- 2 days ago
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00:41My room.
00:48What are you thinking?
00:50It's not like a little space I've got in here.
00:53I mean, nobody I know lives in a house this small, darling.
00:55Darling.
00:57It's so sordid, isn't it, darling, to sort of have to get dressed in this room.
01:00You know, sleep dress, sleep dress.
01:02It's the kind of sevenies, isn't it, to sort of have clothes draped all over the place.
01:06Look at them here, all just hanging limp in this flimsy wardrobe.
01:11No.
01:12We're just waiting to be worn, darling, all cramped in there and uncared for.
01:17Darling.
01:18Battery clothes, sweetheart.
01:21I wake at night sometimes, darling, just thinking about those clothes standing there.
01:26They're hassling me, darling.
01:27Why don't you put me on?
01:29Why don't you wear me?
01:31I mean, year in and year out, darling, thinking about...
01:34There are some clothes that are so far back, they may never see the light of day again.
01:41All just hanging there like...
01:42Like old skins.
01:45Shed and shedded.
01:48I am forced to sleep with these corpses.
01:54Absolutely not.
02:06Anything I could find her, it's all creased.
02:11Mum, stop it.
02:12I will not be annexed.
02:13I need my bedroom.
02:16Don't you have that gorgeous attic we've got, darling?
02:18No.
02:19We'll get designers in.
02:20No.
02:21Windows.
02:21No.
02:22I'll pay you.
02:22No.
02:24Darling, I want...
02:26A walk-in wardrobe!
02:28There is Serge's room.
02:29He's not here.
02:31Yeah, well, what if he came back, you know?
02:33I thought he did come back.
02:34No, that wasn't him.
02:36But that wasn't him, darling.
02:38Well, then who was it?
02:40Well, you know those door-to-door unemployed they send around?
02:43Oh, yeah, fantastic.
02:47I was one of those, darling.
02:49Look, it was an easy mistake to make.
02:53Anyway, he didn't fool me for long.
02:55Oh, you're going to have to get a sporty hatchback and a job in youth television.
02:59What?
02:59He's the new boy on the word, the one that looks like a pit bull.
03:02With the brains to match.
03:04What?
03:05It was an easy mistake to make, Mum.
03:07You haven't seen him for six years.
03:08Six years?
03:09Six years?
03:10How dare you, darling?
03:11Six years, is it?
03:13One punishes you by leaving, and the other punishes us all by staying.
03:19Six years?
03:21No one's been in that room since he left.
03:23I have never been in it.
03:25I mean, he never let me in.
03:26Tried to get him when he was 13, you know, to sort of paint it black and scatter beanbags
03:29and cushions everywhere.
03:31No.
03:32Changed the locks.
03:34You got that key, darling?
03:35No.
03:37It was the shorter one.
03:48Oh, gosh, a bit rank in here.
03:51It's always smelled like this.
03:52Did it, sir?
03:53Boys' room.
03:53It's quite a sexy smell, I always thought, Ed.
03:55The smell of a ripening tuck box.
03:57Yeah.
03:59Oh, look at this.
03:59My son's room.
04:01My son's room.
04:02My son.
04:03My lovely, lovely son.
04:05It's funny, isn't it?
04:06That mother-son thing.
04:07It's not like you and me, darling.
04:08It's a mother-son thing.
04:10You know, the mother and the son, the cord is never really cut, darling.
04:14He's not coming back, you know, Mum.
04:15It's maybe stretched to the limit at the moment, darling.
04:17But at any moment, and when he least expects it, it will cassapult him back across the edge.
04:23Unbilical whiplash, darling.
04:25Oh, my son.
04:28Son, my son, my lovely, lovely son.
04:31You're so beautiful, Mum.
04:36All the boys at school can't believe you're my mother.
04:43One day, when I'm older, I'd like to take you out to dinner.
04:46The son of a rinsing?
04:47Yes.
04:51Just you.
04:53And I, mother.
04:56I'll pay.
05:01What is that?
05:02That's him.
05:04I thought that was Jimmy Osmond.
05:10Oh, it won't take long to clear this lot out, will it, darling?
05:13He's going in the attic.
05:14Yeah.
05:15What is all this, anyway?
05:16He knows Dandy's boys are...
05:19razzled.
05:22Razzled?
05:22Razzled.
05:23I never knew...
05:24Razzled.
05:25Razzled.
05:25What, yeah?
05:2772.
05:28Month.
05:31January.
05:33That's fine.
05:35It's disgusting.
05:36Oh, let me see.
05:37I think we should throw it away.
05:38Let me just see it first.
05:38Just let me just see it.
05:40Disgusting.
05:43Oh, my God.
05:44Oh, my God.
05:46Oh, look at that.
05:47Oh, look at that.
05:48Don't look at that.
05:49It's disgusting.
05:49That is so degrading to women.
05:51What do you mean?
05:52She's got the whip.
05:53Yeah.
05:55I think we should throw this away.
05:56Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
05:58Mum, look, door, door.
05:59Those are my friends.
06:00I'll be working downstairs, so...
06:01So what?
06:01So shall I take it and throw it out?
06:04I can throw it out, darling.
06:05I will.
06:05I can throw it out, darling.
06:16Oh, God.
06:17Look at that fast.
06:18It's sort of porn, isn't it?
06:19It's not just sex, Ellie.
06:20It's just people doing sex.
06:21It's not you to get uptight about it.
06:22Yeah, I know.
06:22It just always makes me sort of anxious, you know.
06:24I'm not like you.
06:25You can just do it.
06:26You know, you've always been like a sort of vessel waiting to be filled.
06:29But, you know, I can't just disconnect myself and become a sort of exploitable object of
06:37no value.
06:37I can't do that.
06:38That's what I'm doing.
06:39It's just sex, Ellie.
06:40I mean, you used to do it sometimes, didn't you?
06:44Well, yeah, in the 60s, darling.
06:45Oh, the 60s, yeah.
06:46Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:47The old flirtation with the big O.
06:49Yeah.
06:50Cool.
06:51Happenings.
06:51Orges.
06:56Orges.
06:56Oh, yeah, babe.
06:59Was I there?
07:00Oh, yeah, Eddie.
07:02Remember?
07:03Yeah.
07:05I know everyone thinks we're like the...
07:07Specky four-eyes swats.
07:10Bicycle face swats, I get.
07:12Yes, well, we must make it clear that this is just a fun lecturing film.
07:15You know, just casual about genetics and ethics.
07:17And hey, it would be great if you came.
07:20And maybe we should make the title catchier.
07:22Like?
07:23Oh, um...
07:25Oh, no, I nearly had one.
07:29Gen-ethics-ethics.
07:31Well, that's just shorter, isn't it?
07:33Yeah.
07:34Genetics.
07:35No, that's just stupid.
07:37Well, genetics and ethics is quite catchy.
07:40Sort of says it, doesn't it?
07:43Yeah.
07:46You see, darling, I mean, I've spent a fortune in my life trying to get in touch with my sexual
07:50being.
07:51I mean, do you remember I spent that week, darling, celebrating my private parts?
07:54Do you remember that?
07:56I mean, I've workshopped them, painted them, drawn them, written poetry to them,
08:02treated them to a three-course meal at the restaurant of their choice.
08:06Yeah, we are still as strangers.
08:10Still, I'm not entirely unhappy about that.
08:12I mean, you know, I'm just not the sort of woman who wants to spend a free afternoon
08:14squatted over a small hand mirror, you know.
08:17Oh, for God's sake, I've seen doctors go pale.
08:21All you have to do is to find someone, go out with them, have a few drinks and away.
08:27That's right for you, isn't it?
08:29I mean, I'm not interested in any of the people I get offers from, anyway.
08:32I'd rather die than go out with some sort of short, grey-haired,
08:36after-shaved Armani-spectacled 50-year-old executive of the manicure, darling.
08:40I mean, it'd be all right if it was just sort of, you know,
08:45you know, like razzle, wouldn't it?
08:48Well, that can be fixed.
08:49We can get you a man.
08:51Well, how?
08:53Pay.
08:57Yeah, everyone's doing it.
08:58Are they?
08:59Yeah.
09:01Well, you just rent a man, do you?
09:02Yeah, rent two.
09:03We'll make a night of it.
09:07Then we should discuss the, I was going to say, radicalisation,
09:09that's American, isn't it?
09:11At this moment in time.
09:13Yes, to boldly be, no, to go boldly beyond what man has gone before.
09:21Do you want a drink before we go, darling?
09:22Yeah, fantastic, sweetie.
09:23Well, what do you want, a bolly?
09:26Cocktail.
09:27What, bolly's dolly?
09:28Okay.
09:30Um, next we should discuss issues such as, uh, sex determination.
09:34That's asking.
09:37And imagine the nightmare scenario if parents were able to actually choose exactly the child they wanted.
09:41Oh, God, but she doesn't see the irony.
09:45What?
09:45Huh?
09:46Well, nothing, darling, nothing.
09:49Actually, darling.
09:50Darling, sweetheart.
09:52Hello, mother.
09:53Darling, darling.
09:54When are you doing this thing?
09:56You know, this genetic thing.
09:58Tomorrow night, why?
10:00No reason.
10:02Doesn't give us long enough to stop.
10:03Long enough.
10:03Long enough.
10:03Long enough.
10:04Shall I get them?
10:06No, I know someone who can get them.
10:07I know someone who can get them.
10:08Well, then all you have to do is to decide the kind of man that you want.
10:10Yeah, I know.
10:11I don't want those big mustard ones, because they're some privates, don't they?
10:14You want other...
10:14Tight butt.
10:15Tight butt.
10:15No hair here.
10:16I'm not having a hairy bag.
10:17I don't want that.
10:19Would you mind going?
10:22Darling, I live here.
10:23So long as I'm living in this house, there is a rule.
10:25Don't ever embarrass me in front of my friends.
10:29I won't.
10:31Here you are, babes.
10:34That wasn't me.
10:35That wasn't me.
10:36Get out.
10:37It wasn't me.
10:37It was her.
10:38All we have to do is find someone who you'll never be to get in the rest of your life.
10:41Oh, darling.
10:41That could be the only man I've ever been out with.
10:42Sorry.
10:43I think we should just throw this away.
10:46Where do people get those things anyway?
10:48We can get them in.
11:08You're off to bed then, darling, are you?
11:10In a minute.
11:12I think we should have a little talk, don't you?
11:15Have you seen this, darling?
11:16This Nancy Friday.
11:17It's extraordinary.
11:18She just gets complete strangers to relate their filthiest thoughts and then sells them
11:21as therapy.
11:22It's fantastic.
11:22Mum, I want to know what you're planning for tomorrow night.
11:25Armpit kissing.
11:26Would you please...
11:27I want to know.
11:31Sweetie, it is simply the extrication of myself from the burden of sexual norms and the
11:36restoration of my own powerful and integrated sexuality.
11:41An orgy.
11:43Yeah, that's the one.
11:45Why?
11:46I don't know why.
11:47I mean, just because...
11:48I've just got to do it sometime, darling, haven't I?
11:51I mean, I know you think I've lived this kind of debauched and crazed life, darling, but
11:56I haven't really.
11:57I mean, sex was, you know, never really my thing.
12:02I was about to say guilty, you know, when I was young.
12:04I was about my mother was watching me, darling.
12:06I mean, wherever I was, whoever I was with, I could feel her watching me.
12:11Her retinas were my contraception in those days.
12:16And then, you see, then I just got married twice and was rarely troubled.
12:22Well, be careful.
12:24Yeah, be all right.
12:24Pat's will be there, don't worry.
12:27Have you...
12:28Have you got any things?
12:35Well, I'll get you some tomorrow.
12:37Thank you, darling.
12:38Thank you, darling.
12:38Darling.
12:39Please, Miles.
12:41Friends?
12:42No.
12:44Mother and daughter.
12:46Mother and daughter.
12:54Oh, my God.
12:58Okay.
13:25Hello.
13:34Darling, sweetie, it's mummy.
13:35Darling, just checking.
13:36It's tonight, isn't it, darling?
13:37Wednesday night.
13:39Your genetics ethics thing, yes, darling.
13:41So you won't be in.
13:42All right, I'll see you later.
13:44All right, bye.
13:45Found it, Eddie.
13:46Little something to put us in the mood.
13:48Make tonight go for the swing.
13:49Oh, fearless.
13:50So, who did you find?
13:52What?
13:54Procure, pimp.
13:55Oh, darling, it's my hair colourist, Christopher.
13:57You know him.
13:57Are you mad?
13:59He knows everybody.
14:00He's very, very discreet.
14:02Christopher called.
14:05So he's coming over any minute to discuss what kind of men you want for the orgy.
14:10Yes, thanks very much.
14:13That'll be all.
14:14An orgy?
14:15No.
14:16I thought you didn't do sex.
14:19Look, I am a free person.
14:20I can do what I want.
14:22And yes, true, I have chosen to be celibate for the past few months, years.
14:27I'm celibate.
14:28That's what everyone says when they can't have it off, isn't it?
14:31I'm celibate.
14:32I'm fat and ugly with no chance of a pork moly, like.
14:35Sure.
14:35Thank you, Charlie.
14:36Get out.
14:37Go on.
14:37Get out.
14:43You haven't been celibate, Pats, though.
14:45Celibacy leaves a lot to be desired.
14:48Hello, darling.
14:52Now, this is my behalf, David.
14:54He's tagged along.
14:55He might just be of some use.
14:56Oh, hello.
14:57All right.
14:57Hi.
14:57Hi.
14:57So, long time nosy.
14:59Do you want a drink or something?
15:01Yeah, go on.
15:02I'll have a vodka then, please.
15:03David?
15:04Well.
15:04Oh, go on.
15:05Have a body.
15:06He'll have a vodka as well.
15:07I mean, it's not as if you've got to go to work this afternoon.
15:09He's unemployed.
15:10I'm keeping both of us at the moment.
15:12Living off my tips.
15:13He could have a job, of course.
15:15I'm not going back to that.
15:16I've told you.
15:17So, who's been doing you, then?
15:19Have you been off to that Nicky Clark, or is it that bottle?
15:22He started from nothing.
15:24Oh, you.
15:25You're a whore with your hair.
15:26Yeah, I'd like to add a tone to that.
15:28Why don't you pop in when you've got a second?
15:29All right.
15:29I'll have a look.
15:31He feels it's the right man for a job.
15:33I said that, didn't he?
15:34Yes.
15:34Well, then.
15:35Let's get down to business.
15:36All right.
15:36Give me that book.
15:38We've selected a few names, but you can tell us more what you're after.
15:41Right, honky.
15:42Now, there's Warren.
15:44He's blonde, sort of muscly.
15:46Might be a bit short for you, though.
15:48Is he straight?
15:49No, not entirely.
15:50Not at all.
15:51Not either.
15:51I think straight is essential.
15:53Yeah?
15:53Yeah?
15:54Yeah.
15:54It's all right.
15:55I just didn't know if I'm going to go the whole hog or not, you know.
15:57Oh, yeah.
15:57Yeah.
15:58Every bit of the hog.
15:59Yeah.
16:02Right.
16:03Tony?
16:04There's a nose ring.
16:05And who knows what else down below.
16:06Yes, no.
16:07You don't want that.
16:08No.
16:08Well, Jeff's nice.
16:10Not the muscle sort.
16:11He's a dancer.
16:12More of a mover, really.
16:13Not a dancer.
16:14Yeah, well, he trained as a dancer.
16:15Yeah, but he's always been just a mover.
16:17But at least we know he's straight.
16:19Oh, do we?
16:20Oh, yes.
16:22What does he look like?
16:23He's gorgeous, tan, low-light.
16:25It's a bit short of money, if you're ever so willing.
16:27He's very fit, though.
16:29I think I'll have him.
16:30We'll both have him, Eddie.
16:32Oh, OK.
16:33Right, who else have you got?
16:34Well, you'll need a contrast.
16:35I need another vodka, please.
16:36What about Fat Adam?
16:38No.
16:46I've got it on.
16:47Let's see what you think.
16:47Let's see what you think.
16:50Ready?
16:50Yeah.
16:54I'm giving some chance, Eddie.
16:55It's a bit...
16:55Well, what?
16:56What's your tartie?
16:57Well, I mean, it could be, but not on you.
16:59No.
17:01Well, it's just too blatant, is it?
17:02I mean, I don't want to seem like a pushover, you know.
17:03Darling, you're paying him.
17:04I mean, in his eyes, you're already flat on your back and staked out.
17:07No, I know.
17:08But the thing is, it's just a bit small.
17:11Oh.
17:12Oh, yeah, yeah.
17:13Well, I did get it when I thought it was going to be thinner, you know.
17:16So, darling, did you get me those things?
17:17Yes.
17:19I've got condoms and femidoms.
17:21Right.
17:24You open these?
17:25No.
17:26They don't put fingers on these gloves.
17:28No.
17:37Your fingers are in that other little package.
17:39Get out.
17:40Get out.
17:41They let the...
17:42They let the whole train anywhere.
17:45Can I just relax, Eddie?
17:47Relax, darling.
17:49She's been watching me.
17:49She's been watching me, darling.
17:50Hey, relax.
17:51Relax.
17:53You can still use those properly, can't you?
17:55Just change your frog.
17:56All right.
17:57Have a lot of other thing.
17:58Yeah, a little more sight.
17:59No, darling.
17:59I'm going to sit there.
18:00Scissors.
18:01Yes, scissors.
18:25So, Eddie, your little delivery of delicious goods has arrived.
18:32Oh, goodness, don't you look the part.
18:38Now, this is Geoff.
18:40He's our dancer.
18:41And this is Hilton, drama student, top of the line, cream of the crop.
18:44Fantastic.
18:45Hi, Hilton.
18:47I really like a girl with, you know, large breasts.
18:51Oh, you've scored there already.
18:56Won't I have a try?
18:56For God's sake, will you play it just a bit butcher, please?
18:59This is my reputation on the line.
19:01Have you got your stiffness, Bray?
19:03Stallion, yes.
19:06Well, will you please use it, then?
19:08So, boys, come over here and have a drink.
19:12Great.
19:13I'll leave you to it.
19:14All right.
19:14Is it all right if we kill a couple of minutes downstairs?
19:16Because they...
19:17Wait.
19:23Well, I'm sorry.
19:24It's the only wig I've got since the dog lies I'm in, Ellie.
19:27He's got an audition in half for now.
19:29He doesn't want to get there early.
19:30He's just a bit nervous.
19:30I'm embarrassed.
19:31We can go downstairs and wait downstairs.
19:32Okay.
19:33We'll sneak out.
19:33You won't even know we're here.
19:34Oh.
19:35So, Hilton, that's a pretty name.
19:37Oh, thanks.
19:38Sit down.
19:39For a pretty face.
19:40Thanks.
19:42Have you done this before?
19:44First time.
19:45Oh, well, then you're very lucky.
19:46You're in very experienced hands.
19:49Hey, has anyone ever told you you look a bit like Sean Connery?
19:58Hey, Hilt, if I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
20:02Shall we dance?
20:03I'll lead.
20:07No, no, no.
20:08Level it.
20:18Level it.
20:20Go on.
20:20Go on.
20:20Go on.
20:21Go on.
20:21Go on.
20:24So what's a guy like you doing in a place like this?
20:28Getting paid?
20:29Yes.
20:31Nice boots.
20:31You're touching their Chanel.
20:32Eddie, Eddie.
20:34So, Hilt, why don't you just relax?
20:35Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
20:36What?
20:37Darling, come over here.
20:38I've got a little something that you can sniff, you know, just to break the ice, get the ball rolling,
20:41okay?
20:50This bit's always the hardest.
21:02But don't worry, it'll wear off.
21:08That was the last time I knew that for you.
21:11I can't get to those puffers with these nails on.
21:14And maybe you'd rather I didn't wear the corset.
21:16Oh, God forbid.
21:17Bet lynch with the paunch.
21:22Would someone just give me a hand down?
21:25Oh, thank you, Pansy dear.
21:30Oh, it's supposed to just waft it under your nose.
21:32Oh, it's stopping now.
21:35It's stopping now.
21:36Oh, my God.
21:36Don't go off the boil, Eddie.
21:37All right, it's just not working for me, darling.
21:39How do you nearly finish the bottle?
21:41Hey, Hilt, Hilt.
21:42I hope you're not too attached to that shirt.
21:44I may have to rip it off your chest in a moment.
21:46See, how do you do that?
21:47What?
21:48Speak you do.
21:49How do you do that?
21:49Oh, they just love it.
21:52It just feels a little bit sordid, you know.
21:55I mean, I just don't feel very turned on by it.
21:58I don't even want them touching me.
21:59I don't even want them sitting on my furniture.
22:01Eddie, you say this.
22:02I know what I say, darling.
22:03What seemed like a good idea under the influence of razzle is one thing.
22:06But in reality, I'm sorry.
22:08Just sitting there with the feet on my carpet,
22:09drinking my drink with the skin and the hair.
22:13Actually, it's kicking in a bit now.
22:15It's kicking in.
22:17Eddie, all you need is a little mental amputation.
22:19Yeah, yeah.
22:19Listen, you know that video that I got?
22:21Oh, yeah.
22:22Yes, put that on the razzle with that one, Eddie.
22:24Now, look, get the blood drags out of your nose down again.
22:28Just throw your flesh onto that man.
22:32OK, boys, we're in for a little bit of fun here.
22:35Here's a bacterial center.
22:37It contains several double-stranded molecules of DNA.
22:47Pat?
22:48Eddie?
22:50So, darling, am I missing some kinky significance here?
22:53Eddie, what is this?
22:54This isn't it.
22:54What is this?
22:55Applied genetics.
22:56What?
22:57Applied genetics.
22:58What's he trying to say?
23:00What?
23:00Applied genetics.
23:02Applied genetics.
23:04Applied genetics.
23:05Hmm.
23:06Applied genetics.
23:06Applied genetics.
23:08I don't know what's that.
23:09Oh, my God, Eddie, come on.
23:10No, no, don't make it.
23:11Come on, sir.
23:12I'm just getting it right now.
23:19I couldn't think of anyone that I this high.
23:22I give you a very nice conquest.
23:24I was afraid I was afraid.
23:27How bad can it be for both of us?
23:29Bad, Eddie.
23:29Now, where is that bitch?
23:30I know that shit, university.
23:31I'm not sure what's going on, my sister.
23:32Well, where is it?
23:32You're not sure.
23:34I know, dear.
23:35You've got to come with us.
23:36Who's got a car?
23:36Who's got a car?
23:37I've got a car.
23:38I've got a car.
23:39I've got a car.
23:54I've got a car.
23:56It's so quick.
23:58Now, you mind that wig. Why don't you just stay in the car?
24:00I've not stayed here on me own.
24:01The plan is this. Get the tape, change the tape, go home.
24:05Continue the orgy.
24:06Continue the orgy.
24:07Put it through there, dear.
24:09Come on, baby.
24:13Look, everyone, split up!
24:15Split up!
24:17Slow down! This is the only sight I've got!
24:25That's the one that manages a blue movie. If it's that time, she did it.
24:29Eddie, trust me, just run!
24:34Run, I'd like to just get some of that slab off you.
24:36But what are we looking for?
24:37Oh, I don't know. We're just caught up in the drama.
24:39Run, run!
24:44This is just like a crystal maze.
24:46Oh, how would you know? I don't know, Eddie.
24:49Would this be any help, dear?
24:51A clue!
24:52What's up? What's up? What's up?
24:58Come on, Patsy, dear. We better talk.
25:02I hope you enjoy it and find it informative,
25:04and I think it'll give us plenty to talk about afterwards.
25:07Yes, I'm sure it will.
25:11It's okay, son.
25:13No, hold it, because that's quite good.
25:17Yeah, go on. Really go for it, kids.
25:20That's fantastic.
25:20It's Janie, isn't it?
25:22What ever happened to her?
25:23Enjoy us.
25:24I'm just about to find out.
25:26You're on the demo, but no, no, no, not just...
25:31Don't leave it on!
25:32It's a little bit of a piece of ice.
25:33It's nice.
25:35That's really great.
25:37Thanks, Ash.
25:38That's great. That's delicious.
25:39I'm going to be here.
25:41Trust you. You've missed the best, kids.
25:44Oh, that's fantastic.
25:45I'm only getting some action here.
25:46Give me some action.
25:47Come on, are you?
25:48Action, action.
25:49Okay, and I'm coming over now, and I'm going to a superstar.
26:15How did I ever think those curtains would go with that carpet?
26:18it.