The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:17Look at that, doggone, I'm so sick of this, I don't know, dude, look at a novel, a novel,
00:21a novel, 300 cable channels, I gotta block off 280, you know why, sex, it's every doggone
00:27where it's on TV, DVD, videotape, even on internet, let me tell y'all, the other day, baby girl
00:34was on the computer looking for some pictures of some pussycats, it took me six hours to
00:39explain her what she saw, now America, I'm gonna tell you something, we gotta get this
00:43doggone sex off the television, put it back on the street where it belongs, this is ridiculous,
00:47huh, another one, that's a commercial, this, baby don't you know, that I love you so,
01:01hey yo man, uh, what's the pool, yo man, excuse me, the pool, the pool, man forget it, I'll find
01:41the pool party
01:44Who told Vanessa she could have a pool party at my doggone house?
01:47I told Vanessa she could have a pool party at our house.
01:51Now relax, Bernie. The kids are just having fun.
01:54You know what? That's all right.
01:55If I see that naughty-headed boy walking around here, the one that was in the house, acting like it's
01:59his...
01:59Sweetie, just go back inside.
02:02Go on.
02:06See, now, that right there, that's one of those Simulac babies.
02:09Man, they ain't making them that day when we were young.
02:12Mm-mm. Man, if I was 15 now...
02:14You'd still be peeking and not playing. So, shut up.
02:17What y'all doing?
02:20Yo, yo, yo, Bernie, man, look.
02:22Man, these girls dressing like they grown, man.
02:25Look at the one in the blue right there.
02:26What? Right there.
02:28That's Wanda.
02:31Sorry, man.
02:33I don't envy you, man. My daughter's a year older than Vanessa, and I'm already chasing away the boys.
02:39Hey, man, they boys at that age only have one thing on their minds, dawg.
02:43Uh-huh.
02:45Oh, cut it out, man.
02:47Y'all trying to put the cables on me, man.
02:49Make me paranoid.
02:51Besides, man, you talking about kids.
02:54You know, I ain't worried about it.
02:57You know, Wanda's out there.
02:59She's chaperoning.
03:00Mm-hmm.
03:06What the hell is that?
03:07Hey, man, we're just telling you who little boys are. No need to get upset.
03:10No.
03:11No!
03:12No!
03:16What are you doing?
03:18Why your pops gotta be like that?
03:20I'm not a pop.
03:22Why don't you get in the pool to cool off?
03:24I can't swim.
03:25I don't want you to swim.
03:27Why don't you get in the deep end?
03:32Why don't you get in the deep end?
03:32Bernie, leave these kids alone.
03:35Look here.
03:36I'm telling y'all both.
03:37I'm not gonna let Vanessa bring another mouth in this house for us to feed.
03:40What?
03:41What are you talking about?
03:42I'm talking about your sister too, dawg-one young to become an auntie.
03:46That's what I'm talking about.
03:47Aunt Wanda, can you please tell your husband to leave me alone?
03:52He's ruining my party.
03:55She's a good girl.
03:58Stop, Bernie.
04:00He was holding her hand, baby.
04:02Exactly, Bernie.
04:03Holding hands.
04:05How bad is that?
04:06That's a start.
04:07That young boy got hormones jumping all out of his body.
04:09You ain't making it no better with that outfit you got on.
04:13You like my outfit, Bernie, man?
04:16One-stop.
04:17You're making it real hard for me to do my duty as a parent.
04:21You let Aunt Wanda handle the duties as a parent.
04:25And maybe tonight we'll talk about your husbandly duties.
04:30Now, shoot.
04:32Go on.
04:38What you doing?
04:39Oh, hey, um, nothing.
04:41It was time out.
04:41You're a liar.
04:44I'm sick of this.
04:49How the hell did I get back here?
04:57Hey, what's this?
04:59Huh?
05:00I was giving Kevin my number.
05:01No, you was giving Kevin my number.
05:03How come you're not in the deep end?
05:06But hurry up.
05:09Your page is blowing up.
05:12You are ruining my life.
05:15Aunt Wanda.
05:17Bernie Mac, out.
05:19Talking about I'm ruining your life.
05:21Girl, I'm trying to save your life.
05:23Well, fine.
05:24I'll tell you what.
05:25I ain't changing no diapers.
05:29All a kick in your chest.
05:35Hey, where y'all going?
05:36Yo, man, we can catch the game somewhere else, all right?
05:39No, no, man.
05:40I'm cool, man.
05:40Come on.
05:41Sit down.
05:41Sit down.
05:44Hey.
05:46What?
05:48What the?
05:49A little nuthead.
05:51Hey!
05:51Where's letting us kids drive them crazy?
05:55America!
06:01Hey, hey.
06:02What y'all running for?
06:03Because you won't leave us alone.
06:06Alone?
06:06Why you want to be alone?
06:08Y'all must be up to something.
06:10We were just getting some soda.
06:12Soda?
06:13Yeah, I know what that mean.
06:14You better not be getting no soda in this house, boy.
06:17What?
06:18Don't what me, boy.
06:19You know exactly what I mean.
06:21I'm not going to let you ruin this girl's life.
06:24Matter of fact, I want you out my house.
06:26Your party is over.
06:29I can't stand you.
06:30Yeah, okay.
06:32You get out of here.
06:42You see how ungrateful she is?
06:44She hates me.
06:45I'm trying to save her for making a big mistake.
06:47I ain't trying to be no hard guy, America.
06:50But I'll chase baby girls around this house every day if I have to.
06:54If that's what it takes to keep her away from boys, who?
07:03I hate him.
07:05I heard that.
07:07I heard that.
07:20Hey, babe.
07:24This is a great age, huh?
07:26Tell me about it.
07:27I got a 13-year-old at home.
07:29Nothing but trouble.
07:31She had a pool party the other day.
07:33All kinds of boys walking through the house,
07:35hitting on them like they grown.
07:36Well, then I'm the bad guy when I throw this stuff in the pool.
07:39Yeah.
07:40I think we ought to lock him up from the ages of 13 to 18 to keep him safe,
07:43and then at the age of 18, unlock him, kick him out of the house.
07:46That's exactly how I feel.
07:48Kids need boundaries.
07:50That's why I send my boy to Catholic school.
07:51Me too.
07:53I'm Bernie, man.
07:54Hey, David.
07:55Hey, David.
07:56Here we go.
07:57Hey, sport.
07:58Hey.
07:59Dad, can I go with Jordan's and play?
08:01No, I think Bernie's busy, and you've got homework.
08:03Come on.
08:04No, no, no, no.
08:04He can come.
08:05I mean, this is a great time for boys to build a lifelong friendship.
08:09Yeah.
08:09You're right.
08:10Four o'clock?
08:11Fine with me.
08:15Nessa, get that.
08:16Why?
08:17None of my friends are welcome here, so I know it's not for me.
08:33Bernie!
08:34Hey, Dave!
08:35What's going on, Dave?
08:37Byron!
08:38Hey, Jordan!
08:39Byron's here!
08:41Bernie Mac.
08:42Yes.
08:42I can't believe Dave didn't know who you were.
08:45I am your biggest fan.
08:46You were, like, the funniest man on the planet.
08:49Um, thank you.
08:52This is Phil, my very over-the-top partner.
08:56Partner?
08:59Bernie, I was just telling Phil how much you and I have in common.
09:03It's uncanny.
09:04It's unnatural.
09:08Well, I hope you have a good time, Byron.
09:10Give Daddy a kiss.
09:13Okay.
09:15Ciao, Bernie.
09:16Ciao.
09:17Take it easy.
09:22Okay.
09:22Here we go.
09:24All right.
09:25Today is you guys' day.
09:26Anything you want to do is fine.
09:28Look, I got a football.
09:30I got a pair of boxing gloves.
09:32Hey, look here.
09:32I got toy guns.
09:34We can play war.
09:36You do play war, don't you, Byron?
09:39Oh, whatever.
09:41See this video game here?
09:42This game here, man, you can tear a guy's hair clear on.
09:46We got some good regular guy fun today.
09:53Make a loop.
09:56The bunny goes up the hole, around the tree, and back into the hole.
10:03Not full, but not too tight.
10:05Like this?
10:11What the hell?
10:11Yarn?
10:12What are you guys doing?
10:14Byron showed me how to make a knot.
10:16Why are you using yarn?
10:17That's a needed point of time.
10:18Bowls on girls.
10:18Hey, give me this.
10:20We couldn't find anything else.
10:22You mean you couldn't find wire, a fishing line, a stenchicord, something like that to play with?
10:26Mr. Mac?
10:27Yes.
10:28Isn't that stuff dangerous?
10:30Um, yes.
10:32Listen, it's just nice outside for you all to be inside playing with knots.
10:36Come on.
10:36I want y'all to get up.
10:37I want you to go outside and play.
10:38Huh?
10:39Huh?
10:39Let me train some cars or something.
10:40Be a man.
10:42Brianna's having fun with her dolls.
10:44Why don't you go break that up?
10:47The Undertaker says bring it on.
10:56Who are those three still here or something else?
10:59I'd have killed that mom.
11:00Ah!
11:04Ah!
11:05Ah!
11:06Ah!
11:06Ah!
11:06Jordan, Brianna.
11:07Jordan, stop.
11:08Stop.
11:09Break it up.
11:10What's going on here?
11:10You all playing too close.
11:12We were just playing WSWF.
11:13I was about to give him a power driver.
11:15Ain't gonna be no power driver, Jordan.
11:17Did I do something wrong?
11:22No, son.
11:23You didn't do nothing wrong.
11:25Listen.
11:26I just want you all to have some fun.
11:28Good, clean.
11:29Fun.
11:29Okay?
11:31Now here.
11:32Go to her.
11:33I'll make it too much of this.
11:36Maybe I'm to a home school.
11:38Maybe they're just children.
11:40Maybe they're just boys out there having fun.
11:43Ain't nothing wrong with that boy.
11:46America, the night man of fall child.
12:10America, I know exactly what you're thinking.
12:13Those are two young boys out there playing, and what could be so wrong?
12:16See, I'm not trying to mess with the boys' fun.
12:19I just don't want them to grow up too soft.
12:22See, Jordan, he can be anything he wants to be.
12:25If he wants to grow up to be a policeman, he can be that.
12:28Well, how about a construction worker?
12:30Nothing wrong with that.
12:31He even might want to join the Navy.
12:34Hey, I have no problem with that.
12:36It does not matter if he want to be a biker, or cowboy, or Indian chief.
12:41I personally don't mind.
12:44The boy can be whatever he wants to be.
12:47Right?
12:47Whatever he wants to be.
12:50See?
12:52How you doing, cop?
12:56Uh, chief, your whopper coming out your pouch.
13:02Let's move on.
13:07Hey, Bernie.
13:08Hey, hey.
13:09Hey, buddy.
13:10Hey, sport.
13:11Everything okay?
13:12Yeah, the boys are great, you know.
13:14Jordan has asthma, and I can see all the activity kind of weighing him down.
13:18All right.
13:19Oh, hey, hon.
13:21What's going on?
13:22Oh, uh, Brenda, this is Bernie.
13:24Bernie, this is my wife.
13:25Your wife?
13:29I thought you and Phil was partners.
13:32We are.
13:34We're writing partners.
13:35But sometimes I think they're the married couple.
13:38You know what?
13:39I got to get back, Jordan.
13:40He had the reason.
13:43It's like, yeah.
13:45See?
13:46That's why I didn't judge.
13:48At most, I was overly cautious.
13:50Man, there was children involved.
13:52Okay, I heard Jordan filmed this.
13:55I'm sorry.
13:56Here, get over it.
13:57And if I heard Jordan out there,
14:03I hate him.
14:04I heard that.
14:07Take your miss.
14:18So, how are we gonna get him?
14:21I don't know, but we have to choose our time just right.
14:32Brianna's asleep.
14:34Do you have any plans for tonight?
14:36No, you know I ain't got no plans for tonight.
14:39Good, because I'm expecting a package.
14:44Package?
14:49Good night, kids.
14:51Good night.
14:54See?
14:56Respect.
14:58That's what I'm talking about.
15:11It's like we're gonna steal the package.
15:14No, no, no.
15:15There is no package.
15:16That was just a cover-up so they could handle their business.
15:19It's more like a code word.
15:22Oh.
15:24They're nasty.
15:25This would be the perfect time for us to get him.
15:28Yeah.
15:29Let's get him.
15:31Do you think there's cookies in the package, Triss?
15:33I don't know, but if you help us out,
15:36I promise I'll get you a whole bunch of cookies.
15:39Yay!
15:40Shh!
15:41Yay!
15:48You know, Mr. Mack,
15:50I think you're trying to seduce me.
15:52And guess what?
15:54I kind of like it.
15:55Get out of here.
15:57I'll show you what I am.
15:58Yeah.
16:00Uncle Barney!
16:01What?
16:02I'm scared.
16:05Scared of what?
16:06Oh, I forgot.
16:09Well, come back when you remember.
16:11Okay.
16:16Uncle Barney?
16:19Baby, hold on.
16:20Mm.
16:21Hold on.
16:22What?
16:25You see?
16:26There's no monsters down here.
16:31Now, look.
16:33I looked everywhere.
16:35I can't find no monsters.
16:37Now, anybody else want anything?
16:40Okay, good.
16:41Because as a write-down,
16:42Uncle Barney officially off the clock.
16:43Don't call me for nothing.
16:45Call me again.
16:46Let's see what'll happen to you.
16:57Is everything okay?
16:58Baby, it's crazy, man.
16:59Now those kids got great timing, man.
17:02Cares.
17:03Now it's our time.
17:04Sure you're right.
17:05You're right.
17:05What?
17:06I've been yearning for you, baby.
17:08I'm valid.
17:08Ow!
17:10What the hell is that?
17:12Hold on.
17:12See what I'm talking about?
17:13See?
17:16Now look.
17:17I done told you all for the last time not to disturb me.
17:20That mean not even a knock on the door.
17:22I don't want you all to get out of bed for nothing.
17:25If you put one foot on the floor, I'm going to be angry.
17:28Do you understand me?
17:29What if we...
17:30What if nothing?
17:31You can't do nothing.
17:32I don't care for the earthquake.
17:33You just ride it.
17:35I should have left y'all Cabrini Green.
17:38Just animals.
17:44Like you ain't got no home training.
17:57Baby.
18:01What's that?
18:01That's brother of mine.
18:03No.
18:03I'm serious.
18:04I heard something outside.
18:04Baby could be a stray cat now.
18:06See?
18:08See?
18:10Mmm.
18:12Mmm.
18:15Granny.
18:16Granny, now.
18:17What? What? What? What?
18:18I told you there was someone in the yard.
18:20Who out there?
18:22Hold on, Sam.
18:23Hold on.
18:23Just say anything.
18:24Well, let me come out there.
18:26You picked the wrong house.
18:29Wrong house.
18:31That's why you picked the wrong house.
18:33You picked the wrong house.
18:35Yes, Sam.
18:36Now, I'm going to ask you one more time.
18:38Who out there?
18:39It's the master.
18:41See?
18:42See?
18:42I knew it was you, kids.
18:44I told you not to get out of bed, didn't I?
18:46Y'all really in trouble now.
18:49Oh, it's on now.
18:50I don't know who y'all think y'all playing with.
18:52Like, I ain't never been a kid.
18:53I was the worst kid on the block, boy.
18:55When I was...
18:55Yeah!
18:56I saw you!
18:56I see you!
18:57Oh!
18:59Boy!
19:00I'm going to kill you.
19:01You better hope my leg is broke.
19:03I swear for Lord, whatever on time, man.
19:05Wanda.
19:07Wanda.
19:07Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby.
19:13Okay.
19:14I understand that you were angry with your Uncle Bernie, but did you even consider your
19:18Aunt Wanda's feelings?
19:20Sorry, Aunt Wanda.
19:21You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
19:24Yeah, you were collateral damage.
19:26No, no.
19:27You all were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
19:29I told y'all not to get out of bed, and y'all chose to disrespect our privacy.
19:33You didn't respect ours.
19:35Yeah!
19:36You little kids ain't got no doggone privacy.
19:38Bernie, stop it.
19:41Vanessa.
19:42He embarrassed me in front of all my friends.
19:47Jordan.
19:48I feel like Byron's mad at me because he had to go home early.
19:52Bernie, say you're sorry.
19:53I'm not saying I'm...
19:54Bernie, say you're sorry.
19:58I'm sorry.
19:59Kids, say that's okay, Uncle Bernie.
20:03That's okay, Uncle Bernie.
20:05Okay.
20:06Great.
20:06We're all one big happy family.
20:08You, go to bed.
20:09You three, stay.
20:13Good one, tell me.
20:15Say I'm sorry.
20:16I didn't...
20:19Now, your Uncle Bernie has shown you that your feelings are important, and he and I need
20:24our time alone.
20:25You understand?
20:27Yes, ma'am.
20:27Yes, ma'am.
20:28Good.
20:30Because the next person that comes into your room will be me.
20:34And we don't want that, do we?
20:36No way.
20:37Oh.
20:39Good.
20:40Good night.
20:41And I'll take these.
20:44And I'll take these.
20:59Baby, let's go.
21:02Baby?
21:03Bernie?
21:20Pick up on this tomorrow night.
21:22Oh, wait.
21:23I have a meeting.
21:24Okay, some other time.
21:27Show you how.
21:29I'm going to stop.
21:30I'm going to get to my dad.
21:31I'm going to get to my dad.
21:33I'm going to get to my dad.
21:34Tell me no more.
21:37Let me be straight.
21:39This ain't about Jordan being gay.
21:42I don't care if he played with a little boy or a little girl.
21:45I don't want him to be exposed to sex at his age.
21:49If you like, I'll put him in a bubble.
21:53You're going to tell him.
21:55You're going to tell me already, my nephew.
21:58If I don't want to play with whatever I want to play with,
22:01then he ain't going to play with.
22:03Y'all can cut it off.
22:12I don't want to play with a little boy or a little boy or a little boy.
Comments