00:00What's your name, sir?
00:01Thaddeus.
00:02Darius?
00:03Thaddeus.
00:05Thaddeus.
00:06Thaddeus.
00:09Thaddeus.
00:10Thaddeus?
00:12Okay, and where are you from?
00:14Virginia.
00:15Virginia.
00:16I've never heard a name.
00:19Thaddeus.
00:19It's a Greek god.
00:21Oh, really? It's a Greek god?
00:23No, look at me.
00:25You look like a Greek god.
00:27And are you Greek?
00:29No.
00:33You're so white, you're like,
00:34I need something interesting.
00:37I need to change my name to Various.
00:40I like it.
00:41That's your lady with you?
00:43Nice to meet you, darling.
00:44What's your name?
00:45Stacy.
00:46Stacy?
00:47Oh, you're so beautiful.
00:48Thanks for coming.
00:50Do you guys work for Ice?
00:58I should ask.
01:01It's a safety thing to be here.
01:04It's very rare.
01:06I have two super white, white, extra white, transparent white, various type of white.
01:15And comes to a ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
01:17-ha-ha.
01:18All the way from Virginia.
01:21I'm very happy you're here.
01:23Even if you kick us all out of the country.
01:30Hong Kong?
01:32Thank you for coming.
01:33You're f***ing up the trades.
01:35But it's good to have you.
01:38Hong Kong.
01:39That's very cool.
01:40Look at how the white guy is looking.
01:41You're like, f***.
01:42We have a...
01:44Buddy, that's awkward.
01:46You're like...
01:47The way you turn around and you're like...
01:50Hong Kong?
01:53Did you buy something that you're trying to return?
01:55And you're like...
01:58Maybe she can take it with her to Hong Kong.
02:03That's so nice of you.
02:04Very curious white man.
02:05I like that.
02:06Or you just...
02:07You have Asian fetish.
02:09Which one?
02:09Hong Kong.
02:11Hong Kong.
02:13I love you.
02:14What's your name?
02:15Ben.
02:15Ben?
02:16Nice to meet you.
02:17And your lovely lady?
02:19Right here.
02:19Oh, it's this one.
02:20Not that one.
02:22So you happen to sit next to two white ladies.
02:25Because Ticket Masters just sits people by color.
02:30Ben.
02:31And lovely lady?
02:35Tonya.
02:36You can't be this shy.
02:38Linda, you can't do this.
02:39Your husband turned around.
02:41You're made out with the Asian girl behind her.
02:44I said, Hong Kong.
02:45He went...
02:48And I'm asking your name.
02:50Do you...
02:52Do you...
02:54Do you...
02:55Do you...
02:55Do you...
02:56Do you...
02:57So you're dating Ben.
02:59Congratulations.
03:00I mean, she's gorgeous.
03:02She's Ukrainian.
03:04She's young.
03:05She's hot.
03:07And you're from Virginia.
03:11Where are you from?
03:13Germany.
03:14Germany?
03:14How long ago did you move to the U.S.?
03:171951.
03:191951.
03:27Tonya.
03:29You did good.
03:34And Ben, congratulations.
03:38At age 158.
03:41You're doing fantastic.
03:43I mean, the fact that you can get it up.
03:47I wish I was German.
03:54Oh, shit.
03:59Are you kidding me?
04:06Oh, my God.
04:09This is so beautiful.
04:12You fucked me up.
04:14I was trying to destroy you and your husband.
04:19I was coming with, like, oh, oh, thank you.
04:23This is so beautiful.
04:24Oh, you have a card.
04:30Oh, you wrote this?
04:32Are you guys married?
04:33Not married, thank God.
04:38They wrote me a beautiful card.
04:40Your gift for turning everyday moments into pure hilarity is truly extraordinary.
04:46Thank you for the laughter, energy, and unforgettable memories, and the big dick energy you bring to our house.
04:56Your presence lights up every room, and your rare ability to bring joy through humor makes us feel lucky to
05:06have experienced it.
05:08In times, when smiles are needed most, you gave us many, and showed how powerful laughter can be.
05:18Thank you for sharing your talent with the world.
05:22We're excited to see you and see what's next.
05:25Please, let us know, what's your OnlyFans account.
05:33This is so beautiful.
05:35Really, really, I'm shocked you did this.
05:37I'm serious.
05:42I'll put it here.
05:44I'll put it like this.
05:45It looks like it's my funeral flowers.
05:53I mean, this is so interesting that you did this.
05:57You're Mexican, and he's Indian.
06:01And together, you put your thoughts together.
06:04And you bought such an expensive flower.
06:08Indians don't do this shit.
06:17You know that conversation?
06:19Oh, we need to give him some flowers.
06:21Okay, we'll get one flower.
06:23Really good.
06:24One more than enough.
06:27Honey, we need to get a lot of flowers.
06:29Like a nice bouquet.
06:31I don't know.
06:32What is he going to do with it?
06:35I'm really grateful, man.
06:37Really, really grateful.
06:40And who are you here with?
06:42No, nobody.
06:43Just me.
06:43You just came by yourself?
06:45Oh, that's so sweet.
06:47You're alone tonight?
06:50Aw.
06:51And you're in the process of divorce?
06:53Yep.
06:54And you came to laugh and get it off your chest?
06:57F***ing love you, dude.
06:59This is incredible.
07:03That's incredible.
07:05Good for you.
07:07And what are you going to do?
07:08Are you going to go on a dating app?
07:10I'm on a dating app.
07:11You're on a dating app already?
07:14This guy, every day I've been swiping.
07:18That's good.
07:18Good for you.
07:20Where are my single people at?
07:21Clap.
07:21Let me see where are my single people at?
07:24That's it.
07:24Single people.
07:25Clap.
07:25Let me see where are my single people at?
07:28Okay.
07:29Over here.
07:29Single.
07:30How long?
07:32All my life.
07:33All your life?
07:36Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
07:38And how old are you?
07:49How old are you?
07:52Now we know why he got divorced.
07:55He didn't even hesitate.
07:58The divorce guy immediately.
08:03Unbelievable.
08:05Oh, my God.
08:07Well, how old are you?
08:0944.
08:10Not you, f***er.
08:17He's ready to go.
08:20Papers are not even done yet.
08:26Exactly twice your age.
08:30Who did you come here with tonight?
08:32My parents.
08:33Your parents?
08:40Your dad is younger than your future boyfriend.
08:50You know why you're single, honey?
08:53Because of these two f***ers right next to you.
08:56These parents are the reason you're single.
08:59You're 22.
09:00You never had a boyfriend.
09:02Like, yeah, but it was a joke.
09:03Yeah, yeah.
09:04You got to find a nice person.
09:06Don't let guys like this guy trick you.
09:11Okay?
09:11This is Max Amini's show.
09:14This is Max to the love.
09:16You don't fall for the...
09:17This is a disaster situation.
09:20He didn't come here to laugh.
09:22This f***er came up to pick somebody up tonight.
09:27He's hunting, like, with f***ing...
09:36Gambia, you're married to the Hong Kong lady?
09:40Get the f*** out of here.
09:44African and Chinese.
09:47Wow.
09:48Congratulations.
09:50How long have you guys been together?
09:52Four years.
09:53Four years?
09:54Fourteen.
09:55Fourteen years?
09:56Wow.
09:58How many kids?
10:00Four kids?
10:02Brother, you started an African village here in DC.
10:08Are the kids more Asian-looking or African-looking?
10:11No, we don't know much about that.
10:13Girl, what is the length of that?
10:15From different...
10:16From different...
10:17Ah.
10:17So you have two kids.
10:19She has two kids.
10:21Two different...
10:21Okay, okay.
10:22Don't clap.
10:23Relax.
10:24Why are you getting so nervous?
10:26Okay, let's move on.
10:28This is just getting juicy.
10:32Your ex-husband.
10:34Was he Chinese?
10:35Bolivia.
10:36Bolivia?
10:37Oh, you like just f*** around with the black people in New Mexico.
10:40Nice, girl.
10:42I see how you're doing it.
10:43And then you were married too?
10:45An African?
10:46Yeah?
10:47Two kids?
10:49Two.
10:49And fourteen years.
10:50So you pretty much raised each other's kids.
10:52My God.
10:53And how did you guys meet?
10:56At work?
10:57Where do you guys work?
10:58At a refugee camp?
11:05What?
11:06I love how a bunch of refugees go ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
11:10Which camp did you guys meet at?
11:14The Germans love that joke.
11:19Then pretend that was not funny.
11:22What type of work were you guys doing?
11:25Massage partner.
11:26Oh, s***.
11:29The Greek God found that hilarious.
11:33Stacy.
11:34He goes out for massages.
11:36I promise you.
11:37F***ing guy.
11:38Happy ending.
11:39Comes out with a fortune cookie in his pocket.
11:41Watch this f***er.
11:43She said banking.
11:44She said banking.
11:45That's really cool, man.
11:47Oh.
11:48My funeral.
11:50Flowers fell.
11:53You should've bought like a stand for this.
11:56You know?
11:57It came with a stand.
11:58Indian comes out.
11:59No, don't buy this stand.
12:00F*** it.
12:01You should've got flowers.
12:04You did make a stand.
12:08Chinese and African.
12:10You guys should have a kid.
12:12Ninja will come out like the kid.
12:15Black Ninja will come out.
12:21You too, Ben.
12:23You should have a kid.
12:24With Tonya.
12:26F***ing, she would give birth to Yoda.
12:32Ben fell asleep.
12:34Ben, wake the f*** up.
12:36F***ing, Ben.
12:37Ben slept.
12:38Look at what the f*** happened.
12:41Don't say nothing.
12:43Don't say nothing.
12:53What did you fell asleep?
12:56I love you.
13:00Ben, you fell asleep.
13:03Don't fall asleep in my show, man.
13:10The guy next to you, he's also Italian?
13:12Yeah?
13:13You're also Italian?
13:14Oh, this is nice.
13:15What's your name?
13:16In here.
13:17In here.
13:20It's so cool.
13:22With your mustache.
13:23It's so cool.
13:24So cool.
13:25So beautiful.
13:26You're a very good looking man.
13:27What kind of underwear you wear?
13:30You wear a thong.
13:33With a spaghetti string between your ass.
13:36You're very cool.
13:38You're very cool, huh?
13:39I like Italian.
13:40You want some coffee?
13:42Some coffee in the middle of the show.
13:44Oh, I love these Italians.
13:47And darling, what's your name?
13:49Valentina.
13:50Valentina.
13:52Valentina.
13:54You know my name?
13:56Maxina.
13:59What are you doing in Washington, D.C.?
14:03What the f*** are you doing?
14:09Hard of hearing this guy.
14:11You're young.
14:12You cannot hear.
14:13What do you do?
14:14I make music.
14:15I'm a DJ.
14:16You make music.
14:16This is amazing.
14:21That's your full-time job?
14:23You're that good?
14:25Wow, what kind of music?
14:27Electronic music house music.
14:28Electronics house?
14:31Spaghetti.
14:34Okay, what about you, sweetie?
14:36What do you do?
14:36I'm an aesthetician.
14:38Aesthetician.
14:38So you're the breadwinner.
14:44Then went home.
14:48Oh, that guy was so sweet.
14:50So wait a minute.
14:51He was with that girl.
14:52With the lady next to her.
14:54You pretended that you were his girl?
14:57Even though his wife was here?
15:01She was also...
15:02You Ukrainians are so nice, you're like,
15:04okay, I'll be the butt of the joke.
15:08He goes, this is my lady.
15:10I think he had Alzheimer's.
15:11He had no idea who he came out with.
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