- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't chew on that, don't
00:10chew on that, don't chew on that, Kyle, give it to daddy, give it to daddy, Kyle, Kyle,
00:16Kyle, come here, baby, I love you, give me the card, give it, let go, let go.
00:30Kyle, this is my Ernie Banks rookie card, Ernie Banks, number 14, Mr. Cub, stop, don't
00:40cry, don't cry, I love you, I love you, here, here, here, here, here, Roop Walker, see, lifetime
00:50227, eat him.
01:00Whoa, you don't get up from that one.
01:19What happened to his leg?
01:23It's like a starfish, it'll grow back.
01:25All right, Jim, damn, what are you watching?
01:31Oh, my God, Jim, this is Saving Private Ryan.
01:38The girls can't watch this.
01:40Are you kidding?
01:41They can't take their eyes off it.
01:44Mommy, they guys are going full.
01:48Okay, you're handling the nightmares on this one.
01:51Hey, didn't happen for Hellraiser, it's not going to happen tonight.
01:55Hellraiser, yeah!
01:57Yeah!
02:00All right, all right, well, we're going to the podiatrist to get Dana's creepy, weird
02:04tone-over move.
02:05Oh, good move, Dana.
02:07I think that's why you're still single.
02:10No, wait, it's your personality.
02:13Oh.
02:14What's wrong?
02:14One last chance to say goodbye.
02:16Oh, come on.
02:17Come on, same as Jim.
02:18Oh.
02:19Don't get it.
02:19All right, here's the stuff for the park.
02:24I pack toys, diapers, and wipes.
02:27Yeah, and there's stuff in there for the kids, too.
02:31That's great, freak toe.
02:34Have fun at the park.
02:36We will.
02:37We love the park.
02:38We have fun at the park.
02:39Where's the park?
02:48Outside?
03:01I don't even know what to drive.
03:03Oh, boy.
03:14This is the kind of day that makes a fellow want to kick off his shoes and run barefoot
03:19through the grass.
03:22Why don't you do it over there?
03:24That guy just let his dog pee.
03:31Hey, girls.
03:32Oh, she's on the swing.
03:34Oh, we could do that.
03:36Or you could run around, and I'll sit here and throw grapes at you.
03:44Sweet.
03:47All right, darling.
03:49Yay.
03:50Jim, the ice cream guy's here.
03:51What's your pleasure?
03:53You know, I got a taste for calamari.
03:57It's an ice cream truck.
03:59They don't have calamari.
04:01I don't care where you get it.
04:02All right, my little girls.
04:07I'll push.
04:11You want me to sing?
04:12Sing, silly Sally.
04:14Sing, silly Sally.
04:15All right.
04:17Silly Sally, what you do today?
04:20Silly Sally, what you do today?
04:24Did you comb your hair with a...
04:26Pineapple!
04:27Come here with a pineapple.
04:31Oh, boy.
04:33Oh, boy.
04:37Silly Sally.
04:39Hi, Hannah.
04:40Hi, Emily.
04:41Can we go play with them?
04:42Uh, yeah, okay.
04:45Just don't go too far away.
04:46I want to be able to see you.
04:47Oh, girls, you can go farther than that.
04:54What?
04:58I can't hear ya.
05:00Perfect!
05:04Hey, Jim.
05:05Hi.
05:06I'm Sandy, Hannah's mother.
05:07Oh.
05:08Yeah, and this is Leslie, Emily's mom.
05:10You met her at Chuck E. Cheese at the triplets party.
05:12Remember?
05:13Suki, Carrie, and Chloe.
05:14And this is Carol.
05:15She's Caitlin's mom.
05:16She's also got Linda and Kelly with her today.
05:19You know, Debbie's kids.
05:20You met at the other Hannah's mom's house?
05:23I'm not gonna be tested on this, am I?
05:27No.
05:28If you were mine, I'd never let you out of the house.
05:30Oh, I find a way.
05:42I bet these foot doctors make a lot of money.
05:47What a racket.
05:50My God.
05:51It's starting to sound like Jim.
05:55I wonder what's wrong with that guy's foot.
05:58Planner's word, I bet.
06:00I don't know.
06:05I wonder if these people think I have something wrong with my feet.
06:08Just kick my shoes off so they'll see that I'm normal.
06:13Oh, no.
06:14There's a hole in my sock.
06:16Abort!
06:17Abort!
06:28It was quick.
06:30What happened?
06:30He didn't even do the procedure.
06:33Right after he anesthetized my toe, he got called away on an emergency.
06:37Hey, check this out.
06:41See?
06:41Cold leg.
06:42What are you doing?
06:46Calling Jim.
06:47Tell him we're on the way home.
06:48Are you kidding?
06:49We have a whole afternoon.
06:51Oh, Dana, it's laundry day.
06:52Jim's down to his Christmas boxers.
06:56Come on.
06:56We need a break.
06:58We could go see a movie.
07:01A movie on laundry day?
07:05That's so naughty.
07:07Hey!
07:08Can we get popcorn?
07:09Oh, yeah.
07:09And no sharing?
07:11Oh, yeah.
07:12It's sticking without paying.
07:16Cheryl, we're gonna pay.
07:20Okay.
07:21But we're so bad, right?
07:23Oh, yeah.
07:24And that's why I'm no longer welcome in the state of Florida.
07:39Hey.
07:41Where are my girls?
07:42Oh, they're over by the slide with Penelope and Nancy and Bridget and Suzanne.
07:47Hey, girls, come on.
07:51Let's go.
07:52Time to go.
07:52Oh, not so soon.
07:55Oh, baby.
07:58Come on.
07:58The fun is over.
07:59I promise you I'll do some work around the house.
08:02But you work hard all week.
08:04Tell me about it.
08:05Well, you know, you should always work a little harder at home than you do on your job.
08:13You know who said that?
08:15Michael Landon.
08:20Hey, girls.
08:21Do we have to go, Daddy?
08:23Yes, we have to go.
08:24Come on, girls.
08:25Get your stuff together.
08:26Andy, you want to pick up and put together that buggy?
08:29We want to stay.
08:31Please?
08:31You want some cheese with that wine?
08:37Come on, girls.
08:38We got to go home.
08:39Why don't you let us take them for the afternoon?
08:41I mean, we can go to lunch and then the girls can play together.
08:44I don't know.
08:45This is supposed to be our day together.
08:47Oh, well, all right.
08:48Oh, I mean, what the heck?
08:49Oh.
08:50Yay!
08:52Well, I'll have them home by dinner.
08:53For July.
08:54Whatever.
08:54Oh, where did Cheryl find you?
09:01Oh, I don't know.
09:02The perfect store?
09:05Oh, this is so much fun.
09:07I know.
09:08Martin Lawrence in medieval times.
09:10How can you lose?
09:12I hope he's sassy in this one.
09:17Hey!
09:18What?
09:20That guy just stepped on your foot.
09:24Really?
09:25No.
09:27That's going to hurt later.
09:28Oh.
09:31What are you doing?
09:32I'm just going to check in with Jim real quick.
09:34Cheryl!
09:35Bad girls don't check in with their husbands.
09:39Yeah.
09:45Oh, man.
09:46Who brings a baby to a movie?
09:48You relax.
09:49I'll take care of it.
09:50Oh!
09:51Or you better do it.
09:58Excuse me.
09:59Like, would you please keep your baby quiet?
10:02Yeah, well, why don't you be quiet?
10:07Hi, Cheryl.
10:08What are you doing here?
10:21Where are the girls?
10:23They're at a friend's house.
10:25Sarah's.
10:28Cheryl, my hair is stuck to the floor.
10:30All right.
10:34One, two.
10:35Ah!
10:43Oh, hey, Jim.
10:45Hey, Dana, you got a little something right here.
10:50Up, up, up, up, up.
10:52You got it.
10:53You got it.
10:53You got it.
10:56What are you doing here?
10:58You're supposed to be at the doctor.
10:59Well, it got rescheduled, so we came here.
11:03Oh, well, you thought you got away with it, huh?
11:06Got away with what, Jim?
11:08I think I deserve a little free time every few months.
11:11Cheryl, you have six hours of free time every day.
11:16Just because you choose to use it sleepy, not my part.
11:22Wait a minute.
11:24The girls don't have a friend, Sarah.
11:27Sarah, there's a mom, Sarah, who has a daughter, Julia.
11:30Julia.
11:31Yeah, Julia.
11:33Oh, Jim.
11:34I don't like the girls playing with Julia.
11:36She's a spitter.
11:40And, you know, she talks back to her mom, and the girls do it to me.
11:43It takes me a week to break them of it.
11:45Hey, Cheryl.
11:46Hey.
11:47I just ran into Dana in the lobby.
11:49What is it about Martin Lawrence that brings families together?
11:56Dude, where's my car?
12:00What?
12:02I'm answering the trivia question.
12:05Jim, look, I'm sorry, but you gotta go get the girls.
12:09I won't be able to relax knowing they're at Julia's.
12:11All right, all right.
12:16But you owe me one.
12:17No, I don't.
12:18Well, somebody owes me one.
12:20Actually, you owe me five dollars for the popcorn.
12:23Benicio Del Toro!
12:25Come on, fire!
12:30All right, Cheryl, I'll do it.
12:32Just tell me where she lives.
12:34Oh, it's a little gray house on the corner of Pine and Oakhurst.
12:38Oh, thank you, honey.
12:40All right, baby.
12:42Devil and Mrs. Jones!
12:47Come on, Andy.
12:48Let's go pick up the girls.
12:49What about the movie?
12:51The previews are starting.
12:52Come on!
12:54In a future where women are forbidden to wear clothes and beer is money,
13:00one long car chase will change the lives of three supermodels and one tough cop.
13:08Steven Seagal is back!
13:14I am so there!
13:18Damn beautiful, baby.
13:26Silly, sally, what am I singing this song for?
13:32Some popcorn.
13:34Eh, it's a little dry.
13:35Okay.
13:38Thirsty.
13:39Me too.
13:40Boom.
13:42Come on.
13:55And some?
13:57Yeah, sure.
14:00Oh, I'm sorry.
14:01Hey, you want to do it?
14:06Come on.
14:07I'll give you.
14:09I'm so sorry.
14:10You're a jerk.
14:11Oh, I'm a jerk.
14:12Oh, hey, come on!
14:13What is that?
14:14You can't turn my baby like that, a jerk!
14:17Hey!
14:18Hi!
14:19Hi!
14:21I'm your Sarah.
14:23I know that.
14:24I'm Jim.
14:24Uh, and this is water.
14:29We were a little thirsty.
14:30Uh, Ruby and Gracie are my kids.
14:33I'm Andy, the uncle.
14:36We're here to pick them up.
14:37Yeah, um...
14:38They're not here.
14:43Where are they?
14:45How should I know?
14:46I'm going to close the door now.
15:00You don't know where your kids are.
15:10Jim, maybe you should just call up Cheryl and tell her you lost the girls.
15:14After 26 hours of labor and two episiotomies, I don't think so.
15:21What are we going to do now, huh?
15:22What are we going to do?
15:25Hey, Cheryl's got to have an address book, right?
15:27Look in that.
15:28Yeah, now she always carries it with her.
15:32Ruby's got an address book.
15:34She's always writing in it.
15:36All we need is one little girl's name.
15:38We can find her.
15:39Look around here somewhere.
15:42A mess.
15:43Hello, hello, hello.
15:48Mommy, Daddy, Barney, Elmo.
15:56Oh, here we go.
15:57Emily.
15:57Great, great, great, great.
15:59Give me the number.
16:01555-0174.
16:05Great.
16:07386-5511-W.
16:12Then she drew a kitty.
16:19My daughter's an idiot.
16:22Jim, think, think.
16:23Can you remember anything that woman said?
16:25All I remember is, yammer, yammer, yammer, I'll take the kids.
16:31Maybe we should go back to the park.
16:33Let's go to the park.
16:34Maybe someone's still there.
16:35Oh, God, I hope it's, what's her name?
16:42Yellow.
16:43Hey.
16:45How is everything?
16:47Okay.
16:49Cheryl.
16:51Everything's fine.
16:53Cheryl.
16:54Cheryl.
16:54Cheryl.
16:54Cheryl.
16:54Cheryl.
16:54Cheryl.
16:56Hey, I just wanted to find out if the girls had a good time.
17:02Are you checking up on me?
17:05Well, maybe a little.
17:07The girls are fine.
17:09They're playing with Uncle Andy.
17:14Please stop copying me.
17:16Please stop copying me.
17:17I mean it.
17:18I mean it.
17:19I'm telling you.
17:20I'm telling you.
17:20I want to get you.
17:21So fun.
17:26What?
17:27What?
17:29He just said the king's daughter's a freak.
17:33Black Knight is so busted.
17:36I'm going to go.
17:38I'm going to tickle you.
17:39I'm going to tickle you.
17:41Oh, you tickled me.
17:43Oh, my God.
17:44Oh, that's it.
17:47You're so much cooler than Andy.
17:49You're going to Harry Potter.
17:56Are you done?
18:00Are you sure?
18:11Are you sure?
18:13Are you sure?
18:14Hey, Jim, I just thought of something.
18:24What?
18:24What if while we're here, that woman's dropping the kids off at the house?
18:27Don't worry about it.
18:28I left the note.
18:29No one home.
18:30Leave kids in the backyard.
18:34Now, there.
18:36She looks familiar.
18:38She's short.
18:41Hi.
18:43Hey.
18:44Well, aren't you a pretty little girl?
18:47Can I ask you a question?
18:53I don't think she's going to talk.
18:56I bet she would for some candy.
19:09We should run.
19:10What time is it?
19:15It's 5.32.
19:17Do you know where your children are?
19:21Andy, that is not funny.
19:23Yeah, I know.
19:27I can't believe that woman hasn't brought those kids home.
19:31She's so irresponsible.
19:32Well, I hope that's the kids.
19:38Nope.
19:39Nope.
19:39That's Cheryl.
19:40Okay.
19:42All right.
19:42Just remember the plan.
19:43We didn't have a plan.
19:45Right.
19:46Act casual.
19:47What are you guys doing?
20:04Just, you know, casually reading.
20:09Well, he's reading.
20:10He's reading to me.
20:15I think that's good for today.
20:17Yeah, we can pick up tomorrow, huh?
20:22So, Cheryl, how was your day off?
20:24Oh, honey, it was great.
20:26Thank you so much.
20:27That was just the best gift you could have given me.
20:29No, you won't.
20:30Hey, the feeling of my foot's coming back.
20:33Ow!
20:36Girls, mom!
20:38No, Cheryl!
20:40The girls are being punished.
20:43You were so right about that, Julia.
20:45She is a bad one.
20:48You know what the girls called me when they came home?
20:54Fatty poopy pants.
20:56Then they broke the lamp.
21:03See?
21:04This is exactly what I was afraid of.
21:06I'm gonna go talk to them right now.
21:08Okay, you go on up there,
21:10but you're just gonna undermine all my good work,
21:13and I am not gonna take responsibility
21:15when they grow up and become strippers.
21:20Hey, I got a better idea.
21:22Why don't you two girls continue your relaxing day
21:25at a nice dinner on by?
21:30What, you're paying for my dinner?
21:33Yeah.
21:34I love you.
21:35Oh!
21:38Oh, my God.
21:40What have you done?
21:44Where are my kids?
21:48Cheryl, I resent that.
21:51They're not just your kids.
21:53They're my kids, too.
21:54Well, I...
21:55And I don't know where they are.
21:59What are you saying?
22:00Have you lost my kids?
22:03Oh, of course not.
22:04They are being cared for by a responsible adult,
22:08a friend of yours.
22:10Oh, okay.
22:10I just don't know her name or where she lives.
22:14But what we've been able to determine
22:16is that she's not Asian.
22:18Right.
22:18Oh, I can't believe you don't know where they are.
22:24I bet if they were a box of snack cakes,
22:26he'd know exactly where they are.
22:29What are you doing?
22:30I'm gonna call and call until I find them.
22:33Mommy!
22:35Cheryl, good work.
22:37Oh, hello.
22:41I am so glad to see you.
22:43Oh, Sandy.
22:46I hope the girls had fun playing with Hannah.
22:51Sandy and Hannah.
22:56That's a ring of bell.
22:57Come here, my girls.
23:03Thanks, Daddy.
23:04We had the bestest time ever.
23:06We have fun, don't we?
23:09Girls, why don't you run up and wash up for dinner?
23:11Oh, come on.
23:12I'll take you.
23:13All right, so, Jim, they're gonna be with me,
23:15your sister-in-law, Dana.
23:21Upstairs.
23:23Oh, Grayson's jacket's in the car.
23:26I'll get it.
23:26Oh, thank you.
23:28Thanks so much, Sandy.
23:34What?
23:35What?
23:37Why don't you look at me like that?
23:40Come on, don't be upset with me.
23:42I had a very rough day.
23:45You know that Silly Sally song?
23:48Twelve verses I had a sick.
23:50Okay.
23:51So, so, the one day I take off in six months,
23:55and, and, and you lose the girls?
23:59If you say it like that, of course it's gonna sound bad.
24:04What?
24:05Honey, you know me.
24:06I do.
24:07You know how hard it is for me to take time off.
24:10I mean, I, I suppose that, that I'll,
24:12I can just never leave the kids with you again.
24:14Is that what you want?
24:15Well, Cheryl, that'd be your call.
24:19No, no, no, Jim.
24:21What?
24:21You are not getting off that easy.
24:23No, no, no.
24:24I am going to go to a movie again,
24:26and you are gonna take care of the kids again.
24:29And if you have to lose them five or six more times to get it right,
24:33so be it.
24:33I can do that.
24:40Here you go.
24:41Oh, oh, thank you so much.
24:45Hey, do you want a cup of coffee?
24:46Oh, I'd love one.
24:47Oh, great.
24:47Oh, did you hear what happened at the park today?
24:49No.
24:50Two strange men were offering candy to a little girl.
24:54No.
24:54Yes.
24:56Yes, but don't worry,
24:57because the parents got a pretty good description of the vehicle.
25:00I should probably sell my car.
25:18Yep.
25:18No.
25:18No.
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