The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:01Who you with?
00:18Oh, oh, hey, America.
00:20I ain't got nothing to talk about.
00:22Nothing but waiting on Vanessa to come back with my damn truck.
00:34Girl, I know I'm supposed to get my manicure.
00:37My nails got longer just in the time I've been waiting for.
00:45Hello?
00:46Nessa, you know you better...
00:48Gotcha.
00:49At the beach, leave a message.
00:54Yo, y'all hear this?
01:00Oh, yeah.
01:03America is home.
01:10Oh.
01:12Uh, well, I know I'm late, but the traffic was...
01:14You see these?
01:15My cuticles will be getting pushed back right now at Mama Kim's.
01:18You know, I'm tired of this, Nessa.
01:19You do this every doggone time.
01:21Well, it wouldn't happen if you'd just go in and get me my own car.
01:24A car for what?
01:25Would you need a car?
01:26Where do you think you're gonna be going if you need a car?
01:27I don't know.
01:29Study groups.
01:30Study groups?
01:30If you can't study here, Nessa, I guess you're just gonna have to flunk.
01:33Cause ain't no way I'm buying you no doggone car.
01:36Ain't no way in hell I'm buying...
01:38You know, every time I got somewhere to go, Nessa, you thought...
01:41I'm tired of this, man.
01:43America, I hope y'all know this isn't about a car.
01:47No, sir.
01:48It's about where a car would take her.
01:50To boys.
01:52She's hollering about, you don't trust me.
01:54You don't trust me.
01:55Oh, I trust her.
01:57I don't trust them.
02:00America.
02:03Comic-Con's coming?
02:05I hear it rocks.
02:06We totally have to go to this.
02:08When does that take us?
02:10Maybe we can ride our bikes there.
02:11You doofus.
02:12There's no sidewalk to San Diego.
02:14Who had parents cool enough to take us?
02:17I'm cool.
02:18What's the problem, fellas?
02:20I'm trying a way to figure out how to get to Comic-Con.
02:22Do or do not.
02:23There is no try.
02:25Yoda, Star Wars Episode 5.
02:27And so I propose.
02:33You guys wanna ask me something?
02:34Will you take us to Comic-Con?
02:36Sure.
02:37Wow, thanks, Aunt Wanda.
02:39Oh, wait.
02:39Here comes the disappointment.
02:41No, it means there's not much time to get you guys new costumes.
02:44Oh, come on, I got the catalog in my room.
02:49I wish my mom was as cool as your aunt should.
02:51I hope she takes us in the Beamer.
02:52And drops the top.
02:58Hey, Miss Dang.
03:00What you beaming about?
03:02Oh, nothing.
03:03It's just that Jordan and his friends think I'm cool.
03:06Oh.
03:07So you got the nerds who don't approve, huh?
03:09Don't hate.
03:10They're kids.
03:11Now, see, America?
03:13Wanda's a grown woman.
03:14But there's still something in her that needs approval from boys.
03:17Only she's grown.
03:19Can't tell her nothing, though.
03:21Vanessa?
03:24Damn.
03:26Can't tell her nothing, either.
03:30What the hell?
03:34Oh, come on, baby.
03:46Who lent you this bucket?
03:48Oh, I didn't borrow it.
03:49I bought it.
03:50You bought it?
03:51You mean to tell me you bought this after I stood right here and told you you couldn't
03:55have no car?
03:56Actually, you said you weren't going to buy me one.
03:58You never said I couldn't buy my own one.
04:00Don't try to twist my words around, Nessa.
04:02You went behind my back.
04:03Baby, she went behind my back.
04:04It's ugly.
04:06Uh, where'd you get the money?
04:08I used my savings bond.
04:10Wait a minute.
04:10You spent $1,000 on this?
04:12Well, actually, it was $8.50 and then that left me $150 to get a new muffler.
04:17It runs a lot quieter now.
04:19So let's turn some corners.
04:29You're right, Nessa.
04:30It's quiet.
04:31I mean real quiet.
04:33You got took.
04:35What am I going to do?
04:37Well, I tell you, first thing you're going to do, you're going to get this hunk of junk
04:40out our driveway.
04:41That's what you're going to do.
04:42Come on, baby.
04:44Get out.
04:44Help your sister push.
04:45Baby girl, let's go.
04:47Baby, you know I told her she couldn't have...
04:49Did you scratch my paint?
04:51It's hard to tell.
05:11Hey.
05:12Nessa, I thought I told you to move that car weeks ago.
05:15But I've been trying to raise the money.
05:17I babysat every night this week.
05:18You tell your story walking, I do mean walking.
05:21Because if that car's not gone by Monday morning, if you don't move it, I will.
05:30America, the Mac men come too doggone far and work too hard to have my house looking all ghetto.
05:36It's bad enough I got all these kids running in and out of here.
05:40But this?
05:41Shoot.
05:42Damn car look homeless.
05:43Oil leaking all over my driveway.
05:45Big old rough spots.
05:48Nessa.
05:52Ah, you too late.
05:53I got the tow truck here right now.
05:55This way, my man.
05:56Hurry up.
05:56Just backing all up here.
05:57There we go.
05:58Hurry up.
05:59Right this way.
06:00And did this here.
06:01Don't even worry about paying me back.
06:03It's on the house.
06:05Come on, baby.
06:08Hey.
06:09Yeah, hey.
06:10How you do that?
06:11You don't know nothing about no cars.
06:16What the hell?
06:17Who are you, man?
06:19Oh, I'm...
06:19Oh, that's Curtis.
06:20He's in my math class.
06:21And he knows everything about cars.
06:24Nice to meet you, Mr. Mac.
06:27You fixed this, man?
06:29Yeah.
06:30Good.
06:31Now, clean yourself on good stuff.
06:32Actually, there's a whole lot more I can do to it.
06:34Like what?
06:36Like putting a new sound system.
06:37Put some datings on it.
06:39And she could use a good buffing, too.
06:41What?
06:41What I'm saying is, I can pimp this ride.
06:44Yeah.
06:45Pimp it.
06:46Pimp it out.
06:48Mm-hmm.
06:49See, this is the trouble with girls and cars, America.
06:52Her car don't even run.
06:53And there's a boy sniffing all around,
06:56talking about pimpin' her ride.
06:57I'll let that go.
06:59Next thing you know, America, he think he can pimp her.
07:02Oh, hell no.
07:04It ain't guine's on.
07:05It ain't guine's.
07:06Hell no.
07:08Yeah.
07:09It ain't guine's on.
07:09Yeah.
07:11Yeah.
07:11Yeah.
07:12Yeah.
07:16Yeah.
07:17Yeah.
07:19Yeah.
07:20I heard that's funny.
07:21Got it.
07:23You can always refill it, you guys.
07:29Hold on.
07:29Hold on, Nessa.
07:31I'll be out in a minute.
07:32There's a hose on the side of the house.
07:35I move my car out to the street, so your precious driveway is free, okay?
07:38Wait, wait, wait.
07:39What's up with your pit crew?
07:40And what you promised them boys?
07:42Nothing.
07:43They boys.
07:44They ain't doing all that work for nothing.
07:46They're my friends, and they like cars.
07:48Once again, they boys.
07:50And I don't want to tell you what they do like.
07:52Believe what you want.
07:54They ain't doing all the goodness in their heart, Nessa.
07:56They boys.
07:57I keep telling you, they boys ain't got no goodness in their heart.
08:00Nessa, you-
08:01Ah!
08:02Boy, y'all-
08:03Don't come up in here pregnant.
08:05I'll call that for Lord.
08:05Don't come up in here pregnant.
08:07I'll show you better than I can tell you.
08:08Get knocked.
08:10Huh.
08:10Sit that baby in the back in front of somebody that don't ding-dong.
08:13Baby.
08:14Watch.
08:16I can't wait till Comic-Con.
08:18It's gonna be so cool.
08:19I'm gonna get Wolverine's autograph.
08:21I'm gonna get Laura Croft.
08:23Why'd she even be there?
08:24Hello.
08:26Scheduled to appear.
08:27That's what it said last year.
08:29You wound up with Dora the Explorer.
08:31Whatever.
08:31I just know that we're going to Comic-Con, and nothing to be sweeter than that.
08:43What you gonna do with all that junk?
08:45All that junk inside your trunk.
08:47I'mma get, get, get, get you drunk.
08:49Get you love drunk off my hump.
08:51My hump, my hump.
08:52My hump, my hump, my hump.
08:54My hump, my hump, my hump.
08:56My hump, my hump.
08:57My lovely little lumps.
08:58Check it out.
08:59I met a girl down at the disco.
09:02She said, hey, hey, hey.
09:03Yeah, let's go.
09:04I could be your baby.
09:04You could be my honey.
09:06Let's spend time, not money.
09:07And mix your milk with my cocoa puff.
09:09Milky, milky, cocoa.
09:11Mix your milk with my cocoa puff.
09:13Milky, milky, right?
09:14They sell these brothers crazy.
09:17I do it on the daily.
09:19They treat me really nicely.
09:20They always dancing next to me.
09:23Trying to feel my hump, hump.
09:25Looking at my love, love.
09:26That was the Black Eyed Peas.
09:28See them live at the Griffith Hills Amphathena this Friday.
09:31Just be my 100th caller on the station that gives it up.
09:34The heat.
09:35Roof, roof.
09:42Oh, you're so lame.
09:45Yeah, we're lame squared.
09:48I'm talking about four equal sides joined at right angles.
09:51Actually, squared refers to race and second power,
09:54not the quadrilateral.
09:55Guys, guys, guys, we're getting off on a tangent.
09:57And by tangent, I don't mean the single point
10:00where a line intersects a circle.
10:01Hey, hey, the point I was trying to make is
10:03we should be going to the Black Eyed Peas.
10:05And we should be going with girls.
10:07I bet if we can get tickets,
10:09we could get Erica from gym class to go with us.
10:12She is so hot.
10:14And what about our friends?
10:15They're cute.
10:16And they could climb the rope.
10:18I wonder if there'll be a rope at the concert.
10:20Where could we even buy the tickets?
10:21On the internet, dummy.
10:24Did we go for it?
10:25Who's gonna drive us?
10:27I could get my Aunt Wanda to drive us.
10:29Jordan, your aunt's cool, but she's not that cool.
10:33That's why she won't even know
10:34he's taking us.
10:39So I'll pick you up in an hour?
10:41Sounds cool.
10:42All right, then.
10:43You going somewhere, Nessa?
10:45Oh, just to the beach with some friends.
10:47That Curtis boy going?
10:48A bunch of us are going in two cars.
10:51That's not what I asked you, Nessa.
10:52Is that Curtis boy going?
10:54Yes.
10:55What?
10:55I told you.
10:56He's just a friend.
10:57Well, he won't mind you calling off then, huh?
11:00Aunt Wanda, he's not letting me go to the beach now.
11:04I'll talk to him.
11:06You look cute.
11:07Baby, you better talk to her, especially when she come home pregnant.
11:11I'm not taking care of no more babies.
11:12You best believe that.
11:14Come on.
11:14We done been through this before.
11:16Hasn't she proven herself to be responsible?
11:18When are you going to start trusting her?
11:20I trust her, Wanda.
11:22There's no damn boys I don't trust.
11:25Okay.
11:27You know what, America?
11:29Maybe I will trust her, but not blindly.
11:32I'm going to do like the CIA.
11:35Trust, verify.
11:39My baby girl, don't forget.
11:41I want to know everything this Curtis boy says and does.
11:44You got me?
11:44I thought you wanted me to spy on Vanessa.
11:47I want you to spy on both of them.
11:50Okay, but we're going to keep it on a deal.
11:52Huh?
11:54The download.
11:55Got it.
11:59Oh, Nessa, don't you look great.
12:01On your way to the beach, huh?
12:03Don't forget your SPF.
12:06And your baby sister.
12:07What?
12:07Yeah, she could use a tan.
12:09No way.
12:10I can't believe you're turning this into a babysitting job.
12:12You want to go to the beaches, don't you?
12:16Hurry up and get your stuff.
12:17I'll be outside.
12:18Hold on.
12:19Hold on.
12:20I'll take this with you.
12:26Don't forget.
12:28You're my eyes.
12:32Hold on.
12:33Hold on.
12:34Here.
12:35I'll take this now.
12:38Fifty bucks?
12:50See you all were coming with us for the Black Eyed Peas show tonight, right?
12:53There's no way Bigfoot's going to let me out for that.
12:56And I have to study for my SATs tonight.
13:00Oh no. I got a ticket.
13:04And where am I supposed to get $20 from?
13:08Right here.
13:12Thanks.
13:18Will they alone at any time? Will they hold their hands? Talk to me, girl.
13:22Split it out. Will they kiss them? No.
13:24Hold their hands? No.
13:25They can googly eyes at each other?
13:26They were wearing sunglasses.
13:31Wow. The boy's good.
13:35Oh, America. That boy think he's smooth.
13:39Well, I'll fix your car, Vanessa. Yeah.
13:41But he's gonna trip up. And when he does, America, I'll fix him.
13:48Okay, boys, now don't tell your parents we went to Royal Burgers two days in a row.
13:52They may not think that's cool.
13:53I am so lucky to have you, Four Night Aunt Wanda.
13:56Come on, guys. I got the batteries for the lightsabers in my room.
13:59All right, fellas.
14:01See, honey? When you trust your kids, you get friends.
14:04No, baby. When you trust your kids, you get grandkids.
14:12Uh, hello? Erica? This is Jordan. Jordan Tompkins. I'm in your social studies class.
14:20Yeah, that's me, but I don't really like that name.
14:24So, um, how would you like to go see the Black Eyed Peas?
14:40Sweet costume.
14:41Sweet costume.
14:44Steven got the respiratory compressor.
14:46No, actually, I just kept breathing here.
14:49Okay, all right.
14:52Whoa.
14:55Out.
14:56Got him.
14:57You look good.
15:00A little toy.
15:09Uh, tell me again why we have to stop at Arnold's house.
15:11He forgot his Chewbacca bowcaster.
15:16Uh, does it take all three of you guys to get Arnold's bowcaster?
15:19Um, yes, because our star system, it's customary to do everything in threes.
15:25We don't make the rules.
15:26Yeah, okay, well, hurry up. Come on, make it quick.
15:37Oh, my God, that was quick.
15:40Arnold, did you get your bowcaster?
15:42What's the matter?
15:44You're awfully quiet.
15:45Did the force get your tongue?
15:48That's a joke.
15:49Okay, great.
15:50Come on, let's go.
15:52Come on, Jordan, you've been in this car several times.
15:55Put that up.
15:58Tell me again why does she care about the area of a triangle?
16:01Sounds like we should take a five.
16:04If you're on your way to the free-for-all tonight, there's a taste of what we'll be serving her.
16:10Oh, that's my song!
16:19Oh, that's great.
16:22Hello?
16:25Hello?
16:28My lovely little lumps.
16:31Check it out.
16:33Study them up.
16:35You hear that, America?
16:37Did that sound like studying to you?
16:39Doggone girl, she off to some doggone party.
16:42Uncle Brennan, I need to go to Donner's to crack the books.
16:45I'll crack a book upside her head.
16:47Y'all just wait.
16:54America, y'all pray for me.
16:57Baby girl, the whole time you all was at the beach, did they talk about any party?
17:02Nope.
17:03You sure?
17:04Yes, they were too busy talking about the concert.
17:07What concert?
17:09Talk to me.
17:10Well, Curtis said they should all go to the Black Eyed Pea concert.
17:13That's when Vanessa got her ticket.
17:15It was really expensive.
17:17She told me not to tell you.
17:19A ticket?
17:20Where'd she get the money from?
17:22Curtis paid.
17:28See, America?
17:29That's what happens when your pants sag below your butt.
17:33Sooner or later, you trip out.
17:35Take my niece to a concert, will you?
17:37Okay?
17:38I'm going to go down there.
17:39And when I see them...
17:44You know what I got to do.
17:52Hey.
18:00Aren't you glad you didn't come as Iron Man Arnold?
18:05Where do you think you're going?
18:07You're not Arnold.
18:10Who are you?
18:11You're not the droids you're looking for.
18:15Now, listen.
18:17What did you do with my nephew and I don't want any science fiction?
18:23Speak.
18:26Oh, Erica.
18:27Hey.
18:28Hey.
18:30Well, here we are.
18:31Hold up.
18:32Show us the tickets.
18:33What?
18:33You don't trust us?
18:35Told you.
18:36I'm out.
18:36I knew he was a buster.
18:38No, no, no, no.
18:38Wait, wait.
18:39Here they are.
18:39Here they are.
18:45I think this is going really well.
18:47You should have to go even better if you lose the utility bill.
18:56What did that say, man?
18:57She said she had to study, sir.
18:59Look here, boy.
19:00Come clean.
19:00I'm not playing with you.
19:01Where my baby at?
19:01I'm telling you, she had to study.
19:03Hey, Jordan.
19:04Four or five?
19:05Hold on one minute.
19:07You hold on.
19:07Hold on.
19:08Y'all?
19:09Bernie, honey, listen.
19:10Jordan is gone.
19:11He snuck off to some concert.
19:14What?
19:22Hey, I'm Bernie.
19:28I wouldn't tell you how much trouble you in, but I don't even make me mad at you.
19:31Uncle Bernie.
19:32John, don't you talk.
19:33Hey, buddy.
19:34Watch out.
19:36Hey, man.
19:36What are you doing?
19:37Yeah, watch where you going.
19:39Pull your pants up and maybe you can walk.
19:42What'd you say, old man?
19:43Old man?
19:44I got you, old man.
19:47Hey, man.
19:49Hey, man.
19:50Hey, man.
19:51Come on, man.
19:52Come on, man.
19:53Come on, man.
19:54Hey, man.
19:55I'm a Christian.
19:55Come on, now.
19:58Whoa!
20:00Whoa!
20:15You missed a spot.
20:17I scrubbed it, but it didn't get cleaned.
20:19Well, use the force.
20:20And when you're done, use a mop.
20:23Hey, baby.
20:24You know you're right.
20:25When you trust your kids, you end up with a nice, clean floor.
20:29In fact, we need to trust our kids a couple of times a month.
20:33Your ride is here.
20:35Coming!
20:35How many times?
20:36I'm gonna take it.
20:38Just be thankful for what you got.
20:49Where are we going?
20:51To the rental car, please.
20:52They got a severe waiting on me.
20:57What?
20:59Gas money.
21:00my baby gets plenty thirsty so 20 bucks should do okay okay America so I was
21:10wrong about NASA but I was right about boys can't be trusted but not even the
21:15nerves
21:16you talk
21:22I'm going to watch out watch what you're walking poop but hook yeah
21:46come and get me copper
21:54you
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