00:00I did go to Zambia though. Fantastic place, Zambia. Went there, visited the place, had a good time.
00:05While I was there, I had a chaperone who really made my trip. His name was Ali Nani, a sweet
00:08guy.
00:09And his job was to get me accustomed to the Zambian culture, you know. And every day he would give
00:13me
00:13a new piece of information, some more interesting than others. Like one day he looks at me and he
00:17goes, Trevor, you know Zambia, Zambia is a very, very conservative nation, huh? I said, oh, okay,
00:23Ali. He says, yeah. So please, stay away from profanity. I said, oh, okay, I can do that,
00:29you know. And I assumed he meant swearing, right? But I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure
00:33if he meant a person or swearing. I wasn't like, no, no, no. Because in Zambia, people have names
00:37like profanity. So that's how I laughed when I meant screwdriver, eh? That's the same way I laughed.
00:43Yeah, because you see, in South Africa, we have African names you can translate like happiness,
00:48blessing, hope, those kinds of names, right? But then in Zambia, people give their names,
00:54like their children, they give their children names of everyday English words, anything. So like
00:58table, chair, car, house. Yeah, you see like this, you just have to get used to it. It's very hard,
01:04but you have to keep a straight face, which was difficult because I met a mechanic who had
01:08sons named Break and Clutch. And that was not, especially when Break was running around causing
01:13chaos and his dad was there like, stop it, Break, stop it, Break, stop it, Stop it, Break. And I
01:18was
01:18like, eh, stop it, Break. But you have to get used to it. It's a cultural thing. And so you
01:26have to respect it. And the second warning Ali gave me was even stranger. We're driving
01:32through Lusaka, the capital. And Ali looks over at me in the car and he goes, Trevor,
01:38you know, here in Zambia, we are a very God-loving nation, eh? I said, oh, okay, Ali, that's a
01:43good thing to know. He says, yes. So while you are here, don't be gay.
01:51So what? He says, I know it can be tempting sometimes, but don't do it, huh? Don't be
01:56gay. Don't be gay. I've never been warned of this in my life. Don't, don't be gay. Hey,
02:02bro, don't be gay. Don't be gay. Don't be gay. Crazy, crazy, crazy warning to get. But then
02:10I found out why Ali was warning me. Turns out in Zambia, being gay is illegal. If you
02:17are found to be gay, you will be arrested and sent to prison for more than 30 years. Yeah.
02:25Which is a bit of a weird punishment.
02:32When you think about it.
02:36I mean, I'm not saying gay guys would enjoy prison. I'm just saying if I was gay, that's
02:42not the worst thing you could do to me. You'd be like, you're going to jail. I'd be like,
02:46oh no.
02:52Don't be gay. I couldn't believe this. Gay is a crime in Zambia, which got me thinking.
02:58If gay is a crime, that means the police have to monitor it. They actually have to police
03:03gay. Yeah. Which means in their police force, they have a gay division. It's a crime. It's
03:10a crime. So that means they've got a murder unit. They've got a robbery unit. They've
03:14got a white collar crimes unit. And then they've got a gay unit. Huh? Yeah. They've got a little
03:17G unit in their police force. That's responsible for all things gay. That must be the most fun
03:23police force to be in the world. You get to go undercover, dress up really nice, get in touch
03:28with your flamboyant side. You know, just have a good time. I bet the sergeant's there every
03:32morning, briefing his detectives. Good morning, detectives. Welcome, everybody. Today, we
03:38will be launching a sting operation. We have just been informed of a fashion show that
03:44will be taking place. And as you know, the gays cannot resist the latest trends. Therefore,
03:51we will be in full attendance to apprehend each and every one of them. Let us make sure we
03:54are here. Detective Chippewa, present. Detective Table, present. Detective Mungai, present.
04:08I think he's in too deep.
04:16How do you, how do you police gay? Do they stop you if you look suspiciously gay in the
04:21streets? You know, I mean, gay doesn't have a look, but maybe you've just got to bounce
04:23about you. Maybe you just have like a bit of pizzazz. Maybe, you know, do the police pull
04:27up there and he's like, whoo, you over there. What is the purpose of that flamboyant scarf?
04:36Put your hands up.
04:40Turn around. Don't tempt me. Don't tempt me.
04:43You're going to jail.
04:47How do you police gay? Do they have roadblocks, like for drunk driving? Do they have gay roadblocks?
04:53They're stopping people in their car. Good evening, officer. Good evening, sir.
04:58License, please. Thank you very much. Mr. Stylish, huh?
05:03Tell me, sir. Have you been gay this evening?
05:07What? Oh, no, no, no. I have not been gay. No, no. In fact, I don't gay at all. At
05:11all.
05:12I see. Not even one or two? No, no, no. No gays for me. No gays for me.
05:16Okay. Then tell me, sir.
05:20What is that I can smell on your breath?
05:22What is that? Is that balls?
05:27No, no, no. No, I don't even eat chutney. No, no.
05:35So you are not gay? No, not gay at all.
05:38Then, sir, can you please blow into this?
05:52Don't be gay.
05:55I was not gay while I was in Zambia, so I had a good time.
05:59Went around, saw the people. The highlights of my trip came when on my day off, I asked Ali for
06:04suggestions.
06:05Ali said to me, maybe you should drive around to Saka, meet some of the people, you know, just have
06:08a good time.
06:09I said, Ali, I want to do something special.
06:11He said, ah, okay, well, in that case, maybe you can go to the mall.
06:14And if you are lucky, maybe you can ride the escalators, huh?
06:20I said, what? Yeah, I'm not promising anything.
06:23But if you are early, maybe you can go once or twice.
06:26I said, escalators, I know, mind blowing, huh?
06:30I thought he was messing with me.
06:33Until I found out people in Zambia go to the mall just to ride the escalators.
06:41Seems ridiculous until you understand the back story.
06:45When we were in Zambia, there were only five public escalators.
06:51Five.
06:52In the whole country.
06:54The first escalator was built in August.
06:58Not August 19.
07:00No, no, no.
07:01You guys remember August?
07:02August, August, August, August.
07:03You guys remember that?
07:03They built their first escalators ever.
07:06Yeah.
07:06And so now it's all the rage.
07:07People go to the mall just to ride escalators.
07:09Yeah.
07:10But now, I don't want you to picture like some dusty village.
07:12That's not what Zambia is.
07:13It's a beautiful place.
07:14They're developing just as we are.
07:15They've got roads.
07:16They've got airports.
07:17They've got beautiful hotels, stunning shopping malls.
07:20They've got everything we've got.
07:21Even faster internet.
07:22They just never had escalators.
07:25And now they started building them.
07:26And because of that, people go there and they just spend a day riding escalators.
07:31Dads will go home and fetch their kids.
07:32Children, we are going to the mall.
07:34To do what, daddy?
07:35To do shopping.
07:37And to ride the escalators.
07:39Yay!
07:42We couldn't believe this, so we went to the mall, right?
07:44We get to the mall.
07:45The mall is empty.
07:47Escalators are packed.
07:50People are standing in lines, going around, doubling back on themselves.
07:53There's old people, young people, even couples.
07:55There were couples.
07:56Guys that actually picked up women by saying, I'm going to take you to the escalator, girl.
08:01She's like, oh, you're so fancy, eh?
08:06Escalators.
08:07Some people didn't even know how to ride the escalators.
08:10Kids were easy.
08:10They just jumped on.
08:11Old people would panic.
08:12There was one guy who got on the escalator and was going up.
08:15And I guess to compensate for something in his mind, as it went up, he started leaning.
08:21And he fell down.
08:24He was hurt so badly.
08:28Oh, it was fantastic to watch.
08:32We spent like three hours doing this, just watching people, riding escalators.
08:36And you know what?
08:37Our patience paid off.
08:38Because in hour three, the most fantastic thing happened.
08:41A school brought a class of children to the mall.
08:46And their excursion was just to ride the escalators.
08:50It was magic.
08:52Thirty kids, about five years old, cutest things, wearing their little black and white uniforms.
08:57And they're standing there together holding hands.
08:59And they were so excited.
09:01So shining.
09:02Not from excitement, that Vaseline.
09:10And there's two teachers with the children.
09:13And they grab their hands on either end.
09:15And in a long train, they start to march through the mall.
09:17And as they do, they start singing at the top of their lungs like little angels.
09:22Escalator.
09:24Escalator.
09:26Escalator.
09:27Oh.
09:30Escalator.
09:32Escalator.
09:32Yeah.
09:33Hey, that was the sweetest thing ever.
09:34People are waving at them, smiling.
09:37And these kids see the escalators.
09:39And they lost their minds.
09:43These kids went crazy.
09:45They're not holding hands.
09:46They start screaming and running around.
09:49It looked like a zombie movie or something.
09:50It was like they're jumping.
09:51But then you see the smiles on their faces.
09:53It looks like the end of Sarafina.
09:54You're like, what the hell is going on here?
09:56These kids are screaming and having the time.
09:58They're jumping around doing cartwheels.
10:00The teacher can't control them.
10:01She's panicking like, yeah, get back.
10:02Get back.
10:03Two by two.
10:04Two by two.
10:05Two by two was one of the kids.
10:06I didn't know.
10:07She's like, two by two.
10:08Next to me.
10:09Next to me.
10:09Sing and fight.
10:10Sing and fight.
10:11Other kids are still jumping.
10:13She can't control them.
10:13There was one fat kid.
10:14He couldn't jump.
10:15So he just shook himself.
10:18Escalator.
10:21Escalator.
10:25That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life.
10:29It's like I had gone in a time machine to a time when escalators were new.
10:33Brand new and popular.
10:35So popular that people were taking pictures of the escalators using their iPhones.
10:44T.P.R.
10:46Technology, eh?
10:47Ah, ah, ah.
10:48Who even thinks of these things, eh?
10:50Can you imagine?
10:51Hey, we are in the future now, my man.
10:52Mechanically moving stairs, eh?
10:54Ah, ah.
10:55What are we going to see next?
10:56I don't even know.
10:56I don't even know.
10:57I wonder how it works, eh?
10:59Let me just check there.
11:00Siri, how does NSK let's how whack?
11:03I don't know, eh?
11:05Ah!
11:06Hey, guys.
11:07Thanks for watching.
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11:11And by prizes, I mean surprise.
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