00:00I have three black people in the front.
00:01They're like, what the f*** is happening, man?
00:03I'm Georgia.
00:04Oh, you're not?
00:05What are you?
00:06I'm Dutch.
00:07You're Dutch?
00:08Hold on one second.
00:11Damn, bro, you still look black.
00:15She's like, I'm Dutch.
00:16You know, I'm actually the ancestors of Michael Jackson.
00:22Michael was also Dutch.
00:27Mixed with Dutch and Indonesia.
00:29Were you sitting next to the black guy?
00:30I thought you were black.
00:31I'm just saying.
00:33Somehow, you have some black in you.
00:43Congratulations.
00:46There's a lot of people here.
00:47They wish they had some black in them, too.
00:52Well, for you, tonight's going to be a comedy show and a workshop.
00:57A lot of Moroccan people and Iran.
00:59Oh, really?
01:00Oh, really?
01:01Netherlands, very, very mixed, yeah?
01:03My dad was Muslim.
01:04Your dad was Muslim?
01:06Is that why you're taking a revenge on your dad with a black guy?
01:12Daddy, this one's for you.
01:20So, how long you been in March in D.C.?
01:22I lived in the States for 33 years.
01:2533 years.
01:25You like it here?
01:27Not really.
01:27Not really?
01:29I don't blame you.
01:30I was here for you.
01:31You just hear for him saying, you love him so much that you put up with America for 33 years.
01:38Wow, that's true love.
01:41True love.
01:43Or better say, black dick.
01:47Black dick keeps you in America for 33 years.
01:53That's unbelievable, America.
01:57Good for you.
01:59Good for you.
01:59We love you.
02:01You were the most fun person so far.
02:05Maximini shot and killed outside of Washington, D.C. Lizard Auditorium.
02:12There was an extra-large Magnum condom on his chest.
02:20Sally, are you here by yourself tonight?
02:23Oh, how sweet of you.
02:25You came to see my show.
02:26That's so nice.
02:27How did you discover the Chachach comedy?
02:33Your dad bought it?
02:34Your dad?
02:35Your Chinese father?
02:37Did he hack into the system?
02:43He lives in Vancouver.
02:44He came to my show in Vancouver.
02:46He didn't?
02:48It's a Chinese drama.
02:51Like, here, honey, you go.
02:53My ticket, you go.
02:55And Sally goes, okay, fine.
02:56I go, dad.
02:58Sally, you're so sweet.
02:59So you had no idea, like, what kind of show you're getting into?
03:03No?
03:03You didn't even bother to look me up?
03:07You just took the ticket and you showed up?
03:09F*** you, Sally.
03:12I thought this was a special connection.
03:15I thought one Chinese girl...
03:17I have one Chinese fan.
03:18She's like, oh my God, I love him so much.
03:19I'll go by myself.
03:20No.
03:21I didn't even look at my dad.
03:22Gave me a ticket.
03:22I'm not f***ing like that.
03:24I'm just here to make my dad happy.
03:27Any other Chinese here tonight?
03:29Ah, I have two Chinese here.
03:31Sally, I'll be right back, yeah?
03:34Hi.
03:35Hi.
03:37Nice to see some real Chinese people.
03:41What's your name, buddy?
03:42Ha.
03:44Ha.
03:45His name is Ha.
03:47Sally.
03:49Sweetheart, what's your name?
03:52Yeah.
03:52Yeah.
03:55Sally.
03:56Ha.
03:57And yeah.
03:59From China.
04:03Shishan.
04:03Shishan.
04:04Shishan.
04:05What are you guys doing to DC?
04:08I came from New York.
04:09You came from New York to see me?
04:12And you bought the tickets yourselves?
04:14Ha.
04:15Yeah.
04:16Bought the tickets by themselves to see me.
04:20And you're Chinese?
04:21And what did you have for lunch?
04:24Orange chicken.
04:24Orange chicken?
04:27You ate it with chopstick?
04:29What the f***ing?
04:31Ah.
04:33Yeah.
04:34Ah.
04:39Russia.
04:39Russia.
04:40Russia.
04:40Pleasure, my buddy.
04:41Who are you here with?
04:43With my mom.
04:44With your mom?
04:45Wow.
04:46What a nice son you are.
04:47This is your mom?
04:48No, no.
04:49My mom's son.
04:49Your mom's sitting somewhere else?
04:51What a s*** son you are.
04:55You take the third row?
04:56You give your mom the tenth row?
04:59Just you and mommy came out?
05:01Just us, yeah.
05:02Just you two.
05:03And how old are you?
05:0414.
05:0514?
05:06Oh my God.
05:07You're so young, buddy.
05:10You don't look for it.
05:11You look like an adult.
05:12So you snuck in?
05:14Yeah?
05:15The show is 18 and over.
05:18Only a Russian spy can get in.
05:24Oh.
05:25I am 28.
05:29Leo, what a nice guy you are.
05:31You hang out with your mommy.
05:33This is so nice.
05:33Mom, what's your name?
05:36Oh my God.
05:37That's your mom?
05:40Hi, Mom.
05:43Please come sit here.
05:48What's your name, Mom?
05:50I'm not his mom.
05:51Huh?
05:52I'm not talking to you, bitch.
05:54I'm talking...
05:56Are you trying to say I'm cross-thigh or some s***?
06:00I'm looking at the hot-ass blonde, row 12, third seat,
06:06and the guy next to her has got a hard-on.
06:08Sir, take it easy.
06:12Sorry, Mom.
06:13I'm cock-blocker, row four.
06:17Darling, what's your name?
06:19Lana.
06:20Pleasure.
06:21Thank you so much for bringing Leo to the show.
06:24This is really nice.
06:25And you're such a great mother.
06:27You were like, Leo, this is not appropriate for your age.
06:31But because I raised you such a mature man,
06:35I'm going to take you with Mommy to enjoy the best comedy show in the world.
06:39Sally.
06:43People smuggle kids into my show.
06:46This is history, what's happening right now.
06:50How long have you been living in America?
06:52Eight years.
06:53Eight years you've been living here.
06:55Okay, wonderful.
06:56Can I ask you a question?
06:58I'm just wondering, what is your relationship status?
07:04Just wondering.
07:06Divorced.
07:07First, I'm so sorry if you ever need somebody to talk to.
07:13I'm always here for you.
07:15I just want you to know.
07:17And currently, what is your strategy of dating?
07:20Are you on any dating apps?
07:24You're focusing on your son.
07:25When your son is a very mature grown-up, he doesn't need anything like this.
07:29It's time for him to move out of the house, if you ask me.
07:33I think it's time, Leo, to go get his own place.
07:39I'm more than happy to consult this topic with you.
07:44Okay, Lana.
07:45So, you're single, and you're such a kind mom
07:49that you sacrificed your life for your son, Leo.
07:53And I admire you for that.
07:55Leo, you're very lucky to have a mom
07:58who's cool, who's beautiful, who's amazing.
08:03And sincerely, I will tell you,
08:07you will be even more lucky
08:08if you have me as your stepfather.
08:15You've been single your whole life?
08:18How much subscription you pay for...
08:23Pornhub.
08:26So, you've never had a relationship?
08:28You've been masturbating the whole time?
08:31How old are you?
08:3324.
08:3424?
08:35Okay.
08:36So, who's the girl next to you?
08:37That beautiful black girl next to you?
08:40You don't know each other?
08:41Oh, shit.
08:42This is good.
08:47Sweetheart, what's your name?
08:48Hyatt.
08:49Hyatt?
08:49Like the hotel.
08:51Oh, okay.
08:52Like the hotel.
08:53Hyatt.
08:53Pleasure meeting you, yeah?
08:55Huh?
08:56I'm from Afghanistan.
08:57You're from Afghanistan.
08:58I'm talking to a lady.
09:00You never interrupt the conversation.
09:02This is why you're single your whole life.
09:10My brother, I'm having a conversation for you.
09:14Just wait.
09:15You're cock blocking yourself.
09:20Hyatt, I'm sorry.
09:22Sorry for the interruption.
09:23Just really quick.
09:24Are you single?
09:25Yes.
09:25Oh, my God.
09:27And you're gorgeous.
09:28You're beautiful.
09:30Brother, what do you do?
09:32I'm a software engineer.
09:33Software engineer.
09:35Okay.
09:35And what company do you work for?
09:37Bank of America.
09:38Bank of America.
09:42Not just any software engineer.
09:44He knows who's got how much money in their account right now.
09:50Habibi, I'm proud of you.
09:52Bank of America, software engineer.
09:5424.
09:55Good looking guy.
09:56Just never had an opportunity to find love and romance.
09:59And then, all of a sudden, Bank of America meets Hyatt Hotels.
10:07For my friend here, I want to tell you something.
10:12You've never been with any woman in your life before.
10:15And the first girl you're going to date is going to be a black girl.
10:22Not just any black girl.
10:25American.
10:26Holy shit, bro.
10:29You the luckiest mofo in the world.
10:34She's going to teach you shit.
10:36It'll take you two decades to learn.
10:42Oh, shit, dude.
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