00:00both of you from Romania my god you're twins one's pretty one's very ugly this
00:05is interesting what kind of twins one very pretty one's super ugly you know
00:11when the eggs like when that the thing happened you know one of the sperms
00:17one of the Romanian sperms was like just left one of the Romanian servers
00:24like World War II and then one one is like
00:36she's so beautiful the other twins so ugly it's okay just thank you for
00:42accepting it you know relax look at this guy they're identical twins that's why
00:48I make the joke she's just she they look exactly both ugly as shit
00:53they're both so ugly
00:59thank you for coming thank you so much we accept you no matter how ugly
01:06they're both gorgeous stand up so they see them they don't feel bad look how
01:09beautiful you're so gorgeous listen you're I love you I love you
01:15you're so hot I hope after this show we have a threesome I've never hooked up with a twin
01:24happy me happy Eid yeah did you fast
01:27you're still fasting buddy it's over it's Eid today
01:33it's haram if you fast on the day of Eid huh it's tomorrow for you who the fuck are you
01:44you have a special connection to Allah what you woke up you did your morning prayers God told you
01:51Eid is not today it's tomorrow we are all celebrating today
01:57no it's not for me today tomorrow
02:01do you know something we don't know all the Muslims are celebrating Eid
02:05you see everybody's celebrating today
02:10bring some food and water put it in his mouth
02:14security water in his
02:15so you don't think it's Eid today
02:20no all the Iraqis you guys are from Iraq
02:24what's your name Habib
02:25Isla did you break your fast today big mistake
02:31you destroyed the whole 30 days of fasting see one Habibi
02:35MashaAllah he knows the Eid
02:37he knew all the Islamic countries that were celebrating today they're wrong
02:40this one Habibi knows this way
02:44you didn't see the moon yesterday
02:49he said I didn't see the moon yesterday
02:52well Habibi you live in London it's cloudy as shit
02:58you're never gonna see the moon
03:05trust me celebrate Eid right now Habibi
03:12Bella thank you for coming by yourself that makes me very happy
03:15that's so nice what do you do are you a dancer
03:21that bag is not for
03:27really radiology in the radiology center you strip
03:35that's so fun
03:38can I come there and take a picture
03:42I would love for you to do my x-ray
03:45you'll find something amazing
03:49and are you single
03:50I'm actually a recent widow
03:52you're actually
03:53you're a recent widow
03:56aww
03:57give her a big round of applause for coming out
04:08oh my love
04:10you're so sweet
04:11I feel really guilty about the stripper joke I made about you
04:15I take it back
04:18aww
04:18Bella
04:27you're very sweet
04:29I love you
04:30I really love you
04:31and I wish you such an amazing rest of your life
04:36yeah
04:36because you never know what's gonna happen
04:40and I want you to live every moment to the fullest
04:43you made my night
04:45and the fact that somebody is going through such a hard time
04:49and they come to watch comedy
04:51it's very special
04:53you're so young
04:54you're so beautiful
04:55you should go out there
04:56and meet people
04:57and find love
04:58and have
04:59live life
05:00every day
05:01knowing
05:01that it's not a long journey
05:03we're all gonna go
05:04to the same place
05:05as your husband
05:06and where my dad is
05:07and everybody else
05:08who's lost a loved one
05:09they know
05:10life is fast
05:11so let's live it today
05:13because that's gonna make them happy
05:14yeah
05:18any other widows in the audience
05:21have a huge widow following
05:26what is the word for a man who loses his wife
05:29if a woman is a widow
05:30what is a man
05:32a widower
05:33a man who loses his wife is a widower
05:36I didn't know that
05:38you know why
05:39because men never complain when their wife dies
05:48what's your name
05:50Sanu
05:50Sanu
05:51Sanu
05:52Sanu
05:52you wanna make it
05:52D
05:54D
05:56spelling be champions
05:58I'm Iranian
05:59I'm not Indian
06:00E
06:01D
06:02B
06:02D
06:03D
06:03W
06:04D
06:04X
06:05Y
06:05Z
06:06D
06:07D
06:08P
06:08D
06:09Experience
06:10Garuba
06:10Kesegarraba
06:11Kesegarraba
06:12Kesegarraba
06:13Kesegarraba
06:13Thank you
06:15You guys are geniuses
06:16not me
06:18I want a singer
06:19She's a singer?
06:20I want a singer
06:21Do you sing like pop music?
06:22I can sing whatever you want me to sing
06:24No
06:26You're that good?
06:28You sounded Persian for a second
06:31I sing whatever you want
06:33I can sing anything
06:35Okay
06:35Do you want to sing tonight?
06:37Come on stage
06:38Come on stage
06:39Come on stage
06:43Come on
06:44Come on
06:48Come on
06:49Somebody else started singing before you get here
06:53This is straight up balling with somebody else
06:58Do this
06:59Okay come
07:03Wow
07:04Hi
07:06Nice to meet you
07:08Oh
07:09You're so cool
07:12Here's a microphone
07:14Sing an a cup of a song
07:16Oh love song
07:18Yes
07:19Yes
07:19Yes
07:22Lag jaag le
07:29Lag jaag
07:54So it's saying, this beautiful evening might not be there tomorrow, so give me a hug.
08:00Give me a hug.
08:13This is what I love about Indian music.
08:16It's so simple.
08:17The whole song, give me a hug, give me a hug.
08:23German, you're German.
08:25Oh, wow.
08:26What are you doing here?
08:28Building the city?
08:30Good to see you.
08:31Where are you from?
08:32Iran.
08:33Iranian.
08:34Also Iranian and German.
08:35This is wonderful balance.
08:37You have kids?
08:38No?
08:39How long have you been dating?
08:42Seven years?
08:43Seven years?
08:43That's a crime in my country.
08:47You know her parents are really, they hate your ass.
08:50Seven years?
08:51How many more years you're test driving?
08:56Seven years.
08:59It's eternity in our time.
09:02Okay.
09:02Usually you have seven days.
09:05Maybe.
09:06Hi.
09:07Shuligan.
09:08Hello.
09:09Viget.
09:11Shlibidish.
09:12Okay.
09:12Go marry.
09:13Go.
09:16Go.
09:17So what's the relationships?
09:18Yeah, you two together?
09:19Yeah?
09:19Where are you from?
09:22Go on.
09:23Go on.
09:23Go on.
09:23Russia.
09:24Russian.
09:25Look, he's already sensitive.
09:26Bro, bring it.
09:27I fuck you up.
09:29I will destroy you from here to Russia.
09:33Mother bitch, bring yourself to me, eh?
09:37Come to daddy.
09:40Nice.
09:41And what do you do in London?
09:42I kill people.
09:45I walk around.
09:47I don't like you.
09:47I kill you.
09:49I don't care.
09:51Don't like the way you look?
09:52Fuck you.
09:54I'm Alex, the assassin.
09:57What is it?
09:57You're a teacher?
09:58I'm a shooter.
09:59Nice, dude.
10:00What do you teach?
10:02How to kill people.
Comments