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00:00What's your name? Leo. Leo? Pleasure, my buddy. Who are you here with? With my mom. With your mom?
00:07Wow, what a nice son you are. This is your mom? No, my mom's son. Your mom's sitting somewhere else?
00:14What a shit son you are. You take the third row, you give your mom the 10th row?
00:22Mom, what's your name? Oh my God, that's your mom?
00:30Hi, mom. Please come sit here.
00:37What's your name, mom? Huh? I'm not talking to you, bitch. I'm talking.
00:45Are you trying to say I'm cross-thigh or some shit?
00:49I'm looking at the hot-ass blonde row 12, third seat, and the guy next to her has got a
00:56hard-on.
00:57Sir, take it easy.
01:00Sorry, mom. Cockblocker row four.
01:06Darling, what's your name?
01:07This is Lana.
01:08Lana. Pleasure. Thank you so much for bringing Leo to the show.
01:13This is really nice, and you're such a great mother.
01:15You were like, Leo, this is not appropriate for your age.
01:20But because I raised you such a mature man, I'm going to take you with mommy to enjoy the best
01:26comedy show in the world, Sally.
01:31People smuggle kids into my show.
01:35This is history of what's happening right now.
01:39Can I ask you a question?
01:40I'm just wondering, what is your relationship status?
01:48Divorced.
01:49Oh, I'm so sorry.
01:52If you ever need somebody to talk to, I'm always here for you.
01:57I just want you to know.
01:59And currently, what is your strategy of dating?
02:02Are you on any dating apps?
02:06You're focusing on your son.
02:07When your son is a very mature grown-up, he doesn't need any focus.
02:12It's time for him to move out of the house, if you ask me.
02:15I think it's time, Leo, to go get his own place.
02:21I'm more than happy to consult this topic with you.
02:26Okay, Lana, so you're single, and you're such a kind mom that you sacrificed your life for your son, Leo.
02:35And I admire you for that.
02:37Leo, you're very lucky to have a mom this cool, this beautiful, this amazing.
02:46And sincerely, I will tell you, you will be even more lucky if you have me as your stepfather.
02:57I'm going to choose one couple to bring them on stage, and I'm going to play this game with them.
03:01This couple is going to win the best gift they've ever won in their life.
03:09Which couple wants to come on stage?
03:11Raise your hands.
03:12Okay, I got nothing here.
03:13I don't like you.
03:15Too much energy.
03:16This one here, you want to come on stage?
03:18These two are cute.
03:19Come, come.
03:20You two come.
03:21Come on stage.
03:21Go that way.
03:22Go that way.
03:25Look at this big boy.
03:26What's up, my man?
03:27How you doing, buddy?
03:28Hi.
03:29Nice to meet you.
03:31Please, you can stay here.
03:32Yeah.
03:33And what's your name?
03:34Mike.
03:35Mike.
03:36And what's your name?
03:36Corinne.
03:37F***.
03:40Mike and Corinne.
03:41Mike, any secrets that you have that she doesn't know?
03:46Probably, yeah.
03:47Yeah?
03:48Good or bad?
03:48It's all good secrets.
03:50It's all good secrets?
03:50I was always honest with you.
03:51Corinne.
03:54Do you have any secrets, anything that you know that your husband doesn't know?
03:58Just one.
03:59Just one?
04:00Wow.
04:01What's his name?
04:06Do you think this secret is going to be a very, like, big news?
04:10Something that is going to really, like, boom, explode this guy?
04:14Boom.
04:15Yeah?
04:15Why?
04:16Because he's Lebanese?
04:17No, I just, I think, I think because size matters.
04:19You know, uh, okay, Corinne, tell this man the secret that you have.
04:30Okay, hold on.
04:32Oh, my God.
04:32Don't take your clothes off.
04:33There are kids in the audience.
04:34You're going to take something out of your bag?
04:36Yeah.
04:58Oh, that's so beautiful, man.
05:03Mike, Mike, congratulations, my brother.
05:06And congratulations to you.
05:08This lady is so incredible.
05:11She wanted to reveal to her husband that she's pregnant.
05:15And I have a secret that I want to reveal to Mike.
05:21It's my baby.
05:32Your mom is here with her group, and you want me to make fun of your mom?
05:37Or you've lost your mind?
05:39You know tonight after the show you have to go home with your mom, right?
05:43You want to sleep on the street?
05:46Which one is your mom?
05:50The blonde?
05:53That's your mom?
05:59Mom, I'm going to make fun of you.
06:02You give me your phone number right now.
06:06I'm going to call you, and I'm going to make all kinds of jokes about you.
06:10That's your mom?
06:16I'm actually, I don't have any kids.
06:21I would love to adopt you.
06:22That's what I'm going to say.
06:26I would love to adopt you.
06:32Anybody here goes to a medium?
06:34Yeah, you do?
06:35Who did you want to connect with?
06:37My son.
06:38Oh, your son.
06:39Oh, my God.
06:40Well, first of all, sorry to hear that probably the hardest thing in life is to lose a child.
06:44I lost two children.
06:46You lost two children.
06:49My God.
06:50My God.
06:51My heart goes to you because I don't think anybody can imagine the difficultness.
06:57Did you feel better after the experience?
06:59Yes.
07:00Yes.
07:01And you had some closure.
07:02You had some connection.
07:03Oh, that's amazing.
07:04And what's your name?
07:06Renee.
07:06Renee?
07:07Well, thank you for sharing.
07:09This is incredible.
07:10And who are you here with?
07:11My friend Joanna.
07:12Your friend Joanna.
07:13She doesn't seem like a nice person.
07:18Sorry.
07:19She seems nice.
07:22There's always one bitch in the friendship.
07:24I'm just saying.
07:26But Renee, thank you for tolerating her.
07:29Yeah.
07:31But no, I only just made that joke because she grabbed her hand and she was getting the
07:36fuck off of me.
07:38So, you lost two of your sons, two of your kids, two different times.
07:44Oh, my God.
07:45And are you married?
07:47Yes, I am now.
07:48You're now married.
07:49I was.
07:50I lost him to my first marriage.
07:52You lost your husband also?
07:55No.
07:55My first marriage.
07:57Oh, this is the only time you were like, I wish I lost him.
08:06Rula?
08:07Where are you from?
08:08Syria.
08:08Syria.
08:09And you?
08:10Her daughter.
08:11Her daughter?
08:12No.
08:14It's a mom and a daughter?
08:16Wow.
08:16Both of you so hot and so young and this is incredible.
08:21You love having a young mom?
08:24Does it make you uncomfortable when men hit on her in front of you?
08:28You got used to it, so in the beginning it was very difficult.
08:33But then you're like, oh, it's the story of my life every day.
08:36Hot mom.
08:37What do I do?
08:38That's cool.
08:39Like, but, but, huh?
08:41Knock it off.
08:42Knock it off?
08:43Is that your lady?
08:45Is that your lady?
08:46I'm her brother.
08:48Oh.
08:55So far the conversation has been halal.
08:59Relax.
09:00I am only giving compliments.
09:03She's single.
09:05Why do you think?
09:05Because of you.
09:07Knock it off.
09:09She's going to go through her whole life being single again.
09:12She's taken.
09:13She's taken.
09:14She's not taken.
09:14When I say single people, she clapped.
09:18I am paying attention, habibi.
09:24You're adorable, buddy.
09:25How old are you?
09:26Almost 12.
09:27Almost 12?
09:28So you're 11.
09:32There's so many kids here, huh?
09:34You guys don't give a shit.
09:36He loves me.
09:37I love him too, but he can watch me on YouTube.
09:41What's your name?
09:42Micah.
09:43Where are you from?
09:44What's your background?
09:46You're asking your mom?
09:47She didn't tell you?
09:51Tell me the truth.
09:52Your mom's a liar.
09:53Tell me.
09:53Tell me exactly where you're.
09:55What country?
09:57Filipino and Persian.
09:58Filipino, half Filipino, half Persian.
10:01That's so beautiful.
10:04Well, now I'm really happy you're here.
10:07What is your mom was going to tell you?
10:09She was going to teach you some lying, yeah?
10:12Is your mom Persian?
10:14Yeah, that's why she interfered in our conversation.
10:18See, me and you are having a conversation.
10:20It's very rude for somebody to go,
10:21let me tell you where you're from.
10:22Don't tell him everything.
10:24There are other people here.
10:26They're going to find out a lot about our family.
10:28Don't say everything.
10:30Tell him you're also from Mexico.
10:33He would never know.
10:34He's a stupid comedian.
10:36Tell him you're Mexican and then say hola.
10:41Because here at hola, he would never know the difference.
10:46I love that you're an honest man.
10:48You're going to grow up to be a good man, yeah?
10:51Half Filipino, half Persian.
10:53That's a very balanced mix, yeah?
10:56You are very lucky.
10:58You know that?
10:58You probably don't have so much hair.
11:00You're going to be very balanced.
11:01Just enough.
11:04Filipino, look at your dad.
11:05He looks like a penguin.
11:06This is fantastic.
11:07No hair on your father.
11:09Look how sexy that dad looks.
11:11He's just like, slip and slide.
11:13Look at your mom.
11:14She just shaved her mustache.
11:16This is a fantastic mix.
11:20You're the luckiest 11-year-old in this audience.
11:23You understand?
11:24Tell him I never had a mustache.
11:28I mazed it off.
11:29It never came back.
11:31I don't shave.
11:33I don't shave.
11:35Tell her it's okay, mommy.
11:40What are you doing?
11:42It's my birthday.
11:44What?
11:44It's my birthday.
11:46Oh my God.
11:48That's beautiful.
11:50Happy birthday, sweetheart.
11:52What I love, birthday girl.
11:55Everybody in this room should have that energy right there.
11:58I swear.
12:03Do you do a lot of drugs?
12:08Three shots?
12:09Two shots.
12:11I have a baby at home.
12:12You do?
12:14Who's taking care of your baby?
12:16Her dad.
12:17Okay.
12:18All of us are moms.
12:20All of you guys are moms.
12:22Guess who doesn't give a shit?
12:27Do me a favor.
12:28Don't fall off the balcony, okay?
12:31We don't want to have your birthday and your funeral at the same time.
12:38Look at that dress.
12:39Oh my God.
12:42Wow.
12:45Lady, what a beautiful dress.
12:47You look like a chandelier.
12:51My God.
12:53You thought this is a Maximini wedding?
13:00That's your daughter?
13:01Daughter, how old are you?
13:03Fifteen.
13:04Fifteen.
13:05My God.
13:05What's your name?
13:08She's Iran, but my father's from Hong Kong, from China.
13:11Really?
13:13Oh, that's beautiful.
13:15Your father is Chinese, your mom's Persian, and you're perfect.
13:22That's incredible.
13:25That's adorable.
13:27Very nice to meet you, Elizabeth.
13:29You're a very special, very, very beautiful human.
13:32You know why?
13:33Because you come from two different backgrounds.
13:35And I love this.
13:36I really love mixed kids.
13:37First of all, any race mixed with Chinese comes out beautiful.
13:45Elizabeth, where is your dad?
13:48About here.
13:49You guys are separated?
13:50Yeah, but where is he?
13:52At home, but he's a girlfriend.
13:54Oh, yeah, he's got a girlfriend, too?
13:57What a player, huh?
14:01They have one dollar?
14:04They have one dollar?
14:05Oh, okay.
14:06So, she's my house is married.
14:08You know, sometimes, you know, my parents are separated, too.
14:11My parents are divorced.
14:12When you get married, you'll be very experienced.
14:16Because you have a better marriage.
14:18Your mom, really, gosh.
14:19Um, you'll do a lot better, you know?
14:26I have one older brother.
14:28You also have an older brother?
14:29What marriage is that one from?
14:35Elizabeth, you are the most brilliant 15-year-old ever.
14:39I really enjoyed this conversation.
14:42You're really fun.
14:43Tell me more about your family.
14:55My mom, she's so funny.
14:58If she wants me to do something, she'll do whatever it takes for it to happen.
15:03Like, she's very persistent, my mom.
15:05You know, I was coming back from D.C.
15:08and the TSA got me because I had eye cream in my bag.
15:13Now, it wasn't mine.
15:14My mom had shoved it in there.
15:17The conversation was like, would you like some eye cream?
15:19I'm like, no, I don't use eye cream.
15:21And she goes, why not?
15:24You look like a lizard.
15:30Thank you, Mom.
15:32But I don't want eye cream.
15:35And I go to the airport.
15:37And the TSA is not nice, man.
15:40These ladies that work there are, sir, sir, sir.
15:45Yes?
15:46You have eye cream, sir?
15:50I'm like, yeah.
15:51Oh, my God.
15:51I said my mom put it in my bag.
15:53It's illegal, sir.
15:54And she was yelling at me so much.
15:56It made me like, I was like, again, I'm like, let's have fun with this.
16:00I was like, illegal?
16:02Ma'am, what am I going to do with a eye cream?
16:05What do you do with a eye cream?
16:06Am I going to get on the plane and scream at everybody?
16:09Hey!
16:10Today, I'm going to moisturize everybody in here.
16:17Captain, you look like a lizard.
16:23What am I?
16:24So she's like, you cannot take this through.
16:26And I was just like, I'm going to take it through.
16:29I took the whole eye cream.
16:31I put it in my hand.
16:40Walked through that metal detector like a man.
16:44Took a selfie on the other side.
16:47Hashtag lizard man.
16:50Send it to my mom.
16:55Clap if you're single.
16:56Let me see how many single people you have.
16:57Clap, clap, clap.
16:59You guys are single?
17:01That's your mom?
17:02What a cool mother clapping for being single.
17:04You're gorgeous, mom.
17:06I say, who's single?
17:07Mom claps so hard.
17:08Mom, how old are you?
17:1084 years old.
17:11Clapping for a new boyfriend.
17:1384, baby.
17:17Love you, mom.
17:19Age is just a number.
17:22Her spirit is so young.
17:24Her spirit is so young.
17:24She's like, let's go to comedy.
17:25I want to laugh and find a new boyfriend.
17:29I love you.
17:31Good for you, mom.
17:32Good for you.
17:33Who else is single?
17:34Clap.
17:34This guy is single.
17:35These guys.
17:36Who else?
17:36Clap, clap.
17:37Let me see.
17:38This guy.
17:39Oh, those two are very single.
17:41This one is single.
17:42Guy, how old are you?
17:4446.
17:44Okay, I got somebody for you.
17:46Mom, 46.
17:48Fantastic right there.
17:49Nah, he's too old?
17:51You, you're too old.
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