00:03Okay, everybody, it's time for the third annual
00:06Scariest Pumpkin Contest.
00:07Yay!
00:09And this year, our esteemed judges are Carl Winslow
00:15and Steve Urkel.
00:20Well, I'm proud to be included in this family's
00:23charming pagan ceremony.
00:26I would have been a contestant, but my pumpkin was stolen from me
00:29by a burly five-year-old.
00:31And she had a mean left hook.
00:35Okay, let the contest begin.
00:38The first pumpkin was carved by me and my mom.
00:45The next pumpkin was carved by me and my mom.
00:50And the last pumpkin was carved by me and Eddie.
00:59Well, there's your winner.
01:12It's a rare condition this day and age
01:16To read any good news on the newspaper page
01:20A loving tradition of the grand design
01:23Some people say it's even harder to find
01:26Well, then there must be some magic clue
01:31Inside these gentle walls
01:34Cause all I see is a tower of dreams
01:38Real love bursting out of every scene
01:44Days go by
01:46It's the bigger love of the family
02:08It's the bigger love of the family
02:11Good morning!
02:16Okay, so I'm a little late
02:17Get off my back
02:21Hey, sis
02:22What was the name of your charm school again?
02:25I'm sorry
02:26It's just that I didn't sleep again last night
02:28Honey, that's the third night in the road
02:30Maybe you should call a doctor
02:32Carl, he'll just say
02:33Get some sleep
02:34And then charge us a hundred bucks
02:37It's just that I want you to be ready
02:38To rock and roll
02:39At the policeman's Halloween bash tomorrow
02:44You know how they always look forward to us
02:46Getting on top of the table
02:47And doing the famous Winslow rumba?
02:55Carl, the only person that looks forward to that
02:57Is you
02:58You didn't notice last year
02:59But they pulled their guns on us
03:05Rachel
03:05You may have to carry the rumba banner this year
03:08Can't, Carl
03:09I'm taking Richie trick-or-treating
03:12No, you're not
03:13I'm going with Eddie
03:14What?
03:17Yeah, you promised me a long time ago
03:21Remember the time I loaned you two dollars?
03:24Oh
03:26I'm sorry, Richie
03:27I forgot all about that
03:28Waldo and I are going to
03:30Daryl Jackson's Halloween party
03:32Oh
03:45Yo, Richmeister
03:46Yeah
03:47Be ready by six o'clock, okay?
03:50All right
03:50Thanks, Eddie
04:05Carl
04:08Carl
04:12Carl
04:17What?
04:19Honey, are you awake?
04:23Well, I am now
04:25Good, let's chat
04:27Chat
04:30Chat
04:32Oh, I see
04:33You can't sleep
04:34So I can't sleep either, right?
04:37I knew you'd understand
04:44Steve, is that you?
04:46Well, it ain't the tooth fairy
04:50Oh, it's official
04:51This is the night from hell
04:55Hey, big guy
04:56Gritty's mother of the woman I love
04:58Steve, what are you doing here?
05:00Well, my motion sensor device was triggered
05:03So I came over to investigate
05:05Motion sensor device?
05:07Yeah
05:07It's a little doohickey I cooked up
05:09To keep track of my favorite family
05:12Either way, Carl
05:13There hasn't been much motion in this room lately
05:22Well, I've been having this back problem, okay?
05:25Every couple of months it goes out on me
05:27And why am I explaining this to you?
05:29Go home, Steve
05:31No, no, wait, Steve
05:32You can stay
05:33What?
05:35Carl, I can't sleep
05:36I need somebody to talk to
05:39Ah, insomnia
05:41Harriet, he's getting a chair
05:45My dear old dad
05:47Has had considerable experience
05:49With that affliction
05:50Really?
05:52Why, he didn't sleep
05:53From 1966 to 1976
05:56A whole decade?
05:58Well, he put the time to good use, though
06:00He learned to speak 12 foreign languages
06:02Wrote three operas
06:04And whittled the entire Osmond family
06:06On a walnut
06:12Steve
06:12Do these things really happen to your family?
06:16Or are you merely trying to gradually drive me insane?
06:21No
06:22Every word is the gospel truth
06:24But this story has a happy ending
06:26In 1977
06:27My father found a surefire remedy for insomnia
06:31Ooh, tell me
06:33He listens to relaxation tapes
06:37His favorite is
06:39Sounds of the Amazon Rainforest
06:43Ooh, I bet that is relaxing
06:46Yeah
06:47Chainsaws, bulldozers, animals shrieking in terror
06:50As they run into their lives
06:54Get out
06:55Oh, I'm just kidding
06:57I don't ecosystem humor
07:04Actually
07:05It's the gentle sounds of wind and rain
07:10Hairy soothing
07:12Steve, where can I buy this tape?
07:14Oh, pistach
07:15I'll make you a copy and bring it over
07:17Oh, thank you, Steve
07:19Now, what can I get for you, Carl?
07:23Some oysters
07:25Vitamin E
07:27A copy of Bolero
07:31Go home
07:33But, Carl, I just want
07:34Go home
07:35Well, if you'll just
07:36Go home, go home, go home
07:40I don't have to take this
07:41I'm going home
07:55Trick or treat
07:58So nice of you to drop by
08:00Here's your lollipop
08:03So I'm go
08:04And a nice, juicy
08:06Spider
08:11I got him
08:16Hey, Spider-Man
08:17Ready to go?
08:18I was born ready
08:20I'm in candy oil drive
08:28Trick or treat
08:28Trick or treat
08:37What's up, Waldo?
08:40How'd you know it was me?
08:43Lucky guess
08:48Hey, guys
08:49Care to ride up the Nile
08:51On my barge?
08:58Hey, Miss Crawford
08:59In this light
09:00You look exactly like
09:01Cleopatra
09:15Mrs. Winslow
09:16Who are you supposed to be?
09:17Shirley Temple Black
09:22Andele, andele, andele
09:28Sergeant Garcia
09:30Unhand that maiden
09:31You dare say no to Zorro?
09:37Oops
09:38Sorry, senorita
09:42Wow, Zorro
09:43Can I have your autograph?
09:46Waldo, it's me
09:47Carl Winslow
09:49Dude
09:49Your dad is Zorro
09:57Come on
09:57Let's go to the party
09:58So we can boogie all night
09:59Yeah
10:00Richie
10:02You have a great time
10:03Trick or treating, okay?
10:05Don't worry
10:05I will
10:06I'm gonna be with my best bud, Eddie
10:08Okay
10:13More trick or treaters
10:20Jump back
10:22Hi
10:23Right back at you
10:25I wonder if you can help me
10:27I wonder no more, baby
10:28Eddie Winslow here at your service
10:30I'm Angela
10:33And I'm glad
10:36Thank you
10:38I'm going to a party at the Jackson house
10:40But I can't find it
10:41Oh, you see
10:41Oh, you see, that's because it's a very difficult house to find
10:43No, it isn't
10:45It's where I pass though
10:49Perhaps I should escort you personally
10:51Just to make sure you're safe
10:53Oh, thanks a lot
10:54See, I'm a friend of a friend
10:55And I won't know anyone at this party
10:58Of course you will
10:59You'll know me
11:00Now, put yourself in park
11:02But keep that motor running
11:10Guys, look at her
11:11She's drop dead gorgeous
11:13I don't know why you're so impressed
11:15For God's sakes, man
11:16Your father is Zorro
11:24Change your plans, Waldo
11:25I need you to take Richie trick-or-treating
11:27Eddie, you promised to take me
11:29I know, Richie
11:30But you'll have just as much fun
11:32If you go at your Uncle Waldo
11:34The guy thinks your father is Zorro
11:40And besides, I want to be with you
11:43I know, Richie
11:44But don't worry
11:44I'll make it up to you
11:45I promise
11:48Come with me into the night
11:50My little mistress of the dark
11:54Ready to go, Richie?
11:56I guess
12:11Steve
12:12Grab it
12:18Steve
12:18Ribbit
12:20One more ribbit out of you
12:22And I'm having frog legs for dinner
12:26I love you
12:27I love you all
12:29I love you
12:30I love you all
12:32I love you
12:33I love you all
12:34I love you
12:39Steve
12:40Ribbit
12:41Stop that
12:42Tell you what, sweetums
12:43Let's make the fairy tale come true
12:45Kiss this homely frog
12:47And turn him into a handsome prince
12:49I am not kissing a frog
12:51Oh, come on
12:52How about a horny toad?
12:59We're back
13:01Where's Eddie?
13:02He went to a party
13:03You mean he ducked out on Richie?
13:05Yeah, big time
13:08Richie, did you have a fun time trick-or-treating?
13:11I had a blast!
13:14But who's Richie?
13:27Excuse me
13:28Yeah?
13:29Who are you?
13:30I'm Tommy Wong
13:32Oh, this is just peachy
13:33Wongo, you brought back the Wong can
13:42Hello, Daryl
13:44This is Waldo Geraldo Faldo
13:46Is Eddie Winslow there?
13:49You know, Zorro's kid
13:52Well, tell him to holler home now
13:56Waldo, how could you make such a mistake?
13:58I don't know
14:00Wait a minute
14:01I do remember a woman with a small kid
14:03Dressed like Spider-Man
14:05There was something different about her
14:08Might she have been Chinese?
14:13Yeah, yeah, yes, heck yes
14:21Yo, this better be good
14:22I was just about to sink my teeth in Angela's neck
14:26Who is this?
14:27Ah, this is Tommy
14:29You see, Waldo left with Richie
14:31But he came back with Tommy
14:35Oh, yeah?
14:36Yeah
14:36Well, then, where's Richie?
14:40That's what we don't know!
14:45Whoa, chill
14:47Waldo, man, you really messed up this time
14:49This is the dumbest thing you've ever done
14:51Hey, you left a small kid with me
14:53And you calling me dumb?
14:58Look, Eddie, we're just wasting time
14:59Richie could be out there all alone
15:01The poor kid's probably scared to death
15:10Get your folks on home
15:11We gotta think fast
15:16Stop thinking, Waldo
15:17You'll hurt yourself
15:21They're gonna kill me
15:22I'm dead meat!
15:23Eddie, just chill out
15:24Okay, we'll just put the mask back on Tommy
15:26And the first chance we get
15:27We'll go back out and look for Richie, okay?
15:29Put your mask back on, okay?
15:30Stand right here, okay?
15:33Give me a break
15:35Come on, Rachel
15:36It wouldn't have killed you to dance just once with Lieutenant Murtaugh
15:39Carl, the man came dressed as a sofa
15:43He asked all the women to stretch out on him
15:48Hi
15:51All right, what happened?
15:53What do you mean?
15:53Nothing happened
15:56Richie?
16:01Did you have a good time trick-or-treating?
16:03Oh, he had a great time out, Rachel
16:06Well, let's get you out of this costume
16:08You must be so hot
16:09Oh, no, no, he's fine, I'm reading
16:10Oh, yeah, bye-bye
16:11Yeah, we just came back to make a piss stop
16:12And we're on our way back out now
16:18Hello?
16:19Oh, oh, we're out of candy
16:21No, I think there's been a little mix-up
16:24Why, whatever do you mean?
16:28Well, isn't that my son?
16:30Oh, please, I know my own son
16:37Richie?
16:38Come here
16:41I'm shocked
16:51Eddie
16:53How could you?
16:56I don't know
16:58He doesn't know
16:59Don't hand-dust that
17:03You left my son with Waldo
17:05How could you?
17:07I don't know
17:08He doesn't know
17:10Don't hand-dust that
17:13Eddie
17:15What you did was so irresponsible
17:19I mean, luckily it had a happy ending
17:21But it could have been tragic
17:23I know Aunt Rachel
17:25And I'm sorry
17:26You're sorry?
17:27He's sorry
17:27Don't hand-dust that
17:32But don't you guys think that part of the blame is due to the enormous popularity of Spider-Man?
17:38Oh, I just
17:38Calm down
17:41He let his hormones overpower his good judgment
17:44Harriet, that is no excuse
17:46Young man, you are in for major punishment
17:49It is so major that it hasn't even been invented yet
17:53But when I do think of it
17:54It is going to be so awful that
17:56That Saddam Hussein will say
17:58Whoa, car, lighten up
18:03Go ahead, Dad
18:04I got it coming
18:06Yeah, we're getting in that kitchen and talk to Richie
18:08He's a very hurt little boy right now
18:11Yes, ma'am
18:16And mom
18:18You were right about my hormones overpowering my good judgment
18:22You see, at my age, I'm kind of heavy on the hormones and light on the good judgment
18:27Don't hand-dust that
18:33Hey, Richmeister
18:55Can I talk to you a second
18:57Why don't you get Waldo to do it
19:02Ouch
19:04I guess I deserve that, huh
19:10I'm sorry, man
19:12I really let you down
19:15Eddie
19:15Yeah
19:17Don't you like me?
19:21Why are you kidding?
19:23You're my best bud
19:25Best buds don't dump you for a girl
19:35Hey, Rich
19:38Do you remember last week when we were at the mall
19:40And you saw that red bike through the toy store window?
19:44Yeah, the 10-speed with the electric horn
19:46I wanted that baby the second I saw it
19:49Well, that's the way I felt when I saw Angela
19:53Really?
19:54Wouldn't you rather have a bike?
19:57Not anymore
19:59And someday, you won't either
20:02Wow, that's scary
20:06You know, I'll tell you what was scary
20:09When I came home and found out you were gone
20:13Boy, I was real scared
20:15Really?
20:18Yeah, I mean
20:20I was afraid something terrible might have happened to you
20:23You were really worried
20:26Well, of course, Richie
20:30See, I don't just like you
20:36I love you, little guy
20:39Oh, what?
20:47Best buds again?
20:49Best buds
20:51Listen, if we hurry, we can still get in a little trick-or-treating
20:54You up for it?
20:55I sure am
20:57So, did you get much candy with Waldo?
20:59Are you kidding?
21:01He threw eggs at houses and then rang the doorbell
21:05We spent the whole night running
21:08Well
21:10That's Waldo
21:24You know, Harriet
21:26That tape is relaxing
21:29Yes
21:31Remind me to
21:34To thank Steve for making me a copy
21:38Okay
21:40Hmm
22:12Urkel here
22:13I'm hot, you're not
22:15All right, Waldo
22:17No, not much
22:19Just making a relaxation tape for Harriet Winslow
22:24Yeah, she still has that insomnia problem
22:28Poor woman's eyes look like a road map
22:33Well, of course, that would help
22:35But Carl claims to have bank problems
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