- 2 days ago
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00:04The more I love myself, the more I will be loved.
00:08The more I love myself, the more I will be loved.
00:12Today we hear of another kind of frontier, a strange alien place.
00:16I will be thin and fabulous, and I'll be second to the fullest.
00:21This is not my fat, it has followed me from another existence.
00:24This is not the fat of now.
00:25I will wear the green wheel.
00:32Think about thoughts away, find a happy place to go.
00:37I'm so glad to be me.
00:40The way that I've got to be.
00:42That's fantastic.
00:44Go on, Flip, let's hug, let's exchange auras.
00:46Flip!
00:47Flip, I'll find you.
00:52Flip up!
00:55I can't believe they ever saw you for that movie, you know.
00:58Flip up!
01:01Do you want this in there?
01:03What?
01:04Flip it in, sweetheart.
01:06Flip it in, sweetheart.
01:09You look so fast
01:20Mum?
01:21Oh, God, are you here?
01:22Think happy thoughts.
01:27What? What?
01:29When are you going to release that dolphin?
01:31Oh, darling, I rescued that dolphin!
01:33He gives me unconditional love.
01:36I mean, people pay thousands of pounds for that kind of therapy, darling.
01:39We exchange auras.
01:41I mean, he fills me with fish love and fish vibes
01:44and I fill him with...
01:45the car crash of emotions you call your life.
01:49Anyway, I'm in talks with Conran
01:50for a new three-level tank as the centrepiece
01:52at the Seafood Bar and Mezzo.
01:53All right.
01:55You feed him while I have my own patsy.
01:59Mum's just my acceptance.
02:00I know.
02:01He didn't get that swing from the customers
02:02at the Arshalamar and Malta, did he?
02:04Come on.
02:23Up, darling, up, get up, up, get up, get up, get up, get up!
02:25Wait, wait, wait, wait now, Eddie, wait.
02:27Good, good.
02:27Today's the day, darling.
02:28Look, well, there's air.
02:30But, Eddie, I'm not ready.
02:31I haven't packed.
02:32No, darling, the plane's been good for midday.
02:33Look, you've got a job to get before that, remember?
02:35Oh, do I have to?
02:35Come on, darling, think.
02:37You know, say, I'm young, I'm vibrant.
02:40I'm...
02:40I need a drink, Eddie.
02:42No, we need to find the child within, darling.
02:43No!
02:44Look, just get dressed and come over.
02:45Dress funky, all right?
02:47See you later.
02:47Cheers.
02:55It's a bit early for her, isn't it?
02:57Oh, darling, she'll do a good.
02:58She's been a bit low recently, perhaps.
02:59Low?
03:00She'd get vertigo in a sewer.
03:03Oh, I think it's sick.
03:04I mean, sick.
03:06Don't worry, it's just a bit of fin flop.
03:09Different one, though, does he?
03:10You're darling.
03:11Oh, oh, oh!
03:12Oh, oh, oh!
03:13Oh, oh, oh!
03:14Oh, oh, oh!
03:17Oh, oh, oh!
03:19Oh, oh, oh!
03:22Pshhh!
03:23Pshhh!
03:26Pshhh!
03:27Pshhh!
03:32Pshhh!
03:34Pshhh!
03:44torture shit!
03:46Pshhh!
04:02Now, Gran, you're going to the terminal.
04:04Sounds rather ominous, dear.
04:06You've got to pick up Mac and Millie and they'll be on the flight from Orlando.
04:09But where's it going to, we ask ourselves?
04:11Is that where they live now?
04:13Oh, no, dear.
04:14They're snowbirds.
04:15They follow the sun.
04:16They live in camper vans with 200 other old people.
04:21I haven't seen them since 1952.
04:23Are you sure you'll recognise them?
04:25Oh, yes, dear.
04:26I've got a snapshot of Mal and Millie taken about that time.
04:29I should be all right.
04:30I'll give you a sign to hold up.
04:32I've got one.
04:38Carly.
04:39Sweetie, have you seen my vibrating thing?
04:42By your bed, dear.
04:48No, my bleeper, my bleeper.
04:50This thing, my bleeper.
04:52It's fantastic, Miss Darling.
04:54I can get bleeped and get a miniature finger massage at the same time.
04:58Don't you dare threaten me with green peas, sweetie.
05:01They owe me a bumper stick of this organisation into existence, darling.
05:05What do you think this is?
05:05Free Willy.
05:07Was that a 60s thing, dear?
05:13Do something for him.
05:14Darling, I am doing something for him.
05:15He's already got a two-year tape deal with polygram and a tampon advert.
05:18What more could he want?
05:20I'll do the right thing, darling.
05:22Not the correct thing, sweetheart.
05:23The right thing.
05:25Might be wrong, but it's right.
05:26That's my motto, anyway.
05:27Oh, well, that's clear, then.
05:28It only applies to dolphins, not old women.
05:31I won't have any qualms about shoving a cork in your brief hell when the time comes.
05:37You'd better go, Gran.
05:39Yes, all right, dear.
05:39I'll see you later.
05:41Oh, dear.
05:41I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on.
05:43Yeah, well, that can be remedied.
05:47Passport.
05:47You don't need it.
05:48Are you sure, dear?
05:49I know that's right for Europe now, but I thought I'd read somewhere that you knew the passport.
05:53Shuffle up to shuffle town, old shuffle woman.
05:55Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.
05:59Oh, have you ever listened to this today, darling?
06:01Is this really a fall?
06:03I want to move to a more upbeat today, sweetheart.
06:05I wonder you're the way you are, you know, old glum glum.
06:09I've seen these moaning old gloomongers all day.
06:13The Arches, is it?
06:14And Collider Box.
06:15Is that what you want?
06:16That's not.
06:17All those feminist bleatings on women's hour.
06:20Oh, Jimmy, I still have to do the washing up.
06:23Jane, Jane, clink, clink.
06:24Well, get a dishwasher, woman.
06:25This is 1996.
06:26I'll just don't do it.
06:27What are they talking about?
06:28Hmm?
06:30In a change to our schedule, Edina Monsoon will be listening to this castaway on Desert
06:35Island Discs.
06:36No.
06:36No.
06:38Desert Discs?
06:39Is that Radio 4?
06:40Nobody told me that, darling.
06:41I thought FM was hip.
06:42You can't be on it.
06:44They wouldn't do you.
06:45They would.
06:45They would.
06:46Why didn't you tell me?
06:46It's my favourite programme.
06:48Why?
06:48Why you?
06:48These are in my field, darling.
06:50Someone must have dropped out.
06:51You'd better take the thermos.
06:53You never know.
06:54Fran, you'd better go or you'll miss them.
06:56Oh, we were never really that close, dear.
06:59Oh.
06:59You are.
07:00That'll be Patsy.
07:00Oh, no, no.
07:01It'll be Paolo.
07:02Hello.
07:08Let your boyfriend know.
07:11No cool reaction from Mother, darling.
07:13No cool reaction.
07:15We have quite a cool relationship now, don't we, darling?
07:18Slowly it happens.
07:20You're going to turn into me one day, you know.
07:24And you'll turn into me, dear.
07:30Yeah, well, I've got Dr. Euthanasia's home number for that event, sure.
07:37Hello.
07:39Oh, still no tongue.
07:41Mum!
07:44Please, sit down.
07:45She's going in a minute, don't worry.
07:46Yeah, I'm going in a minute, don't worry.
07:48I'm off.
07:48I'm out of here.
07:49Not hanging around.
07:50Sorry.
07:51Look at him.
07:52A bit of improvement on the last one, isn't it?
07:54The one he picked up in Covent Garden Piazza.
07:56Old clown face, bad breath and sandals, hey?
07:59I was jiggling his balls about.
08:02Maybe this one'll last, really, darling, hmm?
08:05Maybe this'll be the one to finally break the seal on that cat box.
08:07Mum!
08:10I check it regularly, you know.
08:12I worry about rubber rock.
08:13Stop it!
08:16Oh, is he French or something?
08:21I'm sorry about this.
08:22He's OK.
08:24Can I get you something?
08:25Yeah, can I have a coffee?
08:26Yes.
08:26I'll see if I can remember to do it the way you like it.
08:28Mm-hm.
08:31Are you very fond of that old cardigan?
08:33Oh, this is a new cardigan.
08:35Oh, is it?
08:35Yeah.
08:36Looks like viscous.
08:38Morning, lady.
08:39Morning, darling.
08:40What's this?
08:42Fabulous.
08:43Oh, is that fabulous?
08:43You look like a sad reject from Ready, Steady, Go.
08:47Darling, that is a very now look, the sad reject look.
08:53Actually, not this hair.
08:54Oh.
08:56Not that hair, darling.
08:57Not that hair.
08:57No, no.
08:59Anyway, today's the day we're off to Val d'Isere.
09:02Oh, I can't wait.
09:03Val d'Isere.
09:04Who was Val d'Isere, darling?
09:06French film star.
09:07Was it Val d'Isere, Desire?
09:08Mum, why are we suddenly getting all this mail?
09:11Well, it's because I've redesigned my office, darling.
09:12It's now a paper-free environment.
09:14You can email me or hook me up to the net.
09:16Very soon, darling, if it'll just be a virtual office.
09:17You bet she won't have to be there.
09:18I don't know.
09:20Hopefully.
09:21God, do you know that radio thing I did?
09:22Do you know about that thing, that radio desert discs thing?
09:25Yeah.
09:25You know, with Sue, what's it?
09:26Lumley.
09:30Lawley!
09:31Sue Lawley, yeah.
09:32Sue Lawley.
09:32That's Radio 4.
09:34No.
09:34Radio 4.
09:37I could do instant.
09:38No, thanks.
09:40I want to do something on the Millennium Committee.
09:42I want to do something called a Millennium.
09:45Do you think I should do that?
09:45Well, when is it?
09:51It doesn't say, darling.
09:52When is it?
09:52When is it?
09:53The Millennium?
09:54The year 2000.
09:55No, why aren't they bothering me now, eh?
09:59Anyway, I know exactly what they should do.
10:01Oh, what?
10:01Let me guess.
10:02A Free Stones concert in Hyde Park.
10:04No.
10:04No.
10:05No.
10:05A huge worldwide bacchanalian feast.
10:08They should just live it, darling.
10:09And a Free Stones concert.
10:10Yeah, and a Free Stones concert.
10:12Sorry.
10:13Sorry.
10:13No, it's okay.
10:14I'm here.
10:15You're talking to them.
10:16That's fine.
10:17No, I'm sorry.
10:18All right, darling.
10:18We'll go to the office and I can drop you your interview.
10:22Interview?
10:22I thought she just slept with the publisher.
10:24Even repelling magazine magnets nowadays, are you?
10:28Little menstruating budgery girl with us again, is she?
10:30Really?
10:31It's harder for Pats these days, darling.
10:33There's younger people coming out.
10:34No, not younger.
10:35Not younger.
10:35Not younger.
10:37No, it's the gay mafia.
10:39It's the gay mafia.
10:39It's the gay mafia.
10:40Come on, let's face it.
10:41You're past it.
10:42Sleeping with you must be akin to necrophilia.
10:49Never turn your back on her, you silly girl.
10:53Oh, come on, girls.
10:54Can we stop this now, please?
11:07What do you think of this one, Pats?
11:08Go away.
11:09He's too clever for you.
11:10Too small.
11:11I expect sex with him would be a rather localised experience.
11:17You know, Eddie, I've only got one rule in life and I've always kept to it.
11:19I've never slept with a man whose bum is bigger than mine.
11:21Oh, good.
11:21Yeah, neither have I.
11:23No, well, well, you know.
11:26Oh, it's smaller now.
11:28I've been in the gym, haven't I, darling?
11:29Could crack a peanut in these.
11:31I can blow smoke rings with mine.
11:33I know, I've seen them.
11:35Mind me to tell you about Lance Gregor's handlers?
11:40Oh, sorry.
11:41It's a cloth.
11:43It's a hand lift job.
11:44A hand job?
11:45No, not a hand job.
11:46A hand lift.
11:47You can't bend your fingers.
11:48Think crab claws.
11:49Think crab claws.
11:51Oh, I'm going to do this.
11:53I'm going to do this.
11:54Hang, hang, hang, hang, hang.
11:58Oh, that's nice.
11:58Hang, hang, hang.
11:59Still doing that, Eddie?
12:00Almost religiously, darling, yeah.
12:04Try this.
12:05Hmm?
12:06Oh.
12:09What is it?
12:10That's Elizabeth Taylor's recovery.
12:11It's only poking.
12:12Oh, yeah?
12:12I liked the last one.
12:13Dependency.
12:14I'm pushing a relapse at Christmas.
12:16Oh, yeah.
12:18It's just a shirt.
12:19No, it's not just a shirt.
12:20I've got to wear it tonight.
12:21You can hardly see it.
12:22No, it'll have to be washed.
12:24What are you wearing?
12:25It's just supper with your friends, isn't it?
12:27Show me what you're wearing tonight.
12:30It's, um...
12:32It's in my bedroom.
12:33Um, my mother's going away for a week.
12:36Uh-huh.
12:38So, uh...
12:39There won't be anyone here, and, uh...
12:43Do you want me to soak that?
12:44Yes, please.
12:54They haven't done it, you know.
12:56I don't think she's ever done it.
12:58She can't be that unattractive, is she?
13:00She is a virgin in a world where men will even turn to soft fruit for pleasure.
13:04I'm sure you're in your conclusions.
13:05I can't.
13:07Do you remember your first time, darling?
13:09You know, it's all a blank with me until 1968.
13:12Oh, yeah.
13:13I remember mine.
13:15Oh?
13:16What did you feel?
13:17I was grateful, really, you know.
13:19Why?
13:20Well, because you were always on my back.
13:23I don't think I'd remember that.
13:26Well, put the radio on.
13:27I'm on that desert disc.
13:29It's Radio 4.
13:29So, on a desert island, without those friends, how...
13:32How would you cope?
13:34What?
13:35Just on my own?
13:35Mm-hmm.
13:36Are you mad?
13:38I'm doing this because I want to, not because you asked me.
13:41Okay, good.
13:42I don't need your permission.
13:43Good, okay, well done.
13:44And I don't need your approval.
13:46No.
13:47How's this?
13:49Um...
13:49I think you'd better do it again.
13:56I've got to move.
13:57Well, you have flood bins, why?
13:58Yeah, well, they're going to expand.
14:00They're going to make a separate section for spirits.
14:01It's a very good idea.
14:03Where are you going to go?
14:05Well, I was wondering, um...
14:07Yeah, well, there's loads of odd bins.
14:08That's a great thing, isn't it?
14:09There's loads of odd bins.
14:10What's the point is that?
14:10Yeah, but they're not all in good areas, aren't they?
14:12I'm on the radio.
14:13Shh!
14:14Tell me about your next recording, Dina, because it's an unusual one, isn't it?
14:16Uh, yeah.
14:17Yeah, it is soon.
14:18Um, I first heard this one on the Armani advert, and I liked it because I really like it stuff.
14:22I think it's great.
14:22It's a wine warehouse.
14:32Can you speed yourself up?
14:33No.
14:34Speed up.
14:35Yeah.
14:35Right there.
14:37Let's go for the miters.
14:40Hello.
14:42Damn.
14:44It's my bleeper, darling.
14:45I'm expecting a call from Bubble.
14:46Look after me.
14:47It's a vibrator.
15:08Look on, they've been here again.
15:09It's looking the weight, sorry.
15:14Oh, family, and self-fulfillment, and friends, and, you know, children.
15:18Oh, for which matters...
15:19To her, children are just part of the sentence.
15:21So tell me about your next record.
15:23Um, well, I'm thinking, have we had enough of Lulu?
15:25Um, well, three of her records.
15:28Have we?
15:28Have we?
15:29She's got a wonderful back catalogue, though, you see.
15:32Sad.
15:33Mm?
15:33Lulu's here.
15:33You shouldn't buy all this in tins, really.
15:35Oh.
15:35Come here.
15:40Go to Luigi's.
15:41You know the place I told you about?
15:42Oh, get the fresh ones with garlic.
15:43They're much nicer.
15:45Well...
15:45Try that.
15:48What do you think?
15:49Delicious.
15:50No.
15:50Ugh.
15:57You're so oppressive.
15:59Am I?
16:00Since when was teaching oppressive?
16:02If I teach you something, am I oppressing you?
16:05Darling?
16:09Oh, you're so oppressive.
16:10Cuffs, cuffs.
16:11Corous cuffs.
16:13Corous cuffs.
16:13Side sleeve.
16:14Corous cuffs.
16:15Side sleeve.
16:18Corous cuffs.
16:35Corous cuffs.
16:39You'd be quick at walking.
16:41Are you mad?
16:42I've just walked five miles back there.
16:44I've done my walking.
16:45Is it in the Caribbean?
16:47How's it bubble call?
16:48That's my bleeper.
16:49Have you got my bleeper?
16:50Where is it?
16:50I'll probably be all right.
16:54How did it get down there, darling?
16:58Bleeper.
17:00You should pull it.
17:02Yeah, repeatably.
17:03I'll keep it now.
17:04I don't want it now.
17:06You're going to want it now.
17:16I don't want it now.
17:20What is it?
17:21What is this?
17:21King's Road?
17:22Yeah.
17:22Yeah.
17:23I mean, there's no senior anymore, eh?
17:24It's like some old high street, isn't it?
17:27It's been fantastic, but you know.
17:29It's all so drab now.
17:31I don't know if it's so gloomy.
17:32Gloomy.
17:34Gloomy.
17:34Gloomy.
17:34Gloomy.
17:36Come on, everybody.
17:37Cheer up.
17:38It's sweet.
17:39Sex is fun.
17:40You know, meniscus, just cheeky.
17:42It's working.
17:43You can take drugs and be happy, you know.
17:45Sex is fun.
17:50Where's bubble?
17:51She's editing French Vogue this week, so...
17:54She showed you the ropes.
17:56The?
17:56The ropes, you know.
17:57Ah.
17:58Hello?
18:00Is that the sort of thing?
18:02Yeah, well, that's a rope.
18:04Right down, Abyssalis.
18:06Why am I hindered at every time?
18:08Shall I slap her?
18:09No.
18:09Look.
18:10What?
18:10They discovered a new weather girl.
18:13No.
18:14God, are they breeding them somewhere?
18:15Is there a secret island somewhere just breeding these little anarchas and tanyas and auricas?
18:19I don't know, they sort of possibly blonde young girls in thin-strap mini-dresses with these shiny, shiny, shiny
18:25faces.
18:26How do I get their faces that shiny?
18:27Rubbing themselves on the front of cricketers' trousers?
18:31I don't very strict themselves to cricketers, do I?
18:33No, don't do settle down, darling.
18:34You've got to go.
18:35Come on.
18:35Come on.
18:35Go out of here.
18:36Oh, you're foul.
18:36Vowel is there.
18:37No, the interview, darling.
18:38The interview.
18:39What have you prepared?
18:40Come on.
18:40Well, I thought it's been a terrific year for the trans-seasonal trouser.
18:44Yes, it's a hip-happening dude to me.
18:45It was another record from the 60s.
18:49Was that perhaps the time when you were really at your happiest?
18:52No, no, I'm a very now-person.
18:54Are you?
18:56Yeah.
18:57Okay, come on.
18:58Hit me with what's happened in 1996.
19:01Oh, well.
19:04You've had some really lovely messages from some really sweet people.
19:09Jane Asher called about her cake book.
19:11Look, Terrence Stamp wants to send you his latest range of vegetable crepes.
19:17Cresps?
19:18Sorry.
19:19Linda McCartney's launching some sausages.
19:22Charlotte Radcliffe's looking.
19:25Look, look.
19:33Michael Caine's opening a new eatery.
19:36Lovely.
19:37Lovely.
19:38When it comes to being lucky, he's a person.
19:42Dricky says she can't wait, beloved.
19:46But when it comes to being lucky, he's a person.
19:51Who's Christians doing a film in Albemarle?
19:54About goods?
19:54Gee.
19:55Baby, I know the first.
19:58And Sandy Shaw can't help.
20:15You think that as a woman I have no self-determination?
20:18It's only you as a man can give me what I want.
20:21Could you pass the starch?
20:22I think it's good that you're a feminist.
20:24As if you know what that means.
20:26If you it means anyone who isn't a doormat or a prostitute,
20:28you have to categorise women as this or that.
20:31Well, I don't want to be seen as some sex object.
20:34I don't think of you as a sex object.
20:37Don't you?
20:38Are you sure?
20:39It's never crossed my mind.
20:41Well, that's good.
20:42Because my sexuality is mine to give, not yours to take.
20:45Anyway, that's not the point.
20:46You see women as either whores...
20:48Or goddesses.
20:49As mistresses and jezebels.
20:51Or brides and mothers.
20:52Then you just want control,
20:53and we must bear the burden of the passive destiny.
20:56Saffy, will you marry me?
20:59Yes.
21:04We'll be here for trans-seasonal travel.
21:12Yes.
21:14Oh, I'm so happy.
21:16Do you think mum will be happy?
21:17I know she'll be happy, but are you happy?
21:19Oh, yes.
21:20He...
21:20We want to get married quite soon.
21:22Oh.
21:22Oh, no, no, no, nothing like that.
21:26You do like him, don't you?
21:27Oh, I think he's great.
21:29He is great.
21:30Especially when you really get to know him.
21:32And he just likes me for what I am.
21:34Darling, darling, watch for me, darling.
21:35Watch for me.
21:40It's all right.
21:41It's all right.
21:41I'm here.
21:42There's nothing to worry about.
21:43It's for a moment.
21:45You.
21:46Why will you never fully relegate yourself to my past, huh?
21:49I'm here for a special reason.
21:51Oh, what, what, what?
21:52I think I'd better sit down.
21:53What, darling, what, darling?
21:55Shush of the pieces yodelling to me now.
21:57It's Patsy.
21:58Mum.
21:58Mum.
22:00Fantastic, darling.
22:01I'm very ready.
22:02How's it going today, hmm?
22:03Oh, I think they must have moved offices or something.
22:05Oh, no.
22:06We're off to Valdezern.
22:08Yeah.
22:08Off onto the pages of Hello magazine.
22:11Vogue diary, International Champagne Jet Set.
22:14Mum, Paolo's asked me to marry him and I said yes.
22:19She's getting married.
22:21That's you taking care of.
22:23That's you out of the way, aren't you, isn't it?
22:24Come on, Eddie, let's go.
22:25Oh, come on, say something.
22:26Don't try and entwine her in all this.
22:29She's getting married.
22:30She's getting married.
22:31Aren't you happy for me?
22:32Yes, I'm very happy.
22:35Why is it, darling?
22:37Why is it every time I clear a space for myself,
22:39you have to pathologically fill it again?
22:42What?
22:43Oh, when, when, when are you getting married?
22:44Soon.
22:45Well, then you won't be able to be here.
22:46Come on.
22:47But you've got to be there.
22:48You're the mother of the bride.
22:49Mother of the bride.
22:50Mother of the bride.
22:51There isn't even a film called Mother of the Bride,
22:54is there?
22:54Don't you even want to see the ring?
22:56Don't you want to see that ring?
23:00We'll have to rope down the Hubble telescope.
23:01We haven't got time for that.
23:03Come on, let's go.
23:03Dad, say something.
23:04But, but, but, but.
23:06But what?
23:07But what?
23:07Well, you can't even ski.
23:09Skiing?
23:10I'm not skiing anymore.
23:12Snowboarding's a thing.
23:17Well, I think that went pretty well.
23:28Is this it?
23:29Is this the Shelly of Philip?
23:31Yeah, we've got them on.
23:34Oh, oh, darling.
23:36Belle Desire and the Alps.
23:39What's your name?
23:39No, no, I don't like that.
23:40What's really on our first day and Belle Desire?
23:42Well, I think a little liquid refresh and then some shopping, darling.
23:44Yeah.
23:48Can we do it for free?
23:50Come on, Ed, it's fabulous.
23:53Eddie, you're ready yet?
23:55How can I have the crisis?
23:57He's here into the snowboard.
23:59Fabulous.
23:59Yes.
24:00Okay, I'm ready.
24:01Eddie, not that hot.
24:17It's going very well.
24:18This is warming up.
24:19Oh, whack.
24:20Sorry.
24:24Too loose.
24:27Take the photo, Pat.
24:30Take the photo, Pat.
24:37Did you get that?
24:43No.
24:45Pat.
24:54Hi, darling.
24:55We're having lunch here.
24:57At least I'm going to go home with a skill.
24:59I mean, that's the way I think it is.
25:00I mean, nothing on God's earth would get me onto a pair of skeezy...
25:04...frookies.
25:10Yeah, it's always better if I do that myself, yeah.
25:23Oh, Eddie, I wasn't expecting you back so soon.
25:25Do you want some, uh, apres?
25:27Or shall I send them home?
25:29I'm all right.
25:30I'm a little bit bruised already, actually.
25:32Sorry.
25:40This is good.
25:41This is my favourite.
25:43But she doesn't like it.
25:44Come on, darling.
25:45Give it a chance.
25:51I think she looks lovely.
25:52Yes, she does look lovely, doesn't she?
25:56But seriously...
25:57No, you don't have to get serious.
25:58Yes, yes, yes, I do.
25:59This is important.
26:00Look at this beautiful face.
26:03When I first saw this face, I thought, my God.
26:07Why is she hiding all that?
26:09Why is she apologising?
26:11Why is she dressing like that?
26:14Because she doesn't want to make her mother happy.
26:19Oh, no.
26:20No, it's true, Dad.
26:22But now that's gone, isn't it?
26:24Now you've got me, so you can be yourself.
26:28Can we go back tomorrow and get the blue and orange dress?
26:30I loved that one.
26:31No, darling.
26:32Made you look like a tart.
26:35In a deep heat, that's done the trick.
26:37I'm ready for a night on the town now, Pat.
26:44Actually, there's a bit of a melt happening out there, Eddie.
26:46That's the junior piece there.
26:48Yeah.
26:48You didn't see anyone you recognised, did you, this afternoon?
26:50No.
26:50See, I was too goggled up, you see.
26:51Yeah.
26:52No, what, no Cher, no Ivana, no minor royalty, no crowned heads.
26:57I don't know.
26:57How can you tell through ski pants?
26:58I don't know.
27:03Still, it's odd, isn't it?
27:04I mean, you think, end of March, Valdezere, I'll just be crawling with them.
27:08Yeah.
27:08Anyway, it's just the start of our jet set life, you know.
27:11Yeah, too right, babe.
27:12Next year, we'll be skiing in Aspen.
27:14Cloisters.
27:14Summer ripstop.
27:15Zantropane.
27:16Yeah, we'll be there.
27:19You know, we'll probably come across a few tonight, you know,
27:22snuggling up in a little Swiss bistro with Ivana and Jack Nicholson, darling,
27:26you know, fresh from snorting up a few moguls here and there.
27:30Probably just sit in front of a log fire,
27:32having a little grapple with Jean-Paul Mondo.
27:34Yeah.
27:36And relax and recline on a gorgeous fur rug made of...
27:40Elkizoma.
27:41Yes.
27:42It'll be fantastic.
27:44They'll all be there.
27:44They'll all be there, darling.
27:57Here we come.
27:58That's it.
28:07I don't have a ticket like mine, I want.
28:09Would you like to give me my money?
28:11Come on.
28:12My money.
28:12Get that money.
28:13Down in his private place.
28:15On the jet set.
28:17Yes, this is it, darling.
28:18This is the place.
28:20This is the one.
28:20Look, look here.
28:21Look who's been here.
28:22Frank, the Rock, the Zephyr.
28:24It's not a jet set to come.
28:25You're supposed to be filling up with people every minute.
28:27Probably lucky you've got this table.
28:30Thank you very much.
28:31We'll all be here.
28:33Nice.
28:33Now, that's a bit of nothing.
28:38Order some wine, maybe.
28:43Fondue.
28:45Fondue.
28:46Fondue.
28:46Fondue.
28:47Get your time done.
28:48It's like a form of food torture.
28:50Fondue.
28:53Fondue.
28:54Fondue.
28:55Fondue.
28:55Fondue.
28:56Fondue.
28:56Fondue.
28:57Fondue.
28:57Fondue.
28:57Go back.
28:59Have a little bit.
29:01Fondue.
29:05Pretty soon, that's gonna stay forever now.
29:11Not ready.
29:12Not at all.
29:13All right, darling.
29:14It's just the same, except not hot.
29:16Well, I'll do it at home.
29:18Safe time.
29:24Why'd I do that, then?
29:25What?
29:27Sit the Napoleon Brenny and never get the lips wet.
29:30I'll just drink it straight from the bottle, like that.
29:33I could do that, I could do that, watch.
29:37Oh, you've got your lips wet, Eddie.
29:41Take a picture of that.
29:47Just for fun, for a laugh.
29:49Oh, come on Eddie, I need a snack.
29:51That's it.
29:53I can't make this good, darling, I can't make that.
29:55Come on, darling.
30:04No, of course it's okay, I wasn't expecting you.
30:07Sorry, you'll have to speak up, it sounds like a bit of a party.
30:10Oh yes, okay, I'll get my beauty sleep.
30:13Bye.
30:14No, you hang up.
30:15Bye.
30:16No, you...
30:20Now, Gran, where have you been?
30:23Oh, it was most exciting, dear.
30:25I was on a plane.
30:28Where?
30:29Oh, well, it didn't take off.
30:30But they strip searched me.
30:33And blew up my suitcase.
30:35And then this lovely lady recognised me and brought me back here.
30:39Did you get Mac and Millie?
30:41Oh, that's what I was meant to do.
30:43I'm sorry.
30:44Goodbye, dear.
30:45See you later.
30:48How are you?
30:50It's me, Bo.
30:52It's happy, isn't it?
30:53Woo!
30:54Hi, hi, hi.
30:55Marshall isn't with me.
30:57To cut a long story short, he's still with the Scientologists.
30:59But don't worry.
31:00He's not one of them.
31:01He's not stupid.
31:02Just trying to get to John Travolta.
31:04It's perfect for the movie.
31:06Absolutely perfect.
31:07It's a whole new concept.
31:08But we ran out of money.
31:10Anywho, I escaped, got away, I'm on the run.
31:14Marshall's still with them, the brave, crazy fool.
31:16Has he or anyone with his voice phoned here?
31:18No.
31:28That wasn't much fun tonight.
31:35It was fabulous, Elliot.
31:37Yeah, it wasn't really, you know, like, much fun though, was it, darling?
31:41We always have fun, Ed.
31:42Yeah, we always have fun.
31:44We always have fun if there's like fun to be had.
31:46We're always on transit, aren't we, darling?
31:48From fun to fun to fun to fun.
31:51What if it just isn't any fun, darling?
31:53What are you saying?
31:54What if there isn't any fun, huh?
31:56What if there isn't any fun, huh?
31:57What if all of it's just...
32:00What if it's just us, you know?
32:03What do you mean, Eddie?
32:03It's always us.
32:04It's always been just us.
32:05Come on, sweetie.
32:05It's great.
32:06Yeah, it's always been just us, darling.
32:08Yeah, I know that.
32:09It's always been just us, darling.
32:10And this life, and the last life, and the life before that life, darling.
32:15It's always just been us.
32:16It's always just been you.
32:18Gah!
32:19How long for the day someone brings me an axe.
32:22Hello.
32:23Good day.
32:24Good evening, sir.
32:25I'm driving my customers away now, can you?
32:28Hello.
32:28Come on.
32:29You're driving the customers away.
32:30Come on.
32:34The only reason I've survived to this life is because we've never shed a liver, darling.
32:39You died before me.
32:40You know how to lug you around like some dead weight for 20 years.
32:43Oh, that is nonsense shit!
32:44You're lying!
32:45That is not nonsense shit!
32:47I've done regression therapy, darling.
32:48That is not nonsense shit!
32:49That is nonsense shit!
32:50That is expensive nonsense shit!
32:52That is not...
32:54What are you doing?
32:55You're a dead weight then, you know.
32:56You're a...
32:56And what?
32:57And?
32:58And?
32:59No, you don't!
33:00No, you do not!
33:01Don't fall!
33:02Don't fall!
33:04Give me that!
33:06Don't fall!
33:08I'm getting married.
33:10Hallelujah!
33:10Praise the Lord!
33:11Let's speak in tongues.
33:17Oh, your mother must be so happy.
33:20Excuse me.
33:22Hello?
33:26You bitch!
33:28You bitch!
33:30You bitch!
33:31Don't you do that!
33:33You bitch!
33:34You bitch!
33:34You bitch!
33:35I mean I...
33:38Don't you!
33:41Yeah!
33:50Hey!
33:52Hey!
33:52This is fantastic!
33:53Oh, it's fantastic!
34:07There's not many people here, darling.
34:12You'll drink.
34:13Yeah.
34:15Oh, thanks, Ben.
34:16Those people are, then.
34:18Skiing somewhere else.
34:19Aspen.
34:22Cloisters.
34:22Cloisters.
34:25Do get off now, Eddie.
34:26No, wait until the ground comes up.
34:28You have to wait until the ground comes up.
34:29Up here.
34:30Get ready.
34:31Get ready, Ben.
34:32No, not now.
34:33Wait until it comes up.
34:34Get ready, Ben.
34:35I'm ready.
34:37You got the body?
34:38Got the body.
34:38Keep the body.
34:39Yep.
34:40Ready, ready.
34:41Ready?
34:42Ready.
34:44Ready now.
34:51Eddie, I'm going round again.
34:53All right, I'll see what you've got to.
34:56Yes, sweetie.
35:07Hi.
35:08Yes.
35:09Let's ski.
35:10Yes, I'm skiing.
35:11I'll see you there in the corner.
35:13I'm going round again.
35:16Hi.
35:16Hello, Cher.
35:18See you at Espen next year.
35:19Good morning, stars, stars.
35:23You can lead us along.
35:26You can come and be as we sing.
35:31Our early morning singing songs.
35:35Doody, cotton, gloomy.
35:36Lee, be, nabby, doomy.
35:38La, la, la, la, la, la.
35:41Saba, sippy, saba.
35:43Doomy, nabba, li, la, la, la, la, la.
35:48Doody, be, wala, doody, ever, nabba, early morning singing song.
35:58Where are all the people?
36:00Hello?
36:02Snow plow.
36:03I must snow plow.
36:04I must snow plow.
36:05I must snow.
36:08Help!
36:10Help!
36:12I think I'm going to hold something.
36:14I'm going to hold something.
36:42Welcome to heaven, darling.
36:45Heaven.
36:48Yes, it doesn't look like much, I know, but I had to get rid of that old stuff.
36:53It was always Michelangelo's vision, not mine.
36:56This is minimalist, but I like it.
36:59What do you think?
37:00No, it's fabulous.
37:01I thought I might let Conran have a go when he gets there.
37:04That's a great idea.
37:05No, I love his shop.
37:06He does your shopping for you.
37:08He's a very clever boy.
37:10You know, you should do an Amex, sir.
37:12I don't really need to.
37:14I mean, who does your PR?
37:15You could be really big.
37:16I am big.
37:17I exist.
37:19I am real.
37:20Real things don't eat the earth.
37:22Tell me.
37:23You can't stay here, you know.
37:25What?
37:26What didn't I tell you?
37:27It's not your time, Eddie.
37:29You have to go back.
37:31You've been saved.
37:33You know what to do.
37:35I'll be watching.
37:37We've got to get out of this place.
37:40We've got to get out of this place.
37:40If it's the last thing we ever do.
37:44We've got to get out of this place.
37:47You don't want to go.
37:47Girl, there's a better life for me.
37:51You don't want to go.
37:53Somehow.
37:55Somewhere made in your image.
37:56How come I wasn't made in your image?
37:57Girl, you're so young and pretty.
38:02And one thing I know is too.
38:05Oh, my God.
38:51Oh, my God.
39:05Oh, my God.