- 2 days ago
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00:10Go to Mexico City, Eddie.
00:13It's mad, darling.
00:15I'm not taking that anymore.
00:16I mean, people are dragged from raves, bleeding from every orifice.
00:19Yeah, but this isn't a rave.
00:21It's happening.
00:23I thought we'd take it, Pat.
00:25I promised Safia I wouldn't die.
00:27Yeah, but she'll never find out.
00:28Oh, she didn't scare me.
00:33Oh, she didn't scare me.
00:36Keep the noise down!
00:39You're quite tight enough, yes, tight enough.
00:43Where's Olive? She normally does me.
00:45She's sick.
00:46Oh, God, I thought you were a nurse. Why aren't you nursing?
00:48This pays better.
00:50How much was you hoping to lose?
00:52Well, normally I lose about ten inches from all over my body.
00:55How many times have you had this done?
00:57Seven.
00:59I'll see what I can do.
01:01Yeah.
01:01But personally, I think you're wasting your money.
01:05You want to lose weight?
01:06You want to move that fat bottom of yours and get your mouth out of it?
01:10You want to help the environment?
01:12Mm.
01:13Use your fat bottom and plug up the ozone layer.
01:17Are you trained at this?
01:19I'm a nurse.
01:21I'm a nurse.
01:21Bandaging is what I do best.
01:23And I've got the manual.
01:25Good.
01:26Right.
01:27Have you recently had or are you due for your period?
01:32Oh, yes, both.
01:34Is that important?
01:36No, just making conversations.
01:39Relax.
01:40Mum.
01:41Her what?
01:42Oh, it's the little daughter.
01:46Mum, can you come downstairs, please?
01:48Sweetie, have you seen what you're talking to?
01:50Tutankhamun.
01:52Mum, it's important.
01:54I've got some bad news.
01:56I can't move for an hour.
01:57I'm being shrunk.
01:57And then I've got to go and pick Patsy up from the hospital.
02:00I don't tut her.
02:02She wanted her stomach pumped again.
02:04No.
02:05She thought they were her antibiotics, darling.
02:09Gran is downstairs and she wants to see you.
02:12Oh, well, that's never really worked as a threat, that one, has it?
02:15She's got some very sad news.
02:18Oh, how tragic.
02:18Oh, what, what?
02:20I think she should tell you.
02:22Oh, God, what I'm doing so...
02:23Oh, God, what are you blubbing for now?
02:25Mum, come downstairs now.
02:27Oh, God.
02:31If I come, the Dead Sea comes with me, so...
02:35Is it alright if I move?
02:36Oh, there you go again.
02:38Mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
02:41Who cares if you're fat or thin?
02:43Who cares if you live or die?
02:49Gran?
02:50Good morning, dear.
02:53Oh, I say, is that all the rage?
02:57It's a wrap.
02:58Oh, they've changed since my day.
03:01Is it a Vivian Westwood?
03:03Gran, come on.
03:05We've got something to tell Mum, haven't we?
03:07Do we have to?
03:09Come on, Gran.
03:10Oh, no, you tell her, dear.
03:12You're better at these things.
03:13I don't know why, but I have the feeling that I might laugh.
03:15Mum, that would just be an hysterical reaction.
03:19Yes, hilarious, dear, but I do think it would be rather inappropriate.
03:23Come on, I mean, do this look comfortable?
03:26Mum, maybe you should sit down.
03:27No, darling, my crust can't be broken.
03:32You tell her, Saffy.
03:33No, you tell her, Gran.
03:34It'll be alright.
03:35We could do one potato, two potatoes.
03:36Just one of you now.
03:41You're...
03:41Oh, no, dear, alright, you say.
03:43No, after you.
03:43Oh, very well, then.
03:45Edwina, dear, your father is dead.
03:48Well done.
03:53Well done.
03:54Did she finish him off or something?
03:56That was it, wasn't it, dear?
03:58I'm not going mad, am I?
04:00Grandad has died.
04:02Is that all you can do?
04:04All you can say?
04:05Don't you think Gran needs a little bit more?
04:07Oh, don't drag me into it, dear.
04:10She's doing her best, I'm sure.
04:12Now, don't you get yourself into a state.
04:18Your father is dead.
04:20What does that make you feel, Mum?
04:22And you can stop smirking!
04:30Upset, sweet upset, upset.
04:32There, I told you, dear.
04:34I'm not going to crack yet.
04:34Oh, leave the mummy and come to granny here.
04:39I am upset, darling.
04:41Mum!
04:43Just go back upstairs and don't come back down until you've really thought about it.
04:50I have thought about it now, darling.
04:52I'm real up.
04:52Come away from the old woman.
04:53Look, look, look, look, look, I'm upset.
04:56Go!
05:00I don't know how you do it, dear.
05:02She would never do that for me.
05:04I expect Grandad kept her in check, though.
05:06Oh, no.
05:06He was scared stiff of her.
05:09Those bandages are very clean.
05:11Where's our limod?
05:13Was that good?
05:14I don't know.
05:16Get up.
05:17Let me measure your wrists.
05:24I don't know how this kind of happened.
05:26What?
05:27My god, woman!
05:28What have you done?
05:29What?
05:30What?
05:31This will take your mind off it, Safie.
05:33I'm sorry, Gran.
05:35You're coping so well, I just feel so sad.
05:38It's all right, dear.
05:40I've had longer to get used to the idea of Grandad dying.
05:45We were married for nearly 40 years, you know.
05:48It's just so much to think about, to arrange.
05:51It's all in good time.
05:53Now, it's multiple choice questions.
05:57Are you ready?
06:00How many years was Margaret Thatcher Prime Minister?
06:04A. 900 years.
06:07B. 3,000 years.
06:10C. 11 years.
06:12Oh, it's a trick question.
06:19It's all right.
06:20It's not all right, is it, sweetie?
06:22It's not all right.
06:22It's impossible.
06:23It just can't have happened, darling.
06:26Do you want to talk about it?
06:29Yeah.
06:32I've put on 12 inches all over my body.
06:36I mean, my body absorbs much.
06:41Every pore is now an overeater.
06:44I don't understand you, Mum.
06:46Oh, I'm medical freaks.
06:48Of course, they want you to say 11 years.
06:52And that makes me think
06:54that it must be A. 900 years.
06:59It was a very, very long time.
07:07Oh, dear.
07:17What's the matter with her?
07:18I mean, you know.
07:19She's upset about your father dying.
07:22Well, still.
07:25Look.
07:27There are certain things
07:28that we should talk about.
07:29Get it sorted out.
07:30I mean, like the funeral arrangements,
07:32the will.
07:33And also about Gran.
07:34I mean, where is she going to live?
07:39What?
07:40She's not going to come and live here.
07:43No, no, no, no.
07:43No, dear.
07:44I am quite happy where I am.
07:47In fact, I'll have a bit more room.
07:51Are you sure?
07:52Oh, yes, dear.
07:54Well, I spoke to the funeral directors this morning.
07:57Oh, well done.
07:58And it's going to be next Monday.
08:00All right.
08:01I'll make a note of that.
08:04I think I'm free.
08:08Oh.
08:08Cancel bridge!
08:11And then everyone can come here.
08:13Here?
08:15And then go on to the church.
08:17You're on a Buddhist.
08:18Well, don't come then! Don't do anything!
08:21Don't think about it! Don't care!
08:23I think I'll be off.
08:26I'll just pop home and sort things out there, dear.
08:29Take care. And thank you.
08:32Oh, goodbye. Oh, goodbye.
08:36I can't believe the way you're behaving.
08:38That you don't care.
08:41I do care, darling.
08:44Did he leave a will?
08:46What? I'm just asking and asking!
08:49When I've made out a will, you know, darling.
08:53I mean, you get most of the money in my will, you know.
08:58What do you think you'll do with it, darling?
08:59I don't want it.
09:01You don't want it.
09:02Well, just don't have it, then. I'd rather you didn't have it, in fact.
09:06God, it's a rather depressing thought, isn't it?
09:07That you might live on after me, isn't it?
09:11You?
09:12Huh?
09:13That's how I'm going to be remembered, is it?
09:14What, through you?
09:15Well, what, do you want a statue?
09:16Yes!
09:17A great, big, fat, ugly, armless statue!
09:26You've got arms?
09:28You've got arms?
09:30Yes!
09:33I just want to bequeath something to the nation, that's all.
09:36Not just you.
09:38Yes!
09:52Can I help you?
09:52Yeah, I want to buy some art.
09:54Have you seen something here?
09:56No, I don't know.
09:57I mean, I just, you know, I just want to get some.
10:00What else have you got?
10:02We're a specialist gallery.
10:03Perhaps if you knew what you were looking for, I could help you.
10:07Is there someone else who could help me?
10:14Oh, yeah, I want to, you know, buy some art.
10:16I'm a collector.
10:16I like the sort of modern stuff.
10:20Please, come downstairs.
10:21We'll see what we can do.
10:25You only work on a shop, you know.
10:27You can drop the attitude.
10:32Notice the quality and the texture of the brush strips.
10:35We like to think the artist has managed to cast off inertia and overcome habit
10:38and a continual renewal of himself.
10:40God, look, don't give me all this crap.
10:42I understood you were a collector.
10:44I am, I'm a serious collector.
10:46I'm not interested in artistic value.
10:48I just want to know how much this is going to be worth in 20 years' time.
10:51Oh, I see.
10:53Why didn't you say so?
10:54I've been showing you completely the wrong stuff.
11:01What, this?
11:02This?
11:04What with the figures on there?
11:05I want to see the figures.
11:07And I like these here too, these shoes.
11:09I like that.
11:09And the televisions.
11:10I like this.
11:11The televisions.
11:13There.
11:13I also want one of those, like, those bloodheads.
11:16You know, those frozen bloodheads filled with blood.
11:19Anything that's in the Saatchi collection, I want things like that, alright?
11:22I just want everything.
11:25Alright?
11:25Everything.
11:26It all looks like bollocks.
11:27It must have been...
11:28LAUGHTER
11:29LAUGHTER
11:45Is that you, Mum?
11:49What are you doing down here in the dark?
11:51I heard you get up.
11:52Oh!
11:58Well, I suppose it had to hit me sooner or later, darling, didn't it?
12:01Yes.
12:02I mean...
12:03Actually, darling, it sort of made me think, you know.
12:06Good.
12:07I don't want to die!
12:09I don't want to die!
12:11LAUGHTER
12:12I mean, sweetie, I know you think I don't feel things, you know, and...
12:15I'm sorry we had that row this morning.
12:17That's all right.
12:18I've spent most of the money now, by the way, you know.
12:21I don't care.
12:22You still get the house, though, darling, you know that, don't you?
12:25And any little keepsake, any little reminder you want of Mummy when she's passed away,
12:29when she's gone, darling, just say it, she'll be yours, you know.
12:31Mm-hm.
12:31I can't really think of anything right now.
12:33LAUGHTER
12:37What, nothing?
12:39No, nothing.
12:39In the whole place, nothing.
12:41What, not an ashtray, you know, not a piece of cutlery or glass, something from the fridge?
12:45Mum, I don't want to think about it.
12:47No, I don't want to think about it either, but I have to, cos I'm dying!
12:52What?
12:53I am.
12:54Look, look at those, darling, look, look, look.
12:56They're stunted.
12:57You bite your nails.
12:59No, not the nails, they're my lifelines, my lifelines.
13:02They look fine.
13:04They end.
13:06Mum, we all die.
13:08Yeah, well, I don't want to, darling.
13:10Honestly, when I think how much I've invested in this body, in this life, darling.
13:14You know, I've been at the best of everything.
13:16I've been pampered by Chamneys, I've been fed by Fortnums, I've been shaved, plucked and moisturised, sweetie.
13:21I mean, you know, this carcass ain't broken or I'll sue.
13:26Mum, if you really want to talk about it, perhaps now would be a good time to tell me what
13:31you want when you die and what sort of funeral.
13:34Where would you like to be buried?
13:39Oh, I'm not dead yet. Hang on.
13:40Why, darling?
13:42I don't want to be buried.
13:44I don't want to be buried, darling.
13:44Have you ever been to a graveyard?
13:45Have you ever, have you ever read a tombstone, sweetie?
13:48Hmm?
13:48You know, so-and-so fell asleep and was buried on date.
13:52Fell asleep, sweetie!
13:54No, no, no grave for me, darling.
13:56I'm a Buddhist, anyway.
13:58I want to be laying out on a rock in the middle of the Ganges, darling, and then just pecked
14:02by birds.
14:05I don't want to end up as some drugged-up zombie in a hospital, all right?
14:09I thought that would appeal to you.
14:12I want to die with a bit of dignity, you know.
14:15I don't want the last words I hear to be switcher-off.
14:19Well, I wouldn't.
14:21You wouldn't, would you, darling?
14:25It's three o'clock in the morning.
14:27I don't know, it's probably some old drunk or something.
14:28You go, you go.
14:31Come on, live, live.
14:34You were right.
14:35I'm going to bed.
14:40What are you doing here?
14:41You were supposed to collect me, Eddie.
14:45What?
14:45From the hospital.
14:46I was waiting.
14:59I'm sorry, darling.
15:01You know, it's just a...
15:03I've had some rather bad news today, that's all.
15:05I need a drink.
15:08It's very bad news, actually, Pats.
15:10Oh, what?
15:11I'm dying!
15:13You can't!
15:14Well, I am!
15:15Well, what am I supposed to do if you die?
15:17Get cabs!
15:21I think that's enough people, dear.
15:23There's not very many.
15:24I know.
15:24I was always telling him to get out more and meet people.
15:28Oh, I see she's in mourning at last.
15:31Only for herself.
15:32Morning.
15:33Morning, Mrs M.
15:34Good morning, Patsy.
15:37Eddie tells me that Mr M, you know, dead.
15:44That's right.
15:45Well, um, I condole you.
15:50Thank you, dear.
15:51He chose the right season to go.
15:53What do you mean?
15:54Well, Harvey Nicks have got some really tasty little black numbers at the moment.
15:57And black is like in, so you wouldn't have to wear it only the once.
16:01No, it's my job to know these things.
16:05You've got a silky sheen on your hair.
16:07Silky sheen, silky sheen.
16:09What are you doing, silky sheen?
16:10What are you doing here?
16:11Here.
16:11Making a list of family and friends for the funeral.
16:14Family.
16:15Family.
16:16God, I hope you're not inviting that bloody, bollocky, selfish, two-faced, chicken bastard pig dog man, are you?
16:22You could just say Dad.
16:23I still know what you've meant.
16:26Anyway, he can't come.
16:27He's away.
16:27Oh, good.
16:28And Marshall can't make the funeral either.
16:29He's flying back to L.A. tomorrow.
16:31But he might call in this morning to pay his respects.
16:33Oh, no.
16:34Not with that bitch girlfriend.
16:37He's got a new one.
16:38Oh, no.
16:38Uh-oh.
16:39She's a therapist.
16:40Oh, let's get out of here.
16:43Oh, shit.
16:44The window, the window.
16:45Stay!
16:46You've done it again, dear.
16:49We are but mere ghosts.
16:51We are spirits soaring.
16:53For some say forsooth that we die at our conception
16:57and will then henceforth be reborn into vibrant life when we truly pass on.
17:02For herewith, I say to you, who can say whether we are alive or already dead?
17:09That's enough now, Sandra.
17:11Your mother.
17:12Oh, I'd like you to have this.
17:14You dear, recently bereaved one.
17:16Oh, I hope you don't mind me terming you so.
17:19There's a passage in the book that relates to that, actually.
17:22Oh, Marshall.
17:22Sandra, that's enough, honey.
17:24Oh, just this little bit.
17:26Yes.
17:27Can I have a drink?
17:27Well, what a good idea.
17:29Are you drinking again?
17:31Yeah.
17:31I'll come back, Marshall.
17:33Thanks, Pastor.
17:34I suppose you're no use to her unless you've got a problem, huh?
17:36How perceptive.
17:39I am not what others perceive me to be.
17:42I am not what I am called.
17:44I am not a name.
17:45I am my own invention.
17:48I've heard that before somewhere.
17:49It's Jung or...
17:50No, it's a traditional quote.
17:52I am merely using the meaning.
17:54No credit required.
17:55You can check it out with my lawyer.
17:57Here.
17:58Did you write this, dear?
17:59Yeah.
18:00That's me.
18:01Sandra Lawrence.
18:02I think the title says it all, don't you?
18:05Hey, it's great to grieve.
18:09So, Marshall, how's the script coming?
18:11Oh, no, do we have to know?
18:12Well, it's in a real interesting state.
18:13You're doing just fine.
18:15We had Kinau Reeves pull out.
18:17Which...
18:18Which we feel really positive about now.
18:20Because it's taken a different course entirely.
18:22And a Japanese company has taken up the option to do it.
18:25In animation form.
18:26Pat yourself on the back for that.
18:28What a cartoon.
18:29A cartoon?
18:32Animation.
18:33What a cartoon.
18:37Hi.
18:38You really interest me.
18:39I'd really like to talk to you.
18:41Now, don't worry.
18:42I'm a therapist.
18:42I'm Gestalt.
18:43And I'm g-going.
18:45Yeah.
18:48Saf, I'm out of here.
18:49I'm gonna change and then go and have lunch with Pat somewhere.
18:51You really are very aggressive to her.
18:53Do you perhaps feel that you blame and hold your daughter responsible for your aging, for your loss of looks?
19:04No.
19:05What's your excuse?
19:15That was a quality moment.
19:17Oh, good.
19:18I too have felt great sadness.
19:20You are talking to someone who has sat through beaches twelve times.
19:25Really?
19:26Mm-hmm.
19:27Oh, that'll be Grandad.
19:28Oh, how sweet.
19:30You still think he's coming home.
19:32No.
19:33It really is, Grandad.
19:34We're putting the coffin in the sitting room so that people can come and pay their respects.
19:39Excuse me.
19:39Would you run that one by me again?
19:41The coffin.
19:43Am I right?
19:44Yes.
19:45Careful, honey.
19:46The body, yes.
19:47Body.
19:47Body!
19:48Body!
19:49I'm crazy!
19:50Honey, these people are crazy.
19:51It's gonna smell.
19:54It's gonna smell.
19:54It's gonna smell.
19:56Take me home.
19:57Do you think the Yankee bimbo from hell is gone?
19:59God, I hope so, darling.
20:04Oi!
20:06Private parking!
20:10I park here.
20:11You have to have a permit.
20:16Who's that?
20:17We're just finalizing arrangements for tomorrow, dear.
20:20What happens tomorrow?
20:21The funeral?
20:22Oh, God.
20:23Come on, pass.
20:23Let's see if my art is alright.
20:25Oh, yes, good.
20:27Some smaller bits are here and a half bits here.
20:29Are you mad?
20:30Well, you don't have to like it.
20:32That's not the point, darling.
20:33Well, how much did this lot set you back?
20:35Well, I just spent as much as I could, darling, and it cost me hundreds of thousands of pounds.
20:38Oh, well, in that case, it's fabulous.
20:41I think I have bought the future here, darling.
20:43Look, let me show you.
20:44Look, look.
20:45This bit here.
20:45This, darling, here.
20:46Yep.
20:47This is Art Brutz.
20:49Wood.
20:49It's getting small, darling.
20:50Yeah.
20:51This is Artie Povera's jars, darling.
20:55Yeah, jars.
20:55Now, over here, we've got...
20:59This is...
21:00Darling, darling.
21:00This is the materialization of the psychotic's dream, deciphered by a clairvoyist hangers.
21:05It's hangers.
21:06It's hangers.
21:07Actually, this bit.
21:08Over here.
21:19This is a sort of...
21:20This is a...
21:21It's a corpse in a...
21:25Open, oaken, oblong coffin.
21:29Silky.
21:30It's a dead body, perhaps.
21:32Yeah, but is it art, Eddie?
21:38No, sweetie, it's my father.
21:40Are you sure?
21:42No, I think so.
21:43I've never seen him in a suit before.
21:45I mean...
21:46We should go.
21:47No, but I want to try one more time.
21:49Hang on, then.
22:10She wasn't ready.
22:12Oh, dear.
22:13All right.
22:14All right.
22:14Let's go home.
22:16That's it.
22:16Come on.
22:17Come on.
22:18Let's go home.
22:19There, Daddy.
22:22He looks like he's out of it, Eddie.
22:25You can't.
22:26You can't.
22:27You can't just leave him here like this, can they?
22:28I mean...
22:29It just looks so, sort of, plonked.
22:31I know.
22:32I mean...
22:32You know, it should be against white.
22:34It should be back lit.
22:35I mean, no-one's thought about it at all.
22:38Cheer up.
22:40I really think we should all be off.
22:43I don't think we've got any respect.
22:44Do not touch the art.
22:46What you don't seem to realise is that no-one would care
22:48if you lot were run over by a bus,
22:50but if one piece of this art gets damaged,
22:52several Lloyd's underwriters go homeless.
22:54Is that understood?
22:55Come on, Brian.
22:56Let's get going.
22:57Yes, dear.
22:57I've just got to change my shoes.
22:59You're not going to the church, are you?
23:02Unless I'm asked nicely, darling.
23:06Don't come.
23:07Or to the cemetery.
23:09Well, I've rung bubble and asked us to represent me, darling.
23:11That's all right.
23:15I might want to go.
23:16I might want to go, you know.
23:18Oh, Eddie.
23:20No pets.
23:21You all right, darling?
23:24Yeah, you all right, darling?
23:25Yeah, why, you know...
23:27What, what?
23:29What, what?
23:30Well, well...
23:31What, what?
23:32I mean, you know...
23:33You know you said the other day that you were going to die?
23:36Yeah, well, I might not be now.
23:37I'm looking into it, you know.
23:39Yeah, well...
23:40Well, well...
23:41No, no, no, shut up, Betty.
23:42This isn't easy for me.
23:43Sorry, darling.
23:43It's just that if you were going to die, I would be, like, totally alone, you know?
23:47I wouldn't have anybody or, or anything.
23:51You know, you've always been the lucky one, Eddie.
23:53You've got a family.
23:55You've got a great place to live.
23:56Yeah, I've got a great place to live.
23:57Even that bitch daughter must be some kind of comfort to you.
24:01Yeah, well, not always.
24:02Yeah, not always.
24:03Yeah, not like a dear friend.
24:05No, not like a friend.
24:06You know, you've always been a great friend to me, Eddie.
24:08I'd miss you.
24:10Would you?
24:11Yeah, and I'd like something to remember you by if you were, you know, like, God forbid,
24:15to die, you know?
24:16Yeah, yeah.
24:16Of course, darling.
24:17Yeah.
24:18Yeah, well, I've always been your greatest, you know, your best friend and your protector.
24:25Can I have the house?
24:26Oh!
24:27Oh, darling!
24:28I was going to go, the sappy is going to have the house!
24:30The sappy doesn't want it!
24:31She's not here!
24:33Oh, all right, all right.
24:34Oh, thanks, Eddie.
24:35Thanks.
24:36She's not here, is she?
24:37She's not here.
24:38She's not.
24:38I mean, I'm just here all alone being sad, all alone!
24:41Sad!
24:41You're just sitting here with little wrinkles on your face and she's not here!
24:44No, no, no, no.
24:45I mean, what's the point of grieving if there's no one there to see you do it?
24:48You're right, Eddie.
24:48You're always right, sweetie.
24:50I mean, I should be there, you know?
24:52I shouldn't.
24:52I mean, he would want me to be there, wouldn't he?
24:54He'd want you to be there, sweetie.
24:55He'd want me to be there.
24:56Yeah.
24:56He'd want me to be there.
24:57Yeah.
24:59He'd want you to be there as well.
25:01No, I don't think he'd want me to be there.
25:03What if you want the house, darling?
25:06Yeah, he'd want me to be there!
25:09He'd want him there!
25:11Come on.
25:13And yet, O Lord, God most holy, O Lord, most mighty, O holy and most merciful Saviour, deliver us
25:19not into the bitter pains of eternal death.
26:07whereby he is able to subdue
26:20She's very upset, you know.