- 2 days ago
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00:10This video is brought to you by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
00:56It's been three days. How long are you going to keep this up?
01:00Saffy's been in. She's been in today.
01:05You throw me that lipstick, darling. I want to read you my stigmata.
01:14I have one ear sometimes.
01:31I don't do cookies.
01:33Gran.
01:33Gran? You let her call you Gran?
01:36Is she the vulture?
01:39Lord, you know, what is occurring, babe?
01:42Ain't life exciting? Give me a five.
01:45Are you having fun?
01:47Are you living out there with them in the camper vans?
01:50Oh, yes, dear. We don't want to be in the way.
01:51Well, that's good because I've got a lot to organize with the wedding.
01:54The wedding? Is the kid getting hitched?
01:56Yes. The crazy dingbat.
01:58Oh, no. You want to be free like us.
02:02Oh, come on. Let's out of here.
02:04I don't like being around young ones too long. I get itchy, you know.
02:08Okay.
02:09Let's go crazy, ladies.
02:12And, hey, if the ring gets rockin', don't come knockin'.
02:17Has Marshall run yet?
02:18No!
02:37What?
02:38Oh, complicit, darling.
02:41The veil of mist is slowly clearing now, and I can see your little face.
02:46I would have missed that little face, darling, you know.
02:49Oh, sit, sit, sit, sit.
02:51What is it, Mum?
02:52Darling.
02:53I summon you, and yet again you come.
02:57Darling, I just want you to understand and appreciate, darling,
02:59that your mother was this close to death on that mountain, darling.
03:03Do you understand what I'm saying?
03:04Pat, thou wast my witness, wast thou not?
03:06I wasn't there, Eddie.
03:10Anyway, I was at the brink, darling.
03:12I'm sure you were.
03:13Look, I'm pulling, isn't I?
03:14I'm sorry I didn't have time to take a snapshot.
03:16I'm sorry I had snow camcorder with me at the time.
03:18I mean, where's Jeremy bloody Beedle when you need him, huh?
03:21Darling, I was brought back from the abyss by God.
03:25Stop it!
03:26I was, darling.
03:27I was taken up, up to heaven, and I spoke with God.
03:30What about?
03:31Whilst shopping, maybe, darling.
03:34Darling, darling.
03:35And God told me, darling, that I was saved.
03:39You know what that means, don't you?
03:41It means that I, darling.
03:43No.
03:43I am.
03:44No.
03:44I am, darling.
03:45No!
03:46Oh, you have thrice denied me.
03:47No, stop this!
03:49I know what you're trying to do and it won't work.
03:51Oh, what?
03:51How low will you go just to get attention?
03:53You are not Jesus Christ.
03:55You are not important.
03:56You are not even interested.
03:58You're nothing.
03:58I am your mother.
03:59I am your mother.
04:00You are a mean, selfish cow.
04:02And I don't want to be here.
04:03I don't want to talk to you.
04:04I don't want to look at you, you sad lord sack of horrible bones.
04:08I wish you had died.
04:09I wish you were dead and I hate you.
04:22I don't want to talk to you, darling.
04:25Mum…
04:26What, darling?
04:27What, sweetheart?
04:28I've got…
04:29What?
04:30I'm getting married.
04:31I know, I'm going to help you, darling, now.
04:33I don't want your help.
04:34It's going to be very simple.
04:40you're both
04:41simple
04:44that's alright
04:44come on
04:46you're alright now darling
04:52alright
04:53go peacefully amongst the things
04:56sweet heart
04:57sorry darling
04:58can I just ask you really gently one little question
05:01where's my dolphin darling
05:02he's dead
05:06just a bit of fin flop wasn't it
05:09yes the saffron monsoon
05:10for my wedding
05:11well at the registry office I really wanted red roses
05:14is that the price for a bunch
05:16oh
05:18um
05:19well could I have eight stems please
05:25darling
05:26I know you don't want my advice darling
05:27but you have to ask for the flower as well
05:29not just the stems
05:34let me help you darling
05:35no
05:36dad's been very generous
05:37oh well listen I'll double it
05:38no mum really
05:39it's fine
05:40I'm glad you're here
05:41but it's fine
05:41oh
05:46hey kids
05:47this is the vulture
05:48oh we're not talking to her
05:50no
05:50caravan club's still with us I see are they
05:53we're snowbirds babe
05:54are we
05:55our new t-shirt I'm spending my kids in harrytans
05:59we're not older we're just better
06:01oh
06:01and don't you mess with me mother
06:03I'm packing mace
06:05classic
06:07oh death
06:12just me ball how you doing
06:13oh god is she still with us as well
06:15am I amongst friends
06:16are you ever
06:19I've just come to tell you about the Scientologists
06:22they look like normal people
06:23they could be anyone
06:24everyday Joes like me
06:26you should be especially careful
06:27you're very small
06:28they'd snap you right up
06:30the goose flies at night
06:32don't forget we are not talking to the young ones
06:34no we only talk to the old ones
06:36hi honey do you want to join us
06:42well I'm all ready
06:44Max has fixed something up for me
06:45oh what not the fashion director
06:46well editor
06:48oh that's okay
06:49that's more hands on isn't it
06:50hopefully yes
06:50going to do the shows today
06:51oh great
06:52why are you living here
06:53honey you know
06:54odd bins had to expand
06:56separate section for spirits
06:57that's a very good idea
06:58yeah it was my idea
06:59was it
06:59anyway I'm going to look at a majestic wine warehouse
07:01in South Kansas
07:02excellent
07:02good
07:03see you later
07:04you're doing great girl
07:06you know
07:06yeah keep it up honey
07:07where does she hide her little spots
07:09she looks good doesn't she
07:11what she armed you suppose
07:12everything
07:16hello
07:18the goose flies at night
07:20oh honey hi how are you
07:21okay
07:22where are you
07:23I'm doing beingness
07:24doing beingness or being doingness
07:27I'm having
07:28you're having
07:29you've gotten to having
07:30get out of there baby
07:31not yet
07:31I'm getting closer to Kirstie Alley
07:34Kirstie Alley
07:35she's perfect
07:36what about John Travolta
07:37forget Travolta
07:38it's been a dog in a cartoon
07:39it can be a woman
07:40a dog cartoon woman
07:42with Kirstie Alley's voice
07:43it's genius
07:43stay there
07:44no stay there baby
07:45stay there
07:45now I'm Calamity Jane
07:47okay
07:47oh then I'm Doris Day
07:50and I'm the guy
07:51I am Sid Sharif
07:52yes and I start
07:54we just
07:56we just like old elephants son
07:58the elephants just drop
07:59or you die with some old bones
08:01they don't hang around
08:02wait for the
08:03no
08:03no
08:04no
08:04get out
08:05no I'm doing the splits
08:07come on
08:11everybody just get out
08:13I have got a wedding
08:15to organise
08:16and his parents
08:16are coming here tonight
08:19understood dear
08:22excuse me
08:30hi
08:31hi
08:33well hello
08:34didn't see you in Milan at Friday last week
08:37er well no
08:38Mew's a very good friend of mine
08:39I had to be backstage
08:39holding her hand
08:41oh hi Mags
08:42alright Susie
08:43hello
08:43hello Pets
08:44good to see you back mate
08:44how is Milan
08:46Prada
08:47Gucci
08:47Armani
08:48Versace
08:48shit kitsch
08:49with nephew Armani
08:50but that's my tip
08:51I like one of them
08:53Donatella
08:53giving him a dress
08:55Valentino
08:55I can't take anyone seriously
08:57he's got a mouth like a constipated arsehole
08:58but who am I
09:00murky for an hairdo
09:01and women falling at his feet
09:02I mean what do I know
09:03I don't like these new kids
09:04I tell you
09:05I ain't hanging about in any more
09:06wear asses
09:07looking at models
09:07cracks and flaps
09:08dangling under the crape the shoe
09:10no dimension in transparency
09:11it's tips and minging
09:12cling to the lights
09:50what's that a jersey?
09:53silk silk silk silk
09:55on top of my
09:57brown
09:58blue
09:59blue
10:00million
10:01than mine
10:06under the lamp
10:14yeah
10:15and the last one in section one
10:15was that transparent?
10:16no
10:17no
10:18boot cap trousers
10:19yup
10:19yeah
10:19and ankle lengthen
10:21was it grazing
10:21you thought
10:21help me you bitch
10:25all right right i'm off i'm taking a rest i should be getting out of the spotlight for a while
10:30i should be vacationing in the obscure world of cable television for a couple of years
10:34i've bolted bog at the end of the day ain't i'm gagging for a shake
10:49and mum well i do darling i dressed down i didn't want to over all of them
10:54this looks lovely yeah it looks lovely so fill us in a bit then darling what can we expect from
10:59the
11:00little clues for rootsy for rootsy well his um dad is an industrialist and art collector
11:11what oh what what what an industrialist and art collector
11:16and the mother and the mother air host yes yes yes this fits you understand you understand it
11:23come on tell me where they live darling well they have homes in madrid yes bel-air
11:27san maritz del mar i know these people what's this hello magazine what's that t-son wedding
11:33one taxes house so here here darling look kashoggi camel races look at this darling
11:38are these the people are these them these people are so mega conglomerate one small withdrawal and
11:44switzerland goes third world
11:48it's not important they're coming to see me absolutely they hope they like me of course
11:53they like you they're gonna like you darling super league rich i mean these people could order
11:58china is a takeaway okay i know how to deal with these people you stay here we're here to see
12:22mrs monsoon
12:23yeah that's me oh how sweet of you to open your own door oh how nice but i could never
12:32live in a
12:32place like this i'm claustrophobic don't take your glasses off carlo
12:37safi's downstairs oh he's staircase i'm noble careful carlo imagine stepping down off the jet
12:49excuse me excuse me sir we live at one level if you can go sideways why go up
12:54come in come in oh are we there yeah well i thought it might go on through but i see
13:01not
13:01no i'm knocking through i'm knocking through i'll do it in a minute actually this is saffron this is
13:07her it's a white lovely hair that's all right that'll come off when it darling
13:14this is my father how delightful to meet you how do you do and uh and you
13:18um please have some champagne go get the champagne darling i've got crude i've got crude please sit down
13:26i thought you were coming over earlier to help me sort this out i'm sorry i got held up you've
13:29done
13:30really well this is great oh it's mummy's dog she's lovely isn't she don't you think well what a week
13:35it's been yes it has hasn't it i've had the danish royal family staying for the champagne challenge
13:39with cows the lloyd webbers for the pre pre-de-lac napoleon brandy steaks and the empress faradiba
13:45for the bollinger american express venesopera celebrity polo cup
13:51how are we catherine do you play polo no i'm always up for a chucker aren't i darling
13:58i hear you're an art collector huh we have collections in three major capital cities
14:03one in the national gallery oh sorry was i frowning i don't know i wasn't looking
14:08yeah national gallery i'm always in there you know what for well you know for lunch and uh
14:14postcards it's got a lovely shop
14:20so so talk talk talk oh no no no no i'm sorry i'm sorry she escaped oh i'm sorry she
14:31escaped
14:31get her out oh oh oh help help help help help help help help please please have an olive
14:37just an olive die have caviar i've got caviar a beluga or sabrooga
14:42Oh, luga-baluga, it's potatoes.
14:45Excuse me, I've just got to go and sacrifice some old potatoes.
14:54Oh, luga-baluga, it's potatoes.
15:03Oh, luga-baluga, it's potatoes.
15:10In those days, I had my own ministry. Hallelujah, praise the Lord.
15:14I was just saying, if these two lovely young kids need someone to preside at the ceremony, I'd be more
15:18than happy.
15:19I might be a little rusty. Let's see. Lamb of God, Lamb of God.
15:23I'm so sorry about her. I'm so sorry.
15:24No, it's fine. It's asleep.
15:26Strange but true. The other day, I could not for the life of me remember the names of the four
15:30disciples, but I could remember every single one of the Osmonds.
15:35Alan Jay, Meryl, Donnie, Jimmy, and sometimes Marie. She's like the Y in the vowel sequence. Sometimes Marie.
15:42Why didn't he do as I say? He hates me.
15:44Don't frown. Sorry.
15:46We have one of our homes in Del Mar, close to the Rothschilds, who I saw the other day, Paolo.
15:50The Rothschilds.
15:51After bingo at Morton's with Pally. Do you know Lord Palumbo?
15:54No.
15:55Why did I think you would?
15:57And who else was there but the Infantas, Elena and Cristina. Do you know them?
16:01Yes. Spanish War family, darling. We know them. You know, little potato faces and Brillo pad hair. We know them.
16:07But most I love Bel Air.
16:09I find I get a lot of work done there.
16:11Oh, liposuction.
16:17No. Writing.
16:18Don't these two look cute together. Let's link pinks and make a caring circle.
16:22No.
16:23Come on.
16:24Hey, we're all going to be family after all.
16:25No, she's not family.
16:26Would you sing with me?
16:27No.
16:27May they live in blissful happiness.
16:30May they know the joy of Christ.
16:32Stop making pink pinks.
16:33I'll link your pink.
16:33May they live in blissful mad,ING bony,
16:36and pay the heavenly price.
16:39May they know...
16:40I'm all theads.
16:44Oh, for pets.
16:56What, him?
16:57Yeah, I was shocked, Eddie.
16:59God, that's disgusting, isn't it?
17:01It's tragic.
17:01There's no way so he's left it all over the sea.
17:03Has he made the money?
17:05Yeah, he is.
17:06Oh, is he?
17:06No, he is, darling.
17:08But this rich bitch of a mother is downstairs disapproving of my daughter, darling.
17:13Tell you when some you lose some.
17:14No, Eddie, Eddie, that is very bad news, Eddie.
17:16Yeah, I know.
17:16Look, I need a drink.
17:17Go down and get a bottle of crude, will you?
17:18I can't face that woman again.
17:20All righty.
17:21Yeah?
17:21You roll.
17:22All right.
17:25Is this really necessary?
17:27My son is worth an awful lot of money.
17:29Mama, stop it.
17:30I've told you she's perfect.
17:31But she's...
17:32You didn't see her before.
17:33Hello.
17:34Hello.
17:35So exactly what is it you do again?
17:37Um, I work for Southwark Council.
17:39Ah!
17:42A council?
17:43Hello.
17:44Hello.
17:46Hello.
17:48So, tell me more.
17:49Um, I'm working on a pedestrianisation scheme in South London.
17:53South London.
17:57You see her, darling?
17:58Yeah.
17:59What did you say she was?
18:00No, hostess.
18:03Hostess nearer the mark.
18:04What?
18:04Darling, that is Kalishia Clegg.
18:06She was a Bond girl with me.
18:12I was thinking, oh, you were never a Bond girl.
18:14Yes, I was.
18:14Yes, Bond meets Black Emmanuel.
18:16Yeah.
18:17It's me, Kalishia Clegg.
18:19I'm a new scampo.
18:20Yeah, I remember.
18:21Oh, oh, Eddie.
18:23Eddie.
18:23Eddie.
18:24Do you want me to hell-butt a bit here?
18:25Yeah.
18:25Yeah.
18:27Naughty dot, darling.
18:28Yeah.
18:29Because it was a swap.
18:30Yeah.
18:31But why?
18:32I have nothing against you personally.
18:34But I doubt your motives.
18:35Of course she wants to marry you.
18:36Paolo, look at what she's coming from.
18:38Darling boy, she's not good enough for you.
18:41She's, she's a squirrel.
18:44I want you to have mink.
18:46Well, now.
18:48Tell her we don't care what she thinks.
18:50Oh, don't be ridiculous.
18:50She's my mother.
18:51Well, tell her we're going to get married anyway.
18:53I'll be cut off.
18:53Up the stairs to the jet gun, look.
18:57What a lovely couple.
19:00You two should take a tip from them.
19:03Anywho.
19:09Now, where's the powder room?
19:14Coffee drink water.
19:16That's all right.
19:17He's blind.
19:18Oh.
19:34So, Calicia.
19:36What do you want?
19:37Don't you remember me?
19:39No.
19:40Well, let me refresh your memory.
19:45Room service.
19:46I brought something hot up.
19:50Zeta, the Amazonian waitress.
19:52Mnushka?
19:53No, Patsy.
19:54And hello, Sabina, naked snake charmer.
20:00Oh, my God.
20:02Oh, my God.
20:03Oh, my God.
20:03Oh, my God.
20:04Oh, my God.
20:04Remember, darling?
20:06You bitch.
20:07And if I'm not mistaken...
20:10And some of us are...
20:27Adorable child.
20:30Already I think of you as family, all right, Paolo.
20:33Perfect, perfect puppet wife.
20:36So, see you at the wedding, whenever that will be.
20:38Wednesday.
20:39The month?
20:40There's not enough time.
20:41There's no point in waiting.
20:42It's what I do best.
20:43Wednesday.
20:43All right.
20:43Ciao.
20:45Ciao.
20:45Ciao.
20:47It must be all right, darling.
20:48If people can come...
20:49You were dubbed in the end, you know.
20:51By Grit Ecclimate.
20:56Sab.
20:57Yes, sir.
20:57They love you.
20:58I'm really excited.
21:00See you very soon.
21:01Yeah.
21:02Bye.
21:02Bye.
21:03Oh.
21:04I love him.
21:05Oh, I love him.
21:06Come here.
21:06Come here.
21:07Shut, shut, shut, shut.
21:08I love you.
21:09Oh, sorry.
21:10Sorry.
21:10Sorry.
21:11Oh, yes.
21:13We'll show Kalishia Clegg, darling.
21:15No more sinful wedding.
21:17No more male wedding experience.
21:18This will blow the bloody brains out of a camcorder, darling.
21:21This wedding, darling, will be emblazoned on the memory of all those presents for generations to come.
21:25Is that all right?
21:25It's about you, obviously, darling, the wedding.
21:27Is that okay?
21:27Yes.
21:28Yeah, okay.
21:28Yes.
21:29No, thank me, darling.
21:30Thank Patsy.
21:31Come on.
21:33Put the cigarette down, Pats.
21:39Well, I did my bit.
21:43Yeah, well, she's more man than you'll ever be.
21:47Never mind, mate.
21:58Darling, darling, what do you think it's more?
22:00Sleep at that, Stanley.
22:02Oh.
22:02Oh, cheers, Lily.
22:03Thanks, I'll come.
22:12This is nice, isn't it, huh?
22:14What?
22:14Yeah, family life.
22:16Yeah.
22:16Good to see the little girls settle.
22:18Yeah.
22:19All right, darling.
22:19All right, sir.
22:22One for the morning.
22:34It's just great.
22:36What?
22:37Oh, great.
22:37No, that's fine.
22:39You know, just a little peck on the cheek and turn over.
22:41That's fine.
22:44After all we've been through together, after all I've done for you, darling.
22:47Well, what?
22:53Turn off the light.
22:56Oh, my God.
23:03Sure is it.
23:05Right, darling.
23:05Right.
23:08Oh, I'm so happy for you.
23:10But to be quite honest, I find him really frightening.
23:13Yes, well, you find everyone frightening.
23:15Don't worry, I'm going to change him.
23:17This is all so exciting.
23:19Will there be champagne at the wedding?
23:21Oh, yes.
23:21Loads of bubbly.
23:23All right, I want you to get the invitations printed, all right?
23:26Right.
23:27Are they?
23:28No, get them done.
23:30Get them done.
23:30All right?
23:31Right.
23:32For the wedding.
23:34For the wedding.
23:35And I want you to be my bridesmaid.
23:37No, no, darling.
23:38I've got you the Gucci girl.
23:39No, Mum, I want her.
23:40It's my wedding.
23:42All right, book.
23:42Titty caca.
23:44And I want you to book Clifton, the whole hotel, for the whole weekend.
23:48I want OK and Hello magazine pit-pulling for that front cover.
23:50I want limos so long they've got stretch marks and the flowers just mow the Netherlands.
23:54No expense.
23:55All right?
23:55And then get every PR's PR list and invite everybody on it and bite the invitations.
24:00Everybody?
24:01Yeah, well, everyone knows anybody.
24:02No, not Julia Carling, Tamara Beckwith or Tara Pumpkins and Farfar.
24:06It's just that they're really good friends of mine.
24:09No, no.
24:10Darling, have you thought about music?
24:11Yes, I want classical.
24:12Classical?
24:12Hmm.
24:13Sally Gunnell?
24:14No, no.
24:15Darling, we're going to rendezvous at 0000100 hours.
24:19All right, darling, go look at the church.
24:20See you later.
24:20Christopher Bigot?
24:21No.
24:22He can't.
24:23He's already there.
24:24That's the point.
24:26And, um, we've got to think about what dress you're going to wear.
24:29Oh, don't worry.
24:30I've got the loveliest dress.
24:32Good.
24:33I don't want anything too little.
24:34Nothing too small.
24:36You'll get your name in the program and a leaflet on every seat if you're lucky.
24:38All right.
24:39They're growing bunches.
24:40What?
24:40Flowers.
24:41You're lying.
24:41They're growing bunches with plastic around them.
24:43Honestly.
24:43Yes.
24:43Yes.
24:44Oh, God.
24:45Oh, God.
24:47What's the world coming to when innocent people walking along the street have to give money
24:50to destitutes just in case they're journalists, darling?
24:52You are.
24:53Journalists?
24:54Yeah.
24:58That's all I've got, mate, you know.
25:00I've got larger, but, you know, I might need it myself later.
25:04I've got to think about those churches.
25:06I've done St. Paul's.
25:06I didn't like that.
25:07Too big.
25:09But that last one, darling, that was pretty.
25:11Mum, it was a synagogue.
25:12Is it a darling?
25:13Yes.
25:13I don't know.
25:14New synagogues.
25:16Just see if you see something there, won't you?
25:19Stipple.
25:20That one.
25:21That one?
25:22All right, stop.
25:23She likes that one.
25:23You sure?
25:24Mm-hmm.
25:24Yeah?
25:24Okay.
25:25I'll go in.
25:27No, you stay here, darling.
25:28You're with no help at all in Westminster, I'd like.
25:32I will be polite.
25:34Be polite.
25:35You know me.
25:36Help.
25:38Help.
25:46Bye-bye.
25:47La Croix, by the way.
25:48La Croix.
25:50Darling, darling, they can do the service, but they can't do the party.
25:59Perception.
25:59On, drive on.
26:00What next?
26:02Delia Smith.
26:04Are you sure, darling?
26:05Should we want that one?
26:05Because, you know, it's the pause to do the lot.
26:07Come on and everything.
26:08Hello?
26:13Right.
26:14Oh, that's better.
26:16Happier like this.
26:17Couldn't meet him in my army.
26:19Right, you get back to the office and coordinate, all right?
26:22The list.
26:24For the wedding.
26:26Oh, you're going to have to listen.
26:28Go, go on, go.
26:29I think you're in for a bit of a treat, my dear.
26:31You're not an oversight, darling?
26:32I'm fine.
26:33You tell him what you want.
26:34You tell him what you want.
26:47Excuse me.
26:48Oi, shop girl.
26:51Hello.
26:51May I help you?
26:52Yeah.
26:53Please tell me, Monsieur, La Christiane Lacroix.
26:55I'd like to be right here, please.
26:56Yes, I'll tell him.
26:58Oi, and I want to try this on.
26:59I'm sorry.
27:00We don't have that in your size.
27:01No, I don't need my size.
27:02I don't wear my size.
27:03Yes, but what you don't understand is that...
27:04Oh, I'll try this one.
27:05Okay.
27:14I'm sorry, we can't.
27:18Pleasure.
27:18Hi, Patsy, Patsy Stone.
27:20You've probably heard of me.
27:21I was at your show.
27:21It was unreal.
27:22I've always wanted to own some of her jewellery.
27:24Of course, yes.
27:25I'm Saffron Monsoon.
27:26I have an appointment for a wedding dress.
27:27Of course, yes.
27:28Oh, this is my...
27:29Well, she's not...
27:29She's her.
27:30Actually, Eddie, get up.
27:31She's her daughter.
27:32Ed.
27:32Please, come this way.
27:34Here you are.
27:37Well, it's beautiful, but maybe it could be a bit simpler.
27:40Darling, darling.
27:41He's an artist.
27:42Let it be his vision.
27:43No, you can be simpler.
27:45Oh, thank you.
27:46Yeah, well, not this one.
27:48She'll need straps.
27:49She's like me.
27:51Thank you very much.
27:52It was a great pleasure, really.
27:54Please, it was for you.
27:55Oh, thank you.
27:57Have you come to the wedding?
27:59Of course not.
27:59I'm afraid.
28:11Savvy.
28:12Savvy.
28:13Oh, hello.
28:15Hello.
28:15Morning, wedding girl.
28:17Morning.
28:17Oh.
28:19Oh.
28:20Did you sleep well, darling?
28:22No, I could hardly sleep at all.
28:23Oh, that's just wedding butterflies, you know.
28:25I never had those.
28:26I never had the build-up, you know.
28:28Oh, guess who I spoke to this morning, Serge?
28:30Oh, is he coming?
28:31No, he can't make the wedding, but he's coming to the reception.
28:32Oh, yes.
28:34Nice.
28:35You don't normally come up and see me in the morning.
28:37No, I don't.
28:38Do I, darling?
28:38Right, come in, Pat.
28:39I've got her.
28:40I've got her.
28:40I've got her.
28:40I've got her.
28:40Get off me.
28:41I've got her.
28:42Ow!
28:45Ow!
28:47It's all right, sweetie.
28:53It's all that bad.
28:54The redness will go.
28:55The redness will go.
28:56It's just I'm a perfectionist.
28:57I'm sorry.
28:57I'm sorry.
28:58I'm a perfectionist.
29:02Mind my ears.
29:02I don't like my ears, Nikki.
29:04Darling, darling, darling, darling, darling.
29:05Darling, this?
29:07No.
29:08Well, with a body minimiser.
29:09Come on.
29:10No, Nikki, Nikki.
29:11I like it.
29:13I want a hairpiece, darling.
29:15I want a hairpiece.
29:16Oh, try one of mine.
29:17I've got plenty for everybody.
29:19But what does God want me to be today?
29:21Lawn brunette, shaft.
29:25Glory, glory, hallelujah.
29:27Don't worry.
29:28I'm here.
29:28I'm here.
29:29I'm here.
29:29I can't.
29:30Very sorry I'm late.
29:32Got this hot roller wedged under my accelerator pedal.
29:35So, where's the blushing bride?
29:37She's in the bathroom.
29:38She's in the bathroom.
29:39Can't wait to get my magic fingers on that barnet.
29:43Oh!
29:45Nikki Clark!
29:48I thought you could do my mother.
29:50Oh, right, right.
29:53Well, how do you want it, then?
29:54Oh, under my hat, dear.
29:56Good.
30:01Nikki Clark, Nikki Clark, Nikki Clark.
30:05I'd better be going.
30:05Marsh will be waiting.
30:07What do you think?
30:07Too Tammy Faye Baker?
30:09Well, like Danny Baker, dear.
30:20I'll wait here for staff.
30:21You two go on.
30:22No.
30:23She's coming with me.
30:25I'm going to walk her down the aisle.
30:28Well, you can come in the car with me, dear.
30:30You're not going in the car.
30:31You're going on public transport.
30:32There's a bus stop out there doing nothing.
30:34You see?
30:37V-bamp, makeover.
30:38Slurred, creative hairdressing.
30:40That bloody sushi breakfast at UK.
30:42Gold keeps rotating on me.
30:43Can you watch a little?
30:45Oh, yeah.
30:45Come on, then, mate.
30:46It's my new project.
30:47Yeah, no, it's very entertaining.
30:48It's a bit embarrassing.
30:49What is this?
30:51Come on up this way.
30:52Come on up this way.
30:53Under here, please.
30:53Closer, closer.
30:54It's fine.
30:55It's just ready.
30:57I'm the grandmother.
30:59Oh, Brucey.
31:01I was going to hang on.
31:01Bruce, Bruce.
31:02Oh, he's there.
31:02Bruce, darling, come on.
31:04Wedding, darling.
31:05Yeah.
31:07Yeah, he's coming.
31:07He loves me.
31:08All right.
31:08I'll see you.
31:08I'll walk on.
31:09You're all right.
31:10Look, I have a wonderful gift.
31:18Hi, sweetest.
31:19No, Brucey, baby, the thing is about being a little fashion icon.
31:25Take the bed with you.
31:26Take in the glasses with you.
31:27Just take the bed.
31:28That's it.
31:29This is good.
31:30It's a bed.
31:40And it's fine.
31:41That's what you're talking about.
31:52This is good.
31:55This is bad.
31:58It's fine.
32:00It's fine.
32:00Mother's ride.
32:01Mother's ride.
32:02Mother's ride.
32:04Oh, we'll see you again.
32:06Mother's ride.
32:22I said no to him. I've had trouble with him before.
32:25Don't worry, I'm only here for the champagne, dear.
32:29Excuse me, everyone seems to be picking glasses at the church.
32:31There must be no alcohol in a church.
32:33Eh? Ah, it's just Muslims.
32:37I do hope that dress is straps on.
32:52Is anybody looking at me?
32:56Anybody's looking at you?
32:57I mean, you lost your lip line.
32:58Oh my god.
32:58Reapply.
33:00I haven't got any island to use yours.
33:02No, it's not your color.
33:03They look themselves to the ball of fear.
33:05Oh!
33:06Remember when you had your balls yoked?
33:08Mmm!
33:08It's too fast.
33:09You don't know.
33:10I mean, I'm here.
33:15I'm here.
33:15She's coming.
33:17It's okay.
33:18It's okay.
33:18You can't take it out.
33:20It's okay.
33:22You can't take it out.
33:26Can I just tell me what things he got here?
33:29I don't know.
33:30I can't see if I'm here.
33:31You don't know what to do.
33:46I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
34:16I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
35:11I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
35:29I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
35:43I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
36:28I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
36:51I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
37:19I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
37:28I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
37:30I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
37:47I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
37:55I'm sorry.
37:59I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
38:02I'm sorry.
38:13How are you feeling now, darling?
38:15Fine.
38:16Yeah, you knew it wasn't right, didn't you, sweetheart?
38:18I think he was only marrying me because he wanted a wife.
38:20Of course he was, of course he was.
38:22Still, it's nice to be at home and everything back to normal.
38:25Yes.
38:26What time's the plane, Eddie?
38:27You're not going away, are you?
38:29Well, you didn't want the honeymoon, did you, darling?
38:33Just.