00:07Sgt. Winslow?
00:18Why, Lieutenant Murtaugh, you look...
00:21dapper.
00:24Yes, I do. I'm a dapper dude.
00:30How can I help you, sir? You can help me celebrate.
00:31I just bought a new car.
00:36Whoa.
00:37Wow, what a beauty. Yep.
00:401969 Pontiac Firebird
00:42convertible.
00:43Car of my dreams.
00:45That must have cost you a pretty penny.
00:47Yeah, I'm in hock up to my ascot.
00:51That baby was worth it.
00:52Not a scratch on her cherry.
01:09Can you get your money back, sir?
01:14Winslow?
01:14You recognize that person that just hit my car?
01:18I believe I do, sir.
01:21Hi, Mom.
01:29Carl! Carl!
01:31Somebody parked their old piece of junk right in our driveway.
01:35Now, here's their license plate.
01:37Track them down and chew them out.
01:41Hello, Lieutenant.
01:42Nice ascot.
01:59It's a rare condition, this day and age
02:03to read any good news on the newspaper page.
02:07And love and tradition of the grand design.
02:10Some people say it's even harder to find.
02:14Well, then there must be some magic clue
02:17inside these gentle walls.
02:21It's all I see is a tower of dreams.
02:26Real love bursting after every scene.
02:30As days go by
02:33We're gonna fill our house with happiness
02:37The moon may dry
02:40But we'll smother the blues with tenderness
02:44As days go by
02:47There's room for you
02:49Room for me
02:51For gentle hearts and opportunity
02:55It's days go by
02:58It's the bigger love of the family
03:14Hey, Waldo. Let's try and pick up some chicks.
03:16Forget it.
03:18How come?
03:19We might get a hernia.
03:23We should start off slow, maybe bench press some little kids.
03:28Yeah, right. I guess I wasn't thinking.
03:33Later, man. I'm gonna lay some moves on Cheryl Hanson.
03:38Hey, baby.
03:42Oh, baby, baby, wait. Baby, baby, baby, please.
03:44What the hell?
03:49Mongo, is everything okay?
03:53No, it's not.
03:55Well, what's the matter?
03:57I can't talk to girls.
03:58Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank.
04:02Can you imagine that?
04:08Actually, yes.
04:11Have you ever had a date?
04:13I got close once.
04:15I almost went to the movies with Vicki Vander Fanny.
04:18You mean Hickey Vicki.
04:22Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out
04:24that before she could answer, I barked all over her shoes.
04:30Gee, I hope they weren't suede.
04:33You know, I might as well face it.
04:34When it comes to girls, I'm a loser.
04:36No, you're not. You're just a slow starter.
04:39I'm a no starter.
04:40I once had a 976 number hang up on me.
04:48Waldo, I'll be right back.
04:50Yeah, that's what they all say.
04:55Laura, I need your assistance.
04:57I want you to talk to Waldo.
04:58I'm worried about him.
05:00Aren't we all?
05:02No, no, really.
05:03He's real down on himself.
05:05And he could use a few kind words from a lovely lady.
05:10Uh, Steve.
05:12Look at his poor pathetic face.
05:15He's so sad he could depress Richard Simmons.
05:22Well, hello, boys.
05:24What'll it be?
05:26Two root beer floats.
05:28Make mine a double.
05:30Mmm, bad day, Lou.
05:32He just bought a classic convertible and had a little accident.
05:35Little.
05:36Little.
05:38Who'd you run into?
05:39Somebody ran into me.
05:41Tell her, tell her, tell her who ran into me.
05:43Tell her who ran into me.
05:44Go ahead, tell her.
05:46My mother.
05:49Mother Winslow?
05:50Is she all right?
05:52Mrs. Knievel is fine.
05:57It's my car that's suffering.
05:59Is it smashed bad?
06:01Bad.
06:01If I want to see the taillights, I gotta open the glove box.
06:07No, no, I mean it, Waldo.
06:09You have a lot of qualities girls really go for.
06:12I do?
06:13Like what?
06:20Your looks.
06:21I mean...
06:24You...
06:25are...
06:26very...
06:33handsome.
06:39Now, let's just put it this way.
06:41You have the perfect face for your head.
06:51Oh, cool.
06:53What else?
06:55Well, you're sweet and you're sensitive.
06:58You're courteous and you're kind.
07:00I am?
07:02That's right.
07:03You know, I think you're one of the nicest boys I ever met.
07:08Aw, shucks.
07:10You really mean it?
07:11I sure do.
07:12From the bottom of my heart.
07:18So, Waldo, did Laura perk you up a little?
07:21She sure did.
07:22But now I got a bigger problem.
07:24Well, what's that?
07:25Laura's in love with me.
07:43Oh, my gorgeous gladiola.
07:45We have got big trouble.
07:48We do?
07:49Well, don't think you're in love with him.
07:51What?
07:53What in Sam Hill did you say to him, woman?
07:59I just wanted him to feel better about himself, so I gave him a few compliments.
08:03Well, obviously the big delude mistook your compliments for expressions of amour.
08:10Oh, great.
08:11Look, you got me into this.
08:12Now, how am I gonna get out of it?
08:14Well, talk to Waldo.
08:16Set him straight.
08:16And do it before he falls in love with you.
08:20Oh, come on, Steve.
08:21That won't happen.
08:23Oh, foolish woman.
08:26You underestimate the awesome power of your beauty.
08:30Why, no better than any man the inescapable spell that you cast.
08:36Steve, look, stop it.
08:38I've known Waldo for years and he'd never be interested in me.
08:41Oh, are you sure?
08:43Positive.
08:43The day Waldo falls for me is the day I eat my science book.
08:57Hello, Laura, my love.
09:04Bon appetit.
09:22Roses are red.
09:24Violets are blue.
09:26Here.
09:35Thanks.
09:41Plastic.
09:43They last longer.
09:45Especially if you change the water every day.
09:48I'll be sure to do that.
10:05Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time.
10:08But would you like to kind of maybe go out with me?
10:13Sort of tomorrow night?
10:15Maybe?
10:16Now let him down easy.
10:20Sure, Waldo.
10:22Not that easy!
10:27Great, I'll pick you up at 7.30.
10:29Waldo!
10:30Waldo!
10:30How could you do this to me?
10:32I'm sorry, Steve.
10:33I know how you feel about Laura.
10:35But like they said in the movie Love Story, love means never having to say I'm sorry, Steve, but I'm
10:38taking your chick.
10:44Waldo?
10:45Waldo?
10:46You're actually going out with Waldo?
10:48Haroldo?
10:50Waldo?
10:50Waldo?
10:52Waldo?
10:53Waldo?
10:53That's right.
10:55Allow me to quote the 25th letter of the alphabet.
11:02why well Steve I've been trying to convince Waldo that girls find him
11:06attractive I couldn't turn right around and refuse to go out with them well why
11:10not you refuse to go out with me for the last decade well that's because you have
11:16self-confidence I can turn you down without destroying your ego well isn't
11:21that just a fine kettle of fish I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable
12:02well shut me with a twist tie and leave me out by the curb for pickup
12:10if it isn't those new sweethearts Waldo and Laura would you like to order some grub bub
12:18ladies first Waldo is it okay if I have a cheeseburger and some fries
12:27how bad do you want the fries
12:31oh what the heck go for it okay and what'll you have Waldo
12:40water
12:43coming right up
12:47you want to dance sure go
13:35couldn't keep up huh baby
13:43Waldo during a slow dance
13:46people usually dance slowly
13:49hey I'm a rebel
13:53oh really is that why you kept booing during the movie
13:58I was upset we drive all the way across town to see the Prince of Ties
14:01and there wasn't one bit of surfing
14:06we should have went to see Jiff
14:11oh you mean JFK
14:22I know how it's spelled
14:25I know how it's spelled
14:41it isn't
14:42it isn't
14:45listen I appreciate the nice things you said to me but we're just not a romantic couple
14:51really
14:54please Laura stop begging
15:01it tears me apart
15:04I'm sorry
15:06I'll try to pull myself together
15:11I know you're upset
15:13but you'll find another guy
15:18remember Newsweek heals all wounds
15:27uh Waldo don't you mean
15:29time heals all wounds
15:36oh yeah I know it's one of those magazines
15:46oh Waldo
15:48thanks for letting me down so gently
15:51no thank you Laura
15:52you're my first date and I'll never forget you
16:06yes
16:07your ring is stuck in my teeth
16:23don't worry I'll get your ring back to you as soon as I can
16:31so how was your dream date
16:34not so hot Waldo dumped me
16:36he did I mean darn the luck
16:40Steve that's enough I'm tired and I want to go home
16:43it's been a grueling night
16:44well uh now that Waldo's out of the picture
16:47does that make me our number one reject
16:51sure Steve
16:52there's no one I want to say no to more than you
16:56whoa
16:56we have a lift off
17:02you know Winslow I've been thinking
17:03your mother's just plain too old to drive
17:05oh she is not
17:06is too
17:07is not
17:07is too
17:08I called the DMV and found out her driver's license number is seven
17:16lieutenant I would appreciate it if you would stop with the mother driving jokes okay
17:20you know you put that woman in a tank she'd win the medal of honor
17:23all right that's it lieutenant
17:24quit dissing my mama
17:27what
17:28okay gentlemen is there a problem here
17:30hey I will say whatever I want whenever I want
17:33oh yeah
17:34yes
17:35anybody want a frozen banana
17:37lieutenant you apologize to me right now
17:39and what if I don't
17:41then I'm gonna do my best to stuff you into this coffee mug
17:43you better bring a lot of help
17:46don't don't break that china
17:49now here's a thought
17:51why don't the both of you grab a nice cozy booth
17:55and I'll bring you to a big slice of pie
18:00pie
18:02I love pie
18:13you want some pie Winslow
18:17you wouldn't dare
18:18oh I wouldn't would I
18:22here's your pie
18:23oh yeah
18:38chocolate cream delicious
18:43but I've got a different kind of pie for you lieutenant
18:47oh really um
18:50what kind of pie would that be
18:52oh it's called humble pie
19:09oh okay
19:11that does it
19:17I've had just about enough dessert
19:24you see if there's one thing I really hate
19:30is eating alone
19:43one pie
19:44two guys
19:46which guy's gonna get the pie
19:48no no no no no Steve
19:50place your back
19:52Steve
19:52drop it nerd
19:53oh I can see you now
19:59oh
20:07I'm so sorry Laura
20:10I'm so sorry
20:13come here Steve
20:14oh hold on
20:15oh oh you know
20:17my shift's over
20:18time for me to punch out
20:21oh come back
20:22I'll punch out
20:29would you look at us
20:32two of Chicago's finest
20:34throwing pies
20:37Winslow
20:39I'm sorry
20:40I shouldn't have made disparaging remarks about your mother
20:43I have great respect for you
20:45and I should show respect for all the other members of your family
20:47well
20:48I appreciate that sir
20:50you know that's very big of you to admit when you're wrong
20:52yes it is
20:53I'm very big that way
20:56friends
20:58friends
21:00and to show you just how sorry I am
21:06Carl
21:08this pie
21:10this pie
21:11is for you
21:23you know sir
21:25that's quite a gesture
21:27thank you
21:31you're welcome
21:32but you know
21:34I'd like to match that gesture
21:36with a gesture of my own
21:41yes
21:41lieutenant
21:43this pie
21:44is for you
21:45ha ha ha ha
21:46ha ha ha
21:47ha ha
21:47ha ha
21:48ha ha
21:48ha ha
21:48ha ha
21:49ha ha
21:49ha ha
21:49ha ha
21:49ha ha
21:50ha ha
21:50ha ha
Comentarios