- 2 days ago
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00:00how was work long what are you doing putting out readers in my shoes
00:17watch out for that table lamp
00:24okay that was so good that at one point i actually thought you were mad at me
00:37one very very good point that was when i lost my filling my knees have never done that so sorry
00:46but thank you you're welcome so let's talk about your marriage proposal
00:54on my to-do list for a few days now did i ask you to marry me
01:01well i love you and you love me too otherwise you wouldn't have asked right right the thing is
01:10we've never actually been a couple and usually you're a couple before you get married so i'm
01:14just wondering how we do with that we do great you just ask that lamp we broke
01:19because we're our neighbors but i mean besides our sex life yeah okay i mean i i guess you're right
01:27i mean the truth is the longest relationship i've ever had was i didn't tell that girl we broke up
01:35i'm just wondering how we'd be around our friends you know what side of the bed we'd sleep on whose
01:40voice will be on the answering machine whatever you want to do is fun see i know how to be a good
01:45boyfriend that's what being together is about we're supposed to argue and then give in and then
01:50resent each other didn't you say something about which friends we were going to hang out with let's
01:55do that first anything that involves drinking i want a beer i'm down with that
02:01you're filling
02:14this is exciting our first real double date what have you two been doing since you officially hooked up
02:24you guys are dirty just know it
02:26well why don't zach and i get us another round of drinks you two look like you need some girl talk
02:48oh my god from the look on your face i would say you two are really enjoying yourself
02:54i knocked out his filling i knocked off nick's adult faces us chase sisters will rough you up
03:02i know and it's so exciting we get to do all this fun couple stuff together
03:06look at them they're really bonding oh no i i'd never go surfing the ocean is crawling
03:11with bacteria it's the final resting place of all human waste yeah i go surfing almost every
03:16morning i haven't gotten sick once oh you will zach and it's likely to be an antibiotic resistant
03:20bacteria and then that'll be all she wrote this is great just frankly i was worried about how all
03:28this was gonna go what are you worried about you two are adorable oh before i forget how much weight
03:34have you gained before i gained for your baby shower guess how much weight billy gained
03:39i was thinking okay first can we not play that game and second can we make it a co-ed shower because
03:47i want zach to be there and what's the point of having 30 of my girlfriends over if i can't parade
03:50around my hot boy toy okay i like that co-ed shower it's hip it's young it's modern all things which make me
04:00anxious there's just one thing that i would like in return even though you guys have decided to wait
04:07until it's born which i respect i have to know the sex of the baby and i would like for you to make it
04:14be a girl so what are you into nick well i'm an engineer so as a hobby i'm constructing a miniature
04:21amusement park made out of matchsticks and wire and then subjecting it to mock earthquakes to test for
04:26structural integrity what can i say i'm an adrenaline junkie davis uh over here yeah hello
04:34one and all this is kaylee kaylee this is everyone hey guys we were here before and i left my credit
04:41card so be right back okay that's right people my new girlfriend has a credit card girlfriend credit
04:50card when did this happen well you two were shacked up grossing out your baby yeah i stumbled upon a new
04:58method to pick up chicks yes do i owe you money or something no it's just you look exactly like my
05:12favorite musician of all time dave girl from food fighters oh my god i would do anything to meet him
05:17anything yeah anything anything anything i think so well this just happens to be your lucky day
05:31because i am dave growl's younger brother davis growl
05:36you dug that's awesome if your new method is lying to chicks in bars i hate to tell you but
05:47every man in history has beat you to it i can't be anything without you
05:54so that was a successful first night out huh seemed like you and nick were really getting along did it
06:10because any cool fun activity i mentioned he told me 60 ways it could give me ball cancer
06:15well that proves he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you or your balls i can't take him okay
06:26it's like it's like talking to a warning label he wants to get a dog that can sniff out tumors
06:33well he's my brother-in-law and he's part of my family and the sooner you get to know him the better
06:38okay i'll keep trying with the guy thank you and he really is a great guy did he tell you how he
06:44thinks swine flu is mostly spread through the take a penny leave a penny trays
06:53you know i was the one who came up with the name for the foo fighters
06:58yeah we're all hanging out jamming smoking weed and drinking beers wow but weren't you like seven
07:08baby i grew up around all that hey davis oh hi i just stopped off to get that list of zach's
07:19friends to invite to the baby shower oh yeah listen my brother dave grohl may not be able to make it
07:29oh well tell dave grohl i need my salad spinner back
07:39i am so bummed i know well all right i'm gonna step by my place and get a fresh pair of underwear before
07:46work you must work at a fancy place oh here's a list of all the food we need how much of a discount can
07:58you get well if the right manager is working 100 percent hey thanks for not blowing my dave
08:05girl act with kaylee oh please i love deception
08:10like how i pretend i'm foreign when a tourist asks me for directions
08:13master
08:27hey i was surf was it gnarly flicky spikoli
08:33i don't know what i'm talking about it was transformative you know i've spent my whole
08:39life afraid of the ocean but i actually got up on my board for 10 seconds before i ate it
08:45next time we're gonna try it in the water
08:49i loved riding in your van you know i felt like a trucker you know out on the open road all hopped up
08:53on pills maybe next time i could take the wheel yeah it's a stick shift though so oh cool then you can
09:00take me to the mall parking lot and teach me
09:06that was brutal he refused to even pee in the ocean lord a gas station lord a supermarket i had
09:14to take him to a hospital which hospital he's very picky about that yes i know it had to be one on his
09:22plan to use the bathroom well he figured while he was there he would get a throat culture
09:30look if i have to go surfing with nick again there's a slight chance i might drown him
09:37in sand if necessary keep trying please i'll do that thing you love the dishes
09:46yeah and then we'll have sex
09:52oh it's so much better to get that salt water off my face i thought he didn't go in the water it's from
10:01the crying
10:06well yesterday was a hit our guys mixing it up surfing some male bonding a trip to the hospital
10:13oh nick felt like he found a friend for life for life really wasn't zach jazzed as well tell me
10:21everything he said well you know it's a process i mean it's hard for an experienced surfer to go with
10:26someone who won't go near the water and still insists on wearing floaties
10:33what did he say tell me exactly what he said nothing there's nothing to work about i mean if a
10:38relationship starts at 10 it has nowhere to go right well where did zach think it started it three
10:46three abby you know how nick can be you mean loving and a good lover did you explain that to zach
10:54no how in the world would that have come up so you didn't defend him at all he is a quirky fellow abby
11:01you mean like zach doesn't have a checking account quirky no like he has to use gloves to pick out
11:07melons at the supermarket quirky those melons are from south america
11:13you know what if zach doesn't like my husband then i don't like zach and i don't like throwing
11:18baby showers for people that i don't like so if i were you i would dip into my 401k and buy my own damn
11:23stroller thank you so much for the sandwich and the blue cheese stuffed olives i'm so pissed off
11:41at my sister right now even the baby's making a fist what did abby do she blamed you for not getting
11:50along with nick and how did she know i didn't get along with nick she was very perceptive in
11:59understanding the words that came out of my mouth well now i feel like crap we're trying to see how we
12:05do as a couple in the world and i screwed things up it's not you you're adorable everybody has trouble
12:10with nick except doctors and pharmacists those are his peeps james when we were going out you had a
12:17hard time getting along with nick right yeah at first but that worked out a system hey buddy what
12:24exciting hijinks have you been up to well i was hanging out with this friend of mine who just got
12:29back from the congo didn't get any of his shots and now his eyes are bleeding a little anyway i was with
12:39them all day yesterday well that proves that nick is universally annoying yeah it's a close call
12:48between nick paper cuts and elevator music and there's lots of other people to hang out with tons like
12:56davis and gailey oh billy i don't believe you've ever had dinner at shea davis
13:02where you sit on the floor and eat off the pepper plate
13:10ah the timer that means the bread is gently warmed assuming i didn't forget to put it in the oven
13:19let's get to the bottom of this you're gigantic
13:23do you ever wear a tube top around just for fun
13:35kaylee what do you do for a living well once i meet dave growl i'm gonna design t-shirts for him
13:42because i'm gonna learn how to do that
13:46lots of people are gonna see them and buy them and i'm gonna make a million dollars
13:50you really went all out for this dinner party and it seems like those two are getting along which
13:57is good because billy's all into how we blah blah blah as a couple
14:01i know man kaylee's the best i mean i could really see myself being with her for as long
14:05as i can keep making her believe i'm dave growl's brother
14:11kaylee i just need to ask you something because davis is my friend and i think he really likes you
14:15do you like anything else about him besides the whole david growl thing he's a really nice guy
14:23and he's got dark hair and a beard and he plays guitar and millions of women love him
14:31no that's dave growl oh yeah then not really
14:37did this fact ever occur to you that davis's name is davis and dave growl's name is david
14:52this is so great hearing all these growl family stories
15:00does that sound real to you does that sound like something that would happen to a real person
15:07so what are you two talking about she's saying that you're not really dave growl's brother
15:17what did you do
15:23well you blew that evening what do you want from me i'm a pregnant woman sitting on the floor eating
15:30burnt toast helping your friend scam a future stalker of dave growl
15:33well we're kind of running out of couples i know it should have been like shooting fish in a barrel
15:40we struck out with people predisposed to like us yeah the worst part is sitting on that cushion
15:45aggravating my sciatica i don't think i can have sex tonight that's okay i was gonna ask you for a
15:51night off anyway because my tooth is killing me so saturday i thought we could go to the zoo and then
15:59that afternoon have tea with your mother and then that night stay in the house and figure out what
16:03to do with all these damn napkins i ordered for the baby shower honey why don't you just go to her
16:09that would be admitting that you're weird come on abby and how would you describe all my crazy obsessive
16:14stuff you know don't you find it peculiar that i smell my chapstick before i put it on
16:19but i count my teeth every night you know they get a little panicky when it snows
16:24or when it rains or when it's really sunny
16:28no i find all those things adorable i think it's great that you defended me but
16:34no let's be honest i'm i'm an acquired taste like hearing or the music of david hasselhoff
16:41that would come around are you just saying this because i can't get a refund on these napkins
16:47partially mostly i'm saying this because i love you and billy's your sister and zach is the father
16:54of my nephew or niece you mean niece i love you thank god
17:03happy what are you doing here oh my god who cares so sorry me too you're on my foot
17:19and you're pregnant oh sorry look i'm anxious about me and zach and what it all means and i took that
17:28out on you and nick well it wasn't all you nick is weird no don't say that i love nick thank you
17:37but that doesn't change the fact that nick is weird and it turns me on can i ask your honest opinion
17:46do you think what zach and i are trying to do is ever i mean how do ashen and demi do it how do
17:53they find people to hang out with well it helps that they're both beautiful millionaires but they
17:59never really know who their true friends are although if demi called me right now i would dump you in a
18:04second you think zach and i can make this work i have believed in you and zach from the start and even
18:14then i knew it would be difficult but i still think it's meant to be and nothing can talk me out of them
18:23thank you for coming over and saying that why are we in the hallway oh oh yeah i know i told you i
18:32canceled your shower but surprise oh thanks for the gift next time you want to be a relative of a fake
18:45celebrity in order to get into a girl's pants i'll be prepared ahead of time i don't know these opportunities
18:50don't come up very often i don't look like that many guys well that's not true you could be related
18:57to joaquin phoenix at this point i'd even buy you as a younger skinnier hairier baldwin
19:03okay here's your gift oh our baby's first foo fighters boxed set
19:15with your face photoshopped on the cover thank you
19:23hey isn't this great look at all these people you got my friends and your friends
19:27oh no i think maybe we worried for nothing yeah i even bonded with nick told him about how james
19:34had been screwing with him really i had no idea riding my motorcycle would make my prostate swell
19:40to the size of a peach it's just your prostate don't get me started on your testicles why what could
19:48happen to my testicles
19:58and to show our appreciation of this beautiful baby shower i have a special present for you oh my god
20:06is this the top secret sex of the baby envelope yes you can take a peek but you have to do it in the
20:12bedroom because i think your face will give away the sex of the baby and i don't even want there to be
20:15a chance that we'll figure it out yay no no i feel like a real trucker
20:40so that freeway overpass i designed it pretty impressive some great graffiti oh yeah i know i go
20:48up twice a week and try to wash it off but they're very persistent and once i got shot at that was
20:53exciting did you get to go to the hospital yes i did and there was no copay because it was an emergency
21:00room visit
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