's no bridge, though.
15:26Good go.
15:27Pivot right a bit.
15:30Yeah.
15:31Swivel left camera a bit.
15:36Oh, hang on a minute.
15:37What?
15:38There's like a big weir thing.
15:40It's not a weir, James.
15:41That's the biggest waterfall I've ever seen.
15:44Right, that's relevant.
15:45Right, good.
15:46No bridge.
15:48And it was the same story when we looked upstream.
15:54Bring it back, Hammond.
15:57With the ARU back at base,
16:01we had to work out how we could cross this river
16:04that was full of killer waterfalls,
16:06Bill Hartseer,
16:07and many teeth.
16:09Why don't we build
16:16a car ferry?
16:18What?
16:19Well, like a bar and everything?
16:20No, no.
16:20Like that thing we saw in Albania.
16:22Like a raft?
16:24Why don't we build one?
16:25I used to build them when I was a kid.
16:27Well, I mean, I fell in a lot,
16:28but
16:28it would.
16:32What else do you need?
16:33Oil drums.
16:34You need to lash the rope together,
16:35maybe some nails and a hammer.
16:37Probably a hammer, yeah.
16:38Oil drums.
16:39Oil drums underneath.
16:40This sounds like the worst business management course ever.
16:43You know those outward bound courses
16:44where you've got a chicken and some rice?
16:45Okay, then.
16:46Thanks to Hammond,
16:47it's back to the studio.
16:49All we need is a platform
16:50big enough to take the car
16:51and that will take its weight
16:52and that floats
16:52and then we pull it across on ropes
16:53like the Albanian one.
16:55We drove through a village,
16:56did we not,
16:57about the distance
16:58behind those banana trees.
17:00Yes.
17:00What, do you think?
17:01They sell rafts for cars?
17:02They might sell car fairs.
17:03No, no, no,
17:03but they've always got,
17:04they've always got those big...
17:05Don't want a banana,
17:06I don't want a headscarf,
17:07I'd like a car ferry.
17:08Oh, we've got one in the back, sir.
17:09Look,
17:09I'm going to divide this up.
17:11I'm going to find some rope,
17:13you go and find some oil drums,
17:15you go...
17:16I'm going to get some wood.
17:17And some wood.
17:21Right, off you go.
17:27Have you got the hammer and stake?
17:28Yep.
17:37Your ropes, come on!
17:42You're getting nearer, James.
17:44I'm not.
17:48Oh.
17:48Would you say you were nearer, James?
17:51No.
18:00With HMS wobbly in the water,
18:03Hammond and May decided
18:04that my car should go first.
18:12Good.
18:13Tiny, tiny bit left.
18:15Straight, that's good.
18:17Hold on.
18:18You need to go...
18:19Oh, it's close.
18:21Tiny bit of right.
18:25Okay, your back wheels are on.
18:27I am now boarding our ferry.
18:29That's good.
18:31As I inched forwards,
18:32a hungry audience gathered.
18:37You'll feel when you're on
18:38because you'll hit the chock.
18:41About two and a half feet.
18:43Feet?
18:43Yeah.
18:44Go in.
18:47A bit more.
18:48Just about to go off.
18:48There you go.
18:49You're on.
18:50Put it in gear and turn off.
18:54These have got to come with us
18:55for the other side.
18:56Yeah.
18:58With the ramps on board,
19:00we set off.
19:02Whoa!
19:02Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
19:05What did you just do?
19:06Cast off.
19:07Are we now underway?
19:08Yes.
19:09Pull on the rope.
19:11I am.
19:11I'm Jeff Capes.
19:13I am pulling
19:14a BMW 528i Touring
19:17across a crocodile-infested river.
19:19And the impressive thing is
19:19you're not making a fuss about it.
19:21No, I'm not showing off,
19:22but I am.
19:23James, wait.
19:23James, James, James.
19:24What?
19:25It doesn't make any difference.
19:25Stay at the back.
19:25Please stay at the back.
19:26That doesn't make any difference.
19:27James, please stay at the back.
19:29Oh, stop being such an old woman.
19:30It doesn't make any difference.
19:32Oh, really?
19:32So that barrel's just come back
19:34above the water again?
19:35Yeah, but it's not going to go
19:35all the way down, is it?
19:37I feel like an explorer now.
19:40Right.
19:41If I get on the bank
19:42and James throws me
19:43a yellow rope from that corner.
19:44Can you get on the bank?
19:44Yeah, good idea.
19:45These holes get really slippery.
19:47Yes.
19:48Right.
19:48You're on the bank.
19:51Good catch.
19:52That wasn't brilliant.
19:53Right, I'll go to the back.
19:55Wait.
19:57Well,
19:59I can't...
20:00People are now turning over
20:00to watch
20:01red or black or something.
20:03Well, I'm sorry.
20:04We made it.
20:05Well...
20:06Nobody was expecting that.
20:07Got it.
20:08Mind you,
20:09there was still
20:10the small matter
20:11of disembarking.
20:14Uh...
20:15Not convinced.
20:17Yes.
20:23Well, you're nearly sure.
20:25Aren't I sure?
20:27Not...
20:27Not entirely sure, no.
20:29Yes, I'm sure.
20:30Is that wheel ashore?
20:31Yes.
20:33We weren't convinced,
20:34so we gave him
20:35a helping hand.
20:37Here we go.
20:39Yes.
20:40Fingers...
20:41Oh, yes.
20:42Oh, yes.
20:42Oh, yes.
20:44God, I'm a good driver.
20:46Oh, God.
20:51Back on the other bank,
20:53it was Hammond's turn
20:54and for some reason
20:55and for some reason,
20:55he decided to make life
20:56difficult for himself.
20:58Why are you backing on?
21:00Because it is,
21:02as we saw,
21:02quite difficult
21:02getting off at the other side,
21:04yeah?
21:04Yeah.
21:04And your BMW is now there,
21:05so it could tow me off.
21:07The only towing eye
21:08is at the back.
21:08It does mean
21:09I'm going to have to reverse on.
21:10Hold on, hold on.
21:14Does that look right from there?
21:15Have a look.
21:16What?
21:18Oh.
21:23Oh.
21:24No, no, no.
21:24Stop, stop.
21:25You're turning the wheel.
21:26I did not turn the wheel.
21:27You did.
21:27You've turned it minutely.
21:28Turned your left hand down minutely.
21:31Oh.
21:31Oh.
21:32You're miles off the end.
21:34A little bit more
21:35and stop.
21:37Oh, I am so on board.
21:39Right, James,
21:40you can pull this time.
21:41You'll see how easy it is
21:42and I should be ballast.
21:43There, that's the ticket.
21:46No, but now we're all on the same side.
21:48You can't have on this side.
21:49What?
21:49I can't go on the other side.
21:50Well, we are.
21:51Look at the angle.
21:52Gentlemen.
21:53Climb through the car.
21:54It is impossible to stand there
21:56because there are two ramps
21:57piled on top of one another.
21:59Hammond, get in your sitting room.
22:01I can't.
22:01Get in your sitting room.
22:02No.
22:03No, you need to be on the other side.
22:04Well, climb over the bloody car.
22:07You've got heavier as you've got.
22:08Will have you?
22:08No.
22:11That was tied on.
22:13No, I took the rope off.
22:14We needed the rope.
22:15I took it off.
22:17I can go on the other side.
22:19As it turns out.
22:20Perfect.
22:21Right, let's go.
22:21Forget the chair.
22:26Are we there yet?
22:27Somebody's had my chair.
22:29That man's got your chair.
22:30Good for him.
22:32Enjoy it.
22:34Oh, look at that.
22:35On the other side,
22:37I was determined to make a better job
22:39of disembarking than Jeremy had.
22:43Power.
22:44Oh.
22:45Some of you's on board.
22:47Now, you've got...
22:47Whoa, we've got a problem.
22:48No.
22:51No.
22:52That's all completely hopeless.
22:53And you've sunk the raft.
22:55And your cat flap's terrible.
22:58Go!
22:59I then pulled Hammond off.
23:02Yay!
23:03And that gave me an idea.
23:05Why don't we use this
23:07to pull the ferry across
23:08with the Volvo on it?
23:13Why would we not do that?
23:16Rather sceptically,
23:18Hammond and I went back
23:19to get my Volvo.
23:21Crack on.
23:21Our father who art in heaven,
23:26if you're there,
23:27make it go upside down.
23:29Please, please, please.
23:32Steady!
23:32That looked a bit perilous.
23:38Shall I come back?
23:39A little tiny bit.
23:41Whoa!
23:41Stop making squeaking noises.
23:44The thing is,
23:45the BMW has what we call
23:46a 50-50 weight distribution,
23:4850% over the front axle,
23:5050% over the back,
23:51which is why the raft was level.
23:53With James' car,
23:54all of the weight,
23:55well, 70% of the weight
23:56is over the front axle.
23:58That's why the whole thing
23:59is tipping down.
24:01Are we attached?
24:02Yes.
24:02We attached the parallel...
24:03I can't...
24:03Jeremy, we have begun!
24:05Right, so I pull you
24:07across the river.
24:08Yeah, gently.
24:08Yes, very, very slowly indeed.
24:13If it goes under,
24:14it'll probably go nose in,
24:15won't it?
24:16Yeah, I'm going to stand
24:17at the back.
24:17Are you ready?
24:20He's going already.
24:21Look, hang on.
24:22This is Captain Hammond
24:23ringing down to the engine room.
24:25Oh, you've got the slacks.
24:26That's plenty fast enough.
24:28Oh!
24:29Yes, gently.
24:30Seriously, Jeremy,
24:33we are going under.
24:35That's plenty fast enough.
24:37That's too fast.
24:37Too far?
24:38Oh, yes.
24:39Oh, yes.
24:42Gently, gently.
24:43Seriously.
24:44We're going in.
24:45Stop!
24:46Jeremy, absolutely stop,
24:48or you'll have deaths
24:49on your hands.
24:52I've been shouted at so much.
24:53I need a zesty drink.
25:03Eventually, our third
25:04and final car
25:05was ready to go ashore.
25:09Forward.
25:10Oh, my God.
25:13Well, credit where it's due.
25:16Come on!
25:16You've got to admit,
25:21that is quite a finish.
25:22Come on!
25:23With a flourish.
25:26It had been a fraught undertaking,
25:28but the fact was that,
25:29against the odds,
25:30all three of our cars
25:31were on the other side
25:33of the river.
25:33That's the first time,
25:36I think,
25:37in ten years,
25:38we've ever done anything
25:39ambitious and successful.
25:41Yeah, I know,
25:42I think you're right.
25:42And doesn't it feel good,
25:43actually?
25:43It feels weird, frankly.
25:44We just feel,
25:45normally,
25:45there's one of us
25:46in the water,
25:47in the jaws of a lion,
25:48going,
25:48oh, it's dead.
25:50It was genuinely peculiar.
25:51Oh, my God.
25:52We must bear contemplate
25:53the journey to God.
25:53Gentleman.
25:54Gentleman.
25:54Because there's...
25:56It's gone!
25:59It's completely gone!
26:00It's completely sunk!
26:01It's completely gone!
26:03Well done!
26:03You can see how
26:04beautiful our job is!
26:05Very good.
26:06That's how deep it was.
26:08That could have happened to us.
26:09It could have done.
26:10But it didn't.
26:13Right, onwards.
26:14Leaving the producers
26:15to clear up their mess,
26:17we set off.
26:21And soon discovered
26:22that Tanzania's roads
26:24were not built
26:25by the Chinese.
26:28Pothole, pothole,
26:29pothole, pothole,
26:30big one.
26:31It is like driving
26:34through a minefield.
26:35If you take your eye
26:38off the road
26:39for a second,
26:40you are into one
26:41and they are massive.
26:44I don't know how
26:44James is going to be able
26:45to cope with this
26:46because he can only
26:47concentrate on
26:48one thing at a time
26:50and when he's driving,
26:51that is normally
26:52an obscure poet.
26:54Oh, yes.
26:56Philip Larkin
26:57has done some very good.
26:58Oh, no,
26:59I hit a pothole.
27:01Soon,
27:02James hit a pothole.
27:04No!
27:05So hard,
27:06it took out
27:06two of his tyres.
27:10Um,
27:12do you remember,
27:13it seems like
27:14months ago,
27:15but at the beginning
27:15of this voyage,
27:16we looked at these tyres
27:17and said,
27:18there's no way
27:19those tyres
27:19will survive Africa.
27:21The signs are not good,
27:22are they?
27:23In the way,
27:23they're not.
27:25It's goodbye.
27:26You just went here
27:26for the backup car.
27:27You know the code?
27:28Yes.
27:28Oh, no, wait,
27:29the backup car's
27:30at the bottom
27:30of a crocodile-infested river.
27:31I don't need the backup car,
27:32I've got spare wheels,
27:33you're not very useful to me
27:34or helpful.
27:35Please continue.
27:36I'll see you later.
27:37See you, James.
27:37Bye.
27:38Bye.
27:38Bye.
27:40Once the annoying brothers
27:41had left,
27:42I discovered
27:43it was rather more
27:44than just tyre damage.
27:47Ho, ho, ho.
27:49Both wheels
27:50had shattered.
27:56Having raided
27:57the support truck
27:58for more,
27:58I set off
27:59and caught up
28:00with the others
28:00in a swarm
28:01of lake flies.
28:07Stop!
28:12This told us
28:13we were getting close
28:14to Lake Victoria.
28:15At 150 miles across,
28:17it was too wide
28:18for us to even think
28:19about building
28:20a homemade ferry.
28:22So we decided
28:23to use one
28:23that someone else
28:24had made earlier.
28:28Have you ever seen
28:29more flies than that
28:30in one place, ever?
28:36It would be a million pounds
28:38if you go and stand out
28:38there naked for an hour.
28:40to you.
28:45Thank you so much.
29:19The voyage across Lake Victoria took more than 16 hours, but there was good news on the other side. The ferry would drop us close to the River Grimetti, the river that we believed would take us to the source of the Nile.
29:39What we're going to do is find the mouth of the river, track that back to its source, and we've done it, then we've got our place.
29:4930 seconds.
29:58Keen to demonstrate the advantage of four-wheel drive to the bewildered crowd, Hammond insisted on going first.
30:06Right. Here we go.
30:09Oh.
30:14Yeah.
30:21Okay.
30:22I am a shore.
30:27This is, uh, you're letting yourself down the BBC and the whole country with your incompetence, Hammond.
30:46Oh, come on.
30:52Sorry about that, skipper.
30:54Leaving.
30:56Hey, we can leave too.
30:58And so we did.
31:02Bye, Hammond.
31:04Bye.
31:04Hello.
31:13As we disembarked a few miles away, on a proper landing jetty, Hammond was being rescued by the locals.
31:19Everybody needs money now, and I don't have any money.
31:38I've got biscuits.
31:39I've got biscuits.
31:40I've got biscuits.
31:41I've got more biscuits.
31:42More sweets.
31:43One second.
31:44Um, okay, this is becoming alarming.
31:49Um, I've got crisps.
31:57With my lunch all gone, I rejoined my colleagues.
32:03With hindsight, offering out the biscuits was a mistake.
32:06Yes, when you've got 40 mouths to feed, unless you're Jesus-style,
32:13with two biscuits isn't brilliant.
32:18Well, that arrival was very happy and glorious,
32:20and we're excellent ambassadors for Britain and her long tradition of exploration.
32:25In other news, I've fitted a fan.
32:28I've got to go back.
32:33We then broke out the map and went off to find the mouth of our river.
32:41The beautiful and majestic Grametti.
32:44In my mind, it was pretty.
32:53Yes.
32:54This is quiet, though.
32:55No.
32:56It's not quiet.
32:57No.
32:58I admit, it's not picturesque and it's not peaceful, but if we find the source of this...
33:04We've done it.
33:05You can't argue with it.
33:06We're in the history books.
33:07It flows through Lake Victoria, into the Nile, along the Nile, through the Med, and into the Atlantic.
33:13Yeah.
33:14And as far as I can work out, it's there.
33:17That's about 70 miles.
33:19We've only got 70 miles to do.
33:21The good news is that some of it, we can follow the river on that road, but that bit, the last bit, it's off-road.
33:30Yeah.
33:31Yeah, no, I mean, look, there's no tracks or anything.
33:34Well...
33:35So that's it.
33:36It can only get prettier.
33:40And it did, because soon we were in the Serengeti.
33:52A vast plane teeming with animals, all of which, as usual, were way beyond the reach of our camera teams.
34:05Wildebeest. Wildebeest.
34:10And a zebra.
34:11I've seen more already here on the Serengeti than I saw in Sir Richard Hammondborough's Planet Earth Live programme.
34:26Why didn't you show us all of these animals, Hammond, in your Planet Earth Live programme?
34:30There's millions of them. We could have worked there.
34:33Shut up!
34:34Soon, we stopped to check on the course of our beautiful river.
34:42And here we saw the most amazing wildlife yet.
34:49They are the funniest creatures on Earth, aren't they?
34:55Why are they so funny?
35:00This one's been to the Daktari shop in Florida, hasn't he?
35:03Every single piece of kit got along.
35:06Americans, I don't know why, but American tourists, and I know we watched in America, we're not saying we're all like this.
35:12But when you travel...
35:13You're ridiculous.
35:16Sadly, the Americans departed, leaving us with nothing to look at except some hippos.
35:22So we got back on the road for the last few miles of our epic journey.
35:27Do you know, I'm going to put my hand on my heart and say that this is the best Top Gear adventure we've ever had.
35:38It's a noble quest in a truly stunningly beautiful country, full of utterly hospitable people.
35:45And then, of course, there were our cars.
35:49A trio of 1,500 quid high-milers.
35:53All had presumably been sold because their owners thought they were on their last legs.
35:58But they'd come here, and they'd taken on the worst that Africa could throw at them.
36:05And they'd survived.
36:08But which had been the most impressive?
36:11Well, at the next river check, we had a chat about that.
36:14Normally, we pick one car that's best.
36:18I think, on this occasion, I can't be convinced mine isn't the best.
36:23And I'm sure you're in the same...
36:25I wouldn't allow anybody to convince me that mine isn't the best.
36:28So, in other words, let's, on this occasion, just agree to disagree and say they're all the best.
36:33Yes.
36:35Like one of those primary school sports days.
36:36Yes.
36:37Everybody gets a prize.
36:38You've all won.
36:39There are no losers at St Barnabas'.
36:41No, that's fair. No, let's go with that. They are all the best.
36:43I think that's fair, that's reasonable.
36:44They're all the best.
36:45They've all done well together.
36:46Gentlemen, let us now go and find the source of this disgusting, scummy river.
36:49Yes.
36:50OK.
36:52Rubbish.
36:53If this were a school sports day, here's how it's worked out.
36:57Everyone's got all excited because the BMW, the fat kid,
37:01and the Volvo, the geeky, specky, nerdy kid, have both finished the cross-country course.
37:05Oh, well done. We're so amazed you did it. We're so surprised you did it.
37:07Yes, well done then.
37:08But let's not forget the fact that the genuinely sporty kid, the Subaru,
37:12who's actually good at this stuff, also finished, and finished well.
37:17Because it's the best fact.
37:24Ten minutes after this show's finished, you won't be able to describe what Jeremy was driving.
37:29But you'll be able to describe this.
37:31Because it's got personality, character, something about it.
37:36I'm going to miss it.
37:38Now we're alone, viewers, I can tell you that the Volvo is the best car here.
37:46Because let's not forget, this is a family estate.
37:50It's a family estate pretending to be a BTCC racing car.
37:53So it's compromised as well.
37:56It shouldn't be here. It shouldn't have got this far.
37:58But it is, and it has. And that's why I love it.
38:02It has the biggest heart.
38:04How can May possibly say that his Volvo's better than this?
38:11It's been like a seal on the entire journey, endlessly dragging its stomach along the floor.
38:18And it broke his back.
38:20He'd have been better off doing this journey on a space hopper.
38:23And then we have Hammond's Tubaroo, which is as needlessly complicated as those idiotic trousers he insists on wearing with all their special pockets and clips for mozzie spray and a hunting knife and a special compass.
38:37There's a point.
38:39I've done the entire journey in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
38:44And that's what the 5 Series is. It's the familiarity of home here.
38:53You're a car, you're a sitting room, you're a bedroom, you're a fridge, you're a power station that charges up my phone every night.
39:00But most of all what you are, what you've become, is a mate.
39:06And that's what makes a car special.
39:09That's what makes a car great.
39:12You start to think of it as a person.
39:15You start to love it.
39:18What our cars deserved now was a relaxing cruise to the finish.
39:22But that wasn't going to happen.
39:26Ah! Ah! Ah!
39:28No!
39:31Whoa!
39:34The road was a rutted nightmare.
39:38And it was peppered with sharp stones.
39:41It was a car killer.
39:45This is absolute puncture alley, this.
39:49Bloody Nora!
39:50What the f*** was that?
39:54No, Jez has stopped by the side of the road. Hang on, something's up.
39:57Jez has been hit, I think, probably by a stone into his window.
40:00Stone into your window.
40:02Something's blown up in there.
40:04What the f*** was it?
40:05What the f*** was it?
40:06That?
40:07Is it an airbag?
40:08Airbag's gone off.
40:09Look at the smoke still pouring out of it.
40:11Is that the airbag?
40:12Yeah, the airbag just went off.
40:13There was a massive flash.
40:14That's really weird.
40:15My ear.
40:16I was saying, this road is so rough it's going to set the airbags off.
40:17I said that just a few miles back, yeah.
40:18Well, I've never seen that.
40:19No, me neither.
40:20Whoa!
40:21Now I'm worried about this one.
40:23By now, we'd had enough and wanted to stop for the night.
40:25But this was the first time.
40:26It was the first time.
40:27It was the first time.
40:28I was saying, this road is so rough it's going to set the airbags off.
40:32I said that just a few miles back, yeah.
40:34Well, I've never seen that.
40:36No, me neither.
40:41Whoa!
40:43Now I'm worried about this one.
40:47By now, we'd had enough and wanted to stop for the night.
40:51But this was dusk on the Serengeti.
40:55Feeding time for the wildlife.
40:57So we had to reach a safe camp that was 30 miles away.
41:0130 miles that turned into a massacre.
41:09Oh, dear.
41:10Short to bits.
41:14Have you got any more fronts?
41:16Yes, I've got one more.
41:22That was new three minutes ago.
41:24Three minutes later, I've got a flat on the front.
41:32We've lost another one.
41:34This road is beyond belief for killing cars.
41:38It was inevitable, really, that eventually one of us would suffer some damage that was slightly more serious than a puncture.
41:48Oh, my God.
41:49You are in big trouble.
41:51That one is straight.
41:52And if you come around the other side, that's on full left.
41:55You've broken a track rod steering.
41:59Oh, my God.
42:00You can see the wishbone.
42:02There.
42:03If you look in there, you'll see the end of it where it's, I mean, gone.
42:06Is it sheared?
42:07Yeah.
42:08That is completely sheared off.
42:10That might have killed the car.
42:13What's up?
42:14He's got a puncture.
42:15Right.
42:16He's also got a sheared wishbone.
42:17Are you kidding?
42:18I'm not.
42:20That's a game over, isn't it?
42:21The next morning, in our safe camp, we counted up the toll from Death Road.
42:42I had three punctures, one of which I've still got.
42:46Two airbags went off, both of which deafened me and gave me heart attacks.
42:49Well, all four shock absorbers are completely ruined.
42:54Yours any better?
42:56Well, I had two punctures.
42:58Fuel line came off.
43:00Front bumper collapsed.
43:01I'm not even bothering to look at my shocks, because I know they've been absolutely shot.
43:05Shot absorbers.
43:07But on the plus side, all the bits that attach the wheels to the car are intact.
43:13Speaking of which.
43:16See, where is he?
43:19These are the remnants of the point at which the track control arm went, and you can see it was just rotten from the inside out.
43:33It was going to go at some point, and when it did collapse, it took the anti-roll bar out on the way past.
43:39So, only option is, and it is quite a long shot, this is all useless, to use the remainder of the track control arm that's under there attached to the hub, and use this to fabricate and weld on replacement bits for that.
43:54At times like this, the procedure is clear. We do leave a man behind. But because we'd come so far together, and because we haven't had breakfast yet, James and I decided to bend the rules.
44:14We'll give him until 11 o'clock.
44:17Fair enough.
44:19It's an hour and ten minutes. Fair enough.
44:21What time did we get in last night? About two?
44:23Something like that. It went on forever.
44:26Look at what I've just slept in. Look at it.
44:27I mean, look at this. Thank you.
44:42At exactly three minutes past 11, James and I were parked on the main road by the camp, waiting to see whether we would finish this journey as a twosome or a threesome.
44:52Hammond is making a bit of a habit of this on these adventures now. Bolivia, his legfellow.
45:00Oliver.
45:02Oliver. Didn't it make it? I can't remember.
45:04It did, but we had to wait for it.
45:06Oh, it's days and days.
45:12Oh, hang on.
45:15Can you hear that?
45:16I can, Jess, yeah.
45:17Is that the soundtrack of an approaching moron?
45:21Or is it our support truck?
45:23With his silly little face at the wheel.
45:26What is coming over the hill?
45:29Please let it be a lorry. Please let it be a lorry. Please let it...
45:32Oh.
45:36Rob, we can't be...
45:37No, no.
45:39Pleased face.
45:41Oh, great. We're all met together as a team.
45:43All right, good. Here we go.
45:44Well done, mate.
45:46Yeah, well done.
45:48It's very good.
45:49Really impressed.
45:50Yeah.
45:51We're impressed that you're impressed. Yeah, great.
45:52Good.
45:53That's tremendous.
45:54Anyway, Hammond, while you've been gone, James and I have made a bit of a decision.
46:01What?
46:02The source of our river is somewhere up there, okay?
46:05Now, only one of us can technically get there first.
46:07They'll be the one who's remembered. The other two will be forgotten, because nobody remembers who comes second.
46:12So, we propose a race.
46:15Yeah.
46:16Three, two, one, go.
46:17And whoever finds the source first, into the history books, buried in Westminster Abbey.
46:22They dig up Livingston, throw him away. You got it wrong.
46:25You don't have to be buried immediately.
46:27No, no, no, no.
46:28When you die.
46:29It's when you're dead.
46:30When you die. So, are we ready?
46:31Yes.
46:32Hey, the producers aren't here. They're on the other side of that river.
46:33Well, you can shout, go.
46:34I'll do it on my tannoy tannoy.
46:35Yes, yes, yes.
46:36Are we ready, gentlemen?
46:37Yes.
46:38I am ready.
46:42This is for everything.
46:44The greatest race in the history of mankind is about to begin.
46:50Three, two, one, go!
46:55Power, et cetera.
47:01Where's Jeremy?
47:02What's he doing?
47:05Have they learned nothing from last night because I did?
47:09Speed causes punctures.
47:1317 miles an hour, that's what you need.
47:16I don't want a puncture.
47:17I want to win this because this is a race for glory.
47:20The winner will go in the history books.
47:22The losers will be quietly forgotten.
47:25They'll end up opening a shoe shop probably in Durham.
47:28Top Gear's ARU had found an area of hilly terrain 12 miles to the east, where we believed we'd find the source of the Nile. Getting there first mattered.
47:43Richard Hammond hot on my tail.
47:46In the quest for the source of the Nile with his repaired suspension.
47:50This is as fast as I dare go on.
47:57Whoa!
47:58Ow!
47:59The car's just undergone major surgery.
48:03I've just closed the patient's chest and I'm forcing him to play rugby.
48:08If Richard Hammond beats me in this race, he will be knighted by the Queen. She will say, Arise, Sir Richard.
48:16Oh, you already have.
48:22Where the hell's Jeremy?
48:28This James May Christian motoring isn't working.
48:31They're not getting punctures.
48:33I'm going to revert to type.
48:35Power!
48:37I am a one-man dust machine.
48:49Hammond's going for it. He's making a move.
48:58For the next few miles, we jostled for the lead.
49:02It's neck and neck.
49:04Oh, no!
49:08I'm going left. I'm going to do it.
49:10Oh!
49:12Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
49:14Ooh! Ah!
49:17Please!
49:19There they are!
49:20I'm catching!
49:24I know a warning light's come on saying my car needs a service.
49:30Oh! Oh, this is just...
49:33Killing my car!
49:35Ow!
49:38We are now in the area where the source should be, so we needed to go off-road to find it.
49:44We're going to have to go right somewhere.
49:47Oh, hold on. Hold on. What's this?
49:49There!
49:53Come on!
49:57Bugger Clarkson!
49:58Yes!
50:00Yes!
50:02Way to go there!
50:03Ha, ha!
50:05Westminster Abbey is mine!
50:09As the plane opened out, we realised that in normal racing, people tend to know where the finish line is.
50:18Which way? Which way?
50:20But we had to rely on intelligence and coming.
50:21Right, trees. Trees all growing along a little valley. That can only mean river.
50:34That is a valley. I'm not heading down into there. The source of the Nile isn't going to be in a valley.
50:40Ha, ha, ha!
50:42Uphill, you see. Uphill is good.
50:47I've totally lost my bearings here. Totally lost.
50:54Hang on a minute.
50:55Ooh.
50:57This looks...
51:00This looks like a stream.
51:03It's going downhill that way.
51:05So follow it up.
51:08And the source is in those rocks.
51:12Has to be.
51:14Oh, yeah.
51:20Rocks.
51:22Many rocks. That is the sort of magical place I anticipate finding the source of the Nile.
51:31There's a bit there moving, so it's that way.
51:34Right, here we go.
51:38It's got to be this way, and Clarkson clearly has the same idea.
51:43And so did Hammond.
51:45Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow.
51:48Can you imagine children of the future learning in history lessons about Sir Richard Hammond?
51:54Nobody wants to think of that.
51:58Because only one of us could achieve immortality in the history books, things soon got a bit ugly.
52:04Hammond's attacking him!
52:08Get off!
52:10Ha, ha, ha!
52:11I'm through.
52:14Hammond is properly in my way now.
52:17The meaning is annoying me.
52:19I know how I can get Hammond out of my way!
52:28Oh, God!
52:30Not that!
52:34I'm genesis-ing him!
52:36Ahh!
52:38Sadly, though, genesis didn't work.
52:41So I ran him.
52:44Fuck!
52:48I'm in the lead again!
52:54Whoa! Whoa!
52:56This Volvo is so far out of its comfort zone.
52:59I go down in history!
53:00Everything tells me this is, it's the highest ground for miles around.
53:16It's got to be in there.
53:18It's got to be in there.
53:19What the fuck?
53:20But there can be no more than a few hundred metres now.
53:23We can afford to take a few knocks.
53:25Whoa!
53:27James, your suspension has collapsed.
53:29Your back wheel is coming off. I'm not joking.
53:30My car's collapsed. I'm going on foot.
53:32As now were Richard and I.
53:34End of the road for you, old friend. I'll tell you what it's like.
53:36I'm off.
53:38I'm off.
53:40I'm off.
53:42I'm off.
53:43I'm off.
53:45I'm off.
53:47I'm off.
53:49I'm off.
53:51I'm off.
53:53I'm off.
53:55I'm off.
53:56I'm off.
53:57I'm off.
54:11It's geology, Jeremy. Geology.
54:13What have we got here?
54:14We've got bedrock.
54:15We've got the ground sunk down, indicating the presence of a spring in my mind.
54:27Lizards.
54:43Look at it.
54:45A stream has done this.
54:47But where's the source?
54:48The source.
55:01This has been wet.
55:03Wait.
55:06This is soggy.
55:08This is soggy.
55:10This could be a stream.
55:12It is a stream I'm walking up.
55:14It is.
55:19F***ing Hammond is not having this.
55:28It goes downhill. That doesn't mean it starts at the top.
55:33Wait.
55:35Wait.
55:37Is it?
55:39No.
55:42Here?
55:45That?
55:46Yes.
55:48Yes!
55:50Sorry, mate. That was close.
55:52Hammond!
55:54Well done.
55:56That is the source of the River Nile.
55:58I'm going to put my finger in it. Excuse me.
56:01That is the root of civilisation that nourished the ancient Egyptians.
56:04The ancient Egyptians. No, not my finger. The water.
56:07That's going to nourish the Sudan, Egypt, Greece, Italy, Spain, Morocco, Algeria.
56:15That water is the lifeblood.
56:18Of all of it?
56:19Of all of it.
56:20So, that is the undisputed source of the River Nile.
56:26That is the man who found it.
56:29And somewhere way down there is the ruined Volvo that brought him here.
56:34We now have to claim this little pond for Top Gear, so just bear with me, chaps, while I...
56:42Is the Top Gear flag slightly bigger than the Union flag?
56:45Yes, that's right, isn't it?
56:46Yes, that's right.
56:47Yes, that's right.
56:48Have we got this the right way up this time, so we don't get...
56:51So, here's what I'm suggesting, chaps.
56:53We plant the flags, and then we do what all the great Victorian explorers did, is pose for a photograph.
56:59Yes.
57:00By our discovery, yes?
57:02Wait for the birdie.
57:04Three, two, one.
57:06The fun on four wheels just doesn't stop tonight, BBC HD's heading for Mumbai next.
57:34The toughest place to be a taxi driver.
57:37Ooh.
57:38Yeah.
57:39Awesome.
57:40There's no driver.
57:41There's no driver.
57:43This runs a reh biased, disorderly driver.
57:45Ah!
57:46There, we are.
57:47But we'll show you more of theabolical APPS.
57:50Oh sorry, no?
57:51The manavely driver.
57:53We are looking for one of the insane drivers.
57:56And there's a opposite direction on the car, and there's no driver and strigor.
57:57A key driver.
57:58Who can calm down, clearly.
57:59With the name of Luke Nemeth, it looks fucking forever.
58:02And there's no driver.
58:03Yeah, no, notお, you need.
58:04Oh, there's no driver.
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