- hace 7 semanas
Blackadder relishes his new position as the Queen's head executioner, until a change to the execution schedule leads to catastrophic results when prisoner Lord Farrow's wife wishes to visit him and the Queen decides to pardon him, despite his having been executed two days earlier.
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00:00.
00:30right morning let's try again shall we this is called adding if I have two beans and then I add
00:46two more beans what do I have some beans yes and no let's try again shall we have two beans
00:56then I add two more beans what does that make a very small casserole Baldrick the ape creatures of the
01:05Indus have mastered this one two three four so how many are there three what and that one three and that
01:18one so if I add that one to the three what will I have oh some beans yes do you Baldrick
01:26the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people wasn't it Edmund come quickly the
01:32Queen wants to see you I said Edmund Edmund come quickly the Queen what are you wearing around
01:38your neck ah it's my new ruff you look like a bird who swallowed a plate it's the latest fashion
01:45actually and as a matter of fact it makes me look rather sexy to another plate swallowing bird if it
01:51was blind and hadn't had it in months I think you may be wrong you're a sad laughable figure aren't
01:58you Percy what do you think of Percy's rough Baldrick for what some beans and some beans is for now no
02:05we've moved on from advanced mathematics one to elementary dressmaking what do you think of
02:09Percy's rough I think he looks like a bird who swallowed a plate my lord no that's what I think what do you
02:16think try to have a thought of your own Baldrick thinking is so important what do you think I think
02:22thinking is so important my lord I'm off to see the Queen oh shall I come to my lord no best not people
02:29might think we're friends stay here with Baldrick bird neck and bird brain should get on like a house on fire
02:35grey I suspect majesty I think you'll find it with orange Lord Melchert grey is more usual man
02:45who's Queen there were these magnificent orange elephants
02:52my lady do you wish to see me yes Edmund Lord Melchert has bad news Lord Melchert is bad news
03:01no be serious Melchert unhappily Blackadder the Lord High executioner is dead oh whoa murdered of
03:15course oddly enough no they usually are but this one just got careless one night and signed his name on
03:20the wrong dotted line they came for him while he slept he should have told them they had the wrong
03:25man he did but you see they didn't they had the right man and they had the form to prove it bloody
03:30red tape eh and the bad news the bad news is that actually there are simply hundreds of Catholics who
03:37desperately want their head sneaked off and there's no one to organize it well I pity the poor sod who gets
03:43the job no one ever survives it more than a week I have taken the liberty ma'am of drawing up a list of
03:48suitable candidates list for the post of Lord High executioner Lord Blackadder
03:59right then let's take a look shall we who's first into the head basket then
04:11Admiral Lord Effingham and Sir Francis Drake on Monday that should draw a crowd hmm no sailing
04:20enthusiasts oh yeah better make sure there's a few anchors and things on the souvenir store
04:26aye aye sir never ever try to be funny in my presence again Percy right Buckingham and Ponsonby on Friday
04:37wait a minute Farrow on Wednesday who's Farrow when he's not having his head cut off James Farrow
04:43pleasant bloke from Dorchester don't know him never will either yes and he goes on Wednesday
04:50hmm it's not right though is it well no I mean now you come to mention it my Lord there was absolutely
04:56no evidence against young Farrow at all it was an outrageous travesty of justice now it's not right
05:01he should be on Wednesday when we could stick him in on Monday and have half the week off yes
05:08pop him in on Monday right good five dead in two days not a bad start oh yes Percy and the new rough
05:15better worse fashion today is towards the tiny well in that case Percy you have the most fashionable brain
05:22in London right good morning team my name is Edmund Blackadder and I'm the new minister in charge of
05:30religious genocide if you play straight with me you'll find me a considerate employer but cross me
05:37and you'll soon discover that under this playful boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless sadistic
05:44maniac maniac now my man you are jailer sir my lord good well done and your name is ploppy sir
05:51yes sir ploppy the jailer that's right sir ploppy son of ploppy ploppy son of ploppy the jailer
06:02oh no sir I am the first ploppy to rise to be jailer my father daddy ploppy was known as ploppy the
06:10sloper it was from him that I inherited my fascinating skin diseases yes you are to be
06:17you are to be congratulated my friend we we live in an age where illness and deformity are commonplace
06:23and yet ploppy you are without a doubt the most repulsive individual I would shake your hand but I
06:30fear it would come off there's no many bosses would be that considerate sir thank you ploppy I do my best
06:38now then woman if indeed you are a woman what is your function on death row I'm the last meal cook
06:46sir the prisoners may ask me for what they fancy for their last meal and you cook for them what they
06:52desire oh yes sir provided they ask for sausages otherwise they tend to get a tiny bit disappointed
07:00sausage is all I got you are clearly a woman of principle and compassion mistress ploppy sir
07:06you are married to no many people think that but it's pure coincidence we did laugh when first we
07:15found out good morning mistress ploppy he'd say and I'd say good morning mr. ploppy
07:23the long winter evenings must just fly ah and you must be the boy who makes the tea no he's the executioner
07:37but he does sometimes make the tea yes and your name is Aldrich my lord but I'll change it to ploppy if
07:44you'll make things easy no thank you I can cope with more than one name what are you doing here
07:49what it's a hobby more fun sir if he were to change his name give the place a more family
07:57atmosphere a family atmosphere this is meant to be a place of pain and misery and sorrow that's what
08:02I mean sir mistress ploppy is a bit of a social realist sir now then we're going to run a fast
08:10efficient operation and I intend to do as little work as possible my deputy Percy Pierre will explain
08:15good afternoon staff my name is Lord Percy and if you played there by me you will find me a
08:28considerate employer but if you cross me by Jove just tell him the plan duck face I'm not in front of the
08:36staff get on with it right stuff as you know we are scheduled to execute Drake and Effingham on
08:44Monday Lord Farrow on Wednesday and Buckingham and Ponce a bit on Friday but in order to give us the
08:50middle of the week off Lord Blackadder has decided to move Farrow to Monday let's just say he's got
08:56time off for good behavior your majesty my husband dies tomorrow I beseech you even if you cannot save
09:11his life which I don't think either of us would want seeing as how he's a horrible traitor but if he
09:18must I may I see him but of course what's she asking me for why doesn't she just go along to the
09:27execution with everyone else no majesty I don't believe she wants to see him die I believe she
09:34wants to see him before he died she's not seen him I wouldn't marry someone I had never seen
09:42you I think married a bit more seriously next time come now lady Farrow crying isn't going to help your
09:52husband now no ointment that's what you need when your head's been cut off your sister Mary when
10:00they done her there there I said you'll soon grow a new one of course you may see your husband my dear
10:09and it's a horrid old Edmund tries to stop you get him yes it's a warrant for his own execution oh
10:17thank you mom may flights of angels sing you to your rest yes I'm sure they will
10:24so they're all dead are they yep all three Drake Effingham Farrow splendid any interesting last words
10:42well Farrow was rather moving my lord a great strong man he stood there gaunt and noble in the early
10:48morning mist and in a loud clear voice he cried out my wife might have bloody well turned up she's
10:55probably shacked up with some new pair of tights already well unless Lord Percy has anything to
11:01either you lot can amuse yourselves and whatever foul depraved way you feel fit till Friday thank you
11:07sir first off I've got a few notes on today's show on the whole I was impressed they've gone
11:14Percy my lord there is a lady outside to see you oh she pretty I don't know what do you think I don't
11:25know do I haven't seen it yet make yourself scarce will it oh good evening Lord Blackadder well it
11:36certainly is now perhaps you'd like to slip into something more comfortable no my lord for there
11:43is a great pain in my heart it's probably indigestion I'll see it is my husband your
11:50husband's got indigestion well he won't be bothering us then no he dies tomorrow oh come
11:56you can't dive into just and you're over dramatic he is to be executed at your order I am lady Farrow
12:03ah and what exactly did you want of me I wish to see my husband tonight not really possible
12:12that Farrow bloke you executed today you sure he's dead what chopped his head off that usually does the
12:22trick I'm so sorry I've just been consulting my legal people and I'm afraid there really is no chance of a
12:36meeting but the Queen told me it would be allowed really yes and that if you said no I should give
12:42you this absolutely why not is that all clear yes I've killed someone I shouldn't have killed and now
12:59you want me to put a lady on my head and talk to his old bag no I want you to put a bag on your head
13:03and talk to his old lady why do I want a bag on my head in order nincompoop that she should believe
13:10that you're her husband what did he used to wear a bag on his head young young floppy here has a
13:17point my lord lord Farrow never wore a bag he was an old-fashioned sort of a gentleman well yes my lord
13:25I mean I hadn't meant to mention it but I have been wondering all along why you should think that
13:30Baldrick with a bag on his head he's going to be a dead ringer for Lord Farrow because he's not
13:35look cretins the bag is there in order to obscure Baldrick's own features and many might think
13:41incidentally that that would be reason enough for him to wear before I bring in Lady Farrow I shall
13:46explain to her inventing some cunningly plausible excuse that her husband has taken to wearing a bag
13:53she can then chat to Baldrick imagining him to be the man she married and the Queen need never know of
13:58my little miscalculation why my lord that is a brilliant plan foolproof you're very kind although
14:04there is something lurking at the back of my head that bothers me probably a flea lady Farrow
14:11awaits your pleasure all right okay
14:13ah lady Farrow what a real pleasure it is to see you again it is my beloved that I shall be pleased to see
14:23well quite quite though I should warn you that he uh he will not be quite as you knew him
14:29you fiend what have you done to him we have put a bag over it
14:35why well the thing is you see none of the other prisoners have such shapely widows their wives and
14:43therefore in the interests of the morale of the condemned community your husband has nobly agreed to
14:47wear a bag it was either that or have all the other prisoners in there with you how like him
14:53to make such a gesture yes yes well I'll just go check he's bagged up what is it now property I have
15:06located my nagging doubt it's a small point but I do now recall that Lord Farrow was considerably taller
15:15more than a yard taller than young poppy if you want something that properly you've got to do it
15:24yourself haven't you anything else I should know oh yes he had a very deep voice big deep booming voice
15:31so quite like mine no my lord a big deep booming voice oh mine's quite deep not like it and in fact
15:38Lord Farrow was taller even than you my lord oh giant yes all right all right don't rub it in Percy you
15:45better go and have another word with her go on go on um sorry about the delay madam as you know you
15:59are about to meet your husband whom you will recognize on account of the fact that he has got a bag over his
16:06head oh I would know my darling anywhere oh yes there are a couple of other things I am prepared for
16:12the fact that he may have lost some weight yes and some height that's the interesting thing uh you
16:21probably hardly recognize him at all actually you will be telling me his arms grown back next
16:27excuse just for a sec
16:31you've only got one arm oh well I'll just have to stick it inside the shirt which one which one
16:43um um how do we know you're his wife what uh well you know you could be a a gloater and I pardon you
16:56know a gloater come to gloat over the condemned man I mean we're up to our ears in gloaters here
17:03can I come in for a gloat they shout oh you heartless gloaters tell you what I'll believe
17:15you're not a gloater if you tell me which arm he hasn't got his left of course now let me see my
17:23husband right it's the left good luck gloaters you really are pratt aren't you right now don't
17:32forget in two minutes you interrupt me all right and no more than two minutes otherwise I'm in real
17:35trouble and don't forget because because we're not at home to mr. cock up correct
17:42remember the voice yes yes yes yes yes enter
17:54james my darling how are you oh fine fine food's not bad apart from the sausages your voice is
18:03somehow different oh how somehow lighter not as deep nor booming as once it was
18:11is that better oh my darling oh call me by that name you always called me to show your love is
18:21still strong uh yes uh look uh do you think that this is quite the time and the place uh for that
18:27please um this is the specific secret little name that I always used to call you you want to
18:34be called it again is that right yes the one the one like your little pumpkin the one like your little
18:42pumpkin but not actually your little pumpkin no uh right then my little pump can you want to
18:50me oh yes well well I got into a scrap here with a fellow who called you a nosy little strumpeter
19:07who's always going blubbing to the queen and we got into a fight and he cut off the top half
19:12oh alas uh uh yes god well I i think you'd better be going uh lord blackadder said he was going to be
19:19sending in his servant baldrick to collect me here perhaps my lord he is leaving us for a little
19:25long oh no no no no I shouldn't think it's a bald wreck it's usually very much perhaps this baldrick is
19:31doing it out of kind oh no it's a very unkind person well then let us leap on the moment that we
19:38have been given and use it to its full what let me do this last thing for you what wife could do more
19:44what oh that's it time's up no it isn't yes it is
19:50oh you bust that was the first time ever in my whole life i've been on this paltry boring
20:12planet for 30 years that's the first time anyone has ever but do not despair my lord
20:18your brother petitions the queen tomorrow morning there may still be hope what
20:28shall i prepare the guest room for mr cock up my lord
20:33oh yes all right then let him off he probably is innocent anyway my lady may the heavens rain down
20:40radiant jewels and sweet meats upon you yes yes yes yes and may cherubim and seraphim
20:47lord blackadder
20:50my lady about lord furrow i've let him off no no no no you can't he he's a complete cad of the first
20:56water can't is not a word for princes lord blackadder how very true majesty anyway i won't be argued with
21:04will i mercy well sometimes my darling when he wants something very naughty now you won't be arguing with
21:09absolutely not precisely so lord blackadder i want to see lord farrow here in one hour
21:15meanwhile i shall spend the time visiting my old friend lord ponsonby who i believe i'm having killed on friday
21:23let's see if there are any good heads in traitor's cloister on the way
21:29percy this is a very difficult situation yes my lord someone's for the chop you or me in fact
21:43yes let's face facts purse it's you
21:50except except i may have a plan oh yes yes uh uh how about if we get lord pharaoh's head and body
21:58and we take it to the queen except except just before we get in we start shouting and screaming
22:05and then we come in saying we were just on our way when he said something traitorous and so we cut
22:10his head off in the corridor to teach him a lesson absolutely pathetic contemptible
22:17worth a try where do we put the head it's on a spike in traitor's cloister oh god well that's where the
22:22queen's gone did she know pharaoh oh yes they were childhood friends well if she sees his head on a
22:28spike she'll she'll realize he's dead you fix the body i'll cover the head
22:38hello edmund look i'm sorry i snatched you just now oh you know i'm really very keen on
22:46you indeed don't you oh yes ma'am as you were keen on essex exactly right up to the point at which
22:51you had his head cut off he didn't buy that he knew it was only a little b and i think his head did
22:58look jolly super on its spike have you no heads on spikes today um no no we're training up a new
23:10executioner and he's a little immature takes him forever slash slash slash by the time he's finished you
23:14don't so much need a spike as a toast rack
23:20still must be off to say bye bye to ponsonby would you care to stroll with me a while just
23:26if you've got time if you're not too busy no sorry ma'am affairs of office you care to
23:31stroll with me a while just if you've got time if you're not too busy
23:34yes it would make the decade worthwhile
23:40and in genoa it is now the fashion to pin a live frog to the shoulder braid stand on a bucket and go
23:46bibble at passing oh our italian cousins well if you'll excuse me ma'am i've got some business to
23:53attend to certainly but first evan take my hand tell me you forgive my former sharpness
24:15oh
24:27well i've got the body my lord and i see you've got the head yes but look it's no good person no one's
24:32ever gonna believe we've just cut it off it's gone green
24:34we're doomed doomed oh wait a moment that's not pharaoh isn't it no that's ponsonby my god ponsonby
24:46that genius ball rick has killed the wrong bloke we're saved saved the pharaoh is alive and
24:51was saved hooray and when the queen gets back from seeing ponsonby will oh god
25:05it's not very nice here is it oh it's not meant to be my pikelet this is where all the horrid people
25:10who don't like you live i suppose so it's a bit smelly too isn't it yeah well of course i'm used to
25:18that in the mornings when you were a little baby shut up you no not you you're too repulsive you
25:25yes your majestic highness bring in lord ponsonby yes your majestic thing
25:32so strange ponsonby turned out to be a traitor you would have thought that he'd have had problems
25:37enough what with that hunch only having one leg yes and that terrible speech problem
25:44you
25:47majesty lord ponsonby
25:55showing about your bag didn't have time to size
25:59his great bank arbor was a king although for only 30 seconds when put in charge be heading
26:09he felt that fame and glory beckoned black adder black adder
26:17no such blooming luck black adder black adder
26:23ill is a bee and schmuck black adder black adder nothing goes as planned
26:33black adder black adder black adder 추lves him up on hand
26:47bye
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