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BRITCOM 4
  • 2 days ago

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00:00:02Daffy, it's me. Can I come in, darling?
00:00:04No, Mum, I've got to do my homework.
00:00:05Oh, sweetie, honestly.
00:00:09What are you doing hiding up here all on your own?
00:00:11People are going to be here soon.
00:00:14What do you think of this?
00:00:15Huntery bought it for me from Morocco.
00:00:18Oh, God, you'll never like anything that I want for work.
00:00:21Honestly.
00:00:22Look, I'm not modern. You wouldn't know, darling.
00:00:24Now, I've poured you a spritzer downstairs, so you must come down.
00:00:27I'm setting up for some sushi, darling.
00:00:29Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:00:30Jean-Pierre and Melissa are coming over, darling.
00:00:33Bettina's coming over and she's bringing her new jewellery collection
00:00:35that I want you to see, darling, and her son Cosimo, who you adore.
00:00:38I don't do darling.
00:00:39Oh, darling, he's an adonis, so come down and share a joint with us later.
00:00:43Oh, dear. Oh, dear, I'm so sorry.
00:00:46I measure drugs in front of my own daughter. I am so sorry.
00:00:49So some people choose to relax in one way, darling,
00:00:52and others in another. All right.
00:00:53No, the point is, Mum, it makes you into a treatment brain.
00:00:57Have you not read these Andy Warhol diaries that I bought for you?
00:01:00You must, sweetie. They're so funny.
00:01:03Oh, no! Oh, shit!
00:01:07Mother!
00:01:08Oh, God, darling, I promised Janie one of these for our office from the shop
00:01:13and they're stuck in buggery in Milan.
00:01:15Oh, bugger, bugger, bollocks, bollocks, darling!
00:01:18Can I borrow this one and give it to her, sweetie?
00:01:21It's my birthday, darling.
00:01:21No, please, darling, can I?
00:01:23Thank you, darling, thank you.
00:01:26Oh, God, the car's in the garage.
00:01:28My bloody father's dying.
00:01:30It's got to come at a worse time for me.
00:01:31I just don't...
00:01:32Leave him.
00:01:40Are you happy, Pushkin?
00:01:42Yes, I'm fine, Mum.
00:01:43I've just got to finish his handbook.
00:01:44I know, I know.
00:01:45Chut, chut, chut, chut.
00:01:49Oh, why don't you come to Greece with us this year, darling?
00:01:52Mum, I've already told you I really don't want to go, OK?
00:01:56OK?
00:02:00Don't, Mum.
00:02:01Is it because?
00:02:01Don't.
00:02:03I mean it, Mum.
00:02:04Don't.
00:02:07Is it because you don't want to be seen in a swimsuit, darling?
00:02:10No!
00:02:11Is it, darling?
00:02:13It's me.
00:02:15I just think you'd be a lot happier if you shed a few stone, darling.
00:02:19No, no, you'd be a lot happier.
00:02:21I thought, wait, it wasn't supposed to matter.
00:02:23It's personality that matters, isn't it?
00:02:28Oh, God.
00:02:29I mean, I'd pay for you, sweetie.
00:02:31Oh, you could go to that lovely man who does the injections.
00:02:34What about that, darling?
00:02:35You know, I think he does Fergie.
00:02:37I don't know.
00:02:37But it must be safe, sweetie.
00:02:39Just a few little injections, darling, wouldn't hurt.
00:02:42Oh, come on.
00:02:44You've got beautiful hair.
00:02:46You've got to have a perm or something.
00:02:48And you've got a lovely face.
00:02:49Everyone says what a lovely face you've got, darling.
00:02:54You could go to a health farm, couldn't we, darling, for a week or something?
00:02:57Oh, let's go to Champneys for a week and be devils.
00:02:59Come on, darling, please.
00:03:09Right on time.
00:03:13Right on time.
00:03:15Sweetie.
00:03:16Right on time.
00:03:18Sweetie.
00:03:19Right on time.
00:03:29Is that my Rolex you're wearing?
00:03:31What?
00:03:31Is that my Rolex you're wearing?
00:03:33Yes, you said I could borrow it.
00:03:34I did not say you could borrow it.
00:03:36That's mine, that is.
00:03:37That's mine.
00:03:38It's very expensive and I never said you could borrow it.
00:03:41You're right.
00:03:42I'm looking for that.
00:03:46Oh, my God.
00:03:52I think we should get a help, don't you?
00:03:55Veronica says we should get a Filipino because they work like buggers and cost flapper.
00:03:59I don't know.
00:04:01Oh, Mum.
00:04:03Look at me with your father's eyes.
00:04:06It is possible to be a socialist and have staff, you know, darling.
00:04:17Have you seen the bastard recently, hmm?
00:04:19Are you referring to Dad?
00:04:20Oh, Dad, Dad.
00:04:21Give him a little title to justify his puny existence.
00:04:24Why don't you, Dad?
00:04:25Yes, I saw him yesterday.
00:04:26Well, I don't know why you don't just bloody live with a bloody prick full time since you seem to
00:04:30bloody love him so bloody much.
00:04:31I don't want to ever care what I think about.
00:04:33You'll never get to my feelings, darling.
00:04:35Well, buy that, buy that bollocks, darling.
00:04:39Mum, could you please stop swearing?
00:04:42It's not clever, it's not funny, and nobody is in the slightest bit impressed.
00:04:51I'm sorry, sweetie.
00:04:59Oh, Adriana needs a cuddle.
00:05:02Well, hard left.
00:05:05Bitch.
00:05:08Look, I'm just trying to talk to you, darling.
00:05:11All right.
00:05:12Talk.
00:05:13Come here, Pushkin.
00:05:14Now I can talk completely.
00:05:16Here, Pushkin.
00:05:17Here, here, here.
00:05:18Here, Adriana, here.
00:05:21Darling.
00:05:22Oh, sweetie.
00:05:25It's about university, darling.
00:05:27What?
00:05:29Well, do you have to go?
00:05:31Yes, I do.
00:05:32Oh, God.
00:05:34What do you have to do, physics, darling?
00:05:36Couldn't you do just one little art subject?
00:05:39Then you could come and help me in the shop, sweetie.
00:05:42I mean, what am I supposed to do at parties?
00:05:45Take you around saying, here's my daughter, the bloody old scientist, and let's all talk
00:05:48about chemicals and test tubes all evening?
00:05:51I don't want a fat old daddy spinster for a daughter, darling.
00:05:54Nobody's going to want you.
00:05:56Have you quite finished?
00:05:59Where is it you're going?
00:06:02Aberdeen.
00:06:02Aber bloody Dean!
00:06:04I don't know anybody in Aber bloody Dean, darling.
00:06:10What am I going to do?
00:06:12Hmm?
00:06:12What am I going to do without you here?
00:06:14You're the only person who knows how to find the coffee in the morning.
00:06:16I'm hopeless at that.
00:06:17You know that, sweetie.
00:06:18I mean, honestly, it's just too bloody awful.
00:06:20I'm never going to cope.
00:06:22Mum, I'm getting you something to such a state.
00:06:25You've got loads of friends here who'll look after you.
00:06:28Why can't you be happy I'm going to university like everybody else's mother?
00:06:34Look, if you can't cope after a few months, I'll come back and look after you.
00:06:38Why can't you speak to me?
00:06:39Yes.
00:06:40Oh, darling.
00:06:41Thank you, darling.
00:06:45You will come down later, won't you, treasure?
00:06:48Thank you for this as well.
00:06:50Oh, darling, darling.
00:06:52If you come down in this food, would you not eat anything?
00:06:55I've told everyone you're on a diet.
00:06:56Just don't.
00:06:59Mum?
00:06:59Yes, darling?
00:07:00Can you turn down the music, please?
00:07:02Yes, of course.
00:07:02Yes, of course.
00:07:03Oh, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am.
00:07:04Come here, please.
00:07:06What?
00:07:08I looked in your bedside table.
00:07:09You've run out, haven't you?
00:07:10Oh.
00:07:11Is Jean-Pierre staying tonight?
00:07:13Hoping.
00:07:14God.
00:07:15Well, I've got you some more from the chemist.
00:07:19Use them this time.
00:07:21Sure, I wouldn't be able to cope, darling, would I?
00:07:23Thank you, sweetie.
00:07:31I do this.
00:07:32You stay and talk to them.
00:07:33I don't think so.
00:07:40Morning.
00:07:41Hello, death.
00:07:42Hello, oblivion.
00:07:44What time is it?
00:07:45Ten.
00:07:46Oh, God.
00:07:46I'd better be off.
00:07:47Can you hold it there, please?
00:07:48Oh, thank you.
00:07:50Who was it you were with last night, anyway?
00:07:53Oh, he was just a windscreen wiper.
00:07:54I, um, I picked up.
00:07:55That's wrong.
00:07:56I'm sorry.
00:07:56I'll have to do it.
00:07:57It's a good joke and I fucked it up.
00:07:59I'm sorry.
00:08:02I'm so sorry.
00:08:04I'm sorry, Bob.
00:08:05It's because she's had most of that bottle already.
00:08:08Do you like them or not?
00:08:09I like them if they're La Croix.
00:08:11Well, they are.
00:08:12I like them.
00:08:13Thank you, sweetie.
00:08:14They're lovely.
00:08:16Forgotten the line completely.
00:08:22Oh, the champagne.
00:08:24Oh, my God.
00:08:25Sorry.
00:08:27I take it you wanted chocolate croissant, then?
00:08:29A pan au chocolat, we call it in this house, darling.
00:08:32No, no, no.
00:08:32I'll just nibble a corner of yours.
00:08:34Anyway, there's only one thing to be done,
00:08:36but I haven't got my phone.
00:08:41Sorry about that.
00:08:43Just the props.
00:08:46I tried to improvise with my hand,
00:08:47but I thought, no, that's a giveaway.
00:08:53Oh, she's worried about a cigarette.
00:08:56Actress panic.
00:08:57Actress panic.
00:08:58It's good for me.
00:09:01Props, props, props.
00:09:03Continued.
00:09:06I feel better.
00:09:09I am thin and gorgeous.
00:09:12I am thin.
00:09:14Ah!
00:09:28I'll take your life.
00:09:30Smile, I know.
00:09:31I can't see you now.
00:09:34Sweetie darling, concentrate. I'm over here. Here, look at me.
00:09:38Stand by, you're still recording.
00:09:39We need somebody here, right, Amor.
00:09:41Just tight.
00:09:42Oh, tight.
00:09:45Never let it be said that I'm one who bears a grudge.
00:09:48Poor you. Poor you.
00:09:50Poor old you.
00:10:00I'm not drinking, you see, at the moment.
00:10:03These are all little props. They have to do it at great expense.
00:10:05They have to empty all the champagne out, put in fizzy water.
00:10:07Because I've given up drinking for Lent.
00:10:09Ah yes, I'm the one who's big!
00:10:11Can I start again, please?
00:10:14So many little things from your shop, I said.
00:10:17Because I'm not really drunk.
00:10:21Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
00:10:27Mmm.
00:10:29Sorry.
00:10:34Kyo.
00:10:36Mmm.
00:10:38Ooh.
00:10:41Mmm.
00:10:45I'm sorry.
00:10:47Sorry, I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to do that.
00:10:52I can't do that.
00:10:53Stop it.
00:10:56I can't do that.
00:11:00I can't do that.
00:11:03Mm.
00:11:05Mmm.
00:11:07Mmm, mmm, hmm.
00:11:09Mer, mmm, mmm.
00:11:09Oh, mm, mmm, mmm.
00:11:14We are getting it, we've got it much closer.
00:11:17Yeah, you have to.
00:11:19Is this a left-hand drive or a right-hand drive car?
00:11:22I mean, if I'm in England, which hand do I...
00:11:24I don't drive in England, what am I talking about?
00:11:26If that's there, I should be on the right-hand side of the road, should I?
00:11:30You want me to drive?
00:11:31Oh, well, so speaks the woman whose head has been lulling around
00:11:33like a bladder on a stick for the...
00:11:37Is this a left-hand drive or a right-hand drive?
00:11:39I mean, if I'm in England, which hand do I even drive in England?
00:11:41What am I talking about? I don't even know.
00:11:43I should be on the right-hand side of the road, should I?
00:11:45Look, do you want me to drive?
00:11:47Well, so speaks the woman whose head has been lulling around
00:11:49like a bladder on a stick for the hour.
00:11:51Oh, shit!
00:11:53It's lovely here.
00:11:55It's lovely, yes, isn't it?
00:11:59How can you not be enjoying it?
00:12:01It's so peaceful, Amelia.
00:12:07It's lovely, yeah.
00:12:10How can you not be enjoying it?
00:12:12It's peaceful and...
00:12:17I'm glad because I went lovely out.
00:12:18It's because I had to get up so early, Bob.
00:12:20Yeah, alright.
00:12:21In whatever order you want.
00:12:24Here we go.
00:12:25Because I'm not sticking to the script.
00:12:27Leave airport, turn right.
00:12:28Blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:12:29Turn right, turn right.
00:12:30Okay, get in.
00:12:31Turn right.
00:12:32She's on left.
00:12:33It's right the same in advance, will it be left?
00:12:40Yeah, we're going back.
00:12:43Can't go.
00:12:44Can't go.
00:12:46Can't go.
00:12:49Go ahead.
00:12:49We're going back to the airport.
00:12:50We're not going back to the airport.
00:12:56shit
00:12:59I wouldn't have to go left, would I?
00:13:02Are you talking?
00:13:04I asked you a question
00:13:05We're going back to the bloody airport
00:13:07We're not going back to the airport
00:13:09Ed, get a grip
00:13:10Shit
00:13:13I can see it should be fun, darling
00:13:14I mean, I know it should be fun
00:13:17It's just like
00:13:18You know, it's like a secret
00:13:19Sorry, it's just
00:13:23You want to drop a tab of ecstasy?
00:13:26No, darling, I'm not with Saffy here
00:13:29No, no, no, no, no, no
00:13:31I mean, I've completely forgotten
00:13:33What I have to say
00:13:34Just absolutely not
00:13:36I can't remember what the line is
00:13:38I knew she was there
00:13:40They don't care about her
00:13:41I knew she was there
00:13:42I have an actress beside her
00:13:43I worked with Pinter last year
00:13:53Darling, it's beginning to show
00:13:56Did we call Diana Riggs' agent or not?
00:13:58We left with her
00:13:59No, it's not available
00:14:00I know
00:14:03Right, I'm off
00:14:04Are we eating?
00:14:05What after?
00:14:06Yes, whatever you like, darling
00:14:07French, Italian
00:14:22Round of applause
00:14:23Did all the models turn up?
00:14:26Yeah, every single one
00:14:27Good
00:14:28Except one
00:14:31Except one
00:14:32You're not going to tell me it's Yasmin
00:14:33Yes
00:14:35Who?
00:14:36My mum
00:14:38We'll be sending in a speech therapist
00:14:40In a moment
00:14:40Right, now
00:14:41Bubble
00:14:43Get me
00:14:43And hold it there
00:14:44Thank God
00:14:45I forgot what I was going to say
00:14:48I am going down in history, Pat
00:14:50As the woman
00:14:51That put Princess Anne
00:14:52In a Vivienne Westwood Basque
00:14:55It's going to be the most fabulous
00:14:56Fashion event ever
00:14:57Celebrities from all over the world
00:15:00Jerry, Marie, Paloma
00:15:02All the top French and Italian models
00:15:04Ten Yasmin Labons
00:15:06Every designer in the whole world
00:15:08It's going to be the most fabulous
00:15:09Fashion event ever
00:15:11Everything is perfectly under control
00:15:13It's going to be the most fabulous
00:15:15Fashion event ever
00:15:16Celebrities from all over the world
00:15:17We know that, darling
00:15:18I've walked every model in the world
00:15:20Yes, we know that, darling
00:15:21But what about the party?
00:15:22That is completely under control
00:15:23We've moved Stonehenge for Tent in Hyde Park
00:15:27Should we get permission for that, darling?
00:15:29They were very happy for us to use it
00:15:31As long as it's back from the summer solstice
00:15:32You can't realise how important the fashion industry is to this country
00:15:36Exactly
00:15:38What are you going to wear for the party?
00:15:39I don't know, Bubble
00:15:41What are you wearing at the moment, Adina?
00:15:43I'm not wearing anything, Bubble
00:15:44I'm completely naked
00:15:45I don't know why
00:15:47I don't want to wear anything that isn't completely happening
00:15:49What are the kids into?
00:15:51This is what the kids are into
00:15:54This is what's happening
00:16:02Johnny, darling
00:16:03How's everything going?
00:16:04Terrific
00:16:05Everything's going absolutely perfectly
00:16:14But I simply haven't got anything, Seventies
00:16:24Round collars and flats
00:16:39You stupid, sad old cow
00:16:42Oh, shut up
00:16:43You look fabulous
00:16:47I can't go to the party
00:16:49I'm going to have to kill myself
00:16:52You'll never get through all that flesh with those
00:16:58Hack off my tits
00:16:59Hack off my tits
00:17:01I'm having a nervous breakdown
00:17:02A nervous breakdown
00:17:03I'm a sinew on a stick
00:17:05I'm a nerve end about to ping into insanity
00:17:08Johnny, darling
00:17:09I have been exposed to hideous facelifts on shoulder pads
00:17:13Those bitch buyers at Bloomingdale's have told me my creations aren't wearable
00:17:17Come here, you pussy
00:17:20Unwearable?
00:17:21I am an artist
00:17:22An artist
00:17:23These are my canvases
00:17:24I am not some blind, tart seamstress
00:17:27Huddled over her fabric
00:17:28In the Bride of the loyne
00:17:29These are to be worshipped
00:17:31Worshipped
00:17:31Did they ask Da Vinci for washing instructions?
00:17:35Did they ask Picasso for zips?
00:17:38I'm going to do what every good Buddhist should do
00:17:40I'm going to set myself alight
00:17:41Darling
00:17:42Johnny, darling
00:17:44You're an artist
00:17:45You're a genius
00:17:46You're a creator
00:17:46Look at your clothes
00:17:47They're fabulous, darling
00:17:48You're an elevator
00:17:50Just put a little zip
00:17:52With the washing instructions for me
00:17:55Oh, all right
00:17:55You're so good for me
00:18:01Spineful bitch
00:18:04And coming up later after nine
00:18:06We've got our dog spot
00:18:08With our regular doctor
00:18:09Who's not actually so regular
00:18:10I haven't seen him for
00:18:11Oh, apparently
00:18:12Yes, I interviewed him yesterday
00:18:14He is quite regular
00:18:15Dr. Sherry Jones
00:18:16Who will be sharing with us
00:18:18Some of his own personal health problems
00:18:19That'll be lovely
00:18:21And
00:18:22Letter on
00:18:23After that
00:18:24Yes, now
00:18:25The letter
00:18:26Where are the letters?
00:18:27Letter spot here
00:18:29Yes, I've had a letter here
00:18:31From a Mr Cowan
00:18:31Who says that he has
00:18:33Just lost his dear lady wife
00:18:34She was a lovely woman
00:18:36He writes
00:18:37And when she died
00:18:38He felt a light had gone out
00:18:41Oh
00:18:42When she died
00:18:43The light had gone out
00:18:44Oh
00:18:44It's very sad
00:18:46She loved flowers
00:18:49On the bright side
00:18:50I'm sure there were
00:18:51Lots of lovely floral tributes
00:18:53At the funeral
00:18:54I hope
00:18:57Anyway
00:19:01Sorry
00:19:02Oh, God
00:19:03I thought we'd get straight through this scene
00:19:04But no
00:19:05Takes it back
00:19:07I'm sorry
00:19:08I'm so sorry
00:19:09It's just June tripping
00:19:10I just
00:19:10There you go
00:19:11Well
00:19:12I can't even get it
00:19:22Sorry
00:19:22Sorry
00:19:23Sorry
00:19:26Once again, please
00:19:27So you've been dead all
00:19:29This happened to us all
00:19:29Once in a while
00:19:30But it's not the money, Eddie
00:19:32It's the horrible realisation
00:19:33That I must have
00:19:34Actually enjoyed
00:19:35Playing ping pong
00:19:48I mean, there's a nomadic tribe
00:19:51In the northern African desert
00:19:52That will be travelling
00:19:53A very light this winter
00:19:54Thanks to Bettina
00:19:55Also, sweetie
00:19:56Remember to stamp
00:19:57Greenpeace approved
00:20:03Come on, sweetie
00:20:04Wake up
00:20:04Try and concentrate, darling
00:20:06Come on
00:20:06Now, look
00:20:07I am going to be in France
00:20:08For a whole week
00:20:09And I'm counting on you to cope
00:20:11There is only one
00:20:12Now, listen
00:20:16Listen, sweetie
00:20:18Now
00:20:18I am going to be in France
00:20:19For a whole week
00:20:20And I'm counting on you to cope
00:20:21And there is only one thing
00:20:22That you have to concentrate on
00:20:23This
00:20:27You're in
00:20:34I've got some lovely cooking pots
00:20:35Coming in from Somalia
00:20:36I mean, they don't need them
00:20:37I've got no food
00:20:37To put in them after all
00:20:39Also, sweetie
00:20:40Best news of all, darling
00:20:41You know those villages
00:20:42That were deserted by the Kurds
00:20:44And bought the entire contents
00:20:45Oh, well done
00:20:45I know, I know
00:20:46The trucks are moving in
00:20:48Coups, disasters, revolutions
00:20:50Are all bargain basements to you
00:20:51They're happy camping, darling
00:20:52Don't be sensitive about it
00:20:56So, Pats, what are you doing today?
00:20:58Sorry
00:21:01Sorry
00:21:05Coups, revolutions, disasters
00:21:07They're all bargain basements to you
00:21:08Darling, they're happy camping
00:21:10Now, Pats
00:21:11What are you going to do today?
00:21:13Oh, shit
00:21:20Oh, my God
00:21:21Hello, Pats
00:21:22How are you?
00:21:22I like your business about the MPs
00:21:24Still the hello thing
00:21:25Should sort all that out
00:21:26Right, I've got to make this quick
00:21:27I've got a laundry opening
00:21:28And a feminine wash to launch
00:21:29To get to by six
00:21:30And all this with my extended
00:21:31Working champagne lunch
00:21:32With an Ouska bloody ample
00:21:33Floating about here
00:21:34Right
00:21:34This month, I want articles
00:21:36On our lovely
00:21:37Oh, fuck it
00:21:38Oh, no
00:21:45These are pathetic
00:21:49See what else?
00:21:51See that one?
00:21:51No, no, no
00:21:52Look, darling
00:21:53Pond
00:22:00Schizophrenia
00:22:02They're fantastic
00:22:04How can you upmarket those?
00:22:06Well, Pats is going to put them
00:22:07In a photo shoot for a magazine
00:22:08And there's a new ad, sweetie
00:22:09Which is mainly my idea
00:22:10Mainly my great idea
00:22:11My original idea
00:22:12Do you know what it is?
00:22:15Do you know what my idea is?
00:22:16No
00:22:19Well, that's the end of the story
00:22:20If you don't know
00:22:21You broke the computer
00:22:24Yeah
00:22:26When?
00:22:27No, stop, stop, stop
00:22:28Get us
00:22:30Well, you broke the computer
00:22:31Yeah
00:22:32When?
00:22:32Who can say
00:22:35Now, listen, you ruddy
00:22:36Ruddy
00:22:37Braimless
00:22:37Brimbrow
00:22:38I'm not ruddy
00:22:40Brimbringer
00:22:41I hope you refuse to pay him
00:22:43This time, darling
00:22:43Who's one of your account cab
00:22:50I'm acting, yeah
00:22:52I'm looking at the title
00:22:59That's a bombay mix
00:23:04Listen to my miss funny voice, darling
00:23:05Isn't this?
00:23:06Bombay mix
00:23:09Come on, sweetie
00:23:11Why didn't you tell me about him, darling?
00:23:12Because I didn't want you to know about it, all right?
00:23:15I want to be your friend
00:23:16No
00:23:17I'm your friend, Ellie
00:23:18You don't need her
00:23:22I've just forgotten what I'm going to say
00:23:24I can't tell you
00:23:24It's exciting
00:23:25It's exciting, I know
00:23:29It's bombay mix
00:23:32Isn't the mummy's funny voice again, darling?
00:23:34Bombay mix
00:23:38Why didn't you tell me about him, darling?
00:23:40Because I didn't want you to know about it, all right?
00:23:43Oh, shit, oh, shit
00:23:45I mean, it's like living in a small regional branch of mother bloody care, darling
00:23:53Hmm?
00:23:56Do I say anything else here?
00:23:57Something, yes
00:23:58I don't remember what it was
00:24:00Well, at least Gran loved you
00:24:02I know you never know
00:24:03Oh, shit
00:24:06Well, at least Gran wanted you
00:24:08I know you never
00:24:09No, that's not it
00:24:10Is it?
00:24:13Well, at least Gran loved you
00:24:15I know you never want
00:24:16Oh, fuck
00:24:19Can I just forget it?
00:24:21Come on, come on, keep with it
00:24:24Good flag
00:24:25If we're doing it again
00:24:27It'll be funnier, funnier, funnier
00:24:30If I have to chop my bloody foot off
00:24:35Sorry
00:24:42Bloody hell
00:24:44Not another no-smoking cab, Pats
00:24:47They must see you coming these days
00:24:48Bloody bastard asthmatic cab driver
00:24:56Well, I hope you refuse to pay him this time
00:24:58It was one of your account eds
00:25:01Shit
00:25:04They make me do this because I have to just smoke packets
00:25:07I've actually given up smoking
00:25:09So I find these lines very difficult
00:25:11It's good for you
00:25:13Perhaps she won't be around for the next series
00:25:18Machine room next!
00:25:19Clear, clear, clear, clear
00:25:21I'll just say hello and then I'll go
00:25:22No, no, no, I'm not going to say hello
00:25:23You just get me here
00:25:24That's okay, so hold your bag close
00:25:26When they come, you go
00:25:28Hi
00:25:29Hi
00:25:30Hi
00:25:31Hi
00:25:31Hi
00:25:32Hi
00:25:33Hi
00:25:33Hi
00:25:34Go, go
00:25:35Go, go
00:25:36Oh, go, go
00:25:37Max, look, can you bring me the other cloth?
00:25:39Where is it?
00:25:40Um, blue bag
00:25:40Um, not the Terry one
00:25:42You know that one that was near the bottle warmer
00:25:45By the, uh, playpen thing
00:25:48You used it on the plane
00:25:51No, I didn't
00:25:52Christ
00:25:52Max, we only had those four bags
00:25:55And the Moses basket on the plane
00:26:03It's all right, it's all right
00:26:04I wish I could, but I can't see it from here
00:26:11I can't see it
00:26:12I can't see it
00:26:13Oh, ma
00:26:14Yes, again
00:26:15Oh, no
00:26:18See you next
00:26:19Clear, clear, clear, clear
00:26:21I'll just say hello and then I'll go
00:26:32No, come here, come here
00:26:50Come here, come here
00:26:50You'll stand fat against that wall
00:26:52Hold your bag and then
00:26:53When they come in, you go.
00:26:56Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!
00:27:04Dad, could you bring me that other cloth?
00:27:07Where is it?
00:27:08Um, Bluebird. Oh!
00:27:14My emotional props gone.
00:27:17All we asked for was someone who could smoke, carry a baby, do the lines,
00:27:20and be funny, isn't that too much for us?
00:27:24What's she doing here?
00:27:25Oof!
00:27:26I was just passing, dear.
00:27:29Goodness, you're looking young.
00:27:32I forgot my life.
00:27:35I think someone wasn't quite happy with their hotel trip.
00:27:38We just saw you put a camera down in, so if you look...
00:27:41Just saw me doing what?
00:27:42The glitz of the camera.
00:27:43Oh, cos I'd never been on telly before.
00:27:44I know.
00:27:46I can't know.
00:27:50I take it someone wasn't quite happy with their hotel, treasure.
00:27:53Bog standard four-star chain.
00:27:57Shit.
00:27:58Obviously, I think this job's wasted on you.
00:28:02Free worldwide travel in excuse for ill bollocks, I'm sorry.
00:28:07I take it someone wasn't quite happy with their hotel, treasure.
00:28:12Bog standard four-star chain.
00:28:15Shit.
00:28:17Honestly, darling, I think this job's wasted on you.
00:28:19A couple of...
00:28:22A couple of bollocks.
00:28:24A couple of bollocks.
00:28:24A couple of bollocks.
00:28:25Worldwide.
00:28:26Let me go to Morocco.
00:28:28No!
00:28:28Why not? Let me go to Morocco.
00:28:29We're going to Marrakesh.
00:28:31This little scud from hell is trying to...
00:28:34What?
00:28:35What?
00:28:35What?
00:28:36That was her only line.
00:28:37I fell in.
00:28:37I'm sorry.
00:28:40Hello?
00:28:43Hello?
00:28:45Have you got a...
00:28:46Have you got Twilight Poil and Madame...
00:28:49Mademoiselle?
00:28:54Look, who's going to hold somewhere?
00:28:56Come on, Eddie, over there.
00:28:59Come on.
00:29:00Why is it trying it?
00:29:07Sorry, Nick.
00:29:08Okay, again.
00:29:21Sorry about this. It's not me.
00:29:23I'm ready.
00:29:25God, honestly, I hate the felt, the stench, the heat, the flies.
00:29:29I mean, that's the last time I ever stepped foot in that toilet bowl of northern Africa.
00:29:33I mean, how dare they spit at me?
00:29:35The nation that has a pillowcase with a...
00:29:37Oh, hello.
00:29:40I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:29:43Try and get a fright, will you?
00:29:48Local?
00:29:51Local anaesthetic? Are you mad?
00:29:54God, I don't know what I say now.
00:30:03Why are these remedy bottles all...
00:30:05No, that's not it.
00:30:08And that's John Clowning's fault.
00:30:11It's the first time she's ever had to say that line, and I think she deserves some applause.
00:30:21Do you want us to be poor?
00:30:23You mean you'll be poor?
00:30:25That's got you worried.
00:30:27Look, we cannot allow you to cut him off, Eddie.
00:30:31I'm sorry.
00:30:32I'm sorry.
00:30:32I've seen the cigarettes with a woman.
00:30:36Do you want us to be poor?
00:30:38You mean you'll be poor?
00:30:40That's got you worried.
00:30:42We simply cannot allow you to cut us off, Ed.
00:30:44That's not right, is it?
00:30:46How can I sometimes get these lines right?
00:30:48You know, I got an award for getting lines right.
00:30:52We simply cannot allow them to cut us off.
00:30:54We simply cannot allow them to cut us off.
00:30:56This is a lovely, funny line when I say it, you know.
00:31:06Malcolm and I just frightened her into slimming everything down a bit.
00:31:09Oh, she's not a great slimmer, sweetie.
00:31:11I mean, she could eat air and put on weight.
00:31:13Yes, well, I intend to keep in...
00:31:17It's no fun now, you know, darling.
00:31:20No excuses.
00:31:23None of that.
00:31:24None of that.
00:31:28That's my flowers, that's business.
00:31:31Full leg and bikini wax.
00:31:34Have you been sending him these, darling?
00:31:37I've got no privacy.
00:31:39Have you been working your...
00:31:44Is she?
00:31:48It was very good for me as well.
00:31:51We sell to Japan, don't we?
00:31:53I mean, getting down on a futon is one thing,
00:31:55but getting up is getting up.
00:32:00You're giving up who?
00:32:04Can I just zip up my sub-trop thing?
00:32:06Can you just give me time to do that?
00:32:07Or the camera's not really watching me at that point.
00:32:09When will she ever stop?
00:32:13What's the age of retirement for people these days?
00:32:16What do you think, darling?
00:32:17Look, look, look, what do you think?
00:32:19It's an Eskimo Papoose.
00:32:22Well, I'm going to be honest here, darling.
00:32:24Any chance for a quick...
00:32:24No, no.
00:32:29Shall I pick it up and show it to me?
00:32:33What do you think of this, darling?
00:32:34Oh, I wasn't ready.
00:32:35Sorry.
00:32:40What do you think of this, sweetie?
00:32:41What do you think of this?
00:32:42Huh?
00:32:42Huh?
00:32:43What's an Eskimo Papoose, darling?
00:32:46I don't look like that.
00:32:47Any chance for a quick buck in the Arctic
00:32:49to take my babies out into the floor?
00:32:50What do you think of this, darling?
00:32:54I wasn't ready.
00:32:58God, go on, just get out.
00:32:59Very well.
00:33:00Goodbye, dear.
00:33:01Bye, Brian.
00:33:01Oh, by the way...
00:33:06Is that a stop?
00:33:08Oh, I thought somebody said stop.
00:33:12It's very low, the buzzer.
00:33:13You can't really hear it.
00:33:14No, I don't.
00:33:15I think it's not done.
00:33:22And finally, Mrs. Monsu...
00:33:23Can I just say one word in my defence?
00:33:25I don't think that's a good idea, Mum.
00:33:26Your mouth is working for the prosecution.
00:33:28Shut up, darling.
00:33:29This is what I well...
00:33:30This is what I well do, darling.
00:33:32Do.
00:33:33Standing by.
00:33:35I forgot what I was going to say.
00:33:38My God, woman!
00:33:39What have you done?
00:33:40What?
00:33:40What?
00:33:41What?
00:33:50What's going on, darling?
00:33:51What's going on?
00:33:52She's not in character yet.
00:33:53Can you just get in character?
00:34:05Okay, stand by.
00:34:07Here we go.
00:34:07Here we go.
00:34:16I'll look at your silky, shiny hair.
00:34:17I won't look at you, all right?
00:34:22She told me you had a tattoo on your unspeakable.
00:34:25Really?
00:34:26Didn't I?
00:34:26Unmentionable.
00:34:27That could be anywhere on her.
00:34:30I'm going upstairs.
00:34:31I've got some work to do.
00:34:33Oh, yes.
00:34:33So, darling, before you go, look.
00:34:35Just...
00:34:41I can't see it because of the blind.
00:34:42I can't see the idiot card because of the blind.
00:34:45No, you're going to understand.
00:34:46I've got a very complicated thing to say now.
00:34:48Okay?
00:34:48Do you want to replace that card?
00:34:50Well, it could be anywhere on there.
00:34:51Can it just be here?
00:34:53Can it just be on the wall here?
00:34:54Just pop it down here.
00:34:56Just here.
00:34:57Just here.
00:35:00I'm going upstairs.
00:35:01I've got some work to do.
00:35:02Well, darling, before you go, you know tomorrow I've got the PRPR person's awards dinner of the lunch month.
00:35:10I'm going upstairs.
00:35:11I've got some work to do.
00:35:12Well, darling, before you go, can you help me?
00:35:14You know tomorrow I've got the PRPR person's awards dinner of the lunch month.
00:35:21I'm supposed to be looking at her and reading it there.
00:35:24Just straight.
00:35:24Just a straight.
00:35:25Well, that could be anywhere on her.
00:35:27I'm going upstairs.
00:35:27I've got some work to do.
00:35:28Oh, shit.
00:35:29I forgot my mouth.
00:35:39I'm going upstairs.
00:35:44I've got some work to do.
00:35:45I'm going upstairs.
00:35:46Before you go, listen.
00:35:47Can you help me?
00:35:47You know tomorrow I've got the PRPR person's awards dinner of the lunch month.
00:35:50Oh, shit.
00:35:55Oh, shit.
00:35:56Oh, shit.
00:35:56Oh, shit.
00:35:57Oh, shit.
00:35:57Oh, shit.
00:35:58Oh, shit.
00:35:58Oh, shit.
00:36:01Oh, shit.
00:36:03Oh, shit.
00:36:10Oh, shit.
00:36:11Oh, shit.
00:36:16Oh, shit.
00:36:19Oh, shit.
00:36:25You know what you're doing.
00:36:26Oh, shit.
00:36:27Oh, shit.
00:36:29Long enough to get a small hatchback convertible and he...
00:36:34We got her eventually.
00:36:36Three series, but we got her.
00:36:39Bad skin anorak tote bag. It was an easy mistake to make.
00:36:44No.
00:36:45No. What?
00:36:46That's... I should say.
00:36:47Oh, no.
00:36:54Squatting is against the law.
00:36:56She changed her locks and was using my credit card.
00:36:59She's lucky not to be... It's luckily not locked.
00:37:03Squatting is against the law.
00:37:05She changed the locks and was using my credit card.
00:37:07She's lucky not to have been sent down.
00:37:13Cut her off.
00:37:14Sorry, that came a bit late.
00:37:16Sorry, that was horrible.
00:37:17It normally goes better than this. I'm so sorry about this.
00:37:20You know, the mother and the son, the cord is never really cut, darling.
00:37:24He's not coming back, you know, Mum.
00:37:25It may be stretched to the limit at the moment, darling,
00:37:27but at any moment, and when he least expects it, it will...
00:37:30I've forgotten the word.
00:37:35Sorry.
00:37:36Oh, box!
00:37:42She hasn't done that right yet.
00:37:43She gets it right.
00:37:44Thank you, Simon.
00:37:45Sorry, darling, that happened.
00:37:47Sorry, everybody.
00:37:50Oh, shit.
00:37:51Careful, it's running.
00:37:53Oh, Ziggy!
00:37:55Hang on, hang on, hang on.
00:37:56I'm going to blackout, blackout.
00:37:57Oh, get your cigarette out, boy.
00:37:59God, continuity this time.
00:38:00Very little.
00:38:09Okay, here we go.
00:38:10I'm sorry, I'm down to...
00:38:11I'm down to stub.
00:38:12Stub.
00:38:14Hang on.
00:38:14She's down to a prank.
00:38:15I was back to a bad ear.
00:38:17Here we go, babe.
00:38:17Here, I'm with you.
00:38:18All right, all right, all right.
00:38:19Come on.
00:38:19Move it in, move it in, move it in.
00:38:21All right, darling.
00:38:21Got it, got it, got it, got it.
00:38:23You did say PRN.
00:38:25Oh, yeah.
00:38:26Oh, God, I've been rushed off my feet.
00:38:28Do you know, book launches, bands, Ralph Lauren, Donna Klein, Donna, fucking...
00:38:32Pffft.
00:38:35Klein.
00:38:37I know it's Donna Klein.
00:38:38Let me get some menus circulating, switch.
00:38:42Um...
00:38:43Oh, sorry.
00:38:45His name.
00:39:05Listen, I'm here in New York.
00:39:08Yes.
00:39:08Filming up.
00:39:09Yes.
00:39:10Filming up so...
00:39:11Hold up.
00:39:12Wait a minute.
00:39:13And it's really cool.
00:39:15It's the lift.
00:39:16Ah.
00:39:17Extraordinary.
00:39:20Chanel, Dior, Lagerfeld, Duvalanche, Gaultier, darling.
00:39:24Names, names, names.
00:39:26Oh, mama, that absolute fear.
00:39:28Oh, I love your chainsaw.
00:39:39Yeah, babe!
00:39:40A little mental amputation is all that's required.
00:39:42Now, darling, remember that little video that I got?
00:39:44Oh, yes.
00:39:45Yeah.
00:39:45I'll put that on.
00:39:46Yeah, razz it up a bit, hey?
00:39:47That's a real good.
00:39:48No, darling, get the blood right.
00:39:48Right, right.
00:39:49Yeah.
00:39:49And then just foil the throat.
00:39:51Fuck!
00:39:51Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:39:55I'm so sorry.
00:39:57She made me say it.
00:39:58She taught me to say it.
00:39:59I've never said that word.
00:40:00I've never said that before.
00:40:01Get out of here, sir.
00:40:05Oh, oh, oh.
00:40:08Oh, oh, oh.
00:40:09Saffy!
00:40:10Saffy, Saffy, tinnitus!
00:40:12Tinnitus, tinnitus, tinnitus, tinnitus!
00:40:14Tinnitus, darling.
00:40:15It's a high pitch ringing in my ears, darling.
00:40:17Sweetie, darling.
00:40:20Oh, oh.
00:40:24Oh.
00:40:24Oh.
00:40:25Sorry.
00:40:25Yeah, it went on a bit long.
00:40:29God, I actually have to knock myself out.
00:40:34Well, you know that picture of the Hoover Dam I've got?
00:40:36Do you want modern?
00:40:37Well, yeah, I want modern, darling, but not modern.
00:40:38Sorry, just hold on.
00:40:40Sorry, just go between the chairs.
00:40:41Oh, between the chairs.
00:40:42Oh, between the chairs.
00:40:43Yes, thank you.
00:40:44I'm sorry, sweetie, that was probably my fault.
00:40:47What is your knees?
00:40:48Tuck your knees in.
00:40:51I've just got very, very long legs.
00:40:57It's just that I don't like it.
00:40:59Was I holding a book like that?
00:41:00Was I holding my cigarettes like this?
00:41:01Oh, shit.
00:41:01I'm asking him a question.
00:41:05We're okay.
00:41:05We're okay.
00:41:06Don't worry.
00:41:07Right, we are recording.
00:41:12I wonder if La Cua does kitchens.
00:41:16Eddie, I'm...
00:41:17Oh, God.
00:41:20Oh, darn.
00:41:21Oh, sorry, now I'll go back.
00:41:25Something else rang, didn't it?
00:41:26Wrong thing.
00:41:26Wrong thing rang, please.
00:41:28Wrong thing rang.
00:41:29Wrong thing rang.
00:41:32Do you think La Cua does kitchens?
00:41:34Eddie?
00:41:34Hmm?
00:41:35I am...
00:41:35Oh, God, that'll be bubble.
00:41:37Oh, God.
00:41:37Oh, start again.
00:41:38I should go to...
00:41:41Get your legs out of the way!
00:41:45Move your legs, woman.
00:42:01Okay, I love it.
00:42:02Well done.
00:42:07Oh, Eddie.
00:42:11She is still here.
00:42:13And so am I.
00:42:15You have failed on both counts so far, Pats.
00:42:20I...
00:42:21No, wrong line.
00:42:24The truth of the matter is that men actually prefer women with the fuller flesh.
00:42:30Aren't they, darling?
00:42:32With the larger, larger breasts and the folds of a more sensual, sensual figure.
00:42:37Hmm?
00:42:38And men, if only they allowed them to.
00:42:40Oh, God, if they allowed themselves to.
00:42:42Sorry.
00:42:44All right, darling.
00:42:45I'll see you later.
00:42:46Bye.
00:42:47Bye, Eddie.
00:42:48Hmm?
00:42:48A little something to put us in the mood, make the evening go of the swing.
00:42:51Oh.
00:42:53So, uh, who did you find?
00:42:55Oh, it's, uh...
00:42:56No.
00:42:56Sorry.
00:42:59What do you mean, she's got the whip?
00:43:07It's all in general.
00:43:08Yeah, anyway, cheers, yeah.
00:43:09Cheers.
00:43:09Yeah, cheers.
00:43:10Cheers, thanks a lot.
00:43:10Yeah, welcome.
00:43:14Actually, Eddie, it was...
00:43:15It was just...
00:43:16I can't...
00:43:17I can't tell you...
00:43:17I can't...
00:43:18Where's she?
00:43:18Where is she?
00:43:19She's supposed to come in.
00:43:22What do you want?
00:43:24Well, then, we may have had breakfast with you.
00:43:26Because Saf dropped the keys to our little bit in the cellar last night.
00:43:30I don't want anything...
00:43:31Oh, fuck.
00:43:32You said Saf.
00:43:37What, that old Misery's charity shop?
00:43:40That's right, dear.
00:43:42God, that I saw with a moth-eaten felth hat.
00:43:45A chip.
00:43:48It was a chip.
00:43:49It was a chip.
00:43:49It was a fun round.
00:43:58She really understands some form.
00:44:06She really knows a thing or two.
00:44:10Oh!
00:44:11Darling, I've seen this movie.
00:44:13Well, I didn't see the movie.
00:44:14I went to a party after.
00:44:17Have you ever had the tip test?
00:44:19The tip test?
00:44:21Tip test.
00:44:22The what test?
00:44:22The tip test.
00:44:23The stain test.
00:44:25Hand tip test.
00:44:26We don't do a hand tip test.
00:44:28You go to the clinic.
00:44:29They've got a machine, darling.
00:44:30A mammaliogram.
00:44:31You go twice a week.
00:44:36What's your star sign?
00:44:38Equilibra.
00:44:41Your anus is in a good position this month.
00:44:43I'll be the judge of that.
00:44:46Quick head, it's taken off without us.
00:44:48No, darling, that's just the model.
00:44:50Which reminds me, it's Yasmin talking to you again.
00:44:55Well, you didn't have a label on him saying I'm Yasmin's husband or anything.
00:44:58No, we haven't known them for 20 years.
00:45:01What do you like to say?
00:45:02Smoking.
00:45:03Smoking.
00:45:05And drinking.
00:45:06Is that safe?
00:45:07Yeah, we've been here before.
00:45:08We're down to the beach.
00:45:14What's that lipstick you're wearing there?
00:45:16You've got to sell a roll.
00:45:17For partial.
00:45:20Now, I'll throw it some chocolates and lipsticks.
00:45:26Excuse me.
00:45:27Oi, oi.
00:45:28Excuse me.
00:45:29Is this it, then?
00:45:30I mean, there's no curtain.
00:45:31It's all the same.
00:45:32There's no rich people's section.
00:45:33It's in my class, lady.
00:45:35Well, there's no curtain.
00:45:37Hmm?
00:45:38I mean, I'd pay more for people to know it, you know.
00:45:40You know, you should think about it.
00:45:41Little curtain.
00:45:42Have another drink, darling.
00:45:45Dehydrate.
00:45:46Must not dehydrate.
00:45:48Did she smoke in the toilets?
00:45:49Oh, she's gone.
00:45:51I don't like the speech.
00:45:53Let me not write this speech, Pats.
00:45:55Now, what's that?
00:45:57What's that?
00:45:57It's his new hot, young thing.
00:46:00Hmm.
00:46:01When was last year's hot, young thing?
00:46:04Forgotten.
00:46:05We should do the Galliano.
00:46:06No, we'll do the Galliano later.
00:46:08No, we should.
00:46:09No, we shouldn't.
00:46:10Oh, and Liz Delberis.
00:46:10Hello, darling.
00:46:13Don't talk to her.
00:46:14She once sacked me.
00:46:16The fact that she now edits a major magazine is quite beyond me.
00:46:19Oh.
00:46:20Small the world, though, isn't it?
00:46:22Oh, this stuff, this sort of stuff.
00:46:24Just put a zigzag on anything and call it a new Mexican.
00:46:27I've read Indians' revenge on America.
00:46:29Oh, that's such a...
00:46:30Snark to a skull.
00:46:32Oh.
00:46:35Tweets.
00:46:37Oh, it's this little Kaleem.
00:46:39Kaleem.
00:46:39Kaleem, Kaleem, Kaleem, Kaleem, Kaleem, Kaleem, Kaleem, Kaleem, Kaleem.
00:46:44Oh, Kaleem.
00:46:45Darling, Pats.
00:46:46I don't want Kaleem.
00:46:52Well, we're going to have to have breakfast with you, darling,
00:46:54because Patsy dropped the keys to our bit and so-o last night.
00:46:59He's that dog here that sticks his nose up your crutch.
00:47:18That's so funny.
00:47:22You've got that key, actually, so, do you?
00:47:24You've got that key.
00:47:24No.
00:47:29Give me the key!
00:47:38Think, think, think, think, think.
00:47:39Yeah, strap on the clampons and stay at the summit of my career, darling.
00:47:42Surf the net with the rest of them.
00:47:43I'm off.
00:47:43Mum, what?
00:47:45Change.
00:47:46What?
00:47:47Oh!
00:47:48Oh!
00:47:48Oh!
00:47:50What is it?
00:47:51Oh, my God, it's my westward bum bag.
00:47:53I thought it was attached to the dress.
00:47:54It's on me.
00:47:55Get it off!
00:47:55Get it off!
00:47:56Take it off!
00:47:59No, it undoes.
00:48:00It undoes.
00:48:01God, it's a little fashioned tick.
00:48:10Can I leave a bottle of body here?
00:48:12No.
00:48:13Can I have one?
00:48:14Just be careful, though, darling.
00:48:16I don't want another...
00:48:17I don't want another...
00:48:20Oh, for...
00:48:22Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be very convenient for you, wouldn't it?
00:48:25Yes.
00:48:25Oh, your mother's doing all right, everything's labelled, her career's going fabulously, coming
00:48:28home on weekends.
00:48:29Well, it's not that simple, darling.
00:48:30Week ends.
00:48:31It's a little more difficult than just come home weekends.
00:48:34I mean, you know, I might need to find myself, darling.
00:48:38Oh, sweetie.
00:48:40I...
00:48:46You did very well the first time.
00:48:49I have been a paradise, but I've never been a meek.
00:48:55Please don't react.
00:48:59I won't.
00:49:02I'm going to move out of the halls of residence.
00:49:05No!
00:49:06No!
00:49:23It's just I saw a hellraiser last night.
00:49:34Not dead yet.
00:49:49Whatever happened to all of the heroes, all of the Shakespeareos, they watched their own
00:50:16Did you just kick me in the head?
00:50:18Yeah, I thought it was your feet.
00:50:19Get up.
00:50:20Sit up.
00:50:21I want you to push on my back.
00:50:22I'm so stiff.
00:50:24Oh, God, I can't believe I'm this stiff.
00:50:26I've got an audition today.
00:50:27Oh, God.
00:50:28Is that as far as you'll go?
00:50:30You have to push harder.
00:50:31My head should touch my knees.
00:50:33I've been dancing full out for ten years and this happens.
00:50:36Look at my hands.
00:50:37Bunch of bananas.
00:50:39Well, you should exercise more.
00:50:40I do exercise.
00:50:41There were five classes yesterday.
00:50:43I did jazz dance, tap and jazz, classical street rock and tap, hip hop, jazz, rage, body
00:50:48ballet and salsa mambo.
00:50:50On a tramplet.
00:50:52Well, at least you've given up break dancing.
00:50:54Last time you did that, the weight of your body drilled your head through two floors.
00:50:57Yeah.
00:50:59Floor boards, actually.
00:50:59It was just floor boards.
00:51:00Do my shoulders.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:03What?
00:51:04You're like a bean bag.
00:51:05That's muscle.
00:51:06That's just fluid muscle.
00:51:08That's all I use.
00:51:09You're getting a hump.
00:51:10I am not getting a hump.
00:51:12It's a cardigan.
00:51:14You should do yoga.
00:51:15I don't want to do yoga.
00:51:16I don't want to do yoga.
00:51:18I don't want to do yoga.
00:51:23How are you doing that?
00:51:24Are you taking your hands up the front or up the back?
00:51:28Do they ring?
00:51:29Did you get that sitcom?
00:51:30I turned it down.
00:51:31It wouldn't stretch me as an actress.
00:51:33Are they still looking for someone?
00:51:35They've given it to Carol Vorderman.
00:51:39Oh, God, you idiot.
00:51:42You'll just end up like me.
00:51:43I mean, I'm not offered anything.
00:51:44You know why?
00:51:46Chernobyl.
00:51:48Have you seen the length of dancers' legs these days?
00:51:51I'm up against genetic freaks.
00:51:54You said we're going for an audition today.
00:51:56Oh, yeah.
00:51:56About ten minutes ago.
00:51:57Thanks for picking up on it.
00:51:59What's it for?
00:52:04You can't do it.
00:52:06I don't want it.
00:52:08How do you know?
00:52:08What is it?
00:52:11It's the mother in Angela's ashes.
00:52:14For what?
00:52:15TV?
00:52:15Play?
00:52:16Musical.
00:52:19Oh, that would be good.
00:52:21For you.
00:52:23So, what are you doing at the audition?
00:52:25Just, you know, song, speech, a little bit of a dance that I've worked out for them.
00:52:33Do you want me to go over your pieces with you?
00:52:34No, I know them.
00:52:35I always do them.
00:52:37Yes, but maybe that's why you haven't worked for five years.
00:52:39Two years.
00:52:40I had the furniture warehouse advert.
00:52:42They put someone else's mouth on it.
00:52:44They morphed somebody else's mouth on it.
00:52:47And only because the sale dates changed.
00:52:49It was nothing to do with my performance.
00:52:53Yes, but it looks weird.
00:52:54Sometimes it's either talking out of the bottom of your chin or trying to eat your nose.
00:52:58Maybe I should do something, you know, heavier for the audition.
00:53:02What should I do?
00:53:03Death and the Maiden.
00:53:04Mother Courage.
00:53:06I'll do something, but thanks anyway.
00:53:12What are you?
00:53:14No.
00:53:16No.
00:53:17No.
00:53:17No.
00:53:18No.
00:53:18No.
00:53:19No.
00:53:19No.
00:53:19No.
00:53:20No.
00:53:22No.
00:53:23No.
00:53:26Jack!
00:53:27Jackie!
00:53:31Jackie!
00:53:33The synth needs tuning, Bryce.
00:53:35Call in the blind man!
00:53:38Is that you, hon?
00:53:39Yeah.
00:53:40My range is gone. Did you hear? I don't know what's happened.
00:53:42God, was that you? You used to have a good range, didn't you?
00:53:45Yeah, more than three notes, wasn't it?
00:53:47Yeah!
00:53:48But hey, listen, how are you? Nervous?
00:53:51Oh, Frida's here. She's gonna do my pieces with me.
00:53:53Oh, then I'd better come up. She'll be no use.
00:53:55She's only an actress. She's not an entertainer.
00:53:57There is nothing wrong with that piano, son.
00:53:59Sounded a bit odd to me, Bryce.
00:54:01Oh, you're there, are you?
00:54:02Good morning, Vivienne.
00:54:06Leave it! Leave it!
00:54:09I'll drop it in with the mail.
00:54:11Thank you, my dear.
00:54:13Don't you just shave your head.
00:54:15Don't you think you should come inside now?
00:54:17Or if you are gonna wear that thing, I mean, glue it on.
00:54:20It's not a balancing act.
00:54:21You're all about to say you've got a full pint of beer on your head.
00:54:23This thing was your idea, as I recall.
00:54:26Now, come inside.
00:54:27We can see if we can track down another note in your repertoire.
00:54:32Never marry your manager.
00:54:34It's a saunter down the aisle to serfdom.
00:54:36I'll be up in ten minutes, sweetheart.
00:54:38I'll be up in ten minutes, sweetheart.
00:54:48Hi, Billy.
00:54:49Hope you're done my momma coming.
00:54:50Take gum out.
00:54:53I see you.
00:54:55Did you read anything about Jesus in that Bible?
00:54:59Did you read anything about Jesus?
00:55:01Why are you doing this dreadful piece?
00:55:03It's Dead Man Walking.
00:55:04Everyone's doing movie speeches for auditions.
00:55:06What a shit.
00:55:07What a little shit.
00:55:10Do you know why Price wants me to take that show on the road again?
00:55:12What show?
00:55:13Disco Follies 77.
00:55:14He said he needs the money because he wants to buy Johnny's Bar.
00:55:18That tatty little hole.
00:55:19But he's an agent.
00:55:20He must have other people on his books.
00:55:21Why hasn't he sent them on the road?
00:55:22He's only got me and Dora Vermouth.
00:55:23Has he?
00:55:24When did you last do it?
00:55:25What?
00:55:26Disco Follies 77.
00:55:2777?
00:55:29He thinks there's a revival but so far he's only managed to get me, Tina Marie and a couple
00:55:33of old Sexalettes.
00:55:34It was always more humping than Harmony.
00:55:37All the poppers in the world couldn't make that seem like an attractive package.
00:55:40When you've finished, there might be something about Jesus in that bag.
00:55:46You know, Jesus had a time when he was facing death.
00:55:49Hot chocolate is separated.
00:55:51You can get hot or chocolate.
00:55:53You can't get the full session.
00:55:56Shhh.
00:55:56When he was facing death.
00:55:58Oh, I'm sorry.
00:55:58He didn't give in.
00:55:59He hasn't started.
00:56:00His love changed things.
00:56:02Before that, nobody cared about the destitutes, the beggars, the poor.
00:56:05Lightning.
00:56:06It's not a comedy.
00:56:08But Jesus respected them.
00:56:09He gave them a power.
00:56:10Sparkle.
00:56:11He gave the rich people a thing.
00:56:13Look, this isn't working.
00:56:14Why don't you just put the text down?
00:56:16Oh, no.
00:56:16I don't want to do that.
00:56:17Put the text down and tell me in your own words.
00:56:21What?
00:56:21What I'm thinking?
00:56:22Mm-hmm.
00:56:24I'm Susan Sarandon.
00:56:27You're Sean Penn with big hair, big bouffant hair.
00:56:30I'm a nun with strange eyes.
00:56:33Don't tell me the plot.
00:56:35I want to know what you're feeling.
00:56:36Come on.
00:56:37Get up.
00:56:37Move about.
00:56:38Fill yourself up.
00:56:39Build your character.
00:56:40This isn't how I'm used to working.
00:56:41I normally just need a big mirror.
00:56:44Just concentrate.
00:56:45I want to know who this woman is.
00:56:47How fast her heart is beating.
00:56:50It's Susan Sarandon.
00:56:53Do your piece or I'm going.
00:56:55I have a job.
00:56:56Oh, what are you doing at the moment?
00:56:58Hedda at the tricycle, actually.
00:56:59What's that?
00:57:00A new play?
00:57:00Hedda at the tricycle?
00:57:02No.
00:57:03Hedda Garbler, a play by Ibsen at the Tricycle Theatre.
00:57:07Eww.
00:57:08Another place you can die in.
00:57:10Do send in the clowns, babe.
00:57:12Oh, I always do it.
00:57:12You know that.
00:57:13You're safe with that.
00:57:14Isn't it rich?
00:57:15Look, even I can sing that with my three notes.
00:57:17Listen to me.
00:57:18Do something, you know.
00:57:19Yes, well maybe you should.
00:57:20Because let me tell you, your acting muscle is so flabby, only a huge amount of work would tighten it.
00:57:25Do something light.
00:57:26Not everyone wants to leave the theatre feeling like suicide.
00:57:29Although I'm sure if she's in the cast, it's fairly unavoidable.
00:57:32Okay, you'll listen to the ex-junkie, disco diva, Hefner Playmate, but not to me, a trained RADA actress.
00:57:37Fine.
00:57:38I was never a playmate.
00:57:41Actually, no, I think I will do Send in the Clowns.
00:57:43I mean, I'll cut it a bit, because they'll stop me by the first chorus anyway.
00:57:46I should look the part, shouldn't I?
00:57:48Dress so they have got no imagination.
00:57:50I'll nip down the weir, get a costume.
00:57:56What is the Irish brogue?
00:57:57The brogue.
00:57:58The accent.
00:57:59Well, not your accent.
00:58:01Oh, that was the shoes.
00:58:02That's the room.
00:58:03You have no discipline.
00:58:04No focus.
00:58:06It's time for the morning to you.
00:58:10What's the crack?
00:58:11Vanessa Feltz's arse.
00:58:16Oh my God.
00:58:18It's Jackie Riviera.
00:58:20We loved you.
00:58:21We loved you in Chicago.
00:58:23Chicago?
00:58:24If they loved me in Chicago, I was in Chicago.
00:58:30Who's that singing?
00:58:34Singing?
00:58:34It was Coraline.
00:58:35You know, there you go.
00:58:36You can fly to daddy.
00:58:38You can fly to daddy.
00:58:38Take me down and swim to daddy.
00:58:40Hit that roaring crow to daddy.
00:58:42Daddy, we've got the rhythm of life, of life, of life, of life.
00:58:46Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.
00:58:58Man.
00:59:10How was I?
00:59:13We'll call you.
00:59:17Thank you so much, George. Fantastic.
00:59:25We don't think you're right.
00:59:35Happy tomorrow and into your body.
00:59:36They're all bastards, but hey.
00:59:38Break a leg.
00:59:39Next.
00:59:41How many are they seeing?
00:59:44334.
00:59:45Oh, that's not too bad.
00:59:47It's just you and whoever's on stage left.
00:59:49Who is it?
00:59:51Yitta Hilbert's dad.
00:59:53Yitta Hilbert's dad.
00:59:54She's a waitress.
00:59:58Hello, Yitta.
01:00:00Tell us a little about what you've done.
01:00:03Hello.
01:00:04I have been very busy on a matter for the present time.
01:00:09What have you been doing?
01:00:11Yeah.
01:00:13Where have you been working?
01:00:15Oh, well, I have been tending to many, many tings for one year at Uro Disney.
01:00:23There's a duck in the usual manner.
01:00:25And many, many, many tings and showings for the common crowd.
01:00:32And the same for the below at Millennium Dorm.
01:00:39Skippings, spinnings, dancings and showings.
01:00:48Oh, show us the way to the next Biscay Bar.
01:00:52Oh, don't us fight.
01:00:54Oh, don't us fight.
01:00:56For we must find the next Biscay Bar.
01:00:58For if we don't find the next Biscay Bar.
01:01:02I tell you, we must die.
01:01:04I tell you, we must die.
01:01:06I tell you, I tell you, we must die.
01:01:10I should have done breast.
01:01:12It's vile.
01:01:12It's working.
01:01:28If only we had six months.
01:01:32Yes.
01:01:37Next.
01:01:39Fossier technique.
01:01:40Inhale.
01:01:41Exhale.
01:01:41Inhale.
01:01:42Exhale.
01:01:44Exhale.
01:01:44Oh, shit.
01:01:45Sparkle.
01:01:49I've cut it and added a little thing here.
01:01:53All right.
01:02:12Isn't it rich?
01:02:14Are we open?
01:02:18Me here at last stand the ground, little Frankie.
01:02:23You win midair.
01:02:27Send in the clowns.
01:02:36Send in the clowns.
01:02:39Just when I stopped opening.
01:03:10And I'll get you another quick drink, Dora.
01:03:12Oh, I don't know if I should.
01:03:16Have I got a matinee?
01:03:19You've done the matinee.
01:03:21Oh, then I don't see why not.
01:03:23You've still got your poster up there, Miss Vermouth.
01:03:26Hey, do you remember?
01:03:27You signed it.
01:03:30I don't quite know what one is supposed to say on these occasions.
01:03:35Hey, that was when you were little Sally.
01:03:37Every part you played in that show, you made it the lead.
01:03:40Little Sally, Sally, Sally's mother.
01:03:44I enjoyed my years in those roles, but mysterious lady in bath chair.
01:03:49I mean, where's my motivation?
01:03:53I know they're about to be cast, but if they want me to stay, tell them I want my daughter
01:03:58to come in as Sally.
01:03:59The girl at the moment is far too old.
01:04:02Grace would be perfect.
01:04:03And she has got herself into a bit of a mess, gone off the rails a bit.
01:04:07What is she doing?
01:04:08She's a laptop dancer.
01:04:11She assures me that there's no touching, but I think she'd be happier in a play.
01:04:17Has she got an agent?
01:04:19Respond that for me, will you, Johnny?
01:04:23I got the job.
01:04:23I got the job.
01:04:24I got the job.
01:04:26Champagne.
01:04:26Champagne.
01:04:27Champagne?
01:04:27Cheap white wine.
01:04:29You know what?
01:04:30I think it was my high kicks that did it.
01:04:31You didn't want that.
01:04:32You didn't see you.
01:04:37Well done.
01:04:38And I'm working too, which is great.
01:04:40Hey, and they didn't want to give it to her name?
01:04:42Oh, The Upside of Obscurity.
01:04:44Oh, yeah.
01:04:44Which role has she got?
01:04:46My role or that of Sally's mother?
01:04:47No, no, no, no.
01:04:48Not your show, Dora.
01:04:50Come on, let's celebrate.
01:04:51Aren't you going to ask Cat how her show's going?
01:04:53What show?
01:04:54Tony and Cherie the Musical.
01:04:58Have you opened?
01:05:00We've closed.
01:05:01That is so cruel.
01:05:03It's ridiculous.
01:05:04The crew loved it.
01:05:05Oh, well, if the crew loved it, it must be good.
01:05:08It's the first rule of theatre.
01:05:09Yeah, but seven people in London didn't like it, so they closed the show.
01:05:13The critics?
01:05:14No, that was the audience.
01:05:17We live at ten and eleven, but we're all at sixes and sevens.
01:05:23It's my labour or your labour, Tony!
01:05:26Why must the country come first?
01:05:30You see?
01:05:32Tragic and topical.
01:05:34Who played Tony?
01:05:36Nick Lindhurst.
01:05:36Oh, wow!
01:05:39You, um, still going out with that director?
01:05:41Oh, no.
01:05:42Now that play finished.
01:05:45I don't do that.
01:05:46You do do that.
01:05:47You've gone out with every director of every play you've ever been in.
01:05:50You only have relationships as long as the run.
01:05:52I've known you have charity one-night stands.
01:05:57I'm off.
01:05:57I have got very important rehearsals tomorrow.
01:05:59Oh, get the lithium drip in.
01:06:01See you later.
01:06:02Oh, she took it so seriously.
01:06:05You know, she took three sisters to Kosovo.
01:06:06Two of them died.
01:06:08They had no food.
01:06:09They'd use the costumes as toilet paper.
01:06:10I mean, that can't be worth it, can it?
01:06:13Right, back to the grindstone.
01:06:15What are you doing?
01:06:15Stand-ins?
01:06:16Yeah.
01:06:17I'm doing the first half hour of Cats for Dolly, who's got a cyst.
01:06:20Ten minutes in the second act of Phantom for Lucy, who's picking up her mother at the station.
01:06:23And the curtain call on Les Miserables for Billy.
01:06:25It's his boyfriend's birthday.
01:06:26See you soon.
01:06:27And I'm trying to be so pleased.
01:06:30Good.
01:06:31She must know every small part in every musical in town.
01:06:34Yeah.
01:06:34But let us not forget that she once took the curtain call as Orphan Annie, still blacked
01:06:37up as one guy named Mo.
01:06:40Right, wise money, we need more drinks.
01:06:42He's charging me 15% now, you know, and I don't even want to be in the show.
01:06:47Oh, he's a little shit, Dora.
01:06:48I'm just taking Dora over to theatre.
01:06:51Here's the deal, Bryce.
01:06:53I'll stay in if Grace gets the ingénie.
01:06:55But I'm out of the bath chair, without bandages, for the chorus of gay summertime rose buds.
01:07:02There are old boys who come to the show every week just to see my legs.
01:07:06Thank you, darling.
01:07:07Thank you, Dora.
01:07:11To you.
01:07:12To you.
01:07:13Uh, to me.
01:07:15Yes.
01:07:15To Angela of the Ashes.
01:07:17Yes, I've got a job.
01:07:18I've got a job.
01:07:35What's my record?
01:07:37Uh, two.
01:07:39Two, right.
01:07:46Okay.
01:07:48One.
01:07:51Two.
01:07:52Four.
01:07:54Three.
01:07:54And that's a red ball.
01:07:56Oh, my God!
01:07:58Oh, my God!
01:08:06Yes!
01:08:16Why couldn't Bryce pick us up?
01:08:18I don't know what's happened to him.
01:08:20Six hours, isn't that possible?
01:08:22Six hours. Oh, come on, it's not far.
01:08:26Seems quite, we'll try crossing here.
01:08:28I understand why we couldn't find a bloody bus.
01:08:30Well, because I can't see them coming and you can't get on them.
01:08:33You must go when I say go, OK?
01:08:35Go! No, stop!
01:08:38I might as well die, it's not that bad.
01:08:41Go!
01:08:54Is it painful?
01:08:55It's painful.
01:08:56No, the leg.
01:08:57Of course the leg is painful.
01:08:59It's a full break, double fracture, I've torn all the ligaments.
01:09:01There's nothing but fine skin actually holding my foot to my leg.
01:09:06You're jealous, aren't you?
01:09:08What happened to you?
01:09:09I got whiplash in the ambulance when it pulled away at Dangerous School.
01:09:14You can run some of that, Homegrown.
01:09:17Poor Bryce, he's the worst head.
01:09:18You know, if I can't do the tour, he can't buy the bar.
01:09:21Well, break equals no break for me.
01:09:24Angela's Ashes will hit the dust.
01:09:26That was going to be the big one.
01:09:27That was everything I always wanted.
01:09:28You know, it could be New York transfer to Broadway.
01:09:31Movie offers, LA.
01:09:32LA?
01:09:33You hated it last time.
01:09:34No, I wasn't working last time.
01:09:36No point of staying unless you're working.
01:09:38You just join all the other cast-offs, all the aged hangers-on grateful to play some
01:09:42sitcom servant.
01:09:43Or some rubber nostril in Star Trek.
01:09:45Oh, yes.
01:09:46Six years and a small trunk and you can bet it was classically trained.
01:09:50Half the RSC from the 1970s are still out there playing background bubble heads in
01:09:53Space Precinct.
01:09:55I thought you should try something else.
01:09:57What do you mean, something else?
01:09:58Do you know what I think you might be good at?
01:10:00What?
01:10:00What I think you might both be good at?
01:10:02What?
01:10:03Presenting.
01:10:13Ah, Jackie.
01:10:15We don't live.
01:10:16Oh, dear.
01:10:17All still going about in sea boots, rather.
01:10:19I think I have a nice surprise.
01:10:21Jackie.
01:10:22Never word with you.
01:10:22En confidant.
01:10:23Where are you?
01:10:25Don't close the door.
01:10:26Don't close the door.
01:10:26Just come in and speak.
01:10:27I can't move.
01:10:28Oh, Paul, Bryce.
01:10:30Are you very upset that you can't buy the bar because of my crushed Larry's?
01:10:33No, no, no, no.
01:10:34I have bought the bar.
01:10:36What?
01:10:36What with?
01:10:37The insurance money from your accident will pay for it.
01:10:39Years ago, I insured your voice in case this happened.
01:10:42We don't need a bar.
01:10:43We need something.
01:10:44Well, you've got Dora.
01:10:45Yeah, she won't last forever.
01:10:46We have to have something to bring the cash in.
01:10:48Yes, but I'm writing a book for us.
01:10:49I'm going.
01:10:50I've got mental wit cash.
01:10:51You'll bring my drink.
01:10:52Yes, but let me tell you.
01:10:53Get one of you.
01:10:53Just stick it into some rotten show and we just lose it again.
01:10:56Yes, but if you've gone back on tour again, maybe we'd have a couple of bob.
01:10:58Well, how can we go on tour if you've crashed the car?
01:11:00Yes, but how did I crash the car?
01:11:01You crashed the drag.
01:11:02It's hardly my body, Bob, because you've had four gins.
01:11:04I was not.
01:11:05In your wig.
01:11:07In your wig.
01:11:07In your wig.
01:11:07No, don't you touch it.
01:11:08It's stuck down.
01:11:09The wig is stuck with super glue.
01:11:10Oh!
01:11:17You boring little shit.
01:11:22Do you want me to sign that?
01:11:23No.
01:11:24I don't touch it.
01:11:25Broken.
01:11:25Hurts.
01:11:26Jesus.
01:11:28That might be it now.
01:11:30Might never, ever work again.
01:11:33Might never, ever do anything.
01:11:35Might never, ever be anybody.
01:11:37Peak of my career might have been playing twisted labia.
01:11:40Psychic to Little Nell in the non-Derek Jarman sequel to Jubilee.
01:11:44Even in that, I walked around with no future felt pinned on my forehead.
01:11:47How could I forget it was that?
01:11:50A bit more waitressing than acting, and that's the truth.
01:11:53No.
01:11:53Any day it might happen.
01:11:55Any day.
01:11:56I mean, that's...
01:11:57That's the thing about life.
01:11:58You can't plan it.
01:11:58I mean, it just might happen any day.
01:12:01The important thing is, is to live every second until.
01:12:05Just not let life be boring.
01:12:07Not like that boring shit, Bryce.
01:12:11Do you know what he wants to call the bar?
01:12:13What?
01:12:13Do you know?
01:12:13He wants to call it Bryce's bar.
01:12:15Bryce's?
01:12:15All day, spud n sandwich bar.
01:12:18Stop that.
01:12:22You should call it Riviera's.
01:12:23I don't want to be associated with a sandwich bar.
01:12:26It's all good, Riviera's.
01:12:27It's like a nightclub.
01:12:32Nightclub.
01:12:33Nightclub.
01:12:33Nightclub.
01:12:35Nightclub.
01:12:35Nightclub.
01:12:36Nightclub.
01:12:36Nightclub.
01:12:38Nightclub.
01:12:39Nightclub.
01:12:39You could have a little stage.
01:12:42A little piano.
01:12:42A white ground.
01:12:44A baby ground.
01:12:44A little baby ground.
01:12:46A synth.
01:12:47Or you could just use tapes.
01:12:53Listen to that lovely rain.
01:12:58It isn't raining.
01:12:59You must have tinnitus.
01:13:07No, don't play show tunes, George.
01:13:08Play some, I don't know, jazz or...
01:13:11Yeah.
01:13:12Do you want a top up?
01:13:13Yeah.
01:13:14Who loves your baby?
01:13:19Come here.
01:13:20Come here.
01:13:21You're supposed to charge people.
01:13:23This isn't a party.
01:13:25Ah, Gordon.
01:13:26Oh, that's very kind of you.
01:13:27Just a half then, Bryce.
01:13:28Very kind of you.
01:13:29Fishing that gin for me, will you, Bryce?
01:13:32Are you keeping the walls where they are?
01:13:36I'm sorry, Dora.
01:13:37The walls?
01:13:38Are you keeping them where they are?
01:13:40Yes, they're fixed.
01:13:42There's nothing I can do.
01:13:43I don't know where to dance.
01:13:45I'm sorry, Dora.
01:13:45Ah, yes sir.
01:13:46There you are.
01:13:47I do know what you want to do.
01:13:48I am paving ears for deliverance.
01:13:52And taking them money.
01:13:56Bryce.
01:13:57Bryce.
01:14:00Can I have a drink?
01:14:01Yes.
01:14:02Yes.
01:14:05This is Mark.
01:14:05He's directing Hedda at the tricycle.
01:14:08Yes, of course.
01:14:09What can I get you?
01:14:11Bryce, how does this thing open?
01:14:13What are you doing?
01:14:13I want change to machine.
01:14:15We need more cigarettes.
01:14:15We want Atmos.
01:14:16I need no money.
01:14:17What are you doing?
01:14:19What are you doing?
01:14:20It's just stamina and organisation.
01:14:22Simple as that.
01:14:23Do you want another one?
01:14:23I'd love to.
01:14:24Shit.
01:14:25Whistle down the wind.
01:14:29Give these cigarettes to everyone.
01:14:31Everyone must smoke.
01:14:32Do you understand?
01:14:33Champion.
01:14:34For the smokings and the poofings of the Herli Berry.
01:14:38Yes.
01:14:42Vivian.
01:14:43Vivian.
01:14:44Hide me.
01:14:44You mustn't see my leg.
01:14:46I'm sorry you couldn't make the meeting today.
01:14:48All ready to start on Monday?
01:14:50A coiled spring of Irish misery, yes.
01:14:52Come over to our table and join us.
01:14:54I will.
01:14:55I will.
01:14:56Haven't you told him?
01:14:57Of course I haven't told him.
01:14:58I can do it.
01:14:59I can do it.
01:15:00Quick.
01:15:00Give me that.
01:15:02You won't make it.
01:15:04Of course I'll make it.
01:15:05I can river dance with this leg.
01:15:07You watch me.
01:15:09She starts rehearsing.
01:15:10Too late to sack her then.
01:15:12The orchard looks so picturesque in springtime.
01:15:16Don't you think?
01:15:16She won't make it.
01:15:18You forget they've seen her dancing.
01:15:19This looks completely normal.
01:15:23Yes, no.
01:15:24Please wait.
01:15:26Too late.
01:15:27Too late.
01:15:27Too late.
01:15:27Too late.
01:15:29Too late.
01:15:29Too late.
01:15:30Too late.
01:15:31Too late.
01:15:31Too late.
01:15:32Too late.
01:15:34Too late.
01:15:35Too late.
01:15:37Too late.
01:15:38Too late.
01:15:40Too late.
01:15:43Too late.
01:15:44Too late.
01:15:44Too late.
01:15:46Too late.
01:15:47Too late.
01:15:48Too late.
01:15:48Too late.
01:15:48Too late.
01:15:49Too late.
01:15:51Too late.
01:15:52Too late.
01:15:56Too late.
01:15:58Too late.
01:16:00Too late.
01:16:01to blue skies above
01:16:04your heart and your heads in a whirl
01:16:10away
01:16:12sleepy time
01:16:15girl
01:16:22thank you, thank you
01:16:25thank you
01:16:26thank you