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00:15Good price, price it. Mind my trouble, I'm a married man.
00:40Frank, what are you doing? Yoga. It's supposed to make you relax. Will you please stop it, you'll
00:49do yourself an injury. I told you yesterday I might be trying out some new positions.
00:55Well, I wasn't quite sure what you meant. Now, what's wrong? Nothing. I've just been worried
01:05about my last job. I missed that fire engine. I know, you always missed it, that's why they
01:11sacked you. What's wrong? Nothing. You haven't damaged yourself, have you? No.
01:23It's just that I haven't felt up to it lately. Well, when do you think you will then? I don't
01:29know. I've had a lot of worry, Betty. It's bound to affect our relationship. It's very difficult
01:36to have any kind of relationship if I'm in bed and you're on the floor. I know. I've
01:43been a bad husband. Oh, no, you haven't, Frank. And a bad son-in-law. Your mother's never like
01:51me. Oh, but she will. Our marriage was a great shock to her. You know, she wanted me
01:58to marry somebody else. Who? Well, no one in particular, just somebody else.
02:07That's nice, isn't it? I get very depressed. I've been going through my whole life. I'm
02:15a failure, Betty. You are not a failure, Frank, and you mustn't go on thinking like that.
02:20You'll make yourself ill. Why don't you go and see someone about it? Someone who can understand
02:28your problems. Oh. Well? Well? Don't you even know where you were born? Well, your mother
02:45must have told you. She might have mentioned it. But we talked to so many things. Mr. Spencer,
02:54you really must try to answer my questions. Now, that's the whole point of your visit
02:58here. Didn't your doctor tell you anything? Well, he seemed a little confused when I went
03:02to his surgery. My wife told me to go and see him, and when he saw me, he didn't know
03:06what
03:06to do. So he sent me to you. Well, of course he wouldn't know what to do. He's not qualified
03:12to deal with a situation like this. Now, I am. I'm an expert. I know what's wrong with
03:17people like you. I'm a failure. No, you're not a failure. Mr. Spencer, I know that you're
03:25not a failure, and it's my job to convince you. Now, that's why you're here. Now, you
03:31must have faith in me. I'm going to probe into the corners of your mind and dig out all
03:38the little fears and anxieties. What exactly was your relationship with your mother? I
04:01was her son. Now, I know you were her son, but I was thinking more of, well, for example,
04:15did she dominate you? Well, did she or didn't she? I don't quite understand what you're getting
04:24at. I should have thought that was a perfectly straightforward question. Did she dominate
04:28you? Dominate, Mr. Spencer. It means to control, to command, to tyrannise, Hector, bully, shout
04:37at, tower above. I think I'll try the word association test again. I might have a breakthrough.
04:47Do you want me to lie down again? No, thank you. I've already fallen asleep twice.
04:52But when I came in, you told me to try and relax. Relax, yes. I didn't want you to doze
04:57off completely. Well, I was tired. I've been up all night worrying about this. I'm tired
05:04too. I have a great deal of work to do and a lot of people to see. And since you
05:08came,
05:08you haven't given me the slightest cooperation.
05:12I have. You've been here exactly half an hour. Half that time you've spent asleep. And
05:19even when you're awake, you haven't answered a single question. You won't tell me where
05:22you were born. You don't want to talk about your childhood. You can't or won't mention
05:28a single thing about your mother and your father seems to have disappeared completely.
05:32Mr. Spencer, what is the matter with you?
05:35I told you. I'm a failure.
05:38No, you're not a failure. You only think you are. Now, this is the whole root of your problem.
05:46Why do you have such a low opinion of yourself? People just don't seem to like me.
05:51Well, of course they like you. Now, I'm sure that you have lots of friends. When I heard
05:58you were coming to see me, I had a few words with a mutual friend of ours, Father O'Hara.
06:04I wanted to background information on your church activities.
06:10Father O'Hara, your parish priest, hmm?
06:14Mm-mm.
06:17He doesn't like me.
06:19Well, of course he likes you. It's his job to like you. He likes everybody.
06:26I can't even go to confession anymore. I've been blacklisted.
06:32Well, yes, he does mention that there were some incidents, but he didn't tell you not
06:38to go anymore. He just suggested that you should ration yourself a bit. Well, apparently
06:43it was unfair on the others. You're practically living in that box. Did you have to take your
06:49sandwiches?
06:51Why did he stop me getting a job, then?
06:53He stopped you getting a job? What job?
06:57I wanted to be a priest.
07:00A priest?
07:01Hmm.
07:02A priest? Why?
07:05I'd heard there was a shortage.
07:08And it was December. You know, the Christmas season. They always have a rush on. I thought
07:16they could do what every man they could get.
07:18Mr. Spencer, you don't just become a priest. You've had no religious training whatsoever.
07:24I've been in a monastery.
07:26Oh, really? Oh, Father O'Hara didn't tell me that.
07:29No.
07:29Were you a novice?
07:31No, I was homeless.
07:35Was that the only reason they took you in?
07:38I didn't have anywhere else to go. And they said they'd put me up for a month or so. And
07:43then I had a bit of bother with a chapel roof.
07:46What did you have to do with that?
07:47I fell through it. See, I had the room above. And when I jumped out the bedroom window...
07:55You jumped out of the window?
07:57Hmm.
07:57Why?
07:58This monk came in with a big bell.
08:03It was four o'clock in the morning. I thought the place was on fire.
08:09I know I'd ask for a call for an early service, but I didn't think it was going to be
08:13that early.
08:15It was only four o'clock. I'd only just gone to bed.
08:20I see. Well, what about your Sunday school activities, hmm?
08:24I was in a nativity play.
08:28Yes?
08:29I played Jesus. Made a great impression on me. Most probably affected my whole life.
08:38Mr. Spencer, you were only three weeks old at the time.
08:43You don't forget things like that. That's why I've always kept myself pure and chaste.
08:53So it would hold in good stead for me when I had the medical.
08:58Medical.
08:59But you're a priest.
09:02Mr. Spencer, don't you think you're aiming a little too high?
09:05I mean, why can't you be more content? After all, St. Peter was only a fisherman.
09:10Hmm, but he did other things as well, didn't he?
09:12What?
09:13Before that, yeah.
09:14Oh, yeah.
09:15I've never had a chance.
09:17Well, why can't you be more positive?
09:20Oh, think of your achievements.
09:31I haven't got any.
09:33Now, I've never had any encouragement. You need encouragement.
09:37Well, what about your mother? Now, surely she pushed you on, hmm?
09:43She entered me for a baby show once.
09:46Oh, really? Did you win?
09:48I was disqualified.
09:51Why?
09:52I broke the spring on the pram.
09:55She liked to exhibit me in the cat's box.
10:02I see.
10:04Well, you've a wife now, haven't you?
10:07Now, meeting her for the first time must have meant a great change in your life.
10:12Well, tell me about that.
10:15There's been a lot of trouble there as well.
10:17Yes.
10:18Yes, then.
10:26Lady Bell, stop. Stop on chafing.
10:28Mmm!
10:32Mmm!
10:34Mmm!
10:34Mmm!
10:35Yes!
10:36That was so fun!
10:41Oh!
10:42Ah!
10:43Ah!
10:43Ah!
10:44Ah!
10:45Ah!
10:47I've wet my tail!
10:49Ah!
10:50Ah!
10:50Ah!
10:52Ah!
10:53Ah!
10:54Ah!
10:54Ah!
10:58Ah!
10:59Ah!
11:00Ah!
11:01Ah!
11:02Ah!
11:02Ah!
11:05Excuse me, sir!
11:07Miss!
11:08Oh, sorry, miss!
11:11Oh, are you all right?
11:13Hmm.
11:13I had a little accident in the pond.
11:16I'll help you find your horse.
11:19Um, can you get up behind me?
11:20Oh, thank you very much.
11:22I'm not putting you to any trouble, am I?
11:24Oh, no, no.
11:24It's no trouble at all.
11:26She won't bite me, will she?
11:29No, that's the back.
11:34Oh!
11:38Oh!
11:40Oh!
11:41Oh!
11:42Oh!
11:43Ah!
11:45You're Frank, aren't you?
11:47Ah!
11:48Ah!
11:48I'm Betty.
11:50Oh!
11:50Ah!
11:50Ah!
11:50Ah!
11:51Ah!
11:54You've had quite a hectic day, haven't you?
11:57I don't seem to really get on with horses.
12:00I prefer darts, really.
12:03What did you come here for, then?
12:05I live with my aunt, and she thought the fresh air would do me good.
12:15Well, I joined because I thought I might make some new friends.
12:19I've been here three times, and you're the only person that's talked to me so far.
12:23That's nice to talk, isn't it?
12:27Do you think I'll get a refund?
12:29Well, not if we can't find your horse.
12:34Look, maybe you should let me off here. I don't want to get you into any trouble.
12:37Oh, no, no. I'd rather stay with you.
12:41You can tell me all about your darts.
12:44Oh, I do other things as well.
12:47Oh, I knew you would.
12:49As soon as I saw you, I knew you'd be the sort of person that would lead an interesting life.
12:55Balls.
13:00I play balls as well.
13:03Oh.
13:04Oh, when I said I went bowling, I meant on the green.
13:08I haven't done this before.
13:09Oh, it's quite easy, Frank.
13:12All you have to do is try and knock down as many of those pins as possible.
13:17There. Now, you put those two fingers in there.
13:20Sit.
13:21Hmm.
13:22Now, give it a good swing.
13:24Hmm.
13:24Well, I'll expect I'll soon get to hang a bit.
13:38Betty, I've been masticated.
13:55Here we are, then.
13:57Oh.
13:58Thank you very much for walking me home.
14:02I didn't like to leave you.
14:04You were so shaken up.
14:05Hmm.
14:07Oh.
14:08Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?
14:11Oh, I wouldn't mind.
14:13Oh.
14:15Don't make too much noise, cos I'm living with my auntie, see?
14:18She wouldn't like me bringing anyone home.
14:21Oh, I haven't got a key.
14:23It's in the door on the end of a string.
14:25She won't let me have one of me own,
14:27in case I might lose it.
14:29That's silly.
14:31No, no.
14:31That's what I said.
14:34Can't you find it?
14:35Hmm.
14:36I've got it.
14:37What's the matter, then?
14:39I've got my hand stuck.
14:44Can you grab hold?
14:50Who?
14:52I've got my arm.
14:57Right.
15:02Never mind.
15:03Don't worry.
15:03I'll pull it off.
15:04No, no.
15:04Don't pull.
15:05I'll pull it off.
15:06Okay, give me.
15:06Jam.
15:07You see?
15:07Give me a bit.
15:08Thank you, Frank.
15:09Oh, yes, auntie.
15:10I'm just coming in.
15:11Who's that with you?
15:13No, it's just a friend.
15:14I'm Betty.
15:15Betty Fisher, Mrs...
15:17Miss.
15:18Miss Dingle.
15:19Miss Dingle.
15:20What are you doing here?
15:21She just bought me home, Miss Dingle.
15:23Oh, I don't know.
15:25You should be in bed.
15:26It's only half past nine.
15:28It won't hurt me to be late just for once.
15:30I would not take you in
15:31if I'd have known that you're going to go out every night
15:33picking up women.
15:34I've not been picking up women.
15:35Oh, no, we only went for a walk.
15:37Frank wanted to show me his mother's old house.
15:41They've pulled it down.
15:42You can still see the bricks, though.
15:45And part of the air raid shelter's still standing,
15:49isn't it, Frank?
15:50That was the living room.
15:52Did he tell you about his mother?
15:54She was ashamed of him, you know.
15:56She was not.
15:57When the education people called,
15:59she used to hide him in a cupboard underneath the stairs.
16:01That's not true.
16:02He never went to school until he was ten years old.
16:04I was dead.
16:05And when he did,
16:06all the others stayed away.
16:08They did not.
16:09And it's no good you flouting yourself at him.
16:11That won't get you in.
16:13She's not a strong, Tress.
16:14You birdie dolls are all the same.
16:16I'm not a birdie doll.
16:17And you don't even think he's got any money,
16:18either, because he hasn't.
16:19That's not true.
16:20I do have a bit.
16:21I've got some.
16:22Oh, it doesn't matter, Frank.
16:24I'd still like you,
16:25even if you didn't have anything.
16:29Would you?
16:30Yes.
16:31I've got your help, Bill,
16:32by your teddy bear.
16:34Shh!
16:35Oh, teddy bear.
16:37It's just decoration.
16:40Are you coming in,
16:41or do I have to come down?
16:43Oh, I'm just coming.
16:49Thank you for a nice evening.
16:51We had a lovely time,
16:53didn't we, Frank?
16:55I'm sorry you couldn't see my mum's house,
16:57but it gave you a good idea,
16:59seeing the sight.
17:01Oh, I'm sure it was a lovely place, Frank.
17:04It was.
17:07Well, good night, then.
17:10Good night, then.
17:17Good night, then.
17:18Good night.
17:19Can you manage all right now?
17:21Oh, yes, thank you.
17:22I know where the light is.
17:24Yes.
17:30Yes, well, I can see
17:32it could have been rather difficult for you.
17:34But surely when you explained
17:36the situation to your aunt,
17:37she knew what to do.
17:38Yes.
17:39She threw me out.
17:42For some reason,
17:43I just keep on upsetting people.
17:46You do not upset people.
17:47You only think you do.
17:49I upset them.
17:50Make them angry.
17:51You do not make them angry.
17:53I've just told you that.
17:54I antagonise people.
17:55You do not antagonise people.
17:57Good God, how many more times?
18:00I know what I'm talking about.
18:02I always antagonise.
18:03Shut up!
18:06Shut up!
18:08Shut up!
18:13You do not antagonise people.
18:16You only think you do.
18:18Now, repeat this after me.
18:20I do not antagonise people.
18:23Go.
18:24I do not antagonise people.
18:26Good.
18:28But I do.
18:32I told you.
18:34People don't like me.
18:35People do like you.
18:37Your wife likes you.
18:39Your aunt likes you.
18:40Father O'Hara likes you.
18:41I...
18:41I like you.
18:44I like you.
18:47Then there's your wife's parents.
18:50I've always had a bit of worry about her mother.
18:53I've had constant harassments there.
18:55Well, I'm sure she's very fond of you.
18:57Perhaps she's a woman who hides her feelings.
19:00I wouldn't say that, no.
19:02Surely, when she found out that you wanted to marry her daughter, she must have shown some emotion.
19:07Yes, she got very emotional.
19:10About gaining a son-in-law?
19:12No, about losing a gas cooker.
19:15What has a gas cooker got to do with you marrying her daughter?
19:19Nothing at all.
19:20Then why mention it?
19:21Well, it wasn't working at the time, and Betty'd rung up for the man to come and fix it, and
19:25he hadn't come, and she was very worried.
19:26Her mother's got an awful temper.
19:29I think that's why her husband joined the Navy.
19:32Maybe.
19:33He hadn't been home for six months, and he only went on a ten-day cruise.
19:40Plus, she'd just started her spring cleaning.
19:43I don't think I didn't call at a very inopportune moment.
19:50Oh, Mrs Fisher?
19:53Yes.
19:53Mr Spencer?
19:55Yes.
19:56Your daughter suggested that I should call.
19:59Oh, good.
20:00She did give you the message, then.
20:02Do come in.
20:02I was beginning to wonder if she'd forgotten.
20:05No, I'm sorry I haven't called before.
20:08You certainly took your time.
20:10I've been putting it off.
20:12It won't light.
20:17Oh.
20:19She said you'd had a bit of trouble with it.
20:21I was worried what you might think when you first saw me.
20:25Look, I'm only too delighted you've come at all.
20:28Can you fix it before lunch?
20:31Maybe.
20:32Yeah.
20:34Haven't you brought any tools?
20:36No.
20:38I could get some.
20:40Oh, no, no.
20:41For heaven's sake, don't let us waste any more time.
20:43I know.
20:44I'll lend you some of my husband.
20:46He keeps them in this very, very place.
20:48Do you think I ought to?
20:50He won't mind.
20:51He hasn't used them for years.
20:54No, I meant with...
20:55Well, I've heard a rattle.
20:57I think there might be something loose.
21:07Well, this was very loose.
21:12Are the others all right?
21:15Not that one.
21:20I'm always afraid of a gas leak.
21:23I can't see a thing.
21:24Have you got a match?
21:27A match?
21:30My mother was always afraid of the gas.
21:33Because of her leg, you see.
21:35Her leg?
21:36Yes.
21:37Frank, she used to say,
21:38oh, we never have an explosion because I'll never be able to run away.
21:49That's a big one.
21:52Frank?
21:53Frank Spencer?
21:55You're not little Frank, are you?
21:59Jessica Spencer's boy.
22:01You knew my mother?
22:02Everyone knew your mother.
22:05She had many friends.
22:10Don't, don't, don't you think we ought to call the gas company plants?
22:20I don't think they'll remember me.
22:23It's over three years since I got the sack.
22:27Aren't you the gas man, then?
22:30No.
22:32Oh, good grief.
22:34Did you think I was?
22:45I came on a personal matter.
22:47You keep away from me.
22:53Would you let me marry your daughter, Betty?
22:56Betty?
22:57You?
22:58Marry Betty?
23:00You can't marry Betty.
23:01She's got someone else.
23:03He's a big man.
23:05Ever so big.
23:06Big and rich.
23:08He'll be here any minute.
23:10She's been going out with him for weeks.
23:13That's me.
23:20I'm her fiancé.
23:22You?
23:26You?
23:28There's someone at the door.
23:30Here.
23:32Here.
23:32Oh.
23:34Mrs. Fisher, gas company.
23:36Oh, good.
23:36Come in.
23:39Spencer.
23:40Spencer.
23:41I never thought I'd see you again.
23:43Mr. Hargraves.
23:44Oh, my God.
23:47Do you think you can do anything with it?
23:52Has he been?
23:53Has he been?
23:53Yes.
23:54Right.
23:55I'll arrange to have your gas turned off right away.
23:57You're not going.
23:58And when you get a new cooker, they might allow you a quid on the old one.
24:02Quid?
24:03Well, if he's been at it, you'll be lucky to get that.
24:09Frank Spencer.
24:14Mrs. Fisher, could you tell me where your... what's-his-name is?
24:21It's the cold and the smell of the gas and meeting strangers.
24:27It gets me...
24:27Stop at the stairs.
24:28The door opposite.
24:35Betsy.
24:36Oh, my poor little Betsy.
24:38What have you done?
24:40The soppy-potty Spencers.
24:44Oh, my God.
24:46Has Frank been?
24:47We're going now.
24:49What, already?
24:51Yes, up in the bathroom.
24:53Oh, I think it must be the weather.
24:56And he does get very nervous.
24:58But you mustn't worry about him, Mum.
25:01I...
25:03Mum, what's the matter?
25:05Do you know who that is?
25:07Yes, it's Frank.
25:08That's Jessica Spencer's son.
25:12The Jessica Spencer.
25:14Who?
25:14You must have heard about her.
25:15Everybody's heard about her.
25:17Who?
25:17That's her son from my house.
25:19Oh, Mum, I love him.
25:21You love him?
25:23Nobody don't love the Spencers.
25:25They just keep out of their way.
25:28Mum, you'll grow to like him, really, you will.
25:31But he never knew his mother.
25:32What's his mother got to do with it?
25:34All the Spencers were the same.
25:35It's in the blood.
25:37Well, that's hard on the family.
25:38It was the worst at all.
25:39It's okay.
25:40It's okay.
25:42It's all right.
25:52It's okay.
25:53Oh, it's okay.
25:57Oh, it's okay.
26:03That's fine.
26:06Oh, I'm sorry.
26:09What? My son-in-law? Over my dead body?
26:17So you see, she's never really like me.
26:22Mr Spencer, you were right and I was wrong.
26:26You are a failure.
26:30I told you, didn't I?
26:33I was right all the time.
26:35And I was wrong.
26:37Well, for the first time in my career, I failed.
26:42No, you didn't. You mustn't think like that.
26:45Don't you understand? I'm a failure.
26:48You're not. I'm the failure.
26:50We decided on that. It was unanimous.
26:52I'm the failure and you're the expert.
26:54Expert? How can I be expert if I'm wrong?
26:57But that proves you're right, don't you see?
26:59Think about it.
27:01No, I don't want to think about it.
27:02Good God, how can I be right if I'm wrong?
27:05Yes, but if you don't know you're wrong, you can't be right.
27:08It's only when you thought that you were right that you were wrong.
27:11And now that you know you're wrong, you're right.
27:20All right.
27:23To put it another way...
27:24No, no, I just want you to go.
27:29Just leave me alone.
27:32Yes.
27:34Well, thank you very much.
27:37You've taken a great weight off my shoulders.
27:41Am I the first failure that you've met?
27:46I don't suppose you often meet people like me, do you?
27:49Mr. Spencer, I have never met anybody like you.
27:54It's not often that anyone does really know what they really are, is there?
28:02Good-bye.
28:06If I have any more problems, I'll know where to come, won't I?
28:15I'm a failure.
28:17Oh, really?
28:17Hmm.
28:18He just told me.
28:20I'm just going out to tell the wife.
28:22No.
28:26I'm a failure.
28:39I'm a real failure.
28:42You soon will be if you don't shift yourself.
28:48I know.
28:50I just want to see someone.
28:52I do.
28:53I do.
28:54I do.
28:55I do.
28:55I do.
28:57I do.
28:58I do.
29:03I do.
29:15I do.
29:30I told you.
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